*~Stacey~*'s LiveJournal

Subject:	Fun Times w/ Tracey!
Time:	8:06 am.
Mood:	calm.
Music:	Good Morning America....

Okay, so yesterday, Kristen stoped by picked up her sandals & droped off my PINK ones. She told me about how her Dad had a Heart Attack 2 nights ago & how she was really upset all day @ school. :( She went to Florida w/ Josh's family yesterday & will be gone for a while, I am jealous... I wanna be in Florida too. While we get a snow storm... she is laying on the beach getting a tan. BLEH! Well, after that, me & Tracey ran some errands... I picked her up in the SIN WAGON & we were off to my bank to cash in my change... I had $171.98 in CHANGE!! Bling Bling... YAHH! Okay then we were off to Ryan's bank to do some stuff for him. Got some gas :::Trace, there is a BP on Jefferson!!!::: then off to Lakeside! We looked @ PROM dresses & went into Lord & Taylor... brings back some painful memories.... tear drop, PROM shopping from last year... STACE, WHAT SIZE DO YOU NEED, A 1 OR A 0?!?!?! Anyway, some very pretty dresses, tho I haven't been asked yet... still waiting to get asked by my BOYFRIEND!!! But yah, he is buying tickets soon but he still has NO DATE. Hahahaha Just Kidding. :) I'm prolly gonna just borrow someones dress from last year b/c there is NO NEED for me to buy a new one. They have one that is EXACTLY like the one I wore last year but it's not baby yellow, it's white w/ pink flowers instead of the yellow w/ white flowers... I think I am gonna take a pic of my PROM dress so everyone can see how beautiful my dress was... then after the LORD & TAYLOR we went around & returned some stuff.... for like .99 cents but it's okay! After that we attemped to tackle the escalator in Marshall Feild's the one we wanted was broken & in pieces so we were gonna do the one going UP one & just walk DOWN it... umm that was sooooo scary! Ahhh. Okay so we walked around for another 10 minutes or so until we just took the stairs! Okay so Me & Tracey don't sound like we had THAT much fun, but we did... after all that, we went to COLD COW for some YUMMY IOUSE CREAM! We switched it up a bit.... I got a Reese's Peanut Cup Flurry & Tracey got a Cho. Cone w/ Sprinkles. The usual is.... a HOT FUDGE SUNDAE & a small cone w/ Sprinkles, but either way... COLD COW is the best!!! It's the best IOUSE CREAM ever!!! This weekend, I think I might just have some ppl over to drink, seeing that I never drink & it might just be fun! Yah Yah! AHHHHH MY FOOT IS ASLEEP. I know that Tracey leaves in a few days & I'm gonna miss her sooo much! But ya know what..... the NSYNC concert is in just a few more days! WOO~HOO. I am pumped up. Nelly is an asshole, she makes a nest in my hair EVERYNIGHT & she needs to stop it! Grh. Last night me & Ryan finished the DVD 8 Seconds & it was really really good. It was the first movie to make Ryan cry when he was in 7th grade & OMG I can totally understand why! I was bawling my eyes out @ the end. It was such a good movie & I think that everyone should watch it with me again! But okay, I'm gonna go now, I have work in a few hours & need some rest & have some more things I HAVE to do. So bubye everyone! MUCH LOVE!!!! I love you Ryan. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

~Stacey~

Happy Belated Birthday to Vernon! Yay, I'm not the ONLY one that's 19 anymore! WOO~HOO.

Jenny & Elisa I'm not mad @ you ladies @ all! I called you Jenny to tell you that I wasn't mad @ you. Jessie told me that you mentioned that you thought I was pissed b/c you were @ the apartment but I wasn't, not @ all!

Tracey, have a blast @ the Mall of America! Think of me when you are @ the Disney Store! Muah!

Kristen, I hope your Daddy gets better soon, I'm very sorry to hear that he's not feeling so great. Good luck to your sister, I hope she makes the Cheer Team!

Ryan makes a good point the express way is much slower on Wednesdays! Baby... I love you, sooo much & if you do ASK ME to prom.... hahahaha you know I'll go w/ you! :) LOL. I'm sorry about you & your Daddy, I really am & I'm still here for you thru anything & you are MORE OF A REAL MAN!!!! MUAH. All of my love, FOREVER.

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Time:	1:09 pm.
Mood:	cold.
Music:	Lifetime Movies...... yay it's good..

Well, I'm gonna update! Yay Yay. Well, first off, GOD only knows when I'm gonna get my car back. The other night I saw my car driving... I wanted to cry. However, Olivia picked me & Jessie up in the 'Stang the other night & I've realized how badly I want a FB. I need another job & if things work out the way I really want them too, I can afford one by the end of summer. Hell Yeah!!!! Me, Jessie & Olivia ended up @ Taco Bell the other night... & they really fucked up my order. We were in line for maybe... 20 minutes & then the fat bitch inside, cleaned up a spill while the other girl was walking back & forth w/ our bag of food for another 5 minutes. Well, Olivia just wanted to be a bitch & she locked me in the back seat & locked the windows up too. WTF?!?!?! Sooo I couldn't ask for the manager. I took down the store number & called 1-800-2 TELL US. I'll prolly get coupons for like... $2.00 or something but, dah. I am seriously pissed. Well, I know I'll NEVER go there again. Anyway... I'm very tired. I slept all day & I want to go back to bed.... TIRED!!!!! I was gonna go into more update abut Ryan & us but I'm tired so I'll update more later maybe after work! Babe, I love you. MUAH. XOXOXOXOXOXO Much Love.

~Stacey~

Actually I think this movie is kinda... could be my life... Ohhh NO!

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Subject:	Disturbing.....
Time:	8:04 am.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	Lady Marmalade..... Moulin Rouge Gittchi Gittchi Ya Ya.. ;).

Ahh :::Sigh::: Okay today I had to break into my house. I got locked out. I am not happy about that. I banged on the back door for a few minutes but NO ONE woke. Luckly one of the many other cats we've had, broke out the screen on the back window & we still have a Little Tykes chair on the back porch. I opened the window & climed in. Kinda creapy if you ask me. It'd be really easy for some bad guy to break into my house! Ahhh! Soooo I just tell my Mom that they locked me out & she's like.... "It wasn't meant to." Fuck that. I don't even belong here anymore, that's how I feel. Okay, another thing..... yesterday was the first full day of spring, yet... it snowed all day & @ Noon it was 15 degrees outside in the "Motor City" WTF?!?! I haven't talked to Ryan since let's see here... Wednesday Night around 9. We are still fighting... & I'm unhappy.

On Wednesday me & Tracey went out & got Cold Cow after we went to My Coney & got some Tomato Floretine soup! Yummmm, it was sooo good. Then we went to the mall & checked out Prom Dresses, tho I'm not going as of now. Big mistake to eat first... We've decided to go on a diet... Yay! I tried on this really cute 2 piece dress, it was blue & OMG way cute but um yeah.... like I said... I can't eat until prom for it to look cute on me. Tried on this really pretty PINK dress. It is very similar to the dress I wore last year but in PINK. Too bad it didn't look right on me. Then we shopped around looking for bathing suits. I want one w/ Cherries on it, very bad but I can't find one that has the top that I need. Sigh. I need padding that I can remove, ya know? Tho I did find this one @ Value City that is kinda a werid print but none the less, kinda cool. I bought it. $20.00. Not bad for a Rampage bathing suit. I can still return it if it doesn't look cute on me. Of course I have the same problem I have EVERY year. My boobs. I swear to you all, I'm getting them done. I am! I am sooo unhappy w/ the way my body looks. I need to go running. It doesn't help when yesterday @ work Eric is like... "Woah Stace, what have you been eating? You have more jiggle now." If he only knew what I was dealing w/. Fuck that.

Jess & Sam are home again this weekend... which means..... NSync is in one more week or so! Yah! I'm excited & we have good seats too! OMG Chris & Lance! Yes!

On another note... I can not stand it when ppl don't type out the word YOU they type U or the word YOU'RE it's not UR or don't caplitize* their I Ahhhh! God that is soooo annoying. It makes it soo much harder to read when they type. Thought I'd share that. Another thing I can NOT STAND is ppl who write about their Sexual Stories in their Journals. If you ask me, tho you are not... you all sould like Trashy Whores. You don't see me saying... "Like OhMiGOd, last niTe Like totally, Me And RyAn blah blah blah AnD it wuz so greaT." Ewh. That is NO ONES business. Another thing I can NOT STAND is when ppl type like this... "so i wuz AT BasKetBalL ThE OtHeR DaY AnD ThIS ReaLLy HoTT GuY saId hi tO Me!." Ahhh... how can you read that?!??! I could barely type that out! Bleh!!!! Rarh. Sooo now I got out most of my frustrations. I feel better. I'm gonna go now I think. Yep, I am. Gotta shower, take things to the cleaners & get ready for work. YAY. Aren't you all jealous you can't work @ Coney. I know you are! Hahahaha. Just Kidding. Bubye.

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Time:	3:33 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.
Music:	Get Another Boyfriend.... BSB..

Yo! Sooo... what's up?! Nada here. Been chilling alot, nothing special. I yelled at Ryan the other night b/c he didn't thank me at the banquet infront of everyone. But.... whatever. He says he had a mind blank. Dah.. I'm over it! Anyway... he & Jason might go to Port Stanly for SB 2002. If he does go.... I hope he has fun. I have to trust him ya know. If he were to fuck up, then Peace Out. Ya know? It'd be his loss, FOREVER. Yesterday was another Ryan & Stacey day... we don't get those very often. I'm still working on his Scrap Book. That's bout it. I worked today & LakeShore had a half day... we got busy & the same fucking shit heads that came in before & didn't tip me, came in today & sat in my section... I don't think they tipped & then the fucker was like, "He has Herpes." or something like that.... do I care?!?!? NO! OMG, I was so annoyed... then I went back there to see if everything was okay & he's like,

Him: "Wait, no phone number?"
Me: "No, I have a boyfriend."
Him: "You didn't last time I came in."

::::Which is b/c Eric would tell every guy remotely close to my age, that I was single when I wasn't talking to Ryan.::::

Thank GOD they left. Sometimes I wish I could just spit in ppls food! Rarh. Okay well, I guess I'd better go b/c I have the whole world talking to me & I can't juggle all this........

Sarah, Carrie, Chilly, Sam, Olivia & Jessie..... AHHHHHHHHHH fuck me. Bye.

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Time:	1:12 pm.
Mood:	blah.
Music:	Can't Find The Words... Kci & JoJo... the whole CD. :).

Yo Yo Yo peeps! What's up? Okay so yah.... yesterday was a very fun night. LOL ladies. Honestly I can't believe we did that. OMG. So anyways... me & Ryan are fightin again... as usual. We just can't get along. Sometimes I wonder if things will ever work out for us. I hold things from the past over his head, yah I know it's not right... but I do. I just can't forget it. It hurt me, very bad. SIGH! So yah we fought this morning & Jason was here... I wish Jason wasn't here when we were fighing b/c it makes everything so hard. I feel like I have to act a certian way when Jason is here & blah blah blah. I hate it. He's being a nice guy to me tho... which amazes me. I'm just exaused from all this shit... then my MOM starts shit w/ me last night. She said to me that as long as I was a full time student she'd pay for my school. Well, I plan on going to Virgina Farell or whatever next year. I told her how Jess & Sam might come home for good & how they would want to rent out a house or maybe a 3 bedroom aprt w/ me. Which would be awesome. But anyway... she wasn't even happy for me. Which makes me even more mad. Why can't she just be happy for me?! So now she says she won't pay for school. Well, I don't want to live @ home... it's not an option... I can't live w/ Ryan @ home... yah I know... we are fighting but ya know? I'm soooo torn. What to do. AhhhhhhhAhhhhhhAhhhhhh. OMG! I can't deal. I'm sooo cranky lately... & everything that Ryan does makes me mad but I don't wanna be w/ anyone else! Cassie is mad @ me I hear. Why, you ask... b/c I "ditch" her when Jess & Sam come home. Heard I did. Actually I don't think I do. Me & Cassie are close friends but we NEVER hang out. EVER. So I don't see how it is possible to "ditch" someone when you NEVER hang out w/ them. BLAH! Now, I just found out some stuff about Trace... which she didn't tell me... tho she hasn't had a chance she still didn't tell me & I feel like I'm getting pushed further away... & it hurts. I feel like you can't get closer to any of your friends unless you push someone else away & it's horrible. I can't do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just wish I had killed myself when I wanted to. Bleh. Unhappy. Well, I'm gonna go get ready for another day @ work. Later Peeps.

Last night tho, was fucking crazy. I had soooo much fun. Me, Dana (we are all better now!!! I'm sorry.) Jessie, Sam, Meghan, & Mario.... all went to the NEW CONEY. It was tight. Mario left & Meghan came w/ the crew to... have fun. OMG it was a lot of fun... LOL. No comments tho... just clean, fun. Hey guys, I wanna look like AHMEDS MOM... COAT TURBANS! Okay Okay... never again.

Ryan's Mom gave me this bunny music box thing... I think I'm gonna save it for when we have kidos one day... perhaps. I was gonna give it to Carrie but I want it more! LOL sorry bout it Carrie. Speaking of Carrie... I saw her last night... "driving around" funny stuff. Okay... I am gonna go... getting ready for work.

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Subject:	No more Quality Cavy... RIP 3-13-02
Time:	2:20 pm.
Mood:	pissed off.
Music:	Raise Up... Petey Pablo... I love that song Trace!!!.

Well, first of all. I got into an accident yesterday. A pretty bad one @ that. My whole front end is gone. My windsheld is cracked like NO OTHER. My air bags went off. My passanger door won't open. My light covers are destroyed. What was left of my car was leaking pretty bad & making this wezzing sound. I got burned pretty bad on my arms... it hurt really bad. They are very swollen. I was flipping out, I didn't even talk to the girl besides to say, "I'm sorry." I cried forever. When I got ahold of my Daddy I was crying. I called Ryan b/c no one else would answer their phone. I just droped him off @ work so he couldn't leave, tho I wasn't expecting him to. 12 Mile & I-94. The officer came, I was crying. I couldn't stop. My car! OMG. So I got a ticket... $105... failure to stop in distance. My dedutable is $500 then my insurance that I always bitch about pays the rest... my car might be deemed a total lost if I have more then $7000 in damages. Me & Ryan have a bet on it... He says.. $4200 I say $4800. I kinda want my car to be considered a TOTAL LOSS, so I can get rid of it. YAY! Okay not really b/c I was so depressed about it. Thank you dear God that Tracey wasn't w/ me. THANK YOU! So I have a loaner again... yep yesterday I took my car in to get the oil changed, my brakes fixed & some basic maintence... I had this ugly ass car a Ford Escort Wagon... the FAG color... (shhh Tracey you know what color I am talking about) I was soo excited to get my car back too b/c this Wagon does not have even a TAPE player... it's GHETTO. Well, my car was at the shop for the day yesterday & I picked it up around 3 PM I wanted to wash it soooo bad, I went to the Dollar Store to get stuff to clean my tires... I was set. So I go to take my car to Murrary's to get some rim cleaner & BAM the fucking bitch infront of me slams on her brakes b/c she was gonna miss the enterance to Amaco. WTF?! Then she's all holding her neck & shit. FUCK YOU BITCH. So I was very excited to clean my Cavy... so I could drop the top & cruise w/ my Acey. Nope. TEAR! OMG it was horrible. I never want to drive again... well needless to say... guess who has that Ugly GAY colored wagon back? ME! It's horrible... no power windows... no power locks. No bumps... No CD player... NOTHING. Ryan finds it funny... too bad I don't.

Then.. today I was peeking around & snooping & found some shit out... it's okay... Me & Jessie are going to take care of it. YES WE ARE. DON'T FUCK W/ ME! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

Me & Ryan went to the new Coney on Gratiot this morning for Breakfast... Yummy. It is sooo nice. I want a job there. Mad Money.

Well, I'm off me & Ryan are supposed to visit Tony today @ U of M. Wish me luck... I am scared... sigh... later peeps... MUCH LOVE! MUAH!

~Stacey~

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Time:	8:02 am.
Mood:	thoughtful.
Music:	Live... Regis & that new girl... what's her name?.

Yo! OMG it's been a while... I'm not even that busy just BLAH! Okay here's a decent update. I've been working a lot, like 5 days a week about 25 hrs or so a week. Nutrition is FINALLY OVER!!!!! YAY! Ummm let's see... I am making good money but I know that when Darcy comes back to work... there go all those hours! Rawr. I went to states on Saturday w/ Vernon & Francillo. The girls were great & honestly deserved 6th!! Tho they got 9th... w/ a 10 pt deduction... someones shoe fell off... they were 10 pts from 6th! Sigh... No more Tracey cheer for me! Tear. Okay well, the drive home was horrible! OMG. I thought we were going to die in that storm. Tracey's mom called me a few times tho to make sure we were okay. Then Julz called me too. I felt so special. Ryan called me to tell me to stay there b/c the weather was soo bad & it was a bad drive home. Soooo many white outs, a Camero in the ditch... I guess Ryan saw a Firebrid chillin in a ditch too. AHHH Dear GOD NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was about an hour & 45 min drive to SVSU but it took 3 hours & 30 mins to get home. I took the guys home & started to drive by myself, the weather was fine then just as I was getting to the off ramp @ 94 east & harper a WHITE OUT! AHHH! I was sooo scared & my cell phone just died. On the ramp, I couldn't see the ditch or the curb... I could see nothing, no cars infront of me, I was horrified. Finally got back home to my baby. He was waiting up for me, sitting on the stairs. :) It was good to see him. I got home at 3:30 AM! AHHHH I woke up a few hours later for work @ 8:30. We were slow & there was no NEED for me to be there. Chilly came in, yet did NOT say "hi" to me! WTF?!?!? RAWR!

Sunday night Me, Ryan, Jimmy, Jessie, & Sam all went to the movies to see Super Troopers, it was good. AMC 30 baby! Yaahhh. Then to Coney. Yay. Actually that's when the night went to hell... Jimmy was being an ass, & so was Ryan... Sooo yeah. Me & Ryan are still not really talking. I've realized that I have been very selfish towards him, saying things I really shouldn't... like, "Leave." He has no where else to go. I really don't want him to leave tho... I just say it b/c I guess, I want to hurt him sometimes... I am so mean. I'm sickened by myself & my actions lately. I need to go shopping for Ryan today... I just don't get why he wants to do Track. I personally think he needs to work, b/c I can't afford my car, gas, groceries, & things by myself. I haven't gone shopping in such a long time, I can't handle it anymore! Ahh. I need a new bathing suit... one that supports me more & looks sooo sexy on me! Right? Okay, I'm gonna go now... I feel ill again... later peeps. MUCH LOVE.

Meghan told me some very funny stuff... the "STAT" girls for the B~Ball team had a crush on Ryan.... well, I knew that... & now they are doing Track too... & today they are supposed to bring Ryan candy. OMG ladies... I think this is funny.... girls want MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!! LOL!

~Stacey~

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Subject:	Jessie & Sammie's SB already starting.....
Time:	2:37 pm.
Mood:	cheerful.
Music:	Playmate of the Year... Zebrahead... Me & Julz!!! WOO~YAH!!.

What Sex Toy Are You?

Heheheh.... Sooo yah!

FRIDAY
I worked... then off to Ryan's B~Ball game. I picked up Meghan & Kara... off to Lincoln. It was such a good game... the guys really should have won!!!! Ryan had 32 points. He was on FIRE! Damn he looked sexy too!!!!!! Jessie, Rachel & Sammie baby came too! I taped as much of Ryan's game that I could before my battery died. I'm sooo proud of him. I taped Tracey cheering too. She was awesome. :) I love you Trace!!! After the game, Ryan took my car and Me, Jessie, Sammie, Rachel, Vernon, Jimmy & Meghan went out to Coney! It was really yummy... then I see this Skank. Yup... Linsdey Martenize... We were walking out & Jessie was saying Hiay to Jessica Lantzy & I saw Martenize w/ her all I said was... "I smell SKANK, let's bounce!" Well, she knew it was her & she flicked me off... OUCH that hurts... LOL. It was fun. After that we went to Mario's party of such. I got a pic of me & Pat for Tracey!!!!!!! She will be physced! Jessie, & Rachel dropped me off & saw NELLY. Everyone loves her... sooo cute.

Saturday
Went to Tracey & Julz's (okay fine... Lakeview's) Regional competion w/ Dana, Abby, Jessie & Rachel. It was tight! GO GIRLS! You guys soooo deserved 1st. But 3rd will do! They were 3 points away from 1st place... tho they are still going to States this coming Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! The team looked soo good & I'm proud of everyone of you ladies! Good Luck on Saturday... I'm thinking... TOP 5!!!!!! YAH! Me, Dana, & Abby all stayed for Class A. It was good. Roseville qualified for States! Good luck Jenny. Dana's younger cousin! It was a long drive to Davision... a few crazy turns... but we got home safely! After 8 or so... Ray, Kara, Bobby, Dana, Abby, Me, Tracey & Jenny all were at the aprt. watching the game & competion. Me & Abby sure had fun drving back.... hehe laundry basket?!?!?! Ryan came home & then Mikey & Turdy stoped by... they left & I went to bed. Sigh I was pooped out! Me & Ryan had a really good talk & I felt soooo way loved after we talked. It would sound outta context so I'm not gonna put that in here. Nelly is really cute & I'm making a baby book for her. :) HER NAME IS NOT BOJANGLES!!!!
This day marks the one year of the day Ryan's parentals came into my house & destroyed my life... everything went down hill from here... I started cutting more & stoped eatting... got down to 109 pounds... I'm doing better tho guys. :)

Sunday
Woke up & went to work... we were sooo slow! Rarw.... ppl need to start visiting me... Tho Tracey's Mom & Bill did come in!!! I felt loved. I called Jessie & she picked me up from work but guess who came up to work too?!?! Abby & Meghan. They both got really cute Tattoos on Friday nite. I like them alot ladies! :) I haven't seen Meg in such a long time, I miss seeing these ppl everyday. :/ Jessie & me went to her sisters Spring String Thing & it was... ZzZzZzZzZ... I was pooped... I felt rude falling asleep... sigh. After that I talked to Jimmy's parents about things & his Mom gave me a huge hug. I feel much better now. :) "I'm Sorry." :) After all that.... Me, Jessie & Jimmy went to Sam's house for her Mom & Gary's One Year Anniversary... tear drop the wedding... yah heard Ryan wasn't aloud to go w/ me to that... I was soooo depressed that day. It was... Flip, Sammie baby, Vernon (my date!!!!!!) Cassie, Me, Jessie & Jimmy... Sam's sis too. We watched Eddie Murphy's "DELERIOUS" It's sooo hilarious! OMG! Jessie got her CD player! It was a great day spending time w/ my wonderful friends that I pushed aside for Ryan 2 years ago. Me, Sammie, & Cassie just cuddled all day long into the night wacthing Pretty Woman. After all this... Mario & Olivia came over!!! YAY! I miss Mario soo much & Olivia is quite funny. :) Yeast?!?!? Okay & yah... Me & Jess picked up Jimmy & Ryan from B~Ball... then I went home & helped Ryan w/ his EDGAR homework... speaking of which I just threw all mine away 2 months ago & I could have helped him more. Went to bed around 1. I'm pretty stressed lately but right now I am fine... tho I have to go to work now... bleh. Me & Ryan got a phone line it's... 741~0373, so call us whenever... well after Wednesday! :) Okay guys... I'm off now... I'll talk to everyone soon I hope. I love you all sooo much!!!!!!! Wednesday is districts & Me, Mommy, Carol, Jessie, & Sammie are going... Yay... anyone else wanna join the Ryan fan club?! LOL just kidding Tracey you know I'm going for you!!!!!! I love you chica! MUAH! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Much Love peeps.

~Stacey~

Ryan babe, I love you & you are AWESOME @ B~Ball... MUAH! I'll be here for you thru anything. :)

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Time:	4:01 pm.
Mood:	bouncy.
Music:	Oprah... Teen abusive relationships....

Hiya... So yah!!!!!!!!! Me & Ryan went out to eat w/ Mikey... they ate... me... NOPE. We went to Travis. Sick! Okay so after that I called the Westland Shelter & the already adopted out the kitten... it didn't happen w/ that kitten so we came back to my house & called the Detroit Shelter. The shelter said they did have a few kittens!!!!!! I was soo excited & Ryan looked pretty phyced too! Sooo we got directions into the "D" finally found the place too! So we went in & it was really smelly but it was sooo clean. It was so hard, b/c I wanted to take everyone of the animals home!! But I couldn't. :( So we decided on this really cute 6 week old blackish, brown kitten. She is sooo cute! Sooo we signed all of the papers & at first were told that we couldn't take her home until Saturday, b/c she needed to get Spayed first. But we got to anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes we are going to get her spayed... of course. She is really sweet, but kinda scared. She purrs like crazy tho. We went to PetSmart after that & got some goodies... food, litter, a collar & name tag. We talked the whole ride home... on a name & some of them were Mr. BoJangles... tho it's a girl... Mrs. BoJangles. Princess BoJangles, Nifkin... lot of werid names & finally @ PetSmart we decided on.... ... ... ... NELLY! Yay! OMG I couldn't believe that Ryan agreeded to name him that... it was his idea! YES! I'm sooo happy. Her name tag is really cute... it's a pink heart that says

Nelly #1
(586) 776-7321
St. Louie

How tight is that?!?!? I know you are all soo jealous now... that I have Nelly! WOO~HOO! Okay, I'm very excited! :) Time for me to get ready for work... I can't wait for Regionals for Tracey! WOO~HOO!!!!! Go Tracey! Okay... I'm off for now... lata peeps! MUAH.
XOXOXOXOXOXO

Ryan, I love you babe.

~Stacey~

If anyone ever wants a pet... please go to the shelters first... the pet stores @ malls give the pets shots to shirnk their brains... so they are more calm... bleh! Please check out the shelters... Do it for the poor homeless animals. :) Thanks guys!

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Time:	5:04 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.
Music:	Jessie's IMs... & Channel 7 News about TEEN DRINKING!.

As I ponder... why, why he is mad at me... or is it that he is just stressed out or just tired... I dunno but it's frustrating me. RAWR!!!!!! We talked last night about adopting a kitten & he's up for it... I think we are going on Thursday to look into it. I'm not sure yet tho... but yay! He actually looked HAPPY when I mentioned a kitten but the thing is that he wants to name it... Mr. something... I'm not sure something about SNL. I don't think so. The name must be something decent. We can't go to the vet & be like, "yes our kittens name is PENIS!" I don't think so!!!!!

Soo I'm watching Channel 7 news & the dude was like, "Do you think your teenager drinks? The startling results from a survey up next!!!" Um ya think teenagers drink?!?!?!

Okay... I'm gonna go now.. nothing new to talk about... later peeps. MUCH LOVE.

~Stacey~
25 months....

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Subject:	My Weekend & more!
Time:	1:24 pm.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	Roll Out... Ludacris.

WOW!!! It's been a while. LJ was being a bitch again... I couldn't get into any of my pages!!!! Rawr! Soo yeah. I'm feeling a bit better, I worked all weekend. I hung out w/ Tracey!!! Yay, we went to Sammie's party together... then again on Saturday night w/ Dana! OMG I had a lot of fun. On Friday nite there was a LOT of Drama... I was crying, but I don't really remember what caused me to bawl my eyes out. I know that I was upset that Ryan & Tracey were talking, I dunno I think it was b/c he wasn't talking to me but he would talk to her. It hurt me. Bleh. On Friday nite I had a fifth of pucker, & bonged 3 beers then played quarters w/ Ryan, Tracey, Rachel & I think that was it. Yep, I was pretty messed up. Saturday, more ppl were @ Sam's. Lots of SL ppl. Some really trashy looking girl... WTF you don't wear that to a party in February!!!! Zac was like... "Shhh she's very nice." I don't care, so am I & I don't look like trash! It was fun w/ me & Dana talking... baby shit. "Smack down hotel... reservations for 2?" I'm glad that I got to hang out w/ everyone w/ Dana & Tracey... Me & Dana don't hang out nearly enough! Can't wait for Regionals & States! Me & Ryan fought Saturday nite too. Then all Sunday we didn't talk. I was talking to Jessie about things on the phone & Jimmy called Ryan. I heard what Ryan was saying to him & I flipped out, tried to leave. I hung up on Jessie, I feel soo bad but I was like, "Jess, I've gotta go. BYE!" She thought I was mad at her!... OOO NO JESSIE I'M NOT!! Jimmy talked to me for a bit & I came back to my senses. Me & Ryan talked a bit... about some things. We still need to talk alot tho. Sigh. We both have soo much built up deep inside that we have tried to push away for sooo long & now it's coming back & hurting what we have. I've tried so hard to push away the pain that has come to me from his actions, that I know it happend but I don't fully adjust that it did happen... I guess. I dunno deep painful memories that keep coming back up b/c we NEVER talked about them.

Session 9 is a really great movie. Jessie & Sam stayed w/ me & Ryan on Wednesday nite & we all stayed up until 5 AM watching it. Very creapy.

Sam & Jessie were coming home & spun out... landed in a ditch. They are okay but the story was funnier then hell! Jessie's Dad took off the van door one morning... left the car in reverse the door got pulled backward on the side of the house!!! LMFAO! :D

I had such a blast hanging out w/ Tracey over the weekend. It was great. We just go together... Tracey & Stacey... Stacey & Tracey. It just works. :) She bonged her first beer w/ me! WOO~HOO! Tracey is a champion! But I am still regining Champ!

I told Ryan that I feel that he feels I don't love him the way he wants me to. If that makes sense. Ya know.... like I love him w/ everything that I can, yet it's not enough. And to him... he feels that I don't love him the way he wants to be loved. Hard to explain but he kinda understood what I was getting at.

I think things are going to get better between us.

OOO yeah... I was kicking some major ass @ quarters on Saturday... then Mike booted me outta my seat & ruined my roll!

OMG, & now I'm pissed. Some FUCKER, who will be dealt w/ stole the tape outta my video camera! WTF?!?! Not like anything great was on there but I got Tracey bonging & Jimmy talking to Ryan on there. Tracey has everyone saying something nice about her on there too! I'll find out who did it & I will kill them!

Sam told me some stuff about Flip & it's sooo clear that he still loves her but he is scared b/c he's never felt this way before. Sam be happy & proud that he loves you... don't let that hurt you... b/c his feelings are strong... you can't deny feelings.... as we see now...

Dana made me a PURE MOODS: PURE GHETTO W/ NELLY for my Bday... it's sooo tight! She got me a shirt from American Eagle too & it's pink!!! Also this really yummy stuff from Lip Smackers! I love it... Thank you Dana! :) The gift bag was the best part tho!!!!!

Carrie got me a card... w/ a MING on it & it said... "HAPPY 20TH BRITHDAY, STACEY... ONE MORE YEAR!" Ummm tooo bad I am 19! What an ass... I've know her since I was 5!!! She is an ass! She also got me a TINKYWINKIE alarm clock! It's sooo cute! I love it... tho she is an asshole! Thank you!

Ming is soo cute, she is sleeping right now... sigh I love my baby doggie.

I still have beer shits. This sucks. Well, I'm off for now... I have work in about 2 hours & I gonna go look up Firebirds again... for shits & giggles. It's fun. I WANT ONE!

Tracey I am always here for you! Don't worry about things but no matter what, I'm here for you. Thank you sooo much for being the wonderful friend you are to me. I am soo lucky. I love you!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

~Stacey~

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Time:	11:04 am.
Mood:	sick.
Music:	History Channel.

Sighh... I'm feeling like shit. I had a fever last night & so did Ryan... He looked soo bad. We woke up this morning & the whole bed was soaking wet... yep... we both broke fevers. He took pretty good care of me last night.. I remember waking up & him standing there... giving me cough syrup... yuck! Then giving me lots of water. It was very sweet of him. Thank you.

I didn't go to my Puppa's yesterday. I'm gonna try to go tonight. I feel crappy tho.... instead I went to Mikey's & on the way there I did my hair... yup I'm that talented... I did my hair up used 45 bobby pins driving in rush hour traffic on Gratiot! Woo~Hoo. Me & Mikey got lost on the drive... werid. I guess HICK Inbreeders don't believe in Street Lites or Signs. Some kid w/ a LAZY eye, gave us directions. LOL, DANA!!!! Ryan almost dunked... that would have been tight.

I felt pretty loved... I thought Cassie forgot that it was my Bday but she didn't. :) Mikey, Me, Cassie, Vernon, TRACEY, Ryan & Jenny all went to Coney after the game. It was sooo yummy & I'm glad I hung out w/ Tracey. Her sister Kristin showed up w/ this kid I knew from Rick. Kristin looks really good. I like her hair, alot... long hair does look good on her. I asked her how she is feeling... she's said pretty good. I'm glad to hear that! Too bad none of us dumb asses knew what Chemotherpy was... A huge radation tube?!

The girl that Christina got into a fight w/ @ Ricks this summer was @ Coney too! LOL, Christina wanted me to protect her & fight for her skinny ass that night. It was fun.

I'm not going into work today. I feel sooo shitty. I'm going to bed now... I think Julia is mad at me.. I feel like she is always mad at me & I never can do anything right. Bleh. I hate it.

Paul from SB wished me a Happy Birthday today... he's sending me a card!
KC Wrote me an email.
Justin did too!
Lori sent me a card.

Now I'm sending Turdy one! It's his big day. Happy Birthday Jeff!!! Yay you are LEGAL! WOO~HOO!!!!!

Mikey's Mommy gave me a hug yesterday... she's soo nice. I used to be sooo scared of his parents. Too bad I wasn't cool w/ them then... like I am now!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
~Stacey~

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Subject:	MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY!!!! Happy Birthday to me!!!
Time:	4:17 pm.
Mood:	bouncy.
Music:	Ruff Ryders Anthem Remix... DMX.

And it's finally here.... MY BIRTHDAY! Woo Yah! I know you guys are all sooo excited for me! I can't belive it's my day!!! All MINE! MINE MINE MINE! Well, let's see here...
~Mikey called me last night to wish me a Happpy B~Dday!
~Turdy called me from Florida him & Jennis wished me a Happy B~Day... Turdy's is tomorrow!
~Julz told me @ school!
~Dana called me 4 times to see what I was up to for the night & to wish me a Happy B~Day!
~Tracey called me to wish me a Happy B~Day too!
~Carrie wrote me a way cute Email!!!!!!
~Sammie & Jessie too called me from CMU!
~CptBlondie01 [4:15 PM]: HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LOVE YOU
*** Olivia's in Georiga
~Elisa told Tracey to tell me Happy B~Day...
*** she's in Brazil!!!!
~joegtr34 [4:12 PM]: happy bday
*** Joe, Josh's cousin or something!
~lilpeanut9801 [4:35 PM]: HAPPY BDAY!!!!!
*** Jessie!!
~strwberyshrtck32 [4:35 PM]: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
***Frank!
~Shmorgana7 [4:39 PM]: HAPPY BDAY!!
*** Morgan Jessie & Sammie's Room Mate... I feel sooo special!
~DJ ChillyP [4:43 PM]: happy birthday yes?
***Chilly!!!!
~Shellee said Happy B~Day to me in her LJ
** So did Tracey, Amy, Meghan & Dana **

I feel very loved. I got Emails from companies today too, Happy Birthday Stacey!!! I feel soo damn special!

Well, yesterday, I started feeling like shit... what everyone else has had... now I have too. Bleh. I got home from work yesterday & in the aprt. Ryan made me CRAB dinner! YAY! He had the dinner table all set up & Christmas lites up too. It was sooo yummy. :) Thank you sweetie. You know in the movies how they show someone being a bitch & then they get a huge surprise... yah that's pretty much what happend last night... I was being a Bia to Ryan & he made me dinner as a surprise & I was yelling at him as I walked in the door. I felt foolish! He's not feeling better yet... I hope he does soon.

Today I went to his house & had lunch w/ him & his Mom she made us some awesome Periogies... Yummy. I think me & her are working on stuff... & I'm happy about that. :) :) :)

Tracey is honestly the greatest... I talk to her & everything just falls into place... :) I had something to say... but I forgot what it was. Bleh. OOOO my list of stuff sooo far.

~$25.00 from Carol
** A really nice towel turban... shhhh it's cool! :)
** Really pretty candle too!

~$75.00 from Mommy & Daddy
** The WORKS car wash @ Mr. C's.
** They are taking me to dinner in Cananda on Friday... I get to drink!!!! WOO~HOO!!

~$25.00 from my Puppa!

~Carrie got me something... I dunno what yet tho.
~Dana got me something too... I dunno what yet either... but I know I got a Cow Print Gift Bag & I am excited!!!
~Julz got me a big EEYORE & she's giving it to me @ the game!!! She was gonna bring to the game... but she didn't! Phew...

Well, I'm gonna go visit my Puppa for a bit then off to Mikey's... we are going to Marine City together for the game!!! Yah! Later Gators! I feel loved! WOO~HOOO.

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Time:	12:59 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	All or Nothing... O~Town.

Sometimes, I just can't deal... Deal w/ past memories... painful ones. I wonder sometimes, why I put myself thru them. I'm soooo ARGR!! Okay... like yesterday I was talking to Kristen & she told me how Ryan's parents called her about some ring. I'm not sure why, but that hurt me. I know she had nothing to do w/ it... I know that. But yet... It still hurt me, alot. Sighh. I know Ryan had nothing to do w/ that as well, but I took it out on him. Why do his parents have to fuck w/ my life! Why can't my relationship w/ Ryan be strictly Me & Ryan. Why does someone else always have to be involved? It hurts me. Then I talked to Becki tonight. She was telling me how his family is worried about him & what not... & how him living w/ me isn't exactly what they had in mind. I'm sure it's not. No it's not exactly what ANYONE planed but he's better off away from home. I find it kinda funny... everyone is soooo consirnded about him, yet when he was @ home... no one seemed very consirned. I'm peeved. It bugs me sooo much. ARGR! I'm sooo frustrated. I just don't get why, why everyone is up in my shit. I understand why HIS family is in his business. I totally understand. But why do ppl butt into mine? Why did his Mom & Dad have to call Kristen, she has nothing to do w/ ANY OF THIS! She is outta Ryan's life. Me & her are girls & we get along really good. Why did it hurt me then when his family called her... is it b/c I'm jealous that they like her, & not me? Then I think about the summer... how hurt I was everyday. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I thinking sooo much? I don't get it. I care about Ryan alot. I'm a forgiving person, so is it wrong of me... to get defensive sometimes about the past, if I've forgiven him? I'm not trying to attack him thru my journal... not at all. But I can't deal anymore... I just lay in bed & think. I don't even cry about it anymore. I can't. Tears just don't come out. The other night he asked me why I changed the song when we were listening to KCI & JOJO... when Crazy came on. He's like, "Why did you change that?" Then I changed it again a while later... Sometimes that song just hurts me soo much. I am being STUPID! Ahh! Then we get into ANOTHER fight last night, b/c I was pissed about his parents. I just don't get it... she wants me & her to be cool. But I AM NOT going out of my way to be cool w/ her again. She is the one who hurt me. The one who made me stay outta Ryan's life. She caused this... not me... & If I am to blame then Ryan is just as much to blame as well. Ya know? Sex isn't a sin! Then if we are supposed to be cool... why did she call KB & talk to her about Ryan about everything that is going on lately. I don't think Kristen cares. She didn't call me about the ring. When it would be more possiblity of it being mine... not hers. Grh. Well, yeah, I'll end this now... I'm gonna get ready for work & stuff, I guess.

Kristen, I'm sorry if any of this bothers you or offends you. That's not what I intended. But I have to get this out, & I'm sure you understand to an extent why it bugs me. It's nothing you did, @ ALL! I'm soo sorry if I hurt you by any of this. We are still THE SEXIEST SHIZZLE EVER! I love you!!!

Ryan... I'm sorry if you are upset that I spilled my guts to my journal... but I honestly can't handle this anymore. It's been nearly a year. Maybe I take too many things to heart, & perhaps that is something I need to deal w/ but until I can talk to you about this... face to face... I'm going to have to write in my journal about things. It's much eaiser to write things out then to try & find the words... plus my journal doesn't get pissy when I spill, I'm not saying you do tho... just that it's indifferent. I can't help but think that I am sharing you w/ Memories... of other girls. It hurts so much & you'll never understand, this pain that I still indure. I can't show you & I don't want you to feel it... ever.... I love you Poopy. I'm sorry about lastnight. MUAH! XOXOXO

~Stacey~

~*~*~*1 MORE DAY UNTIL MY 19TH BIRTHDAY*~*~*~

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Time:	2:22 pm.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	Best Friend... Brandy Carrie & Tracey! :).

Sighhh... Ryan means alot to me. Brrh I'm cold. I'm thinking about stuff... bleh. Well, I have to go already... nothing exciting has been going on in my life... & if I return Ry's PS2 we can get one for $250 not the $330 I paid! So I'm off to Meijers then to Blockbuster. Ry really needs to get a car!!!! Rawr! I want someone to go w/ me to Meijers but I don't feel like calling anyone. I'm sick of lots of stuff lately... I'm bitchy right now too... very much PMS sucks! I feel bad for Jenny. Yeah.. Friday nite me & Jenny went to Layfette w/ Nick, Aaron, Francillo, Andy & Mike. IT WAS FUN. Me & Jenny are Peanutbutter & Jelly on white bread! I think Mike & Stefanie are talking again... I hope that is a good thing... they both deserve to be happy. I hope that I hang out w/ Tracey this break, we haven't hung out in like a month! She's been sick & yesterday she SHOULD have called Jeff but she didn't! Argh!!!! I hope you start feeling better... I hope I start feeling better too! Well, I'm gonna go now... Yay! Later peeps.

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