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Matt

[ website | Home Sleep Home ]
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Umm...what? [08 Feb 2002|12:27am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Blink 182 - Story Of A Lonely Guy ]

I woke up at 11, messed around for two hours then Pat dropped by. We went to Blimpies, where I had my all-time favorite, the meatball sub. Footlong, mind you, none of that pansy ass six inch sandwiches that tease your appetite and, just as it's starting to really taste good...oh wait, where did the *OTHER* six inches go? Yeah you know what I'm talking about. Damn six inch subs...

Then we went to Barnes & Noble where I picked up the novel to go alongside the movie we saw...again, "A Walk To Remember." It was 30% off, so it was only five bucks and change. Heck effing yeah biotch. What's up now?

Then it was movie time. And, yes, I got choked up...again, and at all the same parts. This time, I didn't try to contain my tears. I just started gushing. It was a sight to be seen. And I am secure enough with my masculinity and to admit it. I am Matt, hear me roar.

Anyway, yeah, I still want a girl who has values and who is a GOOD PERSON, who HAS VALUES and who is not FUX0R3D UP MENTALLY. That would be nice. Is that really too much to ask? Seriously, now. Out of the 150,000 people in Vancouver, I know there is at least one who is what I am looking for, or at least close enough to where I won't mind all that much.

Whoa I got off track and in a big way. I'm really not that desperate, by the way. Back to my LJ entry. I'm thinking that I'm going to go see the movie again and again and again and, perhaps, I might go see it again. I'm not sure, though.

Then went over to Best Buy, where I picked up the Blink 182 DVD and High Fidelity on DVD, which is one of my "all-time top 5 favorites movies." You'd get that joke if you've seen the movie. It hits on all cylinders right from the get-go and doesn't stop. Not during the whole movie.

It gets better every time I see it, but admittedly, this is the first time I've seen it since being in or getting out of a relationship and the emotional diarrhea that goes with it all. Is there really a harder guy in Hollywood to dislike than John Cusack?

I went over to Chris's house today to drop off a couple burned CDs. While over there, I watched him play a little X-box, then we messed around on the computer for a bit. It was pretty laid back. Came home, ate dinner and watched High Fidelity.

Midway through, I took a sleeping pill which would have knocked me out, should I have had the sense to stop the movie when it started to initially kick in. Of course, I kept watching it as if I would never see it again, then I came in here and am talking to the other Chris about music and stuff, which is rad. It's nice to talk to someone who understands the music, the psyche, the fans. I wish I made more sense but I'm not. So I will stop trying.

Return to work tomorrow. Ahhh fun. I find out if I'm working on Valentine's Day, which I almost surely am, since I'm the only parcel who is single. That just dawned on me as I typed it. How strange. How so very strange.

Well I suppose I oughta get to bed, or at least just post this damn entry, since I've been typing it on and off for almost two hours now. Leave me alone! Go! Shoo! NOW!!!!!!

~Matt

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Busy [06 Feb 2002|05:07pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | Weezer - Photograph ]

Not long after I posted my journal entry this morning, I sat in front of my computer for awhile longer. Then I got up and made super chocolately nuggets. I think I botched the recipe, but they're still pretty good. While those were settling, I made two servings of boxed mashed potatoes. They were very very delicious, and I'll probably end up living off them when I get my own apartment.

Then I did the dishes and took out the trash and cleaned up. And ate super chocolately nuggets.

I LOVE MASHED POTATOES IN A BOX


"I think I'd be good for you, and you would be good for me."

I'm singing along to Weezer.

I updated Home Sleep Home earlier today with three new writings. One is about my first time, one is about not getting over a girl, and one is not about boxed mashed 'taters.

Welp I'm gonna go watch the Blazer game now. Never got around to cleaning my room, but....mmm...I want some Mountain Dew.

I'm going to marry Mandy Moore.


Oh yes...just wait and see.


LJ-worthy Convo between me and Mom.

Me: I'm gonna grow a beard.
Mom: Oh really?
Me: Yeah...can you tell?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: REALLY!?!?!
Mom: No.
Me: *ROLF DIEZZZZ LAFFIN' OMG HAHAHAHA LOL ROLF*

Okay, so maybe that wasn't an LJ-worthy conversation? But I posted it BECAUSE I CAN AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!! *ROFL OMG I'm SOOOO FUNNY LOLZ*


So I've been bored today. I'm gonna watch the Blazer game now. Wait a minute, I already said that, didn't I? Anyway bye.

~Matt
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[06 Feb 2002|11:55am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | Deftones - Back To School (Mini-Maggit) ]

Work went alright last night --- more recovery. It wasn't so bad, because I was hauling butt the whole time. When I found out that it had to be completely done by the time I went home, I kicked it into high gear and only ended up staying for an extra hour. Same thing Friday, I'm assuming. Hopefully I'll be out of there on time (wishful thinking).

I've been listening to the Deftones alot lately, and I've been writing alot lately. Not a good combination. Still...I'm happy with some of the pieces I'm working on. A couple of them are good enough to go on "Home Sleep Home," yet a few more are more suitable for my Ricky Martin notebook. I never write anything directly for "Home Sleep Home"; it just so happens that my personal favorites end up there.

I have all today off with nothing going!!!!!!!!! Wooooooo that's a first. Every day for the past three weeks or so, I've always been doing *SOMETHING* like going to a concert or movie or ... whatever, but tomorrow- --- nothing. Anyone wanna change that? No? Nah didn't think so.

This is the first time in a long time I haven't "liked a girl." All last year, up through November, I liked Andrea. Even after the shit hit the fan. Then I got over her and there was this other girl, but ... *shrugs* that's not gonna happen. And now, there isn't a girl I like as "more than a friend," and it's weird. I'm not used to it. That sounds pathetic, but there's always been a girl I've been interested in. Except now.

Note to self: Clean room.

Bye for now. I hope everyone has a good day and that things go fairly well. If they don't, well, I'm gonna karate kick your butt. Not really, but y'know...right.

~Matt

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When there's no place left to go. [05 Feb 2002|12:30am]
[ mood | nerdy ]
[ music | New Found Glory - Hit Or Miss ]

My last few days have been going by so quickly, but I can't remember the majority of them, nor have I done anything memorable in that time. It seemed like just yesterday that I started this current ive day work week that I'm still in, but tomorrow night will be my fifth day in a row, earning me Wednesday and Thursday off. It's mind-boggling. Time shouldn't be flying by this quickly.

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination."
Anon.

You damn right.

So I woke up this morning, took my dad to work and came home. I spent most of the day on my computer or up at Clark College, where I was turning in financial aid applications and such. It was frustrating, having to sort through all the papers and worry about what I might have forgetten back at my house. Luckily, I got everything done and turned in, and I am now just sitting back and waiting.

Then I went to work from 5-9:30. I was scheduled as recovery again, so my job consisted of facing and leveling the shelves. I'm not complaining, because I really don't mind the easy work, but pulling a recovery shift is mind-numbing. Just standing there, facing and leveling ... facing ... leveling. The only real escape you have from this monotonous world are the typically rude and/or angry customers who believe it is your fault and your fault alone when they realize that Fred Meyer is out of the 48 oz. apple juice that is on sale this week.

Anyway, sometime around 8, I asked to go on brake. I needed something to drink in the worst way. I started walking up front when I saw Samantha cross my path on her way back to her department.

Now, let's back up here. There's this girl who just started last week named Samantha (obviously). I only talked to her briefly, and she seemed like a cool person to talk to. She's really pretty, but in a different way. It's not the glamourous type of pretty, but I'm having trouble finding the words to describe what I mean. I see her face and keep thinking that I've seen it somewhere else before, but I just can't pin down *WHERE* it was. It's frustrating, but I don't mind seeing her at work every day at all, I'll put it that way.

Okay back to the story.

So Samantha crosses my path, flashes a smile and says "hi," which in my book, is typically a good sign. I keep walking without saying a word in return. I don't even nod my head in an effort to say "I'm too cool to waste breath on you." Not even that. I just kept on walking. Oh sure, I made eye contact, which combined with the lack of a proper response in this case, spells "INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE" in big red letters on my forehead to the unknowing co-worker.

In other words, the odds of her knowing that I was zoned out from recovery are probably slim to none, so now she'll think I'm just a jerk. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Somewhere near the peppermint ice cream on the very same aisle, I realized that I had just flubbed up. My mind had been completely turned off, my social skills seemingly drained by the endless facing. I wanted to say something in return, perhaps even something witty, but .... nothing came out.

It wasn't that I was "intimidated" by a hot girl or anything, it was just ......I was so "out of it" thanks to recovery that I didn't even have it in me to respond with something as simple or as short as "hey," which would have been sufficient, had I been able to actually talk and all.

So that's how a two second instance can spark a LiveJournal entry essay.

I got off at 9:30, went by Safeway to get bread and talked to a few of my old co-workers. It was great. Then I came home, and here I am, waiting for this sleeping pill to kick in. Assuming I get up early enough tomorrow, I'm looking at finishing a few poems, revising some old ones and starting a couple new pieces. Then it's 4 hours of work, followed by two days off. w00t w00t! Not like I need any rest, but it'll be cool to have a l'il downtime.

I decided what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. The rough sketch I have in my head is me, a large pizza and the entire Evil Dead Trilogy (on DVD, of course). I think I'll forego the whole "feeling sorry for myself" schtick this year, a drastic change from last year ... and the year before that, and the year before that and .... hey! I'm noticing a pattern here!

Anyway, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself or feel bad, much less give a shit that I'm not with a girl. I'll find the right one, it's just a matter of patience. I think I've got the whole "self confidence" roadblock cleared, which is what plagued me more than anything else all through high school and up through a couple months ago.

heh what is it with my inability to just write one or two sentences in my LiveJournals? I mean, nothing exciting went on today, but I've turned this into a short story. Oh well, I love writing. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. I hope you have a good night.

Nude in the gutter is how I was found.

Ciao.

~Matt

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I've been wondering... [04 Feb 2002|12:54am]
[ mood | geeky ]
[ music | Unwritten Law - Cailin ]

I had dinner last night and got to bed sometime around 2 or 3, but not until I was finished tidying up my room while talking to Teah. It was quite pathetic, cleaning my room in the later hours on a Saturday night. Today, I woke up at 10:30 and realized I hadn't done nearly enough. So, tomorrow, I think I'm gonna get around to finishing it up.

Anyway, I woke up at 10:30, and my Mom was still trying to make up for yesterday's argument, which I've completely put behind me and forgotten, especially since I'm very non-confrontational and all. Anyway, she went to the store, and I spent the majority of my day on the computer and watching The Sandlot.

Then I left around 4, got dinner and went to work. I was the closing front end parcel, so it was my responsibility to clean all the checkstands so they would be presentable in the morning. For the first time since starting at Fred Meyer, I had everything done on time and was ready to go at 11.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, since the hours are nice), my boss asked me to stay an extra twenty minutes. It wasn't any big deal and I was gone at 11:20. I came home and here I am now. I have to get up at 8 to take my Dad to work, and I'm starting to get extremely sleepy now.

To continue my whole ranting about girls and relationships, I think what I was and have been trying to say is that it would be nice to find a girl with values. Imagine that. It doesn't seem like there are a lot of girls out there still with values and good personalities. I had a lot more to say here, but none of it sounded right, so I gave up on trying to make it work.

I'm not interested in the physical, I'm not interested in being your stereotypical asshole guy. If you really need to ask what I *AM* interested in, then you haven't been reading my LJs hard enough, now have you? :-) Or maybe I haven't been that clear in my entries. Oh well. You get the point. Or you don't. If you really care, then just IM me.

But saying that I want a girl with actual values is just finally a way for me to put into words what I was trying to convey a couple days ago. Gee I don't know. I'm sure there's one for me, which is a totally different tone than I would have had six months ago. I'm not worrying about it in the negative, depressed way at all, so I hope it doesn't come off like that. :-)

This rant wasn't all that great, nor did it make sense, but I'm getting sleepy over here, and I just felt like getting it all off my chest. Knowing me, I'm sure I'll elaborate or explain more some other time. That is why I love having a LiveJournal. I can get stuff off my chest pretty easily.

There are a couple pieces that I'm working on for Home Sleep Home currently. Maybe I'll upload them tomorrow or Tuesday. I've been noticing that some of my somewhat recent works have been negative, so I'm going to try and end that trend. One such piece is an article about "my first time." That's all I'm going to say about that. You'll understand it when you read it.

boom shackalacka yo here comes the chief rocka

Bye.

~Matt

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It seemed like yesterday [02 Feb 2002|11:33pm]
[ mood | geeky ]
[ music | Unwritten Law - Mean Girl ]

Shortly after I posted this afternoon, I argued with my Mom about a variety of issues, leaving me in a rather foul mood as I started work.

I wanted to slap every customer who responded to my greetings with anything less than a peppy smile and a hearty response.

I wanted to slap every customer who was peppy, if for no other reason than because they were so happy in their own world.

I didn't want to greet customers. I didn't want to associate with customers. I went out of my way to find something wrong about *EVERY* customer and complain to myself about them until the next customer came along.

Simply put, you couldn't please me today. I carried the argument with Mom over to work and basically let it hang over my head for the first two hours. Then at break time, I just told myself this was getting ridiculous and re-grouped. The last three hours went by much smoother, as I just walked in the door.

While I was out today, I picked up the new Unwritten Law CD, which is simply amazing. Next week, I'm looking at getting their self-titled album. Ever since their show last Wednesday, I've been queueing up their MP3s and letting 'em play ad naseum.

My mom apologized the second I walked in the door tonight, not an entirely unexpected move. I'm waiting to call Dave or go get dinner now. I don't have anything else to talk about right now, but I'll find something later. Have a good night.

~Matt

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Changes [02 Feb 2002|02:32pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Unwritten Law - Cailin ]

I made it through work just fine last night, and I ended up working an extra hour. This was only because I assisted a blind man shopping for fourty five minutes or so. I remembered him from Safeway and helping him shop there, so it was pretty fun. I didn't mind it at all. So then as soon as I got home, I called Dave back and jolted over to his place.

I helped his girlfriend with her paper; then, we spent the next three hours or so shooting the breeze, or whatever the cliche is pertaining to joking around, talking and having a good time. Dave gave me some good advice about girls, too.

I think I've decided that I'm not going to "change myself" and be more aggressive, which is what some people had told me to do if I wanted success with girls. We talked about this last night, and it made a lot of sense.

This aggressiveness they want to instill in me is supposed to lead to some sort of physical relationship; at least, that's the impression I am getting. Honestly, I'm not even interested in anything physical. I've kind of realized that I was believing some things for the wrong reasons, so now I'm righting my wrongs now. At least I'm trying, anyway.

Bottom line - I'm not going to change and try to be someone else for the sake of a girl or a relationship. If a girl doesn't like me for who I am ... her loss.

I woke up this morning at 11, and it's been really weird. I'll have these short spurts of severe sleepiness, but for the most part, I'm doing alright. Later on today or early tomorrow, I'm going to buy an Unwritten Law CD, fill my Dad's tire with air and get a plastic mat for my computer chair.

But in the meantime, I gotta go to work tonight. It's a 6-11 closing shift, which isn't bad. I think I'm primarily closing front end tonight, which means it'll be more or less a cakewalk for me. Watch...I'll say that, and it will be a completely disasterous evening. :-)

Anyway, have a good night, everyone. And have a good weekend, too. Enyjoy the sunshine, my fellow Vancouver-ites. We don't get nearly enough of it during the winter.

I feel like I'm forgetting some inane detail that I had planned on posting here, but I forget what it is. I'll be updating Home Sleep Home in a couple days, too. That wasn't the inane detail...I'm just saying. Right.

~Matt

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[01 Feb 2002|04:34pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]
[ music | Soggy Bottom Boys - I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow ]

Got up around 10 and came out into the living room, where I noticed the house was a complete disaster area. This comes one day after my Mom scorned me for not cleaning up. Oh I never mentioned that in my LJ yesterday. Let's go back to yesterday

I got home form the movie and my Dad told me that Mom was unhappy with how the house looked when she got home. Now, keep in mind, when I went to the movie, there was about four or five dishes in the sink. There must have been more when she got home, because she ended up doing the dishes. So she was mad I didn't do more around the house yesterday. The one day of the year that I *DON'T* clean up as much as my Mom wants me to...I get in trouble.

Anyway back to the story. So I woke up at 10, checked e-mail and the like and then at 11, Pat stopped by. We picked up my check and went to lunch. I got home around 12:30 or 1, I don't exactly remember. In that time, I vacuumed the whole house, did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, did two batches of laundry, made my Dad's bed (he never makes it), cleaned the pellet stove, filled the pellet stove and cleaned all the glass tables.

If my Mom's not happy when she gets home...I'm going to set this house on fire. I'm not joking. Either that or I'm going to force two squirrels make love and force her to watch.

I'm very tired today. I have enough energy if the situation calls for it, but I'm trying to stockpile it for work tonight. I'm only scheduled for four hours, but it's the first of the month, which means all the food stamp cards were activated today. Of course, we will be extremely busy. If I only work four hours, it will be a miracle.

I laughed harder last night than I have in ages. I went to bed WHAT?!? with a terrible aching on my side. I think I laughed until I cried. I was in a chat room with Chris, his roomate, WHAT?!? Sean and this girl named WHAT?!? Nikki, who I believe now hates Chris and I. To explain or repeat the more memorable jokes WHAT?!? from last night would be pointless. It just wouldn't be as funny. All I'm gonna say is that I'm never trusting WHAT?!? Chris with a baseball bat ever again, nor will I ever look at WHAT?!? bullfrogs the same way. WHAT?!?

Our icemaker quit working, so I've been chugging semi-warm Mountain Dews all day long, since it's the only pop I will drink from a can. I want to watch "A Walk To Remember" again. It was such a touching, good movie. I can't explain on a journal why I liked it so much - maybe because I want a girl like the girl in the movie, and maybe because I'm like the guy in hte movie. Or something like that. I downloaded the trailer this morning and it almost made me tear up. Why the hell am I so emotional anymore? I mean, this is the same guy who laughed at the Titantic.

And now, I'm getting all weepy over a Mandy Moore movie. MANDY FRICKIN' MOORE!!!! I want to see that movie again. I mean...it won't be remembered (by critics or even the general public) for being so emotional in the future, but...geesh I'm such a wimp. Oh well. Life's more fun that way. I love that movie. I LOVE IT I TELL YOU

I also want to watch "O Brother Where Art Thou?" again, so I'm downloading the DVD rip of it from Morpheus. Now I just need to see all the other Coen Brothers movies.

Bye.

~Matt

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i grab the mic and flip my tongue like a dyke [01 Feb 2002|01:35am]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | System of a Down - Chop Suey! ]

so i woke up at 8:00 after four hours of sleep...I think I covered this in my previous journal entry.

Then Pat came over and we went to Muchas Gracias then to Barnes & Noble, where I picked up the newest "Alternative Press." Then we went to see "A Walk To Remember," which was a really sad movie. Chick flick all the way, and I totally dug it. I was holding back the tears Swear to God.

And even though it was Hollywood, it made me realize something very improtant --- I dont give a fuck about getting phsyical with a girl...Because what they shared in the movie was something beyond that. It was more special than making out and crap like that. It might sound superficial or whatever, but I don't care. I'm happy with just kissing...with just looking into a girls eyes...with just being happy. I want to feel that emotion, that passion, that feeling, that actual caring and love...Not what most teenage relationships are. I want something different.

I know it sounds bogus or pathetic, because it's only a movie, but I don't care. I think I'm one step closer toward taking a huge step toward...*gulp*...maturity.

Then I came home, had pizza, bought a DVD for Dave and went over to his house. Helped his girlfriend with her essay then watched "O Brother Where Art Thou" then came home.

And here I am. Still a little sad after the movie this afternoon. That had a huge impact on me, how I look at relationships and what I want out of them.

Peace out. Everyone reading this...umm...If you are reading this, post a comment about...i dont know...How about...The last good movie you saw.

~Matt

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[31 Jan 2002|09:49am]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Unwritten Law - Cailin ]

Jacob and I grabbed Muchas for lunch, came home, watched American Pie 2 then went to the Roseland. We got lost on the way and ended up on Terwilliger Blvd. Eventually, we found Roseland an hour before the concert was supposed to start.

What I noticed initially was that there were TONS and TONS of girls who looked to be no older than fourteen. Comparitively speaking, Jacob and I were senior citizens. The majority of the fans there were your average, run-of-the-mill "punk for the sake of punk" disenchanted high school suburbinites, a club which must not allow members over the age of fourteen or fifteen.

I say this solely because there so many small people there. I didn't even get into the moshpits - I didn't want to hurt the kids whose entire bodies were the size of my left leg. Jacob wanted to get into a pit, and they were springing up all around us, and trust me, it looked like so much fun to be in there. I just didn't want to inadvertantly really hurt a small person, which surely would have happened if I had gotten in there.

Opening was Gob, a Canadian punk quartet not unlike Blink 182, at least in terms of sense of humor and music style. They put on a good set, but I'm no more inspired to buy their CD than I was before the concert. The put a ton of energy into their set, and it showed.

Next up was Unwritten Law, who are in many ways, a semi-underground carbon copy of Blink 182. The main difference, though, is that Unwritten Law doesn't have nearly the same sense of humor as Blink. Their big song on the radio right now is "Seein' Red," but I recognized alot of songs they performed. I really enjoyed this set, too.

Then was the main act....Sum 41. The intro from their album blared over the P.A. as they took the stage. They opened with Motivation and then proceeded to spend the next hour and fifteen minutes jumping around the stage like a group of squirrel monkies on speed. They went through the majority of their major label debut, "All Killer, No Filler," while throwing in a handful of songs from their EP, "Half Hour Of Power."

At one point, Deryk got up on top of the amps (about twenty feet up) and busted out a gnarly solo. Not long after that, they invited two girls to come up on stage and make out with each other during "Rhythms," but an exception was made when one girl deemed to hot to pass up was invited on stage. So for a couple minutes during the song, there were three girls up on stage, making out with each other, all the while the band kept on playing.

At one point, Dave and Deryk had a guitar solo competition to see who was the better guitarist, and while they did this...oh my God they're so much better than they lead on during their albums. Then they asked the crowd for their favorite heavy metal bands so that Dave could grind through a few riffs from that band. I'm impressed with their guitarist - he knew Slayer, Motley Crue *AND* Iron Maiden. A pop-punk band!!! Iron Maiden!! I couldn't believe it.

Oh sure, they threw in their hits, too, for good measure. We were treated to "In Too Deep" about half way through their set, and "Fat Lip" capped off the whole night, save for the encore. Crowd participation was unbelieveable --- *EVERYONE* was singing along. It was a great feeling.

Then after the encore, they came back out and played one more song, the title of which is escaping me right now. Then they dipped into "Pain For Pleasure" with Deryk on drums. This amazing '80's glam rock tribute song brought out the members of Gob to play guitars along with the boys of Sum 41, seeing as how this was the last night of the tour and all.

So the night was over. What I kept noticing during the Sum 41 set was how much energy they put into each and every show and how much they love playing their music. I got such a kick out of how well they get along and how much fun they're having while up on stage. I have yet to see a band with that drive and fun-loving carelessness while playing on stage. This was a special thing to see.

After the concert, Jacob and I got lost trying to get to the freeway and ended up wayy off course. I knew where in Portland we were, so I directed us to the nearest ramp, which happened to be closed due to construction. So we came up with the idea of getting on the southbound ramp, not the northbound ramp as originally planned, and then taking the next exit and turning around. Sounds simple, right?

Well the exit Jacob took was to get onto I-405, not a simple street exit or anything like that. So we crossed the Willamette River again on I-405 (I Think it was 405, anyway...), took the Everett Street exit and turned around. No problems. Got back on 405 and then onto I-5 and were home free. Picked up Muchas Gracias for dinner after the concert and came home.

Jacob decided to skip his 9 a.m. class in favor of staying up to watch Fight Club. So we watched it came to bed around 2. Stayed up for an hour and a half talking about all kinds of ... crap. We made fun of each other and didn't talk about anything serious and ... it was so cool. Just jivin' non-stop.

But anyway, the plan was to set the alarm for 8, and if Jacob got up, then he would go to class. If not, I would still be sleeping right now. Anyway, the alarm went off at 8, and he got up and left. I tried going back to sleep but it wasn't happenin'. Here we are.

Going to see A Walk To Remember and going to Best Buy today. Umm...I need to shave, and I'm tired. But you know...It's all gravy. I tried posting last night, but I was too tired to remain on the computer for long, and what I had written didn't really do the whole evening justice.

Hope everyone's doing okay, I know I am. Hope everyone has a great day, I know I will. I'm tired, but I'm also happy. I'll sleep well tonight.

~Matt

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It's not meant to hurt you [30 Jan 2002|01:36am]
[ mood | geeky ]
[ music | Sum 41 - Makes No Difference ]

There was this guy tonight who came into the store, picked up a stereo and just tried to walk out with it. He was stopped by a manager, and when accused, the guy in question merely complained that "it was a gift." If you are confused by what I just said, take a number. The guy was taking the stereo while trying to pass it off as a gift. Right.

I hadn't been kept late for two or three days now, so I knew they were long overdue. I stayed until 12:15, instead of 11:00, which is when I was *SUPPOSED* to get off work. Once I got off work, I picked up Muchas Gracias and came home to relax, which brings me to right now.

Blazers won tonight, which was groovy.

I just noticed...All my LJ friends are girls.

While working tonight, I saw this girl who I had in speech class awhile back. While the class was going on, I thought she was really really hot. Then the quarter went on and I got to know her, and her personality really ruined it for me. Her attitude was the all too familiar "me, me, me, it's all about me" attitude with a dash of preppy rich girl thrown on for good measure. So anyway...I saw her tonight. It wasn't fun. But I am surprised she remembered me.

That's the main thing I have such a problem with. Guys will "spit game" to girls who are hot, but invariably, the girl on the receiving end of such "game" has nary a personality, or at least a really crappy one, at that.

Anyway, this is why I'm not like and never will be like other guys. For me, personality makes the beauty in the girl. If she's really personable, friendly and interesting, then she's beautiful, in my eyes. But if she's like "oh I went shopping, and I bought clothes that are three sizes too small, then I made myself throw up my lunch then I, like, you know, drove my Honda..." you get the point. I hear that way too much. Hearing shallow shit like that makes me want to verbally bitchslap a girl for being so...so...vain.

Where did that rant comes from?

That's the other thing I noticed --- a girl who is being hit on by a guy...Consider this. When the guy is hitting on you at a party or social gathering, spitting lines and weaseling his way into your pants, think about what he's saying. Essentially, it boils down to, "I got really hammered tonight and have failed to nail any other drunken skank here, so I guess you're my last hope. You have nice boobs" *sigh* Guys like that give guys like me a bad reputation. Wait a minute, I don't have a reputation.
On a lighter note, I was busy thinking at work tonight. About writing. It's all I wanted to do. I got this melody in my head and these lyrics that I was coming up with as I went. It was very spontanious, very beautiful. I ran inside to write the lyrics down, and as I did, I was stopped by a checker wanting a carryout. Crap. So I got caught up talking to the customer and proceeded to forget all the lyrics with the exception of one line. GRRRRRRR That made me mad.

Anyway, I'm writing this poem/song now from this one line now, relating to one subject that really defines me for the better part of last year. I wish I could remembe what was in my head, I just remember the the lyrics were very, very personal and extremely ... good.

Tomorrow, I'm just sittin' around the house up until the evening when I go see SUM 41 IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm very excited. It's going to be a great show.

Have a good night, all. I hope everyone is doing okay.

~Matt

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My worst fear has been confirmed. I...am...Canada. [29 Jan 2002|11:43am]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | Green Day - J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva) ]




take
the "which country are you?" quiz here
.  by
littlelamb.


Dear God...Save us all...Not Canada. Anything...Anywhere but Canada.

Shut up Lena. I know what you're thinking. :-)



I got home from work last night, grabbed dinner and talk to friends for...maybe a half-hour, at most. I fell asleep at midnight and never got around to writing. I wanted to and felt like it, but everytime I sat down to do it, I just got nothin'. Everything I wrote didn't sound right. Needless to say, nothing I wrote last night will *EVER* see the light of day again.

la la la it's snowing again. Little itty bitty flakes, but flakes nonetheless.

So anyway I woke up at nine this morning, after I woke up from a dream in which I was about to get into a fist-fight with my Dad. Took him to work and came home, and here I am. I've been in between entering this entry and checking out Blazers news for the past hour or so now.

I work tonight from 5-11, then I *THINK* I'm going over to Dave's, although I'm not totally sure what the plan is right now. But for now, I'm gonna go do some chores and watch Fight Club. I don't know....Oh yeah I have financial aid forms to fill out. And there was something else...what was there?

I have an itchy throat.

~Matt
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I don't give a shit if I even have to wake up in the morning [28 Jan 2002|04:54pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Offspring - Staring At The Sun ]

Last night after I laid down, I was listening to a CD and it started skipping like crazy, but much worse than any other time before. I mean, it was just AWFUL. So, not wanting to wake my Mom up, instead of kicking my stereo's fruity booty again, I chucked the CD in there across the room.

I'm going to look at a new CD player as soon as humanly possible; this is getting ridiculous. All my CDs skip or won't even play in my CD player, but yet they work fine in my computer, in the car and in every other CD player on Earth. Just not mine.

I woke up at noon, took a shower and went to Safeway to have lunch with my Dad. I ate my first Express Special since July. It's been way too long; those are my favorite. Then now I came home and am getting ready for work.

Tonight, once I get off work, I'm coming home and writing. I have a few ideas for poems and songs that I raelly want to work on; maybe, I'll get around to that. Mainly, though, I want to be asleep by midnight. Seeing as how I'm supposed to be off at ten, I think it's a reasonable goal. I want to get back to sleeping from 11pm to 8am or something along those lines --- I hate sleeping until noon.

Nothing else really noteworthy to talk about today, at least not yet. I'm on this Offspring binge now. And the Sum 41 show is on Wednesday. The snow is gone, but it's sunny outside. It's so gorgeous out there. Well, now the sun is setting, so it's even more beautiful. It feels like Heaven when I walk outside. Everything is beautiful.

~Matt

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yo [28 Jan 2002|03:10am]
[ mood | awake ... but not for long ]
[ music | The Get Up Kids - Ten Minutes ]



Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite??
Quiz



I suppose it could be worse. Wait a minute...no, it couldn't! This sucks ass! But why did they need two adjectives in there? Just being a "cold fish" or "dead fish" was insulting enough, but BOTH cold *AND* dead? Wow...that hurt. That cut me deep.

Well, I've never gotten "that far" with a girl, and now after this, I'm sure I never will. All because I don't want her to compare me to or refer to me as a "cold, dead fish." Ahhhh I'm scarred for life.


Went to work and did more of the usual. I don't dislike my job, but it's mildly repetetive. In any event, it still has more variety than working at Safeway. I can't really say which I like better, though. They each have their own perks.

Then I went straight over to Dave's, where I helped him and his girlfriend edit her English essay. All in all, it was a blast. Dave and I were cracking jokes the whole time, and his girlfriend started getting in on them. I had so much fun hanging out wtih them.

Then I came home and did nothing. I had a Mountain Dew and a piece of yellow cake.

And now. It's bed time. Tomorrow I'm working and sitting on my butt. Perhaps I will watch Fight Club, seeing as how I haven't watched it in awhile. Or American Pie 2...hmm...

Life is beautiful. I wish I could make other people see what I see, sometimes.

~Matt
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Have another Mountain Dew, Matt! [27 Jan 2002|02:35pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | Sum 41 - Pain for Pleasure ]

I drank two cans of generic brand Mountain Dew at the same time, and now I'm about as wired as you can be...Especially since I'm on an empty stomach. I need to try that new Mountain Dew Energy Drink. I've heard many good things about that.

And then...let's see...I did the dishes from breakfast and my hands are all pruney (I HATE THAT!!! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!!!) so I drank another Mountain Dew.

Then I sat down at my computer and did all kinds of wonderful things. I was listening to a CD player in my stereo at the time, but it kept skipping incessantly. So, I started beating the shit out of my stereo, but it kept skipping. So, to forget about that, I drank another Mountain Dew.

Then I was talking to dulzura on AIM, and she commented on how she wanted to learn more English, so being the helpful chap that I am, I taught her what I consider to be one of the most important words in the English language: bling bling. Tomorrow's lesson will be "ghetto." ;-)

I feel like running out in the snow. In a thong. And then covering myself in snow and running up and down the street, yelling "AAAHHHH I AM THE SNOW MONSTER!!!! GIVE ME YOUR SNOW!!! AHHHHH!!!!"

Aw nuts the sun is coming out. Well I'm gonna go hope in the shower now...and let the midgets clean me off.

~Matt

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Why didn't you wish *ME* sweet dreams? [27 Jan 2002|03:46am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | DJ Shadow - What Does Your Soul Look Like ]

Well since I last posted, I went back out into the snow and slid around some more. My hoodie was still wet from my last frolicking, but I was still having a gay ol' time, trying to see how far I could slide. Well, as it so happened, I bit off more than I could chew on one slide, and I fell. I didn't just fall...I biffed. I ate snow.

Then I got inside, and something smelled funny, but I couldn't figure out what it was. So I take off my shoes, and I see that, right around the knee on my jeans, there is a slightly brown, really smelly stain. Have you guessed what it is yet? That's right. I slid into shit. Dog shit.

Needless to say, I quickly removed the jeans, took a shower and swore off playing in the snow.

So yeah then I went over to Dave's and we watched "Interview With The Vampire," since I had never seen it before. What followed was two hours of complete and utter ... crap. For example, he was talking about how this generation of popular kids are nice guys and how nice guys are starting to be cool, which made me happy since, well...I'm a nice guy.

Anyway, once he said this, I was like "well this sucks, because if nice guys are going to dominate, who am I going to have to pee off roofs with?" (Note: I have never, to my knowledge, urinated from anywhere that could be deemed a criminal offense; this was meant in humor. I don't pee from roofs...I swear.)

Just stupid, non-sensical shit like that filled the gaps between our serious conversations. Last night, I told Dave that the girl I like didn't like me, and he was like "don't give up." Well, he told me that and I'm thinking that he's on crack or something like that.

Don't give up on a girl who doesn't like me? That made no sense! So when I questioned him on that tonight, he laughed it off. As it turns out, he meant for me not to give up on girls...and...well...no, no I'm not doing that.

So yeah that's kinda how the whole night went. It was muy fun. And I'm really caring less about the girl I like not liking me back...It's like...So what? That's life, I can't control it. It's not going to happen, so .... fark it. I don't care. Shit happens. It sucks, but....but I think I'm starting to repeat what I said in one of my more recent journal entries, so I'll stop right about here.

Anyway I'm gonna go to sleep, because, well...I need to sleep. So...umm...I hope you'll post a comment at the end of this entry. Even if it's just total jive that has nothing to do with me or my journal. Just post whatever's on your mind...Post something good that happened to you today...Post someone that made you smile today...Post your favorite part of the anatomy starting wtih the letter "L" (my personal favorite is the liver). Shit...I don't care. Just post something positive! I wanna hear about it!

"I'm so fucking happy I could cry..."

Pretty much. It's like...I'm on top of the world, and there's *NOTHING* that anyone can do or say to make me sad...at all. There's no one out there .... there is nothing out there ... It's just so amazing. No one can bring me down. I love it so much.

~Matt

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[26 Jan 2002|06:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Weezer - Say It Ain't So ]

What the hell? It's snowing to beat the proverbial band again. While talking to Andrea, I went slip, slip, slippin' out there and fell down twice. Both of my elbow joints are killing me right about now, but I can't wait to get back out there and write dirty words in the snow again. Fun times to be had by....me.

Maybe I shouldn't be so open emotionally on here, and I should learn to hold back. What do you think? Please let me know what you think please.

Another question: if dared or even double-dared, would you run outside in the snow in a thong bikini? I know I would.

~Matt

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[26 Jan 2002|05:21pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Weezer - My Name Is Jonas ]

I woke up at noon and saw that it was snowing outside pretty heavily. Next thing I knew, it stopped and was gone.

So I went to Safeway and picked up some dinner items for my Mom and then grabbed Taco Bell for lunch.

While in Safeway, I ran into my favorite teacher from Clark and talked to him for awhile. He invited me to sit in on his classes so that I could serve as a tutor. That was pretty flattering.

Then I came home and chilled for a little bit before I had to run back to Safeway to get what I forgot.

And here I am. I can't remember most of this day, at least the specifics. I'm pretty tired. This girl I like...well, she doesn't like me back. At least I don't think so. Naturally, that sucks, but I just don't care as much as I did in the past when I found out girls did not return my feelings for them. I really just don't care anymore. I'm still happy with my life and my friends are happy (at least I think so), so what is there to worry about?

I all but killed off Mattropolis (The Reprise) and Three Turds And A Jake. No one visited them anyway, and besides, they were just really lame. Who (besides me?) wants to see a page that's all about me? The Three Turds And A Jake thing is actually pretty cool and fun to work on, but ... I don't know. It's not that cool anymore, nor is it fun to maintain.

It would be so cool, so fulfilling to have someone to care about and someone to say "I love you" to. As much as I want that, my fear of rejection somehow wins out over my fear of loneliness everytime. This is mildly disconcerting to me, but it's something that I'm sure I'll get over with age. I love being in a relationship and wish that I was in one, but at the same time, I realize I'm the only one who can really change the way I go about things and the way I feel.

Shit I wish I knew what I was trying to say. I guess there are times when I look at all the couples around me and think to myself, "I'm not missing out on much" but then there are also those times when I just wish I had a girlfriend and someone to care about. Maybe my problem is that I look at this logically and leave all my emotions out of it.

I need to find the balance in deatling with my feelings, because I keep flip-flopping . I think I used to just follow my emotions, and as a result, I got my heart ripped to shreds by the same girl more than once. Now I'm looking at everything based on pure logic and completely leave my emotions at the door. I just need to find a balance somewhere there that works for me.

And now, it is snowing again. The flakes are somewhat large too. It's times like this when I wish I could just run out into the snow showers with a girlfriend and have fun and just be silly. That would be nice. But instead, I'm going to sit here watching it snow out my window and be bored.

I'm a lot happier than it sounds. I swear.

~Matt

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I wanna publish 'zines and rage against machines [26 Jan 2002|03:19am]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | Everclear - Everything To Everyone ]

"Life moves too fast for us to even begin to realize how important each and every second is. However, life moves all too slow for us to realize just how fast it is moving. Like the Earth floating and flying through space, our lives seem relatively paced (whether fast or slow) so we never seem to recognize that we're soaring at ridiculous speeds.

We can never get back even a single second of our lives. Life will just keep moving ahead, and none of us will ever seem to realize just how ironic it is that meanwhile time goes by sometimes too slowly, our lives are reaching their conclusions in what seems a blink of an eye."
-Chris Richards

I had so much to put here tonight...part of it about the girl I like, part of it about me being a geek (but in a good way, if that makes sense...), but I shelved both ideas, at least for the time being. We'll see how things go in the near future before I really say much more.

Recap of the day, just for kicks. Had Muchas Gracias for lunch and then I went to see the Mothman Prophecies with Pat. The movie wasn't as good as I expected - it rubbed me the wrong way. I don't exactly know why...I just wasn't feelin' it.

Then we went to Best Buy, which is the gnarliest store ever known to man. I asked for a job while over there, because I was talking circles around the computer associate while looking at laptops. "No...Athlon makes the XP Processor...not the Operating System...yes I know that's Microsoft, but I want to know if you have Athlon XP Processors...they are good. Intel eats ass!" While over there, I snagged the American Pie 2 DVD.

So yeah then I got home, ate a little bit of food and went up to Safeway to say hi to Dave. I forgot it was his birthday. Eek! So we went over to his house after he got off work, watched a little "Rock Star" and then his girlfriend came over, so it was time for me to leave. Got Muchas Gracias for dinner and watched American Pie 2 up until about fifteen minutes ago.

It was the unrated version, so there was some added scenes in the DVD. I saw it three times in theaters and had the full movie downloaded on my computer for a couple months, which allowed me to memorize many of the lines. I could easily tell what was different, what was added and stuff like that. A couple of the new scenes were hilarious, but most of them just extended scenes and the like. Wasn't a huge thing, but fairly spiffy, nonetheless.

Then I came to my room, put on a mix CD and started pounding away at this journal entry. My room is a disaster area, so I have to clean it up tomorrow, but other other than that...well...I don't have anything going. heh...I make that sound like it's news. Well, honestly, since I've started working, there's always been something going. Not so for tomorrow.

Well there's really not much else on my mind right about now, so I'm gonna go to sleep now. If any of my friends from Vancouver are reading this and wanna hang out...call me. Out of all my local friends I've given my LJ addy to...I wonder how many of them still readt this.

Mmm...to coincide with this recent burst of creativity, I've changed up my idea for a Valentines Day post...something which is the complete opposite of what I had already planned. Should be fun.

~Matt

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Sleep is for the strong. [25 Jan 2002|01:18am]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | Weezer - My Name Is Jonas ]

The fish to keep on swimming is the first to chill upstream.

Got off work on time, or at least close enough to where it doesn't matter. Then I came home, which took five minutes longer than normal because I forgot my wallet at home today. Since that very same wallet also held my lunch money, I didn't eat all night long.

Got home for a few minutes, which was just long enough to trash talk my sister's friends while they played Crazy Taxi. Then I discovered that I got a new computer chair, which is soooo comfortable. Wonder how long until it contours to the shape of my buttocks. Only then will it be the best chair ever.

Then, I took my Dad's car and went to Muchas Gracias. I was spinning my custom Weezer CD, so I didn't want to stop driving. I just wanted to listen to it over and over, which I could have just as easily done at home but ... you know. Well, no you don't. Niether do I.

Anyway, so after awhile, I got dinner and came home. Then in a spurt of ... I dont know...I put "Cheesesteak Sculptures" on my writings page, Home Sleep Home.

There was so much more that I had planned on writing, but I forgot the majority of it. I'm going to The Mothman Prophecies tomorrow with Pat, even though I really want to see A Walk To Remember. And then Saturday...well...I'm not doing anything Saturday. Just illin' and chillin' like a villian with Bob Dylan trippin' on penacillin real OG style.

~Matt

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