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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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5:07 pm
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ho hum. i r max slacker on the lj. [checks how long since last update] oh fuck. 3 months? damn. uh...i don't really remember what's been going on. i think december was fairly uneventful...christmas was good i think...new years was fun; partied at karoosh's. highlight: hotboxing the office (~12'x10') with a couple bowls and a dank/hash joint and like 25 people. oh yeah, mid january i got a new car! i dig it. need a head unit badly (hopefully soon) and probably a system down the road. that reminds me: a) i have to go to the gov't center and get my personal property tax sticker; b) bitches need to send me the postcard saying my plates are in; c) fuck more expensive insurance. had the house to myself for a week at the end of january. that was fun. dxm to kick it off, then lots of bongs, beer, and gta3 throughout. ate mushrooms two weeks ago, they were bombtrack. mad props. that night was nuts to say the least. first this girl we found on irc (/who *.lnhva.rcn.com -we are secrit ninjas!) came over, but wouldn't hit the bong. got her to kind of hit a joint, but, eh. she brought her friend along, who didn't smile at all. it was a bit unnerving, but i liked looking at some tits and ass (the original chick, not the anti-drug friend). got her to eat 1 cap and 1 stem shortly before she left. there were half a dozen people tripping on amt that night too. things were marred by threats of suicide made by our close friend. we averted that crisis, but it was a very fucked up couple of hours. much nitrous and dank were consumed that night as well. since then, i've just been working, burning trees, the usual. oh, homer works for me now. it helps the hell that is compusa. now that i've added tigfox's mp3s to my collection, i now have ~65 gigs, ~12,500 tracks, 1047 hours. woop. month and a half, baby. my goal is like a year. need more hd's. currently they're mainly on the two firewire drives hooked up to replicant (screenshots: main display (lacie 19"), secondary display (15.2" TiBook LCD), 80 and 100 gigs. i need a g4 tower. that's all there is to it. bleeblarg. welp, since i am at work, i should probably do some work. hopefully tonight homer and i roll down and drop some shiz off, for some #virginia people (i'll rant about that channel later; quick jist: most are retards, some are cool). assuming the shiz is available first. ooh. and we will play state of emergency tonight. mm..maybe some food...tittie would be nice too. can't wait til i get off. feer this.
current mood:  anxious
current music: none...the fucking cd player in my office blows.
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| Wednesday, November 21st, 2001
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2:50 am - yes. uh. yes. uh. yes. uh.
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2:28 am - this dude is cool
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so i'm watching techtv just now, teh screen savars, cause leo is gone and martin is cool and smokes weed. this dude, yuri lane is on. he like, beatboxes with his mouth and shit. so i went to his site, and checked out his promo vids. cool stuff. BUT THEN. the end of one has his email address and a phone number. i naturally reach for the phone and call the number, expecting an answering machine with some beat boxing and such. then a dude answers, "hello?" "uh...yuri lane?" "yes?" cool as shit. mad props to him for doing that. he told me he's going to put together an album of sorts with protools. you should all get it. hopefully he won't take that frame off the video because of me. hehe =D
current mood:  high
current music: Yuri Lane (yurilane.com)
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| Sunday, October 21st, 2001
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4:44 pm - snapparhead!
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yeah, so i have snapperhead running on replicant, justice, and magdalena. check out what i'm doing at any given time, rt screenshot. i'm all about it. that app rules. the rest of his software is cool too. he's a real users' developer.
also, omniweb (and probably other browsers) don't seem to like snapperhead, use ie.
current mood:  lethargic
current music: run lola run soundtrack
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3:13 am - nerg?
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aha! i am back! yeah. so lots of shit has happened since i last posted. a lot of it i'd like to forget. i simply don't understand how someone could lie to and crush someone she supposedly cares about. it was all a farce? i find that hard to believe. but, her true character was shown; ignorant and immature as it is. i call for the extermination of shallow human beings. now that we're past that...i think i'll just speak to the present. though perhaps i'll touch on a bit of goodness in the recent past. i went to see tool three times in three nights; at the mci center here in dc, then in raleigh and charlotte, nc. fucking fantastic. spiritual. had floor tickets at the mci center, was about 20 feet from the stage, dead center. mci center has a phat speaker setup. i could feel every beat in my chest. that combined with being drenched in sweat, people on all sides, moving as one body. i can't put it into words. some of you know what i'm talking about. raleigh and charlotte shows were quite cold; maynard did not strip to his speedo. =( raleigh seemed to be a generally more lighthearted show, "we're drinking to infinite lapdances in heaven...and infinite coke...to be snorted out of david lee roth's asscrack." they played opiate at charlotte, only song from the opiate or undertow from any of the shows. 10.1 update fucked up replicant and magdalena (i had made some host entries in netinfo, which apparently was completely changed)...had to reinstall; i still have much to restore as this was during the thick of my problems with...her. ah, speaking of her...i may archive some pron and up it at some point...haven't decided yet. looking at the pictures, she seemed happy...made me happy...how could it all have been lies? after everything that was said. gah...as you can tell, i'm still not done thinking about it. at this point, i'm just confused. perhaps the only conclusion i'll ever be able to reach is that she's a very fucked up person. erm...anyway...other than complications with netinfo, 10.1 is very cool. i'm all about the dvd player. and the speed. and the theme xenogenesis (screenshot soon) ah, and tuesday! apple's announcing "the device"! i can't wait. music-related, i hear. i'm 95% sure i'll buy one, even without knowing what it is. new bad ass ti's and ibooks. i may sell replicant to ben and get one of the new ti's. ah...my hair...it's short now. here is the story: i went to hair cuttery, said "number one clipper on the sides and back, about 2 inches off the top." basically just a shortening of each, same haircut. i guess it was like 6 inches or so on the top? anyway, she did the sides and back and got the scissors and asked "two inches, right?" i said "yep, two inches." pulled some hair to the front and cut it upper-forehead length. i thought "fuck. it's too late now." i guess she thought i meant 2 inches total. but it's not even that. shrug. you can kindof see it in the new lj pic blackmagic made for me. feer it. feer bml. um...hrm...i should smoke some schwag and chill with irc people. off tomorrow, this is good. i uh...will try to post more often.
o/~
hatred keeps me alive
happiness keeps me alive
weakness keeps me alive
guilt keeps me alive at the bottom
o/~
eh...i just tried to pick a mood...i'm not sure what mood i'm in. i think the above lyrics sum it up sufficiently. and those from 46&2
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Tool: Bottom
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| Monday, August 13th, 2001
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5:32 pm - stuff
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ah. i'm a slacker. i know. i should post more often. i will. i promise. have replicant back and fully functional. two small scratches have appeared on the screen, but i am covered for three years. just gotta take time to part with her. i'm loving the current desk setup of the lacie electon blue 19" dualed with replicant in the middle, and magdalena and sinthia to the right. very pimp. gotta get some pics of that. now that i have replicant back, cam should be up when i'm there. ah, also; i broke parasite, so i ordered a hand bubblar from colorchangingglass.com. his name is proteus. pics coming soon. at work now, can't wait to get off. i have teh stuff to do: 1) atm; 2) wendy's; 3) home 4) proteus; 5) ett; 6) get dat; 7) hit up merlin's house. off tomorrow. woop. more latar. or something.
current mood:  excited
current music: fear factory: remanufacture
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| Sunday, July 29th, 2001
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2:25 pm - the suck
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new things that suck need to stop cropping up when the old sucky things stop sucking.
overall, the suck is increasing.
current mood:  stressed
current music: ministry: lay lady lay
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
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8:06 pm - oof
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ah, it's been a while. i'm a slacker. i had to send replicant to apple for service (backlight on lcd flickers and goes off). got her back yesterday AND IT STILL DOES IT! three weeks for nothing. jesus. they will feel my wrath. on the plus side, they repaired magdalena; since i realized the fire was started by her ac adapter (which they are recalling). reveling in 3 screens of os x in front of me. it's great. vira and sewshi returned from their road trip today. haven't seen them yet. last word is jeck is "coming over but not sure when," and vira is resistant to wakage. i will eat light taco bell (har har) and sewshi will call me with further news. rolling tonight. i plan to be mad fucked up. =D
more later
current mood: excited
current music: philosomatika stream
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| Friday, June 29th, 2001
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3:12 am
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mm...work is a bitch. fairfax is a bitch. replicant has some sort of flaky connection to the lcd; have to take her in. vira, sewshi, cathy, and steve are leaving for seattle, then cali tonight; they should be here soon. plan is two weeksish? i think. i wish i could go. but that work thing. i need to move to seattle. at least i will have a taste of seattle brought back with them. have to work in 5 hours. bleh. i did manage to not spend any of my last paycheck, and i get paid again tomorrow. woomp. disjointed. thought.
replicant + tool + sennheiser headphones = contentment
o/~
and in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
the moon tells me a secret - my confidant
o/~
current mood: peaceful
current music: Tool: Reflection
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
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5:45 am
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bah, sleep now. perhaps i have forgotten that thought forever.
current mood: high
current music: Tool: Lateralus
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5:45 am
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OH YEAH!
i have a 5 lb bag of tiny gummy bears, from kt.
w00p.
now i can sleep well, having remembered what was so important to post about. heh.
current mood: high
current music: Tool: Lateralus
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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5:43 am
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good nugg, sam is the man. he, krissee, and nick-a are heading westward tomorrow for rainbow gathering and such. hope they will stay long enough for my visit to coincide. good people. ah...i had something else to say...i'll think of it...
current mood: high
current music: Tool: Lateralus
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5:10 am - strange night
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got off work, picked up sewshi, came here, checked on nugg; negative. smoked a couple bowls of what we had left, vira, cathy, and brittany arrived. we all went to vira/cathy/awaken's, vira picking up kt on the way. awaken, as expected, left when he was told that i was coming. awaken called collect; he had run his car out of gas (?) for the second time in a few weeks (?!) and needed a ride home. i gladly offered, both as a bona fide olive branch, and to see what his reaction would be. of course, he refused. vira was going to get him, when their mom said no, that she would, and that she didn't think there is anything wrong with him (major denial, he said today that he "feels uncomfortable around saitan, sewshi, verbim, and r0c" because we have a "karmic path of seduction" [!@?!$#!?]). just after this, eleanor arrived, then krissee and adam. kt, brittany, vira, and cathy went for k. eric arrived with billy. chilled, some rolling rock action afoot. the k crew returned and put most everyone there into a k-hole (i don't care much for k anymore, *shrug*, plus i have a cold, bleh). mrs t returned, sans awaken. he didn't want to come home with sewshi and i still there, so she took him to a friend of hers' house about 45 minutes away (!?!). she said "all's well that ends well." it is far from over, and nothing about it is well. sam arrived, sold me a g of nugg. got mad high. at about 4, we decided to light some illegal fireworks krissee had; which she swore were silent. heh. bad idea. but we (not me, i voiced my opinion that we should be done after the first one squealed) lit another, with an even louder squeal. eric and billy departed; sewshi and i soon afterward. there's an off chance that krissee, sam, and nick-a will be in seattle when i will; it would be great to meet up with them, and have two of my worlds interact. i think people would get along well. plus, that would be a good opportunity for some cargo shiznit. *AAAAACHOO^4* bah. fuck this cold. hopefully nugget will be tracked down tomorrow, in sizable quantities. fuck this buying small amount shit. gotta remember to get some dirty for alex tomorrow night too. brittany leaves wednesday =\. i miss her. i still miss her while i'm hanging out with her these few days. if that makes sense. life is strange right now. in the grand scheme of things, shit rather sucks, but taken in small chunks, living day by day, just searching relentlessly for , and sometimes finding pieces of happiness. if only i had endless money. i would move mad heads to seattle...nee...only my closest. not have to worry about shit. just chill and party for a while. mm...time for a couple more bowls. small pieces of happiness.
Tool: The Patient (tool owns me. you too.)
o/~
A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.
Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).
If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.
And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.
Gonna wait it out.
o/~
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Tool: The Patient
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| Sunday, June 17th, 2001
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6:17 am
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mm...brittany came up and surprised the fuck out of me on thursday. =D though, as expected, weirdness ensues; from several directions, and for even more reasons as before. friday morning went down for my dad's "commencement"; upon completion of 28 days at a navy addiction rehabilitation place; for alcohol. the ceremony was very interesting. most of the men were far younger, and still active-duty, median being early 20's. many of them have face court marshall, discharge, or jail time. ... anyway, he's home now and seems to be doing well. friday night was a keg party at jeck's...but the keg was like all head? mostly just sat around, wandering upstairs periodically to smoke a jack. yesterday i had to work from 1500 until about 0400 this morning (i expected 0800). fuck inventory. whoever has my position has to do a bitch of a job for inventory, but at least i got to sit the whole time, rather than walking around counting stuff. came home and hit what i had left (roaches). it's around 6 now i think? going to fear factory tomorrow at nation with vira and ben? maybe. i've acquired a sudden chest cold in the past 24-36 hours. i think my dad gave it to me. it sucks. i need to find nugget. anybody in the dc area? ;) heh heh.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: smile.dk: butterfly (extended)
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| Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
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4:01 am - good/bad
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good:
having some weed
new firewire enclosure and wd 80 gig 7200 rpm drive
brittany being in the country again (to see her soon? hopefully.)
hope of nugg tomorrow
chilling with chill people
rolling machines
sausage and cheese
bad:
cable still being down, choosing sleep over bitching them out before work, and forgetting reference number at home, thereby not being able to bitch from work either
lame deals; ie, people selling schwag as "chronic" (a) thinking schwag is chronic because that's what they were told or b) knowing it's schwag and intentionally trying to rip me off)
having to clean shit up before i sleep
working at 0900
still lonely? i think.
current mood: peaceful
current music: TRAX: The Samplers Collection
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| Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
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4:04 am - µ!
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µ!
hooray for trans!
hopefully chronic (though people misuse the term-so it will probably just be dank) tomorrow morning.
current mood:  hopeful
current music: µ-ziq: royal astronomy
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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2:38 am
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fuck not being able to make the "mu" symbol in my lj post (%,%?).
i could probably look up the entity number, but fuck that too.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: MU-ziq: lunatic harness
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2:32 am - fuck *
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fuck work.
fuck no weed.
fuck making a big thing of hamburgar helpar and getting 1 bowl of it (for the day's only meal).
fuck insane friends (still?).
fuck illogical (becoming psycho?) friends' girlfriends.
fuck cox communications' collective dumb ass ("teh 'cable' light is on but you can't surf?" "you're a fucking idiot. i haven't been able to get an ip from the dhcp server for almost a week. wtf is up with 'tier three tech will call you in two days'?").
fuck stressful family situations.
fuck loneliness.
fuck stagnation.
fuck fairfax.
fuck life right now.
current mood: aggravated
current music: %,%-ziq: lunatic harness
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| Saturday, June 9th, 2001
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12:50 am - BLARG
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cable is down. a paraphrased excerpt from my conversation with cox tech support guy:
me: "modem has sync, can't get an ip from the dhcp server; no matter what box i connect to it. boxes that work on an internal dhcp server"
cocks teck: "OK GO TO START SETTINGS CONTROL PANALS NETWARK. FIND YOUR TCP IP FOR YUOR ETHARNITS CARD AND DELEATE IT"
me: "uh. fuck you, buddy."
a) you're not troubleshooting shit with me, when using a working dhcp server, i get an ip fine. the problem is on your end.
b) windows? bleh.
i told him to put in the notes "i'm not an idiot. don't treat me like one."
level three supar teck is supposed to be calling me, i'll probably be at work.
can't find any nugg. schwag, bleh.
carpet installed upstairs today, that was crazy. lots of moving and shit, on 2 hours of sleep. i drank through it. heh. the carpet feels good on my feet. my room has carpet for the first time since the fire, so i can move back in there. once all the shit from other rooms that were being carpeted is out. my brother's room (heh, i still consider it his room, though he hasn't lived here in almost 10 years?) is empty. very weird. seems like an interesting place to trip. like awaken's room when it was empty. cept it has squishy carpet. i think i may dex tomorrow night. wish i could get some nugg. though the people looking for me can't call me right now, as i'm using the phone line. bleh. i hope cox gets their collective head out of their ass soon. hopefully by the time i get home from work tomorrow? hope work doesn't suck. showering will be fun tommorrow with all the furniture in the bathroom.
boredom and disjointed thought.
fuck stuff. stuff sucks.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: atb: don't stop (some whacky super extended mix)
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(6 comments |comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 7th, 2001
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1:55 am
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eh, what the fuck is up with dealers not showing up? it really sucks, and makes shit shady. bleh. so no nugget tonight, some mids, eh. had planned on eating at tia's after we got that and puffed; but it was too late by the time we gave up. got chalupas instead. quite good, did not seem to be as full as usual. here's something stupid:
00:02 tacobell is bad food
00:02 bad meaning not good for you?
00:02 bad as in not good food
00:03 bad as in corporate what they want you to eat and consume fast food on a dialy basis
00:04 lauri_fish: uhhhhhh...taco bell is bad because they are a large company?
00:04 funny
00:05 they are a company that slowly takes away your knowledge of how to do for yourself becasue they hand ot over to you
oh no. without fast food places, i would walk around in the kitchen banging pots together and wondering how food comes out of them =(
got 256 megs of ram for replicant (now 512), sennheiser headphones, and lacie 19" electron blue monitor. woomp. i suppose i'll have to wait until i get a new desk before i set up the monitor. =\
i am feeling a distinct lack of female companionship. bleh.
i wish i had massive amounts of money so i wouldn't have to work or worry about much at all; i would have time to worry about my appearance, and finding a girlfriend. ...
brittany will be back in the us in a few days, but 3ish hours away from here; plus i'm trying to move in a northwesternly direction. (though she said "you are NOT going to seattle.") i don't know what sort of relationship we will have. it will be strange.
current mood:  lonely
current music: BassDrive mp3 stream
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