Monday, March 5th, 2001
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4:28 pm - ColorQuiz!
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Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.
Unhappy at the resistance she feels whenever she tries to assert herself. However, she believes that there is little she can do and that she must make the best of the situation
Your Desired Objective
Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offering quiet contentment and a sense of belonging.
Your Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth.
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Sunday, February 25th, 2001
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4:09 pm - Blue..
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I changed my colors and picture again.
I think I actually like this one! What do you guys' think? ;)
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Matchbox 20 - Push (Acoustic)
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2:06 pm - I love weekends.
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I haven't written for a few days but nothing has really happened since. I have Variety show full show rehearsals everyday this week and early morning practices a couple of days. Right now I'm drinking hot chocolate and lurking around chickclick when I really should be working on my two projects that are due this week.
Oh yeah, I managed to get another cold--I wish winter was over!
This weekend I've basically done nothing and enjoyed every minute of it. I love doing nothing, there's a strange satisfaction I get out of nothingness... or maybe it's just that I'm a lazy bum.. hah, oh well. Tomorrow is back to school. I'm jumping for joy if you can't tell. I'm hoping for some freak storm to come through, though the weather predicts clear skies most of this week. We're already going to school through June 6th, I really shouldn't be wishing for school cancelations if I actually want a summer.
Oh and for all those who care I had to get a new ICQ number. I formatted my hard drive (damn viruses!) and I didn't feel like digging through to find my old number. Here's my new number : 109503913. Talk to me girls. :)
current mood:  content
current music: Aimee Mann - I've Had It
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Thursday, February 22nd, 2001
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5:25 pm
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Grr.. my parents are making me so mad. They always talk about me respecting them yet they don't even respect my privacy. My mom had opened all of my letters today, was snooping on my e-mail, and went through stuff in my room. Then when I said something about it my dad got mad and said "Who pays the rent?" That's bullcrap. If they can't respect my personal space then I don't even want to live here.
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Wednesday, February 21st, 2001
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6:38 pm
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I'm back to being busy again. Almost everyday I have afterschool and before school practices or rehersals. I can't wait until variety show is over--no more of this!
Lately I've been feeling so out of touch with my friends (both real life and internet) lately. It's like I talk to them and all, but I'm not really connecting with them. Does that make sense? -.- It sucks.
current mood:  blah
current music: Dido - Honestly Ok
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Monday, February 19th, 2001
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6:31 pm - My name.
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Ashley
(Old English)
~ meaning ~
One from the ash-tree meadow
~ motivation ~
Aims to achieve their goals.
~ character ~
Direct and to the point
~ feelings ~
Needs to be needed
~ intelligence ~
Self-reliant
~ spiritual ~
Has an indominatable spirit
~ nature ~
Has a fastidious personality
~ inherent ~
You are a natural leader
current music: Aimee Mann - Stupid Thing
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Sunday, February 18th, 2001
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1:13 pm - Blah
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Pooey.. I was hoping when I got up this morning all my mp3s would magically appear.. no go. Naturally they had to "disappear" at the most inopportune time.. right before I was getting a cd burner to burn them! I swear I have the worst luck, I've lost them four times now.
current music: SR71 - Another Night Alone
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1:02 am - *blinkblinks*
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I was sitting here listening to my mp3s and all of a sudden they wouldn't play.. I check the folder and half of them have vanished. Thinking my computer was just being screwy I resetted it, and when I came back the D drive (which held all 5gb of my mp3s) disapeared. This is almost amusing in an extremely not amusing sort of way.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: silence...
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Saturday, February 17th, 2001
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11:18 am - I can never think of subject titles...
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I got woken up at 10 this morning. My parents wanted to know something... and right now I can't even think of what they asked me. They just called me up again asking what color of coat I'd want from Old Navy. I just bought myself a leather jacket, but heck if they want to buy me a coat I'm not complaining.
I'm still kind of moody this morning, better than last night. The fact that I've been under a lot of stress lately doesn't help.
current mood:  okay
current music: Matchbox20-Argue
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Friday, February 16th, 2001
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10:57 pm - Do I have "walk on me" stamped on my forehead?
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It always seems like when somebody else needs somebody to talk too I'm always there for them but when I need somebody to talk too everybody is "busy". Or when somebody else just wants to talk I'll talk to them, I may even put other things aside to talk to them... yet when it comes to me nobody has time.
I feel so walked on sometimes.
This has not been a good day.
current mood:  confused
current music: Bif Naked - Lucky
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9:30 pm - Grr.
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I'm so glad it's Friday! This week has seemed so long... I got two tests back. I got a B+ on the math test (which is good considering the teacher), and an A+ on the English test.
I am so sick of my brother, and my brother's dad. My mom got into a big argument on the phone with his dad because he hasn't paid his child support payments for a few months, and my mom is threatening him with a court case. God they're so annoying. I can't wait until my brother is gone and I don't have to listen to any of this anymore. My brother even said today, "I can't wait until I'm 18 and can move away from this f***ing town and get away from you f***ing people." Well *growl*. Then my brother got mad at my mom for talking to his dad.... what the heck? Sometimes I think my family is so screwed up.
current mood:  bitchy
current music: Dido - My Lover's gone
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Thursday, February 15th, 2001
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7:53 pm - Bippity boppity boo.
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Today seemed to drag on forever, I didn't think I'd ever get out of school. I've been thinking it was Friday, all day I thought it was Friday. Makes the week seem so much longer now.
Ugh.. get this. In Algebra, Lindsay always asks me for help instead of the teacher. I help a few people with there math.. anyways this morning lindsay went into the room because she forgot something in there from the other day and the teacher said to Lindsay, "Ashley is a student not a teacher." And Lindsay said, "Yeah but Ashley actually helps me, you just confuse me." Then walked out... and well today she went around to everybody and asked if they understood the homework assignment and she came to me and said, "I don't think you need help, smirked then went away. Then everytime somebody came to me for help she'd watch me with her evil hawk-like eyes, so unnerving!
T is in a better mood now. I talked to him today and he was happy.. and I was happy. Yeah just a happy bunch of people I guess.
current mood: mellow
current music: Sarah Mclachlan & Delerium - Silence
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Wednesday, February 14th, 2001
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6:12 pm - Oh yes and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
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I knew I forgot to say something!
Oh oh, and I'm getting a CD Burner.. please rejoice for me :) I've been wanting one of those for ages.
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6:07 pm - My exciting day *sarcasm* :)
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Let's see here.. Today it snowed 5 inches of snow, the roads were super slick because it rained before it snowed, and well they didn't let us out of school--there was an accident by our school even. Stupid school. I'll go through my school day today.
1st Hour-English
In English today I took a quiz today over the long definition of a short story (in verbatim), characterization, and setting. It was pretty easy considering that I didn't even look over my stuff. We were assigned a project last week that I forgot about--was remind today! We have to read three short stories and write up a paper on each one. I'll have to start on that this weekend.
2nd hour- Family & Consumer Sciences (foods)
We cooked today! We made these meat cup dealies (don't ask), and a desert called pavlova. Well the thing is most groups have 3-4 people in their groups, and well we had two! For the desert we were supposed to work with another group on it and our group ended it up doing it all--go figure. Anyways Kourtney was working on the desert the whole time, and I was working on the meat dealie and ugh it was such a mess! There was way too much stuff to do, we had to get slips to class because we were 20 minutes late. Yeah, that's how long it took.
3rd hour- US History
In History we have this huge research project we're working on. We'll be working on it all semester, and guess who hasn't even started on it? *raises hand high in the air* Yeah, procrastination really bites you in the butt.
4th hour- Algebra
We took a test today. I thought it'd be easy because I knew what I was doing. But nooo the questions just had to be complicated. I always freak out during tests, psych myself out and whatnot. There's two problems that I'm really unsure about, guess I'll find out how I did in a few days.
5th hour- Gym
Gym was actually fun today. Okay well it's been fun for a few weeks now, I like playing volleyball! Woo! We played against people who were pretty good, and well nobody on my team is in volleyball so we lost; but it was fun :)
6th hour- Physical Science
We have a new project in this class too! What's with all the projects lately? This is a partner one, if that helps in the very least. I'm partnered with Cassandra, and she's not exactly school oriented so we'll see how that works out, heh :)
7th hour- French
I can't really tell you what we did in class today because honestly, wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. I was sucking on my lolly (hehe) and doodling on a notebook.
current mood: bored
current music: Aimee Mann - That's Just What You Are
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Tuesday, February 13th, 2001
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9:33 pm - Tears In Heaven- Eric Clapton
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Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven...
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you feel the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
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8:31 pm - Some days deserve a good *growl*
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I just got back from babysitting. Mike, got called in by the hospital to see a patient so I got to go home early. Nathan, threw such a fit when his parents got home saying that he wanted me to be his mom, oy. Me? A mom? That's a scary thought.
Last night my dad got in a fight. It was so stupid too. I asked him a question, he didn't respond, so I asked it again and he blew up at me! Then when I said, "What the heck did I do??" he said I was back-talking, uhm... I don't have the right to defend myself? Screw that. Ugh... we used to be close, but ever since a week or so ago he's been on my case about everything. It's like nothing I do is good enough for him or something, very irritating. I stay out of everybody's way, I don't even talk all that much, and somehow I'm the one who always gets yelled at. I'm sick of people taking their bad moods out on me.
Today in math we got a new seating arrangement. There's like 12 people in our class (very small class), and well nobody sits next to eachother... we're all spread way far apart. JD, Em, and I are all in the back row, which is pretty cool, I suppose. We had time to study for our test all day today, and work on the review assignment. I've had that assignment done for three days, and I already know everything that's going to be covered by the test. I just sit there really bored. It was kind of amusing today though, more people were asking me for help then they were the teacher. The teacher said, "Looks like Ashley is in popular demand today," then smirked.
I haven't been able to talk to T much since Saturday. Yeah that doesn't seem like that long, but it is to me. He's been bummed out about something, but due to his stupid internet connection (gr), and me being busy I haven't been able to talk to him to find out what's up.. *sighs*
current mood:  moody
current music: The Corrs - Breathless
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Monday, February 12th, 2001
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5:44 pm - Busy, busy, busy!
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~Here's my schedule for this week.
Monday- Alpha meeting (2:30-3:05), Afterschool 9th grade small group (3:10-4:10), Orientation (7-9)
Tuesday- Early morning women's choir (7:10-8:15), Afterschool 1st half of variety show practice (3:00-3:50), Babysit (4:30-9:30)--come home, eat, shower, do homework.. blah..
Wednesday- Early morning women's choir (7:10-8:15)
Thursday- Afterschool 2nd half of variety show (3:00-4:20)
Friday- Early morning 9th grade small group (7:00-8:00)
On top of that I have tests for three classes I really need to study for, 15 pages out of the History book I need to take notes for, regular homework, and two small projects (read 3 short stories and write about them, and write a 1,000 word report on a topic of choice that involves history in some way.) We start a new project in Science class Wednesday. I need to write up an info thing for Alpha tonight if I decide to be in..
Oy I'm swamped.. I hate being busy.
Today was a basically nothing boring day. Sat through classes in a brick building listen to teachers talk about stuff they've already talked about weeks earlier. Grand I tell ya!
[Edited to say 1,000 word report] :o)
current mood:  busy
current music: Eve 6 - Heart in a Blender
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Saturday, February 10th, 2001
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3:30 pm - Fwd I got in an e-mail today.
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~Believe in yourself
Set your standards high
You deserve the best.
Try for what you want
And never settle for less.
Believe in yourself
No matter what you choose.
Keep a winning attitude
And you can never lose.
Think about your destination
But don't worry if you stray
Because the most important thing
Is what you've learned along the way.
Take all you've become
To be all that you can be.
Soar above the clouds
And let your dreams set you free..
current music: Melanie Doane - Mel's Rock Pile
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Friday, February 9th, 2001
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7:17 pm - OooOOoo.. colors....
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I'm in a uhm.. pastel sort of mood right now, can't you tell?
Mwahahaha.
current mood:  silly
current music: Tori Amos - Landslide
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6:28 pm
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Ahh... they're making us go to school Monday since we missed two days! That's evil, I was looking forward to having a long weekend!
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