Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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8:04 pm - my frustated journal entry of the month
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argh. i thought there was a medic meeting. i can't get to my email except by ssh-ing, so i can't find out when/where it is. grrr. went to redbones with dave and taiwo. drunk in mama gaia's now cause i figured we'd be meeting here. grr. grr-fucking-rrr.
i really like ryan. we're supposed to be each other's "getting over someone" sex... but i like him. can't i do anything right? i have to work at seven tomorrow morning. i'm excited about working but not about the time i have to do it at. at least it's in somerville. unfortunately, i'm working at five am on friday. that will be unpleasant. i guess i'm going to call josh now and see if he wants to hang out. or go catch tai and ara at the someday. blah. blaaah. i don't have laura's new number.
::kicks laura::
i don't have a sane family
::kicks family::
grrrr. i should be at this meeting i have to work on tuesdays for the next few weeks i think. grrrrrrrrr!
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Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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6:31 pm
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oh my god. so some of this weekends was great. i love medics. they're supportive and beautiful and amazing and they give better hugs than anyone i can think of.
unfortunately abc fucking infiltrated the training. i feel completely violetd and responsible for the loss of the safe space that trainings are supposed to take place in. i'm scared that the cops are going to "snatch squad" arrest the trainers as organizers, i'm scared that my name may be released, i'm scared that the people in the training who shared experiences in what they thought was a safe space are going to be snatched. i'm not sure if i'm going to go. maybe i'll go and stay off the streets? hang out in an indoor safe space and provide medical support? i need to be in the street. i really really need to.
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Monday, January 21st, 2002
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9:12 pm
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guh.
this is the kind of thing that tends to blow up in my face...
i'm a jerk.
but it's fun.
but i'm still a jerk.
but it's fun.
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Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
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11:36 pm
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3:42 pm
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Monday, January 7th, 2002
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3:11 pm
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Monday, December 31st, 2001
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4:56 am
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two nights ago was a night of mess.
tonight i...
went to dinner with merry and becca and jake and snuh. and josh.
had yummy food.
had an amazing drink involving sake and lime juice and crushed mint.
saw vanilla sky. (interesting, not amazing)
got out of the movie around 12:30
snuh drove me home, came in, just left twenty minutes ago.
we made tea and went on the roof and talked and talked and talked.
i haven't gotten to know anyone new recently. it was great.
it's been an intense week.
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, December 13th, 2001
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2:45 pm - vacuum
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aaaaaagh.
i really really really hate this place.
i miss everyone and summers ago when intimacy felt natural.
i miss not having knots in my stomach and shoulders.
i hate celias. i want to go to the medic meeting
i hate you (the plural and less obvious yous) for not being here but it's probably just as well.
i hate alternating between needing to collapse on someone and ignoring everyone because i want to do it all myself.
i hate thinking about all the shit i've convinced myself is true.
i hate everyone.
i like wendy.
i like medics.
i like sleeping in romi and jake's warm living room.
snuh did a scene from "of mice and men" last night. (it was good, as much as i tend to dislike steinbeck)
i think i pet people too hard.
oh yeah... and i hate people who write whiny lj entries.
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Tuesday, December 11th, 2001
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11:27 pm - letter to josh
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dear josh,
i am very agry that i have to thik about stuff ow.
ad come fix my fuckig letter betwee l ad m key.
my computer souds like it has a cold, ad i ca't flirt with ayoe o aim without it beig absurd.
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Sunday, December 9th, 2001
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9:02 pm
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mmmm. grasshopper in me. yummy.
general asembly for festival del pueblo organizing was looong, but not unproductive. i love the medics. the rest of the meeting was sitting in their chairs and we're sprawled out across each other. every time jane spoke, we'd grab hands, backrubs were exchanged... medics are waaay funner than the black block :P
things are strange. i'm totally avoiding so much crap, but i feel otherwise pretty happy. unfortunately, said avoided crap makes its way out whenever i drink, directing itself in a torrent of pure obnoxious toward whichever close friend is unfortunate enough to be near me during the drinking.
going to get coffee with guy, whom i haven't seen in a very long time.
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(comment on this)
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9:02 pm
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mmmm. grasshopper in me. yummy.
general asembly for festival del pueblo organizing was looong, but not unproductive. i love the medics. the rest of the meeting was sitting in their chairs and we're sprawled out across each other. every time jane spoke, we'd grab hands, backrubs were exchanged... medics are waaay funner than the black block :P
things are strange. i'm totally avoiding so much crap, but i feel otherwise pretty happy. unfortunately, said avoided crap makes its way out whenever i drink, directing itself in a torrent of pure obnoxious toward whichever close friend is unfortunate enough to be near me during the drinking.
going to get coffee with guy, whom i haven't seen in a very long time.
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Monday, November 12th, 2001
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11:14 pm
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i'm having such a lovely time websmutting:
i'm downloading world/inferno.
i'm reading a world/inferno interview.
i'm listening to world/inferno.
there is fun cool sex positive scarletletters.com
there are happy bagels and tofutti.
there is no more candy corn or "pirate" bay... but that's really just as well.
the house is quiet, and relatively clean.
i'm wearing long underwear and a bathrobe.
did i mention bagels?
it's been a while since i was by myself and not brooding.
i think i like it.
maybe i'll stop pursuing boys and just hang out with bagels and comfy clothes and my computer.
if the someday cafe had internet access and i could wear a bathrobe there and there was a bathtub and a bed, i don't think i'd ever leave.
i'm heading out to canada on thursday night. i think we just might find some excitement there.
i want a waffle iron.
possibly also a backrub.
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Wednesday, October 17th, 2001
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2:59 am
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so there's this tactic called a snake march... saw some beautiful stuff in toronto, though the action as a whole was a bit confusing and unsure of itself. got to go with cool people, run with cool people, meet other cool people, and not be overwhelmed with injured folk. nyquil now for my stupid cold. then sleep.
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Friday, October 5th, 2001
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11:40 pm
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i hate canada. the feeling is apparently mutual. this puts me back in somerville at my computer at twenty of twelve on a friday. this puts fifty potential street medics out of a training.... and makes toronto seem that much more dangerous. fuckin national security motherfucker fuckity fuck fuck arrrrrrrggggghhh.
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Saturday, September 15th, 2001
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8:12 pm
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a bmw hit me when i was driving in the fenway yesterday. i had my mom's car. the alignment got all fucked up, and i had to drive to burlington this morning, so i took it back to my parents' house. Grabbed my dad's car instead. Transferred all of josh's stuff into my dad's car. drove back to boston. hit the south street for food. returned to find lack of car. called my father to tell him that he needes to get dressed and go to the precinct to report the car stolen since the cops insisted that i was not the owner of the vehicle, and therefore couldn't file a report... people are not pleased with me right now.
and my emt exam was today, on almost no sleep. went really well (about time something did)
exhausted. time to get the fuck out of sharon.
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Friday, September 14th, 2001
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12:20 am
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the medics are accounted for.
i think i'm going to go to the open service the islamic center is having tomorrow.
so frustrating to see progressives either turn nationalistic or turn their backs on the suffering.
so frustrating to have someone shout "white power" out of a car in davis square the night of the crashes.
so frustrating to be glued to the news.
getting away from it for ten minutes is next to impossible.
the vigil was depressing. silent vigils are not what people need right now. we need to talk and support and calm and care for one another. we need not to be reactionary.
we need not to give in to racism. we need to value all human life as equally precious.
this is some of a letter from a nyc paramedic/street medic:
"Finally, I want to urge all of us to remember the
complexities of the world we live in. This is a tragic
act, one that has destroyed or forever altered the
lives of countless people. It is also an act that
occurs in particular context, one in which the United
States is guilty of this exact same kind of crime,
only on a greater and more gruesome scale. Let us take
from this the inspiration to create a world free from
imperialism in all its manifestations, one that moves
us from the civil war that is capitalism to a higher
form of society...
i'd post the whole thing but i'm going to ask first b/c it's pretty personal. he was close enough to both collapses that he had to run and dodge debris, and he lost some friends and teammates. if he can keep perspective, the rest of us have no excuse.
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Thursday, September 13th, 2001
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2:10 pm
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2001
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2:37 pm
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in response to laura and anyone else who is wondering... boston will need blood. they closed down nemc operating rooms for all elective surgeries in order to treat nyc casualties and maybe also conserve the blood supply? i'm going to try to get in to donate tonight or tomorrow. if people want to go together, they should call me. and please, do be careful of what you say and to whom, and fuckin come to dc anyway. the fewer people who attend, the more dangerous it will be for those who are in the streets there. and try not to buy in to the fucking corporate media spin crap.
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Thursday, August 30th, 2001
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5:06 pm
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ack. things have been really good but really strange and hectic. so... many... medics...
michael is really awesome. this is a good thing, as i'm going to be spending the next month with him.
josh and linda are moving. i am not pleased about this. i aquired a couch. very happy. things to sit on are good. i really like phish. is that ok?
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Tuesday, August 21st, 2001
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5:47 pm
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in the nu library again, dealing with all the email that i've allowed to pile up. trying to write an email to rich about sexism and activists. not being terribly successful.
saw nick last night on the red line. this was happy.
a job possibility presented itself today. fall semester, i could work as an assistant in the nu emt course. i'd get a stipend, if that, but i'd get all of my continuing ed hours out of the way (massachusetts requires an assload) and i could take a whole bunch of classes for free... enough classes that i could specialize if i wanted to, like doing extracation (yay!), or working on a cardiac or burn unit (meh). it's unfortunately a pretty big time commitment. like a huge time commitment. and i've still got this mono thing.
wish i could go to the student labor action project meeting tonight. i'd at least be interested to hear about what they're doing, but alas, i shall be back in room 243 doing assessments until ten... after which i am meeting an interesting guy for coffee :)
KATIE MOVES IN REALLY REALLY SOON! (i'm excited)
kevin's cat has kept her distance since i accidentally closed her in the door. i don't like her, but it really was an accident. but hse'll be gone soon and the kt will live upstairs right next to melanie and her huge feminist library. i think that between the three of us, we will have a pretty rockin book collection. poor mustafa is going to feel entirely excluded, or perhaps not; he's never home :)
NORA COMES BACK TO BOSTON TODAY!
the radical cheerleaders will be born again soon!
the guy sitting next to me smells good. Hmmm. how to kill the next two hours... lunch seems like a good idea.
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