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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2001
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12:01 am - Nirvana - Stay Away... (enough said)
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Monkey See, monkey do
I don't know why I'd rather be dead than be cool
Every line ends in rhyme
Less is more, love is blind
Stay away
Give an inch, take a smile
Fashion shits, fashion style
Throw it out and keep it in
Have to have poison skin
Stay away
God is gay, burn the flag
current mood: secluded
current music: 7mary3-wait
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, July 2nd, 2001
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11:47 pm - this song is how i feel right now. Staind - Suffocate
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I feel nothing
Longing for something
Lie in bed to take your clothes off
Show me what you're made of
Drugs to soothe me
(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate
I'm not gifted
Slightly twisted
Try hard try hard
To see if I can push you any further
Drugs to soothe me
(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate
Please believe you'll save me, rearrange me
I can feel your feelings running through me
Take away my sorrow my tomorrow
Heal me
(All alone)
Leave me here I'm dying
(All alone)
Just kicked me in my face
(All alone)
All alone and crying
(All alone)
I suffocate
I'm suffocating
SUFFOCATE (come suffocate)
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Tool - Schism
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(comment on this)
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11:26 pm - here ya go DAD..
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Ha, Ha, Ha!
I see your faces and I do not understand why
each time I dream you're standing there right by my side.
Why do you make me? You take my pride
and in my eyes you kinda rape me... inside
I have no place to run and hide
I have no place to hide, which I like
Some will look at the time I looked back into my life.
You wanna touch me to see what's in my eyes.
Why do you make me, remember my hate, all this shame?
Don't you hate me? ... sometimes?
I have no place to run and hide.
I have no place to hide, which I like.
I have no place to run so come on follow me
I have no place to run
Which I like... I like
I have no place to run and hide.
I have no place to hide, which I like. (x2)
current mood: locked up
current music: buckcherry - tonight (or some shit like that)
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(comment on this)
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11:22 pm - more lyrics i like. Korn - its gonna go away .. hopefully, right?
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Fu.., fu.. fu.., I got this bad cold
And I got a life, I live it up
I live it up
(It's gonna go away)
I don't want this to go away
I'm so scared
(oh so cared)
I can't think of going on
We all crumble
We crumble under pressure
(pressure)
Pressure
(pressure)
(It's still gonna go away)
.... go live it up
We're livin it up
current mood: ready to fucking run away/die
current music: lifehouse - hanging by a moment
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(comment on this)
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11:18 pm - this song made me cry. i was at Jason's house. and he played it. now i love it. Korn-Daddy
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Mother please forgive me
I just had to get out all my pain and suffering
Now that I am done, remember I will always love you
I'm your son
Little child, looking so pretty
Come out and play, I'll be your daddy
Innocent child, looking so sweet
A rape in my eyes and on your flesh I'll eat
You've raped!
I feel dirty
It hurt!
As a child
Tied down!
That's a good boy
And fucked!
Your own child
I scream!
No one hears me
It hurt!
I'm not alive [not a lie]
My God!
Saw you watching
Mommy why?!
Your own child
It's alright
I didn't touch you there
Mama said she didn't care
I didn't touch you there
That's why mama stopped and stared
I fucking hate you! Mother fucker!
Mother Fucker! I fucking hate you! Fuck You!
You son of a bitch, you fucking ruined my life!
I wanted to die!
I'm sick of it, mother fucker . . . oh oh
Why'd you fuck'n do it to me?
I Hate You!
I Fuck'n Hate You!
I Hate You!
Piece of shit!
Why?!
I Hate You!
current mood: fucking depressed & annoyed
current music: staind - its been awhile
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(4 comments |comment on this)
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10:35 pm - HAHA...my dad sucks. and thinks im a crackhead whore. yay. "i am whatever you say i am.."
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wow. my dad has been invading my privacy and reading my PERSONAL ONLINE JOURNAL. wow. don't you *love* family? ha. and they wonder why i *LOVE* my friends and don't love them. shiiiit. i wish my fucking dad would fucking stop invading my life, if he wants to be in *any* part of it at all, period. but oh well. fuck everyone. if you don't like it, fuck you, cuz i could fucking careless about anyone right now, except some MOTHER FUCKING FRIENDS!
thus you have a edited version of the entry i would like to post. but i won't. cuz i'm nice.
=-)
current mood: fuck everyone
current music: Fuel - Bad Day (i know RIGHT!)
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
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5:43 pm - yo yo yo. *YOU MIGHT NOT WANNA READ THIS*
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hey. hows it goin?
haha.
my homeboy Jason is coming to see me from Canyon Lake (i live in San Antonio, its like 30-45 mins. away.)
I'mma hook him up with 3 oz.
Then we're gonna PAR-TAY.
damn. last night i was *SO* fucking drunk and high.
i went to this party and didn't really know anybody. shit was fucking cool though. free beer and weed, hell yes motherfucker. thats a *true* friend. ahahaha.
uh. i know trisha is gonna call me even *more* of a *whore* but i had sexual intercourse last night, too.
haha.
just so i dont forget
Jon Michael (*Mike*):
6-24-01
^-like a million times on Lushon's floor in his bedroom. i have rug burn on my knees like a motherfucker-^
Chris (Jacob's cousin):
6-24-01 & 6-25-01 *morning*
uh. his bed. didn't hurt. but we sure did fuck a lot. damn we were goin' at it for hours.
thats all for now.
HAHA. i'm a whore.
oh, and by the way...
me and Jason... hehe
once again. i'm a whore.
current mood: tire-excited-ammused-fucked up
current music: la la. i'm listening to a 'WENDY'S 'late night'" commercial.
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(6 comments |comment on this)
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| Monday, June 25th, 2001
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6:55 pm - i like e-mails.
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not fwds: but actual *cool* e-mails.
somebody cool e-mail me!
MzKoKaNe@webtv.net
i love you.
bye now.
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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6:41 pm - i *know* you wanna know about this...
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ok. yesterday was Chris's (spikey hair dude that i've messed with) birthday was yesterday. so we had a party. everything was great. well, for me. cuz John Michael aka Mike was there. oOoOOo. yum.
anyways.
to make a long story short.
i popped 140 miligrams of Valium, drank a lil drinky, and then i had my fun with Mike.
i got laid.
of course, there was drama, b/c Jacob is jealous as a motherfucker. but fuck him. cuz i like Mike. damnit. its friends or nothing with Jacob.
But anyways, i've in a great mood, i'm most likely gonna get fucked up with Jacob's cousin Chris tonight and who knows what'll happen. i wish i could see Mike right now.
MmMmMmm....he's deeee-lish. he's got a lip ring. i likes.
but enough of that. chris keeps calling me telling me they got 2 kegs already and lbz of weed...and more "shit" to do.
so, i gotta take a shower...and get ready..
i'll letcha know what happens..
much love to my peoples!
current mood:  excited
current music: Disturbed
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 24th, 2001
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8:07 pm - oh fuck yeah.
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i am happy as hell.
tonight i don't have to come home.
there's a party im going to.
i'm gonna get drunk, high as a mofo, pop valium, and god knows what else.
i look good, feel good, and everything is goin' GREAT.
i'm feelin' freaky and excited.
damn.
i rock.
do you feel the love?
cuz I FEEL THE LOVE!
well, i gotta go PAR-TAY!
and Brian. why aint i in mexico with you? bastard.
hehe
*LiX*
current mood: freaky
current music: shaggy- that uh "i need a freaky girl" song
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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3:08 pm - GO HERE... cuz its ME...
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2001
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10:33 pm - i stole this from chic who stole it from some other bitch. ha.
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Personal..
1. Today's Date: it *should* say on the damn entry, but itsJune 23, 2001-Saturday-
2. Astrological Sign: ARIES!
3. Eye Color: uh. sometimes they're brown, sometimes, green, and even...yes. sometimes they mix and make hazel.
4. Hair Color: blue
5. Distinguishing Marks: Well, i have an enormous amount of scars on my arms/hands... i have a scar on my right eyebrow from when i was born (the motherfucking Dr. cut me... asshole)
Favorites....
6. A color you like to wear (not fav color): blue...orange..siver...dark ass marroon...khaki
7.A flower you would like to grow in your garden: uh. weed?
8. Your lucky number: i wish i actually had one. i usually *LIE* and say some dumbass number like, "69,68,420,419.187,50,504.3.13)
9.A city you would like to visit:
sometimes i know that answer, but now i don't. and if you ask me *again*... i'll kill you.
11. Music you prefer to listen to when alone: everything. i guess. i even like that N Sync song "pop". but i mean, i love bands like manson, staind, tool, SUBLIME, 311, Blink 187. and i <3 rap and r&b;, as well.
12. The best sex music: ha. something to get your mind off of who your fucking...
13. The singer or band(s) you listen to most: uh. staind. sublime. manson. 311.
14. A movie you can watch over and over: KIDS.. (ha. thats for you trisha) no. Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, or half baked or cheech and chong.
15. Your favorite outfit... fuck dude. i love my ATARI shirt or m SLIP and SLIDE shirt, and my face pants are like my strecthy tight denim pants or my button up jeans... and everything else i wear rocks.
16. Your favorite place to sit at home: in my bed sleeping or in my dad's room when he's not home on the internet (which rarely ever fucking happens...cuz im never home)
17. Something you like to do on a Sunday: dude. no.
19. YOur watch: its some awesome ass blue Timex watch that has an eightball type thing on it and everything, it rules.
20. Your cologne or perfume: i change it a lot. now i wear some shimmery shit i got at Pamida. i love it.
21. If you could afford it right now, you would buy: a brand new car including a license, lots of fucking drugs, and "too much" money.
22. Your strangest posession:
probably my 3-legged dog, if she's a "possession"...
23. YOur prized possesion: my teddy bears, my drugs and uh my vibrator....
ha. or not.
24. YOur most expensive possesion: my drugs are cheap, but they have the potential to be VERY expencesive. otherwise fuck you.
25. If your house was on fire and you could only save 3 items what would they be: my illegal possesions, pictures, and a box of shit i "cherish"
26. Three traits you look for in a friend: someone *not* like me, but who *likes* me...heh
no. music. style. attitude.
27. Friend you have known longest: That i still keep in touch with? probably Trisha...
28. Friend you miss the most:
Trisha...Natalya..
29. Who makes you laugh: or not.
30. Who do you go to for advice:
someoen who cares.
31. YOur closest friends: im not gonna list *all* of them. but Trisha, Natalya, Brittany, Iris, Cassie, Scott, Patrick, Jacob, and uh.
32. One trait you admire in each of them: the way they are.
33. The friend that uses most of your energy: who knows.
34. your three best qualities: i listen. i act confident.and im a "sexy bitch".
35. three worst qualities: loud, annoying, and lazy.
36. Three things you are often complimented for: my hair, my "confidence", and eyes
37. A compliment you got that made you blush: When a certain friend tells me how confident i am and how it makes him and all his friends "want me".
38. YOu get embarassed when: when i wear pants that would show stains easily, like khaki. and then i get my period and dont know it until its *too late*.
39. Makes you happy: friends, drugs, cruising listening to music, & sleeping.
40. Upsets you: everything.
41. If you didn't have commitments what would you do: uh. i like staind. they're on the radio. yay.
Yes or NO....
42. YOU keep a diary: uh.
43. YOu like to cook: i CAN cook.
44. YOU have a secrect you have not shared with anyone: yes.
45. You fold your underwear: i dont fold anything, usually, i just stuff it in the dryer until all the wrinkles and shit are out.
46. You talk in your sleep: sometimes.
47. YOu eat fast: haha. no i eat slow.
48. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: my watch has a min dof its own.
49. You believe in love: haha.
50. You bit your fingernails: yeah, when im extremely bored.
THUS YOU HAVE MY SURVEY
current mood:  calm
current music: Eve 6 - Here's to the night Staind- its been awhile
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(comment on this)
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8:01 pm - hmm. look what i did.
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| Friday, June 22nd, 2001
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9:20 am - the sky is fallin'...aint no need to panic.
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hello.
i'm LeAnn and i'm up TOO MOTHERFUCKING EARLY!
damnit.
i dyed my hair blue again. so, now i supose you'd say its "more" blue then is was "before".
I'm going to Six Flags soon.
That should be *great* since i'll be riding everything with my 11 yr. old fucking whore of a sister.
damnit, she's like scared of the line to get on the swing ride.
heh
uh. i look all "nice" today.
I have *really fucking blue* hair and i'm wearing Jon's white adidas visor, my anarchy shirt (on fire), some jeans, and a lot of blue "ack-sess-a-reez".
i love my blueness.
MWUAHHHHHHHHHH.
-LaTe-
(oh gosh. i feel like having a cheap ass orange soda. boy. do i wish i had cheap ass orange soda. oh wait. i do. i rock.)
current mood:  hungry
current music: I AM LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BIRD. bitch.
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(4 comments |comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 21st, 2001
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11:01 pm - uh.
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damn... i swear, yesterday and today have been too fucking much for my ass.
i cut myself last night. i'm not sure why, i guess i'm just fucked up in the head and get some sort of sick pleasure out of cutting my arm.
and get this, my excuse is, "its my reality check, yo...i just do it".
well, im sorry, but i need help.
i'm gonna kill somebody. Too many people are tryin to depend on me and make ME handle their problems for 'em.
well, i got news for 'em...
i'm not all there enough to take on that sort of responsibility.
oh my god.
i can't even spell.
i'll go more into it when i can actually be online for more than like 10 minutes, if i'm lucky.
but i'll get detailed on...
LeAnn's Daily Drama
Grrrrrrrrrr!
I hate it when my dad bitches at me... motherfucker. i hate family.
i fuckin' do, yo.
They think you owe them something when you DON'T.
man. i am NOT gonna put up with this shit anymore.
i'm gonna kill my dad.
motherfucker is bitching at me at this VERY moment about a fucking cell phone bill and my god damn "pole" bill...
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..
when will he fucking shut up?
tell me... WHENNNNNNN!?!?!?!??!?
later...
current mood:  stressed
current music: staind
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
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3:28 pm - D R U G S = G O O D
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so, pardon me? while i burst into the flames...
damn.
i want a lot of drugs.
i feel like taking everything.
i want the visuals and altered-realityness!
damnit.
oh. did i tell you that Chris is over at Lushon's? *gasps*
Uh, i think he thinks that me and him have something going on, but we don't...i feel bad.
god damnit.
oh well. life goes on.
*head bangs*
current mood:  thirsty
current music: 7mary3-Wait
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(3 comments |comment on this)
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3:21 pm - i like..... linkin park.
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Graffiti decorations
Under the sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learned were never true
Now I find myself in question
They point the finger at me again
Guilty by association
You point the finger at me again
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Pre-chorus
Chorus
I'm gonna run away, and never say goodbye
Gonna run away (2x)
I'm gonna run away and never wonder why
Gonna run away (2x)
I'm gonna run away and open up my mind
Gonna run away (4x)
Chorus
I wanna run away and open up my mind (Repeat until end)
current mood:  tired
current music: uh. a commercial on the radio. 99.5 kiss fm. ROCK BABY ROCK!
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(8 comments |comment on this)
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3:01 pm - damn.
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i haven't had sex in awhile.
i wanted to wait, until, like, uh... i dont know.. just wait.
but today. i feel like having sex. haha.
that sounds all retarded.
well, i know this dude Jon, well, i'd have sex with him. heh
And i'd have sex with this dude that works at Journey's at the North Star Mall...
And Brian... =-)
heh
Well, i'm bored.
i think i'm gonna finish mowing the backyard...and then i'll take a shower... and who knows what'll happen...
Jacob just called me, he said he's got the weed. oh yay, thats something new...heh
But he said he's gotta take care of some business...so uh, i guess if we dont have 'Cid, then we'll get fucked up some other way.
oh christ. i need a cigarette.
current mood:  mischievous
current music: Korn-Got The Life *remix*
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
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11:42 pm - OoOoO..i need a DIRTY WOMAN!..heh
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I'm sitting... uh on the floor? waiting for a call or something, to entertain me.
I'm wearing... my black caffeine pants with blue strappy things and my Sublime-L.B.C shirt..and my BLUE SUNGLASSES that match my BLUE HAIR! ha.
The taste on my tongue is... newports. yum?
The time of day... 11:47 p.m.
The other people in the house are... my 11 yr. old sister.
Tomorrow I am going to... trip and take valium and hang out with Jacob at his cousin's or at Lushons..either way, i'm trippin'! heheheheheheh yay!
I need to... smoke a cigarette.
By the end of the summer I plan on... jumping off a bridge..heh or like doing something.
I always get confused by... people and they're opinions..
I miss... well, Trisha said "my leannie."..and i miss her too... so "My trishie!" and "my iris".. cuz i do i do i dooooo.
If I could change one thing about me it would be... nothing. i feel fine about myself right now. heh
The best feeling in the world is... valium! OoOoO, i like it a lot. hehe
Something that always makes me smile is... lots of drugs. and cool people.
I want to... trip and take valium and find a million dollars and be happy happy happy. yay.
My most life altering moment so far...
Giving that I had 46 billion dollars... i'd have a big ass crackhouse with lots of drugs and cool hippies and just cool people and shit... and i'd be fucking rich. not just rich. but FUCKING RICH! (it sounds like i'm saying "you're fucking rich!"...like rich is a dude or something. but i'm not.
My one regret... i don't regret things. ever.
While traveling on a trip around the world the 1st place I would stop would be... amsterdam (i agree with trisha)
Most people don't realize it but... i'm not a person to ask for shit. like if your starving, dont ask me for food. cuz im dumb. and mean. heh...(i just said that cuz i have nothing better to say, so fuck you motherfucker!)
If I had to wear one shirt for the rest of my life it would be...probably my fucking ATARI SHIRT!! i LOVE that shirt. dude, Cassie bought me the same exact ATARI shirt that i lost. i love her. i was so happy. and the guy that sold it to us gave us a $5 discount and gave me a free shirt. he was hottttt as fuck. i love him.
I don't believe I really know... anything. (once again, i agree with trisha)
While sitting at a table sipping fine wine I glance over to discover... what the hell. bitch.
I don't believe... in anything. god. you. me. her. him. it. yes. thats right asshole.
In conclusion to this lil thing I just filled out I'd like to say... i love you. have sex with me, okay?
heh
current mood:  energetic
current music: Pink Floyd-that dirty woman song...heh.. NIN...i like nin.
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(6 comments |comment on this)
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11:39 pm - when its over...can i still come over? and when its over..is it really over?
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drained
blank
loved