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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Dizzy Davey's LiveJournal:
| Thursday, November 15th, 2001 | |||
| 12:13 am | Angel and Demon I'm both good and evil. A human paradox. It's only a matter of time before I will have to choose just one side. What side will I choose? I don't believe in destiny. I don't believe I'm predestined to be either good or evil. I feel that a choice has to be made between the two sometime in ones life. Sometimes evil feels so good... But I'd rather be good. Current Music: The Smooths - Farewell | ||
| Wednesday, November 14th, 2001 | |||
| 8:12 pm | I got a correspondence email today... a 'mailback' as I call them now. Phonecalls are called 'callbacks'. When I get neither I call them simply 'assfucks'. I have transcended the realm of IT and Telecomm, and I started applying for marketing jobs, and finance jobs, wherever there are entry level positions, and I pass them off as if I'm considering a new career. Anything would be good right now. The next few days are going to be crazy. On a lighter note, Aimee (my sister) called me to see if I wanted to go see Harry Potter on Friday because she's picking up advance tickets. I said sure, why not. I have two days to read the book. She says if I start reading tonight, I should be done by friday night. Brian told me he finished three books in less than a week. For a guy who finished Stephen King's The Stand in less than 4 days, this shouldn't be a difficult feat, especially with the amount of time people told me I'd be able to read it. Brian told me I'd probably finish it in 6 hours. Doubtful. It's about time I spend time with my sister. I need to ask whether or not she still wants me to partner up with Keith in San Antonio with his business. I have to ask her about that later... Interesting facts: Part time shit jobs I applied for: 1. Best Buy: Yuck! I know that I said I'd never go back to that shithole. I have no choice. I need a job!!! 2. Starbucks: Hey, benefits for part timers? not bad at all! 3. Borders: I like books To do list: Thursday: 1. Go to Unemployment Office and FAX cover letters 2. Go to "How to write Cover Letters" seminar in Skokie 3. Pay bills 4. Search for more jobs 5. Call 'Karissa' back to set up an interview Friday: 1. Go to another seminar with Paul. 2. Finish reading Harry Potter 3. Search for more jobs 4. Go see Harry Potter (and new starwars trailer. ROCK!) Current Music: all - vida blue | ||
| Tuesday, November 13th, 2001 | |||
| 3:07 pm |
Here were my answers: 1) Did you pay for that Haircut? yes 2) Have ever sat down and wrote heart felt lyrics/poetry about love and heartbreak? yes 3) Do you still bawl when ever you read it? no 4) Straight-edge? no 5) Do you quote lyrics of a song rather than just say "bye?" no 6) Are you pierced? no 7) ...but only on the eyebrow? no 8) Do you wear glasses? y es 9) Thick black rims? yes 10) Do you really need them because you have poor eyesight? yes 11) Do you think New Found Glory is emo? no 12) Do you get beat up by real punks? no 13) Do you own more than one pair of Chuck Taylors'? no 14) Are you on a first name basis with the cashiers at the good-will store? no 15) Rivers Cuomo, genius? yes 16) Do you own more than 3 sweaters? no 17) Have you paid more $10 for any of them? no 18) Do any of them fit? yes 19) Would you be excited to take a new job because the dress code requires you to wear a tie every day? no 20) Own any The Juliana Theory albums? no 21) Have you ever given your heart away? yes 22) ...only to be smashed into the ground? yes 23) ...Have you accepted it and moved on? yes 24) Are you a spoiled and only child? no 25) Do you think stars are just like..so rad? no 26) Ever dye your hair black, blue or reddish-brown? no 27) Pins on your messenger bag? no 28) Been to a show and moshed? yes 29) Been to a show and cried? no 30) Like Dashboard Better than Further Seems Forever? no Current Music: the Stereo - Problems | ||
| Monday, November 12th, 2001 | |||
| 11:25 pm |  okay, i did a bit of an experiment. I kept pressing the back button, and submitting the quiz again and again without changing anything, and each time I got something different. here's what I got: Corey Feldman Vegan Buffalo Wings Krang Vegan Buffalo Wings Wesley Willis (ugh!) Wesley Willis Wesley Willis Scottish Warrior Corey Feldman Police Officer Sentient Mushroom The Thing Nice Sweater Megaman Sentient Mushroom Police Officer Vegan Buffalo Wings Guard Llama Krang Wesley Willis Krang Kimmy Gibbler Wesley Willis Vegan Buffalo Wings Chloe Sevigny | ||
| 10:54 pm | Someone removed themselves from Lj, and i can't figure out who it was... | ||
| 11:44 am | I don't understand why people are so surprised that I'm in a constant bad mood. Yes, I'm usually jovial and talkative, but lately this hasn't been the case. When I'm feeling down, I tend to keep to myself so as not to drag people into my quagmire. I can't help but feel upset 24/7. Maybe I'm not coping with my situation very well. I'm feeling extremely lazy today. I overslept by a few hours, and I couldn't get a jump on things, and now I'm feeling pretty worthless. I feel like the day is wasted. So much I should be doing. I don't even feel like taking a shower. I just don't know how much more there is for me to do in my situation. There's only so many job listings that I can respond to. There are so many tech contacts I can get hold of. Right now I feel like my option is to wait and see. Now comes my quest for extra income. Current Music: bis - Popstar Kills | ||
| 11:30 am | I found gray hairs. I haven't had grey hairs since Ashley pulled out my old ones, and that was almost a year ago. It's gotta be stress related... | ||
| Sunday, November 11th, 2001 | |||
| 3:01 am | I played shuffleboard for the first time ever today. It was exciting! I have a new game to play! I just found out today the music I listen to sucks, and makes peoples ears bleed. I'm unemployed, but there are guys with jobs wandering the streets asking for spare change. Perhaps I'm taking the wrong approach... I drank my last can of Dr Pepper. Tomorrow night I shall pick up a six pack of something different. I have found myself sitting out on the balcony late at night, staring into space. I really wish there wasn't so much light pollution in the city, then I could really see what's going on up there... I love electricity, though. Where would I be without it? Current Music: The Stereo - You Can't Go Home Again | ||
| Saturday, November 10th, 2001 | |||
| 2:18 am | I'm thinking of auctioning off some of my barrel men... I wonder how much I can get for it... probably not too much. Who in their right mind (Besides me and coutness other flips) would want to own a barrel man??? Current Music: The Smugglers - Rock Thy Neighbor | ||
| Friday, November 9th, 2001 | |||
| 12:43 pm | All the young punks Reading the Friday secdion of the Chicago Tribune, I was shocked to see the silouette of a punk with a mowhawk on the cover. The article was entitled 'All The Young Punks' and focused on the Fireside Bowl and under 21 punkers. I was kind of insulted by the headliner, because what do under 21 kids have to do with the fireside besides going there and smoking, and listening to bands, and playing in their shitty HC and emo bands. Kids OUR age BUILT the fireside. Maybe I'm being old and bitter. Maybe I don't really give a shit that the place will probably be torn down by the Chicago Park District. It's a piece of my childhood that really doesn't make much of a difference anymore, other than fond memories. I've grown up. I don't care what type of music people listen to (of course there are boundaries that I draw), and I'd rather listen to 'good music' rather than specialize in punk, hardcore, hip hop, emo, etc. I've become scene-apathetic. As long as there are good bands playing somewhere, I don't really care whether it's in a basement or at HOB. Cost becomes a factor, however. Sure, I'll be sad when the inevitable demise of the Fireside comes. I was sad when Lounge Ax was closed, even though I was 23, and I had only been frequenting the place for 2 years. But it was a great place to hang out. The reason it doesn't matter to me, though, is because the 'scene' has become diluted in Chicago. the kids have too much to live up to, and they are failing miserably. I feel sorry for the kids today, because the scene was so much better 8 years ago. I'm starting to sound like a bitter old man... I guess it all went to hell when Slapstick and 88 Fingers Louie broke up and formed emo bands... And Screeching Weasel broke up, probably for good this time. The Eclectics turned into a ska/northern soul band. Oh yeah! And Wesley Willis decided to get his ass off the street and into the hearts of 12 year olds. The Fireside never stunk as bad. Current Music: The Lillingtons - Final Transmission | ||
| 7:11 am | Last night I couldn't get to sleep because random images of unporportional boobs kept running through my mind. I knew this would give me nightmares... Thanks Christy. :P I'm a loser! I just added myself to my own Friends list. Not because I'm in need of more friends, but because I was experimenting to see what would happen. Now I'm too lazy to go and remove myself. Also the song Pray for the Girls by Frank Black kept running through my head. That's the song I can't tell was written about the Powerpuff Girls or not. One of these days i'll know the truth... Current Mood:  stressedCurrent Music: Frank Black - Freedom Rock | ||
| Thursday, November 8th, 2001 | |||
| 7:06 pm | I got my first unemployment check today... Time to pay some bills, kids!! YAYYYY! Tomorrow is yet another day, and another interview... Wish me luck!!! | ||
| 1:45 am | boredom MayaPapaya: geez what? ThisCat: tig bitties? MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: tig bitties MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: tig bittes? MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: tig bitties MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: tig bitties? MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: big titties MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: tig bitties? MayaPapaya: huh ThisCat: gib tiggies MayaPapaya: huh MayaPapaya: fuck them homos ThisCat: gig bibbies MayaPapaya: making fun of everyone ThisCat: bis gitties ThisCat: jiz triggies | ||
| Wednesday, November 7th, 2001 | |||
| 7:59 pm | Lumberg fucked her my interview went okay. I'm guessing I didn't sound like a complete idiot. I was able to answer all of their technical questions, alothough I waffled a few questions before I finally came up with a good answer. That was the only down point. I'm sure they were pleased with my answers, I got a couple of impressed 'oh!'s and nods. So I believe it's all a matter of all the other interviewees fucking up. I received another call today. I have anohter interview on friday with a consultant. I have to call Mazhar so he can coach me on how to get through this... I'm learning so much about making vaguities (is that even a word?) during interviews and exaggerating (not lying) on my resume. Like I said, sometimes truth must give way to exaggeration. Everybody does it, it's all a matter of who does it better, and with all those philosophy classes I took in college, it's not a big deal. This interview should be good... I think I'm going to pop Office Space in my DVD player to get me ready for re-insertion into the workforce. 'Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and come in on Saturday, that would be grreat.' I love that movie. Current Music: Metro Stylee - Evil Eyes | ||
| Tuesday, November 6th, 2001 | |||
| 11:39 pm | Wish me luck on my interview. I just realized how far over my head I am. I hope if this doesn't work out, I have other interviews to go to... | ||
| 2:59 pm | What to do! I've been working on career odds and ends since I woke up this morning. I overslept (11am) so I lost alot of time that I should be using to prepare for tomorrows interview with ICOMM. I'm exteremely nervous about this. Not only is it my first serious job interview in years, but the position I'm applying for is a little out of my skill set. I'm in the position where I know the technical concepts, it's just a matter of learning new software. I hope something comes out of this, because I really don't want to be wasting my time... I received an email from a tech recruiter an hour ago. I called back promptly and he told me he is submitting my resume to Motorrola for a 6 month contract position in the IT department. 6 months is fine, I told him. Personally, I can use what I can get... Now I'm debating whether I should leave the apartment in case someone calls me. I really need to get a haircut. I'm mulletizing. If you were a manager, would you want to hire a guy with a mullet? Admit it, you wouldn't want to. | ||
| 1:54 am | The other day I was bored and organized all my mp3's into folders for each band. My Bis folder was an experiment. I divided it into album folders. I came up with 4 full albums, but I have about 10 misplaced mp3's of which I cannot find. I don't know if they're singles, or if they actually belong on other albums. These are a few of my antics when I'm bored. When I was at denny's on Sunday studying and drinking coffee, I noticed a guy with a bright red mowhawk across the street at the Amoco station. On my yellopad, I wrote 'Arlington Heights Punks' to remind me of this at a later date when I need a laugh. I mean, not only was he a punk. He was an Arlington Heights punk. Arlington HEIGHTS! I moped into my parents house expecting to be given a 'talk' but it never happened. I promptly sat at the kitchen table and started reading my telecomm book*. My mom was in a foul mood, bitching about one thing or another. I think she may be an acute manic, but I'm not one to diagnose such ailments. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, its just that she sometimes has an attitude problem. Mazhar picked me up at about 8, and we got some coffee at Espresso Brewery**, and had a political discussion that lasted 2 hours. * its not MY telecomm book, i borrowed it from the library. The loan period is 2 weeks, and the book is about 1200 pages. ** The girl working at Espresso Brewery had this really thick Madlib book. I couldn't help but comment, and she was nice enough to read us one of her works of art. I can't remember exactly, but I believed she mentioned smacking a frog on the ass and it turning into a pimp. Or something. She handed me the book and a pen, but unfortunately we came for coffee not madlibs. I told her i'll come back tomorrow night, and order that mocha caramel drink that i couldn't even pronounce, and we can do one of her madlibs. Maybe she can get me a job there too... maybe. Current Mood:  worriedCurrent Music: Smugglers - Especially You | ||
| Monday, November 5th, 2001 | |||
| 12:50 pm | David Gange (DarthDavey); Thank you for becoming a member of Lucas Online's www.starwars.com. Your registration information has been successfully stored. Your registration allows you free access to any Lucas Online site: www.starwars.com; www.starwarskids.com; www.lucasarts.com; www.theseventhtower.com Current Music: Bis - Protection | ||
| Sunday, November 4th, 2001 | |||
| 6:28 pm |
Phew! Thank God! | ||
| 6:16 pm | My mom called me today to ask me where I am. She told me that she needs to sit down with me and talk to me because she thinks something is wrong... NO SHIT! I FUCKING LOST MY JOB! What do you expect me to do? Jump up and dance around like a fucking circus freak? Yes, I'm depressed. No, I don't really want to talk about that. Is that so abnormal??? I really don't want to talk to my parents about this. Every time I have a problem, it always turns into a lecture, as if I don't know what's going on, as if I'm too stupid to figure out that I'm FUCKED! Always a lecture. They can't just give a bit of guidance and let me go, they have to tighten their grip so I don't slip away. When I tell them I'm find dealing with this on my own, I get a guilt trip. "We're just trying to help you. You're being selfish. We are a family arent we?" I'm not being selfish. I'm being ME! I always just want to be alone. I want to deal with my own problems. Is there anything wrong with that??? The fact is, I'm afraid of what's happening. This is a new experience for me, and I'm fucking sick worrying about it. Frankly, I'm sick of worrying, sitting around all day wondering whether or not suicide should be an option. I'm sick of worrying about money. I'm sick of seeing people out their with their jobs, with practically nothing to worry about, but who's going to win the Bears game today. I want to be them. I want to be back where I was. One month ago I was so happy, and now I'm in the toilet with the rest of the shit. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry, but that won't help anything. It doesn't change the fact that I'm fucked and nobody can help me but myself. The feelings are there. I feel like a fraud. My skill set is useless in todays market. I can't believe I left my old job. I should have never been so vain, so starving for respect and a decent salary. If i didn't leave I would still be there right now. I would still be relishing the job security I had when I was there. The benefits. Everything. Now I'm just plain fucked, because of this stupid attitude. I severely overestimated myself. I just want to die right now. I don't want to be here. I'm sick of feeling this way. I just want to fucking die. Current Music: cub - Green Eyes | ||
