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Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
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1:55 pm
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hey all
i switched to deadjournal
instead of livejournal
www.deadjournal.com/users/sepulchre
come join the deceased
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001
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7:03 pm
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If I were a stone, I would be..a geode, ugly on the outside, better on the inside.
If I were a tree, I would be..weeping willow, they're all droopy and odd.
If I were a bird, I would be..a crow, they are the only other creature other than man and ape to make and use tools. extremely intelligent.
If I were an insect, I would be..i would say a praying mantis, but then a female would mate with me and then bite my head off.
If I were a machine, I would be..an arp 2600 synth module.
If I were a tool, I would be..an opportunistic idiot.
If I were a fruit, I would be..chasing male tail.
If I were a flower, I would be..those white lilies.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be..a snowfall, nice and cold.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be..a wraith, intangible, invisible, and dangerous,
If I were a musical instrument, I would be..a guitar....duh.
If I were a kind of profession, I would be..an assasin.
If I were an animal, I would be..something that flies.
If I were a color, I would be..grayish blue.
If I were a fragrance, I would be..leaves burning in the distance.
If I were an emotion, I would be..the breath of silence after chaos and struggle.
If I were a state or feeling, I would be..rage.
If I were a vegatable, I would be..comatose.
If I were a sound, I would be..static and feedback.
If I were an element, I would be..fire, quick and bright, it destroys and purifies.
...if you should die,
die in winter,
die in winter.....
thanxx for the survey, sara.
current mood: not bad
current music: wumpscut vs. haujobb-- die in winter
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 18th, 2001
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9:17 am
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hey
everone post a comment
and tell me what you're all thinking about
haven't heard from most of you in a while
current music: tool
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(8 comments |comment on this)
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9:15 am
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I know the pieces fit
cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing, pure intention juxtaposed
will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.
I know the pieces fit
cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together,
rediscover communication.
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.
There was a time that the pieces fit,
but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the the math enough to know
the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow,
and strengthen our communication
cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers
between supposed brothers.
And I know the pieces fit.
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, July 16th, 2001
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8:15 am
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i haven't posted anything in a while so i guess i should while i have the time. my mother is still insane, even more than usual really. i am learning a lot though, like how to dominate someone's life completely with guilt, bitterness, and rage. this suxx.
anyway, i'm working hard on finding an apartment for sara and i. there are a few more things to check out.
i wonder why my posts are never longer than about ten lines..........
current mood: bleagh
current music: staind-- it's been a while
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 12th, 2001
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10:27 am
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today i am made of glass
break me
and i will cut you
i am hostile
to those who push
i am the new breed
go ahead and underestimate me.......
destroy.
erase.
improve.
current mood: sick of these stupid obstacles
current music: meshuggah-- future breed machine
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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10:20 am - personality test
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here's what came up when i took the test:
The Architect
"Question Everything."
If that isn't already your motto, you might want to consider adopting it. As an Architect, you excel at analyzing situations and understanding things. You have a tendency to focus on the here and now -- the world is yours to mold as you wish. You love to design and redesign and redesign yet again. It's truly fun for you, which makes the rest of us vomit.
As a relatively bright person, hypocrisy and ignorance annoy you. You consider yourself reasonable, and when idiots make silly statements, it just pisses you off. You should calm down a bit, or you might say something very rude. Funny to the rest of us, the target of your attack may not be thrilled. Then again, who cares what the idiots think?!
In the end, the world is what you make of it. Your personality can be an acquired taste for some, and first impressions make not be your strong point. But if someone can speak to you reasonably and keep you in reality, they might get to know the incredible person within.
sounds about right i suppose.....
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 10th, 2001
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12:35 pm
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can't think of anything to put here
someone mail me a good survey
something that no one would already know
and i'll post it
current mood:  hungry
current music: tool-- the patient
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Monday, July 9th, 2001
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8:22 am
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my brain hurts
i have a psych test in ten minutes
and i need to talk to realtors today
new people have started journals
a friend down here
and a friend up north
sweet
finally got rid of my job
and for some reason i have way more money than i ever did
when i worked there
i should have done this a while ago
the threads of all possible futures
intertwining......
current mood: busy busy busy
current music: professional murder music-- of unknown origin
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 7th, 2001
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12:20 am - my angel......
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i never expected sara to fit in here so well. my friends already miss her, as do i. she became such a part of my daily life, and in just one week. i can't wait to spend every day with her.
on other notes, uhh.....learning how to use wav editing and impulse trackers to sample my guitar playing and other music and such. sweet.
current mood: not bad
current music: system of a down- know
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2001
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8:15 am
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sara goes home today
*sigh*
but we had a lot of fun
and she'll be back soon
*yay*
current mood: still have my angel.......
current music: smashing pumpkins-- glass and the ghost children
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
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8:24 am - if i can just survive the next two days
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i've been saying:
"if i can just suvive this week, i'll be fine"
every week for about two months.
except of course my week with sara.
things are changing, though.
(see previous entry about my job.)
i get to see my angel in two days
*yay*
speech class went okay.
my teacher's a bit loopy,
so it's pretty good.
gotta go to psych class now.
current mood: if i can just survive........
current music: soil-- my little halo
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
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12:28 pm
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i'm only working to pay to fix my car
and i'm only fixing my car to get to work
so i'm selling my car
and quitting my job
i'll get some other job
that only requires like 8 hours a week
just to pay for cd's and food
i started my new psych class
pretty good, nice teacher
start speech tonight
(bleagh)
current mood: too tired to be this busy
current music: apoptygma berzerk--eclipse
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(2 comments |comment on this)
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| Monday, June 25th, 2001
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1:34 pm
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8:56 am
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*thanxx to sara and cody for the birthday wishes.*
now....for the less pleasant matters.
this is for all of you bastards that have filled my "friend" page with your kindergarten name-calling and tantrum throwing. you know exactly who the fuck you are. i'm not going to flame at anyone from 850 miles away. that's pointless. i'm not going to sit here like most of you and throw useless insults, or empty threats that you'll never enforce, or anonymous missives, or any of the other shit that's gone on here at livebattleground.com. i started an account here because i wanted to see what my friends were up to and be involved in their lives. never thought this would be a war. i see the things some of you say to each other and to sara and it makes me sick. and you all wonder why sara wants to leave indiana so badly. fuck you all.
i can't speak for most of the people who have been hurt because of this...but i can speak for myself (and there are others who feel this way...)when i say:
LEAVE
ME
THE FUCK
ALONE!!!!
"i can only die over time
filthy hands stay away from mine...
...death is fine
give me mine
only one of us walks away
only one of us walks away......"
current mood: ...........
current music: slipknot
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 21st, 2001
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9:30 am
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man, weird stuff going on lately...
sara and danielle,
tony and whoever the hell that is,
strange.....
today is the last day of summer term a
monday i start my new classes
psychology (neat)
and speech (bleagh)
i'm still moving things into my new place
it's starting to look like my room again
gotta go to my last humanities class now
heh heh.. take home final ....what a joke......
"black then white are all i see
in my infancy
red and yellow then came to me
reaching out to me
lets me see"
current mood: i'm ok right now
current music: lateralis--tool
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
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8:24 am
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got all my tests taken
moved my house last night
cryss and i found some store of superhuman strength and stamina
and pretty much moved everything ourselves
god i'm tired
otherwise i'm alright i guess
learned the entire intro solo to fade to black
so things can't be all bad
the 29th is approaching nicely
i can't wait to see my angel again
current mood: no more heavy lifting!!!
current music: soft library sounds--stereomud "pain" in my head
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
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8:22 am
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i'm so tired
i keep oversleeping, trying to catch up with all the sleep i've missed in the past three weeks. unfortunately, i can't catch up, i'm not allowed to sleep that long. i've been running at full throttle for a week, and before that i didn't want to sleep because i wanted every moment i could with sara. well worth it. i'm going to bed early tonight. after school, and my humanities test, and getting my car fixed, and moving across town, ..............i'm never going to bed, am i?
current mood: asleep
current music: the cure--just like heaven
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Monday, June 18th, 2001
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12:53 pm - my brain hurts
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ugh
well i'm done with work for a while
and i did okay on my astronomy test
and i'm taking my humanities test tomorrow
so i have more time to study
yay
Initiate a timeless stain of mind
Blood will sterilize
In fire baptized
All pain sifts through my soul
You'll never feel greater misery
Master of my enemy
Let the purest stain of mind
Wash the virtue from your eyes
-stain of mind--slayer
current mood: tired but i can't sleep
current music: stain of mind--slayer
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 16th, 2001
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11:05 am - static and feedback
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my car broke down
i have two 3 page papers to write before monday
i have two tests on monday
i work all day today
and all day tomorrow
i'm broke
and in debt
and i haven't slept in days
but i have my new processor for my guitar
and my angel loves me
so i'm okay
...
current mood: *twitch*....fine....*twitch*..
current music: disasterpiece--slipknot
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(1 comment |comment on this)
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