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Shouryu, eh?'s LiveJournal
LiveJournal for Shouryu, eh?.

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Friday, April 5th, 2002

Time:5:11 pm.
Mazda has finally returned. I loved the 626 sport sedans of the past. I loved the RX series, including the RX-3, the RX-5 Cosmo, and the famous RX-7. In recent years, their sporting heritage has really only been present in the handling prowess of the Miata and the Protegé.

But now, they're back.

The Mazda6:
http://www.canadiandriver.com/news/02images/mazda6_hb.jpg

The RX-8:
http://www.carseverything.com/content/image/10380/

I want one. Don't get me wrong. I still want an M5, a WRX, a Silvia, or an Altima. But I want one of these, too.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 4th, 2002

Subject:A Revelation...
Time:1:16 am.
Mood: exhausted.
Music:Awayday - NMSU Symphonic Winds.
Regular Unleaded: Didn't check
Red Swedish Fish Jar: Empty, myomy
Winds: Cruisin...although this "Into the Air!" piece is hard, but way cool
Jazz: Gee, could Doktorowmairo leech even MORE time from me? Quick answer - YES!
Band: No prob.
Clarinet: Ugh.

...and this revelation came to me while working out in the gym today.

I have never been a particularly shy person. Just very private. I tend to keep to myself more or less because I prefer to observe others first. But at the same time, I never liked talking with strangers. And I never really knew how to approach women I don't know.

It is fairly common for the gym to be populated with a fair number (sometimes a large number) of attractive women. And a year and a half ago, I would have had all sorts of trouble coming up with a way to properly approach them. I wasn't shy, I wasn't scared to talk to them. I just didn't know HOW to talk to them.

Today? Well, I did get a smile out of a very pretty girl that I happened to see, and one that I've never seen before, I might add. And I very commonly share a smile or a glance with the regular girls whom I often see and occasionally say hi or chat with. I don't have this problem before, and I'll admit, I sort of enjoy the attention when I get it. And I would never have any problems approaching them, or starting a conversation with them.

And you know what I have to thank for this? Oh, sweet irony.

Having a girlfriend. Having Mia. She has made quite a difference in my life. (I'm sure Cole would fill you in on all the other benefits, but that's another story.)

So, why such a difference? Because Mia is freakin' hot. At least half the guys in the department (maybe more) are creamin' their pants over her (hell, I used to be one of them). And she and I are having a great time, and I ain't giving her up. But being with her has been a learning experience, and I've learned that it doesn't take much to get a girl to pay attention. Keeping her interested, that's the cool part.

I think I've got a whole lot more female friends around the department now, too - maybe because I know how to talk to them. Why? Because I'm with Mia. And Cole and I have discussed this...did you all catch that episode of Mad About You when Paul tells Jamie that the biggest turn on for a woman is a committed man? We think it's true, because Cole has women who seem to fall all over him all the damn time, despite his unwavering faithfulness to Marie (hell, I bet even YOU, Holly, would go for him if he wasn't with your sister, but then, if he wasn't with your sister, you probably wouldn't know him).

Now I've got a girlfriend, and suddenly, I seem to be getting more attention. That's gotta be it.

Screw the gym, guys - ain't how big your arm is. It's if you got someone hanging onto the arm.

(But I'm still going to gym dammit. BEEFCAKE!)
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, April 1st, 2002

Subject:The End of the Week...
Time:2:51 pm.
Mood: mellow.
Music:Simon and Garfunkel - Late in the Evening.
Regular Unleaded: 1.249
Red Swedish Fish Jar: Yikes!
Winds: Ain't touched my bass all week
Band: Ain't touched the oboe all week
Jazz: Ain't touched Urd all week
Clar: Ain't touched HEPBILS all week.

As you can see from above, I've been OH SO PRODUCTIVE this break. Although that's not to say I haven't done ANYTHING.

Oh, and I'm typing this from our apartment by the way...downstairs and all. The comp has finally been connected. Woo! Back online again!

Finally, all 13 endings of ChronoTrigger have been viewed by these eyes. I saved the ones where you leave Crono dead for very last, and it was quite rewarding. If I was a pansy, I would have shed tears as Marle waited under their Tree and started running towards Crono's shadow. I'm serious - it was so moving that immediately reset the SNES and played my game where I left off to rescue Crono so I could see the scene under Marle and Crono's Tree again. That scene still remains as the most touching video game moment and the ending where she pursues him now becomes the second (the ending where they float together through the sky with the ballons was previously the second best, now third).

The Ballet! Oh my word, the Ballet for the Girl in Buchannon is almost completely arranged! Four of us (including Cole and myself) tackled that sucker with impunity on Monday evening for a solid six hours. We got halfway through West Virginia Fantasies, and the next day I finished WVF (except for the organ part of the fugue, and a few stray measures of the horn/guitar fugue), Colour My World, and To Be Free. All that remains, essentially, is the 5/4 ending of Now More Than Ever.

Practicing accomplished? Nil. I've been hoping my popped jaw might heal, but to no avail.

Wednesday night was an absolute blast!!! With Cole spending all his time with Marie (rightfully so, since she was leaving for Flordia for two weeks on Friday), I needed to do something that night. I tackled the gym that day, and was pleasantly surprised to find Leah hanging out behind the desk (her older sister, Alice, works the desk, and so she was hanging out with Alice). Leah is a freshman trumpet playing vocal major, and she's very entertaining (a good friend of Holly's too). After I finished buffing up ("BEEFCAKE!!!"), I asked what she was doing and if she wanted to hang out. She and her sister were going down to El Paso to a joint called Graham Central Station - a multiclub thing. There was an 80's dance club, a techno dance club, a country music dance bar, and a karaoke area. After wandering with Leah, Alice, and their two friends for about 10 minutes, I tossed back a shot of vodka and told Leah that we needed to do SOMETHING, and so she and I went on to the floor (this is in the techno-club) and danced for about 20 minutes. Imagine our shock when they announced that in 10 minutes they'd be clearing the floor for a wet t-shirt contest. Having never actually seen one, I wasn't quite sure what to expect, and debated on whether not to stay (a debate made moot when Leah and Alice found out I'd nae seen one, and they insisted I watch). We danced until they kicked us off, and then brought out the contestestants, seven or eight of them. Only one of them was even remotely pretty, so I wasn't particularly hyped (say what you like girls...a nice body is a nice body, but a pretty face means more to me than that). They also announced that the girls could not remove their shirts during the contest - whew! In truth, it was actually the most boring part of the night. After the contest concluded, we piled back on the floor to dance some more (with Alice and her friends joining us). Leah and I took off for the karaoke, and I made a fool of myself as always. This was probably the coolest place for Karaoke that I'd ever seen; they have a permanent set of 4 singers/dancers/entertainers that keep the action flowing, and help the lousy singers out or sing backup licks and stuff. I did the trademark Just a Gigolo, and the two female singers milked that one for all it was worth. (It was very funny. Really.) I also did Spinning Wheel, and I was required to sing the male part of Love Shack (being the only male in our little group that night). Afterwards, Leah and I tried to find an open Chico's to no avail (bastards!), and settled for a Carl's Jr before going home. We now currently plot to wrangle up half of the Revue to go next time.

This week I also cleaned the stove - scrubbed that sucker as clean as possible and also bought new reflector dishes and lined them with foil since they tend to get nasty pretty quickly.

And then there was the Albuquerque excursion. We departed Friday afternoon around 1:30-2:00 in the Shourmobile (Clark managed to screw up the electrical system in his Lumina, therefore nominating my non-air-conditioned clown car as our vehicle of choice). Every time we were in the car, it became a fatjoke, since them three cylinders and 55 horses can pull the car with me alone at a decent rate, but adding the mass of Clark and Cole turned every manuever into a potential fatjoke. Several times they decided that they were driving and forced a lane change just by violently leaning in unison.

We arrived and checked into a cozy, smoky La Quinta, changed out of travel gear, and headed to the Sandia Tram to have a drink at the top of the mountain. The pressure change did something very painful to my insides, but I guess my body adjusted after about a 1/2 hour. At the top of the tramride, there was snow and we wandered for a moment before going into the restaurant/bar. We clamoured up to the bar, and all ordered our drinks, and to be adventurous, a plate of sesame fried calamari (I'd never had calamari before). Yum!!! I serious munched that stuff - it was frickin good. Oh, interesting point...altitude makes alcohol affect you much faster. I was actually beginning to feel the buzz after HALF OF MY BEER. By the time I'd finished my RumpleMintz on the rocks, I was very happy. After hopping back down the tram, it was decided that Steve would have to drive us to the Sandia Casino; I was NOT going to drive in the condition I was in. I still had to pull out of our parking spot, since Clark + clutch + parked on hill = fender bender.

In the casino, we all ordered hefty sandwiches (my five dollar ham and swiss came with almost two inches of sliched meat - manoman!!!) and chowed down. The food helped me sober up real quick, and we set out for adventure. Clark tackled the slots, where he started with $20 and came away with $80. He called it quits VERY early on while he was ahead. Cole and I plopped down for some Blackjack and I started with $30, and he with $40. I came out $15 ahead, Cole came out behind. We split up, him to tackle some slots and me over to my cozy spot - the Roulette table. After about an hour, I broke even (I can play roulette for HOURS without really winning or losing - I learned how in Reno several years ago), and Clark and Cole were hanging behind me. Clark was not going to risk his winnings, Cole was out of cash. I decided to cash out $15 ahead. But standing in line at the cashier, a nearby Blackjack table called out to me, and I succumbed. Good thing I did, because I was frickin' hot. I played for another hour and a half, and finally called it quits walking out of the casino $100 ahead. I bought everyone lunch the next day, though. We knocked off at 3ish.

Awakening at 10:30-11ish, we got out of the hotel at noon and Mia met us in the parking lot, and we went to Red Robin for lunch. Then off to the primary target: Music Mart. We spent just over two hours there, and I walked out with four Aebersolds and five excerpt books, totalling $180. Whew! (I didn't even look at solos!) So all that money I won the night before went to music! Mia had to take off for work, and we decided to hit the Family Fun Center. We got frickin lost, but eventually found it, and Cole and I ponied up for a round of dual DDR (4th Mix) and a run on their ubercool Go-Kart tracks. We then made for Lazer Tag, where the three of us got completely whomped, but it was soooooooo fun. Then into possibly the smallest bumper car arena I've ever been in, with possibly the weirdest bumper cars I've ever seen, and possibly the most fun 8 minutes of bumper cars I've ever done. We finished out the FFC with another hit on the Go-Karts. After getting very lost again, we finally managed to make it to O'Hares, where Mia works when she's in Rio Rancho, and met up with SexyMama and her friend, Stevie (she's pretty funny, but she's a Lobo...poor child). After a very enjoyable meal and LOTS of flirting with my girl (we're shameless, really...Stevie probably thinks we go at it like rabbits now), Clark, Cole and I said goodbye to the Albuquerque metro area. Cole took the trip back while I napped for about an hour and a half, and the rest of the way, we discussed clarinetistry and marching band into the ground.

Bed. Sleep.

I've been awake for three and a half hours, lounging and taking care of my online business, which I've basically neglected all week. Plenty to still do today, though.

Things to do today:
write lecture for tomorrow's class (Wagner)
cook (I'm going to try making salmon burgers...)
practice (1 hour of clarinet, 1 hour of sax for jazz)
clean the pile of clothes in my room
begin web research on R.Strauss
pay bills

First up? Shower. Then cook.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 24th, 2002

Subject:Developments
Time:3:52 pm.
Mood: distressed.
Music:Hold On, I'm Comin' - Blues Brothers.
Problems have arisen...although things have seemed to have panned out (as they always do), it would appear (although I am not certain) that they have panned out because Marie has placed most of the blame on Clark (I refer to the recent problems between her and Cole, naturally), which, in my opinion, is a crock of shit.

However, I still need to hear her side, so, I'll give her that chance.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, March 23rd, 2002

Time:8:44 pm.
Remember all that stuff I was going to do today?

Scratch that.

Instead, I did nothing.

Man, it felt great.
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:Whew!
Time:10:14 am.
Mood: mellow.
Music:Themes of Vesper Lynd....
Regular Unleaded: 1.249 (what the hell happened in the past month?)
Red Swedish Fish Jar: Empty. A disaster indeed.
Winds (BCl): No sweat
Band (Ob): I'm doing far better than Doktorphaant had expected
Jazz (TSx): The pressure is on
Clar: Time to practice!

Got an 80 on my clarinet midterm. Woo woo, an F+!

So what's to be done? Well, the orchestra is currently rehearsing (I'm only needed for the Saint-Saens, which is at the end of the rehearsal), but the plan is to change the oil in the Shourmobile, maybe practice for a bit, shave off some of the 400 some odd emails that I've let pile up over the past two weeks (I've been reading and deleting everything that isn't Klarinet), and perhaps clean the interior of the Shourmobile. That's just for today. Oh yeah, and the concert tonight.

Honestly though, I feel no pressure, which is nice for a change. I can't complain about having so much to do (I've a ton of research and practice to get done during the break), because away from college life, there is no spring break. This is just continual work, it's just work without deadlines for the moment, which is so great.

Those of you who have been reading for quite sometime may recall that Clark and Cole had wanted to go to New Orleans for the break, which I considered (correctly) to be a joke (despite Cole's insistance that he was serious as Clark and I rolled our eyes). Well, now the trip is to Albuquerque, which is just for us to get out of Cruces for a few days, which is cool. We can spend an afternoon in MusicMart...hee hee hee.

Mia departed for home (Albuquerque) last night; she won't be returning until Sunday evening, so it looks like I'll be undistracted. While this is sort of good, it sort of sucks, since I don't get to spend much time with her when she's actually here. I did get to have lunch with her yesterday (she vanished into thin air after Winds on Weds.), but only by grabbing her and making sure that she knew I wanted to do that right after she got out of Woodwind Tech class. (I guess she's just so used to me on the run, that she doesn't expect me to want to have lunch with her when I have time off. *laughs*)

Got some in at the gym yesterday too...I put it off until the week was over, much to discover that it's closed today and tomorrow, and then only open on Mon-Thurs next week. What a joke. Maybe tomorrow I'll pay the walk in fee for some other gym. I dunno.

If I was SMART...I'd plan the rest of my lessons for the semester. *smirk*

If I was smart, that is.

"Then, if you are a User, than everything you've done here has been according to some plan, right?"
"Ha! You wish!"

I wonder how much my brother actually wants for his car...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, March 22nd, 2002

Time:9:32 am.

take free enneagram test


Heh...I tied as well. Interesting though - two different extremes, it seems.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 21st, 2002

Subject:Yet another listening exam bombed!
Time:2:43 pm.
Mood: complacent.
Music:The Theme to He-Man...please, just don't ask..
I'd be done if it weren't for jazz sectionals and jazz band tomorrow. *sigh*

But actually, all in all, spring break is essentially here. Except for the recital tonight. And the rehearsal tomorrow night. And the rehearsal Saturday morning, and the performance that night and Sunday afternoon.

Why did Saint-Saens even write a frickin' bass clarinet part anyways? It's just doubled and covered everywhere else, with no chance for it's color to really be heard.

But all in all, things are okay. Listening test is over with (yay, another F! Woo!), and my lessons midterm got postponed until tomorrow (but I feel pretty good about it, actually).

I should spend some time with Mia tonight, after the gig.


Do you have Superpowers??



I took the Paragon Powers Test and tested positive for






Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. How come Kunou has all these really cute cyber-chick-friends? *grin* Granted, I have Maria and Rachel and Anne...but geez, he's got like, thirty of them. Maybe it's because I make too many women jokes. *grin*

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 20th, 2002

Time:9:21 pm.
Spring break is soooooooooooooooo overdue.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, March 19th, 2002

Subject:"The bitch is dead now..." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???
Time:3:29 pm.
*sigh*

I just finished reading Casino Royale last night. A great book. What a crappy ending. (Powerful, but somehow, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was just so much better...of course, CR was his first book, I think...)
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 17th, 2002

Subject:Head hurts...
Time:10:04 pm.
*sigh*
They're at it again. And I've neither the will, energy, nor the time to devote to this.

Superquick update...
Still no real Shour-time...I had a bit of Mia-time, though, this weekend. I have to study tonight, but not until I do some dishes. It's been a while since I did "busy meditation" and the dishes will calm my brain.

On the other hand, the living room is tidy, and the downstairs bathroom is beautiful.

My head and eyes have been hurting lately...time for a new prescription I think. I popped my jaw two weekends ago, and the pain comes back sporadically, so I'm not quite sure what to do about that either.

Spring break is about three weeks overdue. The students are dragging. The faculty is dragging. I'm burnt out, and I haven't even gotten to the major assignments...

The resolution has been made. Fall 2002: Symphonic Winds, and only Symphonic Winds. I'll do Las Cruces Symphony if they pay me. I want my life back.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Friday, March 8th, 2002

Subject:A breather...
Time:10:33 pm.
Mood: drained.
Music:Miko Morikawa...POSITIVE!!!.
Regular Unleaded 1.019 (and so it begins again
Red Swedish Fish Jar: diminishing rapidly!
Bass: not bad
Tenor: getting better
Oboe: coooooool...
Clarinet: *sigh*

Where has Shour been?

Frickin' El Paso! Rehearsed every night this week with the EP Wind Symphony...the gig was tonight, and I'm so glad its over with. Gee, does this mean Shour goes back to having a normal life? No.

Basketball band is over! I get my evenings baaa...oh...the opera is this week.

Opera is over! I get my evening...EPWS needs a bass clarinetist? Desperately? Um...it pays? Okay, I guess.

EPWS is...oh yeah, Jazz and Winds concerts next week, LC Sym.Orchestra begins rehearsing...

Can I just have two evenings off? Please? Sometime? What, the fact that I spend my entire day either teaching or rehearsing or in lecture isn't enough from me anymore? Now all you people out there need to suck me even more dry?

I failed my listening midterm this week because of this. Because of this, a major assignment for that same class is...well, will be late by a full week. I have gotten absolutely NOTHING done in the past THREE lessons, not having practiced, because of all of this. I have not been to the gym in eight days, because of this.

Today is the three month mark for Mia and myself. I've spent perhaps...20 minutes with her today? (The three hours of rehearsals we have together on M-W-F don't count.)

You know what? I don't even want Mia-time.

I just want some F&$%ING SHOUR-time, DAMMIT! When the hell do I get to get in my car before 8pm and just GO HOME for once?







On a lighter note, repairs to the Shourmobile cost $140, took a single day, and they even rebalanced and fixed my window, so not only do I have a driver's side mirror yet again (which is all I paid for), I have a completely functional door window that rolls up and down smoothly and SEALS AIRTIGHT! No more annoying whistle or turbulance at highway speeds!

I wonder if I'm just too damn nice. Maybe I just need to learn to say no to people. "No, I ain't going to do it, no matter how much you pay me..."
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 3rd, 2002

Subject:Superfast Update
Time:2:21 pm.
Regular Unleaded: 0.999
Red Swedish Fish Jar: 1/4 full...better
Winds: Much progress
Band: Much progress
Jazz: Um...*sigh*
Clarinet: Getting a tiny bit more time.

Okay...

Finally got my minidisc recorder. Now I have to buy a good mic for it, which will set me back another $100 or so...but that's not a problem, since I just snagged a $120 gig.

Now my big problem is the $120 gig. It takes up all the time I have this week in the evenings. ANd I mean EVERY night from Monday to Friday. I have midterms to deal with, and this past week, Thursday night was my only night off. This week, no nights off, plus a listening midterm and a take home midterm.

Yikes.

I wonder if Mia's enjoying herself in New Orleans. Now I'm REALLY glad I didn't go.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, February 25th, 2002

Subject:Quick vent...a rare moment...
Time:11:26 pm.
Remember this day. Normally I keep everything under control...some people envy my 'cool' under stressful times. Now I shall do as Tom suggested.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jazz AND Winds concerts in THREE WEEKS after this past one? We had six weeks to prepare for the last concerts...and THIS MUSIC IS HARDER!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

Listening Exam next week...stupid midterm paper thrown together last night and turned in. ACK!

Doktorvan leaves for New Orleans on Wednesday (I chose not to go...playing the opera is more enriching than going to yet ANOTHER Basketball tournament). That leaves who to conduct the top ensemble at the university ... oh yeah. Probably me. No pressure. D'oh!!!

Did I mention the opera is this week? AHHHHHHHHHH!

*pant pant pant*

Okay, I'm done now. On the bright side, the department finally got a Low C bass, even if it is only temporarily.

I think I'll cut and paste this into my journal.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 20th, 2002

Subject:2002 2002 2002....Ooooooh.
Time:8:02 pm.
Mood: weird.
Music:Flintstones Theme...don't ask..
Regular Unleaded: 0.989
Red Swedish Fish Jar: Danger! Danger!
Winds: Um...WOW! Cool stuff!
Band: *does a victory dance*
Jazz: To be announced
Clarinet: I NEED TO PRACTICE!!!

Lotsa stuff to write about. Where do I begin?

Oooookay. The Selmer Low C arrived today. Wow. Nice horn, but the throat Bb sounds TERRIBLE. I wish it had a few more alternate keys for the bottom of the horn, but it's such a blessing in comparison, so I can't complain. And now, cousin, we are so happy, we do the dance of joy!

Moving on...

I NEED TO PRACTICE!!!

Oh yes, my interaction with Domino. She's a babe.

So, yesterday, I'm working the department table at Spring Visitor's Day at Corbett and stuff, and it turns out that Domino was working the info desk, so I went over to chat with her. She and I get on fairly well; we always have, which is kind of weird, since I've known the two section leaders for longer, but now I'm rambling, so anyways, she's working the desk, in her black tank and a glittery black knee high skirt and knee high leather boots. Very sexy. And of course, that massive rock on her left hand. We get to chat about this and that, which is nice, because I hardly get to have a conversation for more than five minutes with her (such is the nature of our occupations). Get this - she's been working the desk for a couple of years, and she and I had an encounter about a year ago that she says embarrassed the hell out of her. Supposedly she was checking out some pictures of the Pride on the web when working at her desk while Cole and I were walking by and I stopped and teased her. Goofy huh?

Aaaaanyways, I DID at one time have a teeny mini-crush on her last semester, and that's all over and done with, but geez, I wish I knew how much fun she was to talk with. Or maybe not, because maybe that would have made the crush worse. Moooooving on.

I NEED TO PRACTICE!!!!
(So you ask, what are you doing online? We're getting to that.)

All throughout my life, I have been occasionally subjected to very vivid dreams. Some are so goofy that I can't get them out of my head, so I write stories about them, or ANYTHING...I just write. It usually works. I had another such dream last night. One unlike any I've ever had.

As usual, a woman was involved, as as usual, it was one whom I know. I cannot mention who this person is, however, because I know that they read this journal, and it could very well weird them out, and I don't want that, because I have a really great friendship with this person, and I really enjoy their company. Anyways, on with it.

(I pointed that out, because the LAST time I had one of these dreams, it was NOT about someone I personally knew, which was a first.)

So, I'm getting married. I can remember as far back as saying the vows and the kiss, and heading back down the aisle. Sounds classy, right? Hmm - here's where the life that is mine intrudes. Do we go to a reception? NO! Head to the car? NO! My new wife gives me another kiss, and tells me she'll see me in the morning. Me? I hop in my M5 (oh yeah...triple black), and GO TO A GIG. I'm not kidding. It's some clarinet gig, too. *shakes head*

So, the next thing is, I'm waking up (in the dream, not in reality), and there's the morning sun gleaming through the curtains. I don't recognize the house, but I see a wedding gown draped over a nearby chair and hear someone in the shower. I sit up, run my hands through my hair, stretch out for a second, hop out of bed, and saunter to the bathroom. I'm still in tux pants and shirt minus bowtie. I pull open the shower curtain, and there she is, back to me, and with one of those poufy things in her hand. She turns her head and gives me a sly smile.
"Hey gorgeous," I greet, smiling back.
"Come to finish what you didn't even get to start last night?"
"Definately an idea worth exploring."
She turns, drops the spongy pouf thing, and sort of tackles me. So, there we are, on the floor, and she's got her arms wrapped around me, me still clothed and her wearing nothing but a soapy sheen and a smile, and we're laughing and giggling like children (amidst kisses that were very not child-like), when after a minute or so of just kissing, she grins and says, "Time for breakfast."

And that's all I can recall. Nothing actual sexual, except for the presence of my naked, soapy wife. The thing that gets me...and this is not a new experience...is the way I was feeling while all this was going on.

It's common knowledge that I'm pretty much sexually inept; I've not even seen a live nude woman, much to the teasing of many of my so called friends. I'm pretty sure that this experience I've described, had it been REAL, would have been my first such experience, and knowing me, I would have been very nervous and apprehensious about just walking up and opening the shower curtain. Knowing me, I would wait for her to...well, do the revealing, I guess. But here I am, just looking on like it's a matter of fact, and not even feeling nervous, but rather, feeling a bit of excitement and anticipation.

And then, once I'm in her arms...feeling so happy...feeling like I was...in love? Was that what it felt like? I can barely remember, but I feel the residue of what I felt last night (as false as it was), and I want that feeling again...that joy, that...completeness. The amazement and awe of just being so close to her and feeling...in love.

(This dream was NOT about Mia.)

I want to be love again...with Mia? Maybe. I can't make myself fall in love with anyone. I'm wondering if I CAN fall in love any more.

"Just what Ah need...thoughts o' you runnin' through mah head twenty-four hours a day."
"How'd dat be any diff'rent den now?"

I wonder...a foreboding? No...She and I??? No...
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, February 19th, 2002

Subject:Surprise surprise!
Time:3:12 pm.
Mood: amused.
Music:Don Giovanni, stuck in my head...the stoned guest, heh....
Regular Unleaded: 0.995
Red Swedish Fish Jar: withdrawals
Winds: Sweet release...
Band: Oboe RULES!
Jazz: Yay for relaxation...
Clarinet: er...

And with the end of the Honor Band weekend, so life returns to normal. What? Opera? D'oh!!!

Kaichan is visiting the US. I have no clue where she is. Nor do I have time to travel and meet her. Boo for THAT! But she's writing more often, which is at least a good side effect. The American tendency to talk too much may be rubbing off on to her. *grin*

I should be practicing now. I'll get to it.

So, why write now? No chance later - opera rehearsal, then ballgame, then work on the Mozart analysis for tomorrow morning. But what is there to write about, you ask?

I actually called home.

Holly, wipe that look of mock-disbelief off of your face this instant!

Anyways, yeah, I was napping last night (that's a whole other story, remind me later...it involves yesterday, Domino, and my suit), when the phone drags me from blissful slumber. Who is it?

MY OLDEST BROTHER. What the...? Calling from Dallas, just wanted to chat. How groovy is this? I hadn't really seen him in a while; he didn't come out for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's funny how we can really talk now - we couldn't when I was younger. I actually really didn't like the guy, but in recent years, we get along great. Last night, I teased him about his girlfriends in Costa Rica and Columbia; he teased me about the Shourmobile...maybe because as usual, he wants to sell the car to me so he can buy something else.

(I WAS tempted...it's a '94 MX-6 with the V6...not the hottest car on the street, but certainly more stylish than my three cylinder blowdryer...I'm STILL tempted.)

So we talked for half an hour or so, and then I decided to call mom and dad. Talked to them for a little longer than an hour. It was nice...I don't really MISS them, but it's good to know how they're doing, ya know?

Did my tax return this morning. Took 20 minutes, and I'm getting $800 back...minidisc minidisc minidisc...

No Rogue/Gambit quote today...memory block.

I wonder when I'm just going to get it together???
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Sunday, February 17th, 2002

Time:6:40 pm.
Thanks to Kaichan for this one...hee hee.







What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? .







Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.




Anyone up for the Pulp Fiction drinking game? Drink whenever any variance of the word "fuck" is used.



Are you Addicted to the Internet?

41%


Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.




The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!





Sounds aboot right.


Which Action Star Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Who else? *smirk*
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, February 15th, 2002

Time:4:23 pm.
27% addicted to Instant Messenger. How about you?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, February 12th, 2002

Subject:Brilliant
Time:5:45 pm.
Mood: tired.
Music:Mozart: Sym.40 in G minor..."It's a bird, it's a plane...".
Regular Unleaded: Didn't check today
Red Swedish Fish Jar: Yeeg! Help!!!
Winds (BsCl): Ewazen feels great, Poema feels much better!
Band (Ob): Kickin' all sorts of ass...to an extent
Jazz (TSx): Today went really good, actually
Clarinet: Uh...burnt out...lesson tomorrow...not good.

Josh's new machine lives! I'm not allowed to play yet, though. I have to learn all the rules and go to a Saturday Lab Assistant session, and also leave my spleen on deposit. Problem being that Doktorborshay has my spleen since I'm using his bass clarinet. D'oh.

I destroyed myself at the gym yesterday - all I did was one minor change up. I switched inclines to first and flat benches to second, and I actually feel it today. My metabolism is in high gear too.

Found a gift for Mia - a student in my class this morning mentioned books and poetry, so I went out and found a really good one. It was Ellen, the one who thought Monday's test was easy. She then went on about how brilliant she thinks I am, and how she feels that the book that I teach from is holding me back, and that I shouldn't use it, because I'm brilliant enough (I'm not kidding, that's the word she used) to teach the class without it. She'd rather hear me lecture at 100 miles an hour and go off on a billion different tangents than have me check the book and suddenly stall. I dunno quite how to take that; in fact, it was somewhat unnerving.

"It's so amazing - I mean, you have this Bachelor's degree, and there you are in front of us, and the knowledge you spout is endless, and I can't imagine any other sort of general ed class being half as rewarding as what I get from you in a single lecture."

Um....kay. Did I mention that I told my boss that he needed to get back into the groove? *sigh*

I've a lesson with I AM HILLARY in half an hour. Whee! Then maybe a nap before BJQ. We'll see.

"You are DEADER THAN A SNOWMAN IN JULY! An' Ah mean TV-movie-of-the-week-CNN-all-day-coverage kinda dead!"

I wonder if Doktorborshay will still be sick tomorrow? Far be it from me to wish the worst of someone's health, but I could really use the morning off...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, February 11th, 2002

Subject:FEARLESS!
Time:6:20 pm.
Mood:retarded.
Are fearlessness and stupidity linked?

An excerpt from a conversation I was having with Doktorvaan this morning...

Shour: "You should do a few more games, you know, to get back in the groove before the tournament."
Dok: "Aah, I think I'll be okay."

Yeah, Shour...real credible. You've been an "assistant director" for a whole of six months, and you're going to tell your boss, who's been directing for years upon years upon years that you think he needs to get back in the groove?

*drops head onto desk*
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LiveJournal for Shouryu, eh?.

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