Sunday, February 24th, 2002
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3:51 pm - *cracks up*
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3:06 pm - ;)
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hey...
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
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(tell me a secret)
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9:02 am - bittersweet...
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uh..I'm at work, how fucking gross is this shite?! I've been playing hang-a-roo and updating the accounting system for about an hour now...and I'm starving. I should be in bed.. or at least at home (considering this IS my day offffff). I finally went to sleep (again) around 4am.. I thought thee boy was going to call, but thats ok.. he should hang with his friends and be free. The last thing I want to do is come between them and have his friends feel neglected..I know how much that can suck *ahem* NAJARA... plus we hang out almost every single night (I'm definitely NOT complaining) I just don't want him to get bored/tired of me anytime soon. It was wierd and lonely sleeping alone last night.. I dragged *le bun* into bed with me but he just squirmed and spazzed so back to *le cage* the bun went. Alright I'm going to go look for something to eat before I pass out or puke.*blahhh*
i'm a pixie..i'm paperdoll..i'm a cartoon..i'm a chipper cheerful free for all and i light up a room..i'm the color me happy girl..miss live and let live..and when they're out for blood i always give.
current mood:  awake
current music: The Beatles- Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
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(1 whisper | tell me a secret)
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2:38 am - PIXIEVOMIT is a dork.
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'I have a re-occurring dream, everytime I lose my vvvvoice..I swallow little glowing lights'
So I cat napped until about 11:30pm..now I can't sleep..and I have to be up for work in about 3 hours, gross. I can't believe CYndi Lauper is tomorrow and I have to fucking work... GOD DAMNIT. Martin and Nora said they'd take pictures for me and buy my arse a teeeee-shirt but its not the same. I have to work on Monday too, so now I have NO days off this week...can we say SLAVE LABOR?! But on a positive note the Le Tigre concert is tomorrow night *woot* I'm going for sure...thee boy said he'd go too, but its $15 to get in so we shall see. I decided that I'm going to sell my fem. eggs..I saw an AD in the 'New Times' they pay $5000 for 'em..I mean I don't need 'em at the present moment and woman produce more sooooo... Plus I want money so I can either 1). get an apt or 2). move out of state and 5 grand sounds awfully nice ;) *rubs hands together* When I told my mom my plan to sell, she just smirked at me and told me to warn them because I'm 'chaotic' and they might want someone thats a little more stable to donate... *psha*
pssst. [note to self] call Jon's at 11am and wake Nora up.
I MISS HIM
current mood:  lazy
current music: Bjork.
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(7 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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4:37 pm - blah blah blah...
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Uhhh, it fucking rained for the fashion show and it was a disaster. The make-up artist made me look like Marilyn fucking Manson *puh* BUT I was happy to be out with thee boy so I can't really complain. I got yelled at this morning by my mom..she gave me this weird look when she saw Nora, me and Jason in my bed *laughs* 'its not what you think mommmmmmmmmm.' Anyways I have to finish up at work...
current mood: rawr!
current music: <3jason
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(1 whisper | tell me a secret)
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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3:05 pm - list of crapola to bring to the show:
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~fake eyelashes
~shite load of make-up
~black fishnet thigh-highs
~black thong
~black bra (not mandatory)
~alcohol *heh*
~hair products
~monster boots
~change of clothes
I think I'm nervous... hope I don't screw up.. *gah*
current mood:  nervous
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11:50 am - it just gets better......
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I watched him sleep for a bit, I watched his chest move up and down with each breath, he looked incredibly peaceful.. the room was so silent, I kissed his face and then proceeded to wake him up..he looks adorable when he wakes up in the morning.. *smiles* he made a few cranky sounds and yawned..I just watched him in awe.. I thought to myself "I love this boy" .. he just laid there staring sleepy eyed in my direction..I wrapped my arms around his warm body and at that moment I was in heaven.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Last night I took a long nap and woke up at around 11:30PM...I spoke to thee boy and he came over around 1am.. we went to Churchill's (again) and had a couple of beers and llistened to this jazzy type band.. not too shabby. We saw the homeless veteran again and I gave him another beer.. we found out his name is J.J Johnson.. he called me an angel.. far from it, but nonetheless sweet. I think he means well..and quite frankly I don't care what that idiot owner from Yorkshire says.. J.J is a nice guy..HMPH! After Churchill's we went back to my house and smoked a cig with Miss Sickly (Nora) then we all went to bed.. ;) sort of! Tonight is the fashion show..filled with see-through tu-tu's, garter belts, stripey socks, monster boots, the works.. I'm sooo fucking nervous, I'm the first one that goes on stage, *pukes* I'm going to need a stiff drink to loosen up. Alright well I'm thirsty *runs to the soda machine*
current mood: awake
current music: Modern English- Melt with YOu
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(9 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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1:47 pm - my dad rocks.
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*woot woot*
Guess who's getting a nifty silver scooter?!
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!
This is just to further advance my quest into nerd-dom. I'm going to ride it around South Beach like all the ghetto thug wannabes.
current mood:  amused
current music: u2- With or Without You ;)
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(2 whispers | tell me a secret)
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9:56 am
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Odd. There is a bag of candy just sitting on my desk.. no one will admit to putting it there...hmmmmmmmmmmm?! *curious*
Last night after work Nora and I went to South Beach to Mosh Pitt to practice for the fashion show... *yawn* it was really repetative and boring... my group sucks. They have NO energy.. it drags me down and makes me do the heroin catwalk strut, *feh*
After that ordeal we went back to my house.. Nora fucked with her hair and make-up and I slept a bit. After forever and a day... we met up with Jason and went to Churchill's for a drink. Martin was supposed to hang with Nora but sold out :/ poor Nora she was sad.. I could tell, she had that I'm going to burst into tears look disguised by the the *triple pout* Well anyways we all had a couple beers and talked shite... and then we left.. in the parking lot Martin pages me for Nora and Jason and I talked to this homeless Veteran... I gave him a beer and a dollar.. he was nice. He really made an impact on Jason thought..he was telling him about the war etc... interesting yet upsetting to say the least. I took Nora to Martin's and then thee boy and I went back to my house and played with me *le spaz le bun* Chowder... and ate beefaroni! and carrots... *mmm~lol* We didn't end up going to sleep until 5am... another late night. Its always worth it though. I love spending time with him. Well I want to finish my breakfast before it gets cold so more to come later....
Trasee says:
<--- stupid
ProJectJasoN says:
<----luvs stupid girls named traci
*laughs* Ok he's too cute and I'm a lame-o for sure ;)
current mood:  giddy
current music: jason <3
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(2 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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12:53 pm - Dimmu Blah Blahhhhhhhhhh.
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I feel nauseous. I ate this seasame seed bagel with turkey and cheese on it from the bagel lady that comes to my store.. it looked kinda old in a sense, but I was starving so *gulp*
Let see I wasn't going to update about last night due to its disaterous nature, but I think I'll do it anyways:
I went to the Dimmu Borgir concert with Nora, Anthony, and Ivan. Big mistake. First of all Ivan told me he already bought the tickets and if we sold out he'd have to go by himself..he guilted me out... so we went. When we got to the door he paid there, uhhhh. So then he proceeds to get so f-ing drunk that he's singing death metal in random people's faces and yelling, etc..He starts pulling guys aside to tell them that Nora and I were the finest girls there.. *eh* Then he goes on and on on how I sshould be with him and he'll pay to have my jeep fixed if I go on 3 dates with him LAME LAME LAME. I ran into Jeremy (Jason's best friend) and Ivan was going to buy him a drink because (quote/unquote) 'he had EVERYBODY' (he bought like 4454545 drinks for strangers) Ivan starts getting all angry because I guess he thinks that Jeremy is bothering me.. he wants to fight him all of a sudden, not cool. Then Ivan starts telling me to 'shut the fuck up' and that I'm a 'fucking bitch' etc.. how embaressing, *gah* So Jeremy and I escaped the situation and moved towards the crowd and stood there and talked about bands, etc.. how I met Jason, [insert other random things here] Dimmu came on and we watced..mid-way through Anthony grabs me and tells to go outside. I spot Nora next to a tour bus 'chit-chatting with this lead singer that is a splitting image of our old d. dealer.. Ivan is staggering around... *YUCK* and this guy from the club told us to take him out of there. [by the way I'm leaving out ALOT of minor inconveniance caused by Ivan] So I use Anthony's celli to call thee boy.. Ivan then began to cause a scene and act obnoxious. He wouldn't cooperate, *hmph* In my car on the drive Ivan kept saying that I was HIS girl, *psha* the more I disapproved the more he got crazy and the more Jason got angry... I stuck up for myself as best as I could..its kinda hard when yr outnumbered and drunk Ivan was being subborn and drunk drunk drunk* I felt like it was all my fault after talking to J. he was so angry...I've never heard him so upset. He even hung up on me a few times. I really seriously thought that he was going to 86 the whole relationship... After screaming at Ivan and doing 90mph flying from Ft. Lauderdale... I stopped the car in Coconut Grove and let him out.. it wasn't his home but FUCK IT, he can walk.. I just wanted him out of my car. He's a big boy (27yrs. old) and he can stand to lose a few lbs. He yelled at me a bit and then he told me my bf was a loser.. I exploded.. I really laid it into him, I told him how he was a fucking pathetic loser that can't handle alcohol and has to ecsorted out of clubs, etc.. He then tried his best to convince me that he could take care of me if I was with him, I thought he was going to cry... and I was so FUCKING LIVID at this point I started laughing.. he then cursed me out and I sped off....
Then I dropped Anthony off and called Jason <3 he said he was coming to Miami Shores... Nora and I then waited for him... he didn't show, but he paged me. He was at home.. he wasn't coming.. he thought I would have realized that.. We argued for a bit and then he pretty much hung up on me. I went home and Nora and I just talked and I cried because I'm a puss. I got on the comp and read his journal and left a comment :/ I felt sooooooo badly. I really did. Then Nora and I got into my bed...WHEN all of a sudden thee boy pages me from his celli <3 he was on his way, I was relieved..
Nora decided she wanted to go sleep at Jon's house so I dropped her off and met up with Jason. He was being so sweet..and I felt so shitty. I just wanted to hug him and not let go..ever. He apologized so much and I didn't need the apology because seeing him made it all better. So we decided that last night never happened.... SO WHY AM I WRITING THIS THEN?! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.
current mood:  good
current music: DM- Black Celebration
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(4 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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3:45 pm - M*A*S*H anyone?!
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You live in a Mansion.
You're married to jason.
You drive a '57 chevy.
Your car is the color baby blue.
You live in the state California.
Your honeymoon is Las Vegas!!.
Your occupation is a make-up artist.
You have this many kids: 1 (0 male; 1 female).
Ha Ha! I feel like I'm f-ing 12 again...... thanks  jaded_dazey !
http://mash.dork.nu/index.html <--- everyone, everyone take it dahlings...
current mood: amused
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(7 whispers | tell me a secret)
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2:51 pm
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Monday, February 18th, 2002
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4:40 pm - duifhnvsdhiykcjnd
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So I'm dying my hair right now...and thee bleach is really bothering my poor sensitive skin, *ouch* I hope this turns out ok.
I went to lunch with Naj..we ate pitas *mmmmmmm* she ate all this wierd shite (Ex: babbaganush, falafel, hummis, tabooli salad) actually excuse me, let me correct myself..its NOT wierd I'm just very very plain jane annoyingly picky... hence the fact I ate a tuna and lettuce pita :) *yum* Then we went shopping a bit.. I bought a drawstring comfy black skirt, some honey soap, and some undies.. I bought Naj a flowery shirt she wanted! Then we went back to my house for a bit and she left... I took a cat nap and got woken up by thee ex (kal) calling *feh* leave me alone.. we broke up like 5 1/2 yrs ago..maybe longer, ew..heroin addict. Then I decided to dye my hair..which is currently in the process..I hate waiting.. I feel like I spend half of my life in waiting..waiting to go out, for the phone to ring..to get to my destination, etc..... Oh well thats life, I guess. Ok my neck is being frizzle fried by this damn 40 volume bleach *runs to rinse it off*
current mood: ouch.
current music: ;) fiona dahling!
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(4 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002
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7:11 pm - don't believe everything you here......
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ew... *kills LIZA* mean girl.
My bunny is stoned...again ~and~ my boy is sick...*triple pout* I WANT TO SEE HIM.......right now
So I really don't feel like updating so I'll keep it short and sweet...
I went to Life last night..even though I didn't want to..all I really wanted wa to be with him, but just my luck that didn't happen. i lose. :/
Tonight is Gene loves Jezebal and Starlet <--my friends band what to wear? what to wear? I think I'll go take a nap or dye my hair, but first (by request) I have to draw my baby a picture of a toasthead on my 'puter ;)........ *puh puh puh* this weekend sincerely s-u-c-k-s arse.
current mood:  dorky
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(6 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Saturday, February 16th, 2002
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12:52 pm - Sweetest Perfection
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Sweetest Perfection
The sweetest perfection
To call my own
The slightest correction
Couldn't finely hone
The sweetest infection
Of body and mind
Sweetest injection
Of any kind
I stop and I stare too much
Afraid that I care too much
And I hardly dare to touch
For fear that the spell may be broken
When I need a drug in me
And it brings out the thug in me
Feel something tugging me
Then I want the real thing not tokens
The sweetest perfection...
Things you'd expect to be
Having effect on me
Pass undetectedly
But everyone knows what has got me
Takes me completely
Touches so sweetly
Reaches so deeply
I know that nothing can stop me
Sweetest perfection
An offer was made
An assorted collection
But I wouldn't trade
The sweetest perfection...
Takes me completely
Touches so sweetly
Reaches so deeply
Nothing can stop me
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(5 whispers | tell me a secret)
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11:23 am - nothing in particular........
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I went to Revolver last night with Nora.. we met up with Jason <3 there. I felt really ugly when I first got there..but after a few drinks it numbed it out. It was slow at first but once the night progressed it got better. I was just really glad to see him ;) We danced and were bad bad monsties... *tisk tisk* and on a work day too. All the silly boys were pissing my boy off.... We stayed until the bitter end and I gave Kim and Joe a ride to their apt. on S. Beach. They're having a party tonight complete with kegs and all. *hmmm?* After I dropped them off I went to V's apt and whined and lounged on top of thee boy's lap.... we felt shitty kitty *mew* so we went back to my house and talked and fell asleep. I had to wake up for work and was fucking late AGAIN. This time it was because my step-dad and his mom just had to be awake... I had to sneak jason out... it took forever. I even tried to call in sick to work to avoid going downstairs... *pussy* They finally left my house at 9:15am.. I had to be at work at 9am , *gah* So we left and I hauled ass to work... my grandfather noticed I was late and gave that 'disappointed' look. Then Ace came in and told me to call next time *gives Jason the you were right look* but at least I didn't get yelled at. I'm so tired, I just want to curl up in my bed with thee boy and fall asleep.....*yawn* I'm definately going to go to sleep for awhile after work...or I'll continue to be a zombie, yuck.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: the oldies station :)
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(1 whisper | tell me a secret)
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Friday, February 15th, 2002
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11:16 am
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Well last night was interesting.. *shakes head and laughs* The dinner went fine.. *mmmmm* red wine and filet mignon... and Jason *winks* He gave me some flowers ;) and a card.. it was extrememly sweet.. even though he decided he didn't like what he wrote in the card I thought it was perfect, to say the least.. it made me feel special. After the lonnnnng dinner we went to Hard Rock to meet up with Nora and V.. we watched Nasi's band The Gimmicks play. Always interesting! Poor jason really looked unamused... I felt bad. We stayed there for awhile and then headed to this outside bar called Sharky's (@Bayside).. this is where things got fucking wierd. This drunk ass fuckwad with a really expensive 'you want to get jacked' type of watch was annoying the FUCK out of us. He was like in Nora and my face spitting and pissing me off.. he was dancing around like a stupid ass.. I contemplated cracking my beer bottle over his head for awhile there (not good..bad trasee!) Jason had to tell him to back off *le grrrr* Then these chicks were walking by the bar and one starts booty dancing with the drunk fucker.. she then spots me and runs to the bar and grabs my hand and pulls me to dance with her... um, NO thanks.. I hate being a psycho-magnet. Then when my baby went to the bathroom these stupid fuckers made themselves comfy at the bar next to us.. one guy put his hands in my hair.. I told him not to touch me. :/ They were trying to buy us drinks and get us to 'hang out' we told them we were with Jason... then J came back and there was a tiny confrontation.. it was stopped though. Nora was freaking out the whole night becaus of something tragic that happened to her in the past on V-day. We left Bayside because it was getting ridiculous... Jason and I dropped Nora off at *cough cough* Jonathan's *ew* and then went back to my house... (at 4am) I made him some mac n' cheese and we ate and went to sleep... I really love sleeping next to him, he keeps me warm and makes me feel comfy...
..long pause..
its 12pm.. *puh puh puh* I'm getting aggravated with the opposite sex.. (not jason dahling of course!) Every time I fucking breathe I have some ass emailing me, cat calling, approaching... ATTENTION ASSHOLES: I AM NOT A PIECE OF 'MEAT OR ASS' I AM A FUCKING PERSON.. A PERSON THAT IS NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY. THANK YOU.
check it out as I'm typing this rant I get a stupid email (go figure):
email:
I would love to meet the man who created such a beautiful and talented girl....Ooops...I'm sorry no complements, I forgot your rule Tracy....
..and you spelled my name wrong DUMBASS..
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *stab stab* I don't feel like being at work today.. I wish I would've stayed in bed with my baby. That would have made my day.... *dreams* I hate leaving him in the morning.... >^..^< *purrrrs* Well I have work to do and my uncle is in a ball-busting mood, *poo*
x0x0
current mood:  blah
current music: George Michael- FAITH! heh!
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(2 whispers | tell me a secret)
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Thursday, February 14th, 2002
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4:39 pm - *laughs* stupid stupid amusement...
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An actual ad in the London Times.
WANTED:
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
Note: Please only read lines 1,3 and 5.
~why am I so easliy amused?!
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(2 whispers | tell me a secret)
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1:13 pm - a silly pic from my birthday bash...
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picture: Masha, Najara, Will, Nora, Martin, Veronica, Trasee (red hair), Jason 'thee project'<3, my cousin Cole, and step-brother Scott....
corny....
Top Ten Rejected Valentine's Day Cards
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow,
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store,
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right,
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class,
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished,
But now I'm fulfilled, SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!
4. Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown, but so has your ass!
3. You're a honey, and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny,
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
current mood: spunky
current music: lunachicks- buttplug!
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(5 whispers | tell me a secret)
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10:15 am - my bunny is a pothead..... *puff puff bad Chowder*
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So its V-day, *le loveeeeeeeee* Dinner tonight with my dad and thee boy... filet mignon.. *mmmmmm*
Last night I went out to eat and then kicked my dads arse in bowling.. it was fun, something different. Jason did not come with us, but Nora did. We hustled in bowling, *laughs* Afterwards Jason <3 came to my house and slept over... *hmmmmmmmmmm, snuggle* Everything is going to be just fine, I love love love him ;) We drank some robitussin w/codeine and just lounged, it was relaxing. We finally went to sleep around 4am.... he's so comfy. I feel safe when I'm with him, I like that. He's so beautiful.. inside and out...and his kisses 'taste' wonderful ;) heh. *bliss*
Hopefully today I'll be able to post up some pics... Thee boy gave me instructions on how to do so... ~thanks baby~
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(1 whisper | tell me a secret)
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