(( in love with a stranger )) [v.1] TRISH !

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Monday, February 25th, 2002

Subject:	hey dale..
Time:	10:35 pm.
Mood:	okay.
Music:	sarina paris - romeo's dead.

hey dale.. yeah you dale.. dale the cutie.. watch out.. i'm stalkin yahz ~! lol =P

you know.. since this year i'm turning TEEN.. i'm gonna buy a fishie ^__^.. and then next year.. i'm gonna buy another for myself.. and then the next.. and then.. and then.. and.. then..

my one and only romeo's dead.. la la la.. listen to your heart.. it knows you better than you know your own self.. ^__^

i remember an email from juDy a long time ago.. she sent me something saying about how she say "your romeo's brotha" and his friends at stonestown.. hehe.. guess who she was talking about.. no not benny.. she said she saw benny but that's not what i'm talking about.. lol.. forget the "brother" itsh the lil one ! ^__^ but he's frikkin tall now.. i walked by him on that day when we had the violence prevention thingy and damn.. lol he's tall.. yepyep ^__^ lol everyone's growing now.. i'm still the same =) hopefully me as a person hasn't changed yet.. i hope.. =X

tcnk ? tckn ? tnck ? what the fudgies ? man all i know is that tony's up in front ^__^ but.. what's the correct order ? DAMN lol.. ohhh.. okay.. i just.. talked with kevin.. lol.. tcnk.. ^__~

GOODNIGHT ~! hahaha..

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	la la la =X
Time:	8:03 pm.
Mood:	numb.
Music:	usher - separated.

baby you'll do well.. and i'll be fine.. because we're better off.. separated..

my head hurts. =( i have nothing to do. =( no one to talk to. =( except well.. that one person who keeps talking to me. =( my head hurts. =(

sometimes i wish i can change the past. but then sometimes i like my past because i wouldn't be the person i am now if it weren't for my experiences. but what experiences did i even have ? somehow it seems like a big deal was made out of nothing. =( a big 99% of it should all be blamed on me, but then i can't blame all of it on me. it's not really all my fault everything happened.. but it doesn't matter now because it can't be changed. the past is the past. the only thing i can change is the future.. tomorrow.. =(

where's the good in goodbye ? =(

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	GRR
Time:	5:25 pm.
Mood:	blank.
Music:	dj mystik - hey raver.

STOP STEALING !! WAAAHHHHHHHHH.. see that's why i left livejournal =( code stealers.. and and and.. i only came back because of the comments ^__^ lol yeah.. =P

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Sunday, February 24th, 2002

Subject:	webcam wars..
Time:	9:48 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	dj liquid - crystal forest.

::point:: NICOLE ! =D LOOK ! happy webcam day ! lol

waaiii..

my mom said that tuesday is the chinese valentine's day.. hrmm.. my fishie died today =( stupid filter.. i told him not to put it in the big tank with all the others.. ughh.. i need an undergravel filter.. oO and did you know my brother sucks ? so what if i'm loud ? hrmph him and his friends are frikkin loud too.. grRr.. anyhoo.. i'm off then..

oh yes.. HAHAHAHA WENDY >=) ! yepyep.. haha..

3 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Saturday, February 23rd, 2002

Subject:	hmm..
Time:	9:02 pm.
Mood:	optimistic.
Music:	brian mcknight - 6, 8, 12.

i miss you so much and i don't know what to say
i should be over you
i should know better but it's just not the case

it's hard enough just passing the time
when i can't seem to get you off my mind
and where is the good in goodbye ?
tell me why.. tell me why..

*sighh*.. hehe,, it's been six moths eight days twelve hours since you went away.. la la la.. nah.. hehe.. dOod.. i don't know who to believe anymore.. i'm living off a big fat lie.. everyone's been telling me something different.. and i don't really want to ask for the truth.. yeah you're going to comment me now and tell me.. "go ask him how he feels !! you'll never know unless you ask !!" but let me ask you this.. would you ask whoever if i told you to ? no i didn't really think so.. there's something about him that's so.. alluring.. i'm not sure if it's the right word because he's not all that.. erh.. let's keep that private =X haha.. but yeah.. i denno.. things are weird now.. anyways.. i'm off to tag up ciara's slambook.. i'm out.. =(

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	the parade..
Time:	8:19 pm.
Mood:	disappointed.
Music:	janet jackson - doesn't really matter.

quite a few disappointments this year =X why so many mistakes ? =( more dood with the red lion.. he fell.. waahhh and he was cute too and he got caught bewteen the.. things they're supposed to stand on.. waahhhh.. =(.. and.. where was nicole ?.. hrmm.. >\

oO you know the sf cheer/cheer sf ? lol yesh.. they messed up too.. and and and.. before they did their lil thing this dood was scratching his bum.. HAHAHA and i watching it at dinner and i started cracking up >P BWAHAHA.. haha yep..

it sucks too becuase i didn't tape ANYTHING from the last commercial to the ending.. WAAHHHH AND THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART !! i love the lion dancing =( SNIFF SNIFF haha.. =P but it was all very interesting ^__^

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	i just had to do this..
Time:	3:56 pm.
Mood:	optimistic.
Music:	trish thuy trang - deep in my heart.

Which Lion King Character Are You?

Created by CrazyCoasterCo.

even though i hate all these quizzes.. i just had to do this one.. lion king owns ! ^__-

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Friday, February 22nd, 2002

Subject:	hi =D
Time:	10:42 pm.

jojo: sup
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi
jojo: sup
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi
jojo: sup
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi
jojo: sup
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi
jojo: sup
jojo: haha
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi =P
jojo: sup
Li L AzNgRl x415: hi
jojo: yup
Li L AzNgRl x415: lol
Li L AzNgRl x415: =D
jojo: haha

3 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	lol library
Time:	5:24 pm.
Mood:	amused.
Music:	linkin park - in the end.

woO a trip to the library what fun ! lol jenna came along with me.. we went in and out of the library haha.. jenna was all like.. "is that all !?".. haha yepyep and then afterwards we went on up to athens because jenna wanted to see cleveland.. when we got there she pointed at the painting and said.. "why is there POWER RANGERS on the wall !?" lol haha.. that's what i get for taking a fourth grader along ? hahaha.. anyhoo jenna also pointed out to tom, aron, alex and.. i think david maxwell.. and she was like.. "who's that boy wearing yellow and white ? he's wearing the same colors as you !".. i looked over and BWAHAHA.. tom >P hahhaa.. so i told it was "that boy mom yelled at".. lol yep =P there were HELLA skaters there.. and then we walked over more.. i pointed and told jenna where susan's house was.. haha.. and then and then and then.. we walked back home.. lol.. jenna was HELLA tired.. >P.. she should get used to it though.. it's funny though because we left when it was kinda sunny.. and now it's even sprinkling.. haha.. poor bois.. out in the rain.. HAHAHA >PP

3 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Thursday, February 21st, 2002

Subject:	Now the public entry about it..
Time:	6:01 pm.
Mood:	rejected.
Music:	ja rule - furious.

FUCKIN FAG. GO AHEAD AND TELL. THAT'S THE BEST THING YOU CAN EVER DO HUH ? PUNK ASS FUCKER. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHERED BEING NICE TO YOU. IF YOU WERE CURIOUS ABOUT WHY I'M SO FUCKIN NICE TO YOU WAS BECAUSE I FELT FUCKIN SORRY FOR YOU SINCE NO ONE LIKED YOU. I THOUGHT THAT YOU MIGHT BE SOMEONE WHO I CAN TALK TO BUT NO I WAS SO FUCKIN STUPID TO MAKE THAT FUCKIN MISTAKE. ROGER CHAN. THE WORLD'S BIGGEST, FATTEST, STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKER. LEAVE KEVIN AND TONY ALONE. I NEVER TOLD YOU TO FUCKIN ASK THEM. THEY'RE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT ME, YOU STUPID THICKHEADED FUCKER. SO WHAT IF YOU KNOW I LIKE THEM ? THEY KNOW IT TOO ! AND THE LAST THING THEY'D WANT IS SOME FUCKER LIKE YOU TO FUCKIN SHOVE IT IN YOUR FACE. IF YOU'D EVER THINK ABOUT WANTING TO HEAR ME TALK TO YOU AGAIN, YOU CAN STOP THINKING. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU FUCKED THINGS UP. I WAS SO STUPID TO TRUST YOUR FUCKIN ASS AGAIN.

ISN'T IT OBVIOUS THAT I KNEW TONY DIDN'T LIKE ME ? OHHH BUT NO YOUR FUCKIN ASS HAD TO GO ALL UP IN HIS FACE AND ASK HIM WHY DIDN'T HE LIKE ME. STUPID FUCKER. AND NOW THERE'S KEVIN. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND SO I TOLD YOU WHEN YOU ASKED. BUT YOU FUCKIN SHITFACE WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT YOU'LL ASK HIM AND I TOLD YOU NO, DON'T ASK HIM. DID YOUR FUCKFACE LISTEN TO ME ? NO. YOU WENT AND ASKED HIM. I WATCHED YOU DO IT. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKIN BAD I FELT. I SHOULD'VE NEVER TRUSTED YOU. LATELY ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE BECAUSE OF YOU. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD MYSELF I'LL BE OKAY AFTER TONY ? FUCKER. JUST WHEN KEVIN POPS UP. THE MOTHERFUCKER COMES UP AND FUCKS UP EVERYTHING. RUINING IT ALL. NOW I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO THINK ABOUT A CHANCE WITH KEVIN BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN, THE BIG FUCKER ROGER COMES BY AND FUCKS IT ALL UP.

sometimes i think it's all my fault.. and mostly it is.. for even thinking about talking to roger. if i never talked to him.. i would've never been through what i went through..

8 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Wednesday, February 20th, 2002

Subject:	wow
Time:	6:11 pm.
Mood:	grateful.
Music:	kelly chan - kiss me.

I found my fifth grade yearbook. ^__^ *sigh* Watch the memories flow in..

Back in elementary school, I really didn't have any friends. Everyone grouped up with a few others. We had the Chinese people, the basketball people, the "popular" people. People that I still see in middle school, grammar school or junior high if you'd like. Anyway, I didn't quite fit in with any of the groups so I was alone most days. I remember those first days when I didn't know anything at all. Then a tall Chinese man walks in and calls out a list of names. We were told that all the people that were called were to go with him because he will be our new teacher. That's when I realized everyone being called was Chinese. What do they call those classes in where everyone in that class speaks mostly that language that isn't English ? It's starts with a B. Hmm.. I've been American-ized. Most of the people in my kindergarten and first grade classes were always speaking Chinese. I could understand them, but I've always been shy at speaking Chinese in regular school. Of course now I'm over that because of all the times I had to speak in front of the class during Chinese school. But anyway, I've always been shy when talking to everyone, 1) because was little and 2) because I didn't really know anyone. Once in a while I would have someone who talked to me because we were put together because of a project. But then after the project was finished, I could even expect to never hear from that person again. It was around second grade after I won that 2nd grade spelling bee the school held that I actually had people come up to me and congratulate me. Then I'd sometimes have people who would nod or wave at me. Next came people who actually sat with me and talked to me. It was funny because I was young and didn't know much yet, but I was looked upon as "that smart girl." Ever since that spelling bee I've had that reputation.

Speaking of that reputation, I've learned to be proud of it. There are times when people just go too far with the comments, but I'd alright with that. I know what they're hinting at, and I'm glad I know. Everyone can be successful, but I can't really see why some people don't try. This reminds me of the time during fifth grade when I was way overreacting. This new boy came to our class (and sadly, he goes to the school I attend now too) and began acting like he knew everything, acting like he was the smart one. Of course his grades weren't as great as mine (AHHH ! Didn't mean to brag. =X), but I was really getting tired of him. I would do anything and everything I could to make myself look better than him. Then came the class president, vice president, etc. elections. Yes yes, I won ! ^__^ I kind of regret it though because I ran against my then crush, Jin ! Haha yes, Jin is all looks but he's a jerk. Anyway, the vice president was this guy named Abraham (sp?). Maybe he thought that just because he was named after the great President that he would win my spot ? HAHA No. >P And yeah, at all those class meetings he kept acting like HE was in charge when I was supposed to be. I didn't mind at first because all the meetings were quite.. eh.. boring. Then I came back to Earth and found that he was taking control, so I came back in. I'm not sure if I made things better or worse, but I really liked all the attention. Yes. I was hungry for attention.

All that attention probably got to me. Now I wish that people didn't see me as a person they can take answers from. I was taking advantage of it all, and I wish I didn't. I don't wish for attention anymore. All I want is just the support and friendship from my friends. I don't need to act like someone else just because I want attention. No need to copy anyone; I'm unique enough. There's no one in this world like me. "Annabel's just like (name)." You might be that person who said that to me, or maybe thought that, but you're right and wrong. I might be like whoever in a way, but I'm part you too. All of my friends have influenced some part of me. Losing a friend is like losing a part of me. I've grown to love all the friends I have right now, whether they feel the same about me or not.

It would be too much for me to lose even just one of you...

1 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Monday, February 18th, 2002

Subject:	top of the mornin'..
Time:	8:28 am.
Mood:	lazy.
Music:	outkast - the whole world.

hehe this morning was funny..

me: i don't have money..
mom: huh ?
me: i don't have money for today..
mom: WHAT !?
me: i dont-
mom: yes you do ! all that new year's money and you say you don't have money ??
me: oohh.. that money..

hehe and yeah.. and when i asked for a ride from my dad..

me: can you drive me and my friends to metreon ?
dad: yeah
me: okay
dad: $20 please
me: why ?
dad: hey the taxi drives has to be paid

yepyep.. hehehe.. anyhoo today is supposed to be fun.. la la la.. i was reading my journal yesterday.. it's nice to see how much i changed.. how silly i was.. oO.. yepyep.. came across a few things.. HAHA.. kevin tran can kiss my ass and NO WENDY DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT HIM. goshness.. haha >P alritez i'm gone to eat breakfast or something.. i'm so colddddd..

2 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Saturday, February 16th, 2002

Subject:	la.. la la la la la
Time:	10:37 pm.
Mood:	drained.
Music:	cynthia - thinkin about you.

wheeeeeee.. umm yeah.. haha okaes.. monday monday hurry up..

is my voice cute ? ehh hmm.. my cousins were all like.. "you're voice is so cute !!" haha whatever you should listen to one of my older cousins (he's 22.. and studying to become an architect and i envy him) his voice is so cute !! hehehe.. my mom told me that when she was little she used to babysit him and she was all telling me what a cute lil boy he was.. while i was there looking at all the pictures.. hehe.. i wasn't even close to being born yet.. anyhoo.. yep he's ten years older than me.. waahhh.. one of my other cousins is one year older than me.. same birthday as jeanette ! hehe.. same day month and year.. haha.. i'm just one year back.. whee..

" if only wishes could be dreams and all my dreams could come true.. "

16 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Subject:	whoop whoop
Time:	9:09 pm.
Mood:	accomplished.
Music:	bambee - bumble bee.

YEAH ! haha now i'm back to LJ ^__~

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

Saturday, February 9th, 2002

Subject:	NICOLE
Time:	11:07 pm.

WAAAHHHHH AIM IS GAY ! WON'T LET ME BACK ON MY SCREENNAME !! ARGH !! SO YESH.. I'LL BE GONE NOW.. >\

1 said " Close your eyes and count to five. "

Sunday, February 3rd, 2002

Subject:	operator..
Time:	5:22 pm.
Mood:	infuriated.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you expect me to do all your dirty work ? You can't take advantage of me, you know. Learn to do it on your own or get someone else to do it for you. I'm tired of it. No I cannot help you. No No No. No. Period. It's not fair, and I don't even know why I agreed to help you. But what's done is done. Some say you can't get out of a situation until it's finished. Fuck it. I DON'T CARE. You know those little violence prevention things ? Walk away from fights ? I'LL WALK AWAY.

ever notice why i don't use any names when expressing my anger ? because some people are stupid enough to not even understand that i'm talking to them when their name is used. ughh.. and second.. it's not only one person

" Close your eyes and count to five. "

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