Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Artificial Sweetener's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 1st, 2001
9:23 pm	I Could Not Ask for More~Sara Evans Lying here with you • Listening to the rain • Smiling just to see the smile upon your face • These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive • These are the moments • I'll remember all my life • I found all I've waited for • And I could not ask for more • Looking in your eyes • Seeing all I need • Everything you are is everything to me • These are the moments • I know heaven must exist • These are the moments I know all I need is this • I have all I've waited for • And I could not ask for more • I could not ask for more than this time together • I could not ask for more than this time with you • Every prayer has been answered • Every dream I have's come true • And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be • Here with you here with me • These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive • These are the moments I'll remember all my life • I've got all I've waited for • And I could not ask for more • Chorus • I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for • And I could not ask for more • I could not ask for more Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)
Monday, October 29th, 2001
7:08 pm	Dedicated to Andrea H. ...be strong. Our prayers are with you. There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow But don't let anyone Tear them away Hold on There will be tomorrow In time You'll find the way And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Hero~Mariah Carey (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 25th, 2001
4:21 am	[Da Brat](Cameo) Yeah (Yeah oh) Mariah and Cameo sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G [Mariah](Cameo) Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh baby Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh baby (oh) Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh baby Whoo! 1 - I wanna, I wanna I wanna, I wanna I need a, I need a I need a, I need a I love a, love a I love a, love a A lover, a lover A lover, a loverboy [Ludacris] Maybe its the glitter on her breast Or the gloss on her lips? Hickeys on the chest Or the toss of the hips? I'm lost in the mix So I floss in the six Turning out the hits So I'm exhausted as s*** [Shawanna] Now baby it's the mo' paper, dough chaser Now get it right, would ya heartbreaker? I-I keep it tight but I'm no faker You can laugh now but you'll cry later [Ludacris] I think I like you in ya freak clothes Freak thongs at my specialized peep shows And then I'll make ya touch your knees to your elbows Toes curl from Beat Street to Melrose, the whole world [Shawanna](Ludacris) It's cool Cause See I like it when we smoked out, choked out Who's a freak b****? (No doubt) You kind of got me like a fiend When you call out Now get your boys for my girls We can roll out (Roll, roll out) [Mariah] I got myself a lover Who knows what I like When he invites me over I come every time And when my sugar daddy Takes me for a ride Whatever way we go It's delivered on time (Repeat 1 in background) He's all mine And his loving makes me high Like a taste of ecstasy All I need is him to be my loverboy 2 - [Mariah] Loverboy Come on and love me Give me more Touch me and touch me I enjoy the way you rock me all night long Loverboy Come on and take me Only you know how to make me Shudder with anticipation All night long [Mariah] I got myself a lover And he's so sublime It's quite a bit of heaven To feel him inside Cause when my sugar daddy Takes me for a ride Whatever way we go It's delivered on time {Repeat 1 in background) I get weak When he's gettin' extra sweet When he caressed my whole body All I need is him to be my loverboy Repeat 2 [Twenty II] Come on, yeah, uh Poor little, kind of innocent A vision of love You adore me, even though my image is thug [Da Brat] What I see in you is for my eyes only to see I bring out the freak in you Up and down on me I'm your lovergirl [Twenty II] Me your loverboy But when we home alone We become touch toys, making noise We can't avoid [Da Brat] The way I throw that, cat Pop back, drop Stop, watch, Brat-tat Get ya more rock, harder All of the things that you wanna do to me You oughtta We can get obscene My parina and your ding-a-ling Mingle bother me not When the sensation come out [Twenty II] Well come over, I'll make you scream Uh huh uh huh baby Feel me, when I pump, pu-pump lady Behind me we can be close like family You're so sweet you taste like all types of candy From Starburst to jellybeans [Da Brat] Banana split my dairy queen Butterfinger my tangerines Chickens only taste my Loverboy in they dreams Yeah all my ladies Let me hear you scream Hate on me as much as you want to You can't do what the f*** I do b****** be emulating me daily Hate on me as much as you want to You can't be who the f*** I be b****** be imitating me lately Current Mood: dirty Current Music: Loverboy remix~Mariah (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001
8:28 am	Reflections of your love Have come to wither I thought I’d done my best to memorize A picture fades of you and I together I haven’t come to terms With how we said goodbye Did you really care Care for me at all Did you really care Did you care for me at all A displaced little girl Wept years in silence And whispered wishes you’d materialize She pressed on night and day To keep on living And tried to many ways To keep her soul alive Did you really care Care enough for me Did you really care Did you care at all for me If I’m not quite good enough Or somehow undeserving of A mother’s love You could have had the decency To give me up Before you gave me life Don’t you even care Just the slightest bit for me Cause I really need to feel you cared Even once upon a time for me I need to believe, in my heart of hearts, you care for me I need to understand Why you left me there so helplessly Don’t you even care Care at all for me Reflections of your love Have come to wither I thought I’d done my best to memorize Current Mood: rejected Current Music: Reflections (Care Enough)~Mariah Carey (Comment on this)
7:10 am	It's my life..it's better left to chance I could've missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance..Love that song. *sigh* God I miss everyone...I want to move back so bad. I mean...I'll even stay with my dad, that's how bad I wanna move back. I went to my old school's game on Friday...saw all my old friends. Saw TJ...*sigh...Saw Scott (unfortunately) I wish he could just keep his damn hands off me god!!!!...anyway. I got my coat today...It's pretty. lol.....uhm. I miss my boyfriend. I miss everyone...oh well.. its okay. I finally get to talk to dave. Geez...thats so sad. Oh well I love him to death so I'll live lol. That didn't make sense...oh well. Oo0o0o0o0o0o courty's smart. Yes, it's possible. My lowest grade is an 85%...ok so maybe not smart but...adequately intelligent lol. Anyway...I gotta go..later Current Mood: blah Current Music: Garth Brooks-The Dance (Comment on this)
Friday, October 19th, 2001
9:47 am	You know...I really think that I was destined to be tortured by my parents...I mean, come on! First, my mom divorces my dad (not that I dont like Brad), but THEN she moves me here...GOD I HATE IT!!!! It's stupid! The people are stupid! There are like...a couple people that I actually can stand in that school..like Blanca, Sasha, Sean, Dan, the other Dan, Tori, Monica, Diana, the other Diana uhmm...Brooke, Brandon (just LOVES my ass), Shae, Holly, Mia,...yea...I cant remember..anyway! It doesnt matter because I have like a ton of people I absoluely love at my old school. I miss them soooooooo damn much. Oh yes AND tonight was the first Holloween dance and I had to listen to Sean ask me if I liked Dragon Ball Z and what my fave nintendo character was the whole night...I MEAN COME ON!!!!!! HES LIKE 13 YEARS OLD!!!!!!! jesus...I hate it here!!!!!!!!....Buuuuut...it's okay cause I'm gunna calm down now...wait..no I'm, not cause I HAVENT SEEN MY BOYFRIEND IN ALMOST 2 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well...I'm goin to my old school's last football game tomorrow night and tackle all my old friends...yup...especially scott cause he can holdf me up in tha air hehee. Although he usually ends up grabbing my ass for support ITS OKAY!...Cause I might get to meet Ashleys boyfriend tomorrow...god thats so sad...I havent even met my own best friends boyfriend. Uh God I cant stand that. Hopefully that's the way it works out. I talked to Heather today..I miss her. She was so much fun lol...She's gunna be spendin the night next friday n stuff so it'll be cool...wellll I better go I still have homework you know...Later :o) Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Friday, October 12th, 2001
8:09 am	You're never too far away..Cause I have learned that nobody can ever take your place Welll hey...been a while since I've actually written in this. Oh well...uhmm. I went shopping today..It was much fun. Got 3 new shirts (ash dont make fun of my one, I know you hate stripes but its adorable) and I got this zip up thingy and these jeans that are TOO DAMN BIG!!! and this perfume stuff (Healing Garden: Waters MmMmMmM) Andd...the new Mariah CD. It's actually good lol...What else did I get?...Oh yea! this stocking cap you know! and these little thin gloves with them its SOOOOOO cute hehe. And guess what!Now Imma say Hi to people cause I'm borreeed...so! HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! Ashy!!!! My baby gurl hehe Love ya cutie u so0o0o0o0o sweet! ohhhhhhhh Dave....I luuuuv you. Yea you know I do. xoxoxo babe, you're the best! JojoJojoJojoJojoJojoJojoJojo...*sigh* JOJO!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?..Well, guess what! I love you honey...I miss you so much! ChRiStIaN! Hiya u sexy thing hehe.. whassup!?! Remember now...I love you!!!!! lol...course I do...I always will even if we're never together (sounds stupid but its true) I love you! DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!! WHO I HAD SE...LoL!!!! *huggles* ur so sweet love you hun REAPreapREAPreapREAPreapREAP!!!!!!!! Hiya Mr. Davey Reap Reaper!You bettah be waiting when I come to San Antonion or imma kill ya hehe love you *giggle* BETHY!!!!!!! BETHY BETHY BETHY!!!!!! M'dear sweet kind lovable Bethy...I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you forever gurl! AllY!!!!!!!!!! ur never on...uh geez...oh well I still love you anyway! LoL course I do...forever babe ;o) CaIlEy!!!!!!!!!! My BOOM WHACKER BUDDY!!! AWWWWWWW I miss those boom whackin days hehe...love you gf MiNnSmInNsMiNnSmInNs!!!! minnie minnie gf HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY BABE! *smooches* love ya much hun...hang in there...we'll kill the bitch Kari...mwuahahaha *giggle* well..we'll at least try hehe love you! Hmm....who else... Oh Yea..Nutty..even though we're all goin through somethin hard I want you to know that I'm not mad at you and I'll always be here for you..love you hun...you mean a lot...thanks for lookin out for me. TJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DuDe!!! we gotta get together sometime! I miss you boy! Love you Tj!!!1 Well I think thats it...umm I guess I'll go lol...later people..if I missed anyone I love you...*wink* Night Current Mood: content Current Music: Never too far-Mariah (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 9th, 2001
9:17 am	Saints and Angels We're only human, baby We walk on broken ground We lose our way We come unwound We'll turn in circles, baby We're never satisfied We'll fall from grace Forget we can fly But through all the tears that we cried We'll survive Cause when we're torn apart Shattered and scarred Love has the grace to save us We're just two tarnished hearts When in each other's arms We become saints and angels. I love your imperfections I love your everything Your broken heart, your broken wings I love you when you hold me And when you turn away I love you still and I'm not afraid Cause I know you feel the same way And you'll stay Cause when we're torn apart Shattered and scarred Love has the grace to save us We're just two tarnished hearts When in each other's arms We become saints and angels. These feet of clay (these feet of clay) They will not stray Cause when we're torn apart Shattered and scarred Love has the grace to save us We're just two tarnished hearts When in each other's arms We become saints and angels. Saints and angels Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Sara Evans~Saints and Angels (Comment on this)
6:31 am	"Drowning" Don't pretend you're sorry I know you're not You know you got the power To make me weak inside You leave me breathless But it's okay 'cause You are my survival Now hear me say I can't imagine life Without your love Even forever don't seem Like long enough 'Cause everytime I breathe I take you in And my heart beats again Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Everytime I try to rise above I'm swept away by love Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Maybe I'm a drifter Late at night 'Cause I long for the safety Of flowing freely In your arms I don't need another lover It's not for me 'Cause only you can save me Oh can't you see I can't imagine life Without your love And even forever don't seem Like long enough 'Cause everytime I breathe I take you in And my heart beats again Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Everytime I try to rise above I'm swept away by love Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Go on and pull me under Cover me with dreams, yeah Love me mouth to mouth now You know I can't resist 'Cause you're the air That I breathe Everytime I breathe I take you in And my heart beats again Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Everytime I try to rise above I'm swept away by love And baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning your love Baby I can't help it Keep me drowning In your love I keep drowning In your love Baby I can't help it Can't help it no, no 'Cause everytime I breathe I take you in And my heart beats again Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Everytime I try to rise above I'm swept away by love Baby I can't help it You keep me Drowning in your love Current Mood: sad Current Music: Drowning-Backstreet Boys (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
10:18 am	yay!!!! 14!!!!! In the morning I wake up And in the night I sleep Since the day that I was born Repeat, repeat, repeat Brought to this life Born to this life Where was I before? Non-existent? Not at all? Will I ever know? Today is my birthday And I get one every year And some day... Hard to believe But I'll be buried six feet underground Subconsciously motivated natural instinct Alter nature for the pleasure Orthocycline Flirt with conception Slow the cycle Will the baby grow? Social tradition interference Control, control, control Today is my birthday And I get one every year And some day... Hard to believe But I'll be buried six feet underground I'll be dead and gone, no longer around Spinning, spinning Before I can recall All the unknown chemicals Control the cycle The successive generations From dust to dust Burying my grandma Then give birth to my own daughter Today is my birthday And I get one every year And some day... Hard to believe But I'll be buried six feet underground Today is my birthday And I get one every year And some day... Hard to believe But I'll be buried six feet underground I'll be dead and gone, no longer around I'll be buried six feet underground Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Six F eet Under-No doubt (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 30th, 2001
10:18 pm	I TALKED TO JOJO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! I talked ta jojo i talked ta jojo...lalalalala happy happy happy okay...I'll stop. But GODDDD I missed him so much. I was going crazy. I mean...awww geez it juss flat out plain completely and fully without am doubt sucked. Oh well, hes on now. I'm happy. It's okay. I love him so much. I wish I could talk to him all the time. But, unfortunately, I cant and I hate that. I'm gunna strangle his sister and her bf when I go back to Cali with Jojo's dad. hehehe I wish...oh well, i guess i'll go now and um...do sumpthin....later! (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 27th, 2001
6:17 pm	A song for my best friend in the WHOLE world How do I, Get through the night without you? If I had to live without you, What kind of life would that be? Oh, I I need you in my arms, need you to hold, You're my world, my heart, my soul, If you ever leave, baby you would take away everything good in my life, and tell me now How do I live without you? I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? Without you, There'd be no sun in my sky, There would be no love in my life, There'd be no world left for me. And I, Baby I don't know what I would do, I'd be lost if I lost you, If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything real in my life, And tell me now, How do I live without you? I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? Please tell me baby, How do I go on? If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything, I need you with me, Baby don't you know that you're everything, Real in my life? And tell me now, How do I live without you, I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? How do I live without you? How do I live without you baby? Remember Ash? The dance...when we were dancing and you were singing it to me and we started crying. I miss you, Ashley...I want to be with you, with everyone, with all my friends again in Dakota. When you talk about things like you and Josh and cheerleading and everything I get so sad. You know...there are actually times when it isn't that bad here...times when I know I have friends both places and I know you'll never leave me...but its not enough. You're my best friend. I need you. Being an hour and fifteen minutes is just distance...but distance hurts and it's killing me. I love you more than life itself...nothing comes between you and I...I want to be there. I wanna be with my real friends, but I have to deal with it...the only thing I need is that you never leave me...If things get unbearable down here...dont leave me. I love you...you're so beautiful Ashley...you're the most beautiful person in the world...I'll be forever...loving you...caring about you..needing you...I'll never leave no matter here, there, or anywhere...never... (Comment on this)
6:12 pm	You’re with me Til the bitter end What we had transcends This experience Too painful to Talk about So I’ll hold it in Til my heart can mend And be brave enough to love again A place in time Still belongs to us Stays preserved in my mind In the memories there is solace Never too far away I won’t let time erase One bit of yesterday Cause I have learned that Nobody can take your place Though we can never be I’ll keep you close to me When I remember Glittering lights Incandescent eyes Still preserved In my mind In the memories I’ll find solace Never too far away I won’t let time erase One bit of yesterday And I have learned that Nobody can take your place Though we can never be I’ll keep you close to me And I’ll remember A place in time Still belongs to us Stays preserved in my mind In the memories there is solace Never too far away I won’t let time erase One bit of yesterday Cause I have learned that Nobody can take your place And though we can never be I’ll always think of you and me Always remember Love You’re never too far Current Mood: sad Current Music: Never too far~Mariah (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2001
9:57 pm	Thanks Christian...I love it....~jars of clay~ like a child~ Dear God, Surrond me as I speak The bridges that I walk Across are weak And the frustrations fill the Void that I can't solely bear Dear God, Don't let me fall apart You've held me close to you But I have turned away And searched for answers I can't understand Chorus: They say that I can move the mountains And send them falling to the sea They say that I can walk on water If I would follow and believe With faith like a child Sometimes, When I feel miles away And my eyes can't see your face I wonder if I've grown to lose The recklessness I walked in light of you repeat chorus twice (change falling to crashing) They say that love can heal the broken They say that hope can make you see They say that faith can find a Savior If you would follow and believe with faith like a child Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: ^~~~~ (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 13th, 2001
4:40 pm	HOW MANY PEOPLE WANNA KICK SOME ASS!?!?!?!??!!?!? FUCK YOU BIN LADIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: enraged Current Music: kick some ass ~ stroke 9 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2001
9:41 pm	Personally, I have opinions on the subject of the Attack on America like everyone else. I've chosen to express them through my LJ because it's the best place. Yesterday, the lives of every person on this planet turned and the course of history changed. The voice of Americans across the country has spoken and favorably, war is something we all agree necessary. I think everyone with a heart lost something yesterday. One of the most shocking thing to me was the fact that thousands of children were instantly orphaned yesterday...they waited in schools, shelters, and anywhere they could hold these children for their parents to pick them up. Most of them were never picked up, never saw their parents again...That, to me, is devastating. I am in the biggest shock I've ever been in. My deepest appreciation is dedicated to our nation, my thoughts to our families, my prayers to our victims. I am proud to be a part of this country and I won't give up on the notion that we will surive anything that God hands us... Current Mood: Strong (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 11th, 2001
8:05 pm	Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone For a moment all the world was right How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I a king But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Yes my life is better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 5th, 2001
2:58 pm	Helplessly...Hoplessly I can stand with the weight of the world On my shoulders I can fight with the toughest of the tough I can laugh in the face Of all my insecurities Anytime, anywhere, anything I'm strong enough But when you're holding me like this I'm carelessly lost in your touch I'm completely defenseless Baby, it's almost too much I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly Falling in love So let consequence do what it will to us I don't care Let the stars stand as witness to it all Say the word and tonight I will follow you anywhere I just can't pretend anymore I'm too sturdy to fall But when you're holding me like this I'm carelessly lost in your touch I'm completely defenseless Baby, it's almost too much I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly Falling in love I am not afraid I am not afraid 'Cause when you're holding me like this I'm carelessly lost in your touch I'm completely defenseless Baby, it's almost too much I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly Falling... (Helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly falling) I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly Falling in love Current Mood: crushed Current Music: ^~Jessica Andrews (Comment on this)
Monday, August 27th, 2001
8:49 pm	Lately, I haven't really been expressing my feelings except through songs...which isn't specific enough for understanding. So now, this is my time...for the first time in a long time, I'm truly going to tell you how I honestly feel...about everything. Over this last weekend lots of things happened...things that changed everyone between Ash, Jojo, Dave, and I. Ash and dave broke up...why is a really good question. No one really knew the answer. Jojo and I are doing fine. He seemed pissed off at me at one point over the weekend but he's ok and we're ok. Dave and I have a really strange relationship now. I can't explain it...its just hard. He thinks I lead him on and I don't try to. He's just one of my best friends and Yes, I love him very very much. He's always been there and hopefully will always be there. Ash and I are, as always, perfect. Best friends...forever..nothing is going to change that although, over the weekend I was honestly thinking about forgetting it all. Forgetting Ash, forgetting dave, forgetting jojo even...just to live a new life. To go to my new school and be with people that I've never experienced. Then it clicked, leaving them won't solve anything. Holding on will...so that's why I'm holding on forever...to all of you...Jojo, Dave, Ash...I love you. I hope you're all here forever and I'm sorry for putting you through what I did... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: My December~Linkin Park (2 Comments |Comment on this)
8:36 pm	Lately, I haven't really been expressing my feelings except through songs...which isn't specific enough for understanding. So now, this is my time...for the first time in a long time, I'm truly going to tell you how I honestly feel...about everything. Over this last weekend lots of things happened...things that changed everyone between Ash, Jojo, Dave, and I. Ash and dave broke up...why is a really good question. No one really knew the answer. Jojo and I are doing fine. He seemed pissed off at me at one point over the weekend but he's ok and we're ok. Dave and I have a really strange relationship now. I can't explain it...its just hard. He thinks I lead him on and I don't try to. He's just one of my best friends and Yes, I love him very very much. He's always been there and hopefully will always be there. Ash and I are, as always, perfect. Best friends...forever..nothing is going to change that although, over the weekend I was honestly thinking about forgetting it all. Forgetting Ash, forgetting dave, forgetting jojo even...just to live a new life. To go to my new school and be with people that I've never experienced. Then it clicked, leaving them won't solve anything. Holding on will...so that's why I'm holding on forever...to all of you...Jojo, Dave, Ash...I love you. I hope you're all here forever and I'm sorry for putting you through what I did... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: My December~Linkin Park (Comment on this)