Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jenny's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
10:41 pm	let me take you into the mind of rustel... "...it's...something about you.... provided that every human being is a spark in a dark universe; the simple chance of your existence is one out of more zeroes than will fit in this notebook; however that solidifies the fact that everyone is a completely unique and individual being; what forces have come to form us? these differences are glossed over in modern days, people are referred to as masses; as crowds. differences are nominal, not special. this all sums up back to you. compounded on the yellow flower in the red field, you have somethng extra. something to catch the eye; the mind.... something that makes you special." by rustel for jenny (follow me to the edge of the world)
8:43 pm	feather collections and composers i cant even pronounce... ...thats my day with rustel. playing guess the classical song in his car. at first it all seems the same to me...but then he explains it and each one portrays so much imagery...it's incredible. today i had another unbelieveable day...i wont get into details here on livejournal. but i met his dogs and cats and witnessed his beautiful works of art. made my day...once again. jenny Current Mood: horny Current Music: phish (follow me to the edge of the world)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
7:31 pm	i had the most unbelievable time today with rustle. i cant even put any of it into words...if he was here he would probably be able to. he is just so amazing like that. it's like, he tells me what i wanna hear...instead of always hearing you're gorgeous and amazing and all that he speaks to me in metaphors. and it's just....wow! it's so unbelieveable. i'll tell you more when i have words...i am at a loss of words. jenny Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: rusted root (3 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
1:54 pm	EVERYONE!!! ATTENTION!!! MONTY WANTS A LIVEJOURNAL! IF ANYONE HAS ANY CODES...MONTY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH...IT WILL BE WORTH YOUR WHILE. (follow me to the edge of the world)
1:45 pm	FUCK fuck. what am i going to do? i have red over here and he is just omg and yeah and then i have enchanting blue over there and he is just wow blows my mind...and FUCK. what the hell am i supposed to do? reds giving me roses and enchanting blue is writing me songs and FUCK! i'm sooooo confused!!!!! FUCK!!!! jenny Current Mood: ecstatic (4 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, May 18th, 2002
12:22 am	red rose a rose is what he gave me to take my breath away he didnt know daises are my favorite still he pushed it anyway and yes my breath was taken by this rose so plain and red his lines were so cliche' what was going on his head red roses are for queens boring but with magical beauty does he think i am a queen and giving red roses are his duty and red...why red? out of yellow, orange, blue? red is such an evil color yet somehow i fell for you and now what is this going to lead? a life full of red roses and romantic nights? i want excitement i want a thrill i want adrenaline rushes and bright lights i want to buy sexy clothes and go to parties and dance i want one night stands with strong cologne i want nothing like romance i want to run in fields of sunflowers with my friends lay out under the moon in wet but warm sand i want to see different eyes, different voices i want to admire peoples hands now im stuck with this red rose by my side i thought i said the right answer but it was a mistake...and maybe i lied. (3 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Tuesday, May 14th, 2002
9:30 pm	everything was grand! i swear it was! and then someone said something to me and it all went down hill again! so, i thought, well, i'll go shopping and it will relieve some stress! nope! made me frustrated. what is up with this new style?! it's gross! so i had absolutely no cigarettes and a mindful of thoughts and questions and ahh!!! those two things dont mix well. cuz if your mind is stressed...it needs smokes to kinda...i dunno...numb the stress. well, finally i got a hold of sweet little gary and yay!! he got me some. then i smoked like 5 in a row...and now my printer isnt working so i cant do my art and my teacher is gonna bitch and than im gonna be in trouble and i have a scarey doctors appointment on thursday and im so scared of whats gonna happen and i wish scott was home so i could cry to him! other than that...ashley and danielle and chris and melissa have made me soooo happy this past week. thanx so much guys! Current Mood: discombobulated Current Music: rusted root of course! (follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, May 11th, 2002
11:55 pm	cant seem to wanna go to sleep tonight cant sit still its raining and pouring and thundering and lightening and i just wanna be wrapped up in your arms under a blanket then i'll feel safe and even thought my heart will be pounding i'll be able to relax close my eyes and fall asleep (2 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
3:59 pm	im so unhappy with myself. i was so cherry and happy and woo hoo...but then someone says one word, or i see something, or i smell something and all of a sudden everything just pauses and i am lost. and i start thinking of everything and nothing all at once and everything clouds my head and my eyes and i blink and it comes out in a single tear that slowly rolls down my face and i wipe the tiny wet path it made on my cheek and i sigh...long but short and quietly, and then i stop. and i try to breath but it hurts because i have this big block of shit and chaos and shit in my throat that i try to swallow but it hurts and then it all comes out again in a single tear that i try to stop but then another comes and another. and then i think, and i dont know exactly why they come but they do and then i stop and i think. and everything is wrong, but everything is perfect. and everything feels so good but everythings terrible. then the feeling comes back once more...right under my heart across my ribs. it's back again and i dont know how to get rid of it. and i wanna be a big fucking bitch to my parents for not being supportive. for supporting billy...and for pushing me away and telling me I was wrong. and i wanna slap billy in the face for getting everyones love and compassion and sympathy and for ruining my night and for coming over today. and i wanna punch people at lane in their stomache for getting in my business and not supporting me and making this even harder. but then i cant, and i wont, because im not strong enough to tell them...and i break down and it hurts so so bad. im sorry for everthing i did and do thats so wrong. (3 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
8:34 pm	blue diamonds wow! some people could be sooo nosey! anyways...im so sick of these people being in my business. everytime something happens with me and billy..."omg why? why u gonna do that?" blah blah. they dont have the slightest clue. i wish everyone would just leave me alone with it. me and billy have it under control... we dont need anybodys "HELP". anywho. im supposed to either hang out with danielle or scott tomorrow. i dunno who tho. i mean, i wanna talk to scott and chill, and i wanna watch this movie he's talking about, but i havent chilled with danielle in sooo long! ah! MISSY I LOVE YOU! YOU TO MELISSA! YOU TO ASHLEY! jenny Current Mood: awake Current Music: rusted root of course! (2 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Monday, May 6th, 2002
9:54 pm	i hate it so much when people talk shit before they know whats really going on.no one has any right to say anything about me unless they talk to me themselves. whatever...im not stressin well, im feeling good today. me and scott hung out after school today. we had a great nice n long talk. i really like talking to him cuz he understands like everything! like he doesnt try to see it from any ones side...he really like puts himself in that situation and understands. so i had a good time. i had my first traffic today...i got a b!!! awesome. im so excited. well, i gotta do a report that i dont think im gonna do but i really have no choice. so im gonna go. night! jenny Current Mood: content Current Music: rusted root/welcome to my party (follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, May 4th, 2002
8:46 pm	i feel so alive... for the very first time.... ha ha...rip off of pod. but oh well cuz thats how i fuckin feel!!!!!!!!!!! (follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, April 27th, 2002
12:12 am	wonderful week wow. i've had a wonderful week. simply wonderful. i stayed at the cooneys tuesday night and it was just wonderful. me and dina stayed up all night talking. i was wonderful to get to know her. before i just thought she was just like every other person, but now i have a totally different view on her and i respect her so much. tonight was wonderful. i had work until 7...may i add not one single customer came in the whole time i was there! bill n scott picked me and billy up after work. we went back to their house and had a wonderful time feeding their bunny and listening to them play guitar. we then went to play pool. i have soooo much fun when we go play pool with bill and scott. me and bill are always on a team against billy and chris. last week me and bill won but this week we were terrible and lost. and we play for money too so i lost all my money!! it's mmmkah though. *highlight of my day would have to be listening to bill rip on chris about joe being chris' girlfriend. absolutely hilarious that guy is. i just came home though and saw my brother chris standing in the back room. i went back there to say hi to him and he seemed really upset. i asked him what was wrong and he said everything. so i said well are you ok? and he said no. then he said im going to sleep, ill see you in the morning, goodnight. im really scared. because when he's upset this bad he usually threatens to commit suicide. and im really scared that one of these days he is. i love him sooo much, and so many other people do to. he's just such an awesome person. hes like the smartest guy i know, the best guitarist i know, it's just his atiitude. anyway, im really worried, and i pray he's gonna be ok. everyone say a prayer! mmmkah. well goodnight everyone. OH! AND BILLY GOT HIS DRIVERS LICENSE! WOO HOOO! Current Mood: good (1 follower | follow me to the edge of the world)
Wednesday, April 24th, 2002
2:28 am	this night has been a fucking experience. all i have to say is rent that fucking requim for a dream movie and you watch it, and you dont take your eyes from it. and you'll be disgusted, and you'll shed tears, and your heart will hurt, and in the end you'll be freaked the fuck out and you'll be changed. trust me. im really worried about missy. i know it's not anything to worry about, but i dont want anything bad to happen to her. i love that girl. jenny (follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, April 20th, 2002
9:38 pm	i wonder how many people really call when they say they will. Current Mood: left out (follow me to the edge of the world)
10:57 am	2.Your Full Name:jennifer rita buschner 3.Nicknames: buschner? 4.Age: 15 5.Longest Friend:shellie 6.Funniest Friends: missy and bill 7.Smartest Friend: mike 8. Dumbest Friend: jamie 9. Athletic Friend: ashley 10.Loudest Friend: melissa 11.Shyest friend: mando 12.Who Do u Get Advice From: mike and billy 13.Tell Your Secrets To: i dont really have any ABOUT YOURSELF 15.Height: 5'3 16.Sign: leo 17.Hair colour: red, brownish, blondish 18.Righty / Lefty: righty 19.Eyes: hazel 20.Shoe Size: 8 21.Shoe Brand: converse 22.Do u Crack any Body Parts:yea 23.If u do which parts: my knuckles 24.E-Mail: akatadium@msn.com 26.Girl Friend/Boyfriend: yeah 27.Do u Like Anyone: yup 28.Who??: my billy Have u Ever 29.Got In a Fight: yes 30.Liked a Teacher: yes 31.Killed Some one: nope...wouldnt be able to live with the guilt 32.Laughed So Hard You Peed in Your Pants: i dont think so, maybe 33.Sang in the rain: yup 34.Walked into a glass Door: no 35.Kicked The Wall: no 36.Been in Love: yes 37.Ate Dirt:no 38.Gone Skinny Dipping: no :( 39.Asked someone out: yup 40.Ran into a parked car: no GiRLS ON GUYS if you are a guy, skip to the next section 41.Boxers or Briefs: boxers 42.Tall or Short: tall...shortest is like my height 43.Long Hair or Short: i like long, but i could make an exception 44.Dark or Light eyes: dark 45.6 pack or muscular: ew neither 46.Ear Pierced or Not: depends, i prefer not 47.Good Guy/Bad Guy: i like bad, but i could make exceptions 48.Light Hair/Dark Hair: i like dark 49.Hat/No Hat: hat Which One is Better 62.Coke or pepsi: pepsi 63.Taco Bell or Mcdonalds: taco bell 64.Cats or Dogs: cats 65.Coffee or Tea: coffee 66.Sour or Sweet: sweet 67.chocolate milk or hot chocolate: chocolate milk 68.Dance or punk: dance 69.Black or White: white 70.Top or Bottom: bottom...definitely 71.Ice Hockey or Roller Hockey: roller hockey 72.Day or Night: night 73.Lights On or Off: on 74.Ocean or Pool: ocean 75.Winter or Fall: fall 76.25 or 52: 25 77.Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: neither 8.Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC: BACKSTREET BOYS!!!!!!! fuck nsync 79.Pop music or Rock music:rock Your favorite 80.Food: baked mosticholli 81.Actor: jonny depp actress: julia roberts/sandra bullock 82.Store: thriftings the best 83.Band: rusted root/phish 84.Restaurant: golden apple 85.Singer: luv sheryl crow 86.Thing to Do: learn guitar 87.Favorite number: 3 88.Album: beatles abbey road 89:Amusement Park: st pascals carnival 90.Animal: koala 91.Holiday: halloween 92.Magazine: jump 93.Band: rusted root 94.Song:sister contine 95.Scent: nag champa 96.Book: how to be a wallflower 97.T.V Show: glory days! 98.Radio Station: 97.9 99.Movie: nightmare before christmas In The Future 100.Who's Gonna be by Your Side: billy 101.Where you Gonna Live: downtown, hopefully 103.Animal: kitty and a great dane Random Questions 104.Define Love: cant even...love is billy 105.Whats your Wife/Husband Gonna be Like?: i dunno...billy 106.What are u Wearing right NOW:pj pants and a hoodie 107.What Does Your Screen Name stand For: in 6th grade my friends called me tadium...as known as tadium...ohhhh cherrybomb143! i dunno...cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cheeeerrrrry bomb!!!!!!! 143...i love you 108.Where were you born: Chicago 109.Favorite Place to be kissed: lips 110. Favourite day of the week?: friday 111. Who sent you this email?: no one 112. Hottest Star ever: cameron diaz 113. Bedtime: whenever i get tired 114. HOTTEST PERSON YOU KNOW: billy 115. What do you think of this survey: kinda stupid (follow me to the edge of the world)
Friday, April 12th, 2002
9:12 pm	feelin like the outsider i adore you yea you the one who adores everyone else what do i have to be? should i be a cutter? should i be depressed? should i go on and on about my shitty problems? will you adore me then? what does it take? should i know big words? should i get a's and b's? should i complain? should i overreact, crave for attention? thats who you seem to go for why wont you go for me? do you think i dont have time? do you think im not interesting? am i not interesting because im not suicidal? am i not interesting because im happy? am i not interesting because i have a boyfriend? what does it take to be adored by you? i adore you yea you the one who adores everyone else (3 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Thursday, April 11th, 2002
5:29 pm	wonderful hey everyone! i went to the docter this morning and she said i got strept throat. wooo hooo! i think im dieing...but i'll live! jenny buschner always does! i havent seen billy in god knows how long. but he should be here any minute...cant wait! i think the only thing that sucks about this sickness ( well theres a lot of things that suck ) is that i always get like hot flashes and i start sweating, and ah its terrible. i love my dad. he took such great care of me this week. my sister did too. im very grateful for the two of them. and my aunt too! she took me to the docter this morning and then when she found out i had strept she said ok lets go to jewl right now and get this prescription and then we'll get you some water and some soup. she was so sweet. so god bless them! and god bless chris wendorf! he sent mail to all of my teachers today (because i didnt get the homework for over spring break)stating to call me and give me my homework. alright then. im gonna rest and wait for my billy to arrive. i love ya all and miss ya all! jenny Current Mood: amused Current Music: the beatles (follow me to the edge of the world)
Monday, April 8th, 2002
2:52 pm	when you're sick like this, you regret cutting so much. yea, billy and i are both really sick. i cant swallow and i have no appetite whatsoever. my head feels like it's gonna fall off. so i didnt go to school today and i dont think im gonna go tomorrow. but i have to. but ughhh im so sick! billy had his traffic today and i feel so bad cuz hes so sick and he has to drive. i hope he did ok. well, im gonna rest. cya! Current Mood: sick Current Music: jesus christ superstar (2 followers | follow me to the edge of the world)
Saturday, April 6th, 2002
10:29 am	ha wooo! im listening to my back street boys at 10 22 in the morning! what fun!? well, i havent updated in a fuckin long ass time. so sorry if anyone was wondering, well, they probably werent, but anywho. i had a good time last night, and i didnt think i would. well me n billy went to stephs house. steph has this new friend lindsy. i think shes so kewl. she likes billy a lot so its kinda funny. but i really think shes a kewl chick. shes got this hippie/vintage style going on, kinda like me. so lindsy steph billy and i were all painting each other nails last night. i gave billy blue with purple poka dots! lol. it was absolutely hilarious. on other terms, my mother and i are not on speaking terms as of wednesday. so she left for colorado yesterday morning and i didnt even know she was goin anywhere. she didnt even say bye to me. what if she dies this week. then ill regret not making up with her for the rest of my life. but whenever we get in a fight, its like i have to be the better person and talk to her. she never talks to me first. i hate it. and this time im not giving in. well, ok i wanna hang out with MISSY today, so i better hurry up and catch her early before i loose her again. i wanted to hang out with her yesterday but i mustve missed her by like 2 minutes. well, cya later. jenny Current Mood: content Current Music: bsb! blacknblue (follow me to the edge of the world)