[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Sazaku Gilgamesh Masasunaki's LiveJournal:
| Monday, February 4th, 2002 | |
| 12:07 am | Pure Superbowl ok time to recap the last few days or so. Alright, well I went to Source and got Renae's #. I haven't called her yet, I need to talk to her and get some more 1on1 time with her, she's so getting a massage this coming Wednesday. She's really cute and nice and has an amazing personality. We talked alot more than we did last time at Source. I took a part in the play called "The Loser". My line is, "Hey guys, I just bought the new Eminem CD, and it's tight." I actually say though, "Yo yo yo ese's. I just bought the new Eminem CD and it's tizight dizawgs." It's really funny, I have to ghetto-homie it. Alex, Anthony, and I saw the movie Brotherhood of the Wolf(Friday night). Well, it was good, the action scenes were awesome and the Rock-esque guy named Mani, the Indian guy was just plain cool. Him and Fronsac the main characters were just awesome. It was a good movie. We ended up meeting, the girls that we met last time, it was Danielle, Heather, Megan, and Tia; they had two guy-friends named Jason(lots of facial piercings) and Cody. Well, they got our numbers and we got their numbers, and we'll probably meet them this coming Friday, I think Heather and Danielle are cute, but I don't know about tia, she definately likes me. Not sure. I talked to Heather a little tonight. Then, Alex, Anthony, Jose and I went to the movies again on Saturday, since we weren't sure if the girls would show up again, cause they said they might come or have Tia's b-day party. We went into Black Hawk Down, even though Alex and I had seen it, Jose went to go get food, Alex wanted to see Mothman Prophecies, and I didn't feel like seeing it, so I stayed and the other three went and saw it and said it was a good movie, kinda spooky and creepy. I saw BHD and that movie really is pretty good. Hell fuckin yeah(exucse lang, but I'm happy, extremely)!! THE PATRIOTS FREAKIN WON THE SUPERBOWL, I TOLD SO MANY PEOPLE THAT THEY WOULD WIN AND THEY ALL LAUGHED AT ME, NOW I'M GOING TO COME BACK AND RUB IT ALL IN THEIR FACES CAUSE THEY LAUGHED AT MY ASS, SO HELL YEAH, AND EVEN THE NEWSPAPERS SAID THE RAMS WOULD HAVE 14 POINTS ON THEM EVEN WITH THE PATRIOTS' SUPERIOR SPECIAL TEAMS. YEAH 20-17, EAT THAT SHIZZEL MY NIZZELS, AND STICK THAT IN YOUR FREAKIN EAR RAM FANS. Ok, now off for some French homework, I'm purely slacking in that class, but Ms. Scott has changed she loves bitching at me, even when I'm silent, she'll pick my ass out of the crowd and starts blubbering. Anyways, it's ok. I'll finish all my work and watch her jaw-drop. Well, I'll update later and for anyone that needs recommendations on watching an Anime, yeah... Evangelion or Lain. Current Mood:  ecstaticCurrent Music: "ATWA" - System of a Down |
| Saturday, January 26th, 2002 | |
| 9:15 pm | Fun times and the word "Fuck" Yeah, well time for updating fun. Ok, recap the mall, yes many hot chicas, and yes many things and lil stuffy stuffy I want to buy, damn being broke. The mall was fun but the real fun was had at the Mickey D's close by. We stopped and ordered food, "fuck" must be the funnest word to use ever. When we got to Mickey D's, some woman's car alarm kept going off while she pumped gas, it was funny cause we could time it and yell "fuck" right before it went off... then inside, we talked to this hot chica, well I talked to her, the others stood behind me and watched my game being thrown, she was all giggley and smiling, her name was Odaly but she was a cute hispanic chica... and yeah she gave me free drinks, I felt special. Then, all these preppy chicas came in and sat by us and we moved to the corner and Anthony is almost as funny as Matt is... Anthony was yelling out, "llama is in the hamburgers", "pubic hair is mixed with the sausage", "elbow sex, yes!", "omg, I'm so preppy"... rofl I walked by them and tried to show my nipple and oh so noticable six pack rofl... Anyways, oh yeah... and when we were leaving we went through the drive-thru and ordered exactly $18.25 in pure food and drinks, we had that poor guy deleting and reseting orders like crazy and he asked "sir, are you sure you want pickles on your chicken sandwich" and then Anthony said "hell yes, lots of pickles.. no a shitload of pickles...stack that mutha"...and we ordered like 4 drinks, Anthony - "We want 4 drinks... all coke..yeah definately coke...", "but sir... what do you want with your Mc.Rib what drink?", "are you stupid we want coke.. we ordered 4 cokes and you ask what else we want, coke yes coke"... and then he told us the total and we just drove off without looking back, we laughed for like 10 mins...it was great. yeah well... I figured out that girls name that I met Wednes. the one that impressed me, her name was Renee... I asked Andrea if she knew the senior chica that I was talking to at Source... and she said yes... and I go..."what is her name.. heh I mean is it Renee or Regis or something" and she said it was Renee... I knew her name... yes...I don't feel stupid... now time to get her digits this Wed. I went with Alex, Matt, and Anthony to the movies to see Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, and it was stupid but yet extremely funny. I thought it was worth seeing and yeah, we almost picked up 4 hispanic chicas there.. but we didn't after Anthony was flirting with this one chica and had them go tell the girls we liked their asses and wanted to talk to them... then Alex and I just felt dumb and didn't try. Anthony is a damn pimp, he gets girls coming up to him at all times.. he had Heather(a nice, sorta strange punk/alternative chica), a prep(don't know her), and some other chicas talk to him... we started talking to this one girl named Mandy that sat in front of us in the movies along with her friends.. they were crazy... but eighth-graders and we just didn't try for them. Ok yeah well that's all I have to say in this update except that Creed's new CD isn't as good as their 1st or 2nd.. but is still alright in my book. oh yeah forgot at Burdines, we rode the elevators up and down looking at clevage and making fun of each other so others would stare in pure trances... it was funny. and we went to this pizza place cause it said free samples... the guy that was there was freakin awesome... he didn't say anything else other than the words "shit, fuck, and free slice" I'd explain it.. but it's too much to type out. Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: "One Last Breath" by Creed |
| Thursday, January 24th, 2002 | |
| 12:06 am | New Days, New Struggles Well, time to update, let's see... I went to a drama-related thing to help my community service hours for scholarships and college in general, and it was pretty fun, we spent like 3-4 hours there acting and brain-storming about ideas for this play we are currently working on. I met this girl, she's kinda cute and has an amazing personality, she kinda flirted back with me and I could tell she digged me even if it was only a little or a lot. I never really got her name, but I'll be sure to get it when I ask for some digits, she's half-mexicano, and a senior, she goes to gaither high school and she loves mexican food and we have some similar interests and common grounds... she's pretty amazing, I was surprised, she impressed me. Anyways, well, I'm looking into a nice benching set to work out more and build some definition, and I'm going to start running and purely training for soccer very soon, I hate to be mean, but our soocer team just kinda sucks I mean they've tied 3 games and lost like 6-8 games... I'm hoping with me and my friends, we might improve the team, kinda determined to make the soccer team a little better, and I'm not arrogant enough to say I'm good, cause I've seen good and I'm not them, but I aspire and have hope that the soccer team will start winning. I'm friggin' broke... just plain and purely broke... I need some pure cash out of the sky or anywhere really as long as it won't come back and bite me in the ass or something along those lines. I didn't go to youth Tues. just kinda lost touch with that one I went back to the youth that was really awesome, and had me really into it on Wednes, and I went with a friend and basically it has gone way downhill, the maturity kinda dropped, it didn't seem as serious as it did before, and the guy(main guy), he got like a total make-over and shaved off his long hair... I don't know but it wasn't what it was before and I respect their ways just not my style or something or other... I started watching Lain the other day, and that's a serious anime, purely thought-provoking and pure moody type film and it metaphors alot of real-life aspects, I love the "dark" type feel of it, it's different than the happy-go-lucky themes some animes have. The main protagonist, Lain, must be so traumatized through her experiences, it's as serious and deep as Evangelion if not more, can't wait to see the rest. Yeah, well I'm going to catch up on some homework or listen to some music and relax. Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd |
| Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002 | |
| 12:14 am | Black Hawk Down, sojive(sp?) cunno. Well, I haven't updated in a really long time. Anyways, I'm watching this show called Flipped on MTV, and damn, a girl is playing the part of learned that she's been diagnosed with HIV positive and yeah, it must suck to have that virus, I sympathize with all who have been unfortunately fucked by this virus... it's like deep depression seeing this. I seriously feel bad. But, past all this depression there's happier things to talk about, anyways, I subscribed to this new DVD thing where the first two weeks are free and you can basically rent as many DVDs as you want, you can have only 3 at any one time and hold them for as long as you want and when you send them back through mail(re-send with what they sent you) they send the next one you reserved to se... and only like $20 a month after the free two-weeks and that's just great. My friend bought the first two DVDs of the anime called Lain, it's looks all mysterious and isolated with it's dreary and enigma-type look on the covers, looks pretty serious and good, I recommend Evangelion to everyone, best freakin Anime out there damn it. I heard Trigun was good too. Youth tomorrow night/tonight... I don't know, I doubt I'll go I mean I have plenty of homework to do since like the last week I was sick for two days and then a field-trip for two days at USF, so I'm going to be behind for a week at least before I get caught up but Youth is sounding good, I need God more in my life than ever. I'm thinking about either creating an RPG and sending the idea to be published or writing my own book, but before I do that I'm going to read some books to I don't know... increase and broaden my horizons with more innovative and more stylish stories and enlarge my vocab, it's big but I usually don't use the words often enough to make the word fit correctly. Let's see... movies... recently I saw Orange County and that was kinda good, and kinda funny, I'd prolly see it once more. Black Hawk Down was good but just so much action that it left the story kinda trailing and made you like and feel for characters that were too rushed and died off too quick for any real sympathesizing or something. I heard so many good things about A Beautiful Mind, but have yet to see it, I'm pissed I want to see that damn movie, I tried today at University and it turns out it wasn't even at the movie theater, but my friend and I met up with some friends there and we messed with them a bit... and wtf... there were so many hot and beautiful Asian women, it was just amazing... Asians are fucking the best man... and there were so many, they are so sophiscated and beautiful it like boggles the mind or something. Franceska Lia block, an author I heard about from Rach awhile back, she's interested me for the longest time and I need some new perspectives, and her writing kinda intrigues me so I'm definately going to check her out, oh yeah before I forget I saw the Daria movie tonight on MTV called, "Isn't College Yet" or something like that... and it was pretty good.. rofl Upchuck that poor guy... although nerdy, he's a funny mofo. Well, I'll update later... I'm just glad I'm a virgin.. screw that STD shit... scares the hell outta me... makes me just want to cry for all those who have it... Current Mood:  exhaustedCurrent Music: "Crawling In The Dark" by Hoobastank |
| Saturday, January 5th, 2002 | |
| 1:43 am | Crouching Friends, Hidden Movies Well, heh I won't go through the drama that I've been through for the last week to two weeks, and that the title for this post is with meaning... Some friends can be really low... I mean lie straight to you even when you know what is going on. And Hidden movies... some movies have no symbolism, and then some movies have so much it just perplexes us how much thought could have been put in it.(Check Evangelion and Vanilla Sky for good choices, and if you don't like Vanilla Sky.. yeah well, you hate Evangelion and you got some jabs coming to ya.) Imposter, you know it has some good parts, but really this movie blows... it had some nice plot twisters, but really it almost made me cry... and not because it was good. Only because, it was that bad. Vanilla Sky was a good movie, better than most I've seen. Although, it's confusing at first and just downright strange, it's only because it gives the story away a little bit at a time and at different parts, basically if you miss one part, you could mess up the true meaning and how good it explained things to you. It had comedy, very nice plot twists(too many actually), was strange, and just really deep. I could go on and on about what it explained and how immersive I could get into detail, but I think a quote, from the movie or what I remember was the quote, will explain the movie. "Each minute that passes by, is another minute that we could have turned and changed it all back around." Current Mood: pessimisticCurrent Music: "People of the North Pole" by Nubuo Uematsu(FFX) |
| 1:32 am | A Post To Rachel... Distant Friend (I have put this in my journal in hopes of Rachel reading this since I can't post at her journal(and for good reason).) Alright before all the name calling and my bad judgement for not ending it... well you read some thing like this and watch the movie Vanilla Sky, yeah some feelings are going to be let out. First things first, I'd like to apologize to everyone for what happened recently, it was my fault and I believe you all agree with me on that. I shouldn't have stuck my nose in where I didn't belong.(To Josh, heh I always thought you were a funny guy, whether you didn't like me or not.) Anyways, I shouldn't even be responding but I believe if you guys read this that me apologizing and throwing out my pride for this... is at least worth it, worth reading. Secondly, although you're not naming names and yes, I could be wrong... I believe I was one of those people you may have been talking about. I'd just like to say I'm sorry for what we went through... I would take it back, but I wouldn't and the reason why is because we shared a friendship, I wouldn't take that back, I remember the night I met you... or introduced myself, it was in the back hall, while you and Matt were sitting on the stairsteps. You didn't say much, but I could almost see your loneliness although Matt was there and that helped alot, I still I guess saw you all down and gloomy. Like you had an untold pain, that you just would love to tell but at the same time couldn't bare to tell. I'm here to apologize is what I'm saying, and that I wouldn't take back anything except all the hurtful things we did to each other... and the hurtful things I did to Matt. Well, I, myself, am going through a hassle as well, but that is a different story and a different time. So, I will stop writing, but know that I'm being the most sincere I have been all year(well 2001 or something). Sorry, if these weren't the right words, I've never been good at explaining things.("Each minute that passes by, is another minute that we could have turned and changed it all back around.") |
| Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002 | |
| 11:55 pm | Choices of Fate
My Spirit Animal is the Dragon! Cycle of Power: Varies Aspects: Magick, Shapeshifting, Element Kinship The Aspects of the dragon vary by elemental alignment. This test made by Celtic_Shamanes  *spanks* I took the "What FFVIII Character Am I Most Like" Quiz here! Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: "Chop Suey" by System of a Down |
| Tuesday, January 1st, 2002 | |
| 9:57 pm | Silver Sparkling I went to the New Years Party, man it was great. i think they needed more wine coolers(the best) but they had some vodka and wine and beer. I didn't get drunk though, I don't like getting drunk. The hangovers are the worst, hate that. Anyways, I guess things will calm down on my journal now and that's cool. It was getting crazy anyway. Well, tomorrow I'm going to take Matt and go and get him some money and then Matt, Alex, Alex, Candi, Stas, Michelle(maybe), Jon(maybe), Amanda(maybe), and my new g/f Jen, are going to the movies and we're not sure which movie we'll see yet. Prolly, Orange County, How High, or Ocean 11 and maybe Vanilla Sky, but it'll be good to have a big bunch and watch(mmm... yeah watch) a nice lil movie. Well, I still need to log more hours on FFX, I'll update tomorrow or later. Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: "Over My Head" by Lit |
| Monday, December 31st, 2001 | |
| 5:40 pm | Strange... Extremely So Yeah, since Rach can't actually take the pressure from my friend, and blocked him cause well she can't take pressure then basically I will create a separate thread for my friend to do whatever he likes, I feel he should voice his opinions to whoever, cause we should all have that right or something. Yeah whatever really don't really care that much, heh if at all.. while you guys complain like it'll really do anything or solve anything I'll go do something with friends while you guys basically waste whatever life at the comp... so yeah freaks... Current Mood: cheerfulCurrent Music: "1000 Years" by Sting |
| 4:20 pm | What I know.... for Whom the Bells Toll Matt and Rach can cover-up and encrypt me as being "Coryn" or whatever and everyone else can play along, but whatever really. I don't have the time or the concern to really deal with all of it. I told my friend the sides of the stories I knew, so whatever doesn't come out right well, if I knew more of the story well then it wouldn't have came out wrong if he said it... but anyways whatever my friend says doesn't concern me, even if it helps or hurts, you deal with him if he writes it to you, no one come crying or bitching to me, I've grown tired of caring or even being support. I wrote what I needed to, Rach broke the thing we settled at the end and I said what I needed to so she can do whatever really and same with Matt. I also typed a response similar to this but locked it so if you can read it, please do so... anyways since those matters are explained and now dealt with, I will move on to much more happy news or something, I started playing MGS2 again since I wanted a break from FFX(awesome game, can't really match it) and I'm collecting dogtags once again I have like 40% in the game or more... this game is really something too, just the storyline and how everything is explained... just I don't know... perplexes me or some shit. well have a happy new year to everyone and to those who don't care that I'm wishing that... well then yeah fuck you... heh thanks everyone. I'll update later if I need to Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: "Desert Rose" by Sting |
| Sunday, December 30th, 2001 | |
| 11:10 am | Never Sure... Well, Metal Gear Solid 2(beaten a whilw ago.) was an amazing game, overall my favorite, but Final Fantasy X, yeah it's becoming godly. Only a matter of time before FFX is better than FFVIII. Anyways though, How is everyone? heh like the 3 people(if that...) that are reading this. Well, I'll update later or something. Got something on my mind, when I know what it is, I'll jot it down. Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: "To Bid You Farewell" - Opeth |
| Saturday, December 29th, 2001 | |
| 5:43 pm | Segment 2 I'm not sure what to do right now. It's like I have nothing more to live for other than having a family... all roads seem to end and curve into the only narrow street I have left. it's so different now, like I've realized something, I know what it is but yet still can't put my finger on it. heh, I need more love some romance not toys and treats. I wonder if I should even update this stupid thing, heh no one reads it really. |
| 12:27 pm | Good day, good times. I'm finally here to update this, and yeah well.... only one word really. threesome... a man's dream(yeah whether you're Christian or not, you've thought about it once. don't lie) "The three I see are three." perfect. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Opeth - "Benighted" |
| Thursday, November 29th, 2001 | |
| 8:38 pm | As Confident As Ever I Walk Alone...rofl Hey, had a big fight with Rachel. Sure, she was the girl of my dreams but after letting her friends decide what she was to believe by listening to them, letting some ring control her life, and her being afraid of 3rd and 4th base... yeah she's not really girl of dreams after that... Let's see... she(Rach has said everything that supposably her friends said, she likes to talk about other people and not say stuff to their faces) said Matt wouldn't be my friend anyway... sure it hurts but no big loss(no offense to anyone during this rambling... Sarah said I was just using her... she has never met me and prolly never will, this was also said while she wanted the old couple back... Josh said I was a complusive liar...rofl how though? all he heard me say was please, thank you and a review of a movie... illogical to think other than kind and perhaps not with the whole movie scene... Her mom said something... but I really don't care. She thinks I was an asshole for going out like that.. well so be it, she was a bitch then and I accepted her PMS bull being the nice guy I am or something... then talking to everyone and realizing what she did was horrible... I had to bitch her out for it... so perhaps I did fill the guesses of her friends, but only after what she did to me... so it's like nullified or something. She needs to grow up about the whole love thing... I thought it existed when I was with her but once again proven clear as day, that love really isn't there... Now, she's going to go complaining to whoever will listen to "her" side of the story and make me out as a bad guy but so be it, if she has to do that she's pathetic... Matt, although I can't stand you're chica right now, I'm willing to be friends even if you're not... but if not... then oh well ok? heh I'll update later as this progresses further or just stops or progresses from the mouth of Rach while I know nothing of... but whatever Current Mood: creative Current Music: "Don't Drink The Water" by Dave Matthews Band |
| Wednesday, November 21st, 2001 | |
| 10:39 pm | Day Something Segment 1 Hmm... Tuesday night was spectacular, thanks Lisa, I had an AMAZING time. Hope your safe on your trip and you come back safely, plans for Friday are intact and good to go. I'm glad Rach and Matt worked their problems out, it's good to see friends happy, although I wish I had her, Matt'll treat her good, and if he doesn't heh... well.. I won't explain what I'll do... but you be good to her Matt! :D Joyeaux Jour de Grace everyone! I'm happy can't you tell... wonder what it was? :D |
| Monday, November 19th, 2001 | |
| 6:42 am | Day 30 something Segment 3 I think they are 4 things that Rachel has to decide what she's going to do. 1. heart - it's how connected we are with others; attached, and how we love them 2. mind - it takes all the info regarding everything and and makes the worst possible scenario from it and best scenario from it and that helps her decide. 3. will - it gives us the power to do everything and the power to overcome anything and do whatever we see fit, it can overcome fate or destiny 4. soul - the soul is everything but can still be overwritten by the will, it's the heart, mind, and will along with everything else, what we feel, our personality, and other emotions. The way I see it, it's a 50% for Matt... 25% for me... and 25% unknown... Because, she went out with Matt for a stunning 8 months, she feels a huge attachment, the same as when my friend Amy. her and her b/f lasted 1 year and 2 months, she said she still loved but hated him too. I believe this deals with the heart, because they went out for so long she felt and still feels a huge attachment to Matt, for all the time they went out and all the moments they shared, she wants what they had back so thus giving him another chance. Her mind is also with Matt because she's spent so much time with him and notices changes from him and realizes that she could have been wrong, she analyzes 8 months with Matt and almost 1 month with Jesse... and sees the happiness of 8 months but tries to forget the pain of what happened during the 8 months, so this also goes to Matt. Her will, this will overtake anything, if she is determine to change her fate and her mind, heart, and soul and destiny then she can, I believe this can go either way, but since 50% already goes to Matt, I'll take this as my 25% since she leans towards him more than me currently. I mean, Bill Gates was prolly destined to be a nerd(not trying to be mean) but because he was treated so badly by others and through his experiences, he decided to change his fate and thus became/still is the richest man in the world. Her soul, I believe it's too confused to pick anything right now based on past experiences and what's she's going through right now, and what others might think of her twisted(according to her) nature. So that's unknown or something. Although she wants the thing Matt and her had back, which gave her meaning and made her feel the emotions that she desired, I believe she won't get what she deserves again because it's like a dream, when you go to sleep and have a dream it's awesome, but then you wake up from it and you're determined to dream it again, except the next time it's all messed up and dysfunctional. Maybe, I have what it takes to bring her meaning to her ends again, maybe I can truly make her happy, perhaps Matt can, only she can decide freely. Maybe I can be the next dream which usually surpasses and transcends the previous dream, just perhpas and maybe. I want you Rachel, don't listen to others who said "I left you because I didn't even like you", because that's way off base, because I have wanted you, I do love you still. Just when you make your final judgement use your mind, heart, soul, and will, unbiased. I know you think it was destiny to just marry Matt and that's understandable, your heart feels that way because it's so attached, but you have will you can change your fate and your destiny, do as you want.. do as Rachel wants. This is my opinion on everything so far. I don't care who reads it, don't criticize me for I believe this is how it is. Current Mood: contemplativeCurrent Music: "I Think I Love You" by David Cassidy |
| 12:37 am | Day 30 something Segment 2 Rachel, people tell you things, what they think, their opinions, and what might influence you... you don't have to listen to them, a lot of people want you and Matt together, it shouldn't matter what they want.. it's what you want... you don't have to listen to this either... but I'm just saying what I'm thinking... like you said, they are afraid of change, they'd prefer you and Matt... but don't listen to them, listen to your heart and soul, I know Sarah is your best friend and I uphold her as a great friend for her friendship and her determination and she's pretty smart too, but because she's a great friend you don't have to listen to her about Matt... she told me her story of why she wanted to get you two back together.. and I understood and she's a great friend... far better than most... but sometimes it's better to follow or to be guided by God or by your own will or by your soul or heart... you don't have to listen to me... I want you to decide who you want to be with... take however long you need. Current Mood: determined Current Music: "Skin" - Adema |
| 12:13 am | Day 30 something Segment 1 Rachel, I love you. I want no one but you. I don't know a lot of things about you, but I know enough to make me feel this way about you. I know you think this is an infactuation or something minor like that, but it isn't. I don't care if you're twisted or if you're too emotionally screwed up, that doesn't concern me... it concerns me but not to the point that it'd freak me out and leave you... because it wouldn't, I want to help lick those emotional wounds with the saliva of healing. I know you'll hurt Matt if you choose me, I know you'll hurt me if you choose him... but it doesn't matter cause I'll do whatever it takes to be in your arms again. To me honestly, I don't like to cut on people especially if I want to be their friend... but I don't think Matt has changed much or at all even... he still seems the same like he changed for one night to make an impression that you'd fall for... it worked but, I believe it was a fake self-image... no offense Matt, I'm just telling it how it is to me... my opinion. I don't expect anyone to listen to this, but to whoever it may concern, this is what I believe. Rachel, I ask for another chance... a second chance... God gives us many chances, but I'm asking for only one. Please allow me the honor of once again being your knight, your prince, your b/f... I will not accept no for an answer... whether you say yes or no... I will continue to try and earn that chance. Please... turn off your AT Field for me once... and pick me... I promise you will be healed... 8 months of Matt.. or 8 months of me... which would you have? if you pick the first one I understand who wouldn't... he's an awesome guy no doubts on that, but I'll continue to get you back... if you pick the 2nd one... then I'm the happiest, luckiest, and greatest guy in the world... and that I promise to help you and love you the way you should be... I'm sorry for my ignorance... it'll be corrected I assure you. Well, I'm done updating... I love you Rachel... you'll never know how much unless you give me the chance... please... I beg, plead or whatever. Current Mood: determined Current Music: "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor |
| Sunday, November 18th, 2001 | |
| 2:11 am | Day like 29 or 30 something or something heh, I've lost count of how long I've had this stupid lj.rofl. I'd like to use this post to apologize and ask forgiveness. First and foremost Matt: I'm truly sorry, my blindness and shallowness was my own vice. Right now we need to extend our friendship, take some time and stuff and be content, but you better be my farkin' friend mofo. Secondly Sarah, heh I don't think you read my lj but I'd like to apologize anyway, hearing what I didn't want to hear is almost a natural like mad-meter or something... as a human you can agree with me... but I'm sorry I vented at you, and would like to make it up to you, perhaps donate my last few bucks to Matt's fund...heh, I know you're going through a lot of emotional thoughts and everything with the new move but you have many great friends and you, yourself has proven to be the greatest of them all, you're a determined and pretty chica, heh be proud of that. Thirdly to Rachel, yeah, I sorry for not showing proper lovins or something... hey but I resisted Candi at the football game friday.. that has to be an apology in itself or something. Fourthly, anyone else who's mad or upset at me for being the immature, selfish, conceited, shallow, non-caring, bastard of a friend(insert also: dick, mofo, prick, Mexican something, or something else), I'm sorry to you guys and gals too. goodnight audience... Fan Count: *crickets chirping* ok this next part.. for pure journal entry goodness man today was tiring as fark, I helped my friend Matt move his stuff from storage out in lakeland to his somewhat new apartments upstairs, heh we had to drive the U-haul truck and the 89' car of Matt's mom and I was chosen to drive(why! Brandon's 19..heh he should have), we all rawked out to linkin park, sr-71, sum-41, saliva, system of a down, and a lot of other bands too... there were so many boxes but he's happy about it, man we worked ourselves to death... everything was pretty easy until the couch had to go up... it took 3 people Matt, Brandon(muscle mofo), and I(rofl) to get it up the stairs and almost killed Matt, heh sorry Matt, but his step-dad came and helped.. then it got stuck for a good 30 mins and then after straining ourselves we finally got it in... thank God, um... Brandon got paid like 10-20 bucks... I did it out a pure friendship(heh, I'm not completely shallow and selfish, I try to help often) because well, I'll go work if I need money(which I do heh *starts driving to work*). I think my left arm muscle ripped in the center, it's killing me... I came home and heard some shtuff and naturally made me mad, it would have to anyone else... but I'm sorry for being a jerk about it when I heard it... I took a shower and saw Shallow Hal again... that's what I needed, that movie will bring you out of a small slump... worked for me *smiles at camera and holds up a peace sign finger gesture*...well that's all...yes... yeah Current Mood: drainedCurrent Music: "Blow It Away" - Adema |
| Thursday, November 15th, 2001 | |
| 8:28 pm | Day 27 Segment 2 Heh... I know she wants time and that's alright because we can't just go from one relationship that lasted 8 months and then straight into another one and not feel conflicted and strange and weird. I could be reading more into this than was suppose to be, but I think this is a sign that she is giving me that it's over, you're a great guy, but not my type, and that's understandable because she's so perfect and good-looking, I'd never expect to get that, I believe there is someone though that has about the same match-up and it's a guy I've known for a little while and respect deeply even though he prolly doesn't know and that's matt... and I mean come on we all knew Matt and Rachel were the perfect couple, looked good together, looked like they enjoyed each other, and just the unmatchable couple, even Sarah can back me up on this... I think Rach and I should break up completely because I'm not worthy of her and I believe if Matt can get some things switched he'll be perfect for her. I withdraw, I'll sign on one more time and then after that, I prolly won't sign on again and prolly not go to youth either. Yes, ladies and gentlemen it was great and I'm glad I had somewhat of an audience too, and for you others who think I'm just hamming it up.. go eat tree bark or something freaks...(I know I said I wouldn't leave you but we prolly both believe it is best, I'm sorry I lied.) I could stand corrected but I believe this to be the way things are going. Matt, best luck to you man. Current Mood: Crying Current Music: "Chop Suey" - System of a Down |
