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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
cinder's LiveJournal:
| Friday, February 22nd, 2002 | ||
| 4:02 pm | So I find out today that these people didn't know how much they were supposed to be paying me... or at least thought that the amount is less than what I was told when I was hired. Believe me, I wouldn't have worked this hard if I had known what they'd be giving me. Still hoping I get the other job though. | |
| Wednesday, February 20th, 2002 | ||
| 8:30 pm | ||
| 6:17 pm | I finally got around to heading to the human resources department to apply for those jobs. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm really qualified for the position. It's exactly what I'm doing now, only at the Evanston campus. I'm already trained on the NW registration software and basically know the process from start to finish. And they keep teaching me something new each day... although I wonder why they bother since I only have another week and a half left. | |
| 6:15 pm | So I'm at work again - and found that I've taking up my old habit of obsessionally checking my email and journals. It's driving me crazy... almost as bad as how I felt when I had chicken pocks. If only it was socially acceptible to wear socks on your hands at work. *sigh* | |
| Tuesday, February 19th, 2002 | ||
| 9:38 am | I'm starting to hate work... not enough to do... to much idle time - I could be sleeping now... there should be no reason I'm allowed to sit around and play around on the internet just because I haven't asked for something to do yet. *sigh* | |
| 9:19 am | True Neutral Half-Elf Bard Ranger Alignment: True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly. Race: Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves. Primary Class: Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit. Secondary Class: Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy. | |
| Monday, February 18th, 2002 | ||
| 9:07 am |  I'm Jareth! I'm calculating and determined, and I may well burst into song for no reason. I want to get the girl, rule the kingdom, and wear tight pants. Ahhh, who doesn't?
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| Thursday, February 14th, 2002 | ||
| 2:18 pm | So I ended up getting a raise (not sure how much) and an extension of 3 weeks onto my stay at this job. Meanwhile, searching everywhere at the university for a permanent position. I'm not going to be here forever and I'll be damned if I get stuck at another temp job. The only problem is they only allow you 1000 hours in a year and I'm a third of the way there already. Hopefully things will work out all right, but at least I'll save up some money to tide me over in case I'm out of work for a while. So what is everyone doing for Valentines day? | |
| Friday, February 8th, 2002 | ||
| 6:36 pm |
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| 6:34 pm | Oh - I guess I forgot to tell everyone... Davis got the phone number reconnected... I wouldn't try calling until the evening when I'm actually home from work - one more week :) | |
| 12:23 am | cinder Not a bad color... | |
| 12:02 am | Strawberry Bubbles So after a long week of working overtime every night I finally settle down to a nice long bath. Had lots of those little floating candles that rest on the surface of the water, forcing submersion to avoid singeing. They chase each other in circles until they blow themselves out, leaving one lonely flickering flame. I couldn't let the last one burn itself out. *sigh* Must remember not to let myself burn out. Decided to have bubbles because for some reason I've always loved watching those scenes where someone comes barging in on someone in a bath - and there are always bubbles covering the breasts, showing no flesh until the bend of the knee comes peaking out - hiding from view whatever is below the cloud level (like in a plane, the peaks of tall mountains). Doing the typical thing... having not taken a bath for a while I stay in forever. My hands are prunes... not just my fingers - the palms - and my feet. My flesh has never looked this old before. So I think and reflect and realize that I should feel relaxed... it's a semi romantic setting (and I could have easily filled the part of the romantic counterpart just by walking in the other room). But I notice how cold I feel - emotionally. There I was, but for all I cared I could have been asleep or watching TV. It seems like nothing means a god-damn thing anymore. I fall in love all the fucking time, but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm too damn bitter, too hateful, untrusting - it'll be a long time before I can do any of it again. But I go on living and using because that's what I've known, that's what I've learned. I wish I could love and feel accepted - but I've been told it's an impossible dream (total acceptance, that is). If that's true, does that mean that everyone just settles for the lesser evil - the least inconvenient choice? So I finally stop making strawberry bubbles, step up to take a quick shower... rinsing off the little bits of wax that settled and clung to my skin (still some in my hair). And again... it's time to sleep, hopefully dream again - something sweet and promising. | |
| Wednesday, February 6th, 2002 | ||
| 8:34 pm | ||
| 8:34 pm | This always seems to be too damn accurate Your Existing Situation Needs, and insists on having, a close and understanding relationship, or at least some method of satisfying a compulsion to feel identified Your Stress Sources Feels she must have cooperation before the existing situation can be improved. Lack of understanding and appreciation makes her feel no real bond exists, and discontent gives rise to a touchy sensitivity; she wants to feel safer and more at ease. She would like to get away from what she now considers a depressing tie and re-establish her own individuality. Her sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for her to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and merge with another. This disturbs her as she regards such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome--he feels that she can only assert her own individuality by continued self-restraint, that this alone will allow her to stand her ground through her present difficulties. Your Restrained Characteristics Unhappy at the resistance she feels whenever she tries to assert herself. Indignant and resentful because of these setbacks, but gives way apathetically and makes whatever adjustments are necessary so that she can have peace and quiet. Your Desired Objective Needs a way of escape from all that oppresses her and is clinging to vague and illusory hopes Your Actual Problem Anxiety and restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced stress. She feels misunderstood, disoriented, and unsettled. This drives her into a search for new conditions or relationships, in the hope that these might offer greater contentment and peace of mind. Your Actual Problem #2 Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth. | |
| Sunday, February 3rd, 2002 | ||
| 9:31 pm | ||
| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002 | ||
| 6:24 pm | Looks like I'll be going out with my old friend Jon next weekend :) *bounce bounce bounce* IIT people should remember him :) | |
| 5:11 pm |
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| Tuesday, January 29th, 2002 | ||
| 6:33 pm | So lately all I've been doing is work. The first week was great, but I guess I did everything they wanted too quickly because there isn't anything extra for me to do anymore. I'm so bored... I ended up going through the phone book on a whim and found  quasilaur's work number and had to try really hard not to call, just for the hell of it. (I didn't want her, or I, to get in trouble)I guess having the phone disconnected is kind of getting to me. That, and not seeing any of my friends either. Just like the highlight of my day on Saturday was when I looked up to see soulhakr standing in front of me. I can't remember when I was that excited to see anyone. I'm just getting down, because of the whole work thing - and realize that I'm still suffering, just in different ways.I just want you all to know that I love ya, and appreciate the time we can spend together. *hugs* | |
| Monday, January 28th, 2002 | ||
| 8:10 pm | ||
| Thursday, January 24th, 2002 | ||
| 9:06 pm | I guess I'll just post this for everyone - it's a really weird sci-fi movie (6 min) - worth your time. http://www.scifi.com/exposure/frameup/terrible.html | |
