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Is It Fall Yet? [22 Mar 2002|03:21pm] [ mood | dariadariadaria ] I wish I had a freakin' friend... haha :) slash Z

oh well, once in a while [22 Mar 2002|01:14pm] I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You? mmm.. love bread dipped with olive oil... thinks Italian Italian!!!*hungry* if i wasn't mouldy, doldy bread, i'd be yummyscrumptious vanilla which is just as delish... 2 Zs| slash Z

Updates. [22 Mar 2002|11:43am] Next week is hell. Have so many assignments due. 2 projects, 2 essays. Today, I missed my test because I woke up late! Argh! Didn't hear any alarm, my self just auto-walked to switch it off and I have no recollection whatsoever that I switched my alarm off! Argh! Stupid! Missed macaroni breakfast day! Stupid nincompoopyoulazyrobotalarmofferyourhead!!! This evening I'll be earning my keep in Eusoff by helping out Aunty Yap during dinner time... so please, no teasing, just smiles ;) haha. 5 Zs| slash Z

One-liners 3 [21 Mar 2002|11:01pm] Slept like a talking log. No Italian date damnit! Silent plea understood. Sisterly bonding time. No weekly vanilla latte? Last Italian lecture sigh. Blurry overdue run. Kirs, see Zah run! Past the Daria plague phase. Now have Daria withdrawal symptoms. Roomie blues. Meeting. A tale told by an eejit. That's me. Learning, fumbling, everyday. 6 Zs| slash Z

[20 Mar 2002|11:40pm] [ mood | tired ] Just came back from selling charity tickets at Boat Quay. Shoulders aching but had a good time with Ying Hong. Sold 27 tickets in total with her.. hah :) Conclusion: couples good. foreigners bad. single people always in a hurry. and sometimes the ocassional kind soul(s) just approaches you and buys 5 tickets at one go(!) :) Boat Quay sure brought back memories. 1 Z| slash Z

little is vast(ly beautiful) [19 Mar 2002|09:15pm] little hands that link you to this world, reach in you to reveal your fragility and beauty. need little hands, little gestures, little hopes, dreams, little quiet stars to fill up the crushing space of this universe. wish we had more starry skies so we could trace out our lives in connect-the-dots simplicity and innocence. solitude back-fires sometimes. in other things: - a beautiful mind, russell crowe, jennifer connelly... *awe* - reality calls for a presentation. bah. 1 Z| slash Z

Weather forecast [18 Mar 2002|02:33pm] [ music | Sting - Until ] Ah yup... you can count on me to tell you happily that "It is gonna rain." Manna. :) Lovely start to the week. Sting singing with the rain... slash Z

ARGH. [17 Mar 2002|07:30pm] [ mood | murderous ] some fucking imbecilic low-life ... hideous beast just STOLE my handphone. *fume**kill**anguish**despair**rage**stamps feet**whine**scrunges up eyebrows**pout**fume* it's not so much I was dependent on it. it's the thought that a possession of mine got stolen. Thinking nasty thoughts and curses... but I can't think nasty enough. so I'm uncontactable now for a few days till I hook up my line again. Lost a whole address book of numbers... sigh. it's just the thought that gets me. ergh. 14 Zs| slash Z

These angel eyes... [16 Mar 2002|06:58pm] [ music | Sting - Fields of Gold ] I think I could marry a voice like Sting's... :) ---- Going out with him finally. Just give him a chance. Mumsie thinks too far ahead. I'm thinking possible friend.... she's thinking future husband! *amused* Threw me statistical prejudiced views... haha *wry smile* Well... if it proves disastrous... at least I'm catching a movie I've been wanting to watch... Heh. Cheerio! 1 Z| slash Z

Ignorance and inexperience [16 Mar 2002|06:22pm] Turns out Tok Jalil is actually the Iskandar Jalil who is a national treasure... Mumsie was screaming over the phone that I should have told her earlier... then she would have wanted to join the class... am thinking maybe it would have been better if I remained ignorant about his fame as a potter? He is truly wise. The term accorded to people who are well-travelled, knowledgeable and with the long years of experience to boot. I'm just a small fry swimming beside the blue whale in these matters. Want to remain under his tutelage. But my course is fast reaching its end. Massive admiration and respect, awed by the years of learning before me. Humbled by this blessing. slash Z

Weird dream. [15 Mar 2002|08:57am] [ mood | *cringe* ] Woke up today with a sheepish smile on my face. Apparently... I had just sleep-talked myself to awakefulness... under the puzzled gaze of roomie who was peering down at me in my full sleep-talking splendour. Always knew I could not perform with an obvious audience. Now, with macaroni breakfast in my tummy, my face still heats up with embarrassment, and my mouth archs into an amused smile, thinking about what I was about to say to my sister in the dream... Ha... not a bad way to start the day with a smile on your face. :) Still laughing inside while the contents of the dream are fast slipping away into the deep recesses of my mind... 2 Zs| slash Z

How timely. [15 Mar 2002|12:53am] [ music | Sting - Moonlight ] It's irritating that all the offers for trips come flooding in now. There's that PSC Outward Bound Slovakia course which is fully subsidised: 18 Day Slovakia Outward Bound Course (Max 15 participants) 16 June to 5 July This course will involve Adventure Learning and Cultural Experiences. Participants will be involved in a variety of challenges that include outdoor adventures such as rock climbing, abseiling, caving and white water rafting. There will also be cultural activities to places of interest and public institutions that will provide you with a chance to interact with the locals and learn about their culture and lifestyle. And all those x-trekkers back-packing trips. Sighs. I'm taken already. Hah. Chances, chances... flying by. slash Z

One-liners 2 [14 Mar 2002|08:16pm] Pseudo-pringles night. Gleeful(?) lecture miss again. Italian date eyes. Lunch-time chit-chat. Daria Ten minutes before rain. Italian lecture snooze. Need caffeine fix. Large vanilla latte :). Dinner-time chit-chat. Alone in room. Weekend coming. Few weeks left before... Exams, goodbyes, EHOC, holidays. Full of sound and fury. 2 Zs| slash Z

Buffy [13 Mar 2002|12:10am] *sob* God, she's so good. They're so good! My heart's in a permanent twist, wrenched in tangles. I missed the Angel part. Gah! (Update: I MISSED THE ANGEL PART! ARGH!) Sigh. I really should find a fellow Buffy fan and gush... Does nobody understand what I'm going through!!! Heh :) (Update: WHOOPEEDOOYAY for sister! gushathon!) 3 Zs| slash Z

[12 Mar 2002|09:47pm] [ mood | worried ] Mind jumbled up with so many things. Cluttered. Chatted with Jun on ICQ. She may not be studying in Australia after all. And come NUS. Hmmm... we'll see. I feel the heavy tug of an anchor pulling me towards some turmoil in the cores of my heart. Hate the feeling of knowing yet unable to help in some tangible way. slash Z

I love Calvin and Hobbes!!!! [11 Mar 2002|10:15pm] You are Hobbes! You're a bit too mellow to be an incarnation of Calvin, but you're still his best pal. You don't mind having fun, though, and enjoy playing tricks on your friends when they least expect it. Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com! yeah! Just had to take this quiz... I would love to have a pal like Hobbes...! :D slash Z

[11 Mar 2002|08:25pm] [ mood | dull ] Alright. Daria season 1 and 2 done. Love it already. Wish I had a sister like Daria and Jane mixed together. An older sister I mean. My younger sister is just fine thank you very much... in case my younger sister might take it that I mean I want another sister. Older sister yes... younger sister great. My life having a lack of sibling authority and advice... which can be a good thing too. Heh. Contemplating whether I should watch all the seasons and be done with it before the exams come or (keeping in mind that my self-control is invincible) wait till after exams... hmmm. Went for Alegria yesterday. Magical. I swear I could hear a voice beckoning me to "Run away Zahra... run away and join the circus!" I want to do the trampoline act or the flying man act... wheee... or be a natural klutz. Have a talent for that... heh. Is it just me... or were the clowns heart-breaking to watch? (Oh yes, note to self: when you get a house, remember to have the whirly circle of birds in the living room... or bedroom... just somewhere! And oh.. look out for those cinderella ball lamps.) Been feeling stuck in limbo nowadays. Inaction for want of action. Substance to fill the void. Extremes to cut reality. Feel stifled where I'm at. Stifled with stupidity, mediocrity, superciality. I feel dulled and grayed to a state of non-existence. 6 Zs| slash Z

[10 Mar 2002|07:54am] I've been so used to drinking HL milk that fresh milk tastes too strong now. Feel a little queasy after downing 500 ml of milk. Anyway am up so early because I still have an essay to rush before I go out with family tonight. And thanks to Bryan, Daria is seriously addictive. She reminds me of Haslina. Not as cynical though. Maybe my brother is like Trent... maybe. Just rambling on a Sunday morning. Early morning. Very. 1 Z| slash Z

Potty [09 Mar 2002|06:21pm] Went for pottery classes today. Collected the glazed pieces we did last week. Very pretty. *beam* Tok Jalil (he's such a naggy, endearing grandfatherly figure)taught us wedging and throwing... gah, all these pottery terms. Not easy work. But incredibly sensuous and relaxing. "Throwing is all about feeling." While parting, he said that I had a little of a gift or maybe it's just beginner's luck... mmm, *smiles inside* I hope so. Though I think he forgot that he helped me out a little, that's why the pieces came out real nice. But still, won't deny myself the pleasure of his compliment. *beams* Have another essay due. To work I go. slash Z

Quizzles [08 Mar 2002|02:30pm] I got Alfred Lord Tennyson as well. But I think these two poets appeal to how I am as a person now. Take the Which Poet are You? Quiz Take the Which Poet are You? Quiz ___________________________________ Jane is cynical, intelligent, and talented (she is a budding artist). Like any good artist, Jane constantly explores the passionate and emotional side of the world. She believes paint-by-number kits are inherently evil. Well well well. *grin* slash Z

One-liners [07 Mar 2002|11:56pm] [ mood | helpless ] Sleepless momentous night. Gleeful lecture miss. Italian date. Large vanilla latte. Italian accent woo. Library browsing smile. Meeting looking up. Shan sad singing. Guitar heart strings strumming. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow... slash Z

[06 Mar 2002|03:37am] on a lighter note. 1)big, huge thanks to bryan for tv. very grateful. heh. sorry for imposing and intruding so suddenly. :) 2)i kipnapped the queen! hah... 3)shan's friend got locked out of her room by her sleep-like-a-dead-log roomie. so she's sleeping in our room now. :) three in a room. sleeping bag courtesy of dearest dee. now you all go finish your essays! and get well! and stay well. night. slash Z

what's real [06 Mar 2002|02:23am] [ mood | thinking too much ] Buffy's mum died. If it's anything, I feel terribly saddened. And when I think about it. I wonder why. It was a quiet episode. The characters said their lines. No music to move you. Just action, words, tears, silence. Detachment that only served to reach in you and give an inextricable wrench of the heart. Twas sad. Sadder when I realised I was tearing over someone who was not real. Yet. So real to me. the events, memories are blurring. can't remember who informed me. my aunt. a tear-streaked sister? but i remember my reaction. calm. not one spontaneous tear welled forth in the cold hard eye, dry in the face of tragedy. similar reactions to real life events. envy those who could cry at will. while i stood there, unable to partake in the experience because i lacked the tears to affirm my sadness. why is it that i cry so easily over what's not real? the thought has crossed my mind again and again. how would i react if my loved one passed away suddenly? mum. dad... are my tears contrived? strangely i crave for a day when my tears will flow freely. without inhibition. without restriction. perhaps a reflection of the life i've led. perhaps with my desert-dry condition, it would be apt to say my heart cries. like a boulder that seems impervious to stormy weather while drops of water eat through a crack to its core... sleep zahra sleep. think not such. slash Z

[05 Mar 2002|12:38am] the words won't come. the words i want flowing forth won't come. the immense inertia of getting the first paragraph written, the tediousness of linking a coherent argument. shoulders aching, eyes weary from cramming seven chapters worth of words the whole afternoon. i wish my vocabulary wouldn't fail me like this... if it ever existed. outward calm. inward frustration at my clumsy grasp of expression. till morning i toil. 5 Zs| slash Z

[04 Mar 2002|04:17pm] [ mood | panicked ] aiee. imbecile ass that i am. i just realised that my history term paper is due today at 5 pm and not next mon! argh. pissed with me i am. 3 Zs| slash Z

[03 Mar 2002|03:48am] sitting here, being eaten alive by a rampage of blood-thirsty mosquitoes. and why? because am in a cramped up situation that denies me restful painless sleep. yow. whimper. i don't relish the thought of moving to the holiday blocks. i figure once i move i'll prolly stay where i am. ugh. so much lovely junk in my room. sleepy. annushkha posted photos of the dive trip. makes me wanna go somewhere. anywhere. and makes me want to get that camera i've been so wanting to get. so many worthy photo-moments flitted by with the blink of an eye. it's just so hard to find a camera in this house. short wish list: - camera... digital would be a added plus but wouldn't mind the traditional cams - bicycle... - gaming computer. is it sunday already? no, you're kidding. sigh. slash Z

[02 Mar 2002|06:33pm] solved the mystery of my weird moods. monthly affliction of pain. grr. slash Z

blackboard chalkings by fart zimpson [01 Mar 2002|09:06pm] [ mood | yahhhhhhh ] i will not moniter the monitor i will not moniter the monitor i will not monitor the moniter i will not monitorre the monitoree i will not monitaurus the monisaurus... *see no evil you lousy weevil* i will not touch the keyboard after this i will not touch the keyboard after this i will not touche the keyboard after eh this? i will not torch the keyboard after this... *burn fingers burn!* yehahahaha... you cannot forbid me you lousy piece of paper! *drapes black around computer compulsively* hark! i hear thunder? save me from me! 8 Zs| slash Z

[01 Mar 2002|02:38am] oh and one more thing. I'm really interested/want to get to know this LJ guy. He's almost everything I would like to know/have in a guy. And almost's good enough. :) okbyegottago. *plasters paper back on monitor firmly* 9 Zs| slash Z

whoopeedoodah [01 Mar 2002|02:06am] [ mood | crappy ] There I've gone and done it: Abstained from updating my LJ for... *counts*... four days! Which means in other words... Nothing. Nothing happened. I mean something(s) happened like I spent some time with Mumsie, I had the longest break ever from hall since the beginning of this year, went out with party of four, ate delish foodies: haagen dasz vanilla and strawberry and salmon sashimi *yum*, my sister's neopet account got hacked into, I did a little reading, came back to hall just in time to miss my roomie, wrote a poem of indulgence, went to the central library, read finish billy elliot, listened to some Jewel... In a nutshell. Boring stuff. ----------------------- I did some people-watching... or should I say people-observing yesterday. Because I finally decided to take heed of my mumsie's constant nagging about me being not observant enough. And I decided to look around boldly for once instead of minding my own business by looking at my feet, looking at scenery, or at the sky.. but looking at people around me. Well, not too much though, didn't want to stare. Saw a girl with dred-locks... mmm... maybe I'll do that next time... and a couple of roaring harley davidsons enthus... Other than that, people-observing wasn't interesting.. or prolly I wasn't looking hard enough... or romanticising the situation enough, making up stories as I poked my eyes about. Stay tuned. ----------------------------- New month here. The magical month of twos is gone - 020202, 200202, 220202. Month of a lot of birthdays. So far the year has been good I say. No back-log emotional baggage from relationships, been growing a little, realising things about myself, albeit late, and on the way to learning, picking up new things. Am regretting that I didn't go for the dive trip. Yep, that's life for me. ah. What's my life without regrets? You tell me. I fear my brother is gonna become another Pak Busu. *shudder* Have/(had) a piece of paper plastered across my monitor forbidding me to use my computer till Saturday. Hah. Gonna put it back on. Mug! Catch up! Be good! The holiday is slipping by so fast! 4 Zs| slash Z

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