Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nagi armitage's LiveJournal:

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Friday, March 15th, 2002
7:49 am	At school don't have much to do but wait for rae to get here, and waste a couple hours before i die yeah, tody's finally friday thank god, but i feel very mixed emotions about the balance of the universe, yesterday, i think i got over marc, the asshole, but then my state of bliss over girvan was interrupted when we went down to piper to take pix and hang out with the kida there, and sean said of me when i got out of the car "oh, that's amanda, you don't have to like her." i could have cried right there, i didnt even try to laugh it off, i dont understand why he does stuff like that, maybe he just desnt know. but i met the kid named merlin,(sp?) and he wqas nice enough, i dont think anyone's ever held my hand that long. oh! and i heard more stuf about "that dreaded bastard shakar" oh god was that ever amusing. now i know all about him, and he still doesn't know me. damn he was a bad kisser, but that night was nice, i must admit. yeah, so i got girvan thinking about me and the past, and the future, kind of, which was all together great. absolutley mind blowingly wonderful, smiles. i think i know what emotion to put at the end of this thing, i love this journal, through writing, i figure out the answers to all the things i thought were so hard to answer, and since im not writingn as much any more, i am hoping that beyond my phone bill and research paper, my life is fine. although more a's would be nice. i think ill let nick know about this page, he might find some of it at least a little bit entertaining, and if not, well, what more should i have hoped for? well the guy is coming around to look at what people are doing, so i gots to go now, ttyl, and everyone wish god luck for me today and tomorrow. love always........ Current Mood: high Current Music: i will follow him, follow him wherever he may go....... (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 7th, 2002
10:06 pm	anthony! i love anthony, he's the greatest, coolest, bestest, lovingest, bestest, greatest, wonderfullest, lovingest, lovliest, brother, kitty, person, and really close friend, right next to craig. i have had o goof week all week, i love marc, but i love girvan more. i was here yesterday, with marc, whop stayed over for twenty minutes, i feel alot more like a goddess now! yahh me! love yall, write more later! love you anthony!!! Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: anthony! (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 21st, 2002
8:01 am	hiyah mimi smokes pot obviously, oh k, i am jamaican, what about that doesnt ad up? lol. at school, hoping anthony will read this at some point, cuz i wuv him so much and want him to know i havent forgotten him at all, i just cant get my internet to work, and i have ben checking my mail, just wish everyone else would check their's as well, danielle and sonja especially, and girvan, cuz i wuv them too, the guy librarian is prolly gonna come round here in a sec and ask me what im doing on the computer's cuz it dont look like school stuff, som latah yall, love lots! p.s., bad news, ive become a coffee junkie! (Comment on this)
Friday, February 15th, 2002
11:28 pm	what other wonderful people out there? come closer so i can hear you! well, another day, twenty fivw more dollars, yay me! and i love my mummy, shes the greatest, have i not mentioned that before? im talking to ohnoits mimi, and shes cool. life is fun now, ive found another amy. silly me, i deperately want marc, oh god, it is gonna get ugly this onew, damn me and my foolish .... grrh. ive gotta stop confusing real life with a romantic novel. aaah, someone please save the world, im too lazy, i dont think i have anything else to say, i hope patrick doesnt die, but somehow i just know he will, and that sux. i love my brother, whered yesterday go? yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now i need a place to hide away, oh i believ, in yesterday. ive got to go now, befroe i really get into this. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: beatles (Comment on this)
4:33 pm	this is what i meant I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by peacefulchaos ! if anyone finds out what a gorgon is, please tell me, im absolutley panting to know, and thanx delira! i hope we can become good frenz or summink, ur nice ;) luv lots yall, mands (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 14th, 2002
11:51 pm	yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so so so so so so so so very happy right now, i got to talk to girvan! yipee! valentines day didnt suck at all today, except for all the tests and quizzes i falied today, but mr c. was very nice to me, in that he helped me with my lab. MARC-ANDRE JACQUES PIETTE IS AN ASSHOLE!!! just so everyone knows. anywayz, got home, mommy gave me a fone card to call my peeps, and got to talk to sonja, got a little closer, talked to her and ish, and then, came online, whereupon, no one was paying me any attention, so i went and called girvans house, talked to him for a full 27 minutes and 13 seconds, i love him so much. i got him all horny and whatnot, and he misses me! yay! and school was fun with brenna, but i am so pissed at richard, what the fuck did he have to do that to me for? it's not my fucking fault he got a ticket! crhyst! yeah, so, it's about 5 mins till the end of valentines day, so im gonna go, and end in saying, today was great yall! night night Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: kelis-caught out there (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
10:11 pm	just a heads up if you've never seen me cry, don't look now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
6:25 pm	um, nort sure just what the hell that is, but it sounz nice! What is YOUR Highschool label? if anyone reads my journal, and finds out what that thing is, please tell me asap (Comment on this)
6:16 pm	yipee me! What is YOUR Highschool label? yay me! i am what i always thought i was, arent i? went thru sumones email today, i really shouldnt have, am at this very monent gasping for air from shock of what i have discovered. Current Mood: shocked Current Music: some kinda rave, really cool though. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2002
3:17 pm	this just in..... at school, not really inspired, not a good day to be awake, but i guess i had to be. doesn't that all just suck? yes, i believe it does. why doesn't anyne ever just tell me what it is they want from me? it would make life so much easier, i really do love him, but im not sure how, i did his homework for him, was his friend, tried to get him to understand that it's not as bad as he thinks it is, that his parents dont want to kill him, and that he should stop fucking up his life as an sta student, and then there's david, who i find perplexing, and at the same time, very ..... i'm honestly not quite sure. this computer is really cool. sean's in his element around these people, doing what he truly loves and enjoys. i wish i was around my people, in my element, doing what i love. lol, the dirty thouights that brings. and yet they're not even dirty anymore, god how i love him and that stupid agreement. i like sean again, and even amanda, i've realized, isn't half bad, they're both ok people, i dont know why i was ever a bitch about it in the first place. well yes, now i do, but it's stupid, so i can't say what it is. i realized i've left all my homework in the classroom, and im not even bugged about it, somehow, ill get it done tomorrow, and i can finish marc's homework tonight, and then do some more of mine. but i know ill probably sleep, but i know im gonna do his homework, i love him so, silly me. yes, i am being very stupid about this. very very. oh well, have people ever done smart things because they loved other people? i think i love people too much sometimes. yes, that is almost definite. but it feels so good, to love them, and so much better for them to love me back, it's like a really warm cloak, cuz the world around me is so god-damned cold. im gonna stop now, and see what it looks like, and then go look at other people's journals. cuz it's fun, and im bored. david is cute, and sweet and charming, at least that's what he appears to be to me. oh no wait, im not done yet, too bored to go do other stuff. today, french was the trip of the day, well, kind of. but it werne't good at all. first, as usual, marc and david came in late, and as she has been doing recently, Madame tols them to go get a pass, so they left, came back without a pass, and left to "go get it" again. they came back, and i could tell marc was hurt, and they didnt have a pass, and therein, a tiff developed between themselves and Madame, whereupon, marc sat down, dave left the room, and cam back with a pass. i looked at marc, and he looked at me, and i called him over to attempt to talk to him about whatever had just hapenned, but he was talking to some people, and he didnt see me, and didnt want to come either. i didnt feel bad, just stared at him in between battle with "les verbes 'y' et 'on' dans une phrase". and i could tell, just because im me,and i have a feeling i know him pretty well, that he was close to tears, and it ripped me up, cuz i wante to make him fel beter so bad, but he was too far away, in more ways than one. so i just went back to my work, had small chit chat after class, and walked to my homeroom. as im on my way to brit lit, i see the people leaving class, and i remeber that we're going to the conference room to talk about more college stuff. so i get in there, and im preparing myself for having to sit next to sara and chris, who are ok, but not really talkable people, and i notice, who else is there.... but mrac! so i go sit next to marc, and hit him on the head as a way of greeting, he winces and tells me he has the worst headache, and thank you or being so considerate, i smiled and rubbed his head, mutterng how i was sorry. so we spend that class with small chat, and i felt pretty good, i was sitting right next to him, and i scratched his back, and palyed with his skin when he let me. and that all was qutie nice, but what i really wanted to be doing, was holding him close, and telling him it was ok, and that it wasnt all as bad as it seemed, and that he didnt have to be all tough around me, but i couldnt, gtg, buh bye, ttyl (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 17th, 2002
8:15 pm	i have to kill it this dumb ass soul of mine gets me in too much trouble, i am so sick of the fucking games, i am so sick of it, why did they pick me? that was the most cruel joke anyone could ever play on me. thank god i wasn't in love with him, because if i ever haa ny felings for him, they are now GONE!!! i think it's safe to say that yes, i can die and happily as well, i think i am ready to kill someone, but thank god for girvan, thank you so very much. why did you make that just happen? i dont understand, it was so good before you, so good. die soul, DIE!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 12th, 2002
8:31 pm	STRENGTH Be strong It takes strength to be polite to someone who has been rude to you. It takes strength to be truthful when a lie would be easier. It takes strength to do what has to be done even though it is unpleasant and uncomfortable. It takes strength to keep going in face of the obstacles, when it would be easier just to give up. It takes strength to build for the future. It takes strength to resist temptation. It takes strength to do what is right. It takes strength to make an effort when it would be easier to make up an excuse. And at the same time, strength comes from doing what is right. Strength comes from the truth. Strength comes from building for the future. Strength comes from effort. Strength comes from persistence. Be strong, and you will get stronger. Your strength will bring triumph. Your strength will bring success. You have strength. Use it and it will bring many good things. I like to think of myself as a strong person, could i ever possibly be successful because of it? I damned well hope so... Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: u2 (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 16th, 2001
8:47 pm	GIRVAN!!!!! weird, funny, lovable, weird, cute, funny, amusing, funny, stupid, annoying, useful, interesting, yes, lots and lots more. all so much, very interesting, and nice. but all im trying to do is forget abot that other one, and you know what? it's working pretty damned well, yes, it is. stupid togetherness of the hloidays, who cares that im not going to e near my mummy and im going to miss her, and itll be my first christmas without my gramma, huh? who really cares anyway? i really do hate titanic, i do. it was the dumbest movie ever, and i could point out reasons why, but im too tired, and my arm hurts, here why my arm hurts, Arianne zsadah says: want to hear about my rollerbalding accident? jan says: okay Arianne zsadah says: i was rollerblading on the boardwalk at the beach yesterday and i was doing really well and going real fast and all and i had my frined with me, and she was coming down the steps to tell me something, and i was going towards her at a rate of knots, and all of a sudden, im veering left and i slammed str8 into a wooden plank(top rung of a fence) and it burned and scraped half the skin on my stomach Arianne zsadah says: and arms yeah, so that was all very interesting, and whatever and stuff, yep, so i really want not to have to wake up tomorrow, i didnt even get a freaking tan, i cant wait to go back to ja. well, actually, im also kinda dreading it, i am so glad smellie actually read this, i do have friends who care about my personal thoughts and musings after all, yeah, well, i am going to go and beg for my hair to get done, so ill have to come back to this later on, i dont know, is anything really going to work? why was he being so weird? oh, all these freaking boys need to stop messing with my head, maybe, i should just stop with all these freaking boys? oh god if only he knew that if he had just told me that was all he wanted from me, id have given it to him, he didnt have to rip out my heart and tear it to shreds,ack, thas enough of that, well later you, night night. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: umm, knocturnal and dr. dre? (Comment on this)
Friday, December 14th, 2001
10:24 pm	last time yo, i was such a dumbass before, but i guess i am only going through what people call learning. today was the last time, no more phone calls no more emails and luckily, i control my subconcious to an extent so no more drams either, but damn his friend was hot! anyway, i am really just very pissed off and so huert right now, that it doesn't even matter to me now, anthony told me to walk away, and it ususally takes me tryiong the wrong thing before i listen to him, but hey, what teh fuck, i certainly learned something today, i wnated to crawl under a rock and die. well, no. i just want girv, roght now, he's the only one who'd be able to heal me. then again, he was always the only one, always will be, i know that. but you know what, im dumb as hell. i think ill finally listen, and just let it go. let it all go. it's really not that big of a deal, but again, anthony was right, i was just being one of the folowers, and i dont want to burn the book, cuz it's a nice book, but god believe me when i say i want to burn something! jesus, why didnt i just back it off? and you know what pisses me off the most? not a scratch, not one, but anthony was so right. i just cant wait to go back home, and be her one last time, go buck wild with sonz and "re-associate myself with girvan" .... he he, i know that wont hurt me. it never does. *sigh* always him , why do i ever try to leave? it's like that french chic and her dad. yeah, ive been writng really long now (DAMN HIS FRIEND IS HOT!!!!!!) so im bout to step on out of here, and go to sleep, go out wit ma bitches tomorrow, and chill. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: aint nuttin goin on in my mind, but paint it black (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 10th, 2001
3:13 pm	definition of love. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. yes, i guess that's about right, but they forgot to add the part about the mood swings, and the gut wrenching sadness, and the heartache, the apprehension, the insecurity, the pure joy, the , well, anyone who's ever known such a feeling as the true depth of love, would kno what else there is. all in all. i don't think it's really quite so simple. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 8th, 2001
8:17 pm	Fall Piano Recital 2001(amazing how much you learn when you're sposed to be concentrating) yeah, so tonight was danielle's piano recital, and in between my bouts of conciousness, i thought about alot of things, to escape the place i was in at that moment, here go some of them, not in order, but then, not much in my life is, : "dear god, if i have to hear another one of these filthy- stink children butcher a song that i know how to play, i will go off" "i wish that the reason i was here was that me and girv had a little girl, who we loved, and we were there to watch her play piano...smile" "that was the weirdest compliment anyone ever gave me, better stop thinking bout it, aunty lee is looking at me again" why won't this damn dress just stop trying to show my glorious endowments to the world? i wouldn't even be getting paid for flashing the people in here" "i wonder who'll be online when i get home" "when do we get to eat the cookies in the hall? they look good" "i'm thirsty" "there are no cute guys here, dammit." "i wonder how shakar would react if i went out with someone else, like marc, or... like marc." "aunt lee is acting weird" "my spine needs cracking" "i want to go home and put these thpoughts in my journal" thas how they went fr the most part. then i actually listened, cuz it did get interesting. and then, sean took me home, cuz i dint want to go to a tre decorating aprty, and we had anpther debate over who was better, batmn or superman, i stand firm in the belief that batman rules, and superman sucks, but he is stuck on superman, who has a suckyt job and no girlfriends at all. cant get one to save his life, and he talks too much and ,makes corny jokes. batman, howvevr, is the exact opposite of all those things combined, anyone who thinks that i should be corrected or congratulated oin my school of thought concerning this matter, (damn i love to pretend im intelligent!) may post a comment at the end of this thing. yeah. so whatevuh, see yall laytah. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: none, wish i had working speakers and that shakar was online (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2001
5:34 pm	Grandpa vs. sexual inadequacy yeah, so today was pretty uneventful. i wanna see shakar sometime this weekend, i really would. i do love him i do.yeah, and me and anothynoy are having some problems, but whtr can you expect when you stick two fuckhedz together in the confined space that is life? not much, eh?i really want my inspiration back. my art sucks, and other things, as well as my writing, suck too. yeah, so i been reading this other kids journal, and all i can say is he dont sound too bad, but with my luck, he's probably fat and wears thick glasses, and is one of those people who upon meeting me, would itch to go home and masturbate. *shudder* yeah, so like, waht else, oh! only 16 days to go and counting. but here's how id like for it to go, : me, and shakar and aisha, ( and marc, yeah, i know, but so what, we were never together anyway so yeah, he could come too) and we'd all go down, and at least marc has a licsence, so we could just go get the key for the baot from dad, go up the hill, grab what stuf wed ned from like the supermarket and stuff, and get boat fuel, and then go pick up safi and sonja, and the'd need men to come with them, so they'd bring whoever.yipeee! a footrest! <- please ignore. yeah so then we'd all head out to ... guess where? PIGEON ISLAND!!!! *confetti, parades, joy, cheering, confetti* yeah,. but this is how it's probably gonna go : get off the plane, with one, or none of my friends there, first of all, id have had a crappy flight and seats, and then id get off the plane and yeah. id have to go throught the dozen hellos, and hugs and fake smiles, that would no doubt gret me, and then, id get to go home, yay. go home and ... well, lets noit go there quite now. of course, thats not how it would go if the glass were half full, right now, stacy's dogs are yelling, and my head gonna hurt if they keep it up. i wish someone knew. i know there's no where you can hide it, i know the feeling of alarm, i know that you' do not feel invited but come back, come back in from the cold. step away then, from the edge, your best friend in life, is not your, mirror back away come back away, back away, i am here and i will be forever. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: im not sure, but this is one of my fave songs in the world. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 29th, 2001
9:33 pm	bored and frustrated yeah so, im bored, like really really really badly bored, and i do not want to do nuthin. so i am in here writing. i dont want to, but, i aint got nuttin else to do. so im just gonna stop here, and maybe do my homework.so ill check you later. Current Mood: bored Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 24th, 2001
4:43 pm	sighs, yesterday went after all Now the skies could fall Not even if my boss should call The world it seems so very small 'Cause nothing even matters at all Nothing even matters Nothing even matters at all Nothing even matters Nothing even matters at all See I don't need no alcohol Your love makes me feel ten feet tall Without it I'd go through withdrawal 'Cause nothing even matters at all Nothing even matters Nothing even matters at all Nothing even matters Nothing even matters at all These buildings could drift out to sea Some natural catastrophe Still there's no place I'd rather be 'Cause nothing even matters to me Nothing even matters Nothing even matters to me Nothing even matters Nothing even matters to me You're part of my identity I sometimes have the tendency To look at you religiously 'Cause nothing even matters to me Nothing even matters Nothing even matters to me Nothing even matters Nothing even matters to me Now you won't find me at no store I have no time for manicures With you it's never either or 'Cause nothing even matters no more Nothing even matters Nothing even matters no more Nothing even matters Nothing even matters no more Now my team could score And make it to the Final Four Just repossess my 4x4 'Cause nothing even matters no more Nothing even matters Nothing even matters no more Nothing even matters Nothing even matters no more Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: im not qutie sure, could it be lauryn hill?? (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 22nd, 2001
12:03 pm	something i just realized i think that poem i wrote is really corny, never read it again. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: i just woke up, i can barely see much less hear anything (Comment on this)