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[21 Mar 2002|07:36pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | damned creaking common room floor *grr* *rage* ] life is slow and dull and never-changing, yet is moving too quickly and changing so much. am freaking out a bit. have to sort out graduation stuff. have decided to sort it out tomorrow. my brother keeps giving me this 'well i'll have to let you know' shit. no. that won't do. i have to send the thing off about extra tickets to the actual ceremony pretty damn sharpish, as i fucking refuse to have my parents sitting together on their own. no chance. and i have to send everything else off at the same time or i won't be able to budget. so, sorry bro - no can do. and why haven't i heard from the teaching people yet? am grumpy about this. am working tonight, which is kinda crap as i am still feeling a little fragile, but at least i will be fully recovered for drinking and dancing on saturday at school daze. woo! :) have to eat before i go but am not really very hungry. it's cheese on toast time methinks. the other day, i o-fficially weighed less than i did when i was 12. o-fficially. i weigh a pound more again now, but that day, i was so happy. :) fluffy looked confused when i told him this by the way, so i had to explain the puberty-stunting-growth phenomenon. i think he just thought i was a mega-fat pre-teen beforehand. heehee :D. i was only mega-fat when i was about 14-15. not eating chocolate and going for less fatty foods - something to which i have managed to stick and which is actually going well. this should be a lesson to me to apply myself. *tortuous 2.2 thoughts surfacing.... suppress*. never did i think i would be able to kick chocolate in such a resounding fashion. i feel like i can do anything at the moment. (providing of course that it doesn't involve undue physical exertion). my courses are going ok all in all. now and again i get the faintest glimmer of understanding in 'emergence of modern german' and it makes me happy. it is no longer an obtuse tangle of incomprehensible monopthong/dipthong twaddle. and the lecturer uses the verb 'to swither' a lot, as in: 'the scribe seems to be swithering between old and new dipthongs'. i like the word 'swither'. it sounds completely made-up, but isn't. hee. :) i haven't really contributed anything of any value to any of my language classes, despite repeated inhalations and subsequent interruptions from pushy bastards in the class. my mark is going to be so shit. shall have to pull it up, like, a whole, 2points mebbe before term finishes. i wish frau z would tell the people who are always commenting all the time on everything to just shut up now and again. no wonder their spoken german is so good; they never let any other bastard get a frigging word in edgeways. i am going to complain about the size of classes again when i get the assessment form through - for at least the fourth semester in a row. it might work sometime. my complaining about boring modules worked, albeit for the period commencing after my departure. oh well. if only the german dept was run by a german, things would be so much more efficient and well-run. mind you i shouldn't moan too much; the present head is the guy who uses 'swither' a lot. swither. heehee. war fiction - haven't done my reading. eek. better go. it's your round

bored [18 Mar 2002|12:10pm] stolen from kytheraen, ( survey stuff ) it's your round

you've seen it before no doubt but hey... [17 Mar 2002|07:31pm] something from work... it's your round

[17 Mar 2002|05:00pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | handel - sarabande in d minor ] work was SO quiet last night. and ebeneezer, if that was what it was meant to be, kinda sucked. i figured it would be busy, what with all that st patrick's eve crap they were peddling. obviously the masses saw through this cheap ploy, which is vaguely heartening and much appreciated, although i was totally bored. you know how bored i was? i stuck four love hearts into my gob at the same time to see if i could handle the thick, sugary saliva or if i would start coughing. i could handle it. :) you ever notice that some love hearts are nice and crumbly, yet others are right hard bastards? bastards. have to file my nails. have realised that i would cause myself a great deal of pain, were i to punch someone. we had not one broken plastic in the bop last night - fair enough there were only about 50 people, but still. an impressive achievement. don't really know what i am planning to do today. might try and coerce people into videos. am kinda hungry. hmm. and quite bored. there seems to be an inordinate amount of noise coming from upstairs. i really hope larp is on tonight. :( ( memes galore, including mcdonalds, simpsons, lipstick, macaroni & cheese, muppet, bitch, disney princess, candy bar, brady child, colour, firearm, make-up style, addams family, personality, rammstein, dead rock icon, trent/nin, snack food and calvin ) it's your round

duh duh duhhhhhhh [15 Mar 2002|07:56pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | terence trent d'arby - sign your name ] my life is exceptionally boring. if you do not want to be bored, stop reading. nothing much is happening as per usual. went to rocksoc yesterday night which was pretty cool all in all. i wasn't quite as drunk as i wanted to be and thus, although i danced a lot, i had that nasty feeling like everyone was staring at me like i was a freak. especially as i was wearing small clothing for me. i just felt like i stuck out horribly - in all senses of the word. probably because i had an extremely fat day yesterday. hash brown roll, fudge doughnut, 2 hot dogs with ketchup and a bowl of ice-cream. ugh. felt good - apart from the doughnut. that was simply toooooo sweet. never thought i would see the day when something was too sweet. bizarre. have restricted myself to 3 chilli tortilla things with low fat sauce today and that is it. (she says). if i am drunk enough, i could lie on my side on the floor and turn myself in circles on my shoulder for a year and wouldn't care what anyone thought. maybe i am becoming immune to vodka. nah - i'm just not drinking enough. sleazy bastard man was out again at rocksoc. that man makes my skin crawl. *shudder*. i'm sure he is a reallllly nice person and all. BUT. ugh. he makes my stomach turn. each to their own i guess. thank fuck i am invisible to his super-sleaze-ray. on a side-note: ever noticed that there are some people at some junctures of your life about whom you think - "mmm. i would seriously donate a body part if i could shag them once", but then, suddenly, the attraction just... *puff*... ups and vanishes like a fart in the wind? that has happened with 4 people lately. i worry sometimes. my lusting ability is all but frigging gone, i feel like a decrepit 80yr old - matching lust drive and posture. stef has gone. :( me and bunty are sad. come baaaaaack..... am working this evening. have to get in early and get a decent earpiece. Ex says he will be up at the beginning of next term. it should hopefully go better than last time. it will be fine. yes. as long as he doesn't puke on his face again. blee. RECENT FILMS Battle Royale - ***** have. to. buy. Thirteen Days - **** Deuce Bigalow - ***1/2 'i dropped ash on his carpet once. he made me pick it up. with my anus.' A Knight's Tale - **** chaucer seems really cool. if it were real. which it isn't. shame. 4 jd & cokes| it's your round

apologies, but childhood issues make this a necessary post [11 Mar 2002|01:55pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] i just reread my last entry and feel the need to chant again. 'i'm too smaa-aall i'm too smaa-aall!' woo! i have been the height i am now since i was about 12. i am also the lightest now that i have been since i was about 11. i have never, ever been too small. never. ever. ever. the newly discovered fact that i can actually be too small for something makes me really, really happy. so happy. i have buried a part of my childhood 'freakishly-big' paranoia forever. :D it's your round

[10 Mar 2002|06:08pm] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | men without hats - safety dance ] spoke to my brother. my old flatmate visited. all in all, more or less, kinda, apart from a few things, a good day. it'll be alright though, won't it? yes. i have finally worked out how to master the earpiece! basically i go in early, get a curly one with a rounded bit instead of a hanging one or a curly one with a concave bit, and WEDGE it firmly inside. icky on many, many levels, but it stays put! woo! next on the agenda is getting a smaller shirt - i am swamped in the present one, although it must be said that i quite like being too small for a medium for once - albeit mens sizes but hey. :) 'i'm too smaa-aall, i'm too smaa-aall' *dances happily hopping from one foot to the other* work last night consisted mainly of standing in an intermittent, ice-cold draught for 4hrs. my shoulders were soooo stiff. it could have been worse - i could have been outside, i guess. i did get to ogle though. something about big men in uniforms of authority, mmmmmmmmmm. rowr! *ahem* sorry. bunty was mock-outraged that i get paid to stand around in draughts and ogle my workmates for hours. mmmmmmmmmm. *drifting off* *anyway* ok, it is official - the scales have been consistent for a week now. i can report that i have lost almost a half-stone. however it is not showing - anywhere. this aggravates me. my whole healthy eating thing is not about how much i weigh, but about how i look and being happy about it. i wouldn't care if i still weighed 10 1/2 stone but looked lots thinner and was therefore happy. there is something vaguely exasperating about losing weight with nothing to show for it. >:( ah well. at least i am losing it. whatever i am doing must be working, therefore it is best to stick with it. visible weight loss will doubtless crawl along behind in a painfully slow fashion. graduation is a big, fat, expensive, bureaucratic pain in the ass! i reallllllly cannot be bothered. almost. :) collars, robes, dinners, balls, garden parties, photographs, accommodation, council thing - not one of these costs under £20, and in most cases actually £30. :( if only it weren't so vital and important. it'll be nice. it'll be great. it'll all be worth it. i'm whinging again. need classes to start so i can tell you vaguely amusing anecdotes about me being a tit instead of idly moaning unconstructively. is unconstructively a word? hmm. ERK did i just type that i need classes to start?! christ. i think i need a vodka. it's your round

[10 Mar 2002|02:44am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | willy wonka - oompah loompah song ] i have mastered the earpiece!! it's your round

calmer now :) [09 Mar 2002|03:06pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | simon & garfunkel - baby driver ] my mood has improved a great deal. :) work went ok. only had two assholes. i was last into work, and therefore had to assemble this makeshift cod-radio from two different bits and get one of those ridiculous earpieces meant for people with big top bits on their ears and then tape it across my ear and then across my neck as it wouldn't stay on. OUCH is all i shall say. i am SO getting into work earlier tonight. and some of my mates kept poking it and tapping it! *???* it is taped on for a reason! sheeeeesh. my mates keep laughing at me as well whenever they see me at work - honestly, is it because i look stupid? i'm confuzzled. :( my mood from last night has suddenly resurfaced. lazy, inconsiderate bastards. *GGGRRRRR* *calm* my bro is home, i think. he isn't on im though. i need to speak to him as i have to tell him i haven't got any money to send him a birthday card for tomorrow and i haven't forgotten and so on. the plus side of him going back out with kat is that he comes home more and that therefore there is a higher statistical chance-thing that he will be on im. the bad thing is that it is kat. hmm. i just hope he is happy, that's all i really care about. all the graduation stuff came through in the post yesterday. well, strictly speaking it didn't. everyone else in the entire flat got mail apart from me and i left a jokey, abusive note in the kitchen. a side note: molotov - have you made a pact with the devil? how come you get so much post?? *jealous*. anyway slinky went and found me my mail just so i didn't feel left out. :D. me love slinky 4eva. graduation is horribly expensive and it looks like i have to have long conversations with flatmates and parents regarding which garden party, if any, and when, and so on. bleh. organisation and money, neither of which i have. and my car is still broken. dad is gonna hate me after this phone call. our presentation on 'In Stahlgewittern' was, apparently, 'excellent'. not bad for someone who didnt read the 300+pg book. the questions were gifts though, in that they only referred to incidents about which i had already read briefly in my secondary literature the day before, so i kicked ass and answered all of them. luckyluckylucky. might do work for the next one. lightning doesn't strike twice. :) plans for today involve showering and maybe helping stef tidy. i vowed not to do any of the tidying, but i feel really shit about letting stef tidy up all the jam and rice in the bathroom. yes - you didn't misread that. jam and rice in the bathroom. ugh i am feeling shitty again and will spare you ranting. a long hot shower is in order. ( slut, inner rubber duck, vampire, my little pony, rainbow brite, high school label, inner soda, high yield killing method and how much of a drunk memes ) it's your round

[09 Mar 2002|02:13am] [ mood | pissed off ] am in an extremely pissed off mood. that is all. it's your round

[07 Mar 2002|09:45pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | rimsky-korsakov - kalendar prince, scheherezade ] ( memery, including icecream, letter of alphabet, wacky races, dragon colour, greek goddess, inner non-sequitur, gashlycrumb tiny, angeliiiiina, rock chick, meaning of life, action movie star, care bear, sex and the city ) it's your round

fnehhhhh [07 Mar 2002|07:47pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | eurythmics - it's alright, baby's coming back ] today has been long. long like a fox! ahem. went to a language practical class and found myself completely unable to formulate a sentence. then wrote a bit of a presentation. then met the guy with whom i am doing the presentation. then realised i had forgotten my book for my 4pm class and had to walk home at 3.30 and walk back in again. luckily on the way back i met oli and he paid for a bus ride for me - *wiping tear from eye* my lovely son. i did something else also that i cannot remember doing since ttom's birthday beach party last may with slinky on the beach - i RAN. yes. me. we had to run for the bus. goddamn, my heart near burst. the bus driver helpfully pointed out, as i collapsed in a panting heap, that we can stop the bus anywhere along the road. nice. at least we know for future reference. :) i have to get fitter. i guess i should really think more about swimming, but it costs money. why aren't there any good sport-y things that cost no money? i'm kinda bored with walking as a form of exercise and i haven't got the faintest clue as to how to safely enter the scary world of jogging. and i have no trainers. and none of those comfy loose clothing type things. and no money. sometimes i get so tempted by the thought of putting up my bank details on here in the hope that random readers passing through with a shitload of cash will take pity on me and gimme a couple of hundred quid or so. then i could save for germany, sign up for fit-activity-stuff, eat nicely and buy a proper corset... (see? i put the corset last? my shallow obsessive ways are being squished. aren't i good. ;-)). of course to put them up would be highly silly. although if anyone reading this is loaded and wants to donate money to a weight-preoccupied, unfit, corsetless charity case, then drop me a line in the comments section. :D :D go on. :D :D just had a thought: when i say 'loaded', i mean with cash. :) it's your round

oh man baby, baby, you just burned my balls! my balls are on fire! [06 Mar 2002|04:44pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | chef - chocolate salty balls ] my day yesterday was fairly routine all in all. saw myself in the monarchy video. i'm glad i had the cold that day, as i am now able to excuse easily the puffy pale expanse of face and horrendous diction caught on camera forever as just the horrid extremes of my everyday demeanour. i have thus even more excuses for various negative aspects of my life preserved for posterity. yay! i went and saw Dürrenmatt's 'die Physiker' in the evening with stef which was surprisingly cool. i felt all cultured-up when i left, although i must admit the speed at which the dialogue sometimes progressed left me grasping blindly in a fog of incomprehension for a minute or so, hoping desperately for a word that i would be able to even recognise. most of the time i was ok - not great, but ok. :) attila was fantastic! went to the cellar afterwards for a drink or two and monopolised stef in conversation the entire time. *guilt*. i was talking about boring crap as well, as usual. shall have to buy her a present when i get paid. not authentic german rye bread again though - that stuff tastes like dead mice. :-O# <- *vomiting* i have recently encountered anew a personality trait that i detested previously and that still really stamps all over my patience in a jackbooted fashion: self-important 'intellectuals'. *rolling of eyes* they are not even worth the teeny amount of calorific energy i am burning by typing this (although according to the great philosopher Tesco, 'every little helps' ;)), so i shall shut up before a full blown rant is underway... and type more irrelevant crap to burn off those calories and to piss you off instead! *cackling maniacally* today there is nothing lighthearted and more or less inconsequential enough to report, apart from the fact that the bastard winamp just had the nerve to call me gay when it crashed trying to play mozart. the nerve i tell you. stupid big nerve as a nervy nerve nerve bastard. taken from duskfallsineden, a hopefully inaccurate chess-related and another x-men one from someone i can't remember ( memes ) it's your round

philosophy of life gubbins [05 Mar 2002|12:47pm] [ mood | amused ] i forgot to tell you on thursday how my 'philosophy of life' class went. i capitulated and admitted my main aim in life was 'to sleep as much as possible.' :) however. i have a leetle voice and the verb for to sleep in german is 'schlafen' - very close to the verb 'schaffen', meaning lots of stuff like to do, to create, even to work in southern german (apparently). frau z thought i said 'schaffen'. it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life when i had to correct her. 'nein, schlafen'. it was especially embarrassing because everyone else had been saying stuff like 'oh my aim is to always give 100%/110%/my best/treat others how i would wish to be treated/love my neighbour' and all that kind of admirable guff. nope - me, i just want to sleep. i tried to regroup by quoting camus but arsed up the translation totally and was left a mocked, reddened husk of my former self. today i have to watch that stupid monarchy video in which i make a tit of myself. i'll update properly later on. it's your round

[04 Mar 2002|02:17pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | nyman - the piano ] beardy gets me at 4pm. bleugh. i have no idea what he wants from us. gar keine Ahnung. i object inherently to any course which has a word so irritating both to spell and abbreviate as 'monopthongisation'. work on saturday was ok. managed to get an earpiece that had no fluffy bit but that was rounded, so no scrapiness. woo! i discovered a new problem with the radio and earpiece though - going to the loo. what a palaver. also, you wouldn't believe just how long it took me to grasp the concept of clicking bop bands. it doesn't look and really isn't that difficult, but it took me about an hour to bring the time taken down to under 20 seconds. count 20 seconds - it is a looooong time. then some girl complained that my hands were absolutely freezing. my fault? no. she suggested holding them in between my thighs to warm them up - what would that have looked like, i ask you. i was vaguely affronted by another guy as well. some drunken arse wanted to go to the bathroom and insisted that his friend go with him, so in a jokey way i raised my eyebrow. the friend reacted with this horrified look and these vehement protestations that 'it's not like that, no, i'm not like that, i'm not one of them' and so on. asshole. an extremely attractive young lady came through. i pointed her out to lil d. tummy-rubbing was in order - yummy. on a side note - is it me or does tom cruise have one of the most irritating, smirky, misshapen and generally unattractive faces in the world? christ - i'd rather shag brad pitt and that is saying something. RECENT FILMS The Bone Collector - **** Cocktail - *** - the cruise factor vs the gina factor makes it average 3 jd & cokes| it's your round

*yawn* [03 Mar 2002|08:43pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | depeche mode - enjoy the silence ] no matter how much i sleep, it never feels like it is enough... The Door Staff Tale I know you BELIEVE you understood what you THINK I said, but I'm not sure you understand that what you HEARD is not what I MEANT. :) ( memes... including movie villain, marilyn manson, drugs and tarot ) it's your round

*yawn* [02 Mar 2002|01:49pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | psychedelic furs - pretty in pink ] work wasn't that bad all in all. kinda like working in the castle if it were to have flashing lights, loud music and drunken instead of regular assholes. my thighs have that knackered feeling today which, although somewhat uncomfortable, means that the muscles have been working and hopefully using up calorific energy. woo! i was put in the bop with gollum who (sorry uberbitsch) was actually really helpful and friendly. hopefully i'll be in the bop tonight again, as it is 80s, but i doubt it. i like being there because it means i get to people-watch and i really like doing that. there was this guy dancing with lucas who could really dance - gollum said he thought he was american. what is it about americans? are they genetically predisposed to being able to dance well or do they have secret youth training classes? it's a conspiracy i tell you! *green-eyed-monster* i also saw the best corset i have seen so far in st andrews. a proper one. fitted well. properly boned. *monstrously-large-green-eyed-monster* you know what my biggest issue with working on door is? this is going to sound shallow again, but my ears are just too damn small for the headset things. the circular ones which sit kinda over your ear just hang off the top bit uselessly, as in that a breeze or sudden head movement would cause it to fall off. the ones with the earpiece that goes in your ear are better, but the wee earpiece has no fluffy bit on it, and seeing as i have to jam this bit firmly into my ear to keep it from falling off (it did so twice last night), it is damned uncomfortable and scrapey. i think i am going to have to tape it to the skin behind my ear like phil and mandy do. yeowch. my plans for today should be to read 'in stahlgewittern' which i haven't yet started and for which i have to a presentation on friday. my actual plans are going to be eating and watching telly/playing street fighter. it was so cool- the other day after sex and the city finished, i said to bunty 'fancy a game? i haven't played for years though' to which he agreed. i then proceeded to kick his ass mightily to the point where he was reduced to continually doing the same kicking move over and over again to get me knocked down before i had time to get up from the previous one. hehe. i haven't laughed in quite such a genuine evil fashion for years - in fact since i played street fighter with my brother. i beat him in an average fashion, and in the second stage he crowed (in a mcbain voice) 'here comes the pain'. i beat him with a perfect. :D 4 jd & cokes| it's your round

GAH! [01 Mar 2002|08:35pm] my workshirt looks AWFUL!!!! i look like i am the most shortwaisted person ever!!!! there's entirely too much fabric in my trousers!!!! so much that i look like i am wearing big pants!!!!!! GAHHH! big pants!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHurgle it's your round

*sneeze* [01 Mar 2002|06:46pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | aretha franklin - chain of fools ] i am getting a cold. *halfhearted rage*. i wish it would just hurry up and descend. i wouldn't mind being ill, but just feeling gradually shitter and shitter all the time as i deteriorate is beginning to make me very impatient and irksome. just hurry up goddammit. i have that winky, weepy eye thing going on as well. hurry up, feeling sorry for myself is getting very tedious. >:( i had my induction into door staff last night. what was meant to take an hour took around two and a half. in the room pretty much next to the disco to which i was meant to be going. all i could hear was all my mates laughing and the countdown beginning and all my songs being played whilst this guy droned on about how i was never ever going to have a free friday again for the rest of the term. bleugh. but in the end i escaped and had a few wee dances and lots of giggles with slinky. :) hehehe. the night was really good, although i needed to be drunker. the sleaziest bastard in the entire world was out again working his 'magic'. bleeee. i seem to be immune to these sleazy types, which is either very good or very bad. am i not worthy of sleazage? :( i guess i don't really have tits of which to speak, so i am ignored. my vanity is wounded. :( upon careful reflection: no sleazy bastards? i like this! i am in fact privileged, in that i am one of the extreme few to escape those unsettling and impolite leers cast by testosterone-pumped, troll-esque travesties-of-the-male-species. :D. i think i am going to make TTT an abbreviation for this in my lexicon. incidentally i was taught a lesson for my shallow reasoning previously mentioned on the journal. remember how one of my few advantages for applying was that the 'shirt was cool'? i was given the shittiest, rankest, faded-est shirt in the world yesterday evening. *lol* i guess in the future i should be a little more... cerebral, ne? am working from 9 tonight. am dreading it. should get over £40 in a week's time though! woo! :D by the way, you cannot apparently swear at people when you are working on door. *sulk* no head-punching. no swearing. it's like working at blair castle but with less ignorant questions asked by more drunken people. fneh. old el paso plain tortillas only have about 150cals per tortilla!! god is good! :) my faith in mexico as a nation has been restored. on the food front i have decided to stop kidding myself and others. i really don't like meat, other than sausage or bacon. there. i have officially outed myself. no going back now. in comm.skills today she brought in a camera to televise us having a debate about the monarchy in order to educate us about body language. bunty and i rowed for about an hour and a half about it beforehand in a constructive fashion, and i was all ready to go in there and state my pro-monarchy case. then she gave 6 of us 10 minutes in total to present and debate our points of view. i got out 2 sentences. what a triumph. one of them was however that i believed one couldn't call the monarchy out-of-date/-touch because with all the salacious stories and divorces and drug use, they are pretty much all in all a modern british family. i thought that this made sense, although bunty said i should say it as a jokey prelude before making a real point - obviously he thought it was cack. anyway. everyone vaguely tittered in an embarrassed fashion and the conversation moved on abruptly without letting me make a real point and leaving me sitting looking like a prat. on film. for posterity. for ever. also, apparently i kept on looking at the camera. i was totally unaware of this. i'm gonna look like a moron. might be fun actually. :) i think dr m was drunk in war fiction today. heh. 2 jd & cokes| it's your round

[27 Feb 2002|08:53pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | golden earring - radar love (i prefer 'red-eye love' myself) ] well my sister came and she got on with everyone. it was actually really cool to have her and my mother up. and, for the first time in the recorded history of our sisterly relations she liked my friends!!!! we nearly rowed only the once - pretty impressive. the crap thing was that the frigging bop and all entertainment (such that there is) was called off at the last minute because frigging chattan were having their frigging ball. *rage* but oh well. she bought me chilli and alcopops. mmm. did you know incidentally that ONE discovery cheese and herb tortilla has over 530cals in it? ONE TORTILLA. meh. i decided it must be the cheese factor and am thus going to buy plain ones from now on. or make my own. i'm quite lonely now they have gone. not the tortillas - the familial units. :) audiogalaxy is being gay. nothing much else is happening. haven't heard anything r.e. the german thing. i really want my own flat if and when i get there, as i cannot abide the idea of living with a family. if i can't live with my own, how the hell am i meant to get along with a completely foreign one (in all senses of the word)? :/ i have the evils of my own personal 'philosophy of life' shite tomorrow morning. bon jovi gave me an idea today - 'live whilst you're alive'. but that's kinda crappy and frau z will no doubt pull her 'tut-tut-you've-made-no-effort-at-all-have-you-dear' face at me. again. at least from midday tomorrow it will all be over with. yesssss. frau z swore twice in our last comm.skills lecture! TWICE! woo! i also learned a bavarian joke. it was pretty bad so i shan't tell you unless you are seized by a burning curiosity. i made a tit of myself again in the language lesson this morning by knowing the web address to the 'translate your name into dwarvish/elvish/orcish/hobbit' site totally free of consultation of anything. i stopped halfway through in utter shame and cast my eyes at the desk, face burning, but everyone was staring in fascinated horror waiting for me to finish. ahhh, if only i had had my 'Herr der Ringe' book i would have looked like an appreciator (appreciatrix?) of literature and not some sad, net-obsessed geek who obviously spends more time farting about on the internet learning urls for geek sites than studying the finer points of german grammar. regarding war fiction, every book that is even vaguely useful for my presentation in a week's time has been taken out of the library. the guy with whom i am doing the presentation had better be responsible for this or else i am in deep Scheiße. i could murder an ice-cream mars bar. RECENT FILMS The Mexican - *** - i think i should watch it again really Death In Venice - ** But I'm A Cheerleader - **** - could have done a lot more with it Playmate Of The Apes - **** - just for the pink ape! woo! pink ape! it's your round

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