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back to mf...oh, valentine heartache...i love you... |
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i'm becoming boring. my life is a constant circle of work, running, eating and sleeping. i haven't even had time to finish moving my stuff out of my old apartment. (though i did get a big chunk done over the weekend.)
electrojazz posted something this morning that made me think a bit. about priorities. about "not having time." i agree with you. it's easy to fall back on "i don't/didn't have time" as an excuse. generally, it's accepted as valid. but, is it? i'm not sure. i think sometimes there are things i really "want" to do, things that i consider high priorities that i don't always have time for. and, sometimes, i'm going and going and going (and doing basically what i want to do) and i get in to trouble for not maintaining certain relationships i had more time for in the past...
and i suppose wanting to do something is different from needing to do it. i *want* to play frisbee in the park, but i *need* to finish moving. what goes first. what "should" go first? (and why can't we just throw that pesky "should" out the window?)
it's a mess, really. but the bottom line is, i think, that if i really really really want to do something, i'll do it. especially if it involves being around a person i really want to be around. the rest of it, well, it usually figures itself out.
ce ca.
p.s. i used to consider myself fairly high maintenance. i think my friends did, too. i don't anymore. (though i'm not sure how they feel. i'm sure there is a big difference in the way my friends from home (and/or college) see me and the way folks in tucson do. interesting.) however - i. can. not. stand. "maintaining." it's not my job to make everything alright for the people around me. i love and care about my friends, and i'd pretty much do anything for them, but i can not, under any circumstances give someone 100% attention.
p.p.s. this is why i appreciate, tremendously, the people around me who don't need "maintaining." those folks who i can spend three days with, and not see for a week, and everything.is.okay. those folks who i can be around for days, weeks, months in a row, and not get tired of. those folks who have that balance in their lives, that unnameable-sometimes-taken-for-granted stability...thank.god.for.them.
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