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Saturday, September 15th, 2001
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2:02 am - Grrrr I got booted!
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Pooh! I just froze and lost my entry and have to start over. Poop! There is a bunch of honking outside that is making me crazy. I hope no one is out there in trouble. I keep going out there to check but there is a guy in a robe that looked like he was calling poice.But then again, it's still going. I'm going to check again.
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1:54 am
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Well, I'm back!! I'm sorry I was gone so long; I guess that I was just so uptight about the possibility of Jon reading this that I lost the excitement to write. I'm thinking about switching names or something. I want to get a paid account. Soon....because....guess what....
I GOT A JOB!!!!! Whoo HOooo go me go me. Pay is decent for someone withput at least B.A., and I"m about 18 credits and prolly $50,000 in loans to pay back
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| Sunday, July 8th, 2001
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10:37 pm - oooops
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I hit enter and accidentaly posted before I was ready. ANyway, the BBQ was great. Everyone came. SOme people drove over 4 hours :-) The place we had it was out on the beach. We wanted to have djs spinning, but the Park wouldn't allow use to have a generator. It was pretty crowded. TRampa's gay pride is this weekend, and two pavaillions over was the "family Values" picnic. There were thosands of gay ppl. It was a riot.
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10:29 pm
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Wow!! The BBQ went off without a hitch!Almost everyone showed. Even Aaron and Jenna came out. SO many peaople came that it was really hard to be everywhere at once. I always felt like I was neglecting someone. I actullay really do feel like I didn't speanxd nearly enough time with Tree. I was offftalking walks to smoke out with everyone. When one party would come back, another would be ready. LOL I was stoned all day.
current mood:  impressed
current music: tv..waiting for Jon's friends to come over
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| Monday, June 25th, 2001
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12:03 am
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I survived Shell Island!! It was actually pretty cool. We got picked up in the parking lot by a little boat with an outboard motor. The boat was dragging from the weight of us all, but we made the 1/2 mile safely enough. From way out in the water I could see glowsticks twirling on the island...that part was awesome. We got off the boat and wandered toward the glowsticks. It had rained a lot earlier in the day and that had kinda stalled plans; the generator wasn't even up yet. There were already tents set up along the beach, and everyone seemed happy...we decided to stay. On the way back to the car to get out gear we were the only other ones in the boat with the driver. He hauled ass!!! His raggedly lil boat was flying thru the dark. It was really scary but fun. When we got back to land a ton of people were wating. Paatty and Roy had made it. The boat guy had to take the generator by itself, so we all chatted while we waited for the boat. I finally got back to the island around 10:30 or so, about 20 mins later there was music. Jon made a fire and helped a few ppl with theirs..no one else thought to bring charcoal. Patty and Roy were on the other side or the island with another couple. Patty ducked over and invited us to trip with them. For whatever reason, I only barely tripeed, but we had a great time. The guy that had the boat got tired of taking people back and forth, and left everyone stranded. Most peope were cool with that, we had planned to be out there until 11am anyway. We thought we might get stormed on, but other than a few lightning flashes, it was pretty nice. The djs sucked, but it was nice that there was music there for us. Jon and I tried to walk all the way around the island, and got really far, but finally had to turn back. I was too scared; it got really dark past the 1/2 way point.
Most of the time we just wandered around or sat in Patty and Roy's screened room. Once daylight came, a lot of people were cranky. We packed up early so that if there was a way off the island, we would be ready. We were told we could swim across the channel and then hike thru the woods on the other side back to the parking lot. We had waay too much stuff for that, thank gods. I was ok to sit and wiat, and Patty's crewe kept telling us how they weren't stressed because they had cell phnes and creidt cards.pffft. Jon hitched us a ride in a canoe. SCARY. We were carrying a tent, a big plastic tub full of our stuff,all our bedding, charcoal... all this in a little rickety canoe. I sat on the tub and tried to keep the bedding out of the water on the bottom of the canoe. It was so heavy we were only a few inches above water, and instead of oars, they had paddles designed for an inflatable boat. We took a shortcut and had to dock at a restaurant. The kid that took us was still drunk from the party and fell in the water. lol poor guy. He had told us stories of a very rough night. The restaurant ws locked, so we had to wait for his bitchy owner to let us thru to our car, but then we finally took off for home. IT was an adventure, but definitely a great time!
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| Sunday, June 24th, 2001
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11:57 pm - Psychosomatic addict insane
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I shouldn't really notice the effects of the antidepressants yet. I still feel like I do. I've had anxiety attacks, but otherwise I haven't been bad. I'm coming down with a cold, but I can handle that. It's so rare that I get ill (except for my tummy thing). I just saw the dr., too. I tried to tell hom when I was there. Pfft. So nayway, I don't know how much of my reaction to the medicine is psychomatic, but I guess it doesn't matter. I've also been walking like the Dr. wanted. I'm going to give it a shot...at this point it cant hurt. I'm not eating great yet, but I'm not eating terrible either. Baby steps.
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| Wednesday, February 28th, 2001
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8:45 am - bleh
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got sick again Sunday night/ Monday morning. Pucked into the trash, losing my Lebret..hadda fish through 3 inches of puke and trash..not a great night. I think it's that PMS thing again, it's time for it to be. Oh well, a few days of cramps, and it will be over...only to start again when my period actually comes.
current mood:  tired
current music: Can't hear the music from here..at work
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| Tuesday, February 20th, 2001
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7:40 pm
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I didn't get the job. No explanation...Don says that they decided not to hire anyone... bullshit...I would rather hear what I did wrong. It cool that I got the resume done and all that,but anything else after being that excited sucks. I don't know why I let myself believe that I had a chance of getting out of this mess. For the first time in years, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel. I ran in all excited, and *poof*..the light went out. Now I'm even deeper than before.
current mood:  morose
current music: none
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 17th, 2001
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1:45 am
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The interview thurs was cool, just me and the HR guy and then me and Don. All Don did was coach me on what to say to the other people interviewing me and gave me a tour of HSN. Got to go watch them live on air and told me how it all works, it was really fun.Way cooler than I thought it would be. I always thought HSN was kinda cheesy before.
Today was different. I met with Don's boss, and the interview session was TOUGH. He also asked about my short time span at Tampa trib, and I said I had a brief illness. I had to, I just can't lie.I also really sucked with a few questions ..."why do you want to go into Marketing?"...Two full pages of typical interview questions. I had prepared somewhat, so on most of them I did ok. I was actually impressed with myself overall. I also met with two other people in the dept.for a 1/2 hour each.
I really hope I get it, aside from the fact that the lowest end of the salary range is like $4.00 more an hour, I'll be salaried, 2 weeks vacation, and 1 week flex time, medical, dental, vision, 10 paid holidays. Domestic partners can be carried on my insurance.
I have a budget... Lots of growth potential in this position, even without a degree. Not like huge deals, but still, doing a lot better than i ever saw myself doing after bungling the whole school thing. Speaking of school, they will pay for $2000 a semester of tuition as long as I carry an A average and the degree is related to my work.
I'm getting ahead of myself, just excited. Even though it was a little rough, I feel very positive about this.Cross your fingers. I really don't know which way it will go. I am the last of 3 candidates to interview. Tuesday.
I'm going camping tomorrow, and Don will be there. I doubt he will know anything yet, he wasn't in the offcie today. Camping with my future boss. Crazy.
current mood: excited
current music: ltj bukem
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| Tuesday, February 13th, 2001
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5:31 pm
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gallons of water-flashlights-taplights-bubbles-first aid-ice-food
Going camping this weekend. :-) I"m pretty excited. Jon has never been camping. I get to bring all my firefly stuff..I have a firefly sleeping bag and beach towel and a blanket to match. :-) C and J are on their way over to return our stuff. The are moving away; got in some kind of trouble, i think. I still haven't colored my hair. I will in a few minutes.
current mood:  okay
current music: george acosta-awake-welcome to the future
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| Monday, February 12th, 2001
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6:02 pm
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I got the interviews. Thursday and Friday afternoon. I have to meet with HR, Don, the VP and the whole group of people that I would be working with.SPOOKY. The salary range is 23-31. I have to figure out what the hell to say to all these people, going to be working on that all week. And coloring my hair to a 'normal' color, and figuring out what the hell I would wear( i don't own anything appropriate)...ack. I asked Don to tell what I should say about what kinda site media 21 is and he says that it's not their business, not to be evasive, but not to volunteer any information either. I'm going to go figure out what to say.
Went to the fair yesterday, It was great! Rode a ton of rides. Didn't eat any food. J played a bunch of games. We fooled the guesser! He thought I was 23 and that JOn weighed more than 20lbs more than he does (this is a good thing). :-)
I am goingto go start figuring out what to do for this interview.
current mood:  pensive
current music: Faithless-Salva Mea
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11:32 am
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They called me for an interview. Actually, 4-5. I have to meet with the guy that will be my boss, the VP, and the affiliate group. He is going to call me back for all the times and stuff. My gawd...4-5 interviews? They also asked me if I had particular salary requirements. I have looked up the position everywhere but couldn't find it so I had to say no. ...Brief stroke of luck,phone just rang, they want me in on Thurs pm, so I have until then to prepare. I have to color my hair, find something to wear... I meet with Don Thursday and the rest of the executives and the group on Friday. EeeK!!
current mood:  worried
current music: tv
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| Sunday, February 11th, 2001
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11:57 am
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I'm buying hair color today. :-( I'm going to do it tonight at work. IF these people ever call me for an interview, I might have to be already ready already. LOL Bastards. I'm not thrilled about coloring my hair.
Jon starts bartending school next week. He intends to bartend weekends, keep the job he has now, and have school in the mornings. Things aren't so smiley here. He has a program on his PC that monitors all use and gathers passwords.
I've eaten meat only 3 times in 2 weeks. I'm eating breakfast... brown sugar and oat Total with whole milk, berry juice (100% juice, not juice drink),yogurt(with active cultures). Went grocery shopping last night and didn't get any bad stuff (except koolaid). Didn't buy any meat either. Black beans, red beans, black eyed peas, pinto beans, white rice, yellow rice, pasta. Tons of veggies too. Brown rice and tofu are next to figure out. A lot of the stuff was canned, but right now that's going to have to be good enough.
Angela is coming over :-) She's in Tampa for an interview. More on that later, I have to go take a shower.
current mood: okay
current music: dido
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| Thursday, February 8th, 2001
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6:27 am - tummy
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One of the things I meant to do with this is keep track of my tummy, so I better do it while I'm thinking of it. I got sick once last week, on the first day of my period. I was puking like crazy. Just that night, though. Other than that I have been mostly ok. I had bad p cramps, and I have had the alien belly a few times, but otherwise it's been ok. I think I got my period last sat 2/3. that is the night I was sick. Last Sunday (almost 2 weeks ago) is when I decided to change my eating patterns. SO far I haven't really eaten anything bad. A few slips here and there, but nothing drastic. I"ve eaten all kinds of stuff though. It hasn't been bad. Now if I can just start exercising!
current mood:  anxious
current music: none-Robin has her door closed
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| Tuesday, February 6th, 2001
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11:16 am
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. I MAY BE GETTING A JOB!!!! Whooo hooo! The funny thing is, is I know little about it. My current job is such a mess that I don't care. I work 8 hours a shift when I get paid for 7 (no break, even for 16 hour shifts), we have frequent unpaid meetings on short notice, sometimes for as long as 2 hours. Raises do not exist. No support from my superiors. Instead of sick time, our pay is docked for a week if we miss work. No holiday pay, we are open 24 hours a day 365 days a year. OK, I should stop. There is so much more, but really, that's enough. I've been there 8 months and I already have the most seniority. The company is always on the verge of shutting down. Oops, I said I would stop. ANyway, the exciting part is that I posted on an email list that I was looking for a job. I talked a little with a man that was hiring, but didn't give it much thought because my situation is so crazy that I'm scared to leave my job. The man contacted me again, saying that he would be deciding this week, please get in my resume if I would like to give it a try. I some how got up my courage to do it. I have a terrible fear of resumes, too, this is my first. He said he could even help me with the resume if I hurry. So I hurried, and now that he has my first draft I feel really positive about it. I was feeling really positive BEFORE I got his response, but he says that I have a good work history! One of my biggest fears was the work history. I have big gaps in my history due to being sick so much, and I haven't done much for my age. ANyway, I just had to share. I'm really excited !
current mood: excited
current music: AK1200 -drowning
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| Monday, February 5th, 2001
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10:20 pm
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busting my ass to write a resume, which is fucking with my self-esteem enough, just to find that my boyfriend thinks i'm basically worthless, and that I talk a lot but don't say much. this is not what I needed at this time.
current mood: hurt
current music: none, the fucking flintstones are on
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Friday, February 2nd, 2001
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11:57 am
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finally fixed the date on this damn thing....ugh...woke up with a headache. Slept like shit again last night. Awake till almost 7 am, and even then slept like ass. Maybe i should go back for an hour...i don't want to take anything for my head and piss my stomach off...yup...back to try to sneak another hour of sleep.
current mood: blah
current music: none-just got up
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4:07 am
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| Wednesday, January 31st, 2001
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1:57 am - i work with great people
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The thing that will suck the most about leaving my job is leaving all my friends. :-( The people that work here are so awesome. It's funny, you would think that for this kind of business it would be the opposite. It's really rare that someone gets hired that I don't at least get along with, and most of them end up being good friends. I'm really shitty about staying in touch when they quit, though. I'm shitty about staying in touch with people period. I try with email, but otherwise, I have a really hard time with it. I guess part of the problem is that I don't leave the house much, but I suck at calling too. I'm going to have to get better about that. If I loose touch with the peopl ethat work now, that would suck. They are really great, and I can learn from each of them in different ways. I"m going to make it a point to call rachel and get in touch with Perri ann and Lara as well. I wish I hadn't lost touch with Lisa, but I hear she's in Vegas shooting a porno. I was surprised. Gil told me, but Dermot and Joe ran into her in Vegas as well. What are the chances...run into your former boss from Clearwater while you are both in Vegas for entirely different reasons? SOunds like something that would happen to me. NOt that I have any intentions of making any porno's though. NOt in a million years. Not even in my craziest days. Good for Lisa, though. She is pretty level headed (when she isn't dragging boys down the road with her car), I don't think the porno biz with fuck with her too much.
I have the munchies...I'm going to go find the triscuits I bought. That was the healthiest thing I could find at Hess. I didn't really eat dinner, I had a salad. NOt great, but at least nothing evil. I'll be back later, I'm sure. I have 8hours to sit here :-)
current mood:  high
current music: something Robin is playing..not sure some slow jam stuff
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| Wednesday, January 31st, 1996
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1:23 am - waiting....
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She isn't here yet...
So this journal thing reminds me of one of the best times I had when I lived with Emily and Sarah. I spent my last dollars to get some K cause a friend of theirs had some, and they had never done it. It was my last money, but I wanted them to have the experience, andi don't regret it. We had a great time, they even did some telepathy shit. We all did a lot of soul searching and such. It was so great that the next night we decided to record ourselves. Thank godds it was only audio, but it was still insane. We damn sure didn't sound like we found any meaning of life...we sounded like freaks. We actually were trying to be insightful and stuff too. It was fun though, and I still don't deny the events of the night before. You can never really explain the things that you experience on K. SOme of them aren't meant to be explained.
So, my point is that this thing reminds me of that night...like I have the mic in my hand, and I'm just talking... that's what this journal thing reminds me of.
I'm hoping to get something out of writing this journal. I think that I will. I'm sure it wouldn't make very interesting reading for anyone else, but that's not really what this is about. I actually don't know if I will go back and read me own stuff, once i'm finally thru r
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