Mephisto Shadows' LiveJournal

Subject:	Arggh Argghh!HAH :D
Time:	1:25 am.
Mood:	creative.
Music:	Mechanical cabaret - Sterilized.

What kind of Drug Addict are you?

ahh its me? possibly but I did do stuff at one point in my life .. oh fucking well the outlook is currently right I'm tried I dun no why I stay up late for I'm tried of composing music and ..*grrr* any ways well it was a good day today , I hung out with friends all day , got a friend a birthday gift met other friends at the store.. drooled over a kick ass stereo system at the audio store, borrowed my drummers synthesizer , so I'm happy for now as I can write some bad ass tunes now . , time to give a new statement to dark styled music any ways I dun no wtf else to put here I think I'm going to sleep.. I dun no maybe not who knows I am boring sorry if you have waited for a entry but alas I'm boring loll so I do not have to much to talk about and yet when I do , I forget to write here or its to deep and fucks my with head loll any who on a more interesting level tomorrow might post samples of music I ideas soon too so keep a watch as it will be a good till then have fun kiddies , if not well do something crazy , and if well whatever your path takes you have fun I suppose till the next time it will be soon sorry for delays just get tied up in my world *smiles*and well i have alot to talk bout just yeah well you get the ideas laterzzzz this is me signing out Good Nacht

Drink my Blood

Subject:	Awake after all these ages...
Time:	11:50 pm.
Mood:	mischievous.
Music:	Faith and the Muse - In dreams of mine.

ahh the ressurection of my online existance may i step back in and reasume my place in this most utterly fascinatng journal, its been awhile a good whilebut i've been so busy as it seems but that will all reveal itself in due time , but college and band has my time accupied alot and studying various courses in the metaphysics areas , so much has changed now where to begin *laughs* well hmm i will get around to it tommrrow i must go for now as people are herewaiting toleave

5 Fucked my Soul| Drink my Blood

Subject:	i am so empty inside
Time:	5:17 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	Three Doors Down - Be Like That.

I cannot understand my self sometimes, wish i was happy , wisah i never knew what it was to feel , i look over this vast chasm of emptiness and feel as if i alreaddy have falle in, but no i have not .i to attached and misunderstood , i almost just want it all to go away .. everything i'veever felt from love hate happiness sorrow pain , joy etc wish it wouyld just all go away sometimes .. i am bottled up alotand it comes out from only lil things like atrigger and i just hate it all i am lost , alone , very alone, friends i havve i hardly see hangout with , why i cannnot tell you ask them they are so busy withtheir lives it seems as if no time.. not all ofthem but sometimes it seems like that and i just sit here in my own lil world in the dark i go out but life is so bland to me there is no excitement , i miss my band , i miss my lifestyle ,it seems as if it stopped it self against my own will i try and now i get thses looks from people like wtf are you doing.. or i dunno i am misunderstood it seems as the people that i know them as have alll changed or where going with the flow of being into what i was .. but in the truth , they were just not really into it.. i could go on forever about this but now i just feel alone spend alot of my time alone evengoing somewhere people i was close to push me away so i am hardkly close to anyone .. only ones i trust and yet i wonder if those i trust are gonna hurt me too.. yeah i'm being a pussy and weak but i have been hardcore all trough my teen years and oneday i realized enough of being a macho pigheaded peice of shit and now the change happned i showed emotions and i have lost everything i got to close let my wallsdown and well end results are writtenhere .. i'm fucked oh well
~i am very happy cause....i know one day i will die...~
-T.O.N.

Drink my Blood

Subject:	this month has just sucked bad..
Time:	2:26 am.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	Mortiis - Everyone Leaves.

i'm fucked up .. i miss those i was close to .. i havecomplexes on self esteem cause i've been cristcised so much, so yeah it all sounds like an excuse but deep inside i feel so alone so lost sad.. not its not a shit label goth thing either .. i am just whatever ,, no matterwhat i say its going to be misundertood its all lame to me i am annoyed by myself
fuck me i fucking suck. i have so much knowledge and shit but yeah i hide it cause people have just been so cruel now i hide behind myself as a last defense .. GRRR give up may death just grant merest .. i will beso happier my seriousness will soon take away my happinesswhatever little i was able to ffeeelk FUCK IT ALL..good bye to the inner child again ..i just hard times trusting people and thissong shows what i truly feel inside and its not an image .. so much fucking shit in this world my story is nothing to this plane and just i'm going to give up caring andgo numb.. goodnight ...

3 Fucked my Soul| Drink my Blood

Subject:	HERES THE FACTS LOL I FOUND ON SOME RANDOM SITE
Time:	7:57 pm.
Mood:	horny.
Music:	Cradle of filth - suicide and other comforts.

Your Horoscope: The truth
Here is how I see your horoscope. I'm not being rude to any particular person, I've just found all of these to be true. Hope you like!..

Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same stupid mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces: Feb. 19-Mar. 20 You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Aries: Mar. 21-Apr. 19 You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful of advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Taurus: Apr. 20-May 20 You are practical and persistant. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bul-headed. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

Gemini: May 21-June 22 You are a quick and intellegent thinker. People like you because you are a bi-sexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer: June 21-July 22 You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

Leo: July 23-Aug. 22 You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 22 You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra: Sept. 23-Oct. 21 You are the artisic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal diseases.

Scorpio: Oct. 22-Nov. 21 The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethnics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec. 19 You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarian. You are a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn: Dec. 20-Jan. 19 You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Drink my Blood

Subject:	ok i'm illegal for movie parts and director lol
Time:	12:02 am.
Mood:	accomplished.
Music:	Coal Chamber - Big Truck.

If you want to put this result in your Livejournal (or whatever), paste the following into a post:

BANNED

You're illegal in most developed countries, and your
possession is punishable by death in at least 5.

"Which Movie Classification Are You?"
Test created by Jamie - take it here.

NC-17

Woah, dude, too far. You're totally unsuitable
for anybody under the age of 17, and for society
in general. Tough break...

"Which Movie Classification Are You?"
Test created by Jamie - take it here.

Drink my Blood

Subject:	I HATE IT ALL SOMEDAYS
Time:	9:34 pm.
Mood:	sad.
Music:	TYPE O NEGATIVE - GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT.

Well I?ve got no more reason to live
And I?ve got no more love to give
Tonight?s the night I?ll paint the town red
I?ll put another hole through my head
Unjustifiable existence
Now I feel the weight of a world on my back
I?ve seen the future
The future looks black
It?s what I must do
I have no reservations
Ain?t talking ?bout
Self preservation
Unjustifiable existence
Gravity crushing me
Gravity crushing me
I?ve got a problem
A problem with hate
I can?t go on
Dragging this weight
A cold steel hand that won?t let go
Acid ?filled thoughts
Out of control
I built myself a nice little cage
With bars of anger and a lock of rage
I can?t help asking who?s got the key?
When I know damned well
It?s me
No I ain?t hinting for sympathy
I?m used to dealing with apathy
The scars on my wrists may seem like a crime
Just wish me better luck next time
So what if I died a thousand deaths
You think I?m insane but I have no regrets
One more time won?t matter no question
Suicide is self expression

my outlook except for my true friends i almost hate everything somedays and it hurts i'm so fucking sad i cannot think straight i wanna die i feel like dying but i'm not that weak still irt sucks i just feel so sad .. grrr motherfucker!!!!!! and angry i have my reason cause some people can be fucking stupid and hurt me inways that should not be allowed but godamnit i will have my vengance in karmic back lash i hope towards them all i say is thanks to my real friends you know who you are

2 Fucked my Soul| Drink my Blood

LiveJournal for Mephisto Shadows.

View:	User Info.
View:	Friends.
View:	Calendar.
View:	Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.