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Tuesday, March 19th, 2002
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9:28 am
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| Monday, March 18th, 2002
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6:05 pm
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I wish I was hungover right now. But I'm not. Its the day after St. Patricks Day and I'm absolutely fine, because I didn't drink at all yesterday because there was no alcohol to be had. Oh well. The Southie parade was a good time. And me, Cait, and Diana had a great lunch/dinner at the Farragut House with Irish music playing and a traditional Irish turf fire burning in the fireplace behind us. It was really cool. And despite the miles and miles of walking I did in order to get from place to place, I had fun. After we ate, we met Drew, Paul, and Josh in Andrew Sq. (Yes we walked all the way from the Farragut House on P Street to Andrew Square...needless to say, my legs hurt) Anyways, they had drank at Josh's grandmother's house, which is great, and I was really jealous. I took today off from school, mostly cuz my legs hurt. I know its an awful excuse but I really didn't feel like going anyways. I'm probably gonna get bitched at by like 5 teachers tomorrow cuz I'm never in school anymore, but I don't even care anymore. I'm at work, and me and April are getting Chinese food! Yes! And I have something else to say too, and I'll say it in here cuz I don't want my dad to find out. Ya know how I was telling everyone that it was just a matter of time before I hit something while I was driving? And that it would most likely be a parked car? Well woo hoo Meghan, I was going to rent a movie last night and I was going down a side street near the Villa Rosa and I hit a mirror on a parked car and I didn't know what to do so I just kept going. I checked my car and you couldn't even tell so its ok. Haha.....23 days til Florida!
current mood:  cheerful
current music: "Underneath Your Clothes" - Shakira
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| Sunday, March 17th, 2002
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12:31 am
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| Saturday, March 16th, 2002
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5:10 pm
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1:53 pm
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1:45 pm
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1:32 pm
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When am I NOT at work? Oh well I don't even work that much, it just seems like I do. I honestly don't even mind it cuz everyone's cool and its fun most of the time. And I stress, MOST OF THE TIME. Anyways, last night I went down to Marshfield for a little while to see Courtney cuz she's home from school for the weekend and she wanted me to meet Mark, the boy. He seemed pretty nice, and she's happy so thats good. Then I came home around 8 expecting to do something, but we know how plans can get messed up...lately...anyways I don't even feel like getting into all that cuz there's no point. But I braved the expressway to get down to Marshfield and I'm so proud of myself! It was crazy though, but I did it. I got some stuff in the mail for a scholarship for Merrimack that could be up to $10,000 so I'm all over that. I think I might go back down to Marshfield tonight after work but it depends on if I get in touch with anybody in Quincy and see what's going on, or basically if anyone feels like hanging out with me tonight. OK, I know that sounded bitchy but its how I feel so oh well. I'm gonna stop talking about it now before I say anything else that I shouldn't say. Alot of things have changed in the past few days and I guess I'll just have to get used to them.
current mood:  lonely
current music: "Don't Let Me Get Me" - Pink
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| Monday, March 11th, 2002
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9:08 pm
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I'm still at work and its past 9! Argh! But somehow I'm in an extremely crazy and hyper mood. It might have alot to do with the fact that I came home after 1st period today and just sat around all day and ate and watched movies. It was great. I am so poor. I have like 15 cents to my name. I can't wait to get paid on Thursday. I can't wait to hear from Emerson and Northeastern. I can't wait for this weekend! St. Patricks Day! Ahhhhh! I'm like high on life right now or something.
RT...Tuesdays. Bessy Brigham the Mooing Cow. <3
current mood:  hyper
current music: "Around the World"
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| Sunday, March 10th, 2002
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11:24 am
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I don't want to sound retarded...and I am a Quincy kid...but drinking last night did not agree with my poor stomach. I didn't even drink that much! I didn't even have half of my bottle of iced tea and Southern Comfort but I feel like absolute shit today. Paul drank his whole bottle AND the rest of mine...I would die if I did that. I thought mine was wicked strong but everybody said it really wasn't. Ick. I like rolled over in bed this morning and looked at the time and remembered that I had to get up and drive my mom to work and then be at work myself at 10. I like couldn't move my body. It felt so heavy and right then and there I wanted to die rather than move myself into a standing position. Oh Lord. Hard liquor is not for me. From now I'm sticking to more milder beverages...
So now I'm sitting at work, calmly sipping coffee and trying not to die. I think I'm mostly just tired. A salesman came up to the cashier's window to drop off paperwork and looked at me, laughed, and said, "Rough night?" I don't think today will be that bad. Its Sunday so I don't think it'll be busy, and there's good people working so I think it'll go by fast.
This weekend went by so ridiculously fast. I can't believe I already have to go back to school tomorrow morning. I never did end up calling that person's cell phone that I was kind of supposed to. I hope they're not insulted and that they understand.
I am totally and completely broke. I have like $5 in my pocket right now, and somehow that is supposed to pay for my food during work today, gas, and cigarettes. Its not gonna happen.
current mood:  listless
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| Saturday, March 9th, 2002
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5:22 pm
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Forget that last entry...about not hearing from any of my other schools yet. I got into Merrimack today.
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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10:27 am
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Still nothing yet from the rest of my schools. I'm getting so nervous. I had kind of a better day yesterday than the day before that. Its pretty sad when you have to try to get by, day by day, without getting in a bad mood. I don't know whats wrong with me, but lately, the littlest things that people say to me have been setting me off and it sucks. But then again, its not always stupid little things that people say to me either, sometimes its pretty mean stuff. Well I'm at work and I have to go do some stuff. I'll write more later.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: "Sweet Emotions" - Aerosmith
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| Thursday, March 7th, 2002
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7:59 pm
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Work work work...Quirk Quirk Quirk. So the best thing ever is getting in the car and driving myself to work. By myself. I can't get over how great driving on my own is. Its awesome. I can go do stuff on my own without relying on anyone else. Go to the bank, go to pick up pictures, stupid stuff like that. Tomorrow night's Friday night and I can take the car out which is great. I can't wait. I just hope my dad doesn't notice the smell of smoke in his car...I air out wicked good before I go home, but I'm seriously thinking of investing in a bottle of Febreze. Its funny how something like getting your license and driving can put you in such a good mood. I'm in a ridiculously good mood, despite the bad mood I was in this morning. I'm not gonna get into why I was in a bad mood, but it might have something to do with some really mean things that someone said to me this morning, and that someone was a person that I used to consider a friend. I guess it sucks how fast someone will turn on you. I can't even repeat the things they said to me, mostly cuz it hurt my feelings alot and I don't wanna tell the entire world what he said. But he said it like jokingly, as if he thought it was funny, but he knew that the things he was saying were things that were going to hurt me. I had tears in my eyes, and I never ever cry in front of anyone, so I had to get a pass to the bathroom so I could walk around and calm down. Its not really necessary to say who it was. But his little girlfriend reads this journal, so honey, I hope you know how cruel your boyfriend is. So there ya go. Thank you my "friend". But on a lighter note, the weather is starting to get nice finally. It was pretty good out today. I wore capris to work, even though people probably thought I was nuts but I don't care cuz I'm dying for it to be summer. Friday and Saturday are supposed to be like 60 out, maybe even 65, so thats gonna be great. I can't wait for summer! I can't wait to graduate!
current mood: mellow
current music: "I Shot the Sheriff" - ?...only cuz its on the radio at work
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| Wednesday, March 6th, 2002
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10:31 pm
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Ya so today I was driving...ya cuz I got my license. Finally. After driver's ed and everyone else getting there license before me and having my permit for about a decade, I got my license. Thank God. And I almost didn't get it, due to lost permits, misplaced driver's licenses, the scraping of a curb when I was parking with the state trooper in the car...I'm very lucky that I got it. And tonight I just went for a little drive and smoked and had a great time. It was such a good feeling, I felt like I had accomplished so much. I feel like an adult now...even though I'm really not. I think its really funny that when your little, all you wanna do is grow up and be "big" and be able to do everything that your parents do. But now I realize that I am basically a 5 year old little girl trapped in this body. No matter how much I think I know, or how much I have experienced, I am so far from being an adult. I still have so much to learn and so many things to do. And I'm scared, because its coming towards the time when even little decisions you make have some kind of major affect on your life. I want to go back to when the only decisions you needed to make were what game to play or what TV show to watch, or what kind of ice cream you wanted. Little insignificant decisions that have no consequences are so comforting. Choosing anything now means losing. It means you gave something else up. And what happens if the thing you gave up was really the thing you were meant to have, and you chose wrong? It could affect your whole life. And then there's people in general. How many chances should you give someone? I mean, if bad things happened in the past, can the person really change? And should you give them another chance, or just not risk it? I wish everything was planned out for you, and you had a little instruction book for life that said what you were supposed to do and how it would all turn out. But you don't. So its kind of like walking around in the dark with a tiny little flashlight to guide you. And sometimes the light goes out and your left in the dark to just fumble around on your own and figure everything out for yourself.
current mood: calm
current music: "Dancing Queen" - ABBA
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| Tuesday, March 5th, 2002
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11:30 pm
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11:25 pm
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11:23 pm
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11:20 pm
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10:58 pm - I did the best I could while I was stuck in this place...
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I'm pretty sure that we have 52 days of actual school left in senior year. I hope it goes by fast. I want it to be summer so bad. I know I probably shouldn't say this cuz its gonna suck if I fail, but tomorrow morning I have my driving test. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna pass but of course there's always that chance. But with luck, tomorrow night I'll be cruising around in the minivan! Hehehe. Wish me luck!
current mood:  nervous
current music: "South Side" -Moby & Gwen Stefani
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| Monday, March 4th, 2002
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6:30 pm
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I'm at work. Blah blah blah. I had a surprisingly good day today. Its amazing what a skirt can do for your mood. I should wear one every day. I think you just feel like pretty or something so your in a better mood. Which isn't exactly the greatest thing cuz you should be able to be in a good mood whether or not you feel pretty, but its a plus I guess. I also found out that this Saturday I get to work 9-6 instead of 11-Close, which is great cuz sometimes when I close I end up having to stay so much later and it sucks for a Saturday night. And almost every other weekend this month I get to work 10-6. Greatness! Every other job I've hated so much but this one I don't even mind coming to, so its not bad at all. I still have yet to hear from my three top schools. You should see me in the afternoon. I call home every afternoon to see if I got any mail. Its funny actually. I've been really nostalgic lately about past things that I should NOT be nostalgic about. Ew kill me please. Whatever is making me have these thoughts needs to go away or stop or whatever, because its not healthy and it only brought pain into my life...but then again it also brought good things while it lasted. Ahh Meg stop! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts, go away. Why am I such a spaz?! But then again, I haven't seen the mailman in a while... : ) If your reading this...remember when you took my ring and hid it?
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: "I Keep It To Myself" - Monica
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9:00 am
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So this weekend was pretty much uneventful I guess. Saturday night, even though we didn't do anything, was still better than Friday night though. Only cuz Friday night was a really bad night for me cuz I was really upset about something, but it doesn't matter anymore. Saturday night we all wanted to go cosmic bowling at Boston Bowl, but we didn't end up getting there til like 9. There was no parking and the wait was like two hours long. So there was no point. And yesterday, which was Sunday, I went shopping, and I got a prom dress! Its so great and I love it so much! I hope this week goes by fast. I can't deal with being in school!
current mood:  awake
current music: "A Thousand Miles" -Vanessa Carlton
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