Sunday, February 17th, 2002
|
|
2:07 am - sometimes it's better biting your finger when your head hurts
|
i was transported to lots of places tonight. france, china & india. i met rehka from bombay who writes scripts for bollywood movies (and what shame it was, cus i have never found an opportunity to watch them nor was he was there) i would have burst into song with donnie (or was it daniel) & rehka singing the theme song of nuri (or what i think it was) and i realised how bad my mandarin is. so bad it's incomprehendable. and i was too tired for anything. or maybe too quiet. or maybe i'm in the mood of listening and not speaking. and everyone's changing partners like in a party or somewhat. and all i do is sit and wait for people to come out for some fresh air and speak to me.
i love my newly acquried coat and i think i can wear it until everyone starts begging me to stop wearing it. i want to buy some more new shoes but i remember somewhere from the back of my little brain that it's bad luck to buy shoes during the month of the new year somehow but i forgot why.
my head hurts. save me. (i shouldn't have did that joint with the nonstop flown of red wine) i will flung myself on that bed of mine and imagine i'm bouncing back ten feet from my bed into the air.
current mood: & i never had hangovers
|
|
(2 comments |comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
|
|
2:50 am - i like you when you're a little drunk
|
stayed at home hibernating from the crowds of people who have to be in the street just cus they feel they need to. the platforms of the mtr stations are strangely vacant & i could imagine people going up on the ground instead of underground. i listened to many conversations of people on their way home for family dinner talking about work and other miscellany which is quite an entertainment. and went straight a bottle of bailey's with rebs after the dinner at grandmother's place (yee man, if i ask you not to dye your hair, will you listen to grandma?) we sat at the back staircase with 23 on the wall chain smoking and drinking from our bowls and plastic cups with ice in a plastic bag and i thought of sitting in a tree swinging my leg with my plastic cup of baileys on the rocks.
i cannot sleep with the shouts and talking of people at the streets, it is always like that before chinese new year. i wanted to go and get a helium balloon but i always forget. on my way home i remembered how i used to accidently let my balloons go (twice in the same day) and time will suddenly stop and people will all look up for one minute until the balloon disppears from their sight. my dad got fed up of buying me balloons because they always fly away. and i miss kites and balloons and everything with a string that floats which i can hold onto.
thankyou for making people think that we are ________.
current mood: red eyes & cheeks
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Monday, February 11th, 2002
|
|
12:28 pm - i think i always knew that i love the grass & never looked straight
|
|
|
Sunday, February 10th, 2002
|
|
2:01 am - do you like my tight sweater?
|
i am always hungry these days. and i met vanessa who is never hungry for sleep on Friday and sat with her by the bench for two straight hours. sometimes i crave soury foods and people wonder if i'm pregnant, i'm just pregnant with boredom and little moments. after work i went to buy a jar of preserved garlic at the dim lit shop who seemed to want to close the outsiders (from tai kok tsui) away. i opened the lid and crunched those garlic like crisps while walking & not forgetting to suck my fingers for the soury waters that soaked them. (& the bottle leaked & i came home with a soury bag)
-
people can never stop staring right thru me (like i'm a newborn baby) so much that heidi is annoyed walking alongside me. we wonder why couldn't they stop having their question mark faces and everything. today/night i got so many things i wanted & not regret not getting something & not able to find it tomorrow. i know i'm going to just leave those shopping bags for weeks and days unopened. but maybe i will go and hang my purchases for a change.
( sometimes people like details )
current mood: appropriate
|
|
(6 comments |comment on this)
|
|
Thursday, January 31st, 2002
|
|
11:54 pm - thoughts in a corner of a room
|
i got baby soft hair today. the hairdresser tried for the second time round to persuade me to straighten my hair (nono i'm not a straighthair girl) and it's boring to have perfect hair everyday. on tuesday we went to watch fucking amal & went to have nice homey chinese food that my mum nor my grandmother can ever make. we starved ourselves too much, i feel both hungry & full all at once. the night reminded me of many things. big and small, but mostly small mudane things. i tried not to drink that night and this week (but i couldn't refuse a glass of wine at christian's art opening) i mingled with people & scribbled mani's email address on my pack of ciggarettes. (i remember how her big wide eyes could speak)
headaches on a fucking cycle these days. everything seems dead everywhere. school. the streets. everywhere. meg & i escaped from school & we could feel each other's weariness (sighs & complaints & everything). the silence on that bus is soothing sleep. i went to seek refuge in the book store. and felt inspired looking at fancy photo books. i spend too much time in hong kong side, and i remembered how only in kowloon side has those buses without air conditioning, i waited for the next bus (just because it's cheaper) to get back home & a lovely old man talked to me about magazines & what mags we read. he talked about fashion & so many funny things. he thanked me 3 times before he got off the bus & i waved at him when the bus drove off.
the end of the month, the start of month & i'm tired of being out & these days i just go home straight after school. it sounds boring but i enjoy the boredom of having something waiting for you at home (even if it's nothing). and wanting to be at home.
current music: the beta band
|
|
(1 comment |comment on this)
|
|
Monday, January 28th, 2002
|
|
1:22 am - and two rides on taxis back home. and things never go as planned
|
i'm getting a bit too wasted this week. i've drank way too much baileys and smoked too many packs of japanese import cigarettes. depressing damp cold weather makes me want to curl up and just retreat and hide from people. all of a sudden it takes ages for me to get ready to go to school. i never know what i want to wear or feel like wearing. i'm starting to miss classes and it's just the first week of school. (and school is indeed tiring)
hung out with the bonster at her place, on my way i bought some tulips for her mum for her birthday. i didn't really care if she likes tulips because i just felt like it. strolled a long way along the waterfront. took off my shoes because my demure white flats hurt too much. and pretended to be a gymnast on the wooden benches. (dry cold wood. jump from this bench to that. bare foot woman child.) and bonnie just said 'you wished'
i went to a dinner party at john's place. got embarrassingly late because of my painful feet which made me extremely grumpy and impatient and i got off the wrong bus stop. i have thus decided to learn how to socialise with people. i listened to what they were talking about. but most of the time i was just listening to conversations and smoking and drinking red wine instead of making conversations. a quiet cold night with the sound of electronic motor cars at the park.
current mood: waiting
|
|
|
|
Sunday, January 20th, 2002
|
|
1:14 am - blandness and walking mechanical robots
|
photographic expeditions these days. yesterday it was the beach (despite the bad bad weather), at least it was a short adventure and it made me miss him. today me and jessie went to red ants for good rice and mushrooms. lovely day at the park and my place, walking and running in the playground like a five year old. (i run when there's an empty swing) and it seems that the winter winds are coming back. (just right for my new winter coat)
i spent too much today on magazines/cds and stockings (me and bonnie). school starts this monday, and i feel like being a new person. two weeks of not drinking and i'm getting drunk with one beer.
( mock us (harharhar) )
current mood: settled
|
|
(7 comments |comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, January 15th, 2002
|
|
9:29 pm - sometimes i write about days and days ago
|
starting to recover from virus infection (15 hours sleep) i bought a winter coat at last & now i wish it would be colder this week, just enough for me to put it on. the air these days are heavy with rain and secrets, it drags me down and suffocates me. (i would prefer rainyrainy days than days that seem to want to rain but does not. halfway dangling humid days.)
the sky was magnificent on sunday when i was on the train to the new territories. rows and rows of precious white cotton in the blue. i was surprised like an unexpected farmer, staring at the sky, watching it move when the sky and the train moved. everything seemed to be prefect and i was on time for work for once. i think it must have been the clouds that made me skip when walking.
current music: zero seven
|
|
(1 comment |comment on this)
|
|
