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User:	aratuk (440303)
Name:	ian
Email:	aratuk @ hotmail.com
AOL IM:	aratuk (Add Buddy, Send Message)
Bio:	unbounded and undignified words intercepted by ten fingers on their way to the larynx; i shed the mire, slough my slough: stacks of undone but still looked at hopefully. where it's all going. consequences. the glass expands. real or imagined memory. and three spiders today; one almost invisible; still a bad omen? what in my ethnicity would cause me to believe in omens? scottish, maybe, probably not. italian, good possibility. greek, nope. german, ha. not english either. i was pulled out with forceps. does that mean i can kill macbeth? i certainly hope so. if you wear tweed i can have the camel's hair which is good because i'm growing a hump. breaking down just to words now. usually i have someone in mind who should be reading when i write or express in some other way but this time i don't. 3d room planner to let you build the house of your dreams and even order the blueprints if you need something more palpable to dream about but can never have. soy means both i am in spanish and a bean. soy soy. i am a bean. a gag. more if you have plaid tweed in the duncan style. the girl who has an attache on wheels that light up when she walks to her car after class, at night. words should not have an awareness of themselves, most of the time, but some people can pull it off. i can't. fruity word games. the derivative stuff that makes my skin crawl written in everybody's notebooks, including mine. they don't know i can read it but i have very good vision, over their shoulders. never forget to include yourself in your generalizations. bare feet break easily; the world tries so hard to puncture. all at once or one at a time? i always say one at a time because i'm cautious. it's in my blood. probably the english part. i'm self-centered but i don't really have a choice as my life consists of little other than myself and it's always been that way, even when i played for the pelicans. still remember throwing the bat at rusty. his hands went out. overexcitedness has always been what's ended up killing me in every social episode. i can't remember when i got here. want to say it's a transit station. don't know why. the implication of leaving, going somewhere else. wishful thinking. or no meaning at all below the chemical smell of a transit station, which i enjoy. not too up right now. i wonder how great the greatest portion of a mind expressed and made understood to at least one other was. that's a contest i'll certainly never win, but i'll die trying, as everyone does. forty percent? sixty? far too much? far too little? how much can one even express to oneself? some more than others, mostly vagaries, not even words. maybe my memory is poor because what i forget can be replaced with things that are much better than what was originally there. perception is the only thing that qualifies memories, though. mundane things can be remembered wonderfully and horrible things can be viewed as sad but no longer relevant, and the exceptional things are nirvana. in effect, a system of optimized perception is no different in terms of quality to the individual than a system of optimized memory. but i am so stubborn about changing my point of view that i would sooner try to change (or remove) my memory instead. perhaps because i'm male. this is said now because i have noticed similar deep-rooted insecurities about accepting alternate viewpoints in other males, not all, but definitely moreso than in females. not that women are more objective necessarily, but they seem to not be as worried about the semantics of a situation. to them, often more important to see what's ahead than to worry about now or before. of course, if this is true, it is far more likely due to acceptance of a societal role than to genetic law. so i uphold perception over memory because i have accepted the externally-defined role of male, at least to that extent. maybe i'm just ascribing the whole idea to the question of sex to make it easier for me to understand in the short-term. always good about removing the crutches, though. but i've been distracted! overloaded. new train of thought. according to kurt vonnegut, semicolons are "transexual hermaphrodites," and i agree, but i use them anyway. i consider, but am not outspoken. reflect but abstain from hasty judgement. there is haste in nearly all judgement. neither time nor inclination fer frequent updates. narcissism
Interests:	afrin, american beauty, amiri baraka, anthropology, architecture, art of war, autumn, beck, ben folds five, billy collins, bob dylan, book stores, brazil, cake, calvin and hobbes, camper van beethoven, cardboard boxes, carl sandburg, cat stevens, catatonia, charles dodgeson, chinese statuary, coffee, comfortable shoes, courduroy pants, curry, danny elfman, david bowie, david lynch, day in the life, denial, desk lamps, disembodied poetics, douglas adams, drafting desks, drawing to stop twitching, driving at night, drum machines, edward gorey, elvis costello, enchiladas, ernest hemingway, feng shui, fireplaces, fraggle rock, franz schubert, ginsberg, gomez, good magazines, green eggs and ham, guitar, guy ritchie, harold and maude, heavy scissors, her wallpaper reverie, hip-hop tap dancing, humanistic satire at large, hunter s. thompson, indie record stores, irvine welsh, jean-louis lebris de kerouac, john waters, junk stores, kayaking, kilometer zero, laurie anderson, left hand of darkness, linux, lou reed, magnetic fields, math, migration, momus, old concrete beach roads, orangetwin, orangina, paddington bear, paint-swirl animation, pepper on most foods, photography, public radio, radiohead, rain smell, ray bradbury, retro-kitsch, roald dahl, rockclimbing, rushmore, shel silverstein, sid vicious, social distortion, socialism, socks, solitude, spiders, spray-paint stenciling, stanley kubrick, stereolab, swimming, syd barret, synthesizer synthesizer, t.s. eliot, tarantino, tempura bananas, tenenbaums, terry gilliam, the beatles, the beta band, the lillingtons, the lorax, the marx brothers, the pixies, the velvet underground, the violent femmes, the zombies, thrift stores, twelve monkeys, very long conversations, vespas with mods, vonnegut, waking up slowly, william s. burroughs, winter, wool, words, writing down dreams, www.thesun.org, yogurt, zines
Friends:	7: bob, dirtt, fernypants, punkskittles, ricefactor, roxymonoxide, rplowman
Account type:	Free User