Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
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5:09 pm - "when something is right, you just gotta close your eyes, grit your teeth and hang on."
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i saw clockstoppers last night with brianna, fitz and his little brother.
so is it just me? is it just this year, or this semester or this month even? or is it going to be like this from now on? life has been a challenge to say the least.
corie and i sat outside in the sprinkly, crisp goodness and shot the shit today. it was so nice to have a conversation with her since its been so damn long. kinda like its been so damn long since i've written on my livejournal? yeah.
i had an amazing weekend. hung out with brianna the whole effin time. we farted in church during the choir concert. we wreaked havoc in mission beach, in spring valley, el cajon, at hollywood video. damn we wreaked a lot of havoc. good times.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Billy Joel
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Sunday, March 10th, 2002
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10:17 pm
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tampon commercials fucking piss me off.
who has my notice cd?
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10:15 pm
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9:38 pm - whether or not you have dared to be happy...
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today when i went in to work on D.I. the calking gun was broken. so kyle and i tore open the tube and calked with our hands. it was such a beautiful thing.
driving is a beautiful thing. and life, yeah you guessed it, is a beautiful thing.
i love you too. oh so much.
current mood: exhausted
current music: David Bowie - Nature Boy
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Tuesday, March 5th, 2002
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3:53 pm - ITS PRONOUNCED DOO-MAHS.
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WHO FORGOT IT WAS JENN'S BIRTHDAY?
ME.
WHO COULDN'T BE MORE SORRY AND TRIED TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY SAYING IT ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES AFTER SHE TOLD THEM?
ME.
WHO FEELS RETARDED?
ME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER VOLKER, HOWEVER BELATED. I LOVE YOU.
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Friday, March 1st, 2002
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4:18 pm - where it lands is where it lands
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i was so angry at nick bonnell for using me then using my friend. then i was even more angry at him for pretending like none of it mattered, like people's emotions are fun things to fuck around with. so yeah now i feel like i want to forgive and forget. but it would be nice to know that he is sorry for those idiodic things he did, maybe even felt like a jackass. he probably won't admit that to me. he might even be that jackass. i want to talk to him but nick makes my head swirl and where it lands is where it lands. so i guess that i will get another head and leave him somewhere beneath the waves of time. i'm gonna talk to him. i wonder how many heads i'm allowed...
today was really freakin wierd. i felt everyone's greif and confusion and all the bullshit mr. houston spouted about seize the day, and the stress and the agitation. "this is a time for sober reflection..."? well i guess it could be, but no thanks. its gotta be like fight club. sometimes i feel like fuckin punching myself in the kisser.
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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8:17 pm - INSANE
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My day was insane. Amazingly insane. When my children ask me what i used to do for fun in high school, i will sigh and remember how we used to put our friends under hypnosis and make them have sex with walls.
Sigh.
current mood: devious
current music: Outkast - The Whole World
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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9:24 pm - Could Have Clarified Theme Here
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Kleenex Tissues with Lotion sparkle in the light.
Steven gave me a slinky for valentine's day on the day after valentine's day.
Fried eggs go on forever!
The sun and stars could not be seen, clouds blanketed the sky. My vision blurred, colors turned to gray, the end could not be seen. Your ice-cold hand held tight my throat, and choaked the life from me. The clouds are giving way to clearer skies and a beautiful sunrise. Everything became so clear once again, your power seemed so weak. Not even the girl with stars in her eyes could hide the stars from me. This game's been played for much too long, now I stand again. I think that I have found a way for me to fly again. For what you did to me, for what you are, for what you'll do come soon enough. To you and yours: I hope you suffer.
current mood: used, very used
current music: Just Listen 'n Learn: French
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9:08 pm - Three Days. Bada Bing. Bada Boom.
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YO HO,
YO HO,
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME !
WE PILLAGE AND PLUNDER AND WE RIFLE AND LOOT,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
WE KIDNAP AND RAVAGE AND DON'T GIVE A HOOT
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
YO HO,
YO HO,
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME !
WE EXTORT WE PILFER WE FILCH AND SACK,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
MARAUD AND EMBEZZLE AND EVEN HIJACK,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
YO HO,
YO HO,
A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME !
WE KINDLE AND CHAR, INFLAME AND IGNITE,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
WE BURN UP THE CITY, WE'RE REALLY A FRIGHT,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
WE'RE BEGGERS AND BLIGHTERS AND NE'ER DO WELL CADS,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES, YO HO,
AYE ! BUT WE'RE LOVED BY OUR MOMMIES AND DADS,
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO !
current mood:  sick
current music: My Nokia - The Bells of Scotland
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Thursday, February 14th, 2002
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10:07 pm - Its A Small World After All
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so susan's in a band with my best friend's first cousin.
elton john sings sweet melodies.
current mood:  amused
current music: Nickel - In the Night
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9:32 pm - Tired Nude Man in a Vagina I Am
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Too bad that's not part of the palindrome christa.
so yeah, valentines day. twas a beautiful day. susan said that "its just a day" and nothing special. and i was in a very taoist mood and i had to say, "no day is 'Just A Day.' just because its valentine's day doesn't mean that today is 'JUST a day'"
so to celebrate the undeniably commercial holiday, christa, torrey, corie, jenn and i went to in-n-out for dinner. i'm so happy that we did that. somethin great about those girls. and corie's thong on new year's. and pauvre jenn whom we tackled in the middle of the fast food joint after she worked for an illegal 10 million hours. get some sleep my little albino friend.
so no bitterness, no whining about boylessness, no deep rooted longing or any of that old maudlin crap. nope. maybe the occasional pang, but those are quite conquerable.
thank you christa for the enya cd...(what the fuck is this shit?)
current mood:  happy
current music: Enya - Na Letha Geal M'Oige
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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3:27 pm - I FUCKING GET IT!!
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Oh sweet Lordisa (phrase of the hour corie)!! i get it.
amazing. amazing how a little twenty minute conversation can lead one to a state of tranquility.
my life fluctuated from bizzarro to beautiful so many times this weekend i thought my head was going to explode. but in the end it turned out great. amazing weekend. climbing up hill is hard but its good to know that the summit will be worth it. ah yea.
my friends are beautiful and amazing and supportive and strong and fun and charming and they get embarrassed by my weirdness, and taken aback by my stupidity, and yet.. and yet somehow when the mirror tells us we're older...
la vie est belle.
current mood: ambitious
current music: Userfriendly - White Out
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Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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9:34 pm - Words of Warning
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It took me a long time to realize what the bastards are up to, to realize that the good game is their most effective method of keeping their fucking system going. When i did, it made me rage against the way i'd been fooled. All my kindness and forgiveness and meekness just let the system step on everybody all the more comfortably. Love is groovy if it's for the good guys but to love the fuzz, love the army, love the church, whoa man, that is one lost trip
current mood:  giddy
current music: Ben Folds Five - Brick
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2:35 pm - yep
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Scorpio
Weekend of February 1st-3rd, 2002
This weekend, life should be assloads more fun than it's been in some time. Focuses are shifted on whatever positivity exists in the scene, and the vibe clearly stresses ignorance of negativity. Joy and entertainment and pleasure are the most vital concerns on the minds of many at this time. Those in your life once obsessed with success and status may be more prone to say, "fuck it" about it all. Excitement and passion return as many changes and redirections energize your appreciation of the little important things about existence.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Into the Woods - Prologue
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Thursday, January 31st, 2002
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7:37 pm - Poisoned
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No warmth, no breath shall testify thou livest
the roses in thy lips and cheeks shall fade
to paly ashes thy eye's windows fall,
like death, when he shuts up the day of life;
each part deprived of supple government,
shall stiff and stark and cold, appear like death:
and in his borrowed likeness of shrunk death
thou shalt continue...
My dismal scene i needs must act alone...
only as much masochism as you can stand
current mood: crushed
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Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002
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11:33 pm - I Need a Catheter
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Since when did consuming fluids become a necessity associated with staying awake? it is disturbing to me that in order to stay awake, i must never stop drinking. and with incessant drinking, comes incessant pee-ing. so my question is, between sips of coffee and trips to the bathroom, when the hell am i supposed to get my studying done? Eck. Catheters are gross.
current mood: awake
current music: India Aire - Promises
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Monday, January 21st, 2002
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11:25 pm - Hey, Get Up Kid.
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I can't get over that phrase. It keeps playing over and over in my mind. I picture a kind stranger, with a voice, stern yet tender, poking me in the shoulder with a long finger, saying, "Hey, Get Up Kid."
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8:12 pm - Hey, Get Up Kid.
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I don't remember the bad things or the bad times. at all. it kills me to know, now, that they never mattered. at all.
i hate the word frivolous.
current mood:  discontent
current music: All Stars - What's Goin' On
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Saturday, January 12th, 2002
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7:50 pm - Oooh on and on and on and on, my life keeps rollin like a rollin stone
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I'm at my cousin's house in los angeles right now. we're having a baby shower for jing-jing who is married to a newly 18 year old he impregnated. but he really is in love with a beautiful girl in the philipines. damn that thing he feels called responsibility.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Erika Badu - On and On
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Saturday, December 29th, 2001
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8:43 pm - Oh yeah...
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Nick Bonnell got me a jiveass journal for christmas so i'm writing in it. what will the new year bring?
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