Alysha S' LiveJournal Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Alysha S [ website | the circle. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

the end. [14 Mar 2002|07:51pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Smashing Pumkins ] Goodriddancej: Oh trust me whenever you think things can't get worse, they will. oh... We tanned today. God. I made annie cup cakes for her birthday. i don't like to think much. blue has been composing me the most beautiful, and amazing notes scribbled on yellow note pads. we're going to have to think about the consequences... put your finger up my nose

My inner thighs are working. [12 Mar 2002|06:11pm] I've lost 6 pounds... My lips are numb from kissing Lee, who tastes so much like peppermint patties... without calories... and it's his natural taste... and he's so... I miss Erica. Annie has been... so happy the past couple of days. And I know why. And I don't like that no matter what, if he's alive or dead, or even if he married her, he will always RUIN HER LIFE. forever. Ben and I returned social security cards today... it was sad... and I fumbled in my wallet... and almost cried... and he looked so cool, and untouchable... and like he doesn't care about me at all. Wes Myers... is sexy and flirts with me a lot... he's got a big adams apple and this deep voice. and he layed on the table next to me and stared at me... "is this bothering you?" yes. As for me. Ha. I bought a new scale. I was 127. (YUCK!) now I'm 121 again. So much for the climax. But, I can feel my self disapearing every single moment. It's been over 48 hours. Ha-luh-loo-lah. put your finger up my nose

where have I BEEN. [03 Mar 2002|10:55am] I read everyones journal. I'm rarely mentioned... I'm so grounded. I don't want to talk about it. things at school. Suck. I guess that's what I get. My foot is numb, my hair is wet, and I'm in my underwear. Not a good time... I'm still trying. 2 fingers| put your finger up my nose

i just wanted... [19 Feb 2002|04:46am] to say that paul harper is such an amazing person and that i don't have time now... but i will someday... other than today. 1 finger| put your finger up my nose

lies and lies and lies... all forwarded to me... from me. [15 Feb 2002|11:39am] i wish i could delete all the lies, that i have been telling myself over the past months... i'm sorry, alysha, i lied to you. 1 finger| put your finger up my nose

uhhhh yuck. [14 Feb 2002|10:41am] I'm in child dev. class now. we made these nasty sugar cookies... you can see the egg yolks and they disgusting. i'm mad at ben. sick. of. it. all. and him too. talked to lee until 9 thirty last night. ::sigh:: plan to party a lot more. who needs to remember what happend yesterday anyways????? 2 fingers| put your finger up my nose

rallys suck. rallys suck... [18 Jan 2002|09:55am] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | The buzz of the room... ] MODEST MOUSE MODEST MOUSE. and I don't enjoy rallys. but I'm here in Schuettes class so it's all ok. CHEERIOS-55 per 1 cup. 2% Milk- 80 per 1/2 cup. Tappering is easy. Tappering is fun. OH YES. I'm going to get stoned. someday. someday. and wash my worries away. 1 finger| put your finger up my nose

[15 Jan 2002|08:33pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Such a rush- coldplay ] I don't want to be here anymore. put your finger up my nose

ONLY HALF WRONG [13 Jan 2002|01:21am] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Joan Jett ] wow. today was so fabulous... wonderful.... amazing... perfectly blissful. Well, today after about 2:30 or so. Before that it sucked... Erica picked me up and we went to her house. We rewrote a song and went over the lyrics. I'm so excited. I can't even form sentences... ::sigh:: OOKK!! Annie, never ever called... It made me really sad. I hope Annie is OK. I miss her... so much. so much so much. She hates me. Then Kristi came over. She's really nice. I'm glad she's the drummer... Then we picked up Paul. Paul!! and went to the thrift shop. I got this skirt that is so tiny around the waist. It even fits me!!! Man, but it doesn't fit me around the waist yet, it's right below my belly button. It makes me happy though. And I got this great silk black blouse. It's pretty. Then we got Ben at Jimboys and took him to ANdrews where he gave himself a bloody nose. A Ben-ity. ::sigh:: Then we were going to take Paul home so the band could practice. We saw Jared Wallace. He is really slow... His thought process is a little off. So we get back. OH MAN! PRACTICE WAS SO AMAZING!!!! We got it down, and I was all nervous and there was a spider... and it was so nice. We sound good. Ericca's dad even came out to make the point that we did. Everyone communicates really well, and we use technical terms like, "3 fast parts, then 2 slow, so 3, 2, 4, 2..." and it's great. My voice sounds pretty nice and Erica is great and Kristi is bitchin'. I'm addicted. I can't wait to practice again, like every single day!!!! WHOOPIE! ONLY HALF WRONG!!! Our first song is called: FAT GIRL KARMA. I love it. It's so nice. Ericca- send me the lyrics!! Yippie!!! Then I found Ben and he bought a sleeve-less Jean jacket... ::Sigh:: and he came over and we watched The Bodyguard in my room and he read some of my journal and it was fun. A lot of fun. We're connected forever. 2 fingers| put your finger up my nose

pig [12 Jan 2002|01:52am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Drivin' Sideways- Aimee Mann ] when was the last time you cared about anyone but yourself. I guess it's human nature... to be selfish pigs, right? yeah. excuse me while I starve. put your finger up my nose

I pledge to the god of cold feet [08 Jan 2002|11:46pm] [ mood | cold feet ] [ music | Fiona Apple- Paper Bag ] My feet are chilli. So so chilli. "I know I messy, and I love it when I spill diet Pepsi on my shirt, because it comes right out in the wash. It's wonderful..." and the sky is going to be dark in the morning when we run. 1 finger| put your finger up my nose

If you read this... [07 Jan 2002|01:51pm] [ mood | eh ] [ music | Anna Begins- Counting Crows ] Listen. I know who you are. I know you're watching me. Wanting to fix me. But don't. Leave the nuts and bolts to lie on the ground beside me. I can put the screws back together on my own. So don't. touch it put your finger up my nose

Sunglasses at night... [31 Dec 2001|12:47pm] [ mood | La-Di-DAHHHHH ] [ music | Corey Heart - Sun Glasses At Night ] Hi! OK, I'm about to leave to go with Ben snow boarding today. I hope to be kissing him in through the next year!!! HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! Ben's here. Gotta go. Hi ERica, and Annie!!! and eveyone! 2 fingers| put your finger up my nose

[31 Dec 2001|01:03am] [ music | uhhh buubbbb buubbb ] Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz put your finger up my nose

Yet another day... for sorrow... but on the bright side; I play air guitar.... [30 Dec 2001|11:51am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Janis Joplin - Son of a Preacher Man ] Livejournals make me happy. I am waiting for 12 O clock so I can call Erica, so we can hang out. I had a lot of fun yesterday. Probably more fun then I've had in a long time. Which is sad... Annie came over yesterday. We called Erica, and went to a movie . Oceans 11 was pretty good. It was a cute (yeah, cute) plot. And Brad Pitt was CONSTANTLY eating. Heh heh. Hot Cheek Bones and I made EYE CONTACT. for a long time. I wonder if he thinks I was staring... I fell in front of him last time Annie & I were @ movies 8. I'm such an embarassment. So we bought PICKELS (5 cal) and enjoyed the film. Erica can't park. heh heh. And Annie can't steer. And I can't make hemp necklesses... So I bought three pickles with a 50 dollar bill from Hot Cheek Bones... He didn't even count the money in my hand. But that's OK. Because Ben is better then any other boy in the world... So that was fun. We walked and laughed and ate pickles and talked and I had fun. Erica's mom made us expressos. ((WHY IS IT THAT I'M TELLING THIS ALL OUT OF ORDER????????)) THEN we came back to my place and tried to make necklesses and told Hoyer we would hang out, but we never did... Ben came over. My mom talked to Annie about Macramay for like 20 minutes, and Annie had to bite her face to keep from laughing. It was beautiful. hah. ahh.... Then BEN... The girls went home... :(. But on the bright side... ::sigh:: BEN and I.... we went to Whiskytown lake after dark. We sat on the shore. We kissed. We talked about things... that we've never talked about before. And it was almost religious ... I hope that the entire world falls in love. Because it's amazing. And he's amazing........."If I was 25 and out of college I would ask you to marry me, Alysha" ....... ::sigh:: The sky was gray and you could see the mountains reflecting in the lake, because it wasn't the moon, it was the sky and the sky was grey. Ben told me... I've come to the conclusion that kissing is best in the cold...in the rain... in the snow because your surroundings are so cold, but his lips are hot and they keep you warm and it's tender. I love him. I wonder if I will love the person I spend the rest of my life with as much as I love Ben... ?.... I hope so. Maybe it will be Ben. We saw a movie too... and it was nice to feel his heart beat over the loud speakers next to me.... And I love.... how he drives in the middle of the road how he loves his mom how he loves me how he reminds me of a lion his hair his voice in the morning the shape his back makes in the dark.... everything about him... And I am hopeless. put your finger up my nose

muhahahaaaaaaa [25 Dec 2001|03:15pm] MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! put your finger up my nose

I just want to stay... [23 Dec 2001|10:40pm] I remember running through the wet grass Falling a step behind I could drink a case of you darling and I would still be on my feet. -Joni Mitchell "Is love a tender thing? it is too rough, Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn. --- Romeo & Juliet "Time crumbles things; everything grows old under the power of Time and is forgotten through the lapse of Time." --- Aristotle "Whoever is happy will make others happy too. " -- Anne Frank Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. "There are too many mediocre things in this world to deal with, love shouldn't have to be one of them." Grandmother: Sam, let me look at you... Fred, she's gotten her boobies! Grandfather: I better go get my magnifying glass. Grandmother: Oh, and they're so perky! (Music from Psycho as Grandmother's hands reach in...) Samantha (later): I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up! (shivers) (16 Candles) A long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. Charles Manson "And I just like to keep my mouth shut," thinks Alysha. The more he looked inside the more Piglet wasn't there. put your finger up my nose

Winnie The Pooh Bear.... [23 Dec 2001|10:05pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Boom Boom Boom Boom... ] I think, I know, if I would stop being myself, in my body, that I could have mad passionate every things. I mean... I want mad passionate... Love... Days... Walks in the park.... Stares from Ben... Sex.... Oh... Soon, I'll get it. So now I'll do some sit ups... Like doing 300 sit ups will really make my life mad and passionate... ::sigh:: put your finger up my nose

Vegetarian [21 Dec 2001|09:36am] I've decided to become a vegetarian.... I think. I'll try it. put your finger up my nose

It's Been A Hard Day [20 Dec 2001|05:28pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Modest Mouse ] I mean, not incredibly hard. It shouldn't be so bad. It's CHRISTMAS VACATION!!! Shit man. I guess it'll be OK. Annie's not @ home. Ben is @ work. I bet Ericca's @ work. Lee's at work. I don't have a job. Yes, I repeat, I DON'T have a job... Tomorrow is Erica Scott's birthday bash. We're going to Chico. I love Chico. I hate who lives there... what if we see eachother in a crowded room, and I look and ____ looks, and we don't speak words. I wouldn't make anything out, because my mouth is glued. I would leave the party, not saying a word. I'm sure I would cry. Because the only thing that can ever break you down is not finishing your buisness. I have not finished my buisness with ________ and I don't intend to 3 fingers| put your finger up my nose

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