Sunday, February 24th, 2002
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8:15 pm - Thinking, that's all
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On to happier things...
-I went with Roger to buy hair dye and we saw Paul at work
-Did I mention what a dandy guy Roger is?
-I got to meet Brittany's boyfriend. But I didn't take him a baked good. :o|
-I found Thursday's CD at Wal Mart and my mom got it for me. I've had it on my computer for months but I never have money to buy it. Well now I have it.
-I'm drinking Dr. Pepper.
-I found all this beautiful material with like clouds and stars and moons on it at Wal Mart and my mom said she'd make me pillow cases and whatnot for my room. Dark blue is pretty. Stars rock.
-The Mexicans are going to paint the house and she said I could paint my room but what's the point if you wouldn't be able to tell under all the shit that I put up there? I want glow in the dark stars...
-My hamster is so cute
-NINE DAYS UNTIL DASHBOARD AND THE ANNIVERSARY
It's going to be neat to see Dashboard again...'cause it's seriously what like started my happiness after being so stupid and depressed for so long. Especially after what happened with Damian. Because even though I wasn't super close with him, I trusted him more than other people. And the whole thing just made my view on people change even though that view was shitty to begin with. What he did hurt me, probably not as much as it hurt other people but still, in a way I'm glad it happened? I don't know, going back to the concert...this time is going to be so much better. I need music and friends in my life, they make me happy.
-Dulce
"I can see the headlights coming"
current mood:  content
current music: Elliot- The World Has Turned (Weezer C
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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6:51 pm - The memories will fade
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Today my mom woke me up at 12 something with pancakes. She rocks.
But later on I was really rude to her and I feel bad but I think I get frustrated really easily and I get really pissed at her 'cause I'm not a patient person.
We went to Wal Mart and we got in an argument over shampoo lol. I use Thermasilk or whatever and she was like oh they don't have any, let's get this kind and I said no mom they have some and she said Dulce no they don't so I picked up a bottle and said what's this then? She said "that's conditioner" and I said "oh so what the fuck does that say then?" and I pointed out where it said shampoo and she was just like oh. In the past I wouldn't have cared that I made her feel bad but lately, the past 2 or 3 months we've been getting along all the time. I enjoy it but I think I'm just a bitch and there are times when I feel really bad about it but then it's like well that's just who I am but maybe I shouldn't be? I could change but I always insist on being the person that I am and I don't believe in changing myself but if it's for the better then shouldn't I? I don't know if changing myself would be good for me or just for other people. I don't want to change for other people, I want to change for myself but I don't want to. So I don't think I should. But I think I need to...but not really. I don't know but I enjoyed the last song Noise Ratchet played last night. :o\
-Dulce
"I miss my friends, they live next door"
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Saves the Day- Blindfolded
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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5:31 pm - My trip
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5:24 am
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I had a good trip but I'll write more after I sleep.
"Your mom's so stupid she brought a spoon to the superbowl."
Hah, God that was too great.
-Dulce
"I look pathetic tonight"
current mood:  tired
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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12:50 pm
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Community Service went well, they let us go at 11:45.
I didn't get dirty 'cause I did like, nothing lol. It was great but I'm hungry and I'm leaving to see NR at 3, word!
Hm...I have nothing else to say right now, heh.
-Dulce
"Time to burn it all away, time to think of what to say, time to go right back to yesterday"
current mood: content
current music: Hot Rod Circuit- Radio Song
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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6:04 am - If the world doesn't understand then the world has to learn
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The skyline filled with shipping yards and factories had me dreaming of waking up. Am I dreaming? Is this really me? Because I've never felt so not lonely and if this could be real right now then everyday for the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you. But let's hope tomorrow won't cave in...
-Dulce
"Love me just the way I need you to"
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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5:59 am
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Going to bed early was a good idea.
I only talked to Tony for about an hour then I honestly just couldn't stay awake, not 'cause he's boring but 'cause I was damn tired. So I was asleep by 9 and I woke up at 5:45. I was planning to wake up later but I'm just not tired anymore. I'm thinking I should take a shower after CS 'cause I'm almost 100% sure they'll let us go early again. Or maybe I can take one now and then if I get really disgusting I can take another shower when I get home...I don't know. But it always makes me happy when I feel rested. Which I'm sure is pathetic...
-Dulce
"And the things that are keeping you here are not keeping me here at all. Things that are keeping me here are keeping you away."
current mood: refreshed
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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8:02 pm
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I don't think I'm going to go to the show tonight because
1. I'm going on about 4 hours of sleep and I need to wake up tomorrow for CS
2. I'm poor and I should save my money 'cause it would be nice if my poor ass could help with gas money tomorrow and right now I only have 27 dollars. :o\
3. I look like shit. More shit like than I usually am.
4. I wanna go mimmi.
I don't think my mom quite understands that I'm going to Phoenix tomorrow.
My eyes hurt and I'm itchy, I think something bit me.
-Dulce
"I miss our nights under ocean skies."
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Bad Religion- Suffer
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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5:45 pm
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Well I'm done but I don't know why it took me so long. I did stop to watch The Simpsons...
( Oh well. )
current mood: sleepy
current music: Blink 182- Please Take Me Home
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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2:35 pm - Fridays are good.
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I turned the air on right when I got home. It feels so dandy.
-Toy Story questions in Spanish
-Notes in Earth Science II
-Test in Algebra II H, it just gets so easy to cheat after a while
-Pretty much nothing in English, we got on the topic of elevators and Mr. Hoeft just couldn't hold back his knowledge and experience, it was too great, he went on for a good 20 minutes lmao.
-Movie in History, I did good on the test we took on WWI :o)
There was an earthquake in English today. I thought someone was moving my chair or I was just dizzy but then everyone was all going insane. They swore like the books were falling from their shelves and shit lol.
Roger gave Racial and I a ride home today. And I offered him money for gas but he said it was ok. I wish all boys could be as nice as him. He might come to the show with Paul and I tonight. Good times.
I went to sleep at 3 in the morning and woke up at 6:50. Too fabulous, I am dead tired but I'm making myself a neat background for my desktop.
So I'm out.
-Dulce
"It's time I got back to the good life"
current mood:  happy
current music: Rancid- Ruby Soho
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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9:16 pm
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Kf7517: hey bitch
Alwaystenftall: hi you piece of shit
Kf7517: can u write my english paper
Alwaystenftall: fuck no
Kf7517: 20.00$
Kf7517: us currency
Alwaystenftall: or maybe not
Kf7517: mexican money?
LMAO. Joe cracks me the fuck up.
-Dulce
"I'll cut you right down to your sweetness"
current mood: amused
current music: The New Amsterdams- Never Treat Others
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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9:11 pm
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I'm amusing myself by going into the emo chats. It's funny because whatever scene you think you're part of, goth, punk, anything...people always want to get you to believe that they're "more punk/goth/whatever" than you are. I don't get it 'cause you would think that you'd try to be friends and support the people who have the same interests as you instead of trying to bring them down. Oh. I'm bored.
And I want to see the movie with the one guy who looks like a monkey and he gives up sex for lent. How clever.
-Dulce
"My heart was empty like the soul was missing from a song"
current mood:  bored
current music: Dashboard Confessional- For You to Notice
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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8:09 pm
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This is really disgusting for me because I can't stand soggy bread and here I see people dunking their hot dogs and hamburgers in water and then squeezing it out and then shoving it in their mouth. I wonder why I'm lame and I keep watching...
-Dulce
"Sometimes I'm old enough to keep routines sometimes I'm childish enough to scream"
current mood:  sick
current music: Sleater Kinney- All Hands on the Bad One
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(3 sweet nights | Come dive in puddles with me)
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7:52 pm - No Family Guy
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I guess it was on yesterday? I don't know.
There's some disgusting food eating contest, it's really foul. They had to eat whole sticks of butter and shit, I couldn't keep watching 'cause I seriously almost vomited.
...I'm bored and Tony, the bastard that he is, gave me his cold.
-Dulce
"I'm writing you this letter to let you know that nothing here has changed"
current mood: bored
current music: The Anniversary- Peace, Pain, and Regret
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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6:14 pm
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I just woke up and I went to sleep at 3.
3 good nap hours, tremendous. I have no school work to do so I'm just going to make myself dinner and watch TV or whatever else. Word, I think The Family Guy is on tonight! God I'm a huge loser.
Aww, I have stuff to make a salad... :o)
-Dulce
"Promise me that I'm good enough for someone 'cause I've got to be good enough for you."
current mood:  okay
current music: The Anniversary- The Siren Sings
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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2:39 pm - This is why I HATE living here
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I could honestly deal with there not being anything to do, but the weather is what I can't stand. It's not even March yet and it's over 80 degrees right now. Fuck me, I don't do well in the heat. So I turned on the air conditioner, hah. I'm such a fat baby.
School was ok today. Blah blah...nothing special happened, I'm glad tomorrow is Friday.
Every now and then
I turn it on again
But it's plain to see that
I get a ride home with Rachel's friend Jamie. She always has the radio on 95.1(country), 93.1, 96.1 (both of which play that neat bump and grind music I *love so much), or 98.3 which is the most decent of all radio stations here. And even then, it's not that great because every single day I hear the same songs by Creed and Nickleback. And when they play something like Jimmy Eat World, Weezer, or Coldplay (bands I enjoy), she changes it to Miss Trisha Yearwood. Fuck me, it's probably the most horrible experience of my day other than bearing the heat in Mr. Hoeft's class.
Ah it's nice and cold in here...word. LMAO...Bernardo Areas IMd me last night, haha. Ok fine, it made me laugh.
-Dulce
"Make them open the request line and let selection kill the old. Turn off the radio"
current mood: calm
current music: Dashboard Confessional- For Justin
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(2 sweet nights | Come dive in puddles with me)
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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10:50 pm
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I love it when everything is organized and I've done all I needed to. It's juicy. Now I must use the phone.
But wait, there's more.
Lay awake wondering
If things could have been much different
Second chance, what's become
Of a friendship if you can call this one
Stayed in touch, stood behind
While I gave you space
And you invade mine while
Everyone makes mistakes
You let me down for the last time
Truth prevails
And there's nothing you can hide
And I wash my hands of you
Getting on with my life
Getting on with my life...
Wanna call and catch up
But no matter what I know you still suck
And there's more but I don't even know if the lyrics are right 'cause I'm shitty like that and I don't enjoy songmeanings.net because their pages take 5 minutes to load.
-Dulce
"The moon hangs like the blade of an axe tonight"
current mood:  accomplished
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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9:43 pm - I'm creaming, you don't even know
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"Just so you know this next one is about people, those of us, who can't see how beautiful we are, it's called Cars and Calories"
Good God, acoustic shit rocks.
-Dulce
"And it took bites out of her insides 'till she was just a hollow shell
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Saves the Day- Cars and Calories (Acoustic)
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(1 sweet night | Come dive in puddles with me)
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9:37 pm
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Done with AIIH. Must shower. But after this...'cause there's nothing like acoustic STD. *Creams* thanks for putting that site up, Jill.
-Dulce
"I'll make my way across the frozen sea, beyond the black horizon. Where I can forget you and me and get a decent nights sleep"
current mood: happy
current music: Saves the Day- Freakish (Acoustic)
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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7:57 pm - So far...
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I've slept some, did my laundry, and got Roger's money order.
So I'm going to do whatever school related stuff I have to do, take a shower, use the phone and go to sleep.
But knowing how I am when I say stuff like that I'll probably end up going to sleep at 2 in the morning. I just suck like that.
-Dulce
"Get a little lost look and some staring from the corner of my eye, never really mastered disinterest."
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(Come dive in puddles with me)
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