Monday, September 17th, 2001
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7:33 am - homecoming........
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the homecoming dance is soon and i don't want to go but it's one of those things that i have too. i don't have a date and i proly have an afful time. o boo hoo me! i should just stop my whinin!!!
current mood:  aggravated
current music: nelly furtado "turn off the lights"
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Thursday, September 6th, 2001
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3:44 am - matt......
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Over the summer I went out with this guy Matt. Now he was never a guy I ever thought of as a boyfriend but he had potential. We went out for most of the summer. We were on the phone with each other all day everyday. But then one day the ringing just stopped, on both ends. I don't know if it was because we both just lost interest or because we were to busy to call. Then about a week before school started he called me up. We both agreed that it wasen't going to work and that was that. As soon as we hung up the phone I knew I made a mistake! All this time I had come to appreciate him and now were just "friends". When school started again I knew I wanted him back but I also didn't know what I should say. "Matt it was a mistake, let's try again". But I'm afraid I will be rejected. I just want him back and don't know how to go about it. I mean he still calls and ims me all the time like every things the same . I wonder if he feels the same way but just doesn't think I want him back. I dunno what to do.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: "what i really meant to say" by:cyndi thomson
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Tuesday, June 5th, 2001
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5:59 am - I hate him........
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Andy is such an ass...... All of a sudden he is being a total guy (go figure). I should have never go involved with him. SOOOOOOOOO not who I thought he was. Oh......then I found out later today that he has a girlfriend-????? I guess she was the one Andy was flirting w/ at the "megabash." (she was working one of the games at our dance thing-she is 17) He didn't even have the balls to tell me. I had to hear it from Jess. I set myself up for heart break and of it happened....Surprise...Suprise!!
current mood:  crushed
current music: "He loves her he loves me not" (lol0
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3:15 am - What next?..............
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Why do guys have to be soooooo fucking difficult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood: bitchy
current music: ne song that talks about guys being assholes
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Sunday, June 3rd, 2001
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5:39 am - Worried and Waiting.......
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Andy went to a party last night and Jess was going to be there also. When Andy and I talked yesterday he told me he wasen't going to talk to her because he was really upset with the whole megabash situation. I'm really worried that they will "make-up".....dear god....NO! I guess I'm selffish and I want him all for myself. Andy and I aren't even going out. I felt horrible because I thought it was my fault for there quarel. But why the hell should I feel bad for that 2-faced bitch???!!! I want Andy to give us a chance. The way he acts I think he likes me but......I just don't know what to do with myself!
current mood:  distressed
current music: NFG
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Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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5:42 pm - Andy. . .
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Yesterday there was this dance. The guy whom I love "Andy" went with this absolute BITCH! Jessica. I saw them danicing and it made me sick I almost cried like a little pansy ass. Which is NOT my goal in life! She thinks I jelous of her, and that I'm obsessed with andy (what does she know?) enventually my friend Sara went and bitched her ass out and I GOT ANDY! we danced. Jessica stood directly behind me and starred at me, giving me dirty looks bitch. She said "He promised that he wouldn't dance with any one else". God it's like "OK hun go cry to some one who cares, obviously NOT ME!" *sigh*
current mood: pissed off
current music: Wyclef (no woman no cry)
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Monday, May 14th, 2001
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1:28 pm - Just another epasode in my real life soap opera......
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God......all I want is him! Or maybe I just like the thought of "us" being together. All my friends are buggin him and telling him to ask me out and it just made things more fucked-up. Don't get me wrong...I appreciate there efforts but if he liked me and wanted to go out with me he would asked me because he wanted to NOT because of my friends influence. I have be cry uncontrollable for the last three days...I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting my period or if I'm oversensitive because of the situation. The thing I hate most about myself is that I cry ALOT!
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