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LiveJournal for billet-doux.
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| Tuesday, March 19th, 2002 |
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Why is it Nabokov and Shoegazing are making such a comeback? This is all too frustrating. I give up. I'm so ill-timed. And reading lolita does not make you a Nabokov fan, okay? |
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| The Talking Heads played their first live gig together in 18 years last night. | ||||||
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| Monday, March 18th, 2002 |
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(03:12) Keith: i just wish there was time to make this really good, instead of just plain done.(03:12) Me: well, there will be.(03:12) Keith: there isn't(03:12) Me: we don't TURN OVER the materials until next wednesday.(03:12) Me: I already told them that this was tight and we wanted to eek out as much possible from the time.(03:13) Me: and that friday's present may not be fully done, and we'd want the weekend.(03:13) Me: It means work lots, but there is time.(03:13) Keith: not for it to be 'great'(03:16) Me: a wise buddhist philosopher once told me, I think we were in Bali, that greatness is not a product of time, but of inspiration and faith. I have never been to Bali. I made up that quote. I am going to make up buddhist quotes and attribute them to great philosophers from now on when I need to make a point. |
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I lost my slippers and I now accidentally have 2 subscriptions to ID magazine. I'm getting old. |
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| Friday, March 15th, 2002 |
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| why do I only focus on the negative? | ||
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| Thursday, March 14th, 2002 |
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| oh, yes. And, for those new to the journal, Abby and Abigail are two different people. | ||||
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It's beautiful outside. I feel funny. Abby is sitting at my main computer, and I'm in my comfy chair on my Powerbook. We are both writing in our journals. So Henry and Anais. ( Read more... ) |
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| Wednesday, March 13th, 2002 |
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I stayed home for the first time in more than 2 weeks last night, and I feel MORE hung over, MORE coughy and MORE headachy than I do when I go out for a night of serious drinking. I hate being sick. |
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| Saturday, March 9th, 2002 |
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I've said it before, I'll say it again. Her Space Holiday have the hottest fan base on earth right now. |
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| Sunday, March 3rd, 2002 |
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| Is there a reason that grocery stores put their fresh bread in porous bags, so that it goes hard 1 day after you've bought it? Is it just a vast conspiracy?? | ||||||||
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| Friday, March 1st, 2002 |
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"well guys, I tried." "you can't do it?" "no, I can't do it." Jussi puts her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. It's better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all." "thank you." "I mean, in twenty years, how would you feel if you didn't try?" "Yeah. There is that." "In twenty years, you'll be able to say 'I tried. that was all I could do.'" "That will be really important to me then." "yes. Yes it will. But for now, you have to move on." |
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I saw the most horrific, brutal, head-on car wreck/suicide in my dream last night. I saw the body. That's death-and-destruction dreams six nights in a row. I used to be such a nice boy. |
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| Thursday, February 28th, 2002 |
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| Dr. Dennett also shared the secret of happiness. "Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it," he said. | ||||
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— Hey Tony. — Hey Rick. — How are you? Tony holds his Stella Artois, looks sternly at me, and shakes his head. — Oh come on! No Better? Tony shakes head again. — Oh I know. You're doing better, but you don't want to admit you're doing better. — Well, you know. — You are doing a little better, aren't you. — Well, you know. — Yeah, I know. You don't want to admit you're doing any better, because then — boom! — all your friends think you're doing better, and they forget to be nice to you. — Exactly, you know! I mean, yeah, okay, I'll be honest, you know, I'm doing a little bit better. — Well, good. — But, you know, I mean, yeah. The friends thing. That's a bummer. — Don't I know it, man. You get a little bit better, you want to try and adjusting to the real world again, and you're friends are off like a prom dress. You're right as rain, as far as they are concerned, and all the friendship you were relying on is gone. — Totally, man. But, then, you know, I mean, you're putting your friends out, so you gotta wean yourself off of it. — Very true sir. Honestly, you know, if our friends could hold out like an extra week or two when we're down, and not send you to twist in the wind as soon as possible, we wouldn't have to mope around pretending we're worse than we are — Totally! You know??! — I hear ya. My theory is "fuck it, let's drink. You can't second guess this shit." — Oh, I dunno, man, I mean, I can't do that when she's here. Tony motions to Christine. — What? Why? — Well, you know, I mean, I don't want her to fuckin go back and report that I'm not SAD. — Oh, what, because, like, then Tammy will see you're not really SAD? — Well, yeah... — And then she'll like think that all your love isn't REAL? — Well, yeah. I mean, now that you're saying it, yeah, or subconscious can operate in mysterious ways. — Yeah, I mean, I do that too, but that shit is SO un-second-guess-able. I mean, is she gonna be MORE prone to come back to you if you're SAD? I mean, I would posit she'd probably be more upset if you were HAPPY. That's how I am. (NOTE: Annie has a rule that whenever I use the word "posit," she stops talking then and there.) — Yeah, totally! — AND — not only THAT — I mean, do you even fuckken WANT her back anymore!? — TOTALLY! But I'm still sitting here trying to get her back by moping. — Yeah, man! We all do it. But it doesn't do us any good. — Too fukken right. What are you gonna fuckken do? — Fucked if I know. — I should just have a good time. — Probably. Let's get a drink. What are you having? Tony holds up his Stella glass. Pulp thumps in the background. — Word. |
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| Tuesday, February 26th, 2002 |
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call me insane, but I am getting a bit tired of lots of people who have never been there developing opinions about what to do in ANWR. My entire adult life I've been reading about this. And in that entire time, I have read/heard from exactly two people who have been there. Ted Stevens and my sister. Everyone else can shut up, please. |
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2002 |
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I feel good that the shaggy, rockin', sex, love interest in crossroads and I have the same acoustic guitar. People always give me shit for my Taylor Big Baby -- but hey. It's america, it's hard wood, and good enough for Brittany's beau, good enough for me. |
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2002 |
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Happy Anais Nin's birthday, everyone.... Saw Concrete Blonde, AND the Brian Jonestown Massacre last night -- two different shows. Then I went to Man Ray. I tried to make it to Lush after that -- I was getting into this academic frenzy abotu making it to four clubs in a night. But it didn't work, it closed early. Sigh. Bad shit going down -- Matty apparantly cracked and threatened Abby and a bunch of other people with a knife. Again. Whee. At least Em wasn't there. Of course the first thing I think is how wrong it is that I can't be there for her through this. When major shit happens -- when life-changing things happen, the true nature of my feelings always come out. And the petty stuff just seems pointless. I have lots of work to do today. |
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| Friday, February 15th, 2002 |
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Valentine's day turned out all right. Who would have thought it? I had decided to just ignore it, really, and so did Judi. Throughout the day, though, it slowly started seeping in. First  lunadea was telling me about all her nonsensical ecards she was sending, so I sent one to Judi proclaiming my love of Canada. Then I wanted to find some cynical, either anti-valentines or just bleak, ecards — like the cards @ Flyrabbit that she and i used to go and read. Cards that say things like "I never liked you anyway" or "I am leaving this sham of a relationship." Good stuff. julishka helped me out with finding some good cynical online equivalents (she said she had to put the word 'jaded' into her google search). First I found a really good one saying "you were my true love, but then you got married," so I duly sent that off to Abigail. (which, I found out later in the day, turned out to be the ONLY valentine she got this year. How perfect is that?)And then finally I found the perfect one: "thinking of your cruel heart and how your lies broke me." And so I sent it off. It seemed fitting. My comment was "I was too lazy to go to Flyrabbit." I suppose that's a little mean, but hey, it was funny to me. Something's happening, things are changing. ( Read more... ) |
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002 |
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there are dorito crumbs on my aeron chair. I feel like JG. |
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But, ironically, they're not. I loaned Lisa a book called idols of perversity: images of feminine evil in fin-de-siecle culture a while back, and she took a factoid out of it for her Playboy article, and she referred the fact-checker to me because I own the book. I told him: well, yeah, that sounds like something that would be in that book. I looked in the index for "panties" and "underwear," but no luck. I haven't read it in ten years, and the chapter titles are things like "the nymph with the broken back" and "the torried wail of the sirens" so it's hard to find a specific fact. want me to mail it to you? So now I keep getting emails from a guy named Chip at Playboy, with a subject of "panties history." I keep almost throwing them away because I think they're spam. |
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LiveJournal for billet-doux.
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cranky.
artistic.
sick.
content.
full.
chipper.
melancholy.