Friends LiveJournal for Laurel.
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| Tuesday, December 25th, 2001 |
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I was going to do a fashion show but it's hard to take good pictures of something more than just your face on a web cam. Anyway, I thought what the Hell and decided to post one. These are my new jammies. They're so warm and cuddly D: By the way, I'm l_ling, not giving you the finger. |
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 nova sweetie! i got the package & the ecard & the gift certificate! eeeee! thank you sooooo much. you're tooooo sweet. now i don't know what to choose... XOXOmiss alishas christmas - you have impeccable timing.. got your envelope in the mail today and i love it. i didn't know what to expect as i was opening it, i thought for sure some hair would come spilling out. i really do like the quote you chose. it's a "YES." quote. thank you.
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They're everywhere and all around! I've never felt so good before! This empty place inside of me is filling up I simply can not get enough I want it, oh I want it, oh I want it for my own  Tim Burton + Danny Elfman = Genius GOD I fucking love this movie. |
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* /frosti the snowman knew the sun was hot that day so he said let's run and we'll have some fun now before i melt away/ * |
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tonight i was looking for photographs of my old doggie, rainbow, to no avail. i saw her ashes (still in the sealed postal box) in the basement and decided, now is the time. i need to open them, i need to feel them slip through my fingers. (she died september of last year and my father was hesitant to open the box. so i let it be, for a while. but now i don 't know the next time i will be back here.) so i asked him if i could open them, and so we did. and she fits so perfectly in a small ziplock bag. amazing and beautiful. and although she was a small dog, she really wasn't *that* tiny. i am amazed. i opened the bag and held some of her inside of my palm, and it was such a special moment. (whenever i come back here i miss her more and more and . . ) and so then, i was talking to his amazing girlfriend about how i really wanted her to see the pictures and she made some comment when he came in the room and he got frustrated about not knowing where the photos were and took it out on me. and so i left the room and came in here to escape, because it hurt. i fell silent and climbed inside of myself, inside of here. he followed me and we talked and suddenly i lost all control and sobbed about a million things and he comforted me and i feel so pure now. i don't know why or how because although i adore him, and know i have so much of him in me, sometimes it is very hard to talk to him. you know. about things. you know, we can hang out and laugh together and play around and have fun but i am mostly hesitant to share what's really going on, emotionally, inside of me. and i feel so much better now. and janet, his ladyfriend or girlfriend of nearly two years couldn't be a more perfect match for him, and i truly adore her, and am so happy for him, for them. i love her. and it is amazing how well she and i get along, and can talk to each other, as friends, and maybe even close family-like members. she is a type5. i don't know. it's hard to describe. but i am happy for them. and i feel blessed, right now. because i know they love me too. and i really miss rainbow. (sigh) merry christmas. warm happy thoughts. yes. |
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one fifty EIGHT. man, I should be in bed. laura is keeping me up, she's showing me nude photos of her grandmother in a santa hat, holding a whip, it's getting me all excited. <3 Topaz4pm: I'll get my grams on the webcam tomorrow for you 8x even aphrodite: l_l Topaz4pm: she's HOT dude merry christmas and GOD BLESS. <3<3 jesus <3<3 |
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 polaroid spectra 1200si. polaroid spectra film. |
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| ohh shit. i like consuming sweet things. especially see's candy. and baklava. happy holidays! | ||||
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Dude. My living room is covered in boxes and wrapping paper, and that's just of the stuff from Dan, Rose, and Angel. Details can wait, let's get to the good stuff. I got: Le Tigre - Feminist Sweepstakes, a Soy Dessert Cook Book, and vegan candy from Laura. The Sims - Hot Date and Le Tigre - From the Desk of Mr. Lady from Jess Playstation 2 from my Dad The Simpsons Road Rage for PS2, Jesus Christ Superstar DVD, Nightmare Before Christmas DVD, and the Simpsons Monopoly from Dan Flanel Pajamas from Rose Darts, the entire Simpsons Pez dispensers, and a new jacket from Angel Sweater from Angel and Rose's parents Silent Hill 2, PS2 8mb memory card, 2 talking Simpsons dolls (Homer and Bart), candy, jumper cables and a window scraper brush thing for my car from my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins A vegetarian cook book, and 100 dollars from my Grandma Homemade chocolate and peanut butter fudge (vegan, of course), a hoody, and a lighter from my Great Grandma Damn, I'm smooth. I love my family and friends. |
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| Monday, December 24th, 2001 |
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 i got a pony for christmas. it's a toy one, but it's a pony none the less. |
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| I have cheesecake and an ancient Chipmunks Christmas record playing. Merry Christmas. | ||||||||
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why am i so apprehensive to express how i feel? i'll fucking admit it. i'm depressed. no one's bothered to call me from my family. just one person. my DAD. of all people. it just sort of makes me feel like.... well you're not in our immediate visual universe, so you don't exist. so i here i am, nearly in the middle of bumfuck nowhere spending christmas eve reading harry potter and listening to vespertine. when i should be in rosenberg laying on the floor listening to my mother and grandfather talk. my stereo is on and my computer is making it's usual humming noise but everything feels so silent and its stuck to my skin. |
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i find it disconcerting that this holiday means nothing to me. i mean, it does.. but not alot. even last year i looked forward to it... last year's christmas was terrible. so this is in the long steady stream, i guess. i suppose most of it has to do with the fact that i'm not home. also... as superficial as this sounds, in my family, you don't really get presents once you 'grow up'. i don't think my grandparents are going to give me anything. that hurts. i feel like calling them, but i don't really want to. everyone will be there, and the phone will be passed from person to person and everyone will ask me what the fuck i'm doing here (and i don't even have a reason, really.) so i'm trying not to get overly upset or anything. it's just an extra day, with the inconvenience of no public transportation and blah blah. today my le tigre lp came in the mail :D ! i ordered it months ago, i thought it had gotten lost in the mail or something >( it's only eight oclock but i'm exhausted. sebastien is coming to visit on the eighth. and will be here for about a week @(*&#(*@&#@(*#&@#@(*& :D ! just thinking about that... is keeping me from falling into the bottomless pit of boredom. rockrockrock. |
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Die Sonne scheint mir aus den Händen kann verbrennen, kann dich blenden wenn sie aus den Fäusten bricht legt sich heiss auf dein Gesicht legt sich schmerzend auf die Brust das Gleichgewicht wird zum Verlust lässt dich hart zu Boden gehen und die Welt zählt laut bis zehn |
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i didnt do to shabby this year, see our family opens the present before xmas because we dont believe in jesus 1. A lawyer 2.A leather coat 3.a saudejacket on sale from sears 4.A date sweater 5.the sweatshirt from animal house that says "COLLEGE" 6.a pimp ass robe 7.sheets and blanket for bed in dorm room 8.jimi hendrix calender 9.311 - ETSD2 (on order shall arrive shortly) 10.Primal Fear DVD 11.free with rebate walkie talkies 12.reservoir dogs Tshirt on the back it says "Four Perfect Killers, One Perfect Crime, Now All they Have to Fear is Each Other" 13. Blank CD-Rs 14. Fleece Blanket And now for the college dorm room kit Box of band Aids (1) Bottle of Listerine (1) Shaving gel (1) Razors (8) Carmex (1) can opener (1) deoderant (1) Finger Nail Clippers (1) Toe Nail Clippers (1) ill post pictures some other time, now you can all hate me |
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 all dressed up pretty in my new sweater, waiting for jon on christmas eve... :D jon and i are going out for chinese food and exchanging gifts tonight...oh, i am so excited! merry christmas, kids! xoxo |
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Is life so fast paced that we cannot take the time to contact one another once in a blue moon, and just check in or say "hello i'm good, how are you?" Bloody Hell! =Y |
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If you're bored go here E V O L U T I O N Best Viewed With Any Monitor Above 800 x 600. |
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 MERRY CHRISTMAS to each and everyone one of you from both of us!. |
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 Which Rocky character are you? [hehehe!!! how i heart Columbia!] |
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| Tuesday, December 25th, 2001 |
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Had a great christmas eve.. Got some great pressies too. A coffee brewer, a coffee blender, a bag of whole java coffee beans. Yup, you're all invited in for a cup of coffee (except you wampires out there ;) A book that tells how to survive most things. Great stuff like how to jump off a moving train and how to land a crashing plane on the ocean. A very usefull book. Going to visit the rest of the family tomorrow. |
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| Monday, December 24th, 2001 |
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| yeah shes still cool and all i just thought it was really retarded cuz she IMd me on that fakie screenname like just hours before the incident. but all is forgiven because shes cool like that, yeah nuckas | ||||||||||
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It's December 24th, I'm sure that most of you have also realized this. It doesn't seem like Christmas, maybe because this is our family's first year without a tree of any kind... financially struggling, and still attempting to remain happy. I haven't had much to say, because there's nothing happening. Everyday still feels the same. I'm sad. Merry Christmas. I'm pretty sure you all deserve a satisfying holiday. I love most of you and adore the others.. |
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I only had to work 6 hours. woo :D I slipped in my office and broke my butt :\ heels are BAD when its wet on the ground, you know?. a trucker brought us office chicks presents today!, we got gummy worms from fanny mays and!, we each got a 20$ gift certificate to Victoria Secrets l_l how fucking sweet is that?!. we thought at first that is was some suck ass perfume, but it was a certificate. yay :D I just got home and no one is here :( <3 I have nothing to say :x |
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V I trapped a firefly In the small jar of my life. Let it light me like a tree during winter. VI The benefits of living life in a box Outweigh the option of life in a rose. So I'll capture myself a sun to warm me. |
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i hate it when i ask my mother to NOT do something, and she goes right ahead and does it anyway. it doesnt matter how nicely i ask her...she's too headstrong for her own good. ...maybe that's where i got it from. speaking of parents and the holiday season, i have not heard anything from my father this year. usually i get something in the mail: a package full of presents that don't represent anything i am, a card with $100 in it, or even a phone call. not this year. i haven't heard a word. or a ring. or a rustle of paper. or the hum of gravel under delivery-truck wheels. maybe it's better this way. maybe i shouldnt get anything from him, because the sight of his handwriting might make me cry. it's quite possible that i would [once again] fall deeply into a bout of depression. he makes me so sad. i wish i could make him feel half the misery he makes me feel. |
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and that's how i clean my house. except for this room. it's this scary mess with books ALL OVER the floor and magazines bunched up into piles and stickers and cards and things just everywhere. there are photographs, too. filing and shredding is the song for tomorrow. merry x-mas. pre-christmas laundry is done. tonight's fun is the christmas mope-fest where we eat pasteles and empandas and then maybe we watch hbo, too.. i don't know if i'm getting any gifts out of this. i'd really be happier staying at home, but i really like pasteles. i found some old coats from when i was younger at my mom's. she was gonna throw them away cos they were so old so i cut off the buttons and took them home. i also weighed myself and got upset cos i've gained 5 lbs in the past year but then i realized how much fast-food shit i have been pumping into my system since working at the comic shop so i have no one to blame. i got jason "the medium is the massage" as a kind of x-mas gift cos he never read it, and a sketchbook. he seems more happy with the homer simpson cereal he got from alicia. i'm having second thoughts about having that party next week, 'cos it might end up just being 5 people sitting around being nervous. but anyway. |
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This wasn't a very good year for music was it :/ After the top five, it's just a big blur. |
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I have been dipped in the shinning silver armor of sex. We all have been, but it seems they left me to soak and wallow for a tad too long. I have been a very filthy boy. I was born to cater to strong beings desires. Control is the only thing I fully understand. If you cannot control me, you cannot have me, it is sad really. She might as well be Lolita in knee-highs playing with the hem of her skirt while watching the teacher with eagle eyes. You really do become what you believe. Isn't a sense of danger what it is really all about? I am not a friendly person. I should work on that. Not everyone deserves my attention though, well at least that is what some seem to think. Disjointed. Consumed. Cradled. Dirty. And just before Christmas. Lovely. Audio: Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg - La Decadance |
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Whenever I make a change, I'm a little worried that it may puzzle people. And sometimes I deliberately delay things for this reason. But after a while I find there is nothing I can do but go ahead. ~John Coltrane Big changes ahead. Soon. Very soon. Oh yeah, and...
When I was a kid I bought a book on the patterns necessary to beat pacman. I studied this book and all the maneuvers for two weeks, then went to the table version at the local pizza hut and spent 3 hours beating the game. One quarter. 99 levels. When I completed the last level the game broke. They were going to give my family free pizza for a week if I managed to beat it, but they changed their minds after it broke. it's not my fault I'm good at pacman. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... Even scarier is that a year ago my uncle bought a vintage standup model. And I remembered all the moves. Like all of them. Though his game didn't break. |
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I promised someone tonight something. and im glad i did. heres some more zak wisdom "when your really good and close friends with someone getting in fights suck but usually you know you will be friends again, its the little things that suck evan worse, like lying and the pretending like you didn't when your so caught up. and you didn't Evan have to lie, now this is just a matter of being able to believe stuff out of someones mouth, if they have no prob lying about stuff they didnt have to lie about what about the really big stuff? it leaves a lot of questions" yeah that basically happened tonight girl said night night on one screen name and went on another one that she didn't know i had on my buddylist (btw this is a real good close friend that i dont just talk to on the net and such) i was going to wait 30 minuets before i said anything as to rule out the "i was just checking my mail" excuse. she came back after like 24 minutes and i said me:back? her:yup me:sweet now keep in mind she never left. this is what i wouldve said, most of you prolly wont get it but iknow she will and this has something to do with a promise i made someone else tonight. "now your really gonna feel guilty. goodbye, im sorry" and i would singed off til tomorrow afternoon, she knows what im talken about that really hurt yo |
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Lucky you were born that far away So we could both make fun of distance I downloaded a shakira song. someone kill me :x Lucky that my breasts are small and humble So you don't confuse them with mountains ....haha, rad lyrics. merry christmas eve people! :D!! |
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| Sunday, December 23rd, 2001 |
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| Look at the spaceship. Sinking into stars and dying satellites that live beyond our time. Light years into...nothing. It's my birthday and I find words that I'm frightened to share. An anger, revolt, desperation, and an underlying faith in something secretive. Frequent overdoses of happiness can counterattack the days I don't want to live again. I climbed, trailed, tore against the unvoiced opinion that I couldn't charm off with witty comments and secluded sacrifices. The bell rings and sounds loudly for the little town people whose day will be nothing more than a tiny story in my book of life. So ring ring ring and I'll go on fighting a war which has no enemy. | ||||
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Friends LiveJournal for Laurel.
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sleepy.
excited.
lonely.
contemplative.
cheerful.
amused.
blah.
thoughtful.
complacent.
disappointed.