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Saturday, June 30th, 2001
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6:43 am - HEAT INDEX 101 EXPECTED!
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I became nostalgic for the days when I could drive to a stream and slip into some deep clear pool where years of erosion and floods had made a small cover where you could float all day looking up at the trees, listening to robins and the water rushing through rocks. I wonder if I could go swim in the fountain in Central Park, hehe would I be arrested?
I can taste the smell of Hyacinths.
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| Thursday, June 28th, 2001
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10:35 am
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current mood: frayed
current music: lost highway "track five"
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
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11:43 am - 80's
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I had a dream last night where I was interviewing the very first VJ on MTV. We were talking about all the other VJ’s during that first year that MTV made its depute. It was quiet fun as in the dream we got to hear all the really great 80’s bands and some not so great. Ahh some where in my mind the memory of my Grandmothers home which had this new thing called cable tv during the summer watching MTV for the first time and hearing songs and great videos like “Our Loves in Jeopardy”, Howard Jones, Thompson Twins, ahhh dance hall days. What fun music.
The VJ ended the interview with “well you know we got to plug this station as much as we can it is cable after all and not many people know of us. I asked him if he knew the VJ who wore a wig, as I could not rember his name. Does anyone remember he hosted 120 min. And in an interview with Johnny Rotten Johnny tried to pull his wig off hehe. Or does any one remember the Head Bangers Ball hehehe!!
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2001
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7:05 am - how much? your dna and a hand full of morals
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The first stages of designing a new web page. I should be quiet happy I this side job considering all the unemployed dot comers out there. But I am bored silly! I have the colour scheme set and the markers made but ughh I don't wanna start, would rather be reading or finding music.
How much of us is culturally conditioned and how much is what we have made ourselves.? How much does culture, our parents, society, institutions, sub culture , grass roots condition us to think, feel, respond? Where does the I begin and the Culture western thought end? Is there a difference, can one be the other alone or is it inseparable, and is there an I in the womb. Is our personality created from embryonic fluid or does it come from our teenager years where we are bombarded by so much and pick and choose as we go along? Throughout life even. Our is this a silly attempt yet again to create a duality a binary opposite where one may not even exist, or should not. Maybe it is a collaboration project between dna, society and culture, and consciousness and choice.
current mood: flusterd
current music: Sorrows End "Blackend Dreams"
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| Friday, June 22nd, 2001
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12:41 pm
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| Thursday, June 21st, 2001
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8:44 am - Jaques Ferrand
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A young girl, heart broken beyond repair, shattered and suffering the most ardent heart sickness. Instead of the freedom that Goethe young werther would take she herself can not do so. For her she wishes not to commit the act of taking ones life in the name of love, no tragic ending for her. Though her sadness keeps her from living in the world fully, separated from the ever day by a wall of sadness that neither can be dispelled nor even located. It is a bottle lost at sea, a note with no signature and no shores to wash upon, no eyes to read its faded ink. The language lacks for a proper mourning. She yearns for the sun and finds her will for happiness blunted and shattered by this unhappy mute sadness. Her heart sickness must eat its way through and through, in this how would one escape.
current mood: reflective
current music: Coil, "Solar Lodge"
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8:33 am
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I should receive my freedom as one gains a pay check at the end of the week.
It is now become the weekend where one can set them selves free to do what ever pleases where as the week can be so tiring. The end of the day that you wish to do nothing but sleep, or maybe just relax and listen to music or smell the fresh cut grass. Though again this has been a tiring week thus far.
I was looking through images on Ag stock photography web page. All these lovely images of autumn in Mass and Vermont. Oh how truly beautiful autumn is!! Maybe this year I can find a place to enjoy the tapping of maple trees and the boiling to bring the sap to maple syrup.
current mood: addicted
current music: Darkwood "Posten Vor Tag
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| Monday, June 18th, 2001
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11:26 am
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"A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing, or from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction. When the service is performed, he will raise his hat, bow and pass on."
"A gentleman must help a lady whom he has escorted to the table, to all she wishes; but it is improper for him to offer to help other ladies who have escorts "
Victorian Manners
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11:04 am - lost
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I can not for the life of me seem to find these books. When I do find them they are out of print or no longer excist. I'm going to cry where is J and her academic looking glass to help me find these?
Symphorien Champier
"Ship of Princes and Battles of Nobility"
"Ship of Virtuous Ladies"
"Ship of Health"
current mood: poliferated
current music: a fan
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8:21 am - feeling my mind come out of the haze
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Quitting smoking is beginning to have its benefits and high points. I was able to walk by the private garden on Houston and actually smell the powerful aromas coming from all the flowers vines and cedar wood chips along the walkways. Much better then the smells that begin to bake and steam in this city.
Victorian Ladies would spray their fans with rose or lavender oil to combat the horrid smells that can greet one in any city street during the summer. Once confronted with an unpleasant smell all one needed to do was to wave their fan cooling them selves off and wafting a wonderful aroma around them selves.
Speaking of that how would a gentleman wear the clothing that is expected of a gentleman in the heat of the summer months. I was thinking of that today as I know am wearing mainly the summer digs hehe, easy lightweight clothing. I'm not sure hmm?
current mood: hot
current music: Delerium
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| Monday, June 11th, 2001
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1:57 pm
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nothing like having a collapsed lung and a tube placed witin your first and second rip into your chest cavity for three days to make you think of all the positive apspects of smoking! My goodness how hard even after this event is now over it is to try and stay on board with my choice to quit!!
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| Wednesday, May 30th, 2001
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9:48 pm - arrrrrrgravation / did i mention i hate aol.
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it seems that I have the touch of death of late with any computer I approach! First it was the scanner at work, then the slide scanner with the other computer, and now my very own is puttering along sending up error messages on the third second of every five!
Enough of that. S today was talking about how it is rumored that a photographers career and success last for seven years then ends. That the photographer will produce his or her best work for seven years and then an abrupt stop. As I am perceptible to these generalizations of late I felt my heart sink a little, wondering if this could be true. So I've been thinking about this for quiet some time now and I must say it is outrageously faulty in its logic, well it is not even logic based more on a whimsical farce! What this would mean is that we all have a peak in our life's. That no matter what we do that for certain amount of time we are going to be the best that we can be and no more after that. Or does this apply to painters or other artist? Why do you not hear this theory applied to a painter or a musician? My worst fear in life is that I shall stop growing and learning, that I will become stagnant and unmovable. Someone shot me if this ever happens, a living death with be a most appropriate metaphor for this fear!
current mood: annoyed
current music: Swans "I am the Sun"
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| Sunday, May 27th, 2001
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1:05 am - awfully quiet!!
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Here it is a Saturday night and the house is quiet yet all are home. Now that I am paying attention to such details and my surroundings the neighborhood is quiet to! Odd. Usually there should be the Toms in the alley way meowing for there nightly ruse, people shouting and loud bass from the bar down the street, the sounds of sirens coming from below the cliff on St.Nich. But none of these noises tonight, all quiet in an eerie sort of way. I guess that we become so used to some things that when they are no longer present it shakes us a little, hmm the word shake is most lacking for a description of this. It is true that those with the means leave the city of the weekend of Memorial Day. I guess this is it, but would that explain why both my roommates are in bed asleep at such an hour. Should I be this involved in there sleep schedules I don't think so. But none the less I stand in the hall in the pitch dark looking for some answer and here I have it. Quiet!
current mood: concerned
current music: white noise
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| Sunday, May 20th, 2001
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6:37 pm - blind!!!
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So after shooting three rolls of film, processing and seeing this blurry effect on all my film I decided to take my camera to Nippon. So the camera guy, cant rember his name, said that my lens element was lose. It was more inexpensive to buy a new camera so I purchased a Yashica G. hehe happy I went to go shoot this weekend, some really great ideas and inquireies. Well I processed the film and again blurry?? So my boss asked me when the last time was that I got my eyes checked? Well to make a long story short yes Im going blind, losing my sight, well I am getting older right!! So I get to go and order my glasses in another week, when I shall be able to afford the frames I would like. something along the spectecles of 19th century I hope! Hmm to many hours looking at a monitor took its toll.
current mood: contemplative
current music: Nick Cave "Loverman"
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6:16 pm
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| Thursday, May 17th, 2001
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11:33 pm - Im not one to claim moral ground but I can smell Hypocrisy!
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Medical studies and theory from the 1300 is so fascinating! The many ideas and thoughts that they held to be close to the truth.
The last thing that I really wanted to know about this cities mayor was that he was impotent. I mean I guess I would feel sympathy for him but why does he feel the need to talk about it in a press conference dedicated soley to this sickness. Is this not a personal matter. Or is this the stirrings of the public private lines blurring?
Though the new "Decency Panel" Gulianni's baby so that we the cities citizen my not be bombarded or fund art that might be considered dangerous or lude or disruptive or insultive to the general public. Everyone seemed to complain and moan about this but some how it went through and passed approval. So now the Mayor is the one who gets to pick who is on this panel, and believe it or not it is mainly religious figures, priest, Rabies, and Muslim! Who is going to be the next big hit, the next focus of this new group, their first victim?
Yet while he spins rhetoric on what is decent and what is not he himself is in the news today for cheating on his wife, taking his lover to the Mayors house were he was caught by his wife who reported this to the media! Now in retaliation he used his impotency press conf. to announce that he was divorcing his wife, she had no clue about this, he told the media before her. Hmmm I must admit I am glad he is not up for re election this year. Hopefully the new mayor will remove the new panel.
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10:19 pm
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| Monday, May 14th, 2001
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11:00 pm
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A grand monday. Someone egged the studio over the weekend, so for the better part of the mourning I had the lovely pleasure of scrubbing rotten egg off the doors and glass. There are few smells that cause me to feel extremely nauseated and rotten egg is one of them!! I could not get the smell of my hands for the whole day and still every now and then I can catch the wift of its pungent aroma!!
I thought egging was a red neck thing to do so why in the hell would kids in this city find throwing eggs enjoyable. There are such wider varieties of vandalism and trickery that one could do here, but egging, not very original.
I recalled the story of the gold paint that was thrown through a gallery window in the early 80's. Some one, a rumored artist mad at a dealer and his gallery, smashed in the front window and splattered gold paint all over the gallery floors and walls, leaving the work on the wall untouched, out of respect! It was suppose to be a "performance" piece but for the life of me can not remember the name of the gallery or the rumored artist?
current mood: apathetic
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| Thursday, May 10th, 2001
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11:17 pm
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one more time with a blue egg swirls and located securely in my front pocket.
It is most definitely spring out. Watching all the people swinging their necks this way and that to look at each other. Smiles for everyone.
Today I saw the most captivating thing. As I was walking along my way to lunch, shading my eyes for it was that time of day were the sun reflects off everything, these small three steps made of iron! They led to the top of an old loading dock also made of iron or plated steal with the little star patterns in them. It was so neat, these small stairs that really were futile unless this was made for really small short people.
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10:59 pm
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And with that the summer broke! The heat is coming, I'm finding it so difficult to deal with such a drastic change. One day a coat and sweater needed, the next greeted by a blazing sun and the smell of warm pavement. It is not so much the heat right now as it is the sudden change that is effecting me. As if their is some primordial cell located in our brains which reacts to drastic changes in temperature. This would be the perfect weather to go play on a swing set or sit in the shade and read or just lie down, feeling the sun warm your skin and the unique smell of sunshine, and budding trees. Though avidly wishing for a grey bluish day to come this way!!
I'm hoping to be able to go see the Blake exhibit at the Met this weekend, and dive into the catalogue of Stanley Spencer's retrospective. To just sit for a few hours by the window and visually devour the colour plates.
current mood: sorgia
current music: New Order....
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