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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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12:44 pm - Thoughts on Zen
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Zazen is a particular kind of meditation, unique to Zen, that functions
centrally as the very heart of the practice. In fact, Zen Buddhists are
generally known as the "meditation Buddhists." Basically, zazen is the study
of the self.
The great Master Dogen said, "To study the Buddha Way is to study the self,
to study the self is to forget the self, and to forget the self is to be
enlightened by the ten thousand things." To be enlightened by the ten
thousand things is to recognize the unity of the self and the ten thousand
things. Upon his own enlightenment, Buddha was in seated meditation; Zen
practice returns to the same seated meditation again and again. For two
thousand five hundred years that meditation has continued, from generation
to generation; it's the most important thing that has been passed on. It
spread from India to China, to Japan, to other parts of Asia, and then
finally to the West. It's a very simple practice. It's very easy to describe
and very easy to follow. But like all other practices, it takes doing in
order for it to happen.
We tend to see body, breath, and mind separately, but in zazen they come
together as one reality. The first thing to pay attention to is the position
of the body in zazen. The body has a way of communicating outwardly to the
world and inwardly to oneself. How you position your body has a lot to do
with what happens with your mind and your breath. Throughout the years of
the evolution of Buddhism, the most effective positioning of the body for
the practice of zazen has been the pyramid structure of the seated Buddha.
Sitting on the floor is recommended because it is very stable. We use a zafu
- a small pillow - to raise the behind just a little, so that the knees can
touch the ground. With your bottom on the pillow and two knees touching the
ground, you form a tripod base that gives three hundred and sixty-degree
stability.
We begin working on ourselves by counting the breath, counting each
inhalation and each exhalation, beginning with one and counting up to ten.
When you get to ten, come back to one and start all over. The only agreement
that you make with yourself in this process is that if your mind begins to
wander - if you become aware that what you're doing is chasing thoughts -
you will look at the thought, acknowledge it, and then deliberately and
consciously let it go and begin the count again at one.
The counting is a feedback to help you know when your mind has drifted off.
Each time you return to the breath you are empowering yourself with the
ability to put your mind where you want it, when you want it there, for as
long as you want it there. That simple fact is extremely important. We call
this power of concentration joriki. Joriki manifests itself in many ways.
It's the center of the martial and visual arts in Zen. In fact, it's the
source of all the activity of our lives.
When you've been practicing this process for a while, your awareness will
sharpen. You'll begin to notice things that were always there but escaped
your attention. Because of the preoccupation with the internal dialog, you
were too full to be able to see what was happening around you. The process
of zazen begins to open that up.
When you're able to stay with the counting and repeatedly get to ten without
any effort and without thoughts interfering, it's time to begin counting
every cycle of the breath. Inhalation and exhalation will count as one, the
next inhalation and exhalation as two. This provides less feedback, but with
time you will need less feedback.
Eventually, you'll want to just follow the breath and abandon the counting
altogether. Just be with the breath. Just be the breath. Let the breath
breathe itself. That's the beginning of the falling away of body and mind.
It takes some time and you shouldn't rush it; you shouldn't move too fast
from counting every breath to counting every other breath and on to
following the breath. If you move ahead prematurely, you'll end up not
developing strong joriki. And it's that power of concentration that
ultimately leads to what we call samadhi, or single-pointedness of mind.
In the process of working with the breath, the thoughts that come up, for
the most part, will be just noise, just random thoughts. Sometimes, however,
when you're in a crisis or involved in something important in your life,
you'll find that the thought, when you let it go, will recur. You let it go
again but it comes back, you let it go and it still comes back. Sometimes
that needs to happen. Don't treat that as a failure; treat it as another way
of practicing. This is the time to let the thought happen, engage it, let it
run its full course. But watch it, be aware of it. Allow it to do what it's
got to do, let it exhaust itself. Then release it, let it go. Come back
again to the breath. Start at one and continue the process. Don't use zazen
to suppress thoughts or issues that need to come up.
Scattered mental activity and energy keeps us separated from each other,
from our environment, and from ourselves. In the process of sitting, the
surface activity of our minds begins to slow down. The mind is like the
surface of a pond - when the wind is blowing, the surface is disturbed and
there are ripples. Nothing can be seen clearly because of the ripples; the
reflected image of the sun or the moon is broken up into many fragments.
Out of that stillness, our whole life arises. If we don't get in touch with
it at some time in our life, we will never get the opportunity to come to a
point of rest. In deep zazen, deep samadhi, a person breathes at a rate of
only two or three breaths a minute. Normally, at rest, a person will breathe
about fifteen breaths a minute - even when we're relaxing, we don't quite
relax. The more completely your mind is at rest, the more deeply your body
is at rest. Respiration, heart rate, circulation, and metabolism slow down
in deep zazen. The whole body comes to a point of stillness that it doesn't
reach even in deep sleep. This is a very important and very natural aspect
of being human. It is not something particularly unusual. All creatures of
the earth have learned this and practice this. It's a very important part of
being alive and staying alive: the ability to be completely awake.
Once the counting of the breath has been really learned, and concentration,
true one-pointedness of mind, has developed, we usually go on to other
practices such as koan study or shikantaza ("just sitting"). This
progression should not be thought of in terms of "gain" or "promotion"; that
would imply that counting the breath was just a preparation for the "real"
thing. Each step is the real thing. Whatever our practice is, the important
thing is to put ourselves into it completely. When counting the breath, we
just count the breath.
It is also important to be patient and persistent, to not be constantly
thinking of a goal, of how the sitting practice may help us. We just put
ourselves into it and let go of our thoughts, opinions, positions -
everything our minds hold onto. The human mind is basically free, not
clinging. In zazen we learn to uncover that mind, to see who we really are. (Thanks G~Mon.)
current mood:  calm
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4:16 am - Time is to expensive.
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My friend Becka wrote this and I responded to it with my thoughts. This might give you some insight as to what I think about me not giving you enuf time.
Random Tangent #1
You know what I hate? People who are all like "I can't do such-and-such because I don't have enough TIME" What kind of crap is that. First of all yes you do have enough time....you have the time you need and you aren't gonna get anymore or any less for that matter. It's like they just use it as an excuse so they don't have to get off their asses and do things. If something is important then find the time (it could be under the couch) and make it happen. Instead of playing video games, partying with anonynomys people, watching TV, etc. go out and do the things "there isn't enough time" for. Seriously world wake up and smell the artichokes time is all we have in this world. Some people spend it by making themselves a little more open and getting into the fire and doing the things they've always wanted to do with their lives. Good for those people. Then there are the lazy dipshits who sit around and talk about all the things they want to do but never do anything about. I can't bitch about this because up until a fight with my bro I was one of these people and it was lame. Time is not an excuse, it's a gift to do with all the things you have always wanted to do. Nothing is impossible it just takes work. Some people get more time in this life then others but everyone gets the exact amount of time they are suppossed to....stop wasting your time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts, on time by who else B
Brian
2002-02-17 20:33
Time is an illusion.
*(Time? What is time? Time is an illusion. Reality as we perceive it is an overload of information. The pure volume of information is to much for people to comprehend thats why we have a conscious and a subconscious mind. Humans use less than one tenth the minds capacity and most of that is used while we sleep. The concept of time is our way of attempting to comprehend all the information we receive. Sleep depredation can blur the line between consciousness and subconsciousness allowing us to see through the illusion of time. "Time, space, and reality are all relative")*
We do believe in this illusion though.
Some of us have small points in between obligations.
You are still right we can always make time.
*( )* = from B's lj
Re: Thoughts, on time by who else B
Becka
2002-02-18 09:16
What did you say I was right?
Cool.
I miss you B
My Re:
Thanx I miss you too
Loves
~B~
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| Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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5:52 pm - it all comes to gether?
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That's right, you're Mystique: the only villain possible on this quiz. But you're not evil, really. Just... misunderstood. You can't help it if you'd rather save your own skin than risk your neck saving people who are far inferior to you. You have a taste for the finer things in life, certainly. But why shouldn't you? You certainly deserve them, after all.
202020
I'm Mystique
What X-Men Character are You?
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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9:05 pm - Well how are the girls?
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So B dude I'm totally sorry about that stuff I said. I hope you are not to mad at me when you get back. How was Portland? How are the girls I hope you were not to rough. Dude call me when you get this you should have my new cell on your voice mail. Its cool its that really, really, well B, its like you its "lil'". Had to dude, ;and whats Paris's new #?
Loves J.K.
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
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6:35 pm - Killa B
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As I sit back to write this. I sit back in my chair.
As I wish not to care. As my thoughts are still there.
Which is where? As I stop and I stare.
At these emotions I bare. I'm here but I'm there.
The voices won't leave me alone. I sit at home alone.
The king in his throne. Surrounded by the voices I've grown.
Each individual clone. With masks of crome.
Mirrored visions what is their meaning? What am I seeing?
My eyes are bleeding. This red blood I'm seething.
:::
Let me think. Let me look. Let me see.
Your picking a fight with me?
Arn't you like six foot three?
I mean I'm known as lil' B.
Yeah, you look really cool picking on me.
I'm just a lower cased g
at five foot three.
but between you an me.
Theres a reason they call me Killa~B
:::
From my mental crossbow,
I let bolts fly an flow. I let loose I let go.
Straight from the start. Into an through from the heart.
With my pre~post apocalyptic Brazilian state of mind.
You need to keep in mind. Whats yours is mine,
an yes you can keep it though.
I don't need to know what you know.
So will I slow down? So you can know.
What I know. The answer is no.
Even Though. Your mind is micro.
Mine is macro. I'll take you into the outro.
An introduce you to a new reality.
Your anger an your insanity inspire me.
You fuel the fire with in me. There is no fear in me.
There is no fear you see. My fear is my friend.
Can you comprehend. The message I give an send?
I am the beginning. Let this be the end.
Either let it fester or let it mend.
I'm being metaphysical,
an you want to go get physical. Be a man lets get lyrical.
:::
Let me think. Let me look. Let me see.
Your picking a fight with me?
Arn't you like six foot three?
I mean I'm known as lil' B.
Yeah, you look really cool picking on me.
I'm just a lower cased g
at five foot three.
but between you an me.
Theres a reason they call me Killa~B
:::
But back to the mental fight. As my words take flight.
As you spin at night. I sit an I sin at night.
Thats right you get it. You got it bit by bit.
The pieces start to fit. But enuf of that shit.
one two three. three two one.
You ask what have I done? I have only just begun,
an you want to go one on one with the great one?
Whats your strategy? Why are you so mad at me?
Can you even see? What this shit means to me?
This is all necro~matic. Ill~will auto~matic.
Ill~static ill~matic, still~matic, still~ill~matic.
Life is not static. To his anger he's an addict.
Ism is him.
I'm growing over an up. I'm flowing over the cup.
One chapter in this tome of life. A lil' slice of life.
A lil' slice still~ill nice. Science has a price.
The war inside is mine. This is my mind.
You'll follow me in time.
When will you let life flow?
This is what when an how I know.
:::
Let me think. Let me look. Let me see.
Your picking a fight with me?
Arn't you like six foot three?
I mean I'm known as lil' B.
Yeah, you look really cool picking on me.
I'm just a lower cased g
at five foot three.
but between you an me.
Theres a reason they call me Killa~B
:::
Words form my throne. The metaphor is my home.
In through the micro. Out through the macro.
Sliding past the necro~philous~populous.
As it is that it is.
At war the art of war official. Otherwise its artificial.
I will or you will.
You'll look up to see the storm cloud forming.
Laced in silver in mourning. Still storming good morning.
I know this is new to you. I already told you.
Your mind was borned deformed.
These words are being born. From the one in true form.
Wrapped in battle dress uniform this is my norm.
I am both the eye an the storm.
Modus Operandi: Killa~B.
current mood:  awake
current music: Modus Operandi: killa b
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| Monday, February 11th, 2002
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10:03 am - the adam of Eden was a bomb
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The futures a mystery
the past is history
today is a gift
that why they call it
the present
The most dangerous form of escapism is: SOCIAL NARCOTIC
The act of hiding from your-self through interaction.
Too True,
Too True, you do learn more about your-self from the interactions you have with others. Thats why its so dangerous.
:::People will believe anything.
:::Because they want something to be true.
:::There afraid something is true.
Reflection eternal this is one thing I live by.
I will admit that some times I do not do this, a mistake that hurts people I love. Be your-self live life your way for you just be aware of the effects, of your actions. Live for your-self...
Do not intentionally hurt others,
or loose sight of one's self.
Onto another topic on my mind:
Co-de-pend-ency:
Bringing it back to the topic of
:Social Narcotics
The slight difference is attachment to one or two people instead of group interaction'ary escapism.
The key I see is in being:
One of interaction without action. yet keeping consistent traction.
no more good times no more bad.
living at the speed of life.
one has all the time in the world to enjoy with gentle pressure relentlessly applied. In so being free with out the downfall of an easy out.
..Words are weapons sharpened on both sides only the masters can avoid lies.
Guilt from being untruthful to yourself is so easily imposed on someone else. If you allow yourself to focus on others before yourself. you will constantly and consistently hold yourself back from enjoying life on life's stage.
..Be an actor without acting.
If you want to do something live with in it.
Do what you love an it will become you.
..fear can be a friend when it is not fear.
face to face I face my fear,
run and it shall find,
..rules of life broken can as bones be reset.
In terms of we, connection is just that.
:artless art ...is the artistic
process with in ones soul,
hold on to the disease in your mind become one with it
this is how to let go of it.
:Slide,
never run away
let go
do not seek
for you shall find.
:Thee already accomplished
While life is characterized by growth in a structured, functional
manner, the necrophilous person loves all that does not grow, all
that is mechanical. The necrophilous person is driven by the desire
to transform the organic into the inorganic, to approach life
mechanically,as if all living persons were things...memory, rather
than experience; having, rather than being, is what counts. The
necrophilous person can relate to an object--a flower or a person--
only if he possesses it; hence a threat to his possession is a
threat to himself; if he loses possession he loses contact with
the world...he loves control, and in the act of controlling kills life.
better give credit where credit is due...
Erich Fromm said those things in The Heart of Man.
get ready get Set
because we're the three wizards in this land of Oz
the three cracker factor and the city at Odds
awake with in this emerald city of Ours
For the somnambulistic Populous
living in this Metropolis
this living breathing Necropolis
living in the city that only Sleeps
we pimp our pander with poetic Strife
to escape the sleepwalking half-life
we are the survival of the Fittest
Elemental Experimentalists
once more at the top of the Lists
like the sun burning through the Mists
like SUN TZU with swords in his Fists
It's man v.s. necrophilous
did we mention with purpose an intention
the insomniac is Back
the way to enlightenment bridging the Gap
what do you do when realationships...
change shape and form.
this can be pain--full,
pain ...from loss
pain ...from growth
wisdom can be lost or gained from starting a-new
things fall apart and tend to shatter its just that that shit does not matter understand change - grow upgrade your gray matter cause this is all that matters.
knowledge is power.
imagination is more powerful than knowledge.
let go let go.
hold true.
spice is the variety of life.
no one is perfect.
i am god.
god is everything.
you are god.
have faith in god.
love can be limited,
only if you lack understanding.
certainly there is nothing you can do,
that is unnatural other wise,
it would be physically impossible.
attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.
gentle pressure relentlessly applied.
two plus two equals four,
yet one plus one equals three.
growth is change, change is good.
people are so optimistic it makes them blind to the obvious.
its the folly of man to mistake intelligence with insanity.
as a dog returns to its own vomit,
so does a fool to his foolishness.
a wise man learns more from a fool,
than a fool does from a wise man.
people will believe anything.
...because their afraid it might be true
...because they want something to be true
How long does life take to form in ones passing?
Life moves at its own speed.
..In the last few weeks I have assumed some sort of secret/undercover identity? This is my interpetation, from messages that have been left here and there from my friends. I keep hearing of this guy who "I was". Like, well like I've metaphysically metamorphed into some new person.
I've come to discover that people need only desire and they shall receive. Love is a form of truth, a truth people are unwilling to explore. In my lifetime I have seen so many wonders I could only guess what lies beyond this perception of reality. As time limits my ability to see beyond I say goodbye. Goodbye to those who will not and can not be real to themselves or others. I am not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snow flake we are all equal. What means the world to you? What means the world to me? 21 "It lies in the nature of grand virtue to follow the tao and the tao alone. Know the masculine, keep to the feminine. From the void we come, into the nothing I go I am both the circle and the spiral in one. The return to infancy. I am both thee eye and the storm. People as a race are soft pink bags of rice paper flesh, the ability to chanel and control energy into thought is what separates us from all other life we comprehend.
people are bovine, some of us
realize the danger and unending boredom
this could lead to. if you "must" work
do something you love.
Do not fall victim to patternizing
your life. you've got to
get up
get out
and get something.
you cant spend all of your
time just trying to get buy.
All one
http://www.livejournal.com/users/illithid/
http://www.deadjournal.com/users/illithid/
One by one the penguins take my sanity away...
current mood: awake
current music: Modus Operandi:
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9:39 am - the totem
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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12:51 pm - The I.M.S. game
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LONDAN says:
I see you as a wild storm is what I see you as
LONDAN says:
something thrilling and beautiful and dangerous and fun yet soft and caressing and STILL SO HARD TO HOLD ON TO UNLESS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THEY WAY to grasp it
LONDAN says:
I only understand you because of the time put into it and that you allowed me to a log time ago . you I understand cause I understand things about you that I hide about myself
LONDAN says:
from most people
LONDAN says:
please don't ask me to explain that t this point
LONDAN says:
cause I can not
Illithid says:
you will never need to
LONDAN says:
I feel it I know it but I could not find the words to write it
LONDAN says:
that is why I said you were a heart breaker
current mood:  indescribable
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12:14 pm
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the man who speaks with primordial images speaks with a thousand
tongues; he entrances and overpowers, while at the same time he raises
the idea he is trying to express above the occasional and the transitory
into a sphere of the ever existing......
That is the secret of effective art. The creative process, in so far
as we are able to follow it at all, consists in the unconscious
animation of the archetype, and in the development and shaping of the
image until the work is completed. The shaping of a primordial image is,
as it were, a translation into the language of the present which makes
it possible for every man to find again the deepest springs of life
which would otherwise be closed to him.
current mood:  artistic
current music: Skinny Puppy: the singles collect
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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4:48 pm
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4:46 pm
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4:41 pm
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Worker bees can leave,
Even drones can fly away,
The queen is their slave,
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4:07 pm
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4:07 pm
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Energy flows through all of us it flows
over and through every thing.
It is formless. Though the appearance
of formed mass is there it is
unconfined life will not be contained.
Forma-tadre means the hand of god.
What are we to believe god is what mass
does this entity take? Does energy need
mass? We are all one interlinked and
missing the link. The link. What is the
link? Are we only doing what we should
do or are we doing what we wish to?
E =energy.
M =mass
C =speed of light
Energy in ergs equals the
Mass in grams times the
velocity of light in centimeters per
second.
e = mc2
Every things is interlinked.
(Time?
What is time?
Time is an illusion.
Reality as we perceive it is an
overload of information.
The pure volume of information is to
much for people to comprehend thats why
we have a conscious and a subconscious
mind.
Humans use less than one tenth the
minds capacity and most of that is used
while we sleep. The concept of time is
our way of attempting to comprehend all
the information we receive.
Sleep depredation can blur the line
between consciousness and
subconsciousness
allowing us to see through
the illusion of time.
"Time,
space,
and
reality
are all relative")
()taken from En_Nur's L.J.
current mood: calm
current music: haujobb. homes and gardens
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| Sunday, January 27th, 2002
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10:56 am
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Watching white moon face
The stars never feel anger
Blah, blah, blah, the end
current mood: awake
current music: Handsome Boy Modeling School
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