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LiveJournal for kurai.
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2002 |
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if i ask will you tell me what eats at you deep inside. the nightmares that haunt your restless sleep the tears that lie unshed in your eyes. deeper into the blue sky i soar on the hope that you will tell me, but illusionary dreams are so much whiter wings shatter feathers scatter as a silver drop falls to the groud dragging the stars with it if i cried would you feel guilty and answer my pleas reply the calling voice from afar or wander in a sea of memories the lake darkens as a melody rings out, pure the breezes sway the trees as sapphire eternity ripples aurorae. open your eyes crepuscule. you're no more a child twilight. you should understand midnight. you still don't say a thing. i would paste a sardius, sardius sun in your sky when you want to cry, when you want to cry i would lay a eburin, eburin moon at your feet when you fell low, when you feel low. for the beaten sentimental fool i would die when the stars rise high, when the stars rise high in aureolin letters on a monochrome kite i would write my name and let it fly taking away the hurt deep inside. an ethereal flower would bloom if only you spoke. --- if u understand you should know how to reply. i don't want a sorry. i don't want an explaination. all i want is for you to do what i feel is right. for me. for you. and for the ones who care. |
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ahh!!! i want dance! someone teach me! :( ... i hope the gillian lady can change date. I want dance. bah. k lar. waltz... hmm... i LIKE the waltz esp after waltz for the moon and endless waltz... hmm.. and celtic moon. the song. and that other waltz from ff5. can't remember title. waltz clavier! that's it. yeah. its nice. 123 and 123 and 123 and 123... partner arh? so fun. hmm... can i dance with mika-chan? hmm... mika a bit short... ...nvm he can fly and make himself seem taller! watashi ga mika-chan daisuki desu! |
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2002 |
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sleepy. eh. debates tomorrow. that's it. finished. un. the sky was dark. i'm done with presents. laa~. gonna eat. ... that's it. boring life. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... yea. boring life. |
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 Which tarot card are you? err... this is SERIOUSLY MESSED UP. ... I am either temperance/star/moon. not THIS... Messed up thing...
cool. better than the tarot thing at any rate.
Who is the spy? Is it me? Is it you? Here, drink this wine... Find out what YOUR inner non-sequitur is! quiz by A.V. Phibes kewt.  Which Colossal Death Robot Are You? cool. what the toot?
You're Duo Maxwell! Find out Which Gundam Wing character you are.
...err... okay...  I'm Remy LeBeau What X-Men Character are You? eh... cool. my fave xmen... R You are restricted. Well done, you're now "Which Movie Classification Are You?" Test created by Jamie - take it here. heh michelle if ur reading this how about upping the rating of the rp a bit more eh? hahahahaha... that reminds me. ff.net time. I Am A: Chaotic Good Elf Ranger Druid Alignment: Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups. Race: Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently ccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance. Primary Class: Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy. Secondary Class: Druids are a special variety of Cleric who serves the Earth, and can call upon the power in the earth to accomplish their goals. They tend to be somewhat fanatical about defending natural settings. Find out What D&D; Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan! wow. that's like eirian! coolez... |
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| Sunday, February 17th, 2002 |
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kurai-dono came back yesterday with a fully assembled Deathscythe Hell Custom. Sugoi... apparently she was feeling under the weather and spent the whole of eds reunion being antisocial and building hell c. tk-san asked her why she was antisocial. apparently the tk-jememe thing is still bugging her to death, and well... she really feels that *say is going to die... even after they took a pic... i feel sad too... let's talk about happier things, kurai-dono's anime+manga collection anime (the things in [ ] are the number of cds [13]evangelion tv series english subbed [2]evangelion death and rebirth chinese subbed [2]end of evangelion chinese subbed [2]princess mononoke english dubbed/subbed [20]studion ghibli collection english dubbed [18]gundam wing tv series chinese subbed [1dvd]endless waltz english/chinese subbed jap/chinese dub [1dvd]akira english/chinese subbed [1dvd] sin english/chinese subbed [2]akira chinese subbed [2]ghost in the shell chinese subbed [1]sailormoon s the movie english dubbed [1]queen esmeraldas english dubbed [2]pokemon the movie 2. english dubbed [13]lengend of escaflowne english subbed [12]slayers try chinese subbed [1]slayers the movie english subbed [2]blue submarine number 6 chinese subbed [8]hunterxhunter chinese subbed [9]sorcerous stabber orphen chinese subbed [12]sorcerous stabber orphen revenge chinese subbed [16]cardcaptor sakura series 1 chinese subbed [8]card captor sakura series 2 chinese subbed [2]card captor sakura movie 1 chinese subbed [2]card captor sakura movie 2 chinese subbed [7]record of the lodoss war OAV english dubbed [9]record of the lodoss war tv. chinese subbed [7]tenchi muyo OAV english dubbed/subbed [4]darkstalkers chinese subbed [11]vampire princess miyu tv series. chinese subbed [2]x the movie [13]houshin engi chinese dubbed [8]boys be english subbed [4]serial experiments lain chinese subbed [4]angel sanctuary OAV about [204] vcds and [3]dvds manga [20] angel sanctuary daran [complete] [16] x . chuang yi. bks 2/3 tohan [6] evangelion books 1/3 chuang yi/ the rest tohan [3] ah my godess. youth comics. bks 1,2 and 4 [4] kamikaze. [49 books] miscellaneous (the normal price in front. the price kurai-dono paid behind. her bargaining skills quite good ne?) [1] angel sanctuary shinjitaki ($15) ($8) [1] angel sanctuary lost angel artbook ($36) ($32) [1] angel sanctuary artbook ($36) ($32) [1] nge der mond artbook ($36) ($32) [1] angel sanctuary postcard collection ($20) ($18) [3] ccs transparent cards ($8 each) (S12 for 3) [2] evangelion models. 01 and 04. ($60 each) ($50 each) [1] death scythe hell custom ($40) ($35) [1] 2002 calendar ($38) ($38) [3] posters ($2.50 each) ($2.50 each) [1]eva s² ($70)($70) [3]soundtracks. eva 1, 2 ayashi no ceres 1 ($17 each) ($16 each) [1]tenchi muyo character ($38) (free) [3]pokemon models ($8) (forgot) from what is here. if we take 1 vcd to cost $2.50. 1 dvd $30. 1 manga to cost $6.00. and the original price of all the misc stuff... kurai-dono would have spent a total of... 510 +90 + 294 + 493.50 +124 = 1511.5 ... ...that would be 9 month's pocket money. aieeee~ (this list is in no way exhaustive...) ... ... ... wow. |
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002 |
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ohayo minna-san gomen ne tk-san, ruimin-san, waijia-san, alex-san, michelle-san, jianrui-san. kurai-dono told me that you came over. i'm sorry i didn't get to see you, i went to get kurai-dono her present. kurai-dono is on the phone. just got a phone call from her friend wishing her a happy valentine's day. i hope kurai-dono likes the present. i am going to give it to her later, once she finishes her phone call. tk-san, i was watching the videos that you gave kurai-dono. sugoi desu ne! i love yuna-san's dance. kurai-dono was trying it out and she choreographed a dance using the move in yuna-san's dance. it is to the edge of soul song. kirei desu ne! hai~ kurai-dono has finished her phone call so i'm going to give her her valentine's day present now. sayonara minna-san |
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Transcending history and the world, a tale of soul and swords eternally told To love! To shine! We all need to shine on, to see how far we've come on our journey How far yet to go, searching for our star Deep in the night, I pray in my heart for that special light to shower me with love to shower me with power to shine from above I got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on what I believed in from the very start I got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on deep in my heart To love, to shine To love, to shine Come strip down and face it, your all About time you broke down your wall Free your mind A brand new world waits for you, you'll find Nobody can just do it for you It's time that you knew It's up to you to love it's up to you to shine the light true and blue You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on what you believed in from the very start You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on, deep in your heart You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on what you believed in from the very start You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on what you believed in from the very start You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on what you believed in from the very start You got to get to the Edge of Soul, to carry on, deep in your heart To love, to shine! To love, to shine! To love! --- ffx spoilers ahead you have been warned tk. yuna married seymour so she could defeat sin. sth like "the power of two" or some crap like that. tidus did not die. wakka did not die. everyone did not die. tidus was from another time. so at the end, he returned back to his own time after defeating sin. sin is tidus' father. yuna and rikku are cousins. yes. and i'm very amused. i feel like singing edge of soul for kareoke. but like impossible to sing. thank you for the fmvs. have a nice day! |
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| Wednesday, February 13th, 2002 |
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happy valentine's day people this is for everyone, especially grace chong. http://www.iceshards.b0x.com/image/sorry.jpg |
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kawaii desu ne? kurai-dono created this for me. it's a drawing of the pet cat that i had which died. it's name was kinshi. which is japanese for myopia. you see, he was half blind. kinshi was my bestest friend before kurai-dono came along. :) kurai-dono is really good with cging. she wants to be a character designer/animator/illustrator for squaresoft just like yoshitaka amano-sama and tetsuya nomura-sama. her cousin jeremy also said that if she wants a job related to playstation and gaming he would write a testimonial about how often she plays it and how much of an avid ps supporter she is. ... sigh... no more ps2... i am sad cause i can't play anymore. but i guess it's good, it always distracts kurai-dono when i'm playing. she'll be doing her homework and saying to herself "i will not touch the ps2. i will not touch the ps2.." |
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ohayo minna-san. kurai-dono said i can use her livejournal to give you little updates on things that are happening in kurai-dono and my life. something like kero-chan no omakase in card captor sakura. kurai-dono also says that she'll give me a space on her website to do whatever i want, once she gets down to updating it frequently of course! kurai-dono is the best! today on mika-chan no heya (which means mika-chan's room) we are going to talk about kurai-dono's room! which incidentally is also my room because i stay with kurai-dono! kurai-dono's room is quite big. there are 3 doors. one that leads to the hall, one to the computer room and one to the toilet. but the toilet door is blocked by her hi fi set. when you enter, on your right is the tv/ps2. and next to that the hi fi under it is a shelf with the ps2 games/anime. and next to that the dressing table. under the dressing table is a rotating shelf for cds. in the drawers are scarves and miscellaneous objects. her X 2002 calendar is hanging there too! infront of the dressing table is her bed. it's a double deckered futon bed. and damn comfortable. the lower deck can be turned into a sofa. sugoi desu ne? on the top bunk, all of kurai-dono's friends and boxes are up there. so no one can sleep there. there's no space. (shh... her storage of candy and jelly is there too. don't tell otosan.) at the other side of her bed are he cupboards. there are 2 cupboards. in one are clothes, uniforms, and somemore boxes. in the other are her long clothes, pants and miscellaneous stuff like bags, cloth, books. whatever she wants out of sight. various posters are plastered on the cupboards. there are 3 aa megami sama ones, 4 ffx ones and a tirade of misc ones. next to that is the door to the computer room. a ffix poster and a flame of recca ORIGINAL poster is there. (arigatou eric-san!) next to that is her study table. it's a little white table. a golden box is on the left and all her art stuff is there. ok. in the drawers are more of her stuff. under the table is her art scrapbooks and such. next to it is a huge shelf/chest of drawers. in the drawers are misc stuff, and school crap. on the shelves her manga and gameguides and such. on the shelf is her altar. :) incense and celtic coins and potpourri and gemstones and candles. next to that is her ccs wall scroll. and we are back at the door again. yay! one anticlockwise description of kurai-dono's room is complete. btw, there are these really cool tasting candies called Campino. they are strawberry and cream flavoured. :) Oishii desu! hai... that's all for today. sayonara minna-san |
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2002 |
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chinese new year money. things to buy... 1. i am... - ayumi hamasaki 2. ayumi hamasaki's tour vcd 3. ffx ost 4. ffvi ost 5. ffx special edition (this can wait) 6. celtic spirits (damn nice cd to meditate to esp the harp and flutes) 7. rk osts 8. lodoss osts 9. more osts. yeah. mostly music. i need all the music i can get. i was crying last night. for no particular reason. then i had a dream... can't remember what it was but i woke up in tears. it was sad... anyway let's do a recap on all the events that happened since i have not been writing. sunday - had a nice time walking along clark quay/boat quay with my bro (the blonde one) and soon yoon. my cousins jeremy and joanna. so we were walking watching people dance. watching the djs... then i got a call from some one. damn what a way to spoil my mood. "hello since u have experience as first speaker i need help." so i was a nice girl and helped her out. "first u do def then u do clarification then u do case div. okay?" so she said ok. like god knows how long after. "eh... i need help..." so being the nice girl ms kurai is ms kurai kindly did everything for her (note ms kurai was rattling all this off the top of her head.) "first you say that our house defines media as the dissemination of info through print, broadcast and internet mediums. we define the influence as the impact on the teens both psychologically, morally and behaviourally. by saying strongest influence we are measuring the degree of impact ... then you include the three clarifications, and then you do case division." so she says. "so i talk about youths after that. a bit strange right going back to defination of youth after you do case divisions." so i say "grace dear. u have to put it in somewhere." so she says "so i put it in after clarifications, but i thought you said defination was before..." so i said. "LISTEN will you. first you say that our house defines media as the dissemination of info through print, broadcast and internet mediums. we define the influence as the impact on the teens both psychologically, morally and behaviourally. so you finish ur definations before that line then continue with, by saying strongest influence we are measuring the degree of impact ... then you include the three clarifications, and then you do case division." so she says "but then how can i put the def on youths after clarifications?" so i say "GRACE. LISTEN. WILL YOU LISTEN. first you say that our house defines media as the dissemination of info through print, broadcast and internet mediums. we define the influence as the impact on the teens both psychologically, morally and behaviourally. so you FINISH YOUR DEFINATIONS before that line then continue with, by saying strongest influence we are measuring the degree of impact ... then you include the three clarifications, and then you do case division." she replies "i think i should write this down..." ...what the hell was she doing all this time? i was pissed. i had lost my mood to have fun. "so we define mass media and dissemination blah blah blah. and we define strongest influence as the impact on people. and we are measuring the degree of impact." so i cut her in "we define INFLUENCE and impact on people. by saying STRONGEST INFLUENCE we are measuring the degree of impact. the strongest part leads to your clarification" so she says "ok. we define media as blah. and by saying strongest influence we are measuring the degree of impact. we define influence as the impact on people." I was like !!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!! (i was using hp somemore... bill gonna soar thanks to someone.) "NONONONONONONONONO! we define INFLUENCE and impact on people. by saying STRONGEST INFLUENCE we are measuring the degree of impact. FINISH YOUR DEFINATION FIRST." she said "ok. but then it will be weird talking about the defination of youth's after we do out clarification." i lost it. i was damn pissed. i don't know how i refrained from screaming at her. anyway i replied softly, albeit rudely with "GRACE. THINK lar. Please. You have to find a way to weave it in seamlessly not DITCH IT AT THE END. THINK LAR." i was about to add a i am not here to write your speech for you. you ask me for help. i am busy like hell but i decide to help you. you don't listen and you expect me to write your speech for you. go to hell. arght. peeved. anyway that was crappy day. so here comes monday... school was a bunch of trash. what the hell. potato rationing. the only fun part was watching brandon act as lim bo seng and rebel. that was funny. we spent the whole time tying grass together to make a telephone. (you know the type with two cups and strings?) so anyway we had debates after that. grace by some stroke of luck or by finding someone dumb enough to write her speech for her came up with a pretty decent speech. ruimin has a cool box for her tarot. i am jealous... ... ... ohayo-minna san. watashi wa mika desu. kurai-dono has gone to sulk in the corner so i shall continue for her. kurai-dono came home at about 2ish. and she fell asleep. later she went with jeff-san and soonyoon-san and her kasan and tosan to her granny's house. marc-san and amber-san were there. her obasan and cousins were also there. she ate like 40 pineapple tarts, then went with jeff-san to look for ice kachang at 5.00. of couse kurai-dono didn't find any. so they returned for reunion dinner. kurai-dono was sad because there wasn't any shark's fin. kurai-dono is also happy because she wants to abstain from shark fin because of the mean things they do to them to get the fins. there was abalone soup. her favorite. anyway kurai-dono came home after that and went to sleep. she cried for ages before she could fall asleep, and her hi fi set wasn't even turned on. kurai-dono must be really upset about something.. or someones. she refuses to tell me. kurai-dono woke up in the middle of the night crying. must be a really scary dream so i stayed with her until she fell back asleep. this morning when i woke up, kurai-dono was gone, but she left me breakfast. kurai-dono is so nice to me. (watashi wa kurai-dono daisuki desu!) anyway, today was chinese new year. Shin Nen Omedetto Gonzaimasu! So kurai-dono went to her granny's house. collected these red packets. i think they are really cute. the ones in japan are larger and decorated more. and it's ridiculous that you have to buy them at absurb prices to pay for "gift tax". it's like when i want to give you something, i give part of it to the government as well. a new meaning for gift. kurai-dono loaned her ps2 to her cousin. i am quite sad. because i can't watch dvds anymore, unless i use the one outside. but never mind, i can still watch vcds. I always watch vcds with kurai-dono. but sometimes, i watch it when she's asleep or away because i can't wait for the next episode. so i ahve actually watched more of it than kurai-dono has. kurai-dono usually falls asleep while watching and i have to turn the tv off for her or her kasan will scream at her for leaving the tv on. anyway. kurai-dono has been really worried about somethings of late. i really don't know what it is. she refuses to tell me and says that "she doesn't know" but kurai-dono always tells me everything! and she seems to know everything. she said she had a feeling about what it was in general, but she didn't want to speculate. assumptions are wrong she said, coz when you assume you are making an ass out of you and me. so she said i shouldn't assume and speculate. i know she feels really sad because she cannot help. anyway, her tosan is better. he can walk. needs a bit of help here and there but he'll be fine. oh and according to her horoscop for the year, this is an excellent year to take exams! so kurai-dono will have no problem in her o-levels! in addition it also says something about expenditure will be more than savings, so i suppose she won't feel so bad buying things. she wants a apple i-book or a fujitsu livebook if she can afford it. ganbatte ne kurai-dono. hopefully she can get it by this year. soka... by the way. waijia, kurai-dono was wearing the skirt you gave her. i think it looks very nice. she should wear it more often. :) utsukushii desu yo. honto! usou ja nai yo! oh... don't tell kurai-dono i counted the money she got. nothing like becky's or what she got last year. 552. btw ruimin, kurai-dono told me about the money your parents gave you last year. LUCKY... if she got becky's relatives + ur parents she'd be able to afford a livebook pretty soon! (ps. last year she got like 1200 because her birthday was on chinese new year eve so everyone was giving 50 50 50 50 50... too bad i can't go, or i can get kurai-dono a present for being so nice to me.) kurai-dono really likes this kimono she saw. it was yellow and pink. maybe i can get it for her... hmm... it is going to be very expensive, but maybe i can find a way to get the money... shh... don't tell kurai-dono. it's going to be a surprise for her! la la la la laa kurai-dono is going to be so happy. here are kurai-dono's new year wishes 1> to make the world a better place (she keeps on having all these noble wishes and makes things harder for herself) 2> to make some one called tk and someone called jermeme together again. (i hope they aren't gay or sth... homosexual problems are the worse to solve) 3> to get 8 points for o's (with her horoscope prediction, i'm sure she can do it!) 4> to do all she can for the eds sub com as she can (i'm sure she can do it! kurai-dono is the best!) 5> for dhs to get into finals for debates (hmm... she's worried that they may not reach semi-finals, she's not worried abt daxson's team they are good.) 6> to make sure *say doesn't break up. (i love their dances. kurai-dono shows all of them to me... they are really nice!) 7> to attend cosplay 2002 (that's why i must get her the kimono! so she can go to two cosplays this year!) 8> daddy and mommy will be okay for the rest of the year and daddy will be okay (actually this is number 1 on kurai-dono's list but i forgot to type it) here are my new year wishes 1> kurai-dono will be genki for the rest of the year 2> to get enough money to buy kurai-dono the kimono 3> that kurai-dono's otosan will be okay 4> to be genki 5> to be there for kurai-dono. 6> for kurai-dono's wishes to come true 7> i also want a pair of socks. my feet get cold easily... just like kurai-dono. ...sayonara minna-san... Shin Nen Omedetto Gonzaimasu... |
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002 |
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sigh. life suxors... my room has been taken away from me... dad's getting better. may be discharged tomorrow or tuesday after his scan... :) phisotherapists say he should get practice outside... :) daddy's coming home... well... mixed joy lar... in his condition, his room is not good place for him. 1)dark and murky, no air. 2)bed hard to get out off 3)not conducive... so what... moves to my room... which means that i have all my stuff stripped from me... which is damn sad. no more tv at night. no more late nights. no more dancing around in the dark... this is damn sad. selfish.. i think so.. sigh. it's only until he gets better. then i get my room back secondly. i am extremely peeved at a certain person. she thinks she's so great. doesn't listen. damn bitchy. i can't stand her whiney voice. and she dare lecture me about my habits. "oh! is that tarot!" "oh! you shouldn't PLAY with it!" "oh! my fren almost commiteed suicide!" "oh! it's satanic!" damn u. i do what i what. i told her nicely that it was in no way evil... and she continued with her "MY FRIEND COMMITTED SUICIDE." what the hell. ur fren wants to commit suicide then let him die lar... then she and her "MY FRIEND is a debate coach/abjudicator so we should follow everything that he says." what the fuck. u think we are brainless eejits arh? u think we cannot think and need u and ur "FRIEND" to do everything for us. blardy bitch. .../rant/ peeved? yes i think so... at least i have my portable dvd/cd/vcd/mp3 player. the type with the built in screen. god the phone is ringing... i hope it's not her... fuck. i spoke too soon. |
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| Thursday, January 31st, 2002 |
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| some people are IDIOTIC... u want to rip my char fine with me. AT LEAST USE IT IN A DIFFERENT RP. #^$(&. i'm quittin WIRP. no use | ||||||
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thank you so much for your support. i think it's time to tell you the whole story. my dad has stroke. it started on sunday, and he was feeling dizzy. on monday, he went to the doctor, and was told that he had a mild stroke, but nothing to worry about... then it happened. on tuesday, after i arrived home with shapeshifter, i realised my dad wasn't at home. so i asked my maid "tuan mana?" (where is boss?) she replied "tuan pegi hospital." i was like !!!!!!!! what the !!!!!!!! so i rang my ma. she said, he was really bad and she sent him to hospital. i was in self denial at that time. less than 1 hour after he, my sick father sent me to school, he was sent to the hospital. for some reason or other, i wasn't worried. i felt like a total b*#)$, my dad was there lying in hospital, and i didn't feel a thing. maybe it was shock. i don't know. anyway, my mom came back, and we went to see my dad. apparently, the whole world already knew about it, and when i got there, my tai-pak and sam-koo were already there. so i talked to dad. He didn't get out of bed, on pretext of being lazy. so i wasn't worried YET. i thought it was just him being his lazy self... anyway, he predicted being there for 3 days so i wasn't too worried. then. wednesday. after cisco. i saw my dad. and had the shock of my life. he was half paralyzed, left side unable to move. i stood there and stared. for 2 1/2 hours, i didn't say anything, just stood there and stared. dad was slurring, it was so difficult to do anything... there and then, i really thought that something bad was going to happen. and to tell you the truth, i was really scared. well i got home, and my tai-pak called. he was discussing with my mom to bring my dad to tan tock seng hosp instead of changi, beacause tts is the best for stroke rehabilitation, in addition, the best neurosurgeon was there. since cousin richard has connections, he would try, and knowing that we aren't really rich as hell they offered to pay as well. (btw, dad was in c class because he hates aircon and the service at CH is crap like hell. so much trouble to get one blanket, and you get put on the drip because you say you're hungry.) anyway. that's why i was sad today. i thought the worst was going to happen. the deterioration was really terrible. one day he could walk and talk and laugh, the next, he was lying there bed-ridden. in addition, my grandpa had stroke and all i remember was that he was stuck in a wheelchair, grumpy all the time, and my grandma was worn out as hell. that really got me. anyway, my brothers called me, one after another, telling me to be strong and think positive. i kinda lied. said that i was okay, told them i was fine... when i knew that it wasn't. i'm really sorry for lying to you guys, saying that "i'm okay" when i really wasn't. i sort of feel responsible for the melencholic tone in class today, felt that somehow my behaviour affected everyone. (esp after alex's theory that everyone was becoming simoneish). i'm really sorry... why am i telling you this? basically. i broke during debates. i guess tk was right. you can't keep it inside forever. i was out of sorts. and since we were discussing PARENTs and CHILDREN... it was quite a strain... ms naz called for break at 4pm, and she stared at me at said "What is the matter with you?" then... the wall fell. it just came. ... i guess she was right after all "silly girl. you've been bottling up inside you." she was right. i was trying to hard. sorry tk. i didn't believe you. waijia, i'm not as strong as you think i am. ruimin, sorry for lying to you... don't feel bad for me. please. i don't want your sympathy. i just came back from the hosp, and my dad's better today. his left leg is weak and can't move, but he's better. the physiotherapists worked with him. so he should be better soon. and he agreed to go to TTS hosp. the acupuncture and rehab is good, so hopefully it'll help him. my eldest 2 bros are coming down from malaysia to see dad tomorrow. hopefully, all will be well. please. don't start treating me different because you think that i can't handle it. life comes and goes... we'll all get through this together. and if the people up there decide that it's time to go, then there is nothing that we can do. as long as dad doesn't suffer. if you do want to help, just pray for him. and once again. thank you so much for your support. (btw. kev, i hope your brother is okay) |
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| Wednesday, January 30th, 2002 |
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...it's great having a fantastic family... a loving mother who understands. "no need to be sad, it's all in god's hand" a father that cares about you no matter what happens. "come i take you to school." a grandma who knows. "don't lean on the wall." four brothers who swear they'll be there "We're a family, and we'll live though this together." "He's going to be okay." "Call me and jie² amber if you are sad or anything" "We have to take things as they come." 3 sister in laws who care "Call me if anything is up." "I'll do your math homework for you." five uncles, and four aunts, that you know you can count on. "Everything's going to be okay." "We have to take things easy." "It's going to be hard, but we'll get through." cousins, who you can relate to. "Sim. Don't worry lar." neighbours who are concerned about you. "Enough to eat?" "Don't cry lar." "...Nevermind. It'll be alright." friends who you can lean on. "What's wrong?" "Want to talk about it?" "Okay or not?" "Cry if you want to." "..." thank you mom. thank you dad. thank you ah-ma. kor marc, kor jeff, kor chris, kor greg. jie amber, jie claudine, tai-pak, aunty eileen, sam-koo, ge-ko, sar-koo, sar-kim, tua-koo, tua-kim, aunty maureen, uncle kim, aunty phyllis. justin, donna, truds, malcom, tricia, richard, david, julie, joanne, jeremy. dajie-eun, xiaomei-kai. ruimin, jia, tk, lex, meme, jr, mel, becky, dufu, jerald, micht, eenie, bao, la, ame, pat, yance, qiao, becks, weiy, dax, the rest of 4L/M, kevin, geoff, ac/ri/ny/rg friends... thank you. |
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002 |
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| ... it's a brand new day tomorrow. and well, do me a favor will you? tresure the ones you love and care for. you never know what may happen. | ||||
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| Sunday, January 27th, 2002 |
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wrong pic.. should be this one www.bluesummers.net/lostsoleil/squalldia |
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today... sigh... had tuition. slept through my alarm... which is a BIG THING. hmm.. oh well.. let's talk abt yesterday. debates - ah.. ruimin not quitting. cheer up girl. we all love you! hmm i get to be second speaker next week. kinda worried. i mean. i'm like so used to being first speaker, and the structure is so... imprinted in my mind. really worried about being second... but i'm kinda happy too. i mean, for the past 3 debates, i had to leave out 1 or 2 entire arguments because i didn't have enough time. hmm.. maybe i should speak faster. anyway. my brother came to see me. gave me my b'day prezzie. roxy bag. I love his gf man. we have like EXACT same tastes. so fun... spent the whole day talking about my brother and where to get cheap boots. hahahaha. she got me these damn cool tattoos. it's like a stencil, and a paint thingy which u splosh on. i got 2 of em on. a blue seahorse and a red vine and flowery thingy. so fun! then i realised that no one could see it... (well. since i don't feel like scrubbing it off b4 i go to school i suppose that that is a good thing.) went to robinson. trying to find shoes. don't have my size. end up going to ps to get shoes. i lost an earring in the course of the day. :( sad ne? ohh.. i saw this guy wearing a shirt with wing zero on it. and howcome deathscythe hell custom is only 40? why is g-wing so much cheaper than eva? not fair lar... :( hmm... yeah. survey time...
who in the world is this?  sigh. hyde is cooler. Laraku roxors! (that was the only good thing abt ff:tsw. Which female character from Final Fantasy 4-10 are you? Go find out here! made by ![](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20020223081259im_/http:/=2fwww.trance-star.net/kaworu2.jpg") Which Eva character are you most like? Quiz by  catgurlbeautiful. simply beautiful... for a sec i thought i'd end up with asuka... because of the ecchi and the more than one language... but for some reason she's right at the bottom... rei was second... i think that had sth to do with the "i am a clone" option... and shinji was third. still kaworu-kun! watashi ga kaworu-kun daisuki desu! and tk. u are the best shinji in the entire world!
hahahaha... i think this test is screwed... here's my number 2 option...
and number three...
number 4 was ellone... screwed up? i should think so... i mean... how the hell did i get that! the 4 aren't exactly very alike...
hmm... i predicted nakazawa. but oh hell... and why is my second match maki? hell. maki is like... hmm ailin said i look like someone from morning musume... either mini moni or tampopo group... sigh. i'm not exactly a morning musume fan... so...  Take the "Which Tenshi ni Narumon! Character are you?" Quiz! by Genrou! cute. tenshi ni narumon. hmm... maybe i should read that next... btw. this is damn cute www.bluesummers.net/lostsoleil/sydney.ht |
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| Thursday, January 24th, 2002 |
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how the toot am i gonna finish? i can't even find a nice pic. i'm gonna do arashi kishuu... problematic... yes 1)i want her miko cost 2)...i need a tailor 3)i need a good pic 4)i need her sword 5)...yeah. i have like 1 mth. |
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| Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002 |
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thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou yes. thanks a lot guys, you made today so damn special... let's have a write up shall we 1)went to school 2)went to 4L to loiter as usual 3)came back to 4M 4)caleb came and said "MON! bran wants u to go over" 5)i said 'wait lar' 6)he was being ultra anal and said "brandon wants you to go there NOW" in his typical "stapler" voice... 7)bran said sth like "nfoeuahfoaejpdmkpaefoijaeijfgio" 8)i went back to class to see a prezzie from jia on my table. 9)suddenly these pple flocked from nowhere 10)ruimin started her hugging rounds 11)rui left 12)rui came back for hug round 2 13)tk came with przzie 14)it was wrapped in like 20 layers of paper 15)they wanted to use ducttape and elepahant glue 16)they stole my table cloth to wrap it because white paper is too sianz 17)opened it 18)controled my excitement --- 19)jumped around like mad screaming "celticdragoncelticdragon" 20)can't remember. 21)went home 22)kai called me 23)went eun's hse 24)b'day cake 25)...sinful 26)writing lj hmm.. yea during cisco... what mr lim ultra anal today.. "U MUST GET 80 and above." i got 86. then went around telling pple answers... hahaha... he saw me reading the celtic dragon guide... he said "dragon oracle??? tarot (he pronouced it TAAA_ROOOH) NONONONONONONONONO. KEEP. NOW. CISCO. TEST. DO." laffing like mad. tried to consecrate the cards... my ma busted in when i just casted the circle to use my room for her leg massage... :( consecrate later... hmm... thanks again guys. u are the best. |
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LiveJournal for kurai.
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melancholy.
listless.
pensive.
hopeful.
amused.
guilty.
grateful.
happy.
tired.
pissed off.
sad.
blank.
satisfied.