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9/11 loss of husband sinking in
03/16/02
By Jennifer Morrill Journal staff writer
KEARNY - Theirs was a love at first sight. She was a freshman at St. Dominic Academy in Jersey City, he was a sophomore at St. Peter's Preparatory School, and a Valentine's Day dance at St. John's Church brought them together. Every day after that, Thomas Sullivan would meet her at school and walk her home, Deirdre Sullivan said recently of her husband. "It was starry-eyed," she said of the romance. "He was handsome, he went to St. Peter's Prep. . . . I was just happy to have him by my side."
But on Sept. 11, the 23-year-long relationship was abruptly cut short.
Thomas, 38, as well as Deirdre's younger brother, L. Patrick Dickinson, 36, who both worked as brokers at Harvey, Young and Yurman Inc., were at a breakfast meeting at Windows on the World atop the World Trade Center's North Tower when a hijacked plane slammed into the building.
Deirdre said she knew the company had weekly meetings there, but did not realize her brother and husband, who was raised in Jersey City, were at the restaurant when the plane struck.
She said she turned on the television and saw the buildings ablaze, but it took a phone call from a clerk at the New York Stock Exchange, where her husband worked, to tell her he was there with six other men. She kept telling herself that these were all strong and athletic men, and that they would somehow get out.
"I said, 'They had to get out'," Deirdre said, while her 21/2-year-old son, Conor, played on her lap. "They were the strongest, the toughest guys, so we definitely thought they got out, that they were at a hospital somewhere."
In the days immediately following the attacks, Sullivan said she waited at her Kearny home with Conor and her other son, Dermot, 7, while other family members searched for the men.
But neither of them was found, and now, just more than six months later, Deirdre Sullivan said she is beginning to face the loss.
"It took a long time," she said. "I always thought there would be some excuse, that they would come home. We thought maybe some miracle happened."
But mostly, she said, it is about living day to day and making sure her sons continue with their routines.
Dermot, a second-grader at St. Stephen's School in Kearny, plays golf and bowls, and is on the baseball team. He will be making his first communion this spring, she said.
She says the boys miss their father and their uncle, and every night they kiss their photos before going to bed.
"Conor's always on my hip, and he will say things like, 'I miss Daddy,' or 'Where's Daddy? When's Daddy coming home?' " she said.
And if he sees a silver Ford Expedition, like the one his father drove, Conor will say, "Is that Daddy?" she said.
Noreen Sullivan, Thomas's younger sister, said the consolation for the loss of her brother is the two boys, who just lit up Thomas's face every second he was with them
"Those children mesmerized him," she said. "His eyes would sparkle when they were around him. . . . He was so proud of them."
His mother, Arlene, who lost her husband about a year before her son, said Thomas was always the "protector" of the family. When his father fell ill, he took off four months from work to take care of him, she said.
"He was always the protector of the family - ours and his," his mother said. "Even the older members of the family turned to him for advice."
His sister said Thomas, who played drums in a jazz band, had instilled a love of music in his sons, and last summer took Dermot to see U2 at the Meadowlands.
Every time they rode in the car together, the three of them - Thomas, Drmot and Conor - would listen to U2 and sing aloud, she said.
"One of the best things is when they are in the car, the three of them singing 'It's a Beautiful Day'," she said. "If the smile on his (Thomas') face could've reached the sky, it would have."
In addition to being a devoted family man, Thomas was also civic-minded, each year volunteering at a number of charities, as well as at the Physically Challenged Irish American Youth Team in New York and at events at St. Peter's Prep, his family said.
And he would also make his boys take at least five of their unopened Christmas gifts and give them to less-fortunate children.
"He just felt God was very good to him, and he wanted to help, to give back," said Noreen, Thomas' sister.
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