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Sunday, January 6th, 2002
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12:52 am - Hello
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It's been forever since I made an entry.....I guess my problems have subsided for awhile...
I'm starting to feel some of them back again, however, in a sort of different way. I don't really know where my life is headed. I just know that I will, someday soon I might add, leave this place and find my true "groove". I just have no clue where I will find it.....but it won't be here.....there is absolutely NO opportunity in this area. I will never succeed unless I get away!!!!
AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well, at least I am almost finished with school. I will finally be free of that hellhole! I'll never have to see those people again!! Well, except a select few.....most I'll be glad to be rid of. I also don't know where my relationships stand.....I seem to be in a rut. I think that I'm selfish a lot of the time.....I just don't know what will come in the future, but I DO know that I don't wanna be wasting time. I just hope that I can figure it all out.....although I probably won't. It seems that the only time I type in this thing is when I have a problem and no one to talk to.....or no one to understand without judgment. I feel better to vent all of these emotions, and I feel like the action of typing is kind of a physical release for all the pent-up stress that I have. I always feel somewhat relieved when I am through. I know this is always I, I, I, but it's the only place that I can write my feelings and say what I am feeling.....being totally self-centered!!
Well, it's time for me to go........I'll type again when I have some other problems......Bye!
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| Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
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10:25 pm - say my name
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I have not been on here in forever!!!!!!
Well, I'm back baby. Oh yeah. I feel retarded right now. And I can't seem to type straight. HMMMM.............
I worked today...this morning! I can't believe it. I actually got up at 8:30. It was okay though.....I thought that it was better than nights.......and I made 19 bucks in tips. I do not want school to start back. It hasn't really kicked in yet that it's my last year. I don't really know what I'm gonna do. I just know that I have to make straight As and not let my GPA fall. I wish I knew where I'm gonna go to college. My choices are probably between the following: LMU, UVA-Wise, ETSU, King....and I don't want to think about any more right now. I guess I'll just have to stay collected and see how things turn out over the course of this next year. Well, enough of that school crap!
I have been having so much fun the past few days! I don't even really know why, I've just been in a good mood. Randy and I have really just had fun being together and hanging out doing nothing! It's good to be free to do stuff and not worry about school.
Well, I'm tired of typing now.......until we meet again.......aloha from Hawaii!!!!!!!!
current mood:  ditzy
current music: "Bad Day"- Fuel
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| Tuesday, July 17th, 2001
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12:10 am
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I went to a cookout at Randy's tonight. We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs on their new grill. It was okay.....we endured the family pretty well! Randy wasn't feeling too hot though. We started watching Dazed and Confused again today. That's two days in a row that we have watched it! It's still a classic. I got a copy of the Ozzfest 2001 CD today. It's pretty cool......most all of the bands on there are not very well-known, but they've got some really good music.
I saw two really awesome tattoos today that I'd like to get. One of them had a heart with this three-dimensional star in the middle of it and there were flames and sparkles coming up from the top of the heart. It had red, orange, yellow, pink, and purple in it and all the colors were really vivid. It was really sweet. The other one had this blue and yellow star in the middle of these flames that were all a different-colored blue. It also had sparkles around it and was very cool, too. I'm really wanting one badly. I'm gonna have one before the end of this year! :)
Well, I'm gonna go.......I've got things to do, like read my book....cya later!
current mood:  mellow
current music: "How It Feels"- Tom Pettey and The Heartbreakers
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| Friday, July 13th, 2001
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9:25 pm - AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
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Right now, I am pissed. I'm literally shaking all over. Feelings of confusion are wracking my body and my brain. I don't really know what to think or how to feel. Maybe all these frustrating feelings are a result of *nature*, but right now I don't feel like analyzing it. I just know that I'm pissed. I think I'm just gonna get a book, go to my room, and get into bed. I've gotta get up early in the morning anyway. I wish I just didn't have to see anyone for the rest of the night. I don't want to deal with anything at the moment. I am just so agitated! Well, that's enough for now........I needed to vent.
current mood:  pissed off
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| Wednesday, July 11th, 2001
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12:09 am - PIYVP!!!!!!
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Hello.......I've took a little break from the Livejournal thing for a couple days.....not necessarily intentional, I just have. But I'm back now....I guess I feel like I have something to type. Cleavage and I are probably going to see O-Town in Bristol in August. We tried listening to the radio tonight for a chance to win front row tickets and backstage passes, but they never had the contest. I suppose they'll have it tomorrow morning. Even if we don't win the tickets, we're still gonna go.
I think our vacation plans are maybe changing. I wanna go to Gulf Shores, AL. It's only 12 hours away. Myrtle Beach is about 8 hours away, so it's not really too much farther. Also, if we went to Gulf Shores, we could drive to New Orleans for a day. That would be really awesome! I've always wanted to go there. I also think that the beach in Gulf Shores is nicer and less crowded. That's always a plus.....the less people, the better.
I was off from work tonight. I'm also off tomorrow night. I'm really gonna have a whopping check when I get paid next. I've worked a lot of hours, especially this past week. I think we have a crew meeting this Saturday. I'll probably have to get Andrea to call me to get my ass out of the bed. I just can't seem to get up and stay awake! Maybe this week will be different though. I'll be in trouble if not. Sandy will kick my butt and send me on a one-week vacation! LOL!
I need to start on my summer reading. Well, actually I've already started, I just haven't made much progress. I'm about 6 chapters into Their Eyes Were Watching God. I have to read some tonight and hurry to get it over with.
I cannot believe that those "smarties" are gonna be taking Advanced with us. That really pisses me off! They shouldn't be allowed to do that.....we weren't. It's just not fair. Too, that's a bunch of crap about the one girl who's graduating early with us. That's just a crock! I hope, at the very least, that she's the only one graduating from that class. Not to mention that I don't like any of them, they all have higher GPAs than me, and I have the highest for my class. Oh, well......maybe all will work out for the best.
I think I'm gonna get off........I wanna talk to Mom before she goes to bed......cya!
current mood:  high
current music: "I'm a Believer"- Smashmouth (Only b-cuz it's on the radio)
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| Saturday, July 7th, 2001
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1:03 am - I'm Back!
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I haven't typed for a little while so I figured I'd get back on here. Yesterday I spent the night with Amy. I didn't get back home until 4 today and I had to work at 5. I had 6 and 1/2 hours today. We were pretty busy tonight. We had a wedding party that came in for a rehearsal dinner. That was what kept me busy for most of the night. I made 18 bucks in tips tonight. oh, well.
Randy's waterbed busted today. He's sleeping on the cold floor tonight! :(
I think Amy and Bryan might buy the bed from him if the water mattresses aren't that expensive. I hope they do, so I'll have a good bed when I go down there! :)
I'm off for the next 3 days! Yay! I can't believe it. I dunno what I'm doing tomorrow night because Randy has to work. Maybe I'll hang out with "Cleavage". She's probably gonna be home all night! *Hey Cleavage!* We might have to go to a family reunion tomorrow. It's supposed to be in the park, where it always is. I haven't been to one in years. They've arranged for some entertainment and stuff.....it might be fun....well, probably not. But anyway, I'm gonna go......cya later!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: "Is That Yo' B****"- Jay-Z (I think that's the song)
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| Wednesday, July 4th, 2001
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2:48 am - A Brief Hello
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Hello. I wasn't gonna type tonight but I guess I will a little bit. Right now I'm drugged up on Benadryl and I'm about to fall over on my keyboard. I'm so very tired. I got up at 2 today......I was an early riser for once! J/k! I got to watch Passions.....it's making me so mad right now, but I watch it anyway! Oh yeah.......I was stung by a wasp tonight...that's why I'm on Benadryl. Rachel and I were outside swimming about an hour ago. I got out, reached for my towel and grabbed the thing. It got me in the palm of my hand and it hurt like hell! I felt that sting straight through my hand all the way to the other side. It still freakin' hurts. I think I'll be okay.:)
Mom and I went to Middlesboro tonight. We did some grocery shopping and I bought some cute clothes. Other than that, my night has been uneventful. I can't believe I have to work tomorrow, on the 4th. I won't get to celebrate.:(
Well, maybe when I get off work. But anyway, that's all I have to say. G-bye!
current mood:  drained
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| Tuesday, July 3rd, 2001
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12:41 am - Tiresome Day
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Well, here it is. I woke up at 3 today, took a shower, got ready for work. I went to work at 5 and didn't leave until almost 12! I'm so freakin' tired. And I only made 10 bucks. That really sucked. Kris made more than me on his deliveries. I just couldn't get out of there for something happening....the phone would ring or people would come in, crap like that. There was this psycho guy who came in by himself and stayed there forever. He was hittin' on me and he really freaked me out. But he eventually left, so everything was okay. Amy and Bryan came in and ate tonight. I also saw Heather. We talked about a certain person that lies a lot. I've really got to get together with "the Heathers". Woo dogs! That's a little thing that Beaver wanted me to say. A sort of inside joke. Beaver also wanted me to put that we might get to meet O-Town. Piss the bed! They're gonna be in Greenville, SC at a Bi-Lo Center. Oh well. I'm so excited! J/k! Well, I'm out for now.......bye!
current mood: exhausted
current music: "All For Love"-O-Town
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| Sunday, July 1st, 2001
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10:28 pm - Fun Day
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Today has actually been pretty fun! I was awakened today at about 3 something and Randy came up at about 5. Don came down to the house and he went with us to Middlesboro. We went to Wal-Mart where I bought 2 new CDs, one was O-Town's newest and the other was Prince's Greatest Hits 2, I think. I also finally bought Major Payne! That movie is so hilarious! It was only like 10 bucks. Don knocked a bunch of these huge balls out of the cage thing that they keep 'em in back in the toys. We just ran off and left him! It was like, "He's not with us!" When we left there we went to Sonic and got a root beer float. It was quite refreshing. Then we went by Food City to see if Dude Where's My Car? was in. It wasn't. So then we just came back and Don took some pictures and video of us for when he goes back to Ohio. After that, he left and Randy and I came back to the house. We went swimming about 9 and that was fun. I thought the water was warm, but he froze to death so we got out. I ate some pizza and he ate some of my grandma's famous turkey on a sandwich and some soup. He left about 30 minutes ago.....he's gotta get up early in the morning and go to work. I've gotta work tomorrow night and that sucks because it's the first of the month! They're gonna be coming out of the woodwork tomorrow. All the skanks will be out. Well, that's all for now..........later!
current mood:  happy
current music: "Sexy M. F."-Prince
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3:12 am - Something I Wanted to Add
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Randy and I played this little game tonight where we would use each letter of the alphabet to say something sweet that we love about each other. For example, for "A", you could say "A, because you're Adorable," or something like that. It was really sweet! We tired to out-do each other by making up better phrases than the first person did! I think it was a good way to bring us closer, even if in a small way....our egos were probably huge by the time that game was over!
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2:57 am - Miscellaneous.............
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There is this girl that I know.........she is such a bitch! She lies all the time and it really pisses me off! I swear the girl has problems. I really honestly think she's psycho, badly demented! I just had to get that off my chest...
I am really awake right now. I have a pounding headache that has persisted since I was at work tonight. Also, I think I pulled a muscle in my back, it hurts to walk. That's kinda odd since I just had a massage yesterday......maybe it was just because my muscles were loosened up!
I saw Ashley today! We talked about how we need to see all of our friends this summer....I still need to call "the Heathers"! Haha! I also saw Andrea and Jamie at my wonderful workplace tonight! I have got to get ahold of Don. I just got an e-mail from him saying that he's in for vacation. Maybe Randy and I will see him this week.
I am really feeling better today about my problems, and I'm really looking forward to tomorrow! Randy and I are gonna be together when he gets off work at 4. I don't know what we're doing yet, but it'll be great whatever! I get paid tomorrow, too! Yay! Well, I'm gonna go..............g-bye!
current mood: excited
current music: "Take it to da House"- Trick Daddy
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| Saturday, June 30th, 2001
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2:10 am - Peace at Last.....Temporarily
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I'm really feeling better today. And you know what? My little sister is very nosy! She is reading this as I am typing it. Anyway, my problems have been sorted through, kinda. I haven't talked to Randy at all today! I don't know where his butt is, but he'll show up eventually. I talked to Amy about my problem. She halfway helped me get a grasp on what is going on. I at least got some perspective and trained counseling from her! I can't believe I even told her, though. I swore I wouldn't even mention it to anyone, but I had to. I was about to die. I still haven't come to a resolution. Oh well. In due time, I suppose. I went for a massage today! It was wonderful! I recommend it to everyone. I really think I could be a Massage Therapist for a living! Anyhoo, I'm starting to sound gay like someone I know.......so I'm gonna stop now! G-bye!
current mood:  melancholy
current music: "Baby I Would"-O-Town
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| Thursday, June 28th, 2001
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12:04 am - Pouring Out My Feelings
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Sometimes I don't even know why I am so moody, irrational, and uptight. It really bothers me and I don't know how to deal with it. I am too young to be obsessing over the silly things that bother me. I am on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I swear I can't get certain thoughts out of my head, about things in my relationships with people. There is one problem in particular and I just cannot let it be. I pray to God to help me overcome it and it hasn't happened yet. I just feel so guilty and depressed over it. It bothers me to the point of crying. I can just hope that the thought will go away.....but just to clarify, I'm not talking suicide or anything like that, if anyone is reading this. I am sick inside, poisoned by these thoughts and unknowledgeable of how to clear them up and banish them from my mind. I don't want to take an obvious alternative, because I love the state I'm in. I don't want to change anything about the state I'm in. But to help myself, I am without a solution. I will not take the obvious route, I don't want that. I just hope and pray that this situation will be cleared. I don't even know why I have these thoughts! There is no evident reason why I should have them. But the problem still remains.........oh well....so long for now........
current mood: lonely
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
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11:26 pm - Hectic Day
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I have been so stressed today! Everything has just upset me in some way and I've been majorly apathetic and depressed. I hate this time of the month! Right now I am so uncomfortable and restless. I think this is big word night! J/k! Anyway, I'm gonna go, Randy just called.......bye!
current mood:  bitchy
current music: "The Ghost of You and Me"-BBMak
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| Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
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10:56 pm - Almost Forgot.........
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Randy, Zac, and I went to see The Fast and the Furious last night. It was awesome! The chase scenes and souped-up cars were very cool. I didn't even want to see the movie, or at least I didn't care about seeing it. I liked it even more than Randy did! Well, leaving again.....bye!
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10:50 pm - My First Entry
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Well, this is my first entry! I finally just broke down and started typing. I think I'll probably use this thing a lot now! So.......my day has been so boring! I'm waiting for Randy to come home...he's at work right now. I had to work tonight but I got off early, thank God! I expected that tonight would be bad, but I didn't have one customer! Can you believe it? I need to call my friends and see what they're up to! We need to get together and hang out sometime this summer. I'm really wanting to get a tattoo! I think I might get a lizard or this fairy one that I saw, it was really pretty. I'm willing to go through the pain for it! Well, I'm gonna stop for now! G-bye!
current mood:  anxious
current music: "No Woman No Cry"-The Fugees
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