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LiveJournal for [.·. • .·.Acid . Tears.·. • .·.].
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| Monday, March 4th, 2002 |
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i can say now that i know what michelles situation felt like. okay so michelles situation was sorta yeah different. she almost had togo to jail and thats why everyone did it to her but yeah. my parents, relitives, parents frens, relitives frens, EVERYONE is making me feel so stupid for the things i.ve done. they go around talking about me behind my back, glaring at me or talking to me saying how stupid i am and what a dissappointment i am. who the fuck do they think they are. damn. on a happier note i was actually glad to go to school today. glad to see faces without anger..glad to see people without hurt. glad to not be crying and glad to just see people period. i have major testing for the next two days which is going to suck because i can never concentrate on tests and idunno. i tried to hide from mr nicoletti today cause he wants to talk to me and frankly im sick and tired of him. i HATE principals so much. they are all fucking bitches. what a coincidence. my moms a principal. wow. i am in love with the new dashboard confessional song. rawr. shellie met this kid friday. he asked her out friday. they started going out friday. he lives in like brockport so she hasnt seen him since friday night at the teen center. he is really young. he looks like a jock and from what i hear he is pretty full of himself. oh and he has a girls name. its dana. so i wrote "dana is a girl" all over shellies planner. i fell asleep in soc during some movie. i can.t stand holocost movies. i hate the holocost with a passion. i hate adolf hitler. i hate fucking nazis. oh my goodness. i love system of a down. |
| Friday, March 1st, 2002 |
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| i screwed myself over so bad. my mom dont know im actually failing more than 1 subject and my principal mailed home a letter talking about my failing grades and how i gotta go see my councler for an improvement plan. so my mom decides that today she.s gonna call him back. she called him around 8 and he wasn.t in his office so he is gonna call her back. when they talk she is going to ask so many questions and hes goinhg to talk aobut how im actualy failing classes. my moms gonna come home ask me why she didn.t know that. she is going to get so fucking red in the face it.s not even going to be funny. i know her all too well. i.m already grounded..but i.m going to be grounded for a hella longer time. she just called me and told me shes called 2 private schoools already...biship carney and another one..and i have to go meet with them soon. i am so scared of my mother its not even funny. i have been for as long as i can remember. i hate this feeling so much. fuck. |
| Thursday, February 28th, 2002 |
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| i got super sick today in school. my temperature was a hundred something. i swear my eyeballs were literally sweating. well, i wasn.t crying..so that.s probaly it. then i had to go wait in my dad.s office for an hour and now i.m home..sposed to be sleeping..i wish i could. ive been having this really really really bad pain in the back of my head for about 2 months now and it feels like someones thjrowing a baseball at me. the spot where it hurts it got all hott today....i must be in hell. |
| Wednesday, February 27th, 2002 |
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| i had a bad night. my mom and dad decided to get angry at me about my grades during dinner. so me being a stupid ass decided to yell back. i cried. no i bawled. my dad laughed. i don.t understand sometimes. my mom is gonna call a private school tomorrow and if my grades dont come up i.mma have to go to one. she got so angry with me that she told me if i said another word to her she would hit me. there she was. threatening to hit me and my dad just sat back. they don.t even care. i am fucking sick of it. |
| Tuesday, February 26th, 2002 |
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i got yelled at by the principal today. stephanie and christina were outside his office and they could hear them. argh! lol i just got back from a church thinger...not my church..not my religion but i went and it wasnt exaclty church...just ppl from stephanie.s morman church. matt was there and i met nikki and matt.s sister. i haven.t seen matt in months! but i didn.t like talk to anyone. i was really tired. we played "mini olympics" and i had to put all this snow clothing shit on and run to the other side of the gym and it was all falling down to my ankles and then matt fell and stephanie went pee. lol olympics are fun. woo. i.m tired. g'night. |
| Monday, February 25th, 2002 |
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im going to hawaii sometime this year w/my family its going to cost over 6 thousand dollars just to fly there. idunno how thats gon work out. im going to nyc with christine sarah katie and some other people in june. the sucky part is that we.re leaving june 26th at 6am and getting back on june 28th at midnight. we.re going by train and my birthday is june 28th. this will be the first year i haven.t been home on my birthday. on june 29th i have to go to heather.s graduation party then the 30th i have her graduation in buffalo. i absolutely hate traveling. i have to stay after tomorrow and wed for art i have to go to sarahs on friday and i don.t want to i have to somehow give my rents my report card w/o them absolutely spazing at me. right now i.m just so stressed and i.m feeling sort of down. i know that shannons talking about me..i don.t know why though i.m just so unhappy with everything that.s going on right now. i don.t even know why. i have no reason. i.m beyond tears. |
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it.s your son or it.s your daughter are my screams loud enough for you to hear me? should i turn this up for you? i sit here locked inside my head remembering everything you.ve said this silence gets us nowhwere gets us nowhere way too fast the silence is what kills me i need someone here to help me but you don.t know how to listen and let me make my decisions cause i sit here locked inside my head remembering everything you.ve said the silence gets us nowhere Gets us nowhere to fast all your insults and your curses make me feel like i.m not a person and i feel like i am nothing but you made me so do something cause i.m fucked up because you are need attention, attention you couldn.t give i sit here locked inside my head remembering everything you.ve said this silence get us nowhere gets us nowhere way to fast |
| Sunday, February 24th, 2002 |
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grrrrrrr....i never want to step foot in a hospital again. my great grandma is um..dead. i got the primer55 cd and im feelin sorta sick. i had a dream about  peacelizard last night...pretty weird seeing as i dont even like yeah......hmmmm thats all how boring.
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| Friday, February 15th, 2002 |
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| i.m not gon write for a lil while..i will like....in a week or so..maybe....i have nothing interesting to say and nobodie reads my shit anyways.....but yeah tootles@(*#&@(*$&!*(@& |
| Thursday, February 14th, 2002 |
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ok so yea i.m sure a lot of other people do too.but i probably have different reasons. it doesn.t have to do with boys....or relationships or jealousy. it.s just.. .....ugh fucking nevermind. |
| Wednesday, February 13th, 2002 |
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well, happie almost valentines day peoples. oh how i hate valentines day last year ashley schaffrin`s younger brother who was like in 5th grade asked me to be his valentine i.m really pathetic when it comes to these things. <3333 for everyone. eat lots of candy |
| Tuesday, February 12th, 2002 |
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i had this really weird dream last night idunno matt [the one emma likes... the poser w/the slipknot shirt] was chasing me around the street :/ and then the scene changed and i was in a room and pat was there then the scene changed again and i was in my room and you know those things on movies where its a circle that spins and it sharpens knives? well there was one of those only the blade was a razor and i kept cutting myself and bleeding and it didn.t hurt. idunno it was just weird. anyways...new picture on the lj and a new icon.. idunno if i likes tho rawr. i think pat is dead..or something and samantha keeps worrying i have a party to go to started about... an hour ago blah i.m lazy chicken. |
| Monday, February 11th, 2002 |
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cause if i did i.d be just like you but you.re my enemy, and soon your gonna see ya gotta be yourself to be happy cause your not, your not fucked up visions in my head imma fucked up kid is what they said but at least i know all the things that i want and its all the things i.ve got cause youre so quick to point the finger you act like your shit dont linger it feels good when you see someone else in a rut it gives you confidence and makes you happy but your not, your not fucked up visions in my head imma fucked up kid is what they said but at least i know all the things that i want and its all the things i.ve got we talk you say you see my way but i know that you wont leave today cause change you what you fear the most now the end is getting close and the end is getting close and the end if getting close fucked up visions in my head imma fucked up kid is what they said but at least i know all the things that i want and its all the things i.ve got so yeah..now i.m talking to samantha...she randomly came up to me and asked me my sn today..idunno she thought i was queer cause of the whole tapeworm deal..and made a big fuss over it..but whatever. hahahahaha..i like greg.s profyle: im...colorblind, kid. yummm..popsicles |
| Saturday, February 9th, 2002 |
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| The new blink 182 song really really fucking sucks. Probably because it brings back memories of jeremy and the linkin park my december song makes me cry. it reminds me of chase. it.s all so weird because...i don.t talk to either of them anymore...and i don.t even really know them anymore...so it.s not like i have feelings for them. and idunno..they make me all emo :[ |
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| my hair tie thinger is not cooperating with me...argh...i have to go to this "self defense" thinger today...and i REALLY don.t wanna...i guess it.s ok cause i.m going with christine katie and sarah..but yeah..no fun. then after that i have to BABYSIT..which is also not fun...and already..my weekend sucks. tomorrow...i.m going out to look for new bedroom shit...i don.t like shopping for that stuff...my brother bizz maybe josh and brad are going skiing//snowboarding tomorrow...and of course..i.m not going. there was this kid...stalking me last night...zack...everytime i turned around...he was right there..and it was scarey...and yeah..i keep on writing a lot of "..." eep...bye. |
| Thursday, February 7th, 2002 |
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| mmmmm, i had a good day today...well besides the fact that people had to go around talkin bout how they were goin to the =W=/std concer tonight. i had a computer class today..and i can type 75 words per minute. weird..cause i usually type slower than that..maybe i was just in a hurry :/ i wore my hair down today..i haven.t worn my hair down in a looooong time. i think zack is like stalking me..or something..everytime i turn around he somehow manages to be like right there..geez. maybe he wants to kill me :/ i.ve got so much homework that i.ve been putting off...and now i only have about an hour to do about 4 subjects. eeeeep..what the fuck am i doing on the computer? i love my cat..how pathetic. |
| Wednesday, February 6th, 2002 |
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This is a reminder that today is Artie's birthday (hurleypunk182). You have Artie listed as a friend in your LiveJournal, so we thought this reminder would be useful. -- ummm, yeah...we got our report cards today...my grades were... Incomplete [art] A [chorus] C [english] Satisfactory [learning center] C- [math] F [music] B- [gym] C- [sci] C+ [ss] F [spanish] C+ [tech] ok...so...yeah...i suck. |
| Tuesday, February 5th, 2002 |
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| i saw zack a lot today. stephanie was like makin fun of him cause he has ADD, umm...but yeah i went all psycho-bitch on her. idunno...matt.s gettin sorta annoying lately...i kinda wish i didn.t start talking to him again. mrs. davis came up to me today and she.s like "oh geez do you wear all those necklaces and bracelets to bed or do you take them off?" and i was like "uhh..i take them off" and she was like "oh when i was younger i used to keep mine on all the time, it had it.s disadvantages sometimes, but rarely" it was gross...i mean if u never take off ur bracelets/necklaces/rings then you get like black marks and ewww it.s just discusting. we.re writing resume.s in home ec and i figured out today that i don.t have any past "accomplishments" like i never have won an award or anything...ha. what a dork that ashley is. yeah and so Samantha put gold glitter all over my hair today...and it.s still there and it.s starting to bug me!!! Thursday is the =W=/STD concert and 2 of my cousins are going [shawn and brad] and a lot of other people are going [clay, alexandra, joe, brian, jen, etc] and guess who.s not going?! ME!!! grrrr. someone better take pictures or something and let me at least see them..or i.m going to go insane. |
| Saturday, February 2nd, 2002 |
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i finally got my bondage pants from hot topic today...ehh the.re kinda really long and i almost tripped so i tried to pull them up and i looked like slim shady grabbin' my crotch. errm..yeah bizz.s grandma said i looked like a clown :/ but yeah i got a blink 182 shirt and a good charlotte shirt too. i saw i am sam today and man i swear i cried about 213970923874 times i was fuckin' bawlin. it was sad...or maybe i.m just a cry baby :/ but yes that was my day. it.s my mom.s bday tomorrow and of course nobodie told me so she asked me what igot her today and i was just like "uhh...u.ll have to wait and find out..." heh..so yeah now i.m screwed. i miss matt damnit...i havent talked to him in almost a week now. ......byebye.
You are a dominating person. People don't stand in your way. Everybody basically does what you say. And if they don't, they better start, or you just might have one of your henchmen kill them.
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LiveJournal for [.·. • .·.Acid . Tears.·. • .·.].
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indescribable.
sick.
uncomfortable.
scared.
dorky.
sad.
bored.
full.
sleepy.