Wednesday, August 1st, 2001
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11:01 am - =>> mediocrity rules
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new screen name: CriminalsAreCool
new livejournal: cultureslut
if i wanted you to read my journal i added you as a friend
if i didnt
i dont really care you can read it anyway
if i forgot to add you as my friend and you are really that desperate to be considered one of my friends - comment duh. :-)
current mood:  awake
current music: the donnas
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(Tell me you love me)
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Monday, July 30th, 2001
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10:02 pm - =>> its hard to believe you are home by yourself when i justt heard the voice of that bitch
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question:
why is it the guys that are most appealing are the ones i really cant have no matter what..
like my best friends boyfriend (not in michigan)
actually not the one i cant have.. been there like twice.. but i mean i wish i could be with him with out that guilty concience.. im such a bitch for doing what i did to her.. but .. i would do it again in a second..
IM SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.
to change to a lighter subject.. i am comming back to michigan .... its gonna be longer than i thought.. prolly about another month.. even tho i dont wanna be here even another day... but i cant help that.. it might be less than another month by soem miracle....sheesh
maybe a new peice of ass? haha
im sick of the marco shit hahhahahhhehehee ..
Baby Can You Handle This?!?
i really should quit drinking.. i drink EVERY FUCKING DAy.. teuquila, beer, anything... today alone me kim n john drank a gallon of SoCo DownTown Punch and a 5th of tequiila..and now im home drinkin beer.. it pisses me off..im fuckin drunk right now damnit
call it what you wanna call it im a fuckin alchoholic!
ok now im gunna go my fingers hurt...
current mood:  horny
current music: method man
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(2 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Sunday, July 29th, 2001
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9:49 pm - say my name say my name when no one is aroudn you say "baby i love you"
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I'm sick of always hearing all those sad songs on the radio
All day they are there to remind an over sensitive little girl
That she is lost and alone
I hate our favoirte resturant, our favorite movie, our favorite song
We would stay up all through the night
We would laugh and get high and never answer the phone
I can't forgive, can't forget, can't give in
What went wrong cause you said this was right
You fucked up my life.
current mood:  bored
current music: anti-flag
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(5 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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8:46 pm - its official .....you got issues.. i got issues.. i miss you..
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i wanna go back to detroit.
i wanna fire bomb florida
man i have been a really hostile person lately and i dont know what to think about it.. does it have to do with unknowingly been fed pcp? doesnt it make you hostile/ argry/something along those lines?
SoCial CuNfuzIOn: for some reason lately i have had this attitude where id rather stab people in the face than get laid
i said this to someone a little bit ago and thats really weird.. im goin crazy its this florida shit and its goin to my head.. or maybe the fact that i have decided not to leave my hose in the past two days..
someone come get me-
im still the baddest bitch aint a damn thing changed.
current mood:  amused
current music: zombie fuckin nation
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(Tell me you love me)
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12:36 pm - =>>and i taste what i could never have again..
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well yea i had a fun friday.. hehe
me john n kim decided to go up to ft myers beach for the nite.. kinda a spur of the moment thing.. hehe and we get there and were walkin around tryin to get someone to buy us a bottle of tequila and this guy waves to me so i smile and wave back .. then he like drags me kim n john to this store and tells kim how cute i am n shit.. and she tells him to give me a ride on his rice burner- i coulda killed her.. so i am forced on this bike and the guy is like ohh u got a man n wanna go see a movie and all this shit.. i finally get off the bike and we go on our way.. finally we get sum guy at a bus station to get us a 5th of jose cuervo.. then we drive him to work to be nice an dhe werks and 7-11 and says he'll sell us beer if we come in there.. so ya know its all good.. we drive around do a couple shots.. then go to chandlers house...kill that bottle faster than we got it then go get a case of beer.. drink it in like 5 seconds.. then go get a 12pack from the 7-e guy.. and by the way by this point i am so drunk i can barely even walk.. then we meet up with seth and john n kim drop us off somewhere on the beach.. and we have no clue where the fuck we are and then john n kim take off and go to waffle house.. so we sit there drinkin beer still.. and up walk kim n john afer who knows how long.. so we head out.. and drop seth off and head towards home...and we have to follow seth cuz were too drunk to remember how to get there( its surprising john knew even how to drive my car...) on the way home somehow we lost seth and ended up onthe express way.. and kim also ended up driving.. drunk as shit with no licence and no clue how to drive anything.. and she cut off a state trooper.. interferred with a cop pulling someone over and got us inthe middle of a damn high speed chase.. and we didnt get pulled over.. but we are lucky to be alive.. we finally get back to johns house and jsut pass out.. even tho we really had to get home.. so kim didnt get bitched at and i didnt get my car taken away .. im glad we stayed cuz i was REALLY drunk.. haha i wished i woulda puked er sumpin er at least drank sum water cuz i had an actual hangover inthe morning.. i thought ive had hangovers before- but if that was a hangover then i aint ever had no shit like that! it was horrid!
but its over and im about to go get sum beer n chill on da beach with colin n kyle..
this island gives me the weirdest feeling all the time.. i swear i am in a permamant trip when i am here.. i cant wait to get back to michigan
i have 6 more days for my mom to find me a place ot live for 1 1/2 months while she is in north carolina i hope she finds sumwhere.. i am desperate.
oh and hey- if anyone wouldnt mind having me invade yer space for about a month and a 1/2 let me know! i'd be able to live in michigan again! and you would be my new best friend for that.. yea i really need a home! so let me live with you!! i dont eat much .. i can sleep on a couch and i dont take up much space! im easy to ignore and i easily not be around if you dont want me to be! come on- thats a great deal!
byeeeeee
take it to da houseeeeeeee!!
current mood:  sick
current music: staind
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(1 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Friday, July 27th, 2001
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2:10 pm - =>>drugs kill... yea right!.. BITCH IM FOR REAL!
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i jsut found out me and kim were givin PCP a few months ago.. how awesome is that.. thats why we have been goin out of our minds.. if only i was a friendly raver my lifetime goal would have been complete..
cuz ya know i have always wanted to give a candy raver PCP and a big mean biker extacy cuz that would like totally change their lives er sumpin.. ahah like totally! :-/
i hate florida i wanna come hoooooome!
PCP woah haha
current mood: awake
current music: HAPPY FUCKIN HARDCORE
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(2 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Thursday, July 26th, 2001
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8:22 pm - =>>shut your mouth you dirty slut, you know you want it in the butt...
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fuck man
im crazy
just out of curiosity,
why is it when ever you dont want a relationship it seems like they're just being thrown at you?
personally i feel like right now i cant have a relationship.. whether or not i want one.. i jsut cant have one.. i dont feel stable enough in my stupid head...
i dont want anything to do with relationships (except my wonderful michigan friends and kimmy)
no boyfriends
no sex
nothing.. that shit is jsut pissing me off above all..
aw damn my audio galaxy shit is done dling... peas
current mood:  annoyed
current music: d12
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(Tell me you love me)
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6:05 pm - =>>say no to drugs
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i am back in hell- yes thats florida
i had a really great time in michigan and i am moving back in like a month er sumpin
i met alot of hot guys n i wanna get in their pants hehe ;-)
yea u know who u r muah hahahahaah...
but i dont know if u read this shit... this is the first time i have been on my computer in like a million years.. sucks.. well im going- but i am gunna put some michigan pics on here some time today..
prolly later tonite so check em out..
im gunna go eat right now and then drink my tequela and deal with colins bullshit.. argh hah byeeeeee
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(1 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Friday, July 13th, 2001
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9:18 pm - =>>dont you point at me and tell me what i should and should not do. :)
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yea i am at carries right now- i wanna dye my hair purple but i gotta wait so i can dye my bangs pink.. i cut my hair back how it used to be.. it looks better i like it.. so yea i think i wanna move back to michigan.. but i jsut gotta find out where i would or where i could live..ya know? im gunna go back for a few weeks but then i wanna ocme back fer good.. i hate florida. its gay.. but i wanna go take a new lj pic so peas !
current mood: chipper
current music: aretha franklin
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(5 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Tuesday, July 10th, 2001
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4:15 pm - => i got boys all over the road.. i got boys helpin me unload.. foooorrttyy boys in forty nights
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1:30 pm - =>> we need to set the record straight
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did we ever have an understanding?
did we ever have anything at all?
not that i recall
you were never really there for me but then i was never really there for you its true
the rest is up to you
you say its wrong
its right
you say we wont
we might
we thought about it twice tonite
and if we dont think were broken hearted
its because were glad weve parted
i think weve had enough for two
well i believe in second chances
i believe this world is gonna end
and i would do anything to set the record straight
if youd believe
will someone think about the heart break?
will someone realize theres been a mistake?
give back all you take
no one cares enough to listen
no one cares enough to rationalize
just between the lies
well i believe in second chances
i believe this world us gonna end
and i would do anything to set the record straight
did we ever have an understanding?
did we ever have anything at all?
not that i recall
the rest is up to you
current mood: annoyed
current music: mxpx
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(Tell me you love me)
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12:03 pm - =>>come on lets ride
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sheesh i was being really depressing last nite..
sorry ..
i was all drunk n barred out..
plus i got in a fight with a little bitch named colin..
so yea sorry fer being depressing
but yea i sould break a beer bottle over colins stupid head
current mood: amused
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(Tell me you love me)
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12:59 am - =>>wobbity wobbity what? DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT.
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wanna know what the thursday surprise is? too bad im not tellin ya! but you better know for damn sure you better have an appointment to see the doctor!if ya know what i mean har har har!
long way from home
lost by an echo
never have known
ive got pictures to prove i was there
but you dont care
heres me over seas
cross the pond
by the dover peaks
ive smuggled myself into new nationalities
think youd be proud of me
theres room to believe
out of sight
out of mind
out of reach
start over
theres no way to begin
ive got pictures to prove i was tehre but you dont care
but you dont care
what price do you have to pay to be truly happy
ill pay it
current mood: fucked
current music: the get up kids
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(Tell me you love me)
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12:27 am - =>> call it what you wanna call it.. im a fuckin alchoholic
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damn my life is strange.
well since i had no place to live..i am back at my dads.. i hate it here
but anyways
i have a surprise for everyone who has ever known me on wednesday or thursday
yes you will all be very happy.. i hope.. i would want everyone to be happy
well any way.. i forgot to finish what i was typing earlier today.. but ya know what i have realized since i have been in florida and michigan .. and well my whole life? i have realized i hate my life and nearly every aspect of it.. my life consists of nothing but sex drugs partying boredom.. and the sad thing is is that is all it will be my entire life.. and i know it to..and well.. although sex drugs and partying aint that bad.. it gets old.. especially with the same people..
dude even the person i can truly say that i love .. i hate.. as much as i love that kid and would give my life to make him happy and i know he would do the same for me.. i also hate him with a passion, it drives me nuts.. so yea i dotn pity my self .. but i hate life.. er i hate MY life.. but im sure everyone elses life sucks too.. and if they dont think it does.. im sure i do heh..
so im gunna sit here.... drink my corona... smoke my newports... and be miserable... but i dont care...
i dont care about anything any more
current mood: shitty
current music: xzibit
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(4 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Tuesday, July 3rd, 2001
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1:12 pm - =>>we need a resolution
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well alot has happened lately..
to make a very long story short..
here is the news paper article:
Violation of probation arrest
A Marco Island resident wanted for violating probation in Maryland from a grand larceny sentence was arrested over the weekend.
Colin Matthew Hance, 19, who gave his address as 214 Tahiti Drive, was arrested around 2 a.m. on June 24 at the intersection of North Barfield Drive and Bluebird Street, police reported. In his written report, Officer Brian O'Malley indicated that Maryland officials confirmed they would extradite Hance.
that is the beginning.. i was with him when he got arrested.. so we were sitting inthe back of the cop car together and had a conversation about how everythign would be ok and we would try "us" again.. and we would leave together when he came back to me..
.. the police also called my dad and he found out i was with colin and shit and he tried to send me back to michigan the next day.. but i want you al to understand the only reason i did not come is becuase of colin and i was so worried and depressed i had to wait for him. and make sure he was going to be ok... so i left my house .. with all my shit.. and came to erics house where i am currently staying.... colin had called me a few times from jail and he said that if maryland did not come get him with in 10 days he would be let free. so all we had to do was hope they wouldnt.. so 2 days later . me and mike go up to the county jail to visit my dear boy.. and as we are filling out some paper work.. we look over and theres colin.. and im liek what the fuck are they sending him bakc to maryland already? then he walks out the door withhis shit and says "im free" so i runup andhug him and kiss himand mike said everyone in this waiting room is crying cuz of us.. hehe so we come back. and we have a long talk.. from now on its just jessie and colin .. we will leave marco as soon as we get some money.. and go where ever we want..
so 2 days after that.. me eric his mom colin n mike n henery go camping to get off marco and away fronm all the mafia type cops and shit..
then camping got gay so we packed up and went top ft myers beach and stayed at the lani kai for a few days n got fucked up and me and colin got our tounges peirced. i got mine done again in front and colin got his fer the first time.. and now we are back . and things are going ok..
my dad thinks me and colin are living in ft lauderdale together and we are getting maried and starting a family.. and unfortunately so does everyone else onthis island.. even my sister and colins sister think we are engaged.. haha.. even tho i tell them we arent.. they think were gonna elope.. its pretty silly.. but yea anyway..
i have a nice house to live in.. i have my boy.. i have almost everything i need.. and things are going quite well dispite all the things we have gone through..
that is the very short undetailed version of my story.. sorry i am too lazy to type the long detailed e\version.. but im sure you dont wanna read it all anyway....
so im out.. im gonna go call some people and try to find sum rolls fer the 4th tomorrow peas my niggazzz
current mood:  indescribable
current music: lil wayne
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(3 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Sunday, July 1st, 2001
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9:57 pm - =>> things will never be the same
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Monday, June 11th, 2001
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2:46 pm - =>>~*=!=*~==*==<--><=>~*~
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Monday, June 4th, 2001
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3:51 pm - =>>what would you do?
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sheeeiiit
for some reason lately i have been feeling this overwhelming sensation of loneliness and that i have lost something/someone very special.. and i have. and it is seriously driving me crazy.. it was not long ago.. but enough time that i should have gotten over it by now.. but i havent and i really dont know what to do.. i have tried everything. but getting it back in the most sincere way possible.. and that is my next plan... even tho i should realize that i have something much better not far away .. i cant leave this behind.. i have to try or regret not trying for the rest of my life..
What the hell am i supposed to fucking do???
someone please tell me
what if i or it(my plan) fail?
arghhgrgsgsdghjklj 943
its better to know than to guess what would have happened if i keep my mouth shut
its official
jessies crazy
current mood: alone
current music: nothing
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(8 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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11:19 pm - =>> rawwwwrrr
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yea im at dereks right now
we jsut went and saw shrek it was a really cutn funny movie
tomorrow i am goin to see pearl harbor so thats strizait yooo
well we were trying to go to a party in golden gate er sumpinso imgunan go byeee
ash- yer soo lucky .. one day i wanna go to a prom.. and i mean actually get in and everything.. cuz last time i did the after and before part jsut not the middle.. muahahah
current mood:  anxious
current music: stained
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(Tell me you love me)
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Thursday, May 31st, 2001
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5:17 pm - =>> am i yer angel?
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well ho hum.. my phones got turned off cuz we were moving soon.. i have no phones.. no internet... no car... all the more reason for me to move to key largo and get on a plane to detroit faster.. all i ever do now is sit at home watching sailor moon and dragon ball z, mess with my dreads, and smoke mad ports..... its boring..
so fucking shit.. john left yesterday.. im all alone with no one that i want to hang out with..
if only i could get a hold of JAMES.. his dumb ass is in florida but i keep missing his calls.. god damn him.. i guess he moved here with steve n his sister.. they are 2 hours from me in ft peirce right now.. and i wanna see him super bad yo.. but im gunna go cuz i got a fucking head ache and need to use the phone...
bye
current mood: bitchy
current music: shaggy
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(3 People love me | Tell me you love me)
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excited
dirty