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Flying [23 Aug 2001|01:18am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | U2, In a Little While ] High, higher than the sun You shoot me from a gun I need you to elevate me here, At the corner of your lips As the orbit of your hips Eclipse, you elevate my soul I've lost all self-control Been living like a mole Now going down, excavation I and I in the sky You make me feel like I can fly So high, elevation A star lit up like a cigar Strung out like a guitar Maybe you could educate my mind Explain all these controls I can't sing but I've got soul The goal is elevation A mole, living in a hole Digging up my soul Going down, excavation I and I in the sky You make me feel like I can fly So high, elevation Love, lift me out of these blues Won't you tell me something true I believe in you A mole, living in a hole Digging up my soul Going down, excavation I and I in the sky You make me feel like I can fly So high, elevation Elevation... Elevation... Elevation... Elevation... Elevation... Elevation... U2, Elevation post comment

la ti dah... [22 Aug 2001|05:08pm] [ mood | productive ] [ music | theme song from Monty Python's Flying Circus ] I'm tired but feel accomplished... I did get to TVI today, filled out the silly little application, and got admitted. When I got home, I called, and got admitted to the Excel class I had wanted to take. All is well. :) Tomorrow I need to go up to the bookstore and see if there's a book I need to get, I think there is. Hit the yarn store finally. Spent $40, but got some really pretty yarns. All of them are colors my mom loves (pinks purples and some bluish), so if this comes out right, she should really love it. I also got some size 10 needles for a scarf I want to make. I started the shawl with the pretty yarns, and am now covered with bits of pink mohair fuzz. Cute :) I'm going to try to make it out dancing tomorrow night. I haven't gone in about two months, and I'm really missing it. Even if I go by myself and don't hang out with anyone or talk to anyone, I still need to go. Hopefully Kent will play some good music. I'll have to try to remember to request something that I like. Maybe ask him to play Panzermench or some Siouxsie and the Banshees. Don't think I did anything else today. Oh, went to the grocery store and bought way too much Dew. I didn't really mean to, but it was on sale, so I stocked up. Got black hair dye, and Alchemy will be over in a bit to apply it. No more brown patches or grey roots for me, wheeee! post comment

such a geek! [22 Aug 2001|12:22am] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | watching Miss Congeniality ] I'm having a good weekend so far. Geeking out over my recent computer accomplishments. Monday night (the last monday I'll have to work, yay!!), I came home and backed up my files to zip disk, then proceeded to format my hard drive. Kinda scary, as I'd never done it before. I only needed to call for help once for that part. Then I reinstalled windows 98, then set up a dual boot and installed windows 2000. I'm in love! :) This OS is very sleek. I get a kick out of just looking at different silly things, like the CPU usage log, which is sort of like a heart moniter. I didn't do it totally by myself, my friend Tery helped me out a bit on the format part, and then walked me through partitioning my HD and the installing win2k part. But I think I learned an awful lot, and should be ok to do it again by myself, if I had to. I love learning new computer stuff. :) Today was pretty tame. Played on the computer, watched TV, took a long bath. Then went to a local coffee house with Mundy and had cherry cider and an awesome spinach calzone....mmmmmmmmm! We hung out and chatted for about 4 hours, with some cool open mike bluesy-stuff playing in the other room. We decided to try to make hanging out a more frequent thing, and he's going to try to arrange a tuesday or every-other tuesday get together for me, him, his gf, and maybe some other friends from Socorro (where we all met in the first place). I hope things work out, because it would be nice to see non-work people on a fairly regular basis. Things on the class front have changed again. I really don't think I can afford to take an arts and sciences class, which would be about $100 plus the $30 registration fee plus whatever amount the books would be (and the classes I usually take tend to need more than one...). Instead, I think I'm going to take a computer class. They're free, so all I'd have to pay would be the registration fee, like a $5 lab fee, and the book. There's an Excel class that would fit in with my schedule, and is even at the nearby campus instead of the main campus downtown, so that's looking favorable. I'm going to go up there tomorrow and see if I can get that all taken care of. It will be good for me to take an Excel class, too, as I know nothing about it, and a lot of things at work are done out of Excel. It's looking good all around. The only bad part will be that it's an 8am class, but I can handle doing that 1 day a week. Let's see, what else... I ordered a webcam, and now I can't wait for it to get here so I can set it up and play with it. Nando got my old one working on his computer, which reaffirms my suspicions that he is some sort of hardware-install freak, as that is TWO, count them, TWO pieces of hardware that I worked and worked and worked to install on my computer, that never worked, that he has gotten to work. The first was the scanner, which he installed on my computer in about 20 minutes. At least he had more problems with the webcam, and wouldn't have had as easy a time if I hadn't found the page with the drivers on it for him. I don't even really know why I want a webcam, but I do! I just got grasped by this sudden desire for one, and usually those urges shouldn't be ignored, because they end up being things I'm very happy with (my cat, my car, my apartment, my tattoo, my lunchbox purse even!). At the least, it'll be a Murry-cam, and everyone will be bombarded with pictures of my cute fat fluffy cat. So tomorrow, the plans are more housework, more computer play, go to TVI and get registered and stuff, FINALLY hit the yarn store, go to the grocrey store and get hair dye, bottled water and cat food, and....I'm forgetting something. Ah well, hopefully I'll remember tomorrow. post comment

movies and stuff like that [20 Aug 2001|02:40am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | And One, Panzermench ] I really shouldn't be writing this, I should be in bed sleeping because I have to get up in...oh, less than 6 hours now. Bleah. Rented more movies. Last night I got An Ideal Husband, the Emperor's New Groove, and the modern Romeo + Juliet. The Emperor's New Groove turned out to have the wrong movie in the box, so I get to take that back tomorrow and get the right one. An Ideal Husband was good, but all the previews made it seem like it was 3 women all chasing after one man, and it wasn't really that way at all. I did enjoy it an awful lot, though. I got Romeo + Juliet because of my Baz Luhrmann kick. After seeing Moulin Rouge a bunch and becoming slightly obsessed with it, I decided that I needed to pay more attention to him. I rented Strictly Ballroom last week, watched it, and enjoyed it immensly. I had seen Romeo + Juliet when it first came out, and had liked it, but it was another Mac-hated movie, so I hadn't seen it or even thought about it really since that first time. I watched it again last night and rather enjoyed it. I love Shakespeare, so of course that helped. One very cool thing about it was that I really noticed how Baz Luhrmann's style has developed. The style that I so loved in Moulin Rouge was only barely present in Strictly Ballroom, but was much more evident in Romeo + Juliet. I can see the evolution. It made the 2nd watching of R + J much more entertaining, because I could enjoy it on that level, and on the Shakespeare level, and also on the visual level (another Baz Luhrmann thing, and another thing that evolves...watch the three and you'll see what I mean). As I watched it, I rather felt the need to watch Shakespeare in Love again. It's such a good, fun movie. After watching An Ideal Husband, I felt the need even more, because the main character (I forget the actor's name) is Christopher Marlowe in Shakespeare in Love. So tonight, after finding that my Emporer's New Groove wasn't what I was expecting, I stuck in Shakespeare in Love. I really love this movie! I had a good time watching it, which can't be said of all the movies I watch over and over. I also appriciate it more now that I've been watching a lot of BBC America, because several of the actors in Shakespeare in Love can be found in some of the more modern British comedies (like Richard Burbage is in British Men Behaving Badly, and the guy that has the stutter is in another one that I don't know the name of). Ok, I'd really best go to bed. Whether I go to bed now or later though, I have a very strong feeling that Starbucks is going to be my best friend tomorrow. Ah well. Damn, I just thought of something else I had meant to say. Eh, it doesn't really fit in with the rest of this, so I'll wait and write on it tomorrow. Something more might happen relating to it in the morning anyway, so best wait and see if there'll be something more to say than what I have right now. 2 comments|post comment

colorful... [18 Aug 2001|12:06pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Switchblade Symphony, Gutter Glitter ] Here are my Hartman Personality Profile test results: Primary: White Secondary: Blue Whites Are Motivated By Peace, Need Kindness, Prefer Quiet Strength, Like To Keep A Low Profile, Are Independent, Are Motivated By Other People's Desires. Blues Are Motivated By Altruism, Seek Intimacy, Crave Being Understood, Need To Be Remembered And Appreciated, Are Directed By A Strong Moral Conscience. If you're a Blue-White combination, you are comfortable. You express yourself softly and sincerely. People find you determined, yet flexible. You are someone with whom almost anyone can get along. post comment

here we are again... [18 Aug 2001|01:41am] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | Aretha Franklin, the Right Time ] ...sitting in the dark, watching Girl, Interrupted. Why does this feel like such a fucking ritual? I haven't even seen this movie in like a month, but once it started, it was sort of spooky. I love this movie. I can't believe that I didn't get to see it sooner than it coming out on HBO. That's another Mac-ism. He hated Wynona Rider, and he hated Angelina Jolie, so we never saw it. For some reason, I never rented it on my own. I really should have. I'm going to sign off now and watch the rest of my movie in the dark, maybe sleep to it again. Not online, not accessable, non existant. post comment

meh [17 Aug 2001|04:08pm] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | (in my head) Sarah McLachlan, Adia ] So I was just talking to Nando. Him and his girlfriend broke up last night. It wasn't really a surprise, as he's been wanting to break up with her for a while now, but he was still sort of bummed. Not really bummed that it happened, but bummed at the situation that caused it to happen *now* (which included a bar brawl, oddly enough). I don't know how I feel about this. My feelings for Nando are nothing but friendship. I've never had any other feelings towards him. We spend a lot of time together at work, so much that there's almost always a rumor going around of us sleeping together or something. I enjoy his company and value his friendship and opinion and everything, but I don't want anything more than that from him. I know that he doesn't feel the same. I don't know how to put this w/o making him sound like a lecherous beast, which he's not...hmmm. Let's just leave it at he's expressed his interest and made certain offers? He always gets turned down, but he says it never hurts to ask. Now that he doesn't have a girlfriend, I'm a bit worried that these...offers...are going to increase. Not that it would change my answers any, but if they did, I could see the friendship quickly becoming very uncomfortable very quickly. It makes me sort of glad he's going to a different shift next week. He'll still be here most of the time that I'm here, but not nearly as much as now. I know I will miss him, because I do enjoy hanging out with him and talking with him, but I have a feeling that overall, it will be a good thing. Last night I had a conversation with someone that makes me wonder if anything is happening or if anything is going to happen. Here comes that hatred for hope again. I must be a glutton for torture or something. Boy, I bet no one reads this anymore. All I do is bitch about work or something that's not happening or headaches. Oh well, just goes to show how I really am, pathetic and boring. post comment

[17 Aug 2001|01:12pm] [ mood | confused ] And yes I believe in what we had But words got in the way And only yesterday As I was leaving Lord knows I've tried to say but I've Heard a million conversations Going where they've been before Seen the way that careful lingers Undecided at the door And all I know for sure All I know for real Is knowing doesn't mean so much When placed against the feeling The heat inside When bodies meet When fingers touch All my words are secondhand and Useless in the face of this Rationale and rhyme and reason Pale beside a single kiss And I've heard so many things I Fail to understand at all I'd settle anytime for Unknown footsteps in the hall outside And all I know for sure All I know for real Is knowing doesn't mean so much When placed against the feeling The heat inside When bodies meet When fingers touch Because the world is cruel and Promises are broken Don't try to tell me Anything don't try to tell me You'll be true to me you know the Real truth is never spoken And I know the world is cold but If you hold on tight to what you Find you might not mind too much though Even this must pass away and Memories may last for years but Names are just for souvenirs Some kind of angel let me Look into your eyes Don't give me whys and wherefores Reason or surprise I don't care for words that don't belong And I don't care what you're called Tell me later if at all I can wait a long long time Before I hear another love song Come here I think you're beautiful My door is open wide Some kind of angel come inside Come here I think you're beautiful I think you're beautiful beautiful Some kind of angel come inside Come here I think you're beautiful I think you're beautiful Some kind of angel come inside Come here I think you're beautiful My door is open wide Some kind of stranger come inside Come here I think you're beautiful I think you're beautiful beautiful Some kind of stranger come inside Come here I think you're beautiful I think you're beautiful Some kind of stranger come inside Some Kind of Stranger, The Sisters of Mercy 1 comment|post comment

i can feel when you break me [15 Aug 2001|10:11pm] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | NIN, Get Down Make Love ] Ok, work people are in a frenzy because they moved up my department's shift change. Today they gave out the senority and the schedules, and we should change to the new shift on 8/26. One thing that will be changing are the hours. There aren't any 2-11 shifts, they moved them up an hour to 3-12. That's ok, I've worked 3-12 before, I can do it again. Also, looks like my days off will finally be changing where I want them to be, monday and tuesday instead of tuesday and wednesday. Tho that is my second choice, so depending on how many people ahead of me want my shift, I might end up with the same thing. Either way, my boss-man will be changing. My boss got stuck with a morning shift, and there's no way I'm following him to mornings. That means Syd will now be my coach. There are good things and bad things about this. The good things are 1. Syd is a really good coach, and I know I will do well on his team. 2. Syd really backs his people, I know two people on his team that should have been fired, and neither were because he backed them so much. 3. Syd is a great guy and very happy to have me on his team, and will most likely fight for the promotion I've been working for these last few months. And the bad...1. I consider Syd a friend, so it will be a bit weird to have him as my boss. I'll feel even worse if I screw up (which I do have a tendency to do) than I would with someone I didn't really care about, like the current boss-man. This makes me glad that I didn't end up going out with him, because it would make things weird now. 2. I'm going to be on the team with the evil bitch from hell cornflake girl. In fact, we'll probably even be on the same shift. Damn. I'm really not looking foward to that. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll want some other shift on some other team in some other state. But I'm not lucky. 3. No more running things. On my present team, there are only 4 "leads", and only I am really able to run the team, because the rest either don't know what they're doing or don't care enough to want to run the team. I, however, enjoy running the team and being boss-man's shadow, enough so that it made me want to go into management someday. On Syd's team, however, I will still be considered a "newbie". Most of the "leads" that are currently on Syd's team will still be, and these are the people that were leads when I first came to my department back in December. Syd might still make me a lead, because he knows that I'm capable and everything (he's helped me a lot with the running of my current team). Even if he does, though, I know none of the others will consider me on the same level as them. I think that's mainly because even though I've been with the company longer than most of them, I haven't been in this department as long, and also I went to them for help when I was new. I have a feeling that they'll always consider me a newbie. And I seriously doubt that I'd be chosen to run things while Syd is gone like I have been doing recently for the boss-man. Part of that relates to the whole newbie thing, that there will be several other people at least as capable as me, if not more (tho honestly, I don't think so...). Also, the cornflake girl eveeel bitch from hell is one of those leads. Syd knows about our conflict, and would never put her in charge of me or me in charge of her. Dammit. I've really enjoyed being the boss-man's shadow. Not the whole power thing, because there really isn't any doing what I've been doing...but I really like helping people, and being the one people look to when they need help with something. Lately people have been coming to me for help with something before they go to anyone else. Lately I've been able to go to any of the other coaches and act like an equal, not a mere phone monkey. Lately I've had no problem going to our Ops department and asking for things that normally only coaches get/do, and having them given or done. I like that. Is that power hungry? I don't know. I don't think so...but re-reading that, I'm not sure. Maybe I just enjoy status other than the status I've had with this company for the last three and a half years. And now, with going to Syd's team, all that is going to be gone. Meh. The other night coach is the same way, he has his own loyal following, so it would be the same if I went to his team...and he doesn't even have any 3-12 shifts. So I'm stuck. I don't know what Syd's going to do about all this, if anything. I tried to drop a hint about it tonight when I was in talking to him, but I don't know if he picked up on it. I'll have to say something more, maybe over the weekend. Ok, enough venting or rambling or whatever. I need to go clean, Nando is going to come over for a bit after work. post comment

the sound of music [15 Aug 2001|12:07am] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | Bjork, the end song from Dancer in the Dark ] Ahhh, the weekend. How I love not working! I really should do this for a living. Of course, the bills wouldn't get paid... The weekend has been nice and tame and relaxing so far. I slept in then read for a few hours. After that, nice bubble bath with some Amber incense burning and some Sisters of Mercy playing in the background. When I got out of the tub, it was pouring outside, and it was dark as night, even tho it was only 5pm. Very nice. :) Then ran some errands, then back home for pizza and a movie. I rented several movies this weekend. I got Snatch, which was hilarious even though I didn't quite catch everything. I think that's one I'll end up buying. I got Dancer in the Dark, which is just finishing up right now. It's very good but very sad. :( I like Bjork as an actress, I hope she does more movies (tho I read somewhere that she said she was going to stick to singing). I also got Strictly Ballroom, which is done by the same guy that did Moulin Rouge. I'll probably save that one for tomorrow. I picked up my knitting again tonight. I started on this big ol' knitting craze back at the beginning of the year, and got about 2/3 the way through my first project (the Isis shawl from the book the Knitting Goddess, if anyone is interested), then stopped. It just sort of sat in a bag in my locker at work until a few weeks ago, then I took it home. Tonight I tried to finish it. I ended up screwing it up tho. :P I thought I was about done, so I knitted about 8 more rows on it then finished it. Turns out I was about 6" short of where I should have finished it. So, now it's not long enough to be a shawl, but too thick to be a scarf. At least, too long to be a shawl on me. Wonder if Manda could get any use out of it, her being so much shorter? I'll have to ask her. So, it not working out like it was supposed to was a bummer. But it's ok. I want to go get more yarn tomorrow and start a new one, I want to make one for my mom for Christmas. But I'm actually going to do this one right. Redid the purple last night. It came out very dark. Outside when it was cloudy, I couldn't really tell the difference between the purple bangs and the black rest of my hair. I hope this time it stays darker, I left it in a lot longer this time. I'm rather fond of the purple. :) I got my test results back from the doctor today. Just a copy of everything and a note saying everything looked normal. That's good. :) I've had a bit of a headache all night, but I took some normal headache stuff for it earlier, and I think it's going away now. I wish my life was less stressful, I think that would help the headaches a lot. post comment

argh! [13 Aug 2001|02:23pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | (in my head) Joy Division, She's Lost Control Again ] So I got a package today, something I had ordered from amazon.com. I am so mad! It looks like it had been run over by a truck! The apartment lady said it came that way, and that she hoped nothing was damaged. Well, it was. :( It really did look like it had been run over. Inside were the CD and video I had ordered. I pulled the CD out first, and the case (which was cardboard, not like a plastic jewel case) was bent all curvy. I opened it up and the CD was fine, so that was ok. Then I pulled out the video...and it rattled. Not the normal video rattle. The broken video rattle. The thing was shattered into about 100 pieces. Bleah! I'm so mad. I was really looking foward to this stuff! I don't know what to do at this point. I'm not sure if I have to contact amazon.com over this or UPS. At least today is my friday. Just 9 small hours to get through and it's the weekend. I think I'll stop at Blockbuster on the way home and pick up a few videos. Tonight is hairdye night, too. I need to bleach the roots of my bangs, and redye them purple. This time I'm going to leave the SFX on overnight, not just two hours. I think it will make a lot of difference. I'm also going to try to apply it better, there were a few missing patches. :P Now I know I meant to say something else...but I don't remember what. Oh well, more later I'm sure. 2 comments|post comment

[12 Aug 2001|03:14pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | (in my head) Tori Amos, Josephine ] Yecht. Today has not started out well. Last night, I was bummed and cranky all through work. Then I went home and got in my jammies and read and watched 10 things I hate about you, so that was better. But then I had to wake up today. I think the futon is starting to kill my back or something. Every day this week I've woken up sore or in pain or something, and I haven't even been doing anything really physical (not even working out, because my back has been hurting too much for that lately). I really wish I lived in a 1bdrm apartment and not a studio. If I lived in a 1 bedroom, I could probably talk my mom into loaning me the money to buy a bed, so the futon would just be a couch and not what I slept on every night. As it is, I don't have the room for it. I'm sure I could re-arrange things so it would all *fit*, but I would just have little walk paths and no space and no place to work out, and I'm sure I would get depressed by the lack of freedom of movement. Plans are still on to try to pay off my car next month. So far the stock isn't cooperating, it's at 44.30...I need it higher, at least 50, pref. 60 or so. Either way, I don't have to worry about paying my car payment next month, so I technically could put that money towards a bed...but still no space. If the stock is good and I get to pay it off all the way, I will try to up my lease to a 1 bedroom apartment right away, even though I hate the idea of moving again. Then I'll be using the money I was using for my car for my apartment, and should still be able to talk my mom into buying me a bed (because she will be soooo happy and proud that I have paid off my car...I hope. She should be, because it makes her look good too, being in her name and all). Meh. So many needs, so little cash! I really don't want to start working again. I'm slacking off now, which means I won't get to take a lunchbreak later...but things are crazy right now and I don't have the energy to deal with it. Just today and tomorrow and it's the weekend again! post comment

shine like thunder, cry like rain [11 Aug 2001|04:17pm] [ mood | distressed ] [ music | (in my head) Sisters of Mercy, Temple of Love ] Ok, my earlier ponderings on short girls has turned into a full-on depression about being so damn tall. It wasn't just that, it was being at work and being in the work chat room, and all the guys talking about some girl that was SO sexy, and she was short, and short girls are sexy, and they like 'em short. Sigh. I am not short. I have never been short. The only way I would ever be short is if I cut my legs off at the knee. That would make me about...4'10", so a bit too short. That and I'd have no feet or calves or anything. Usually I love being tall. Usually. I don't know what it is lately with me being so down about it though. I think that the ideal of a small, skinny girl is really starting to get to me. This is something I have NO control over whatsoever, yet I am letting it get me horribly down. 1. I have no control over the fact that I am tall and all the guys like short girls that are sexy (whether or not I am that I have no idea, I personally really don't think so). 2. I have no control over the fact that the guys like the short girls, obviously nothing that I do will change that. Why can't I find guys that like tall girls? Why do I let all this bother me so? Usually I pride myself on not giving a fuck what other people think of me...I guess it's just hard when something I have no control over makes them *not* think of me. My head hurts, but not enough to justify taking one of the perscription pills and making myself dizzy for the next few hours. I feel sick anyway. I'm glad I ate before work, I don't think I could eat anything at all now. 4 comments|post comment

how can they be so sweet? [11 Aug 2001|02:25pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Color Theory, Ponytail Girl ] Sigh. I want to go to C7. Really really badly. Seeing as it's next week, this won't be happening, but still...sigh. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, it's Convergence 7. It's a big convention for all the net.goths and the like out there. Once a year, everyone gets together in the chosen city and there are bands, club nights, shopping, fashion shows, parties, and an all around good time. You can check out the website for this year, here. This year it's in NYC, which I've never been too. The city really isn't the important part, I'd go whereever. It's just everything else that sounds so fun. Going and hanging out or at least meeting the people that I read about or talk to online. Being with a huge group of people *like me*. I've been reading the thread on AGF about "how to spot me at C7!" and it makes me sigh, cause no one will be spotting me. One thing I thought was funny about that thread, everyone is so *short*! I wish I could go just to see that, and be tall around everyone. There was all these people at 5' or 4'11" or 5'3" and stuff...and they wear huge platforms....well, even in their platforms, I'd prolly be taller. At 5'10", I wish I could go and wear platforms. I would be huge. Sigh. Work is insanely busy again today. Is it so much to ask for, to have slow weekends? This really blows. All of these people should find better things to do with their weekends than to bug me. post comment

ho-hum [10 Aug 2001|10:14pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | none ] Maybe I should actually put an entry in here rather than another survey or whatnot. I've just been boring recently. :P Last night, I did end up cutting out early (not before getting a nice hug from someone special, that sorta made my day...), and made my dizzy way to the bookstore, where I picked up George RR Martin's A Game of Thrones upon the request of fallenicon. Or order, rather. "Brandy, you must go get this book RIGHT NOW!" I started reading it last night, but was too sleepy to get more than two chapters in to it. I ended up falling asleep at about 11, and sleeping til 10 this morning. Weird. Possibly another side effect of the new meds. Today has been blah. Payday, work, and that's it. Work ends in 17 minutes and counting. I just want to go home and eat the rest of my subway sandwhich and eat some chocolate ice cream. I feel so pathetic today, and I don't know why. I do know that I really really want a papasan chair. Badly. I have zero space in which to put it, but I really really want it. I keep day-dreaming about curling up in one with the fat kitty and reading and having a cold dew or something on a little end table nearby. Just sounds so cozy. Meh. Ok, maybe I'll actually have something interesting to say later. I certainly don't now. post comment

my own little music survey [10 Aug 2001|07:15pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | (in my head) Depeche Mode, Just Can't Get Enough ] Ok, if Troll can make up a music survey, I can too. Since my favorite numbers are 7 and 3, there will be seven questions that each need three answers. Not one, not two. Five is right out. 1. What three songs describe *you*? Not your favorite songs or anything like that, but the YOU songs. Siouxsie and the Banshees, the last beat of my heart. The Sisters of Mercy, temple of love. Tori Amos, bells for her. 2. What three CDs would you take with you to a desert island? Why? The Sisters of Mercy, Floodland, because I could listen to it a thousand times and not get tired of it. U2, Achtung Baby, because it's my favorite CD ever. Sarah McLachlan, Surfacing, because it is one of the most beautiful CDs I own, and I don't think I could grow tired of listening to it, either. 3. Which three singers/bands would you like to meet the most? Why? Tori Amos, because I have been near-obsessive about her for almost 10 years now. Bono, because even at his age, he is one of the sexiest men I've ever seen (Lindy says it's because he oozes talent from every pore. I agree). David Bowie, because he is like an Icon or something, and it would be a shame not to meet him if I had the chance. I would *not* want to meet David Gahan, just for the simple fact that I think I'd faint the moment I heard that *voice* coming out of him that close to me... *le sigh* 4. What three CDs would you buy for the first three friends / associates / family members that come to mind, and why? For Troll, Rasputina's How We Quit the Forest, because I know he'd appriciate the beauty of it. For Tery, Concrete Blonde's Still in Hollywood, because I know a lot of those songs would mean a lot to him. For Manda, NIN's Sin single, so she could have "get down make love", which I know she'd love to hear. (assuming she hasn't already...) 5. If I gave you money, what three CDs would you buy right now? The new Peter Murphy album, which I think is now out, NIN's the Fragile, which I still don't have, and the Stigmata soundtrack. 6. My heart has been broken. What three songs would you make me listen to? Why? Tori Amos, Hey Jupiter, because it so sad and beautiful and it's gotten me through *so* many breakups and low points, etc, that I think it just speaks "heartbroken" to people. U2, Love is Blindness, because it's a good sad song for when you just want to be SAD. The Cure, Prayers for Rain, because it is a good plain ol' fucked up misery song. 7. You are so happy! You just got the job / promotion / contract / whatever. What three songs will be the first you listen to? And One, Panzermench. Wolfshiem, Sparrows and the Nightengales. Depeche Mode, Never Let Me Down Again. 1 comment|post comment

sorta poll.. [09 Aug 2001|03:17pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | (in my head) Garbage, Milk ] Snagged from trystbat that looked interesting: What is your favorite curse word? -- Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? -- painter What profession would you not like to participate in? -- Fast food again. What turns you off? -- Stupidity What sound or noise do you love? -- Thunder What sound or noise do you hate? -- the sterobabble at work What is your least favorite word? -- disk space. I can't say it right, it always comes out disks space. What is your favorite word? -- Apotheosis If there is a heaven, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive? -- "You were right! The library is that way." --- Trying the new headache medicine. Good news - my headache vanished within about 20 minutes. The bad news...everything is swimming. I can see why they say one of the side effects is dizziness. Right now, I have dizziness in spades. I hope that this dizziness doesn't last all day or anything, it's making it sort of hard to work. I would go home, but boss-man is out today so I'm running things again. When I talked to him this morning he said he'd come in if he could find someone to watch his kids. Hopefully he can find someone. If he does come in, I'm outta here. post comment

I talk too much, don't I? [08 Aug 2001|10:05pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Black Adder on BBCA ] *yawn* a bit groggy at the moment, got the sleepies all of a sudden, but I need to write stuff. My weekend is going ok so far. Yesterday I got together with Alchemy and we took my car in to get new tires. Ended up spending more than I was planning, but it was ok. I needed them far more than the other silly stuff I would have spent that money on. After we dropped my car off, we took her car and headed downtown to do the shopping that we missed out on last week. I got everything that I had planned on, and the rest of the stuff needed for the angel/devil swap. I got a huge blue fabric with celtic patterns on it, it fits perfectly over my sliding glass door. No more damn annoying blinds. It's a bit thin, but it doesn't let in a whole lot more light than the blinds did, and it's now a blue-tinted light, and I can live with that. It looks very pretty in the corner of my apartment, too. We went to wal-mart after that, looking for a dvd player and replacement dishes. I found some really nice glossy heavy black dishes for $10...way more dishes than I was expecting for way less money. Yay! :) I didn't end up getting a dvd player, tho. They didn't seem to have *any* in stock, and they didn't even have the one I had wanted from the webpage on display. I think I'll hit best buy or circuit city later this week and see if I can find one. If not, I could always order it from the webpage. After that, back to pick up my car. I freaked out here, because when I turned my car on, the "check engine" light came on and wouldn't go off. I drove home, which was only a few block away, and everything seemed fine. I've driven my car twice since then, and it hasn't come on, but I'm still a bit worried. I emailed a car-smart friend of mine, we'll see if he thinks I should take it in to the dealership. Last night, late, I *cleaned*. I put on Shakespeare in Love and then just couldn't sit still. So I cleaned and cleaned, and then put dishes in the dishwasher and set that going. I had enough dishes leftover to do another load afterwards, but for some reason I just couldn't wait, and I went through and washed the rest by hand. *Very* unusual thing for me to do. But at least my apartment is fairly presentable now. :) *sigh* I didn't get that much of my to-do list done. Tires and dishes, check. I can probably get the CD songs and packages for Manda and Troll together tonight. The rest just sort of fell through... Oh, I know why. Cause firstly, I went to the doctor today about my headaches. Nothing serious, he thinks. He doesn't think I need to see a neurologist and get a cat scan or mri just yet. He did give me a perscription for medicine for tension headaches, and have blood taken to do a full bloodworkup done, just to make sure there isn't anything else going on. He also said to drink more water and eat less cheese, and that my birth control might be causing it (tho he did admit that after being on it for almost 4 years, that wasn't likely). My arm hurts from getting the blood taken, though. I have teensy-tiny veins, and my arm is already bruising from where they were just looking for the damn things, much less the nice blue bruise that is developing from where they stuck the needle in. Small veins + bruise easily = unhappy blood-giving experiences. Secondly, I got together with a girl from work to make up a game / morale booster for our team. It involved poster paint, styrofoam, and thin wooden dowels. Neither one of us is crafty or anything, but we had a lot of fun. The result is being called the "concept stage" of the project, but hopefully it will inspire the bosses' boss to give us actual money to make a bigger and better one (and get other people who know what they're doing to make it). It was very fun though. Going through the craft store was the best part, because I saw several crafty things that I, the anti-crafty, might actually be able to do. Hello, christmas presents! Also, they had a TON of nifty-neato halloween stuff out and about already. I need to go back there after payday and stock up! Ohhh! My pink bag came today! Normally, I *hate* the color pink, but lately I just can't get enough of it. I bought a pink latex spiky and silver canvas bag from Technokitty. The service was super quick and wonderful, and Lucy is super-duper nice on top of that. And it's peenk! I know, sick and sad...but irresistable! I don't know what to do with myself...first a pink plaid skirt, now this. What is the world coming to? Ok, enough rambling in here. I need to work on my Sleeping Beauty story, so I'll go do that. post comment

troll's little music survey [08 Aug 2001|10:36am] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | U2, Mysterious Ways ] All-time Favourite CD's : Tori Amos, from the choirgirl hotel; U2, Achtung Baby; Depeche Mode, Violator CD's to workout to : I don't currently work out to CDs, but if I did, I'd say Nine Inch Nails, Pretty Hate Machine; Tool, Aenima; Sisters of Mercy, Floodland CD's to fall asleep to : The Cure, Disintegration; U2, Achtung Baby CD's to wake up with : Moulin Rouge Soundtrack; Rasputina, How We Quit the Forest; U2, Achtung Baby Sexiest CD's : Sisters of Mercy, Floodland; And One, Virgin Superstar; Enya, Memory of Trees CD's to help with Heartache : U2, Joshua Tree; Tori Amos, Boys for Pele; Concrete Blonde, Still in Hollywood; the Cure, Disintegration CD's to sing along with : Depeche Mode, Music for the Masses; U2, All That You Can't Leave Behind, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack; Tori Amos, from the choirgirl hotel Most Artistic CD's : Tori Amos, To Venus and Back; Depeche Mode, Songs of Faith and Devotion; Rasputina, How We Quit the Forest Oldest CD you Own : U2, Achtung Baby Newest CD you Own : Switchblade Symphony, Sinister Nostalgia; Sarah McLachlan, Solace post comment

mermaid [07 Aug 2001|01:16am] Before my world collided with yours, my life was simple. I lived in a quiet, serene blue world, underwater. My days were spent swimming through the cool, deep waters; my nights dreaming of the lives I had lived before. Simple, but I was not happy. Then one day, I was swimming with my sisters. We were playing a hiding game with a school of fish when your net descended and captured me. I struggled and tried to fight my way out of the net, but it was useless. Soon the net pulled me up into the harsh sunlight that shines in your world. Normally the bundle of fish would have been unremarkable, but your keen eyes went right to me. You cut open the net, and out onto the rough deck we spilled, my fishy co-prisioners and I. You made your way to me, as the rest of the crew stood paralyzed. You turned me over and I felt your rough fisherman's hands on my shoulders, my face, my wet hair. I could open my eyes enough to see the shocked expression on your face. Upon seeing your face, true pain hit me. Your eyes, they were the eyes that had gazed upon me through countless dreams. Your soul stared out at me, tortured. I wonder, did you realize it was me? That we are tied together, soul to soul, from one lifetime to another? I was dying. This lifetime was not one that would be lived with you at my side. There was something I could do about it, though. Something to hasten our next meeting. Daughters of the sea are direct decendants of Posiden, and with that comes some magic. Death-magic is the most powerful of these. As I felt the life fade from my body, I invoked the power of the sea, and felt the storm brew. It was a vicious storm, and I knew that you would be a victim of it within the hour. Cruel? To end your life so near mine, so that we could be reborn together and have another chance at happiness? Perhaps. However, I think it was more cruel of Fate to seperate us so, to make us in this lifetime born enemies. I would rather incur the wrath of you, my lover, my life, than to let you go on in this lifetime without me. For we are tied together, and without each other we can never know true happiness. So here we are, in the blackness that we suffer through before being reborn yet again. I can feel the tug of life on me already. Soon we will both leave here and be returned to earth, to play out our dramas and fight to find each other again. Yet now, for this moment, I am happy. For now, we are together. post comment

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