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Sunday, April 21st, 2002
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1:54 pm - mis·an·thro·py
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what a sap i can be sometimes. really.
all that repressed emotional junk was brought about cause i noticed that everyone was out having fun or spending time with someone else, and i wasn't. boofuckinghoo christine.
i'm not going to that show with brent today. why? cause it's in jersey. and yeah, he would have been driving, but by the time the show was over and i made my way back home it would've been around 2 or so in the morning. not particularly striking my fancy, considering i'd have to be up around 5 for another wonderful day at work. and he didn't want to drive me back home from the show, it would have been an hour out of his way, i guess i can't blame him, but whatever. in any case, i'm good with being at home. even though i'm missing a handful of good bands, but that's alright, i'll catch them another time.
and for no apparent reason, i seem to be in a bad mood.
real sudden-like too.
who cares.
current mood:  cynical
current music: coheed and cambria
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(1 silhouette down here |make me your own)
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| Saturday, April 20th, 2002
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10:54 pm - cuddling close to blankets and sheets..
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boy oh boy.
well ive gotta say. that its definitely one of those days.
and when i say 'those days' i mean, the kind where i'm lonely and don't want to feel the way that i do. and i beat myself up cause of the fact.
the kind where i loathe who i am. and the people from my past flash across my mind. and i can't help but grit and grind my teeth. in despair.
and then i ask myself a zillion questions like,
where did it go wrong? what did i do? was it me? was it you? it just wasn't the right time, was it?
it will never be the right time, this much i know.
i want to fall in love again.
and i want to fall hard. with scrapes, cuts, black and blues, the works. i want it all.
but everything i touch slips through my fingers.
all the time.
everytime.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: taking back sunday
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(1 silhouette down here |make me your own)
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| Friday, April 19th, 2002
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12:09 pm - you talkin' to me?
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motherfuckin' deniro rocks my shit. so hard.
i have nothing more to say.
except that:
it's friday.
and i got into a fight with my mom last night. and many unfriendly words were exchanged. from my end.
i'm definitely feeling on edge today. as soon as i stepped foot in the door at work i was hassled to do this and do that.
marc wants me to snap out of my.. hmm, i guess 'prude' phase and have a go with him. just once. i think not. i haven't hooked up with anyone in well over two months. and it's staying that way.
im hangin' out with brent again this weekend. at least i have one of my best friends around. and that's keeping my sanity. cause when we're together all i can do is laugh.
and who doesn't like laughing?
current mood: strange
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(1 silhouette down here |make me your own)
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| Wednesday, April 17th, 2002
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8:03 pm - disenchanting the romantic
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yeaaah so im goin to the skate and surf fest with brent on sunday cause the girl he was originally going with pissed him off, and made up some nasty rumors about him and her..haha you suck!! i get to see the descendents, bouncing souls, from autumn to ashes, finch, thrice, alk3, face to face, coheed and cambria, against all authority, june spirit, bane, poison the well....among other bands. :) this is why you shouldn't tell people that you fucked 'em when you didn't...and you shouldn't tell people that you're going out when you arent. sucka. oh, if you should be so lucky. tata.
current mood:  chipper
current music: 7 angels 7 plagues
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(make me your own)
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| Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
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3:40 pm - olé!
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b
o
r
e
d
.
my tooth's doing ok.
another pet peeve: when people send me out to be their personal messengers. hey, i don't get paid to relay your shit, you can ask/tell a person yourself rather than get me to say it for you. that shit pisses me off. (i am talking about one person in particular here.. namely miriam).
blahblahblahworkblahblahblahyousuckblahblahblahsodoi
i need to get outta heeeeeeere.
current mood: alright, kinda.
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(make me your own)
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| Monday, April 15th, 2002
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12:43 pm - now i'm dumber than i was before
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they pulled my wisdom tooth.
that was what was causing all the pain. my rotting wisdom tooth.
and.. i've got 5 cavities that are going to be tended to next monday at 5:30. great.
oh well, i didn't go through any excruciating pain like i had imagined. :P
now i'm trying to figure out if i should go to work or not. i can only talk out of one side of my mouth. and there's a wad of gauze on the other side. its hot out. we need an air conditioner. anyway if i go to work, i can't do anything. but i want to go to prove to them that i wasn't playing hooky or anything (judging from the vice president's voice this morning when i called, he probably thought i was pulling a fast one). and not to mention, he added to the end of the conversation, "hey well when you're done with everything, feel free to show up to work!" blah.
ok well that's all for now. byebye
current mood:  accomplished
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(9 silhouettes down here |make me your own)
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1:54 am - we'll never see the likes of you again
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flogging molly was everything i expected and so much more, i fucking love this band. i didn't get to stay for the entire set though, cause brent had to leave so he could make the last train back up to his place. good move, otherwise i would've missed my train and ended up waiting like 2 1/2 hours for the next one. and that would've - well, sucked. i was right up front, right near the guitarist's feet. my ears are ringing bad. they also taped some of their set to use in a future music video (i believe it's for 'what's left of the flag'). the slackers were sooo fucking good too, i love bands with energy. i snagged their setlist.
i'm dreading my visit with the dentist tomorrow. i'm calling work and telling them that i've got an emergency appointment. tough shit for them. blah. my once-perfect teeth.. where have they gone? my tongue ring fucked up one of them too, so now i'm probably gonna need braces to get it back in place. the fuckkk. brushing twice a day simply isn't enough.
anyway that's it. later.
current mood:  happy
current music: flogging molly
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(make me your own)
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| Sunday, April 14th, 2002
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12:26 pm - 18+ only
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flogging molly.
tonight.
that's what it's all about.
ps: my tooth fuckin' kills.
current mood:  geeky
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(make me your own)
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| Saturday, April 13th, 2002
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11:27 pm - ok, what the fuck?
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before i leave for the night, i just had to share this. i checked my e-mail right quick, and found this waiting for me. how did he get my screenname? the directory? does my aol profile mention anything about this 'dark S&M;' bullshit?! UHH.....thanks but no thanks.
Subj: Explore the dark side with me.
Date: 4/13/2002 11:13:41 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Darknicht
To: Sullinstar
Dear Christine:
I am seeking a lady that enjoys the dark side of sensuality. I am experienced with all areas of dominance and submission, including OTK (spanking), B&D; (bondage) and sensual torment, who may be interested in joining me alone or with one of my subs.
Bear in mind that I am a 47 year old, Manhattan Dom Married, to (yet separated from ), a nonparticipating vanilla.
I believe that a strong and confident woman makes the best sub. A gently firm hand can make one fly to new heights. I am a gentleman that truly enjoys and respects women.
Domination must be based on sensuality, not the thuggish brutality that most so-called Doms think of as B&D.; As a submissive gives her trust, respect and caring to her Dom; the Dom returns that, respect and caring as well as a sense of safety and protection. It is a relationship of sharing pleasures and joys. If the submissive leaves dissatisfied; the Dom has failed in his responsibilities.
Dark
--
leave it to me to reel in the champs.
current mood:  shocked
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(4 silhouettes down here |make me your own)
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11:11 pm - 40 ounces
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all i have to say is BRENT LOST THE BET
i rule and you don't. haha <3
i didn't end up getting chai tea every hour (hmph) but it was okay, cause my tooth was acting up today. i almost cried cause of how much it hurt. plans for this monday: trip to the dentist. and work? fuckit. i don't care. i'm taking off and getting this shit taken care of before it gets out of control. it's already there pretty much, but one more sweet treat and i'm in deep shit.
it's been a long day. we went to a total of 3 different malls, a handful of music stores, a pet shop (fell in love with a beagle), hung out at chuck's. did a lot of walking, bullshitting, laughing, joking, pushing each other around, i almost got thrown into a garbage can by chuck. hah. this was my day, starting from 5am and ending at about 10:45pm. i'm tired, but i got mulholland drive on dvd today, so i'm going to get some grub and watch it before i sleep. i feel sluggish cause i haven't worked out in about 2 days now. yikes. but i will as soon as i wake up tomorrow morning.
good nite babes. :)
current mood:  hungry
current music: sublime
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(make me your own)
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