kAtE cLaUhS' LiveJournal

Time:	5:54 pm.
Mood:	stressed.
Music:	"take warning." - operation ivy.

gosh.. i have felt like such crap lately.

yesterday alysia and i went to walmart to buy some stuff for her dorm because she leaves the day after tomorrow. on the way there i asked her what's going to happen with her and ryan (ryan is her boyfriend of 2 years... he's like a part of our family. he goes to college 45 minutes from here, she is going to pittsburgh.. 6 hours) she said "well we can't really stay together.. we're breaking up. but i don't wanna talk about it, it chokes me up." and then when i looked at her she had tears in her eyes. it was the saddest thing. so i'm sitting there thinking about it and i started crying. i mean, even i'm gonna miss ryan, she must feel so horrible. and i realized that my big sister isn't gonna be around anymore, and sure she never was ms. sunshine, but she's still a part of my family and someone i love and she's going away and growing up. thats the scarier part, the growing up. i remember when we were little tiny girls and now she's going to college, she's 18, she's and adult.. and i'm 16 so that means i'm not far behind, and sure i can't wait to go to college, but at the same time that means i'm gonna need to figure myself out and what i want for my life and who i want to be with - and gosh you make a wrong decision about htat stuff, and you're screwed, to be blunt. and just to know that my sister, who i grew up with, who was always my equal it seemed, is starting to make these decisions... to leave the people she loves and learn to love new people... thats hard to think about.

... i dont think i'm ready for this.

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Time:	8:57 pm.
Mood:	drained.
Music:	"signal signal" - common rider.

well i just got back from babysitting three children from hell.. yes, that sure was fun. i was only there for 4 hours and i made $40... that is not bad.. in fact that's incredibly good. and it looks like time for me to begin rakin' in the cash because i got a job at subway. awww yeah. this afternoon i went to dave's, besty was there, too. we had fun watching blind date and eating ragu express. we looked up shoes on the internet, i am still looking for that awesomely perfect pair, i don't want any more chuck taylors, a lotta stupid girls from my school are starting to wear chucks and suspenders and stuff, i'm totally not digging it. they're all obsessed with jesse and they go to his shows and like fall all over him.. its funny in a grotesque kinda way. last night, doug, anne and rich came over and doug drove his pick up into one of the fields at my house and we sat in the back of it and watched the sunset while listening to weezer.. it was magical.

tuesday night trudi and i drove down to danny's... we got sooo lost (danny is a very bad direction-giver) well, when we finally got there, we picked danny up and drove to the neshaminy mall. we just walked around a bit and then we decided to go to a movie. the movie we picked was shrek. danny and i had already seen it but trudi hadn't, and it is one quality movie. dan's friend kevin met us at the movie and he and trudi hit it off quite well, although i dont think she wants to add another one to her list... hehe ;) the movie was hilarious and trudi and i were laughing uncontrollably the whoooole time, danny and kevin were just like uhh yeah.. right... it was grrrrreat. after that we went to the suburban diner where we ate chicken soup. after that, unfortunately, the sad moment came when we had to say goodbye. so we did just that and we went our seperate ways. ::sigh:: danny is awesome.

anyway, the parents are out of town - but no big parties here, oh no, my grandparents live next door, and as if that wasn't enough, i have to sleep at their house. how incredibly lame is that? grr oh well. i think i'll get over it.

>>>>.i'm trying to think of something profound to write, but i can't.<<<<<

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Time:	11:39 am.
Mood:	hopeful.
Music:	"i am always the one who calls" - pedro the lion.

this is kinda silly....

01. Do you own any plaid clothing? yes
02. Do you own Converse shoes? yes
03. Do you own Saucony shoes? yes
04. Do you own old school Nikes? i have my eye on a pair
05. Do you wear tight pants? yeah i guess
06. Is there more than one zipper in your pants? yea
07. Do you know what a squatter flap is? yeah
08. Do you own a messenger bag? no
09. Do you wear your messenger bag across your chest? i dont have one
10. Do you own braces? yea but i dont know where they are
11. Are braces worn anywhere besides the mouth? yeah
12. Do you have short, shaggy hair? kinda
13. Does your hairstyle exceed a height of 3 inches? no
14. Would you classify your hair as a deadly weapon? no
15. Do you think mohawks are "neat"? kinda sometimes
16. Is your hair black or red? it WAS red
17. Do you have a favorite brand of hair dye? yeah
18. Do you own a bandanna? yeah i wore it last night
19. Do you wear plugs in your ears? no
20. Are you amused by safety pins? i hate it when people put them all over stuff for no reason
21. Have you ever used duct tape as a sewing substitute? on my chucks
22. Do you own one or more objects with studs or spikes in them? yea
23. Do you own one or more articles of clothing from Dogpile, Lip Service, or Tiger of London? that stuff is too expensive
24. Do you enjoy leopard print? not really
HABITS/BELIEFS:
25. Are you disgruntled (having a general hate for everything)? YES ANNE AND I ARE VERY DISGRUNTLED!!!
26. Are you an anarchist? absolutely not
27. Does the American flag anger you? no
28. Are you "working class"? ehh i guess
29. Do you dislike "preps"? people are people
30. Do you dislike Hot Topic? ehh pretty much
31. Do you smoke cigarettes? no
32. Do you smoke cloves? no
33. Are you a thin waif? i wish
34. Are you vegan/vegetarian? no
35. Do you think meat is murder? no
36. Do your nighttime activities usually involve drunken underage vomiting? haha no
37. Have you ever slept in an alley or park? no
38. Do you wash your hair less than once a week? no
39. Have you ever gone a week without a shower? haha yeah
40. Have you ever been avoided due to your odor? no
41. Do you know who Jack Kerouac is? yeah
42. Do you like Mr. Kerouac? i love him
43. Should Mumia Abu-jamal be freed from prison?absolutely not he killed a fuckin cop and he was in the black panthers so he was racist against white people but then white kids sit there and advocate him at shows, its soo lame.
44. Are you a member of the Makeout Club? um not that i know of!
SPEECH:
45. Do you say "rad"? haha yea
46. Do you say "rockin'"? sometimes
47. Do you say punk "rawk"? absolutely not
48. Do you spout the word "oi" at random times? rarely
49. Do you say "punk's not dead"? no
50. Do you say "punk is dead"? no
MUSIC:
51. Do you like bands with "." in their name? yeah
52. Do you like bands with "theory" in their name? yea
53. Do you like bands with "the"? yea
54. Do you ever precede your own name with "the" at the beginning? no
55. Do you like bands with the F word in their name or album title? hah yea
56. Do you think "Christian punk" is an oxymoron? nope
57. Are Blink 182 fans "posers"? i hate when people call other people "posers"
58. Do you have frequent debates over what exactly constitutes a sellout? heh physics class this year, all the time
59. Have you ever bought the headlining band food? yes actually
60. Do you have show flyers affixed to your walls? yeah

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Subject:	yesterday was so cool! :)
Time:	12:17 pm.
Mood:	chipper.
Music:	"you're the only one" - mtx.

well, its good to be home. yesterday was such a cool day. (for the most part) at first it sucked because at the beach i dyed streaks of bright red in my hair and it looked so rad, but my mom decided that she didn't like it and i had to go to the hairdresser to get it out. i told her she was just wasting money, but she didn't seem to care... so i had an appointment at 12:30, it was 3:30 till i got outta there. talk about suck! it took forever and they totally bleached the shit outta my hair.ick. its so blonde now i dont like it too much, i wanna dye it dark brown. that would be cool. i got it cut a lot shorter and stuff, while it was getting cut my mom looked like she was gonna cry. in the car she said to me, "you know what kate, you have such beautiful hair if you would just grow it longer and dress like you had some class i bet you could have any boy you wanted." okay what is that supposed to mean...? and she told me i was born into the wrong family. i can almost agree with that. but its all about the love. and the unity! (right justin flamini?)alright enough of that, so on to the FUN stuff!!!!! tami and i went over nates and soon were joined by (in order of appearance) justin flamini, owen grady, mike alles, and drew mccaskey! ohh my it was so fun, we went swimming in nates underwear! yay.. then we were off to the poetry reading, and who was there but cailin arena! talk about awesome. at the reading i read some poems, nate read one hilarious short story and then we just hung out in the shopping center till nates mom picked us up, we went to nates, swam some more and then unfortunately we had to go home. but it was a super awesome day that i hope will be followed by many more! when i got home i talked to tommy and matt till like 2. it's been a while since i've talked to matt but of course at one point he just got mad and hung up the phone, so i talked to tommy for a while and that was awesome too. matt needs to learn how to deal with stuff.

today i think im going furniture shopping with my mom. she practically begged me to come, i think she really missed me while i was gone - that's awesome. its not like my parents to miss me. i think things are getting better between us and i'm really happy about it. then i'm gonna go get a job. blah.

sorry this entry was so lame but hey what else did you expect?

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Subject:	hola
Time:	1:00 am.
Mood:	relaxed.
Music:	"freakish" - saves the day -.

hello... wow, i dont know where to start. i'm having an awesome time, i've met some pretty incredible people. but i do miss everyone at home, and my mommy misses me, so i am coming home this wednesday the 25th. gosh i dont even know what to write in here. well we spend most of our days at the beach or walking around or watching movies etc etc and at night for the most part we go into the little town and talk to people or cause a ruckus or go to the beach or something like that. three of the guys have acoustic guitars so a couple of the nights we have spent playing guitar and singing to the large crowd that assembles around us in town, its cool,we open a guitar case and they throw us money. =) we went to the reel big fish/goldfinger/zebrahead/homegrown/rx bandits show the other week, it was sooo fun. i got to see mihail, tami, ajay, chris, greg and some others. i also got to meet a couple people like orr who were really cool. then last monday we went to the saves the day/anniversary/dashboard confessional/hot rod circuit show, and it was ammmmmmaaaaaaaaazing. before the show chris was outside and no one recognized him or something because i got to talk to him for like 20 minutes, it was soo cool, he gave me a hug and told me to keep in touch =) then when they were on stage he waved.. it was superrad =) the new saves the day album is absolutely incredible so when they played those songs i was so happy, that was one of the best shows ever. dc was very cool too, i knew every song he played it was nice. hmm i dont know what to write about... so i'll see y'all later. ;)

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Subject:	(B)(e)(A)(c)(H)
Time:	2:41 pm.
Mood:	energetic.
Music:	"one love" - bob marley.

helllllloooooooooo, i am at the beach, and it is fabulous. well, almost fabulous. it sorta sucks because so far me and chaz are the only people here from last summer, however we met this really awesome girl named emily, she gets an A+. And there's this annoying prick named conner and he has a mohawk but it sucks and he never does it right and he follows us around and grr i dont like him, but oh well, its all about the unity, man. emily and conner both live down here. so, like i said, it's fabulous here. on sunday sarah, keith and tommy came and visited me for the day, and oh! how FANTASTIC it was!!!! i have a job here in this clothing store on 96th Street called the Klothes Kove. it's pretty neato, the store sells really cute clothes and i'm making lots of money.. yippee!!! what sucks though is that i have to work tonight, tomorrow night, and the night after that. they gave me the night shift, three nights in a row, that sucks a lot. theres a party tonight at some girl emily knows's house (bad grammer there hehe) and i really wanna go, but i have work till 10 and my curfew is 11. bllllllahhhhhh. maybe i can stop by! anyway, alesandra, mikey and dave are coming down on saturday, then its gonna be great. it's so weird, i already feel sooo detached from home, like it's another world or something..hard to explain. but i do miss everybody, and if anyone is coming down to the jersey shore, call me so we can hang out!!!!!! this is my number at my house :

609-967-0825

and if i'm not there, definately leave a message so i can get back to you (and a #) or try my cell :

215-813-1828

i'm on my dad's laptop that he got from work and aol is blocked so i can't check my aol mail and that sucks so if anyone emailed me there, i did'nt get it :( i'm gonna go the library and see if i can check there! so yeah! this entry really sucks a lot, my sincere apologies. i'm not really sure what to write about. last night chaz, emily and i were walking down the street at like 10 and it started pouring and thundering and lightning-ing.. it was so freaky. we ran into some cafe and they let us use their phone and chaz's grandfather picked us up and took us to chazzy's house. phew. chaz is so cool, he's such a good friend. when i got here i kinda liked him for like 2 days but i don't anymore, that was dumb. ummmm god i dont know what to write about, i guess i'll update this in a few days... remember, if you're going to the beach, give me a call!!! bye! i missss you!!!!

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Subject:	on second thought....
Time:	8:45 pm.
Mood:	excited.
Music:	"time won't heal the pain" - link 80 -.

i decided not to care if my family reads this. they'll probably forget about it sooner or later. so yeah... i'm extremely bored. i was gonna hang out w/ stefan tonight and we were gonna go to mike alles's house, but stefan's car won't start. therefore, no ride. and since my parents are all busy getting ready for the shore tomorrow, they can't take me... lots of suck. since i am so bored i am gonna fill this survey out that i stole from sheri's journal :

1. What is your full *first* name? Katerina

2. Backstreet Boys or NSync? i'm a little partial to nsync

3. When was the last time you showered? yesterday i guess

4. What color pants do you have right now? green

5. What song are you listening to right now? "Bad Diary Days" - Pedro the Lion

6. What is the last thing that you said? "i'll give you a call in august, ok?... bye"

7. What is right next to you? some books

8. What is your computer desk made of? wood

10. What was the last thing you ate? strawberries

11. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? bright pink

12. When is your birthday? june 24

14. Do you have a lava lamp? no

15. How many buddies do you have on your list? 160

16. How's the weather right now? sweaty

17. What did you do yesterday? umm went shopping with my mom, then i hung out w/ erin, then went out to dinner w/ my family, then anne came over, then chris came and got us and we drove around, then anne slept over. it was a good day!

18. Last person that you talked to on the phone: stefan

19. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender? style i guess

21. Fave Nsyncer? kate clauhs!

22. What is the nicest thing you've gotten this year? plaid chucks from tami.. hehe.. thank you :)

23. How do you eat an oreo? take it apart, eat the middle, then eat the cookies

24. Fav M&M;? blue

25. What makes you happy? snowboarding w/ the guys!!! thats the best. and punk rock shows. and having a big crush on someone.

27. Dream Boyfriend/Girlfriend? ethan embry ::drool::

28. Age? 16 and 5 days!

29. Hair color? dark blonde

30. Eye color? they change around in the blue/green ballpark

31. What school do you attend? pennridge

33. What do you like to play? scrabble, because i always win! (Sheri i'll have to take you on)

34. Who is your best guy friend? douggie b!

35. Dream Car? as long as its pink..

36. Have you ever won any special awards? ah not really i suck

38. What are your future goals? to go to pratt, hopefully be a writer, maybe work at a record label(that would be too cool), ummm hopefully just be happy

39. Who are your Best Friends? hmm.... doug, amber, chris, tami, alesandra, YOU =)

40. Who is the funniest person that you know? oh gosh.. well i guess things are always funniest to me when it's me and doug messing around, so i'm gonna say doug. chris is really funny too.

41. Fave month? ehh i dont know.

42. Fave girls perfume/body spray? roxy hula smells darn good

43. Fave guys cologne? the stuff chris wears, i forget what it's called.

44. Do you like to dance? yes!! it is so fun even though i am bad at it!

45. Fast or Slow? fast i guess, i hate waiting for stuff.

46. Are you shy to ask someone out? nah

47. Fave name brand Clothes? whatever i dunno

48. If you could change your name, what would you change it too? olivia

50. Do you sleep w/ a stuffed animal? sometimes.

51. Have you ever been in love? i dont even know. dont ask me that.

52. What is the stupidest thing that you have ever done? umm, actually i dont know, i've done so many stupid things. today i spit out the window of chris's car as we were driving a long and it whipped around and hit the back window, so thats my stupid move of the day.

53. What will your first son's name be? ethan

54. First daughter? olivia

55. Favorite drink? orange soda and yoohoo

56. Do you like scary or happy movies better? depends on the mood i am in

57. Night or day? night i guess

58. Summer or Winter? summer. its fannnnntastic.

59. Love or lust? looooooooove

61. Who do you like right now? gosh i dunno

62. Have you ever had an online romance? yeah me and james, booya baby booya. aint that right dorkcore? heheeh j/k

63. What do u think of this survey? it's helping to alleviate the boredom. so its fine by my standards.

64. Do you want your friends to survey back? yeah why not!

65. Who is least likely to respond? i dont know.

66. Who is most likely to respond? tami i would guess.

wasn't that fun! yeah! yeah! wow. i can't wait for tomorrow. i'm meeting everybody at coffee talk at 11. i can't wait. i am soooo excited. words cannot begin to express my excited-ness. hehehe. :) tommy, keith and sarah are coming to hang out with me on sunday, which will again, be fabulous. yay!

gosh... i don't know what to write... so i guess i'll check y'all later.

annie, try not to be too disgruntled while i'm gone... ;)

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Subject:	well, color me emo
Time:	7:15 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.
Music:	"Bad diary days" - pedro the lion.

i took the emo test :

You answered "yes" to 37 of 50 questions, with a total value of 40 points out of 53, making you 24.5% HAPPINESS pure (75.5% HAPPINESS corrupt); that is, you are 24.5% pure in the EMO domain (you have 75.5% EMO in you).
According to the scoring guide, your EMO experience level is: DEPRESSED!

that's weird, i'm definately not a depressed person, i would say i am more happy go lucky. hehe oh well whatever.

so, i guess i will have to censor my journal from now on b/c my dad saw the site in the history on our computer, looked at it, read my journal, printed out the last 2 weeks or so worth of entries, highlighted the "bad" parts and threw it in my face while yelling at me about it. yet more proof that my parents have no respect for me.

and dad, if you're reading this and i'm pretty sure you are, maybe you should stop wondering why i don't respect you all that much. give a little, get a little.

that's all....... day after tomorrow i'm going the beeeach!!! yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!! =P

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Subject:	I LOVE SUMMER!
Time:	10:21 am.
Mood:	energetic.
Music:	"the good fight" - dashboard confessional.

oh my god, i don't even know where to start, the last couple days have been nothing but FUN! yay! okay....

~ MONDAY ~ i had heard about one of those stupid local hardcore shows monday in the park, so i called dave to see if he was gonna go and his mom said he had just left to go there, so i went for lack of anything better to do. when i got there dave was just getting there and who was with him but ANNE!!! YAY! so the three of us just hung out at the stupid show for a while and walked down to the river and sat at this really pretty spot with stone benches and stuff. and i saw this guy who i've seen before at the shitty hardcore shows before and i think he's sooo freakin cute and i really wanted to talk to him but i was too scared (or stupid) so i didn't. but he was sitting there all by himself and everything, it woulda been perfect. but ohhh well. i think he's like 20. kinda old. haha, he seems so cool though. i think next time i see him i will say hi! yes! so anyway, after the show i went home at like 5 and anne and dave went back to daves. i had told them about a poetry reading i had that night at barnes and noble and they said they wanted to come. then i came online and i was talking to tommy and he said he would come! so we picked up dave and anne and met tommy there. (thanks so much for coming you guys!!!) the poetry reading was what is called a "poetry slam" where it goes in three rounds, eliminating people each time, until the third round consists of just 2 people. three judges are picked from the crowd to give each poem a score of 1-10. well, i made it to the third round, and i was against this little girl. she read a limerick. a freakin limerick! and she beat me b/c her sister was a judge and she gave her a 10 and she gave me an 8. everybody booed her score and stuff and was like "thats not fair!" but they couldnt really do anything about it. so i got second place but it was okay. the guy who was in charge wanted to talk to me and he told me that one of my poems was among the best he's ever read in my age group. and he gave me websites and told me to pursue writing and stuff, it made me happy :) after it all these people gave me hugs and told me i was good and stuff... it was soo rad. so i had asked anne if she could sleep over but then my mom said no b/c she was tired from the night before, so i slept over at anne's. it was soooo great. we stayed up really late and ate poptarts and had deep conversations haha and it was just all around fantastic! i met her brother, eric, who is extremely cool. anne's parents also kick ass. i think me and anne are gonna become really good friends, and this makes me happy. moving on......

~TUESDAY~ anne and i slept in till 11:00. this is extremely rare, i have a very hard time sleeping past 8:30, so that was awesome in my own pathetic little way. anne had a piano lesson at 2, so we just hung out, made french toast, played connect 4, etc. etc. till 2 oclock when we went to her lesson i just sat tehre and read while anne made beautiful music :) then my mom picked us up @ anne's at 2 and took us to doug's house. when we got there doug, jason henry and jon page were in teh barn playing pool. but then when we got there the five of us went swimming. doug has the best pool. i felt bad b/c i broke some goggles :( then brianne and alyson stopped by but they were only there for like 20 minutes and jason left with them. so then it was just doug, anne, jon and me left, so we decided to go play beach volleyball at the park across the street where there is a big volleyball court equipped with sand. that was really fun. we took the cd player we buried doug in the sand and left him there to go "get a camera," but we didn't come back. haha he came back to the pool like 20 minutes later all pissed off but he quickly got over it. hehe. anne's dad picked us up not long after that and we went back to anne's, where her mother made us delicious spaghetti for dinner. then we took her canoe out on lake nockamixon. this middle aged man went by us on a big boat and stared at us and when his boat passed ours he leaned out the back so he could blatantly stare at us some more. it was kinda freaky. anyway, we weren't the best at canoeing, i thought for sure we were gonna tip the canoe at some point, but we got the hang of it eventually. :) after that her dad took me home and it was like 8:45. i called chris at work and told him to come get me when he got off so we could hang out. he got there like 40 minutes later w/ adam and we drove around for an hour blasting sublime, then they took me home. chris is coming in an hour and we're gonna go to the chinese all you can eat buffet and then go swimming at dougs... it appears to be the beginning of another goooood day! yippee!

i begged you not to go
i begged you
i pleaded
i claimed you as my only hope
and watched the floor as you retreated.
~dashboard confessional ~
(isn't that sad?)

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Subject:	poems.
Time:	1:59 pm.
Mood:	excited.
Music:	"the best deceptions" - dashboard confessional.

tonight there's a poetry reading @ Barnes & Noble that i'm gonna go to. i'm reading these 2 and i don't know what the third one will be yet. i'm kinda nervous. my mom is going. i don't think these are really that good, but i haven't read them to other people yet, so they will do for tonight.

Late at Night, Missing You

You gave me
so many words
plagued by
discrepancies
an offering of emptiness
thrust upon me like a gem
underneath
the gleam
stood the dormant and
inevitable
t i c k -
t o c k i n g clock
of a landmine
and when that clock says
2:22
the glowing digits mock me with the certainty they possess
the telephone is useless
and the ceiling is
blank
I haven't forgotten the soul and secrets bared
clutching the receiver
late at night
missing You.

Coming Clean

please step back
and look for happiness
Everyone knows
who you are.
do you feel their whispered daggers?
your armor glistens
with doubt
you skillfully wield a sword
� composed of words
can you count the spent h o u r s
deciding who to
be?
maybe you should discover who you are.
i could point out your Flaws,
each and every one
pick you to the bone
dissect your Insecurities
stamp the letter and mail it
classify it as a shame,
or could it be a blessing?
you already know what I am going to say.
�i've heard that coming clean is AlwayS the hard part.

silly livejournal doesnt indent.

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Subject:	partyyyy
Time:	10:47 am.
Mood:	cheerful.
Music:	"this brilliant dance" - dashboard confessional.

my party was lots of fun. it kinda sucked that my birthday is in the summer b/c lots of people couldn't make it. but, besides that, it was pretty cool. i got to see sarah, mihail, tommy and keith which was awesome. they came first and left last! two highlights of the evening where:
1. mihail yelling "OH FUCK" when we were eating berries loud enough for the neighbors to hear
2. mihail comically (sp?) grabbing my ass at the same time my dad walked into the room..
it was funny.
i felt bad because towards the end doug was feeling very down because anne wasn't really talking to him and he was sooo psyched to see her since she was in italy for 2 weeks. doug is the coolest, but so is anne... he's gonna call her today i hope they work stuff out
also hanging out with mike was really great. he's one of those people that when i'm with him i just feel so happy for the people i'm lucky enough to know and have a friendship with, he's just an extremely awesome person.
it was really cool when everybody had left but tommy, mihail, sarah, keith, mike, doug and me. we were just sitting there looking at the stars and talking about stuff. it was a nice ending to the day.
one of the stranger parts of the evening was seeing matt. i really didn't expect him to come. i thought it would make me miss him, but it didn't. it was just kinda cool to see him, it's been a really long time. it kinda made me mad though that he brought up some of our jokes. he gave me a cd that has a really sweet song on it that he used to say reminded him of me. and when he gave it to me he was like "it has california and you on it... awww.. thats sad" that kinda pissed me off. i felt like saying "funny how it never meant anything to you" but i didn't.
also, erin and owen hooked up. its kinda funny, people are never who you really think they are. i thought erin was "done with 15 year olds, they're so immature, she can do so much better and she doesn't like punks anyway" well i guess not. it's not like i expected her to actually go for someone her own age anyway. i'm just kinda mad about this. i wonder what she would do if i hooked up with guillermo. i'm sure she'd never speak to me again. but whatever, people are never who you really think they are anyway. lately i had just been feeling like owen and i might have had something again, or maybe it really never went away, but whatever, i guess i was wrong.

although i have only really written about the bad things, the party was definately cool. starlit dream played, well just josh and stefan, but they were awesome. also, my parents didn't get mad at me alllll day which was extremely cool. well i guess thats all i have to say. thanks to everyone who came to my party and stuff, it was rad :)

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