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Friday, November 16th, 2001
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5:23 am
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i'm up early, janice called me at 3am. apparently her and rik broke up. i wonder if i wont the pool on that? just kidding, kinda. i did call the breakup to happen by thanksgiving. rik is just not a realtionship person. i feel bad for janice, she is hurting. she has to look at him at work every day. thats gotta be rough. stalker tried to start a conversation about us on im yesterday, which i immediately ignored. i cant have that conversation, i never want to talk about that ever again...ever...ever again. i want it to go away and him to just stay at least 5 feet away with his hands where i can see them. i finally sent the email back to kim a minute ago. i'm really upset about this still. i dont know what is going to happen there. i just cant belive that she could judge me so harshly without even talking to me first. she had every right to disapprove of my actions but at least let me have a say and set the story straight before you go making your judgements. i dont know if i'm going to see her when i'm up in minnesota. june is awhile away, maybe things will be better. maybe they will be worse. i dont know. we'll see what she has to say to that email and go from there. i'm feeling much better today, excitied for tomorrow. a whole week! hell yeah. i get to see my people. i gotta con slack into going fishing. i must fish. well i'm going to go check the midst of zool message board and go try and get some sleep. i gotta help sammie pack tonight and i'm sleeping there so i know i'm going to be up late. my body cant handle this anymore. at least i'm feeling a little better. hopefully it wont go to hell on sunday. ok, bedtime...
current mood:  sad
current music: duncan sheik "phantom moon"
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| Wednesday, November 14th, 2001
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10:31 am - I HATE BEING A GIRL!!!!
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GRRRR!!! being a girl sucks. i am having one of the worst periods known to man. we really are the stronger sex, a man could not handle this. we have to take the birth control so we dont get pregnant. that includes the weight gain, nausea and other side effects. if that fails we get pregnant. we have to carry the child for 9 months then give birth. these days its not uncommon for the guy to split, so we get the task of raising a child on our own. then we get periods every month with pain and cramping and mood swings. the kicker of this whole thing? we arent even guaranteed to get off during sex. sex is over once the guy has an orgasm. there better be some type of consolation for this in the afterlife. ok, i'm stepping off my soapbox now. the only good part of my day so far was chatting with slack this morning. i miss him so much. i cant wait to see him next week. i'm glad i havent seen him in awhile and that we really havent talked all that much lately. its helped me to get over him. im pretty sure i'm cool with everything now. i guess we will find out next week for sure. no matter what he is my best friend though. nothing is going to change that. i dont care how miserable i am, i cant go that long without talking to him. i worry about his stupid ass too much. lol...i swear he will be the death of me one day. he is going to give me a heartattack or something. he just doesnt think sometimes. everything will work itself out eventually. i cant wait to go fishing with him though. i miss that so much. going fishing in the middle of the night, drinking beers and talking. *hopefully* soon. well i'm going to go back to bed, curl up in a ball and hope to god this pain medication kicks in soon.
current mood:  bitchy
current music: duncan sheik...humming
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1:13 am
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i havent been able to update, i've been in bed the past couple days. this drug is kicking my ass. hopefully it will get better tomorrow so i have a few days of peace before the next round. nothing else going on, i talked to lee ann. she is such a sweetie. well its back to bed before i start getting sick again...
current mood:  sick
current music: the smiths
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| Monday, November 12th, 2001
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7:56 am - so it begins...
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well i started last night. i'm already feeling the effects. its going to be a rough next couple months. i'm a tough girl though, i can handle it. hopefully i can get some sleep soon. i felt so sick i was waking up every half hour or so. nothing much else going on. i'm sitting here freezing my ass off thinking about chrissy and mark lounging on the ship deck drinking margaritas. i hope they are having fun. i got to talk to slack this morning which was nice. i miss him a lot. i cant wait for saturday, a whole week of being able to see people. its going to be nice. well i'm going to go lay down and try to sleep for a little while. wish me luck, i'm going to need it...
current mood: sick
current music: duncan sheik "phantom moon"
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