Smartania.com's LiveJournal

Subject:	Sorry
Time:	7:59 pm.
Mood:	awake.
Music:	The hard drive fan.

I'm so sorry I haven't made an entry in so long. *sigh*. I've been so busy on my journey to spiritual enlightenment. And unfortunately, The Church of The Enlightened Goddess recommends minimal internet usage, because it's bad for my aura.

1. What is your full name? EEE PEE KAY

2. Marilyn Manson or Destiny's Child? THAT YOU SHOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK!!! WHO'S THE GOD OF FUCK??? WHO?? WHO?? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?? SAY IT!!! SAY IT, BITCH!

3.When was the last time you showered? What's the date today?

4.What song are u listening to right now? I don't know. Does U have a musical preference? Did U ever lern to speel?

5.What was the last thing that you said? GOOD GOD, WHY THE FUCK DID I SWALLOW?

6. What is next to you right now? A goat head.

7. What is your computer desk made of? Goats.

8.What are the last 4 digits of your phone number? F-U-C-K

9.What was the last thing that you ate? Goat cheese.

10.If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
DINGDINGDINGDING!! This wins the prize as the GAYEST QUESTION EVER!!!

11.Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? You assume I haven't already been on a honeymoon, therefore you assume that everyone in existence is under 20, don't you, you pimply, pre-pubescent, hormonal fuckwad?

12.Who do you want to spend the rest of your life
with? Russel Crowe.

13. Do you have a lava lamp? My mind is reeling ffrom the inanity of that question.

14.How many buddies do you have on your list? TEEHHEE! I HAVE SO MANY KEWL INTERNET FRIENDZ ON MY BUDDY LISST BECUZ I M POPULR ND KEWL!! LOLOLOLOL!!!1!!

15. How is the weather right know? LEARN TO SPELL, YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON.

16. Have you ever smoked pot? NO! That's just something BIG SCARY REBELLIOUS 13-year-olds do!!!

Plus, Jesus says it's bad.

17.What did you do last night? Murdered a family of four.

18. Last person that you talked to on the phone? My parole officer.

19. What are things that a boy/girl would have to
have for you to go out
with them?

ALL of these surveys are made by people under 14, aren't they? AREN'T THEY??????????

20. Who do you admire? Anyone who has gotten through this survey without committing mass homicide.

21. Fave actor/actress? Richard Simmons.

22. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I DID, UNTIL SHE SENT IT TO ME. THEN I KILLED HER, AND LEFT HER CARCASS FOR THE VULTURES.

23.How are you today? Suffering from PSSD. Post Survey Stress Disorder.

24.fAVE m&m;? You have GOT to be kidding me.

25.Who makes you happy? Goats.

26. Fave CD? "Goats at Dawn", with Yanni and Enya.

27.Dream date? DIE.

28. Nicknames? The Boston Strangler, Son of Sam, the Zodiac Killer, ah.. oops, my therapist said not to get my fantasies mixed up with reality.

29-31. age, hair color and eye color? Just... fuck off.

32. fav. color? BLOOD RED, LIKE THE BLOOD OF PEOPLE WHO WRITE SURVEYS.

33. Do you wear contacts? GNRH.

34.Siblings and their age? BLA.

35.Who do you consider to be your close friends?
ANYONE WHO HAS NOT EVER WRITTEN A SURVEY LIKE THIS.

36.What do you like to do? Mock stupid people like you.

37. What was the best advice ever given to you?
"Don't ever fill out online surveys."

38.Dream car? A HEARSE. OR A TRAILER SO I CAN TAKE MY GOAT WITH ME WHEREVER I GO.

39.Have you ever won any special awards? I got off on parole early for good behaviour!

40.What do you want to be when you grow up? Oh shut up, you underage twit.

41.What are your future goals? Never filling out another survey. Killing more people who write surveys.

42. fave music? I TOLD YOU WHO THE GOD OF FUCK WAS! DIDN'T YOU LISTEN??? DIDN'T YOU???

43. Favorite food? Babies.

Is this going to end soon?

44.Who is the funniest person that you know?
Bruce. He's so hilarious when he sticks that banana up his... nevermind.

45. Fave movies? Anything that does not star Gwyneth Paltrow.

46.Fave mini-series? "How to murder a survey writer in 6 easy steps"

47.fave month? WHAT KIND OF A SUCK-ASS QUESTION IS THAT?

48.Fave girls perfume? ICK.

49. Fave guys cologne? Eu de Goate.

50.Do you like to dance? No. I'm old, and have achey knees.

That's all for now! Until next time, remember: Peace, love, and keep your aura shining! I WUV U ALL! @---/----- <3

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	ohgodohgodohgod
Time:	10:09 am.
Mood:	aggravated.
Music:	Marilyn Manson claims to be the God of Fuck again today....

Name: Your mama

Age: Old

Where u from?: Between t and v, you fuck...

THE WORD "YOU" is ONLY TWO MORE LETTERS LONG THAN "U". WHY EVEN FUCKING BOTHER? WHY? What is the sound of one hand clapping? Why is the sky blue?
If a tree falls in a forest...

Nicknames: EPK, UberBitch, Killer of People Who Make Up Stupid Surveys

**what is your FAVORITE.....

I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY JOY.

1. Nsync member?: The gay one (Jebus, save me now)

2. Boy Band?: Preferably one where all the members are dead (God, this hurts)

3. Reality Show?: "People who Send Online Surveys Meet Horrible, Bloody
Deaths at the hands of Dobermans!"

4. Game Show?: "Pin the Nuclear Warhead on the Twit who Wrote the Survey"

5. Place to think?: You don't even know what thought is, you git.

6. Board game?: The one where you hit stupid people (like people who
make these surveys) over the head with a two-by-four.

7. Grade of school?: I love how these insipid pieces of crap
never assume that anyone over the age of 16 exists.

8. BSB member?: I LURRVE NERYS BCUZ SHE IS MY FRIEND ND SHE
Z KEWL!!

9. Disney Channel original movie?: Goofy gets an anal probe.

.. Wait.

10. Color to wear?: TEEHEEE! I LIEK PINK!!!

11. Department store?: Oh god. Please, just die.

12. do you prefer clear pop or brown pop?: This question is far more
interesting if you add an extra "o" to "pop".

** Would you rather......??

1. Have sex with an 80 year old or never have sex for
the rest of your life?: You don't even know what sex
is, do you?

2. Be hung or Drown?: FEEL the level of depth in this question! HAHA! I am
so clever! I shall ask people which form of death they would prefer
becuz that iz just so deep n stuff! How about this, git? I'd like to die
after earth shattering sex with Hugh Jackman.

3. Go blind or go deaf?: WY DOES EVERY FUCKING STUPID
PRE-PUBESCENT MORONIC INTERNET SURVEY HAVE THIS QUESTION?

4. Win $2,000 or spend the day with anyone you want?:
Give me the cash, fucker.

5. Be on "Becoming" or be on that show thats like
"youre on MTV"?: I must be really old, for these things matter
exactly diddly fuck all to me.

6. Catch your parents "in the act" or catch someone
elses parents?:

OH DEAR GOD.

I am probably OLD enough to be your parent. What does
that tell you?

Get laid and then we'll talk.

7. Get an STD or get Pregnant?: You have probably never even seen
a member of the opposite sex naked, you drooling, acne-ridden
pre-pubescent geek. Fuck off.

8. Be locked in a room with your least fav. person for
24 hours or listen to your least fav. song over and
over for 24 hours?:

Since the likelihood of my ever having to make this
choice, or of this question ever meaning something important,
is exactly zilch, I don't think I'll answer it.

**What is the FIRST thing that comes to mind when you
hear the word ______?

evil: survey

blonde: fuckboy

syrup: celine dion

sleeping bag: the person who made this survey when she goes to
bed at night

sea shell: sea shells by the fucking seashore

crayons: up yours.

pinecone: that would hurt

cut: your head off

taxi: run you over

retro: aaah... fuck. Nothing comes to my mind when
I hear the word "retro"

egg: head

war: people who write surveys die violent, bloody deaths.

**Associate the following colors with people you know:

Red: My face when I encounter surveys like this

Pink: BRITNEYYYY!!! BECUZ SHE IZ SO CUTE!

Purple: That guy I killed last week

Black: My heart

White: goats

Green: goats

Blue: goats

Gray: goats

FUCK, THAT SUCKED.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	POSITIVITY!!!
Time:	9:00 am.
Mood:	high.
Music:	Chanting Tibetan Monks.

I have found new enlightenment in life. I've been meeting with some wonderful people and they've made me realize that my life is a sham, and that all of this negativity breeds hatred and puts my inner aura in distress. I've read The Celestine Prophecy and suddenly life has new meaning! I'm going to go on a pilgrimage to Tibet to search my own soul and the world around me for the Tenth Insight, the Way To Spiritual Enlightenment.

Life is beautiful! Remember, send that positive energy OUT! If you don't send positive energy out, the world will feel it and negative things will come your way! Think positive, do some chanting, get some ear coning done, and follow these daily affirmations to begin your road to positive, spiritual enlightenment.

1. I am wonderful
2. The world responds to my positive energy
3. Nevative Nancys can't touch me and bring me into their hateful little world
4. I love all people.
5. The path to spirtual enlightenment is within me
6. Goats are god.
7. I don't want to bother that Manatee
8. When I die, I will ascend to another plane of Spiritual Knowledge.
9. Hugh Jackman loves me.
10. Fucking goats is something that bad, evil, hateful people do.
11. I shouldn't say fuck, no I shouldn't say fuck, fuck no.

You see how easy it is? Just repeat these ten daily affirmations
every morning before you head out to the goat farm, and you'll
notice changes immediately! Remember: POSITIVE ENERGY!!!
You'll thank me for it.

I'll be giving a seminar on spiritual oneness next Tuesday, in
the Smartania Goat Barn.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Survey-Warning, Cranky Nerys
Time:	11:32 pm.
Mood:	cranky.
Music:	2nd Gladiator CD for Zimmer & Gerrard RULE..

Who are you?
This was originally intended as an email survey. The sort that makes you want to dive into your monitor, find the git who sent it to you, and hand feed their entrails to Satan's lapdog. Regardless, as an email survey, YOU WOULD FREAKING THINK THAT THE FACT THAT IT WAS SENT FROM AN EMAIL ADDRESS WOULD GIVE YOU SOME SORT OF FLAMING CLUE, YOU MINDLESS MORONIC TURD! *whew* I'm starting to feel better here. Venting agression good! Let's continue!

1) First of all, how old are you?
Between the ages of born and not quite dead. Does this have some true bearing? Oh no! You're not between the ages of 11 and 29! You suck! I have fear! Ask a valid, frelling question.

2) Do you believe in reincarnation?
Only when referring to things that have come back to life in my refrigerator. But, I see now. This survey was crafted by a suave, oh so clever teenager who wishes to flout their underage brilliance with such deep mystical questions. Here's a freaking thought, my little pimple bedecked friend, if I'm dead-what in the blue hell do I care if I've been alive before or might be alive again? If I'm alive (and I'm far too bitchy this evening not to be) why would I waste my time pondering previous lives instead of living the one I find myself in? You are born with life. Use it, moron.

3) Would you rather be deaf or blind?
Oh dear, the DEEP things that are being asked here. I feel as though I must penetrate the very reaches of my soul for this one. Life does not come with choose your own impairment. If you are to be suddenly struck down with some kind of handicap, do you really think God is going to be one the sidelines shouting "Okay now, choose! You get to pick! Sightless or deaf! Make it a good one!" The goats are better than this.

4) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do?
Well, considering that I'm an adult and not a messed up little sheltered git who thinks such things would matter, I wouldn't do shit. The very fact that this question was asked is why there's so much freaking out over sexuality. EWW! GAY! EWW! HETERO! People who step up to show just how PC they are, on the other hand, are even worse. SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE GAY PEOPLE! I AM SUCH A GOOD HUMAN! Do you really think anyone that's gay gives a good god damn about how politically correct you are? I doubt it. Here's one. What would you do if your best friend was heterosexual? If that seems like a stupid question to you and the previous one does not, I suggest you ask mommy if you can go out and mingle outside of your church group.

5) Do you consider yourself a good listener?
I'm hearing Russell Crowe on my 2nd Gladiator CD quite well, thank you for asking such a retarded question!

6) Would you rather be short or tall?
Again you assume that I have any say in the matter. I wanna be as tall as the twees and as tiny as a widdle mouse. Freaking stupid.

7) Would you rather be overly happy and poor, or overly wealthy and
happy?

The rich are NEVER happy. The Poor are NEVER unhappy. And who in their right mind would choose to live in poverty? Have you any concept of poverty? At all? Didn't think so. Again, moron.

8) Would you consider your relationship with your parents bad, okay,
good?
You're still in high school and this is a very important question to you, isn't it? Here's a thought, my parents are none of your concern.

9) Do you like to dance?
An, iffin' ya do, wouldja dance wif me at the big homecoming dance? PWEEEASE. I'm going to start listening to Russell more than I pay attention to this fekking thing.

10) Are you shy to ask someone out?
Are you aware that words are missing from this sentence and that if you truly intend to spam the holy blue frell out of people that you really should edit the damned thing first?

11) Do you like to talk on the phone?
Hint: phone not so important as social interactive device past age 14.

12) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv?
Notice how nothing about stimulating your mind is mentioned here. Notice that destroying the earth and praising the goat god was forgotten. Notice that there was no mention of stroking the leather bound buttocks of Ben Browder. Notice that the creator of this survey probably did it in Math class.

13) What's your dream honeymoon place?
I'm gonna go for broke here and say.....I've never thought about it because the concept of making a marriage (you know, that whole life long commitment thing) is too important to waste with details about where you get to send postcards from to impress all your widdwe fwiends.

14) What would be the first thing you'd change about yourself?
What ever spontaneous urge drove me to fill out this fekking survey. Oh yeah, and that whole drinking blood thing. Man, that's just GOT to stop! (Okay, I'm being sarcastic rather than scathing. I DO BELIEVE I'M FEELING LESS CRANKY! LIGHT OF ROME! I LOVE THIS SONG! WOOOOO!)

15) Do you think boys or girls have it easier?
You don't know shit about the opposite sex or very much about your own, do you?

16) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you
go?
20 minutes ago, when I started this survey. "Nerys, don't do it. My poor child. Just beat the wall. It'll hurt your hand, but ultimately is a much quicker way to vent your bitchiness. And psst! Your tape ran out."

17) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
Same thing we do every day, Pinky, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

18) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]?
Do you know how much this doesn't matter in life and that the fact that you view sneakers as a status symbol is making some shoe company cackle with glee?

19) If you could change your name, what would it be?
Something, like, really cool, that would make all of the kids in your school just like, you know, want to be ME!

20) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh?
If I'm ever the only one in a theater that's not crying, I might shout in triumph, but that's about it. Stupid question.

21) Have you ever thought you were going to die?
Right around the fourth or fifth question, I did.

22) What's the hardest thing about growing up?
Dealing with idiots like you that think growing up is the HARDEST THING THAT THERE IS IN LIFE!

23) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Would you ever?
It's the net. Who fweakin' cares?

24) What little unknown talents do you possess?
The ability to tolerate this survey.

25) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?
What did the crickets do to you?

26) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would
you do?
This saturday, I can thank you. It's the beauty of being an adult.

27) What's the worst word(s) you know?
SURVEY

28) If there would be one thing about yourself that you could change,
what would it be?
Didn't we have this question? My tendency to want to do this fecking survey already!

29) Have you ever wanted to run away? Run where?
Yes, to Moya where there's a second John Crichton with no Aeryn. Jesus. Fantasy, just like that stupid question!

30) What's your worst fear?
this survey

31) What is your dream car?
status symbol thing again.

32) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
I'm an adult.

33) Have you ever felt you were in love?
Have you ever passed through puberty?

34) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would
it be?
The one who could get me off of it, you dork.

35) What is your favorite color?
*sigh*

36) What guy/girl do you want more than anyone else?
You don't know them and when I do, I'm NOT TELLING! AHA!

37) If you could be any animal what would you be?
I have to say goat. It's in my contract.

And there was a stupid amount of questions following this. Like until 50 with two lists of 15 likes and hates. I truly went insane at the thought of finishing it. I just did. I'm going away now to the land where Russell speaketh and looketh like a hot man with long, soft, red hair. *DIES*

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	I LIEK 2 DO TEH SURVEYYZ!!!
Time:	12:34 am.
Mood:	accomplished.
Music:	Marilyn Manson "Antichrist Superstar".

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS

Alternative.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

The Satanic Bible.

3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

An unknown, crusty substance.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

The kind where you hit small children repeatedly with large pieces of wood...

...OH, you didn't mean THAT kind of board!

Ooops.

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?

MARY KATE AND ASHLEY!!!!!!!!!!~!~~!!@

6a. FAVORITE SMELLS?

The pungent aroma of rotting flesh.

Goats.

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?

You.

7. FAVORITE SOUND?

The bleating of a youthful goat at dawn.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?

Getting caught.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING?

Why does my ass hurt?

10. FAVORITE COLOR

THE BLACKNESS IN MY SOUL.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?

I don't answer the phone unless its my parole officer.

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?

Darksyde Soulcrusher, mistress of the dark.

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

Goats.

14. FAVORITE FOOD?

Did you ever see "Alive?"

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?

Goats.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?

Goats.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?

Goats.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY

Goats.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?

Confiscated.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE?

I'd prefer to meet them alive.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?

DRINK IS URINE FROM THE LAST LEPER IN HELL!

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

The goat.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?

If only you knew what I eat the stems of.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB AT ALL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Goat herder.

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Kind of a goaty gray.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Goats.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

SHUT UP. I HATE YOU.

28. FAVORITE MOVIES?

How the Goat stole Christmas.
Sheepless in Seattle.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?

NO. I TYPE WITH A KEYBOARD.

28. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?

The mailman.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?

1-900-DIAL-A-GOAT

30. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?

Goats.

31. SAY ONE THING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT
THIS TO YOU.

NO.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	Wow!
Time:	11:00 am.
Mood:	nauseated.
Music:	The little elves in my head.

It's been so long since I've posted in here. I'm sorry to all of those who hang on my every word and just can't get enough of the details of my life.

Today was interesting. I went to the store and bought some toilet paper. The lock on the driver's side door of my car doesn't work quite right. Isn't this fascinating? It made me weep and I kicked in the car door because I was so frustrated. I guess I need to see my therapist again.

For your reading pleasure, HERE IS ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL SURVEY BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SO.

(actually, this is quite possibly the worst online survey I have ever seen, though these things are generally measured in sheer horridness anyway.)

1. What's the worst book you've ever read? -- TEH LORD OF THE FLIES! I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT!!!

2. What is the worst movie you've ever seen? - OMG!!!!!!! Saving Private Ryan was, like, soooooo icky gross!!! ew ew!!!!

3. Which TV show do you find the most offensive
-- "Survivor," "Boot Camp," "Friends," "Antiques
Roadshow" or "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"? - They all make me want to run out and kill babies.

4. What is your most embarrassing obsession? -- Running out and killing babies.

5. Have you ever hated someone? -- I hate the person who made this survey.

6. Did you ever act on that hate? What did you
do? - I told them I hated them. Then I got a knife. The last thing I remembered was bloody entrails everywhere and sirens.

7. What's the wrong insult you can think of? -- You are stupid and are lacking grammar skills.

Have you ever used it? - If applicable, like above.

8. What's in your medicine cabinet? -- You really are a nosy little fuck, aren't you?

Nail polish, eyeliner, and glitter! TEEEHEHEHEEHEHEEE!!!

9. Spit or swallow? -- Swallow and chase with diet pepsi.

10. What's the most annoying thing about your
boss? - He doesn't like it when I beat the shit out of my co-workers. I'll bet it's sexual descrimination. If I was a MAN he wouldn't be such a jerk to me!!

11. In high school, you were popular, jock, geek
or freak? - You're not out of high school yet, are you?

12. Have you ever farted in church? - I make a point of it, but the High Priest Sekmhet, Lord of Venemous Chaos, doesn't like it and it sometimes disturbs the animal sacrifices.

13. If you could get a (or another) tattoo, what
would it be? - My dark master, Satan.

14. Can you mash potato? Can you do the twist? - Please die.

15. Have you ever had sex with your socks on? - What are you, twelve?

16. Do you eat the stems of grapes? Flowers? - I LIEK 2 EAT TEH FLOWERS CUZ THEY MAEK ME FEEL FUNNY AND C PRETY COLOURS!!

17. Why did the chicken cross the road? - To get away from the goat.

18. Which color is the ugliest? - you.

19. Milli Vanilli or Vanilla Ice? - WHAT KIND OF A MOTHERFUCKING CHOICE IS THAT?

20. The lady or the tiger? - Is this like an ink blot thing?

21. Dick or cock? - You mean which one makes the writer of this survey sound more like a kid trying to talk like a big person?

22. Pussy or cunt? - You are both.

23. Have you ever committed a crime? - I'm about to.

24. How many of the 10 commandments have you
broken? - All of them.

25. Paper or plastic? - Plastic is best for asphyxiation AND the transporting of dripping body parts.

26. It's a desperate situation - you must fuck
Mick Jagger, Wilem Dafoe, Janet Reno, Bea Arthur
of "The Golden Girls," Princess Diana's corpse
or George W. Bush. Who do you choose and why? -- Why does this sound like a pre-teen "truth or dare" game?

"OMG OMG OMG!! If you got paid a million dollars to screw the ugliest guy, ohmagod, WOULD you? TEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!" And get the mention of Princess Diana out of there, you heartless, tasteless piece of shit.

27. What cartoon character do you/did you most
fantasize about? - What's sad is that I have an answer to this question.

28. Who is/was your most embarrassing celebrity
crush? - The Queen of England.

29. If you could go back in time and murder one
person with no punishment inflicted on yourself,
whom would you kill? Also, same scenario, only
you can have sex with anyone in history - whom
would you fuck? - You're asking me to fuck dead people?

30. To be or not to be? - You are a git.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	EPK Has Adventures in Hell
Time:	9:17 am.
Mood:	scared.
Music:	Some idiot's car alarm.

(subtitle: EPK plays with the Random function a bit more. What will she find...?)

***
I am happy today,i think i may get back one of my best friends,i have really missed our relationship and am so glad that he is doing well.
the only problem some of my friends might think its a bad idea but i think i can just ignor them some of them dont count anymore because
when you give someone addvice and then go and do exactly what you told them not to it kinda cancels them out of the addvice dept.ya
know?? well i have to go towork now ....more later i'm sure.
**
4th of july night was grand. i went on beachside and then later that night i went to a
party *dewaynes house* and stayed the night there. [with brandy and kara] and
then.. woke up and went home. next night went back to dewaynes house and stayed
there again with cara and brandy. GOT KRUNK~@ :O n yeah. aw ree called me the
other night *waves* :] but yeah.. i also would like to say I HATE DAWSON -- little
boys who play games. die mkay~@ :\ anyways yeah. and lets see what else. but yeah
shits been pretty great until now so yeah~@ mhm bye kids<3
**

wtf is wrong with me. i feel so alone now. i wanna be fuckin held by my
girlfriend or *** Those r the only ppl i will let hold me. its been like this the
whole fuckin weekend. i wanted to be held by them. i hope i can see both of
them this week. i try to be happy but then i get depressed. and now i have this
emotion in me that i like *** more than a friend. i mean since i first saw her
i liked her more than a friend. i kno she doesnt love me back the way i love her
but i enjoy being in her company. i mean i luv my gf with all my heart and i
could prolly stand to luv her a little more but sumthin is holdin me back. i luv
spending time with ***.when she cuddles with me a warm feelin goes
through my body. but i also get that feelin if im around megan and shes goin
out with somebody. i dunno what the hell im gunna do. ill have to figure this
out later im too fuckin tired to rite now. sorry bout not capitalizing my
sentences. ill write more later. i really hope we can get together this week
***

I got roll of thunder hear my cry out of the library the other day. last time i read it i cried my eyes out. it
really is so sad. quite a lot of things make me cry but i never feel any better for it. its like im deep as the
ocean and im just shoving up flotsam whilst all this pain is still there. or that these are crocodile tears or
whatever. ive never really thoguht of writing how i feel on here but everyone else seems to. im not sure
how itll work because even when i tried to write a diary i lied in that saying that all these people at school
liked me or wutever wen they dont. ive never been popular. im always off with the fairies or imagining
stuff and i want to stop and try and live in reality but i cant because then ill have to face up to who i really
am and i dont think i can do that. i live in fantasy land but its not as nice as you'd think, wheneveri imagine
something nice happening to me after a while i feel really upset becus i know that nothing i imagine will
ever come true. i try to restrict wut im daydreaming about. making it totally unbelievable but i imagine
things that could easily happoen but after this i know they wont.

***

(EPK shot herself at this point.)

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Subject:	Because I know you all love me, and want to find out more about me!!!!!!!!!111!!!@
Time:	2:44 pm.
Mood:	weird.
Music:	"Logan and Rogue's Theme".

1. Who was the last person you yelled at?:
The little old lady who stole my seat on the bus. I think she died of a heart attack.

2. Who was the last person you kissed?:
Some guy on the street. His girlfriend looked at me funny.

3. What was the last memorable book you read?:
The Satanic Bible

4. When did you last dance?:
Before the amputation.

5. What's the last thing you want to hear from your parents?:
No, we're not going to bail you out this time.

6. When did you last go for a walk in the park?:
If I go within a 10 foot radius of my house, I get an electric shock.

7. When did you last do you ironing?:
I hit someone over the head with an iron the other day. Does that count?

8. When was the last time you smiled all day?:
When Bruce brought over that killer weed and we hotboxed my cell.

9. What color of socks do you normally wear?:
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? Jesus Christ on a goat.

10. Did you ever attend a private school?:
Does the one at the juvenile detention centre count?

11. Do you like stuffed animals?:
Only if the taxidermy is done right.

12. Have you ever smashed pumpkins?:
yes i wuz a little rebl when i wuz a kid! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!11!!!!

13. Do you read labels when shopping for food?:
My brain has siezed due to the sheer stupidity of that question.

"Hmm. This is shaped like cereal. Good enough." *throws in cart*

14. Can you quote Shakespeare?:
To be, or not to be. That is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune . Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them. To die. To sleep. No more. And by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consumation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep. To sleep? Perchance to dream! aye there's the rub.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!

Or something.

15. Do you like playing baseball?:
Baseball is the most moronic sport ever invented.

16. Are you a neat freak?:
SHE JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT THE FUCKING DISH TOWELS GO IN THE THIRD DRAWER FROM THE TOP, NOT THE FOURTH!! So I killed her.

17. What is the worst injury you have ever given someone?

See above.

18. Do you ever eat lemons plain?:
Do you pull questions straight out of your ass or do you have to take a laxative first?
Does it hurt?

19. Have you ever fired a gun?:
*glances around furtively*

20. Do you own any knee-high boots?:
Just for the weekends when I work the corner of Elm and Main.

21. Are you attached to extreme people?:
WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

22. Do you like swimming in lakes?:
They are good for hiding the bodies.

23. Have you ever streaked at a football game or any other public event?:
*glances around furtively*

24. What is you favorite gemstone?:
Get away from me, you hippie freak.

25. Have you gone on many blind dates?:
Dates?

26. Has someone done something extra nice for you?:
No. Nobody loves me. My life is a deep, dark pit of despair, interspersed with moments of joy which only serve to drag me down deeper into this ever-blackening universe of death and decay.

I like pie!

27. Did you have a crush on any of your teachers?:
He didn't love me so I killed him.

28. Have you ever been lost in a bad part of a city?:
Does the street I live on count?

29. Would you rather have a mint or fruit flavored gum?:
Is this like an inkblot test? If I like fruit flavoured gum, does that mean I'm gay?

30. Do you have road rage?:
I have road RASH....

31. Have you ever eaten grass?:
*spews diet pepsi all over the computer screen*

32. Do you ever eat food right out of cans or jars?:
YES!!! I AM THE REBEL!!!!!!!!!! THE REBEL OWNS j00!!! w00t!!!!

33. Has your mind ever gone blank?:
Usually when answering fucking insipid questions like this.

34. Have you ever met anyone interesting at the laundry mat?:
Oh dear god. Just fuck off.

35. Do you have recurring dreams?:
YES. I have nightmares about ONLINE SURVEYS!!!! THEY HAUNT ME! TYHEY KEEP COMING INTO MY INBOX AND I TRY TO GET RID OF THEM BUT THEY JUST WON'T SSOPT! AND THEN THERE ARE THE INSECTS! OH GOD! THE INSECTS! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!! AIEEEE!!!! SJDASKLDJASDLKAJSDAIORUIEWKRJLEKOITREUH~!!!!!

36. Are you kind?:
I'm the fucking kindest person in the world, you ass fucking sack of shit. Suck me.

37. Would you give a needy person the shirt off your back?:
Only if I could be naked afterward.

38. Do you have any beanie babies?:
Yes. I love pink fluffy cutesy things. They are on my shelf next to the bunny heads and the goats.

39. Would you rather be hot or cold?:
COLD, LIKE TEH BLACKNESS IN MY HEART.

40. Is the glass half full, or empty?:
Are you an idiot, or just high?

41. Do you exercise or work regularly?:
Does getting out of my cell in the mornings count?

42. Could you kill if your life was threatened?:
You act like I need motivation to kill.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ROOLING SURVEYS BCUZ I KNOW U ALL WANT TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT ME!!!!!

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