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Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
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11:03 pm
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I am currently debating the future of this journal. An (ex)friend decided to snoop around and find the address to this journal, and proceeded to read it against my wishes. Not only have I lost a friendship, but I've also lost my privacy and I can no longer express myself fully and openly. I'm thinking of moving my journal or making it friends only. I'll let ya know my decision soon.....
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| Monday, March 4th, 2002
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7:29 pm
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1:41 am - sorry....too cute
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 | You're the 80's Man!
No, you're not a cross-dresser. You're just the odd-shaped 80's lego man! You love the classic legos, and you're not into all these new-fangled expensive kits. Why settle for the new when the old is just as good, and far less expensive! |
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1:06 am - Hrm....
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Went to see "40 days and 40 nights" tonight. Pretty decent flick, although quite thought-provoking. I think I need to start taking a journal with me to the movies (joking) but seriously I always seem to do a lot of great thinking, and then I always forget everything after I leave the theatre. The movie also made me kinda sad, but most romantic comedies do that to me... so I wasn't really too surprised.
So, I have a lot of thinking to do in the next couple days. Some really important decisions need to be made, asap. The summary of major thoughts is as follows.....
*It makes academic sense for me to stay in Guelph and go to school this summer
*Financially its almost impossible
*I don't really wanna live at my mom's anyway
*I don't really wanna work at the bank
*If I go to school this summer, I'd catch up and be able to graduate with my friends in my program
*If i stay here, I can get a house for a full year (less hassle), or sublet really cheap
*Today I got late acceptance to the semester abroad program
*Jas didn't
*Lauren is going
*It would put me behind another semester
*I was really looking forward to living with Jas and Arran next year
*They will be here when I get back
*Experience of a life time
*Financial suicide!
I think that's all my thoughts right now...no idea what I should do.
On a side note...the story missing from the other day's entry is that well, I kinda sorta mighta made out with Heath. Well, twice actually. It just kinda happened, and he's the sweetest guy, but I really need to stop messing with guys who don't want to actually date me. I mean, Heath and Ryan are both my friends and all, there's no weirdness,and they're both awesome guys.... but I really do think I need to stop being such a.... what's a nice way of saying slut?? I don't actually think I'm a slut (although Teresa did imply it the other day). I just like being close to someone...and it's not like I'm sleeping around. I didn't sleep with Heath, and my count is still at 3, which is pretty respectable I'd say.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Our lady peace
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| Sunday, February 24th, 2002
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2:51 pm
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What an absolutely beautiful day!! The weather is so sweet. We went for a walk to the store to get a pinata for the mexican's birthday, it's sooo stuffed with candy and toys. She's gonna be soo surprised. Also looks like a beautiful day for some american ass kicking!!! Go team Canada!!!!
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| Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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12:49 pm - Yay! Happy Fun Week of FUN!!
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So reading week started early for me last wednesday since I have no classes on thursdays and I certainly wasn't planning to drive back to Guelph for my fri classes. Julie, Jas, Arran and I had decided that we really didn't want to go to our parent's places for the break so I was only gonna be in the saug until sunday. After that we had planned out many activities to pass the break without actually doing any reading.
Malcs picked me up thurs afternoon and I had the absolute GREATEST date of my life. He really went all out for our valentines day, which is nice especially since he knows we'll never be more than just friends. Without making it a long story.. we went to the CN tower to watch the sunset, then to the fanciest restaurant ever (dinner was over $150) then to the ballet, then to a hotel containing roses,candles and wine. It was the sweetest. We basically just hung out and smoked a lot of weed, but it was cool. I also got..2 dozen roses, a single rose, chocolates, 2 teddy bears, a homemade cd, a souvenir autographed calender from the ballet, tequila rose, and some very nice underwear from LA Senza. I doubt anything can/will ever top that night.
I spent most of friday just hanging around my mom's place and wishing I was back in Guelph. For the first time I ever, it didn't feel like home, and I really just wanted to go home. I finally ended up going with Terri to see "crossroads". YEP! that's right...openung night Britney Spears. How sad is that?? oh well, Terri really wanted to see it, and I made Branko come with us. We also ended up going bowling after, and I won... so it turned out to be a okay night.
Saturday morning I woke up still really wnating to go home, so I did. I think Julie and Jas were pretty happy that I came back. We ended up going out that night to Molly Blooms with Heath. The four of us had an amazing time, Julie got really smashed and went up on stage to sing with the guitar guy. It was great and than Jas and I joined her for some background dancing. Heath was loving it, we all vowed to go back there really soon...hrmm..maybe even tonight. Julie ended up getting really sick though and we had to carry her home, help her puke, and put her to bed. We didn't really mind though since we love Julie and it's not like she does this often. *(there's another story to insert here, but i'm not in the mood , I'll do it later)*
Sunday, Jas made us a fancy roasted chicken dinner (mmm... stuffing), and the four of us had a nice sunday dinner in the dinning room, candlelight and all. Then we played some boardgames for some nice wholesome fun.
Monday, Arran came back and we made a nice gingerbread house, and I must say.. It looks damn good. After that, Jas, Heath and I had some "special" chocolate cake and watched "A clockwork orange." That is one trippy movie. I think I passed out and missed the end though.. so I think I'll watch it again some time.
Tuesday, we started off with a lil pizza hut buffet that we'd been craving. We were supposed to go skiing, but the weather was lousy so we ended up just hanging out in the fireplace lounge, playing pool with the boys. No one else was around since it's reading week, so it was cool to have the place to ourselves.
Wednesday, we had our cocktail party and made all sorts of fancy drinks, complete with lil umbrellas and cherries. We hung out and played some cheesy boardgames before hitting retro night at the trash. Downtown was pretty dead and we lost the boys, and got kinda bored so we ended up coming home pretty early, but it was still fun.
Thursday, we went for an early breakfast at this really cute 50's diner called "Angel's" and then finally got to go skiing. Chris, Adam and Heath are all really good and own their own skis, so they were are teachers. Chris was really great at teaching me and I didn't fall once all day. We (the girls)pretty much just skied by ourselves while the boys went off to the harder slopes, but we did watch them do some cool jumps and stuff. Julie fell off the ski lift and smashed down onto the barricade, it was probably the scariest thing i've ever seen, but luckily she wasn't hurt. I think skiing was one of the coolest things I've ever done, and I hope we do it again soon. I had a blast.
Friday, we pretty much just hung out. Julie went to work, and Arran was at Chris' parents. So, Jas and I just watched tv and had some wine (well, actually a BOTTLE of wine). When Julie got home, we were kinda tipsy. I think she thinks we're lushes...
All in all it was a pretty great week. we also watched tons of olympics, managed to catch every hockey game, and developed a new respect for curling..hehe. Only problem is that now I'm WAAAAY behind my schoolwork and will probably spend most of today at my desk. And now that I've written a novel, I better get to my chemistry......
current mood:  guilty
current music: Saves the day
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002
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3:07 am
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I talked to Brandon again tonight, sometimes I actually forget how adorable he is. Damn, I miss him. Even if it's just as a friend, I'd really like to talk to him more.
Anyway, as I prepare to spend another valentines day alone, I am slightly sad, but I take comfort in knowing that I have wonderful friends. In life, I don't think one can ever be alone when they are surrounded by friends. Happy Valentines to all!
current mood:  sick
current music: stp
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| Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
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12:15 am
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| Monday, February 11th, 2002
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2:17 am
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I managed to waste absolutely the entire day today. Which was fun, but probably not the best idea. I woke up hungover though and proceeded to puke, so the day was pretty much shot from the start. Tomorrow's looking much better.
Went to trapper's last night with Jas and the Tox crew. It was fun and I even hooched it up in my sweet new hooker boots ($50 on sale at Aldo....sooo awesome) and a short black skirt. I did however manage to avoid all the skeezy guys who were checking me out. I've decided that even though I'd like to find a boy, the bar is totally not the place to look. Oh, and Ryan sent me another drunkin message seeking company, and I didn't go...10 points for me.
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| Friday, February 8th, 2002
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1:46 am
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I aced my molecular biology midterm today, or atleast lets hope I did. I got my organic midterm back the other day and it was sooo not pretty. I really need to get my ass in gear a little more than I have been. I have been offically waitlisted for the London trip *tear*, apparently my marks aren't as good as other people's. Well, I bet they didn't hafta take analytical chemistry...everyone else who applied was in arts..grr. Jasmine didn't even make the waitlist, her marks were even worse than mine. So, I guess we're not going, but atleast Lauren gets to go, and I'm sure it's gonna be the experience of a lifetime. Poor Andy is gonna miss her soo much though, he's such a nice guy. Lauren got a dozen roses the other day for absolutely no reason. I'm glad to see my roomates with such great guys.... it gives me hope.
So... the other day when I wrote that nothing happened with Ryan, well I wasn't lying...BUT... I kinda sorta maybe forgot to turn my speakers off on my puter b4 I went to sleep. I woke up to the sound of Ryan sending me the following messages.....
"hey if you wanna come over u are welcome too"
"if you want to.. i'll be in bed...but cmon in"
"wanna cuddle"
Now, even though he just might be the absolute worst lay in the world, the boy is incredibly cute when he's drunk. and totally hard to resist when I'm drunk. So I went. It's really too bad that he's so horrible in bed, he's a really nice guy and super cuddly. I really had hoped he's get better with practice but that just dosen't seem to be happening. Any delusions I had of maybe liking him as more than a friend have long since past, and this casual sex thing is getting pretty old, but I would like to have experienced a little more...umm..thrill before I end it. But then again I'm not too sure when it'll end so I guess there still is a small remnent of hope. I just can't understand how any guy can still hold his head up straight after a girl stops literally in "mid-thrust" to tell him "I can't do this, it's too boring". You would really think he might be more than a little offended by that, but no. Anyway, enough about Ryan I guess, it's just waaay too funny to me.
In other news, it looks like our plans to travel over the break have been cancelled. I really hope I don't end up hanging around here all week. Jas and Arran said they definetly want to go on some fun day trips or something cool like that, so I guess we'll see. It looks like I'm going out sat night with a bunch of other tox majors that I hang with in class. It should prove to be a fun night, they're all really great. Although I probably should take a weekend off from the bar scene and get some work done.
oh, and we ended up applying to stay in our current apartement afterall, so atleast things for next year are a little more settled. It should be pretty cool to stay here, although sadly T is applying for a townhouse on her own. I wish she would've stayed but I can understand her reasons. I will miss her a lot though.....
current mood:  calm
current music: Red - Treble Charger
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
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2:03 am
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Went to Boo's tonight, always an adventure. It was pretty cool, a whole bunch of my roomates came at I got to see Britt (whom I haven't seen in waaaay too long.) Britt says Ryan is "surprisingly cute". Ryan was kinda being a dumbass tonight, but well, im getting used to it. Luckily the oppurtunity to repeat previous actiona did not present itself, which is good. umm.. I think I had lots more to say, but my head is spining now, so I think I'll sleep. Note to self: do not attempt to think logicaly in this state.
current mood:  drunk
current music: The ringing in my head.
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| Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
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5:01 pm
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I just dropped off my application for the semester abroad program. The guy at the desk said they only received like 20, so they probably won't be turning anyone down. So... it looks like very good chances I'll be living in London come september.
current mood:  excited
current music: Live- I alone
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| Monday, January 28th, 2002
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2:34 am - Too much for much
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2:29 am
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Well, I didn't get as much done today as I would have liked to...but my room is clean and I did finish my assignment, so I guess it's all good. I find it rather amusing that even with 12 of us living here, I end up cleaning the kitchen every week. U would kinda think that sooner or later other people would get sick of the mess and actually do something about it. Oh well...
We've been trying to fiqure out living arrangements for next year, its all getting waaaay too complicated. It's seems like noone wants the same things, and no matter what I decide I'm gonna end up sacrificing something. I'd really really like to make sure I'm still living with T next year, I can't imagine not having her around. But I get the feeling things may not work out that way. Jen will be back and Jas is gonna be with me pretty much no matter what,so that's awesome, but I can't help but feel that if I don't live with T, I may never see her..Which would really suck.
It's kinda weird to be thinking about such important things soooo far in advance though... I mean I dont even know what I'll feel like wearing tomorrow letalone where Id like to live next september. Hopefully everything will work itself out soon.....
current mood: contemplative
current music: buck-o-nine
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| Sunday, January 27th, 2002
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2:08 am
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I finally watched "The fast and the furious" tonight. It was okay, but not as great as I had expected. It made me think of Brandon, since we were supposed to have seen it together. I miss him a lot, but I'm glad I didn't call him at christmas.
My dad called tonight. Apparently my uncle's getting married on sat. in Niagara falls. Dad says I should come. Oh, but they can't afford for me to stay overnight and they can't come pick me up, cause well Guelph's just too far. It's nice that I get treated as equally as my sister's....
In more exciting news, I finally broke my tequila record. 12 shots...WHOO Whoo!!! and I actually remember most of the night. It wasn't all that much fun really...we went to Van gogh's, but I was trashed so I didn't really care. Hot-Adam was absolutely drooling over the Jas' bitch boots.. it was kinda cute. The birthday boy (Chris) was absolutley gone it was interesting.
Thursday night, Ryan went out to the Ranch and went home at like 1:30, totally drunk. Of course since he was lonely and horny, he invited me over. Silly me actually went. No regrets or anything, it's just kinda a weird situation. I couldn't really resist though, the boy's pretty cute when he's drunk, and I really think he woulda been happy just cuddling. Although on a positive note, the sex is improving since I told him he was lousy. It's pretty cool that he was able to laugh at himself and actually learn from it.
I picked up my Bad Religion tickets today...it's gonna be an amazing show. The Jas is even gonna come with me. Supposedly Ryan will be attending as well, but hopefully he'll leave his rude prick of a side-kick at home. I guess I should sleep now, big day tomorrow..I'm soooo behind in my school work. Oh, and the diet starts tomorrow
current mood: restless
current music: Silverchair - Suicidal Dream
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| Thursday, January 24th, 2002
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12:49 am
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I'm in a weird place right now, nothing's wrong and yet... hrmmm. I really thought I had something to say..apparently Not.
current mood:  melancholy
current music: NOFX
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| Sunday, January 20th, 2002
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10:45 pm
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So I finally got the perfect pair of earmuffs. They're really cute leopard print, and they only cost me $8. I've been wanting cool earmuffs for a longtime now, so I'm really excited. I wore them to the pub lastnight and hot-Adam said I looked sexy, Which is pretty sweet!
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Bad Religion - Atomic Garden
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| Thursday, January 17th, 2002
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12:05 am
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| Wednesday, January 16th, 2002
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1:32 am
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Sometimes I forget,
Then I remember.
And I am happy once again.
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| Tuesday, January 15th, 2002
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1:11 am - Top 10 Reasons I'd Make a GREAT Girlfriend.
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10. I can cook
9. I can clean
8. I can sew
7. I like sex
6. I'm low maintenance
5. I'm not shallow
4. I'm loyal
3. Did I mention.. I love sex?
2. I'm cute
1. I'm just me.....
Sorry if I sound pretty bitter, I'm really not. Just poking a little fun at my patheticness situation..lol. Oh well, who really wants a boy anyway?? oh wait....ya, that's right....ME!!
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awake