aBSTRACT // Think 2wice? 23rd of January, 2002 3:54PM [ mood | amused ] [ music | Nick Warren: Global Underground 008 LE CD 2 ] I think this is a cool site... uh... no... wait... the site kinda sucks, but there's some funny (well, in a "that's not funny at all" sort of funny way) spoof ads on it. Bah, just click on the pic already smarty pants. ;) wRITE

aBSTRACT // Quizzes... 23rd of January, 2002 2:01PM [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | Nick Warren - Global Underground 008 Brazil LE, CD 1 ] Are you smart? Ok, so maybe you're smart. But, are you emotionally stable? Ok, fair enough. Last one: How are you in social settings in the real world? (I think we all know the answer to that one; after all, you are sitting there reading this crap in my journal). ;p I will not give my scores out here, but I can say that I am perfect in every way. ;) (Come on, that kind of egotistical remark has to be enough to get someone to reply something back to me). ;p wRITE

aBSTRACT // What am I gonna put here? 21st of January, 2002 9:33PM [ mood | amused ] [ music | William Regal's entrance music ] I've been thinking about what I'm gonna write in this thing. I guess it'll be a mix of just stupid little things with little point, and then some of my deeper thoughts. I find it helps me to think things through when I write them out. I think this could be a good way to test out my ideas too. I hope other people will read some of my stuff and tell me if I'm write, wrong, or just an ass. I like a bit of philosophical debate. I know I don't have everything figured out, even though I like to pretend I do. PS: Yes, I am watching WWF Raw Is War (and thus the music). But I swear, I'm smart despite what I'm watching. ;p wRITE

aBSTRACT // I make music sometimes 21st of January, 2002 5:19PM [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | Northern Exposure - Sasha & Jon Digweed ] Mostly I never finish anything, 'cause I never like it enough. I'm too picky. Anyway, from time to time, I'll post songs at AcidPlanet. Only 3 songs there now. I don't really like the New Order remixes much, but the Depeche Mode one is OK I think. Oh yeah - the downloadable MP3 version sounds WAY better than the streamed windows media format, so if you have the patience, grab the .mp3. :) wRITE

aBSTRACT // What to do about an ex's kids? (Not my biological child) 19th of January, 2002 6:17PM [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | glamorous grooves (house music compilation) ] Well, here goes my first 'real' entry into this thing. I wonder if anyone will read this, let alone respond to it. Regardless, here goes... I was in a relationship for a couple of years with a girl in another province, when I was also living in that other province. Things weren't working out, and I moved back here about a year and a half ago. We tried the long distance thing for a bit after we reconciled, but it just didn't work out. We called it quits about a year ago. But, that's not the point of this entry. People get together, and break up - no big deal. The thing is, my ex had a daughter. I would never before have considered having kids. Now I'm not so sure. I'm not set on having kids, but I would at least keep an open mind to it. During the time of our relationship, I got quite attached to my ex's daughter, and she got quite attached to me. My ex had her daughter at a young age. Being a young single mom, money was very tight. The first Christmas we were together, she had no Christmas tree. I had a decent job, and figured a kid should have a tree. So, I bought a Christmas tree and decorations for my ex and her daughter. I told her daughter that I had run into Santa at the mall and he had given me the tree to bring to them. My ex's daughter I think knew I was fibbing, but she didn't care. She was super excited about the tree. While my ex and I were trying the long distance thing, I fly to her place a couple of times for a week or two at a time. My ex had to work while I was there, but I spent time with her during the evenings and weekends while I was visiting. Because I was there, her daughter didn't have to get up nearly as early in the morning. She'd sleep in, then get up and I'd make her breakfast while she watched cartoons. Then, I'd walk her to her daycare, and usually stay at the daycare with her for a couple of hours. I'd read stories and play with her and the other kids. None of the kids ever had any parents/babysitters spend any real time with them at the daycare. Me being there was something really cool for them. My ex's daughter made sure everyone knew that I was HER friend. So, things like that made a pretty good bond between us. When I moved back here, and my ex and I split up for good, it was hard on me and her daughter too. I don't want to get back with my ex, but I feel bad about abandoning her daughter. I didn't really abandon her I guess, but I'm no longer in her life any more. My ex told me that at one time, her daughter asked if I was her Dad. Last summer I sent her some gifts for her birthday. She was very happy with what I sent. I debated for a long time if I should send anything or not. I wanted her to know that she was important to me, not just because I was with her mom. On the other hand, I doubt I'll ever see her again, so maybe it's better if I just fade out and hope that she forgets about me. When Christmas was approaching, I again pondered whether or not to send her a card or some gifts. In early December, I got a message from my ex's daughter (now 5). She said she was putting up the Christmas tree and it made her think of me. She told me that she loved me, and asked when I was coming back. Her mom isn't the sort of person who would tell her daughter to do that, so this is something her daughter would have thought of on her own. Needless to say that was a hard call to get. It was very happy and sad at the same time. I decided to send gifts and a card. I just got a card from my ex's daughter the other day. It says, 'Missing You' on the cover, and my ex would have let her daughter pick it out. She's a very smart kid, and wrote her name, and mine in the card. (She's been able to write her name since age 4). Also included were some recent pictures of her. This choked me up too. This was her thank you for the gifts I sent. So here's my questions: What do I do? Do I stop sending cards/gifts on birthdays and Christmas, and hope she forgets about me? Do I keep just doing what I'm doing? What should you do if you get involved with someone who already has kids? Do you keep distant from the kids until you decide to get married? Or, do you just take a chance things will work out? Maybe this sort of thing is just a fact of life for kids of single parents? 4 wRITINGs|wRITE

aBSTRACT // Woulda been cool 19th of January, 2002 10:22AM [ mood | rejected ] [ music | silence ] Aggghhh! They took down Adcritic.com. There was great stuff on that site. I was looking for something that I wanted to post here, now it's gone. wRITE

aBSTRACT // Newbie alert 18th of January, 2002 11:49PM [ mood | dorky ] [ music | silence ] Well here I go. I've followed the crowd as I seem to be finding people I know using this service. I guess I'm supposed to now write something witty, deep, or depressing (which seems to be the main theme in this place). ;) For now, I'll just leave it at this. I don't have anything worthwhile to say right now, as I'm sure you're noticing. wRITE