| The most beautiful thing I've ever written, so I'm told... |
[29 Aug 2002|04:26pm] |
*~Sitting in a Computer Lab with Change in my Pocket~*
This dismal hospital white washed, disinfected bleached out existance. The sunlight overcast by numerous clouds sheds light filtered blue into this clausterphobic room. The cumbersome biodome next to me is incessitantly compulsively sneezing, maybe succombed by the stench of menthol emersing from his lips. He is sick. He need not cover his mouth, he shares his story with me. "I've been sick since school began, and I'm getting worse day by day." he chokes out. "Mono?" is my guess as I slink towards the opposite side of my desk, breathing cautiously through my hoodie sleeve, covered in a thick masses of my little furball's hair.
This is of no avail. I slink towards him to keep the bleaching light out of my face, highlighting my hair..a sort of cherry essence brought to this once dull hospice of computer equipment. Picking up my personality encased in a small barcoded card and massive keychains extending their arms across my desk, I head for the door. ::sneeze:: The biodome is alone. Feeling invisible arms extending to me and pulling me back to his area, I sat down. Is this a technical romance? Do I feel pity? Hell no. What attracts me to this person? Absolutely nothing.
His fingers feverishly typing, pacing his words and clacking of the keys, he looks up, then back again and delves into his importance. Again, then back. He pulls down the shades, complete darkness other than the bright bleaching out tendencies of the hydrogen tubes overhead. The constant hum of the computer fans and clacking of keys irritates his morale of doing something more than talking to his counterpart and his bullshit webpage. "an Ode to No One" is the somberous title of his page..a sort of Smashing Pumpkins meets Clive Barker ensemble. A mass of mixed feelings and morbid gut-wrenching detail. A love lost here and there, and his gay fascinatory with the "guy next door". Silence. Pause. Redemption. Backspace hit a thousand times, typed words, denial, backspaced again. Thoughts not able to be expressed.
He asks me for further analysis on his perception of this young man, who is not of regular standards I hold him to. Could this be the one for him? Or him for that matter? I've not met this person, and just by one opinion I cannot make a clear foundation on this reality. Do I express my thoughts of his all-of-the-above type nature? I nod and sigh. "You are a sweet person, but this guy doesn't seem like someone that you normally would date" I say. He nods in agreement and leans in, allowing me to smell Aspen mixed with menthol of cigarettes and stale coughdrops. Hug. I realise that in that instant, he's not a self centered pompous homosexual, he's my best friend. I return the confidential hug, and grab my personality and head for the door.
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| virgin mobile |
[29 Aug 2002|04:08pm] |
Can we add Virgin Mobile to Livejournal>???
Virgin Mobile Usa
The text messager is to the right of the screen.
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| Jeremy sent this to me... |
[29 Aug 2002|02:42pm] |
It's so right though...so many people to smack, so little time.
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| I like being in charge of a world I didn't create...namely my life. |
[29 Aug 2002|09:05am] |
Well, I have a short day today. I've got two classes and I am done about 1pm. Good stuffs. ::looks at her TRIGUN keychain:: already I am bored. They haven't assigned any work so far, and last night I was soooo tired I went to bed at 830. Can you believe it? I can't.
I woke up this morning around 2 because that stupid fucking flag was flapping outside my window..and since it was wet because of the rain, it was loud. The second thing that was waking me up was the damn crickets that live in my mom's plants. Arrgh. It was like a nature DJ outside. I just concentrated on one cricket's chirping that was to the beat of my heart, and I went to sleep.
Odd how when everything is quiet, you can hear your heartbeat..in your EARS!! I thought this was funny. Like Dad, I've grown accustomed to where I can slow it down or speed it up by just concentrating. I'm sure if I concentrated hard enough, I could get it to stop beating altogether, but I won't do that. I'm not dying for anyone or anything.
Geez, I'm tired. I've got like 20 minutes until Art history, and a freaking hour until I find out if I made cast or not. Gir. Anyway, I think I am going to go post on my other journal now...all I have to do is copy and paste...but still. OH! I almost forgot..I have apple juice and you don't. Harhar.
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| "he's gonna eat monkay!" |
[28 Aug 2002|12:44pm] |
This is the monkee from crank yankers...I love this little fella.
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| ::waiting for science class:: |
[28 Aug 2002|11:32am] |
Which figure in my dreams are you? by Polly Snodgrass
You know, I've found that I like posting in my journal in between classes when I have nothing to do. It's better than all those stupid asshole emails I had to answer the past two years. I don't care who reads my journal..or who decides to comment. It doesn't matter to me. I can always delete you and put you on block. That's the wonderment of this journal. I can also set it to no anonymous posts and log your damn address. Hahah.
But anyway, I'm not in a foul mood. I'm quite happy. My baby is off work today, and things are going well. I'm thinking about deleting my deadjournal. I really don't write in that one all that much, and writing in this one is great. I have a lot more people on here I know other than deadjournal..and I'm happy. But, if anyone needs a livejournal or deadjournal code, let me know. I plan on deleting my deadjournal tomorrow night or maybe saturday..depending on if I can get online Friday or not. I just like reading deadjournal more than I do writing in it. I really need to get Kristen to join livejournal. I think that she would like it better here anyway.
Well, I'm off to read deadjournal now..baibai
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| ::stretch:: |
[28 Aug 2002|09:02am] |
I took more pictures this morning since I had time. I promise I'll post them at the end of the week on gothic-babes.
Well, this week has been too long, and for no reason at all. Professors are getting pissed off because they're getting screwed out of time that they were used to..it's funny. My science professor was ging to cancel class Friday, then when we told him we only have one lab day (monday) he got all ticked off. It made me laugh..labs are only on mondays..never were they more than one day. He knows this, he's just going through alzheimers. ::giggles::
Anyway, I've got about 28 minutes until my fundamentals class..then I have science at 1. I'm wondering what my sweetie is doing today. ::opens up aim:: Ahh, there he is.
Hmmn, I noticed that some people can't live things down and out of their lives. I also find it funny that the same shit happens EVERY year. Same ol' same ol'..Billy, Chris, Angie..blah blah blah. Why can't he just admit that he wants her back. It's so funny. Really funny.
Yenni said that "Zero" thinks he knows who I have slept with. That's a laugh. There's only been three people. Three. (Note sarcasm in upcoming statement)Yeah, I really sleep around at college to get better grades. ::laughs loudly:: yeah..that's so me. ::shakes head:: Oh, and I cheat too..mustn't forget that..::snort, and insert more laughing here:: Seriously, I am engaged to a guy that I have been on and off with. I didn't have the time to give him time in a relationship (and I didn't feel that was fair to him, since he was in DC and I here.)when we first started dating way back when..and now that I do, he's mine and I his forever. There's no one else I'd rather spend time with and be happy with. He rawks my sox. ::smiles::
Seems like some people are really thirsty for info, and I think it's funny. Maybe they should really go to college or have two jobs during the summer to see what "busy" is like. Or maybe they should run or produce a soap opera. There are so much better things to do then to talk about who's dated who, who's screwed who, who slept with who, etc etc. I really don't care. I have enough drama in my life, and it's all in textbooks first. I have fact, not fiction.
It's so nice to see what people start though...it's like that whispering game, when you say something like "the moon is made of bleu cheese" and when it hits the end it sounds like "my mom is shade of my knees" It gets so distorted and twisted that when it comes back to the original person, it doesn't even make sense. I laugh at this. People think they know my life..and it's a fake life composed of people who are jealous and envious who decide to make up one little lies that are onions in my bean burrito of truth, and basically screw themselves over.
Truth is, I'm not worried. As soon as I got back onto campus..you would not believe the people who asked ME if they could sit with me at Westover, and I've already been invited to three parties, a sorority meeting, clubbing, rollerskating and whatever movie I want to go see. Granted the movie was proposed by a sweet freshman guy, but I have him interested in Yenni so far..(go yenni)
I don't know about the whole sorority thing..the idea of being normal and conforming to a cheerleader like society? Erm, nix that. Fuck that noise. (Max) I'm doing more SAB stuff this year, and then I have to work on theatre stuff. I almost have enough points to be in the theatre honour society (this is really good stuff, you'll hear about it later Yenni)and that is great! Tom wants me to do more stage makeup stuff with him at Renaissance Theatre, and I think Brooke may have me work on makeup for Rocky Horror. (funny how people thought that I dressed up for it, but there was no one I knew there, until...well you'll see later) I explained to people I dressed that way all the time, and then Jen walked in and laughed at them for saying that. "she dresses like this 24/7, there is no normal"
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| Painting Class |
[27 Aug 2002|08:28pm] |
Gah. We were only there for like what...50 minutes?!?
Yeah, then he tried to say that since Amy and I were commuters, that we could stay til 1030. Harhar..she's a mother, and I KNOW I need some damn sleep!
So, it turns out that instead of t/r classes, we have tuesday from 330-8pm. Good stuffs!
I did get to talk to my sweetie today!! He's taking his certification class test next week, and he's also coming to see me! He keeps telling me this ring isn't good enough. I think it's fine. I mean, we've almost been together for a year, and things are going wonderfully. People have tried to say things and come in between us..but when love is that strong..you never know. He's working this semester and taking a couple of classes..some that he can transfer back to LC. He wants to move down here next semester and me to move in with him, and then when I graduate, we're the hell out of dodge!
I'm excited..but more for him. He's been through a lot of crap, and he's getting so many recognitions. He makes so much money doing what Nathan does at ITR, and he doesn't have to hear college drama. What a wonderful job. To work by yourself, and not have to listen to girls whine and complain about work, or even people who just don't do their job.
I'm so proud of him. He's the first guy I've dated and really loved (there have only been two)that wants more out of life than to talk shit about other people. Even when Jeremy does talk shit..it is good.
I know I'm rambling on and on..but I'm kinda letting my heart lift me a bit. There's really nothing that can get me down because I have a true relationship that has a very solid foundation. He protects me, and I protect him.
yay! Mom just hugged me. I don't care what anyone says...a hug from your mom is ALWAYS good. Or if your cat rubs its nose on the heel of your foot..lol, as my kittie katt Nala is doing. ::reaches down and pats her head::
I love you Jeremy!!!
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| Whatever Lola wants....Lola gets... |
[26 Aug 2002|09:22pm] |
Yup, I sang that song tonight..good stuff.
Anyway, I think the rehearsals did go pretty well. I was only asked to read for Columbia..so I think things went quite great! ::giggles uncontrollably::
Even if I am not cast for Columbia, I am still going to be a part of it somehow. Who knows...I may be assigned to makeup.
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| Hmmn.... |
[26 Aug 2002|04:00pm] |
My science professor said some pretty interesting things today. Odd, but interesting.
I'm counting down the minutes to my spending time with Jen and going over "Whatever Lola Wants" from Damn Yankees at 5pm. She wants me to sit in choir with her and meet the new choir leader.
I've got auditions and books to still get...and people to visit...arrgh. What a day. At least I'm comfy. Oh shoot. That reminds me, must go get leggings out of mom's car before 5, or I'm screwed for dance.
I know I am writing a whole lot in my journal, but I have time, and most of my friends out of state wanted to know what my life is like when I can't go clubbing on Tuse/Thurs nights anymore..::pout:: But I do go on Saturdays..it's great.
LOL - K believes I'll get cast for Rocky Horror. Granted I do shave off my eyebrows from time to time, dye my hair red, and wear neat looking makeup...that doesn't guarantee that I'll get cast. (I've transformed much from the high school pseudo/goth days)
Grr. I'm going to my mom's office now to go hang out. I need a nap really bad.
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| Something to decifer and think about... |
[26 Aug 2002|12:08pm] |
she shines
in a world full of ugliness
she matters
when everthing is meaningless
fragile
she doesn't see her beauty
she tries to get away
sometimes
it's just that nothing seems worth saying
I can't watch her slip away
I won't let you fall apart
she reads the minds of all the people that pass her by
hoping someone can see
if I could fix myself I'd -
but it's too late for me
I won't let you fall apart
we'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
...but they keep waiting
...and picking
it's something I have to do
I was there too
before everything else
I was like you
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| Hmmn, |
[26 Aug 2002|09:19am] |
Gir. I found out that the so called Acting class doesn't start until 930..well I'm in here writing on this blasted thing, and getting annoyed at hotmail. Gimme my mail!
I have this awful crink in my neck, and it is raining. Could anything be worse? Gir. Not unless a certain person decides to show up to school today. He's really starting to get on my nerves. I DON"T WANT TO DATE YOU. Leave ME alone.
The thing is, Billy really wants to date me, and I know this. He can go out whenever he wants and do whatever...because he's on his own now. Well, I am not. I have things to worry about, a life to lead..and I JUST started school again. I would rather hang out with Kristen anyway. I don't rust him as far as I could throw him, and who knows what people of my past he's buddy buddy with...and who knows who is getting him to search me for info.
That is why I loathe lynchburg. I love my college, but I hate lynchburg. Too many people with their noses in my business instead of being mature and leading their own lives. Get a grip people. I am a boring, studious college student and nothing more.
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| A most needed Re-post |
[25 Aug 2002|09:54pm] |
Well, they honestly don't know the true and real Jade now do they K? Nope, perhaps not. Some people will find me out to be quite secretive and protectful...but this is my life, and I am not yielding to anyone (unless you ask nicely..lol). tsk tsk to those who try to even bother messing with me and my life..because you know what? I don't care. I REALLY don't CARE. I have better things to do in my life than to waste it on revenge. And you know what that means? It's called MATURITY. I may seem a bit snobbish, but I have every God given right to be. Elitist or not, I don't care. People I once knew to be absolute sweethearts decided to do what they wanted...and now I'm doing it my way. This is going to be my Junior year in college, and no one is stopping me from what I want to do later, or in the next five minutes. Those against me aren't getting back into my life, no matter what little tricks and schemes they want to play. You weave the web, and get bitten by me..it's not my fault. I'm not putting up with any childishness or shit from anyone. I have learned a lot of hard lessons in my life, but rather than being bent on revenge, or miserable, I do my best to shrug it off. I had one amazing summer because of how I looked upon things. Call it abandonment, but if I figure out you're using me, talking bad against me, or just plain out to be an ass...it's your loss.
I have plenty of good friends who I trust and have known for ages. I am always open to meeting new people, being that I am pretty much open minded period. Those who KNOW me, aren't going to hardly recognize me this year at LC. I'm going to shock a whole lot of people, I know it..lol. I can see K's jaw drop now..::grin::
Well, on an end note..I am writing a thank you listationess~!!
K, you are the greatest person I've ever known. I really want to thank you for teaching me that being a total bitch to those who deserve it, is not all that bad..lol. But, I also want to thank you as well for being so philosophical in your views and at least showing SOME maturity in matters we have encountered, which is more than I can say for this sad Falwell dominated little town. I look forward to wiping more "andy sweat" on you...(c'mon, you know you like it)
Rob, you have been a trip this summer. I'm sorrie that I was such a work-a-holic that our convos were at 5am! But, we're going to dance our asses off this year and have some fun damnit!
Angyl, I hope wherever you decide to go or whatever you decide to do in life, that you always look at the positives. You CAN do what you dream, and don't ever allow anyone to stand in your way. I am very proud of you, and I wish you the best on your future endeavors. Keep dancing girlfriend!!
Jeremy, I want to thank you for the most magical summer I've ever had. Thank you for giving me a roof over my head and allowing me to have more freedoms than I could ever imagine. Even though I didn't have a car..I was glad your mom didn't fight with me about me paying for my stuff. (she was nice in the offer, but the point of me being in DC was to do things for myself, and because I wanted to)Ozzfest was excellent, and I am glad we both had the time to go with our busy schedules. Oh, and if you can see about From Beyond's answer on that proposal I offered from SAB, get back to me.
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| My mom makes a mean chili dip. |
[25 Aug 2002|09:33pm] |
She does! yummi.
Well, tomorrow is the big day, and I'm nervous. not nervous because of school, because I know what's going on there..I'm nervous because of the audition! I found my gold glitter tophat, but I don't think I'm going to take that to the audition.
I re-dyed my hair today..now it's like almost stop sign red..more like Columbia's, but I've got it all combed over like hers. I was goofing around today practicing her lines cause she's got that really high pitched dollface of a speach...like Guys and Dolls but better!
I've gotta switch over classes tomorrow..I'm not ready yet for illustration. I'm taking science which is my last general education class..but guess who only needs 26 credits after this year? ME! usually I'm taking like 19 credits per semester which yes, is a real workload..but considering no one in this town is worth my time really...I'm doing stuff to improve myself.
Mom always said to be someone to someone else, you have to be someone to yourself first. Well, I think that was pretty self explanatory after last semester...I had honourable mention. Put that in yer pipe and smoke it! This year will be just as easy as last semester. I have a painting class at 530 to 8pm on t/r and I'm excited. I always LOVED painting..but at least here they give us projects to do instead of "oh, go paint or draw something". I hated that about high school.
I am starting to work on my Senior Project though..I'm going to talk to Jeff tomorrow and see about me doing makeup for a play next semester so that I can have my senior thesis/visual project done. (ugh, ten hours until school..)And that's not a bad ugh. I love my theatre. it's the best place next to being in a bed with a thousand furry blankets and your best friend. I mean my kat numbnuts. ::insert eyeroll here::
::itchies nose:: Anyway, I found my pencils and stuff I bought at the little anime pub I went to in Georgetown. It's great. You've probably read this already..but I adore my hello kitty keychain. lol. you punch her tummy she glows red, you pinch her butt, she glows green. LOL. I just think it's funny. I'll have to scan the package, because it actually says "butt" in japanese. ::cackles::
Speaking of which, I know how to fold origami now! I can do stars and the original crane and stuff like that, and I'm working on doing a tetrahydra (I think that's how you spell it.) I really need to scan that trunks picture I drew..I was bored at work one day, and we were doing inventory..nothing I could help with. My JTHM one is on here somewhere from last year..must find that too. Funny how when I was working at Suncoast I was queen of anime and horror. Surprise Surprise...little southern gal knows more than DC people about anime and horror (and they made fun of my accent. That'll teach em!)Insert obligatory sarcasm here-----> x See that? that's my sarcasm, incased in that little x.
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| woohoo! |
[25 Aug 2002|04:11pm] |
School starts tomorrow.
So are rehearsals.
I'm looking forward to seeing what new theatre people we have. I met one girl the other day, and she's pretty kewl, but a bit nieve. I know she's going to be deathly busy with that schedule she's got, but oh well. If she needs help, I'll help. I can't make any promises.
SAB stuff starts back up in the middle of September, and I can't wait. I think this year I am going to sign up for Film this time, because we get to pick our own films we show on campus. Definitely LIlo and Stitch for spring. No doubt about that. We had shown Harry Potter last year during the Spring, so that's out for this year. If we show Jimmy Neutron I'm going to kill someone. I hate that movie. we need to show Lord Of the Rings! That would bring people from off campus too..and maybe we could earn some money..::shrugs::
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| Stupit Advisors |
[22 Aug 2002|10:19am] |
gir. no one is in the theatre house right now, so I can't get my stuffs signed. And listening to VNV is all i have for comfort right now...
Well, I am bored so I'm going to write about my little groupings of keychains I'm playing with.
Hello Kitty - She lights up if you punch her tummy, it's red...you pinch her butt she's green..lol It was humorous, a must buy.
Buttercup - She's got one arm missing due to my nala trying to hide my keys.
Trigun dood - I don't know which one he is, but he's got a suit on, brownish shoes, and carries a cross and has a cig hanging out of his mouth...it looked kewl, so I bought it.
Small "girl power" lanyard - I've had this since the 'spice girl" era. It houses a few pins..one being gir from invader zim, and the other being a bettie page beach pin.
Everyone's entitled to be stupid - I think this speaks for itself. There are wayyy too many stupit people in Lynchburg alone. Watch your step.
international keychain - James got me this from Hong Kong when he went...it is from a museum of some sort.
Penny with heart cut in it - I will never lose this, ever! My friend Brian gave this to me when I was in 4th grade. It's my most prized possession. (I haven't seen him in five years)
LC ID - my id card that allows me into everything locked...LC now reminds me of Resident Evil...everything is under lock and key...weird.
Small pair of folding scissors - these come in handy.
Small bungee hook - i love this little thing..it's cute, and they're good for when I have to give people my theatre keys.
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| Names anyone? |
[18 Aug 2002|02:55pm] |
i got bored so I decided to look up some names on ivillage.com..
Jade - name of Spanish origin, means: Jewel; precious stone.
Jaycen - boy's name of Greek origin, means: One with healing powers.
Maggie - name of Greek/Scottish origin, means: A pearl.
Polly -
girl's name of Hebrew origin, means: Little; bitter.
Marshall - boy's name of Germanic/French origin, means: One who is in charge of the horses.
Robert - boy's name of Teutonic origin, means: One with bright fame.
Kristen - girl's name of Greek/Danish origin, means: Christ-bearer.
Angela - girl's name of Greek/Latin origin, means: Angel; messenger.
Jeremy - boy's name of Hebrew origin, means: God will uplift; exalted.
If your name isn't on here, go Here
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| It's just a jump to the left.. |
[18 Aug 2002|12:25pm] |
I have decided that I am going to try out for RHPS at lynchburg Fine Arts center. I have included a small email I received so that other "lynchburgians" (almost sounded like the Transylvanians..lol) can get down on this too...!! (you can thank me later Rob, Angyl, and Billy)I know all of Columbia's lines by heart..so BEAT THAT!
From Lynchburg College Student Email to theatre majors:
Auditions for
THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW
at The Lynchburg Fine Arts Center
August 26 and 27--with callbacks on August 28 if necessary
Auditions begin at 7:00 p.m. You will need to sign up for both a musical
and dance audition slot. Wear comfortable clothing and come prepared to
perform a song of your choice.
A script is available for perusal at the Center from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
Monday through Saturday. To sign up for an audition slot or for more
information, please call The Lynchburg Fine Arts Center at 846-8451.
Performance dates:
October 19, 25, 26 and November 1, 2 ----- 7:30 p.m.
October 20 and November 3 ----- 2:30 p.m.
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| Ozzfest |
[16 Aug 2002|09:04am] |
wow. Ozzfest was awesome.
Jeremy and I got there around 230, and hatebreed wasn't on yet..Lost Prophets was I think. It was a bit warm, and I got my tips of my shoulders a little pink..but ehh.
Adema played a good set, but didn't have shit for visuals..P.O.D. came on, didn't have visuals either, but excellent volume, excellent crowd involvement. Rob Zombie was fucking hilarious...he did a lot of commentary on the chicks removing their shirts (saw a lot of nicely shaped girls, a few who were almost flat chested trying to compete..lol) and made sarcastic remarks about the heat...lol. He had four posters of monsters on stage, and showed his trailer for his new movie. I don't care if it is directed by him, it's going to suck ass. Cheesy as shit. Anyway, the posters he had were of lon chaney as the wolfman, boris karloff as the "monster", phantom of the opera, and I think dr. jekyll and mr. hyde..I'm not sure, we had lawn seats..lol
Anyway, Ozzy didn't play ANY of his new stuff, it was all Black Sabbath/ early Ozzy (I say early Ozzy to mean after he left Black Sabbath)But nevertheless, it was so kickass. They even shot of fireworks at the end....beautiful. Here's what Ozzy played, and not necessarily in this order:
*Crazy Train
*Road to nowhere
*Goodbye To Romance
*Iron Man
*No More Tears (my fave Ozzy song)
*Mama, I'm Coming Home
*War of the Pigs
*Paranoid
SO in other words, Ozzy is absolutely fucking great in concert. He was shuffling down both sides of the stage and throwing buckets of water on people...it was so funny..lol. He kept screaming "Oi" or "ahy" though.
Hmmn, whatelse...oh yeah. Jeremy won tickets to see Sammy Hagar/David Lee Roth..but we couldn't go because I'm going home today..oh well. That is going to be a good concert too, and it would have been nice to go since my dad used to listen to both since I was a kid in diapers, but anyway...
I'm going to Pent city today to pick up my check, and I promised K some cloves when I get back to school, cause I'm just awesome like that.
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