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ADLAD

[ website | Metallica ]
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blah [12 Nov 2001|11:43am]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | AC/DC ]

Charlotte wants to go back out with me now that her b/f has dumped her. Why cant I escape her? Why do I still think about her at least 30 seconds every day? I cant go back out with her...after all she put me through? i'll never be able to trust her again. So im single now...not happy nor sad about it. I just want someone else now.

I nicked this from Manicdepression

Name: Adam Martin Kendall
Loc: Preston, Lancashire
Sex: Male
Dob: 02/12/85
Aim: take over the world hahahaha
Eyes: Brown
Hair: brown

[ Sex Stuff ]
Are you a virgin: Yes :(
Has anyone ever been down your pants: yes and me? too much!
How many times have you had sex: hmmmm...look at the first Q!

[-love-]
Are you in love: I dont think so
Do you have a bf/gf: did...have had lots
When did you start going out: month ago

[-friendships-]
Best friends: Wayne, Liam, Daniel, Louise
Good friends: Lindzi, steven, carrie, michelle, chris,

[-have you ever-]
Drank: yep
Smoked: yep
Kissed the same sex: yep
Kissed the opposite: not yet
Skinnydipped: not yet
Broke a bone: not yet
Failed a class: not yet
Thought you were gonna die: many times
Killed someone: not yet
Cried over a boy/girl: lots of times
Had a death in the family: Yes.
Ran around nude: only a few times
Talked on the phone for more then 5 hours: probably

[-status ; right now-]
Wearing: a KoRn issues T-shirt n sum combat pants
Eating: nothing
Talking to: no one
Phone with: you
Time: 12:02
Drinking: nothing
Listening to: AC/DC
In: My room.
----------
When was the last time you...
Smiled?: today
Laughed?: this morning at the dentist
Cried?: not for a while cant remember...couple of weeks ago i think
Bought something?: a bus ticket to my nanas
Danced?: this morning
Were sarcastic?: yesterday/everyday
Kissed someone?: last week
Talked to an ex?: yesterday (charlotte)
Watched your favorite movie? couple of weeks ago (Waynes world 1 or 2)
Had a nightmare?: lots
Last book you read: of mice and men
Last movie you saw: a dodgy low budget british movie
Last song you heard: AC/DC - back in black
Last thing you had to drink: pure orange juice
Last time you showered: 2days ago
Last thing you ate: Some kind of cerial last night
-------------
Smoke?: weed? yes. ciggerettes? sometimes
Have sex?: no :(
Sleep with stuffed animals?: use to
Live in the moment?: sometimes
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yes :( scary ones
Play an instrument?: guitar
Believe there is life on other planets?: somewhere
Read the newspaper?: nope
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: not that i know about.
Believe in miracles?: Not really.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: No!
Like the taste of alcohol?: bitter
Have a favorite candy?: any
Believe in astrology?: not really but i still read my stars...sad!
Believe in God?: I believe in a entity that draws living things together...Nature...if thats a god then yes.
Pray?: no
Go to church?: never
Have any secrets?: not really
Have any pets: My cat : sylvester
Do well in school?: OK
Go to or plan to go to college?: yep
Have a major?: nope
Wear hats?: never
Have any peircings?: not yet
Have any tattoos?: not yet
Have an obsession?: women and music and guitars
Collect anything?: CDs and women
Wish on stars?: i dont look out of my window
Like your handwriting?: no its crap
Have any bad habits?: yes...biting my nails, telling stupid little lies for no reason, being paranoid.
Care about looks?: yeh but not as much as you think

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All Mixed Up [07 Nov 2001|09:31pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | silence as my brain ticks over the thought of women/problems ]

I dont know what I'm doing. I dont wanna go out with mish anymore...I do but i dont. I dont think we get along so god really. Its always aqward talking to each other. But i still like her loads. Shes in spain so i cant really talk to her. Shes acting like shes not really bothered about me. I sent her an email kinda explaining what i feel. Messed up!

I wanna find someone i can really talk to about anything even just light conversation. its hard. All i want is the femail me...is that too much to ask?

Went to a college open evening. godda think what i am gonna do! i dont know!

Cant be assed with the band at the mo. Dunno why. Not such a good band practise the other day. I need to talk to Danni! just tell him all this shit! :(

ADAM

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Havn't written in for a while! [02 Nov 2001|08:12pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Joe Satrani ]

Hey. Havn't written anything in here for a while!

Still going out with Michelle. It will be 2 weeks on sunday. She goes on holiday to spain for 2 weeks tomorrow. I go to see Fear Factory tomorrow.

Everything with the band it ok! I watched PIKE the other night! they were really good!

I'm having lots of crazy dreams bout michelle dumping me, marilyn manson and metallica. ha.

SCHOOLS BEING A BITCH!

Gettin stoned tomorrow also!

ADAM

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We will put on a concert...oh yes...we will put concert... [25 Oct 2001|06:59pm]
[ mood | rushed ]
[ music | Anyone - the whole worlds Insane ]

We had band practise today an everything went well. Then later on we decided to invite a couple of friends to listen to us. Things went pritty wrong. My little finger was bleeding coz of my crap strings and chris fucked up the drumming. we need lots more pratising!! It wasnt very good. Later on i was asking people what they thought. They said it was ok. I dont know. But i really want my new strings and im in the mood for learning some new tunes. I really wanna get some good guitaring done!

ADAM

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I dont know anymore. [23 Oct 2001|09:37pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | Metallica - master of the puppets - track 7 (instumental) ]

So I've been going out with Michelle. Everything has been going absolutly great. But somethings not right and its not her...its me. I dont feel quite right. Theres something dodgy...i dont feel like she should go out with me. I dont think I'm right for her, I really like her and I want her to be happy and I love being with her. But I think it might be better if i didnt go out with her. I dunno. I still wanna though, Its so confusing. I remembered something as well...i wanted to see someone new. I should have taken the chance and gone out with colette. Thats gone now!
I'll keep going out with michelle and just wait until I'm sure that she'd be better off without me.

We had a band pratise today, but with no drummer. It was ok. I had a couple of cigerettes today. Dont know why. Felt abit sick after.

I wanna be single again...and my paranoia is back, well it never really left but it calmed down but i'm just ecpecting michelle to cheat on me. I feel quite misserable. I felt really good the last couple of days as well. Shame it never lasts :(

I just wanna get the band done n get going with it n be free. I feel upset n im not sure why.

Left my guitar at college...hope it doesnt get stolen. :S

ADAM

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STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!! [21 Oct 2001|04:13pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | slipknot - drop kick jesus ]

I'm not impressed! about 10 min after i got off the internet with Colette, mish comes and askes me out :(

SO i had to sent Colette this horrible e-mail telling her what had happened. She sent me this back...

hi adam

got ur excuse of a letter. will u do 1 thing 4 me & look in the mirror 2 c if u have mug written all over ur face as ur g/f is makin a fool out of u. if u really liked me then u wud of sed 2 ur g/f : "uve missed ur chance cos ive met somebody else" its not fair 2 giv the wrong inpression that ur free & single wen u have doubts about ur ex g/f & ur relationship- ur either finished with her or not. obviously u still like ur g/f because u av gone bak 2 her & the truth is u still like her & how can u start a new relationship with anybody till u av gotten over her. i think its a shame this had to happen as i thought u was a really nice guy & who i felt comfortable with. uve made ur decision & i hope ur happy with it.

Col x


:( thats not nice! and she really is nice! I really didnt want that to happen!

ADAM

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me sleepy-head [20 Oct 2001|08:55pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | :) Metallica - Memory remains :) ]

Last night Michelle asked me out :) but i didnt answer her until today and now she doesnt know if she does or dont! she said she does but shes confused! whatever!

Ive ruled out Nina as she didnt seem that interested today n i think she'd rather be my friend, makes a change!

I met this other girl today called Colette. Shes so sweet and innocent! :) so cute. well we got quite friendly n she really likes me i can tell. shes a little quiet though! Im meeting her on tuesday at 1! must not forget that!

ADAM

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[19 Oct 2001|10:56pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | FEAR FACTORY - DIGIMORTAL ]

VERY INTERESTING DAY YESTERDAY...

OK, Yesterday I tried my first illegal substance...it was this weird shit ive never heard of - "terri" - u smoke it with tobaco. Was quite good. I would try it again n i'm dying to get some weed :P got i sound like a drug addict or something :P hehe...not gonna happen!

CANT WAIT TIL FEAR FACTORY...2 WEEKS!
DIGIMORTAL RULES! :)

ADAM

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What to do, what to do, what to do? [18 Oct 2001|10:58am]
[ mood | complacent ]
[ music | Raging speedhorn - Thumper ]

OK heres the problem...

I like Nina and weve been texting each other all week. Its obvious that she likes me to because she texts me just to say things like goodmorning and what you up to? And she flirts abit. I WAS hoping that i'd meet her get to know her better and go out with her. I think she has the same idea.

BUT....

last night Michelle was showing an interest in me again. And she sent me an e-mail asking me if i had a girlfriend. I think she may ask me out. This causes a problem because I really do like her ALOT and REALLY wanna go out with her. BUT i also wanna go out with Nina.

I dont know what to do now.

Im sure it will work out. I HOPE.

ADAM

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LIST [13 Oct 2001|08:43pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | downloading...NANCY BOY - PLACEBO ]

ive made a list of things i want for my birthday and christmas...(dont worry im not expecting to get all of this...:P)

Leather trench coat
new guitar
bigger guitar amp
CDs
money
new clothes

well...theres loads more that i want...but its like one or the other...and i'd rather just buy them myself with money...but i need money n there very expensive...

mp3 player
new hifi/cd player

well...accually...i dont REALLY need a new cd player...:P thats just me being silly!

so im gonna narrow it down...

BIRTHDAY
Parents=MONEY
Grandparents=MONEY
Dad=MONEY

then i'll save it all up till after christmas...

CHRISTMAS
Parents=NEW GUITAR
Grandparents=MONEY
Dad=TRENCH COAT

and then i will decide what else i want when i have all the money....hehe.
Hope i have lots...hmmmm...but i NEED a bigger amp really...but i REALLY WANT a mp3 player.

I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!

ADAM

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rock it out! [13 Oct 2001|08:07pm]
[ mood | pleased ]
[ music | system of a down - sugar ]

I downloaded a new mp3 finder thingy...its just like napster was. Its called Grokster. Quite good. Not many songs I cant find on it. Downloaded a few kool ones the last couple of days...

andrew wk - party hard :) (i can now play this)
system of a down - sugar (so amusing)
danny warhols - bohemian like you (kool)
weezer - island in the sun (chill out!)
presedents of the USA - peaches (execellent, i can play this as well...it rules!)
tom green - the bum bum song (HA HA HA!)
celtic frost - revelations of doom (ohhh scary!)

:) so im happy about that.

I talked to this girl today...Nina. I knew her but hadnt really talked to her, she kool. I felt really relaxed and i could relate to her. I wasnt all nervous and i could just talk about anything to her :) i like that.

OK off to download more shit....

ADAM

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too tired to sleep [12 Oct 2001|10:33pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | ***The downloading of celtic frost*** ]

I just got back from Michelle's. I had to take her bike back from Monday. I really dont know where I stand. I really dont know if she likes me or she doesnt. She's the most confusing person ever...but lovely and gorgeous n sweet. I love being with her...I really do. I just want her to like me as much as I like her n I wanna go back out with her n live happily ever-after.

Nearly half term...Week n abit off school :) yey!

School really, really bites!

ADAM

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TAKE ONE, TAKE ONE MORE SHOT, ONE MORE SHOT AT ME! [11 Oct 2001|08:47pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | deicide - in torment in hell ]

I feel amaizing.

Apart from the little incident last night with michelle...I cried for a while last night...dont know why...I guess i have to let some shit out sometimes.

But we had a band practise today...

FUCKIN EXECELLENT!

It was so good! weve got this great song! and me and Chris (drummer) were like...*CROSSES FINGERS*...THIS!
we jus need some lyrics for it n then it'll be great!
Nothin beats the rush you get from making good music...even better than listening to great music! It just puts me in a very excellent mood! :) i am content.

ADAM

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CONVO... [10 Oct 2001|10:05pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | silent...(feels weepy) ]

convo between me n mish...(this convo has been edited so that it has only relevant stuff in it!)...

ADAM says:
i wanna tell u sumfin
MISH says:
what?
MISH says:
tell me
ADAM says:
im :( coz I really really really like u lots n lots n lots & i really wanna go out wiv u but i dont think u do n even if u did i dont think it wud b that gud coz i dont think i wud get 2 c u that much...so im :(!
MISH says:
o
MISH says:
erm
MISH says:
dont be
MISH says:
smile
MISH says:
be happy
ADAM says:
:(
MISH says:
:(
MISH says:
i really really like you but i dont wanna go out with you....not yet at least
MISH says:
cuz i dont wanna stuff it up like last time
ADAM says:
i know
ADAM says:
but im still :(
MISH says:
i love being with you
MISH says:
your ace
MISH says:
and make me happy
ADAM says:
really?
MISH says:
yes
ADAM says:
:)
ADAM says:
but im still :(!
MISH says:
thats better
ADAM says:
:P


LATER...


MISH says:
i like you loads and loads and loads and your ace to be with and your ace hehe
ADAM says:
u 2
MISH says:
and your totally a babe
ADAM says:
u2
ADAM says:
hehe :)
MISH says:
hehe


MUCH LATER...


MISH says:
it was cool other night when i come to urs

(then she quickly goes offline)

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A Night with Michelle and Band practise...:D [09 Oct 2001|08:46pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | WhiteZombie - electric head ]

This week is going...WELL! :D

Goddamn!

Monday (night with michelle)
this was very...:D...good! Michelle decided that she wanted to see me really soon, so she came to my house on monday after college/school. She stayed till 10. We talked n watched Beetle juice. I got off with her :D and i think we both had a very nice time :)
I really do like her lots n lots! :)
The only thing is i havent heard from her since...well yesterday...well...i guess thats not so bad...she hasnt been on the net or anything! I wont worry.

TODAY...
We had another lovely old band practise. We accually got something done! :D YEY! we got this cool Hendrix style soong thing goin. Pritty execllent if you ask me! :D

So I'm priity happy this week. So far! Its going well. I just want michelle to text message me saying hi or something, and then i'll be absolutly great.

ADAM

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tick, tock, tick tock, tick, tock, tick.... [07 Oct 2001|07:47pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Anthrax - got the time ]

GOOD NEWS...Booked the FEAR FACTORY tickets last night. YEY! thats execellent...talking about execellent things i think i'll just say again that this Anthrax CD completely rules. :)

Me n mish are pritty cool now. We both enjoyed being with each other yesterday and wanted to see each other again today, but the weather was too shit and i was at my dads house.

I also wanted to see Lindzi today. But i didnt even try and make any effort. Its weird...i really wanted to see Lindzi before but now that Michelle is back on the scene its like she comes first. I really do like her and i think she likes me just as much back...but shes not so forward :( but :) hehehe.

ANTHRAX RULE!
I cant stop doing that! :P

Me and waynes are like best mates again now. In fact im having a pritty good month so far...except the fact that...


WE'RE AT WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


Well anyway...i'll be back later!

ADAM

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I'M BACK... [06 Oct 2001|07:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Anthrax...fuckin ace CD! ]

OK. What a day. A good day...in some ways. Not so good in others. but in genral...good!

Last night I was talking to Michelle (ex) on the net (as usual). She said she got asked out by this guy. She said she didnt want to go out with him, I asked why...she said she liked someone else...I asked who...she said me?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...then why did she dump me?
Well anyway i met her today and walked into town with her. then we ended up spending the whole day together...kinda flirting. And she kept hinting that she still likes me and all this...? I dunno.
The only thing wrong with this is that i didnt really get to see Lindzi n i felt bad about that because she wasnt happy.

I bought ANTHRAX - MOSHERS 1986 - 1994...SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD! And Slayer - undisputed attitude.

I love this Anthrax CD! :)

For some reason Louise is really depressed...dont know why!

ADAM

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Tooth hurts! [04 Oct 2001|04:57pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | FEAR FACTORY - BACK THE FUCK UP ]

I'm off to the dentist tomorrow. Looks like i need a filling :( but i miss 4th period (business studies) :)

FEAR FACTORY - DIGIMORTAL is soooooo good! What would you say they were? Industrial?

*CANT TAKE ME APART*

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Extremely sore lil finger :( [03 Oct 2001|08:15pm]
[ mood | MIXED - okay, good, strange, ]
[ music | Mindfire - the burning ]

Just got back from the band practise. Hmmmmm...INTERESTING. I'm not sure what to think. I did feel like I didnt belong. I wanted to play like thrash/old skool metal type stuff. But Chris(drummer) has a completely different style so Me & Liam addapted and were kinda more grungy i guess. Not really my thing but it was pritty good music. My little finger is completly fucked though! Liam and Chris seemed to enjoy the music. I wasnt sure Chris liked me at all to begin with...he was really...well...i could jus sence this negative vibe pointed at me. He got better as it went on though. Not really what I expected you know, but we got something done. FINALLY.

Lindzi text messaged me. I was quite pleased about that coz i thought she'd gone off me abit or something. I also told Liam how I felt about her...he thought it was funny, hehe.

Apparently Emma rang for me while i was out (sez mum) erm well i dont really wanna talk to her that much. She has some serious issues. Shes a kinda stalker of people she fancies and makes up strange lies and alsorts. I feel kinda sorry for her. but i wish she'd stop the shit about me.

So today has left me pritty tired and sore. Ive still got a lil bit of homework to do...thats the last thing I wanna do now! :(

I stumbled across a website a couple of days ago...I cant remember what it was called it was about GFY (generation fuck you) it was quite interesting. Inspired me to write a song...but its too fucked up! its about the system, christianity, rasism, gay bashings, tax, etc, etc.

Me and my friends are back to normal now. It was all coz of charlotte and ive forgot about her now :) i really dont need her in my life. I am defintly over her now!!! YEY!

I want Lindzi...Cant wait to see her on Saturday.

I'm soooooooo sore. X-(

>_<

ADAM

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My PC is shaking from the powerful loud heavy guitar riffage of metallica :) [01 Oct 2001|07:30pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Metallica - Damage, inc. ]

:) I really dont give a shit about Charlotte anymore :) I'm so happy. Althought it could be temperery sean as I havnt seen for ages...I hope not. Even thought ive found out shes been with two of my best friends since i last saw her...its not bothering me. In fact I have been more friendly because its not bothered me. :) I DONT CARE.

I noticed today Lanna fancies me :S (the girl whos dad is the PIKE guy, who let us the drums n says hes going to record us) This isnt a bad thing really. Its just...i dunno. In a way its a good thing because, well obviously, now ive got an exellent link to her dad...hehe. She seems really nice. But i wouldnt go out her because shes a lil younger than me...well its not that really...just that shes abit younger than me and she goes to my school (i cant take much more shit). I'd flirt with her for fun though. haha.

Ive godda get my english homework done before wednesday coz then its band practise. I know I wont though. I hate that!

My guitar skills are forever improving. :) Im so old-school now! I wounder how this will affect the band...hmmmmm...we could be the new old metallica...hehehe.

Ive been texting Lindzi, I think now I'm more interested in her than she is in me...or maybe she just trying to play it down abit. well i cant wait to see her again.

All day I have been downloading songs and looking for MEGADETH guitar TAB.

GOD I WISH I WAS AS GOOD AS KIRK HAMMET...HES MY GOD! :)

Well I'm gonna check out my friends page so...bye!

ADAM

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