Seth

( Cut, for your protection )

You ever have a lot to say and it dies out because you're tired?

Then you know me right now...

Lots of stuff happened... But I was tired all day and I haven't felt like typing up any of it... DAMN ME

Good night, folks... Getting more CDs tomorrow... YAY! I ripped 10 tonight. I love the library. Free music is just awesome.

Christina: MP3 below ROCKS... Thanks for sending it to me.

I have 4 days off this week. Going to enjoy them.

I have 5 off next week. Should enjoy them. I should be in Miami next week... But it sucks ass how my dad wants to leave so we can make it back Saturday night. That damn newspaper route my mom carries sucks like that...

I'm tired... David's sister, Barbara, seems to have a huge interest in me. Which is kinda surprising...

Anyway, I should go to bed. I'm mad tired... WHOO!

( Long Ass Quiz )

Worked a total of 11 hours today

I HATED it. My hands are all torn to shit. The skin's split apart in so many places and there's dried blood spots lyin' about. I have another 9 hours tomorrow. They'll see some Hell raised if they even attempt to make me work a window. I'm fucking tired of this... >=|

Vince came to get me and his key broke off his door's lock... Perfect. He seemed pretty distressed about it. Poor guy... I felt really sad when I saw his reaction to it. Mostly oif the combination of the situation and my hands.

I love this song... In fact, it's so me right now...

I was orginally going to say a lot of things, but it doesn't matter... This week, I'm off Monday, Tuesday, Wenesday and Thursday... I could work just two 5.5 hour shifts and be totally set... But, hey, FUCK THAT. I wanna stay at home, listen to music, play games, and draw... Maybe even get off my ass and start calling me friends... In state and out, yo.

Jackie sucks ass too. She's a manager of mine... She's a total buttplug.

Today, I got to go back down to the library. Got 16 CDs and I'm about to go back to burning them all. Yay for me!

I just got home from work. I was supposed to get off at 11.. Yet, it's 12:48. So, let's get to my day! =)

All day today, it's been snowing... Spitting snow, that is. Nothing major came from it. Just a wet road and such... As my work day wore on, it actually... FUCKING snowed. It didn't "snow". It FUCKING snowed. I got SO excited. It was magnificent...

Thing is, though, I kept going outside so much that Jackie put the backdoor alarm on and I tripped it. Thus making a HUGE scene... Whoops...

David and Brock took snow from the backhole and tried to hit me with snowballs. I think one hit me... Giving them the benifit of the doubt. I ran away and outside with a tray. I quickly made 6 HUGE snowballs and ran back inside. I threw the biggest and it wizzed by David's head. I barely missed... I compensated by laying all of the other 5 to Brock's ears and David's general body. I cleaned it up and all... But it should have taught them a lesson. Don't FUCK with the Jedi master...

Night wears on and I'm washing dishes like mad to have a reason to go outside. Then I notice Jackie outside the backdoor. I take this opprunity to go out and screw around. Brock is already in the drive thru, running and sliding. I join him and general fun ensues. Eventually, a car comes down the highway and "WHOO!"'s at us. We "WHOO!" back and they turn into the parking lot. We still mess around and they drive up. I reconize the guy in the back and ask, "Hey... as you guys are leaving the parking lot, can I hold onto the back of your car and slide with you?" They agree... And then I noticed David and Brock getting snowballs ready. I go into battle mode and start laying waste to the nonbelievers. I end up slipping and falling on my back. I got mud on my ass and a giant wet spot on my back. Quite honestly, I didn't notice I had fallen until I was getting up...

It calms down and I finally get to hang on the back of their car. Seriously... They drove me down the parking lot and I was skiing on my shoes... I got a LOT of snow in my shoes. The soles are torn up and can be pulled away to show my toes. I'm too lazy to get new ones... Everyone is like, "...HOLY SHIT..." over it. David and I walk into the front door and Brock climbs in the front window. As we walk in, a man watching us gave me this really freaked out look. I did a good job...

So the night goes on. I get my presents from Jennifer (A bunch of CD-R's and a $5 bill) and I hug her... Like, 3 times. I hug Jackie afterwards... I get to hug Kasey too (imagine that) a few times. I picked her up at one point in a kind of glomp...

I clean out the dining room and, when 11 rolls arond, I still see no one there for me... Out of boredom, I ru outside the store, dig a shopping cart out of the snow, and run it up and down the Target parking lot. I put it away and started sliding down on my feet... When I get back to the restraunt, I notice these kids that watched me do it copy the actions. I was like, "NOOCH!"

Anyway... I'm making chilis since I'm waiting and I get a call. Dad can't make it. No biggie... I get my shit together, borrow a coat and some gloves, and get a 20 oz coffee full of sugar. I head out... As I go down Clinton Highway, 4 people stop to offer me a ride. I declined every time... But, come on... THAT'S AWESOME. I don't care if they might have been psychos looking for my ass and wanting to cut me with knives as they rape me to death. The gesture is fucking awesome.

While sliding down the final hill before Beaver Creek Rd, I see a massive pile up of trucks and cars. Why, exactly, I haven't a clue... Anyway, while sliding down the hill and giggling very loudly, a man calls out and says "Hey! You're going to fall!" I respond with "If I do, it's MUCH deserved!" This actually encouraged me to do it more. It was SO fun... I get onto Beaver Creek and am doing nothing but running (I can run on ice. ENVY MY LIGHT FEET! XD). I come across a car that WRECKED... Correction, "FUCKING WRECKED" and is now "FUCKING TOTALED" I literally said, "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT CAR?!!" outloud... Which was retarded. I think the guy that wrecked was in a truck near the scene.

I continue on... singing and sliding... I FINALLY slip, stumble, and slide backwards. My feet come out from under me and my knees smack into the road. Following it, the rest of my body... The thing is though... My first reaction was pain and shock... But I quickly laughed my ass off as I noticed that I was SLIDING DOWN THE HILL ON MY STOMACH. I couldn't believe how funny that was to me. My stomach still hurts a bit, but who the fuck cares?

So... I continue home... I scream randomly while passing the old LEVI'S factory and notice... THE COOLEST FUCKING ECHO EVER. It seriously has a long enough delay that I can hear what I just said. More so, there's a small echo afterwards. It's just... awesome... I screamed at it for a while and my throat began to hurt. No big deal. I said what I needed to and continued...

I alternate between running and sliding as I pass Temple Baptist Church... Then I hear someone call my name... Who could it be? They were running at me... I couldn't fucking believe it... IT WAS VINCE! He caught up to me and was telling me about how he got there. He went out with some people and got them to drop him off at Beaver Creek so he could walk home. It was a great end to the walk. I'm starting to love Vince more and more because out relationship is getting better...

I get into the house and call work like they asked me to do. When I told them I made it home after an hour of walking in 27F degree cold. The cold, however, didn't even affect me. I didn't feel it.

Right now, I'm putting all my energy into trying to help Greg... We gotta get him to Knoxville, folks!

...I've been thinking of Christina a lot too... This is good, right...? XD

After all of this... How can I even think, for a moment, that life is bad? I was actually talking to myelf about it as I walked home... Yeah... Life throws you some cruves... But you gotta learn to swerve (Part from a Rascal Flats song)! =)

It seems like my Miami trip is being moved back to the 1st. If we go this route, I get two days down there. Which is oh-so kick ass and cool. My dad was talking about how he might be able to advance his hours in such a way that he'll have the 1st totally off... Meaning we'd leave a day early. Meaning I might have /three/ days down there! That's so cool... a little heart breaking, because I wanted to go to Brarley's to see Maggie's band and have an Ocon Christmas... Ooo, conflict and compromise. Satanic... >.>

I need to leave soon to get some more CDs from the library. I got a notice telling me that my Hootie and the Blowfish and Beck albums were in. So I'm gonna pick them. Most likely going to get some John Melloncamp, Garbage, or something like Dean Martin. I also need to get my manager, Joii, a present for Christmas. I drew her name a while back...

Listening to Trapt's self titled album right now. Erin bought it... It's very good. I like it. Reminding me of which, however... I've been on a huge downloading and burning spree lately. I was going to get the exact number of albums I downloaded/ripped this week, but it proved to be very difficult... So, how's about this? IO curretn;y have 9 albums in CuteFTP's queue and I am now at... 14.0 GB of music in 235 folders. Each folder, btw, represents an album. I have about 1600-1700 songs that aren't in any folders because they're just random little songs... Oh, and I forgot to add that Alex sent me the entirity of A Perfect Circle's ablum "Thirteenth Step" last night... All of this is mostly mainstream music though... I think I actually may have finally gotten banned from this one server... which is totally fair and expected at this point. XD

But... all is good. I thought about my school friends and how I'd hug them on a daily basis. Even people I hardly knew... I always hug in such a way that I can remember them all. Sadly, my thoughts moved along to someone that used to be very dear to me... It's almost saddening to think of how I'd hug her so hard before we seperated for bed that I nearly crushed her. I never wanted to let go... Still, that's not something that brings me down. In fact, it's beautiful and I appreciate that...I got on this subject when I thought about Kirby (who once hugged me after a party... I didn't say anything was wrong and he didn't ask. He just knew...) and a little mix of Miami thrown in...

This morning's lesson? ALWAYS hug like it's the last.

Welp, got to go! Very little time left c.c

It's been quite the day

Work was routine. Apparently, the routine is that I can't get away from the back window long enough to do anything. We ran a 80 second drive thru time and were constantly hammered. That means that almost no one had to actually sit and wait at either of the windows. INSANE...

Thing is, though, that I thought about things a lot again. I got a little depressed when I thought about what I might feel should something happen to a friend of mine. I couldn't help but feel like I'd blame myself for not doing more. Sure, you can only do so much, but I can't stand failing like that... To be honest, I fail a lot. I'm jittery, I can barely talk straight, and I'm definetely not very intelligent... Lil' slow too, sometimes. I began to get angry with myself because I continuously said "Have a good night" when it was 1 in the afternoon and dropping change everywhere. I'm such a klutz.

Life isn't all peaches and cream... I try to focus on the good things, but I cause a lot of bad stuff. Since I'm always fucking up someway... Sometimes it could be small and it could be pretty big. It's the same shit over and over though. I just get lucky sometimes, I'll put all I have into things and do my best and they'll often fall apart... I really can't think of anything I've really succeeding in doing for a while.

Then it escalated till I thought about I apologize for things a lot. I purposely take the blame in a lot of situations, regardless of my involvment... Maybe it's because I know I caused something anyway or that I wanna relieve the pressure for whoever is at fault... Probably just because it's much easier for me to blame myself than someone else. I know my faults are abundant and I can spot my folley in about every situation. So... in essence, I'm always at fault.

Hard not to get slack from someone like that... It's alright with me though. It just seems odd how I can sometimes spit out rainbow bullshit about being happy about just being alive when I don't even like myself enough to give myself a little slack every now and again. Aw well... I am happy though. Solely because I understand that real happiness is something that must be obtained, something that comes and goes, and is something worth working for.

I'm that one plucky guy in the sitcom that's a total idiot and that no one really likes having around because he gets everyone into toruble until I redeem myself by showing I have a big ole' heart.

Been wearing a paperclip on my glasses all damn day... A large, bright green paperclip, Does this object sound familar to anyone? =3

Last update before sleeping...

Went out to Ocon. It was a little toned down, but we all were tired and beat by something. My sore throat's acting up badly... Misha suggested it might have something to do with sinus drainage. Maybe?

I got some Christmas stuff from the Ocon group. I wasn't able to actually go out and spend the time to shop for people. I've always been zipped around by Vince or someone and dragged out of the mall or something before I could look around. It actually sucks a lot... I just feel bad not contributing like that and getting stuff anyway... Still, it was a fabulous night and I wholeheartedly thank my Ocon buddies for the presents. Honestly, you all are so precious...

I'm feeling very emotional right now... I should seriously go to sleep... I would like to go to sleep alone, but, apparently, someone's going to be with me. Mercy on you if you know what I'm saying...

My current music explains it all.

Work was SO hard and annoying. I don't remember getting so mad without actually busting out and hitting something. I didn't take it out on the customers either... I mean, I got mad because they kept coming and all, but it's not their fault. So I'd cuss to myself and be all polite when opening the window.

Got a lot of ideas for drawings today. I so need to take the time to draw more...

I thought about Miami...I absolutely MUST talk to dad about it tomorrow. I didn't tonight because Erin had put him on a rampage. Thing is... his plan is basically "Go down there, find a place, don't know if we will or not, look, and keep everything vague." Mine's like, "We go to selected hotel, I pay for two days, we stay, have fun, leave." He was talking about maybe postponing it till after the 1st. That would give us two whole days... Even though I'm SO eager to see Christina, I have to say I like this better. Since he'd have the money, we could leave on our own time to head down there, and we'd have more time... Still, he remains at a distance...

During work, I have a lot of time to think. A realization got to me though... If something happened to someone I cared about, I'd probably blame myself. Which sucks...

Right now, my head hurts and my throat is killing me again. Dammit... Stupid crap. Hmph... >=|

Dad just mentioned Miami to me. He got up and was asking me to burn him CDs. Some Powerman, Sevendust, and The Offspring. He has good taste. Seems like a reschedule might be in order... I'm sorry, Christina, but it'll probably be for the best. We'll just have to see...

...This is a little embarrassing, but, Christina, do you have any diner plans, um, planned for when I visit?... Cause... if not... I wanna take you out to dinner. Take it however you will. I just wanna do it... Because... I'm weird... XD

Better yet, forget I said anything... c.c

I saw Ryan Rickels and Kirby Ritz in the drive thru today. I love those guys. I have Ryan's number, so I'll call him... I used to actually shake Kirby's hand and hug him in the hallway. I LOVE that guy... And they seem to wuv mmeeee. =)

Ah well... Time to call Misha!!!!

Had an interesting dream... Lina Inverse from the anime The Slayers was in it. Hilariously enough... We were in a tight spot and I did something SO cliche... You know when the one hero and heroine that have tension between one another and they suddenly confess their love or pretend to as a distraction? Yeah, that... Ssoooo... I looked Lina Inverse right in the face and said, "...I...LOVE....YOU..." Now that's just,,, fucking WEIRD!!! XD

I haven't even watched Slayers in years to boot. When I did though, I adored Lina. I guess that's where it comes from... Oddly enough, I was with her and a few other people I can't remember... And I think we were trying to get Miami... o.o

I really want to get a cellphone now... One with /great/ long distance. So I can call Christina, Greg, and Tyler without a single worry. Maybe even more people... I so adore talking to people on long distance. It's just so cool.

My sore throat is kicking my face with a vengence, seriously. It's been gradually getting worse and now it's just horrible. I'm beginning to think it's simply a reaction to the cold. No other symptoms of anything else exist. This sore throat just makes me go "DAMMIT!" everytime I swallow. It's pretty odd that I woke up this early also... But, hey, no complaints. I have 2 damn hours till I work... =D

*snickers* ...I even kissed her hand when I told her that I loved her! Man, I'm so hopeless... XD

Edit: I just got up from a little nap before work... And I heard this loud noise, like a snore. But no one was around. I could even feel the rumble of it. Like someone was snoring right next to me. Again, no one was occupying the bed at this time other than me. I tried to regulate my breathing to make sure it wasn't me, but I still heard it... I honestly think... I was half asleep and half awake and it actually WAS me... I'm almost certain because when I got up, it felt like I just got up from a deep sleep... But I didn't think I slept at ALL... God, I'm so weird. XD

I am feeling so good right now... In fact, so much, that I don't give a damn about what I was going to say

My day's been a little shoddy. I went out with Erin and mom for stuff. I got Christina some stuff.

Went to the mall with Vince and did some crazy shit.

Stopped by work and got some free food. Everyone seems in high spirits.

Stopping by Digi-Tek Computers to look at cheap processors and such. I wanna build a cheap comp for fun...

Actually made a difference tonight, I think... So... happy... :)

Making one of those "Anonymous Friends Thing"... things. So, yeah!

( OMFG! ARMORED CAVE TROLLS!!! )

Just got back home from the library. I went eariler today and got 16 CDs using my mom's card and mine. I just returned all of them, minus one, and got some more... Meaning, in one day, I've ripped about... 29-31 CDs. Nah ha ha...

While at the library a little while ago I met an old buddy, Maggie. Her number is still on my hand... She was more of Vince's friend... Actually, never really mine. She's looking good though and she's in a band. Lead singer too, yo. I wanna see the band play since there's supposed to be 5 in total and I am off this New Year's Eve anyway... I hated the conversation though. I was smooth, I think, but also silent and quiet since we met in a library... Anyone that knows me well knows I am anything but that most of the time.

I'm off tomorrow and I really need to do... I dunno, something, tomorrow. Maybe... call people? I dunno... =P

Lately, really good (small) things have been happening. I love small things.

Ya know, I was reading this humorous book on Astromy at the library... Not many good things said about Scorpios, yo. XD

If you're in Knoxville... Let me borrow you CD collections! I need mmooorrreeeee!!!!!!!!

That is all.

This is getting so old... seriously. I woke up after a few hours of sleep today. I tried to get out of bed and I stumbled around because my calf had an insanely horrible cramp. It SUCKED SO MUCH ASS. I did some computer things and went back to bed. I can't fully describe how tired I was and properly convey it... But, I DID go back to sleep and I just woke up. So... I got my full night's sleep! Sure it was broken in half, but.....s-shut up.... Ass....

Watching Treasure Planet. It's actuallt really, really cool...

Got an SA account today. I guess that's awesome.

Bought some new shoes. Only $15. I'm not one to spend too much on things like that.

Eyes straining. Head hurting. Thoughts not connecting... I need some sleep. Going to sleep now. Night folks...

Going to the library tomorrow. Getting... you guessed it, more CDs. XD

Only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. While opening, I managed to listen to 4 full CDs. Vanessa Carlton (Be Not Nobody), Robbie Williams (Sing When You're Winning), The Exies (Inertia), and Sugar Ray's self titled. I love them all in different ways. Snoogin's...

Next up is likely going to be Collective Soul. Yay...

It's been a rough ass day. My hands got dry and started splitting apart, again... Been tired and stuff, naturally. I want my damn hands to quit getting so chapped and shit. It's painful, dammit. I can even feel it when the skin breaks. Erg... >.<

I've also noticed that I think I fractured my finger a few weeks back. Not at the knuckle, so it's been working. Hurts sometimes when I ball it up though... Anyway, I was feeling it today and the knot sticking out felt solid. I messed around it looks like it's my bone. Which is just weird. So... my finger might be slightly malformed. Only slightly, though. I wanna go to the doctor, but I don't think it's gonna happen. If it did, it'd end up being a total shit storm.

There's also a sore throat that's pretty damn presistant... And 'm VERY tired. Omg, am I tired...

Ah well... I might stay up though. In hopes of stuff happening. I don't like missing things...

Off tomorrow and Tuesday. That's good medicine.

Holy shit, it's about 3 AM and I go to work at 8! O_o

It's a 9 hour shift... Once it's over, though, I'm off Monday and Tuesday. So, no problem.

I've been thinking a lot lately... And, ya know, it's been about some damn good things. I actually feel very good too...

Aside from being tired and all, of course.

Stopped by the library and returned my CDs. Right nnnooowww, I haaavvveeee...
Robbie Williams: The Ego Has Landed
Robbie Williams: sing When You're Winning
Duran Duran: Greatest Hits
Toto: Past To Present
Bare Naked Ladies: Disc One
U2: All That You Can't Leave Behind
Collective Soul: Self Titled
Vanessa Carlton: Be Not Nobody
Sugar Ray: Sugar Ray
Superdrag: Last Call For Vitriol

Should go back this Tuesday and clear out some more. Yyaaayyyyyy... They have the Marshall Mathers LP by Eminem and Year of The Spider by Cold, but they're both checked out. Including this one Hootie and the Blowfish CD I want...

"In the meantime, get ready for a little surprize coming up real soon. What surprize? you ask. Let's just say this - don't waste any more money on Ebay.... "
-SpiderOne

Anyone for Doomsday's probably going to be finally released!! YYAAYYYY!... Too bad I just downloaded the last few tracks that I needed for myself, but, still... Oh, and they might start touring again in the new year. I'm so going to make it an effort to see them again. =D

Damien stayed the night. Yay... Right now he's all bored. But I don't wanna do anything. All I wanna do is possibly run to the library for more CDs. I don't want to go with him because he can barely drive his van. I also don't like trying to go out and do anything when I have to go to work in a few hours. Just no fun.

But I'm content and having fun right now. So it's like... "Seth, let's go have fun!" and I'm like, "...This is fun to me..."

I was outside in my just pants eariler. No shirt or shoes. Which was dumb, cause I just got out of the shower. So I got my feet dirty. Wasn't too cold though. Dad was like, "Colder than you think!" and I'm like, "....Oh, sorry, I missed that." Weather's not so bad... There's also no sun out today. Stupid clouds! Sky's all gray and white though. It's oddly neat when it's like this.

Still thinking about... um... stuff... From last night... Yeah, so, ignore me.

Damien stopped by at 2 AM to tell me about his day and such. He went to a strip club. Which makes me go, "......Yeee-aahhhhh....." Like... if someone's explaining quantum physics to you and you don't care? Samething.

Vince had to drive some drunk chic home and she lived in Bumfuck, Egypt. Well, close enough. Greenback or something. She was TOTALLY hammered. He had to drive her home in her car and my mom followed Vince in her car. Insanely complicated abd WEIRD... Funny though.

Listening to more music... in fact, I'm burning Damien's CDs right now. I think I have hit about 45-50 full soundtracks. Planning on going to Lawson McGee tomorrow for more music. Christina also informed me that she burned me a bunch of music. So much to absorb and such little time! ...Oh, and my headphones seemed to have broke today... So sad... ;_;

I had a very good night... And this song is so fun and uplifting! =D

Feeling good and looking forward to tomorrow. I might be able to come in 2 hours early. This would put me at 40 hours... And they'll be short handed this Sunday night... Maybe... just... maybe...