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mood |
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rejected |
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music |
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Android Lust - Where angels Lie. |
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I havent updated in a while it seems, numerous reasons; the most lame one that comes to mind at the moment is i have been in a rather teeth grinding claws out and poised kind of mood all week. Its probably safe to say i still am. I have had a shitload of work due for school over the last 2 weeks. Given the rather cunty circumstances of the year, i have had more trouble than usual completing it. I think current feelings influence the way i work far to much, i have had a heavy sense of "who gives a fuck i'll probably be dead next week anyways" attitude, which i hate. That is not me. Latley i have been wearing it a little to comfortably. All of it is done now, Yr 12 completed. I feel rather numb while saying that, i wish it ment a little more, perhaps one day it might, but at the moment its just one less headache. So i haven't seen anyone in ages. Aside pete briefly, we slept for about 5 hours upon my arrival, as we had both been awake the night before, him stressing over an exam, me punching out an essay till 5am . We ate, watched tv for an hour or so, asleep by around 12:30. I left today. He thought it was best i go...::shrug::. SO that was my social interaction for like, over 2 weeks. I had planned to stay there till late tomorrow, but oh wells...I just wish i knew that things were gonna turn out like this, i would have made other arrangments. I am sick to death of being alone. As much as i hate to say this, for the sheer clichè irritation of it. but oh wells, this is my journal right? my little personal slice of free therapy? yeah whatever. I think something is seriously fucking up in my brain. I feel so disassociated from everything i once breathed, lived, was. I dont have a life anymore. Ever feel like you just exist via text? thats what i feel like at the moment. Text. I think i will stop right now, as I have a vicious tongue at this hour, and given the chance, i will pour out alot of stuff that should not be made public, especially in the negative way it would be told at the moment.
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