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Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
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12:55 pm - found it!
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i found two things! just now. damn, what a relief! i found that roll of film from thursday of sxsw, trapped, the black container blending in with the black bottom and strap of a bag that i thought i thoroughly checked, but no, there beneath the m&ms;, there it lay! so happy. so happy.
and i found my damn ID badge for work, finally! i've been getting in with coworkers the past few days. i didnt know where i stuck it before i went to chicago this weekend, but apparently i stuck it in the bag from the health food store that i havent unpacked yet! dude.
and the sun came out. the rain is done for now.
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| Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002
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5:46 pm - wilco - yankee hotel foxtrot
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i have to go pick mine up yet -- a friend told me Target has them on sale for $11.88 or something like that.
today when i got off work (on time! i didnt feel like staying late tonite, and it was a good thing), jeff tweedy was being interviewed on NPR about YHF, and it was pretty cool. like a ten minute or so segment, about the production, the delay, songwriting, shortwave radio and so forth. maybe NPR will have a sound bite on their website, eventually.
hearing the snippets of the songs on the radio made me realize how much i know this record, love the record, and am excited to hear it on my home stereo. all i've had so far is mp3s that i play either in the car via my iBook with a tape adaptor when i travel, or at work all day long on shuffle with everything else. it's not the same. but i wanted to hold out to hear it on the stereo when i actually bought the thing. :-)
of course, that means i have to go out and get it and i dont feel like doing that just yet. i need some chill time. might have to be tomorrow. we'll see.... i havent been so up on the 'buy it release day' tendancy lately. tempted to get the new elvis costello as well, given all the talk about it. never been a die-hard fan, but i think i would be if i bought some records.
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7:59 am - disjointed
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i tried catching up on sleep last night, and laid in bed at ten, exhausted, but i couldnt wind down all the way, so i listened to 'crossing over with john edward' on sci-fi. not really the before-bed type of show but damn it's fascinating. my mom is very in touch with spirits and told me a story about a bad spirit that came to her house, followed one of her brothers. one night, he'd woken up in the night, and felt a push of hot air in his face. he asked her the next morning if she had bad spirits in her house, and she said no, just some good ones. but after he left, it was keeping her up at night with horrible visions and sensations that he was around her all the time, the feeling that it was going to hurt her.
she found out a couple weeks later, while talking to her brother, that he'd recently invited an ex-con into his house, one who'd once been in prison for murdering the man who raped his sister.
once she acknowledged the bad spirit to a friend of hers, it left. her friend explained that evil remains unsettled and floats from place to place, carrying negative energy. it could have been the evil spirit of the dead rapist, who had stayed with his killer until going to her brother. it would have kept at her, until she voiced her awareness of it.
me, i'm not the one who experiences this stuff, and i'm somewhat a skeptic. i listen and am fascinated, and watching that john edwards show just reminds me that just because i'm not in tune with it, doesnt mean it doesnt exist. i know that tiger came to visit me that one night, when i felt her walking around me on the bed.
i dont know how to become more in tune....
and now i'm late for work....
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| Saturday, April 20th, 2002
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7:02 pm - almost....
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i almost pulled a PUI (posting under the influence) last night but i was too darn drunk to want to deal with typing once i actually signed on my friend's computer. 'i cant do this' was my exact quote. she just teased me because i type really fast normally and last night i was plucking the keys one by one painfully. it's funny that people are impressed with my typing speed and not needing to look at the keyboard. i only learned how to type from playing online ten years or more ago, trying to keep up with people on muds.
reminder to self, at twangfest NO SHOTS. it's L's fault, the jager put me over the edge. ;-) it made the drive to IKEA a nightmarish haze of post-drink nausea today. but i got a couple more cd racks to match the one i got last fall. finally i can get organized for real!
plus i got to visit the Apple Store. Oh.My.God. it was heaven. all the pretty toys, all the Mac stuff to try, all neatly organized with demo stations for hands on digital video editing, ripping mp3s, playing with iPhoto, etc. and i am so ready for an iPod now. soooo ready. i think i'm going to make the jump. they have a kit you can get from dr. bott, with the car charger and adaptor, case, and stereo cables. i'll be ready for my next roadtrip -- running the laptop with mp3s on cds was only 4 hours of battery time because i would skip songs and so forth, wake it up from drive spin down. so i had to switch to my portable cd player while on the road, which isnt so bad but you know, a pain in the butt sometimes, and i'm tired of carrying cds.
anyway, bare jr was fun last night, but i was more drunk than i would have preferred, and it was because i didnt eat much dinner, and forgot to drink enough water! eek. and tonite, i'm staying sober for jay bennett.
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| Thursday, April 18th, 2002
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11:44 pm - the way it is...
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11:20 pm and i should be in bed, but i didnt get the things done that i wanted to. it's always that way. what happened to the old me? the on time organized me? did i take on too many things? in the next few weeks, i've got to create wedding invites, a 40 page program, a tshirt front and back, a little fun promo item, table tents for a committee at work, all after the overtime because it's busy enough at my day job that i'm just plain swamped. then the last two weeks of may are going to suck beyond belief as i cover the press and my own job again, two whole damn weeks in a row, just like march, right before sxsw. then i go away myself for a few days, with no reprieve to catch my breath before i go.
and somehow i have to choose between the fun free day at the zoo that we're sponsoring thru work (my activity committee again), and scott miller in chicago in may. why at the same time?! and tim easton just HAS to play in mpls the week before twangfest?! god, it's never ends. next weekend a neighbor of my parents is having a bridal shower for my sister, who will be in the state next weekend. i wont have enough time next week to even look for something, it's too darn soon! and it means three weekends in a row out of town.
on the bright side, i learned more about how that car insurance thing works.... and now i'm thinking, maybe i'll just keep the money and go fix the windshield and find somewhere cheap to do the repair work and pocket the rest. my parents, of all people, those who raised me honest enough not to think of such ghastly things like taking the money and not fixing the car all the way to the extent of the check, are the ones who brought it up. 'arent you going to get a new car anyway?' they say, 'knock a few bucks off the asking price of this one and put the money toward a new car.' here's the kicker: 'people do it all the time' -- this is just so like me, not to think like that. not to think about things that feel icky, like scamming the system or something. am i just naive? i dont know. or just too preoccupied to think of anything beyond what the issue is -- the car is chipped all over, must fix car. you know?
i dunno. time for bed. i'm in the mood for music. i am listening to kasey chambers right now. i feel like staying up but if i do i'll be tired tomorrow. ;-) cant have that! driving energy.
oh wait, i remembered something else. earlier tonite, in the car driving home from work, i was thinking... okay well this could be one of those profound moments but it'll sound trite because i dont have time to explore it, but i was just thinking that i think i've changed. i know that everything changes, it just struck me that i'm not the person i was a few years ago. i thought about a friend who says he doesnt want to move again, it's too hard to start over. but you're always starting new things, whether you move or not. people move, change, get involved with other people, things, life changes. and i've changed. and sometimes i wonder about how i'm seen from the other side. i'm not very preoccupied with how others see me, i've never dressed a certain way or done anything except try to feel good about myself, and tend to find respecting myself comes first and the rest will follow. but i wonder at times if i'm considered a self-absorbed person, am i nurturing, am i considerate enough... but enough is one of those terms that's subjective, so who really knows. do unto others... you can only weigh yourself against your own expectations of respect and consideration. i think that i question myself when i get too busy and have to pick who i can give attention to in my life and feel bad that i have to neglect some people because i cant concentrate enough on everyone. then you add that up with concentrating enough on your own self and introspection and realize that's really the crux of it. the drive time will be good tomorrow, i'll be able to clear my head, listen to music, and not think about deadlines and tasks for a while. i hope! and maybe get a little flirting in over the weekend, too.
well, hopefully that's enough rambling to get it out of my head and get me peacefully to sleep. gotta clear the head, you know.
current music: grievous angel, tribute to gram parsons
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6:48 pm - good news....
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6:39 pm - storm weather....
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well, you have to figure if they predict a temperature of 90 followed by 50 the next day, some storms are brewing in between....
so i get out of work a few minutes ago (another 2 hrs ot tonite), and it's black and the torado warning for the county to the west beeps on the radio and the computerized warning ala stephen hawking voice describes the warning. get home to watch the weather coverage, see there's another tornado in the county near my parents house, so i call my mom, who's unaware, and heads downstairs to turn on the tube to see where it's at -- thing's not but twenty miles away....
so, time to sign off. the thunderstorm is just about here....
current music: meteorologists on tv
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| Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
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10:08 pm - guilty pleasures
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is it so wrong to admit i like such a sweet show as '7th heaven'? it's not as schmaltzy as i thought when i didnt watch it, but a year ago i got into it, last summer during reruns i think. and they run the old eps at 9 every night, too, so sometimes i am working on stuff with it in the background. tonite was a really old one, episode 15 according to the tv guide online, from april 1997. i had never seen it, and they all looked so young and it just made me grin. anyway. right toward the end, at quarter til, i get a call from JC, who says after about a minute, can i call you right back? something about something being too loud, i dont know.. but now it's been over 20 minutes and he hasnt called back. *rolls eyes*
there's the phone...
ran out of battery.
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5:50 pm - The Car
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before today, i'd never filed an insurance claim on my car, and i have to say, i'm impressed with how streamlined it is. 20 minutes. inspection, pictures, estimate, and a check. whew! that estimate is detailed!
they said to me 'we're glad you left some of the rocks to show us' and i laughed. like i had much choice, they are trapped beneath the rubber seal above the doors, and in the grate below the wipers!
so, the body repair on the rock damage is $2200. add that in with the $3000 engine repair last month, and my car has had more work done than it would be worth if i sold it, and i didnt have to pay for most of it! car in the shop next week. toyota referred me to ford for body work, since they dont do it themselves.
PS. did a job today called 'spoon tag' and couldnt stop laughing because i kept imagining no 's' at the beginning and an 'n' near the end.
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| Sunday, April 14th, 2002
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7:25 pm - springtime....
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i am back from out of town visiting my parents, offering slave labor and tech support in exchange for good conversation, fresh air, and almost peace and quiet. it's not as quiet out in the country as it was when i was a growing up -- not since the neighbor across the road moved in. he's a racecar driver. he revs his engine a lot. all the time. today, his buddy was laying along the driver & rear door, with his head in the window and feet hooked up by the back end, as they went down the gravel road trying to figure something out. eventually they pushed it back down the drive and loaded it in a huge trailer.
anyway, my weekend started off by programming the parents remote control for dish, tv, vcr and dvd, but the damn vcr wont tape anything (it turns off after twenty seconds and believe me i tried multiple tapes and multiple times), then i set up stereo sound to the tv from the new dish, downloaded pix from the digital camera, and ended up today unloading & restacking 3 palates of bricks with dad, for the new patio. also went to a wedding briefly last night, and then ate some good spicy mexican food at a new restaurant run by very frlendly mexicans, the food was actually spicy hot and tasty.
last, i detailed my car. well, it's almost spic & span but you know, i discovered that the damage from that 'near accident' a couple months ago where the freak mini-van peeled out on wet gravel in front of me, covering my car with rocks and mud and scaring the bejeebers out of me, scarred the paint on hood and bumper and it's totally horrible looking now that the mud, rocks, salt and dust are washed off. shit. gotta call the insurance guy. i had forgotten all about it with the whole engine fiasco and not having the car for several weeks right after that.
on the bright side, spring is lovely and i got a bit of a sunburn today.
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| Friday, April 12th, 2002
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10:50 pm - gallery night
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wandered 5th street tonite with friends -- galleries, cheese, wine, veggies. CD & JT had paintings up, i liked JT's better, but then i felt that when i visited their studio as well. went to an antique shop reminded me of JC. lots of old books. there was a cool postcard of the bldg i work in, that EW bought. it was before the addition right above my office, so different.
at work right now they are repainting the inside of the clocktower and have blocked off the path below it, from my room to the elevator, so we have to walk down and around. today was day one. it sucked. lots of confused people because they had to make a bunch of turns to get to the door by my office that leads down to the photo studio. so i made arrow signs, laminated and everything, and placed them at the corners. one for the photo studio, the other back toward the elevators. it was a nice distraction to an otherwise busy, hellish beyond belief day of a week from hell at work (april is the busy time, lots of overtime). the VIP of the day caused havok to several of us trying to get high quality art from a crappy image, to print at 5' wide, at an outside vendor, for 4 signs that she ended up doubling to 2 of each, 8 signs, and by then it was at 2 pm. and the guy i had slaving away at it was going to hand deliver them to her house on the south side in order to have them for the meeting that is at her house on monday first thing in the morning. we're talking VIP, the same one who always gets everything at the drop of a hat, and do we get recognized for it? no, it's just that expectation... sigh. but i'm going to send some goodies to the guy who had to work late to get it done for us, because that was just plain great customer service and he's an awesome guy. hopefully he got them done before he had to go pick up his wife at the airport, since that's on the south side, and it would be in the same general direction.
rambling. time to go to bed. gotta drive tomorrow morning, couple hours. might go to a wedding. what should i wear? i am bored with my clothes, but i havent the desire to shop. i dont think i've bought a new shirt in like a year. okay, that's likely not true, but i honestly cant remember the last time i bought clothes. i'm not a shopper. i will have to buy a bridesmaid dres soon.
must remember to order tickets tomorrow for shows next weekend. must not take risk that have to play guessing games with guy at door to try to win entrance to packed show.
must remember that i have another ad to create, plus a fan to design, and then start working on the program. wow, i knew it would be a lot, but i forgot it would all happen during my busy time at work, too. eek. must make sure i waste as little time as possible vegetating. must also stick to the regular walks with my friends. walking = good. wish i could run, damn knee. oh well, walking = good.
goodnight
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6:13 pm - an impulse
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hey, i thought, why not take a half day off and go hang with friends and listen to some music? oh, but could it be so easy? indeed! it is. and so, i am off to chicago in but a week, for a weekend excursion into tunes, flirts, and friends.
and the sun came out againg! in time for gallery night! to which i leave shortly.
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| Thursday, April 11th, 2002
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10:35 pm - too many clocks!
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i forgot to set the time back in the bedroom tv -- i taped the wrong show. i missed dawsons creek this week. darn it. well, i didnt feel much like watching tv anyway, so maybe it's a sign ;-)
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| Wednesday, April 10th, 2002
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7:42 am
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last night, i didnt sleep all too much, or well. right before i started to doze off, i had this impulse to open up the chest at the foot of my bed and type up an excerpt from a childhood journal. i didnt do it, convincing myself i could do it another day, but i wlll at some point. first things first, tonite i must get the two projects done that have deadlines coming up, so that i can get approvals. freelancing on top of a full-time job, volunteering, no less, can be a challenge.
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| Monday, April 8th, 2002
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10:22 pm - willpower
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i have been eating too much. not snacking, i dont have snacks in the house. just eating more things. like, i had dinner, but then at 9 (breaking the after 8 rule), i made myself a quesadilla of sorts, not the greasy kind, just a tortilla with melted cheese (toast the tortilla on the gas burner, then melt the cheese in the microwave) and salsa. it was so good. i didnt need more food. i had a balanced dinner. i had healthy meals all day, just added to them. like lunch, a tortilla with cucumber dill humus for dessert. like i needed it.
i have been eating chocolate, too. i dont need any more food, but i'm craving something. am i just thirsty? bored? tired? i dont know. are there any appetite suppressants out there that arent speed oriented? i cant have anything that messes with my heart, but i need some advice to reduce my appetite. it's been like this for two weeks. it's not hormonal. is it just spring fever? i have no willpower.
current mood:  moody
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| Sunday, April 7th, 2002
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7:02 pm - catching up
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i really tried. i tried to ration it out, but i cant keep up. i caught up on some email today, i sent out 19 emails to people that had piled up -- not to say there's not 30 still in my inbox to reply to someday. of those, there are 7 who wrote back already and it's like, shit, what am i supposed to do? it's 7 pm, doesnt feel like it, but it is, and i wont end up replying to most of those until next weekend. my wrist has been bugging me to no end. repetitive stress injury. i wore a brace for a few days but took it off for the weekend. i've a feeling i'm going to need it again tomorrow.
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| Saturday, April 6th, 2002
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1:30 pm - last night
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emmylou harris was wonderful last night at the val air ballroom. a great crowd, clear sound, i could have listened to her all night. apparently it had been 17 years since she blessed this town with a show, and i've never seen her play elsewhere (to my shame). this week is her birthday week (4/2) and she's now 'the speed limit - 55'
it was a wide mix of her songs, and covers from townes van zandt and waylon jennings, among others. she played 'love hurts', some 'red dirt girl' numbers, and buddy sang the dave matthews part of 'my antonia', which was pretty different. buddy & julie miller were great backing her up, and did a number of their own, and then she sang harmony with them. i love emmylou on harmony, too.
the opening act was pieta brown, greg brown's daughter. rick (?) and bo ramsey played with her. classic bo. i dont think i'd recognize him on the street if he didnt have his hat on. he has such a recognizable stance that you could identify him on stage from just a silhouette, as well as the first note he plays on his guitar.
a very nice night.
got home and a rerun of 'austin city limits' came on that featured wilco during 'summerteeth'-era, so i taped it. ironically, bella fleck & the flecktones were the second half of the show, and earlier in the night, we'd just been handed out little fliers for their upcoming show later this month at the val air.
not sure what bands are next in my future. maybe scott miller in chicago if i see confirmation of that. del mccoury band is coming to town in the next month or so, but another pricey $$$ show, it adds up. of course, no more expensive than covering gas money to catch an $8 show in another city. not sure what trips are in my future. have to save vacation time for my sister's wedding week and the family vacation in december in arizona when dad retires. i might go to the grand canyon, tho i know it's winter and colder in the canyon than in summer. i might go anyway. before she moves back from arizona with her husband (planning that for a year from may). wow. i hadnt actually used the word husband in association with my sister before.
and the middle child remains single. i think they all thought i'd end up married first, given the long relationship i had back around college. funny how that is!
current music: kasey chambers - the captain
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| Thursday, April 4th, 2002
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10:13 pm - sucky week
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this week has sucked. i know i should go to bed early and that would help a lot, and i'll try but it's tough! i feel nauseous, my irregular heartbeat is aggravating me by being obvious to me like lumps in my throat and woosiness when i stand. my wrist locked up today. maybe it's all brought on by stress. i'm annoyed at a friend but havent told her yet, but i got good advice on how to handle the situation. clem snide cancelled last night but at least they didnt get hurt in the van wreck. one of my cats is learning how to pester me til i play with her, she reaches up and gently digs her claw into my leg til i look, then she goes to her toy wand thing and meows. repeat as necessary. bedtime. they have each other to play. zoe, you just gotta convince cleo to get off her lazy butt. i'm tired.
i cant find that roll of film that had 36 pictures on it. i know i shot it at sxsw but all these rolls are 24 exposures. one in the suitcase had 36 but it is unused. i am pretty certain it rewound all the way. i change the film and would feel the film sticking out if it did, and it's never once happened in 5 years of this camera, so maybe the roll will show up. or maybe i didnt shoot at 36 roll. i dont know. guess i'll find out when i see the gap in my chronology from sxsw photos at some point. wish me luck finding it.
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| Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002
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1:26 pm - close call...
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this morning i had on the radio in the car as i pulled around the corner. this guy is on his mobile phone doing a dare to win free phantom of the opera tickets. the DJ says he as to pull up to someone at a light and get them to roll down their window and give him their phone number. he asks 'okay, where are you now?' and he says 'just off the interstate, approaching 42nd and Ingersoll'
that was where i was at that very moment, approaching that light from the another direction. eeek. FREAKY.
of course, the light was green and i had to go thru, then he got a green before someone was beside him, so he had to turn on ingersoll, and instead they sent him to a gas station to do the dare, and i never did hear if he went thru with it. they broke to a song and i arrived at work.
current music: uncle tupelo (of course)
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| Monday, April 1st, 2002
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9:56 pm - memory triggers
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i emailed myself at home, from work, with the following reminders:
yellow banana, can you hear me now?
save a buck, debit card charges, you can get a lot for a buck
sometime, i will remember to tell the actual stories ;-)
DAMN i love uncle tupelo.
current mood:  content
current music: uncle tupelo anthology
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