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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Christina's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, April 10th, 2002 | |
| 2:35 am | It's a race...I HOPE I WIN!!!! O.K...so this weekend was fabulous...I spent Friday and Saturday with Audra at Jr. and Stacie's house.. we watched Jocelyn Friday night...she's adorable, and she loves us..so it's extremely wonderful to go over there...on saturday we drove to Shenandoah to go therapy shopping...we went to wal-mart and payless..and i bought all kinds of things for myself and no one else...it was wonderful..and then we went to eat Chinese food in Red Oak...and it was fun...and then we went to work, and talked about a bunch of stuff..and Auderz and i decided that i should take Anthony to prom...it will be fun, he seems like a really great guy...so yeah.... then on sunday..we went to Omaha to the car show... Audra's brother Rob drove....it was fun, we were in towntown Omaha, and we saw this car pull out into the intersection and it died..and then all of a sudden the passenger just opened his door and started pushing the car with his foot...i was like..hey you guys...it reminds me of The Flinstones...and audra and her brother laughed, and i really did remind us all of the flinstones...heh heh....and anyways, the car show was ok...but we missed like an entire level of the show...lol... I think Rob was too busy thinking about eating Lobster at Red Lobster in Lake Manawa to even think about cars...anyways, audra and i walked over to Fazolli's to eat...because we hate seafood...and while we were in there...they were playing music..so we decided we'd hate to work there because of the music....and the breadstick guy, kept coming to our table...audra thinks its because he liked her...she ate 7 breadsticks, heh heh and i ate like 5 or something..i was so full...lol...and anyways, we went ahead and headed home...and we were all in goofy moods...and rob sang his version of Ironman....something about a virgin slayer traveling across the land to have sex with your girlfriend or something..it was really funny...anyways... chrisie here, just has something with commitment...it terrifies me... i'm not even sure though, that anthony likes me like that...but just in case something were to happen...i'm afraid...afraid of getting my heart broken again...but i guess i won't learn much, and stuff if i don't give things a chance..so audra and i are going to go on a little road trip to omaha i think ... i'm going to ask anthony to go with me, and she might take mike...maybe we could go shopping and such...to the movies and everything....anyways, bell rang so i have to go... Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: Virgin Slayer...Robs version of Ironman |
| Sunday, December 30th, 2001 | |
| 3:27 pm | I'm surprised this thing hasn't been deactivated..lmao!! i haven't used this for so long..like written in it and shit...i was like..man, i need to check out everyone's journal and maybe write in mine...so yeah, here i am! Today i had to work at 10..it was soooo boring...Felicia came in to the restaurant to eat and stuff today!..she was HUNGRY!...i was like..woah!..slow down CHOMPER!!..heh.. anyways, she wanted me to come play, but i just didn't feel good!!..SOMETIMES...i just HATE being a girl!..heh...OH YEAH BABY!..ANYWAYS...HEH I miss my Stevie!..he's such a wonderful person!...i just wanna go see him and hug him and just squeeze him all up!..:)..he makes me so incredibly happy!..we have a chat date tonight!..we're gonna stay up ALL night and talk and stuff..:D...i'm excited...i haven't really slept much..but imma stay up with my baby!...cause i love him and all that good stuff... I kinda feel bad though...cause he had this cute little surprise for me...and i kinda got Monica to find it out for me!..and now i wish i wouldn't have!...cause it was so adorable...i think i probably would have cried if he did do that!..cause yeah.. wowie and stuff!..:D...anyways, i think imma go..i'm missing steve like crazy..and talking about him..just makes me so sad and stuff..but i'll talk to him tonight right?..woo woo!!...*does the funky chicken*...but yeah...anyways... Current Mood:  loved |
| Wednesday, December 12th, 2001 | |
| 8:56 pm | THIS IS MINE AND BECCA'S X-MAS LIST..heh... the odd's are the one's becca made up...the even's are the one's i made up!!...heh 1. Condoms: ribbed for her, ultra thin for him, French Tickler! 2. 12" rubber dildo: rainbow stripe for me...zebra stripe for becca.... 3. black lights and neon body paint 4. hand cuffs and a long rope 5. gag and whip 6. leather straps and a paddle 7. grape flavored everything (condoms, moni says 'yummy') 8. Everything aphrodisiac. 9. Stuffed buffalos and a 9 iron 10. fan to blow on becca to make her nipples hard 11. popsicle to shove up Chrisie's twat 12. panties and bras...and the WORKS from Victoria's Secret...and P-Tree MUST come..heh and the BIG number 13...we both want this one A.....CONDOM....TREE....oh yeah baby!!!! haha...funny funny!!!!! |
| Sunday, November 18th, 2001 | |
| 7:42 pm | AWE...what a wonderful feeling! what am i feeling today?...i've got butterflies in my tummy... a weird feeling in my heart...like it's skipping a beat or something...and a huge lump in my throat!..everyone says i could define this as love!..awe!..love..what a wonderful feeling.. *giggles*...Yeah..i love steve!!...woohoo!!..Rock on!!...Even if he can kick my ass in Go Fish!..i still love him!...he's a goof... hehe... and today!..i got on this whole.."NAME" kick again!..lol...i know want to name my first little girl Allayna Danyelle!..awe...that makes me smile!..first boy i wanna name Nikolas Steven!...this is.. if i don't majorly freak out and decide i don't want kids.. cause that could very well happen!..heh...anyways..i'm going to head out now!..before i cry!..heh! |
| Wednesday, November 14th, 2001 | |
| 10:31 pm | hmmmm.... Alright!!...well...today started out great!...I woke up to a message from steve!...it was exciting!..it made me smile whenever i thought about it!...School was ok..Skyler only hit me once...which is a big change!...at least i didn't get my ass kicked like usual!...I have a lot of reading to do in order to catch up in English!...Hopefully i can get it done!... After school my mom picked me up...she had Felicia with her!..so I hung out with Felicia!...she's so cute..and so incredibly smart! and she thinks Steve is the greatest!!!...it's kinda cute!...ok, so it's really cute!...I talked to Steve...for a few minutes...long enough to say i loved him and all!... i really miss those deep..heart to heart conversations we had...i dunno...maybe i'm just being weird!..who knows... anyways, then Felicia went home!...and Bill called me...he thinks i'm like some major crackhead...and he was talking to me about how much he misses Monica!...it's so cute...they like each other a lot!! awe!!... and now...i'm sitting here...debating on whether i should wait up hoping steve gets on to talk and do my homework....or whether i should just say FUCK IT and go to bed, and not worry about my homework!!...i'll probably do my homework!!...or at least start it!...so yeah...i better go for now!.... Current Mood:  crappy |
| Tuesday, November 13th, 2001 | |
| 5:35 pm | What a World, What a World!!!! Ok, so like today in Anatomy...Ashley told becca she wouldn't be her ass anymore!...so I told becca that since i was an ass anyways, i'd be her ass!!!...and yeah...*giggles*..then i said something and becca was like..kiss my ass Chrisie...so i kissed myself on the hand...and becca was like..."DUDE!!...my ass just kissed my ass!!!" *giggles* it was so funny!! then Skyler kicked my ass some more today...he like punched me and kicked me in the shin and again on my knee with his boots on.. i was like ouch you stupid fucker!! he likes to pick on me like every single day in English!...i have bruises on my arms and legs 24/7... then, today in Spanish 3..my friend Chelsey had pretzels, and she was all like here doggy doggy, and i'd run over in front of her, and then she'd throw a pretzel and i'd catch it in my mouth..lol..it was funny..then Chelsey drew a mustache on me with a black marker...and gave me a unibrow with a brown marker... and then i put my jacket on and put my hood up and put my hair back so i looked like a guy...and they ran and got the yearbook camera...and took a picture of me..*giggles* i'm gonna be in the yearbook..and might i qoute Tony..."imma lookin like a man"..haha anyways, i miss Steve today..for sure for sure!!!...he's not on.. but i'll be ok..he's been extra sweet lately...i'm just like awe.. that's my baby!!...becca and steve hate each other though... which is kinda bad...i hope they can learn to get along...if not...i'll just have to hang out with them each seperately...:P...anyways, i'm gonna go i think....i don't really know what else to say...i loves you all!!!...you're all so wonderful!!!!... Current Mood:  bouncyCurrent Music: When You Say Nothing At All!!!! |
| Sunday, November 11th, 2001 | |
| 1:35 pm | It's Not Easy To Be Me!!! It has been so long since i've written in this!! I guess I just don't really think about it when i'm online! I'm happy again! It's nice!...I am back with Steve! I listened too much to everyone else when I broke up with him...instead of my heart! My heart was always telling me that i loved him, and to stay with him, while everyone around me was telling me he was a dick and i should leave him...but i talked to all the people saying that, and they said it was only because they didn't want me to get hurt! So that's understandable!! I don't get to see Steve much! When him and I aren't together, it seems like he's here constantly, but when we are together it's like he is busy...but it's ok, i'm not going to let it get to me, because i love him, and sometimes...ya have to do, what ya have to do in order to be happy!...and i know i'm happy with him!!...YAY!!! I'm supposed to clean the house today, my mom says that 'I' have to...i don't understand that...she says she does everything around here, but she really doesn't! She's never even home to do anything!..and then my sister wants me to help her find a damn poem for her college English class, and get some information on the poet, and all this other crap!...Everyone expects me to do things, when i have my own shit to do...but i'll manage! So, I better get going for now...and do some cleaning, and help my sis...and then i'll be back!!.... I love you Stevie!...and i loves me some becster and Auderz da Otter too!!!! Current Mood: thankfulCurrent Music: A Whole New World--Aladdin!!!! |
| Thursday, October 11th, 2001 | |
| 11:23 pm | Chase what makes your heart flutter!!! hmm...today...is a blah day...after staying up till 5...i'm almost sure it was later than that...but anyways, after staying up that late crying....non stop from midnight, to 5...is just i dunno.. wears ya out i guess! me and steve are over...i tried to be his friend...but yeah...it just didn't work out..he pretty much told me to fuck off!...and he said he didn't want to talk to me ever again! which, i'm just gonna let go...cause it's his decision... i'm falling for Eric and...i dunno...is this a bad thing?...i used to like him so terribly much, and the more he is here for me, the more my emotions kick in...and take over!!...i've tried everything i can to make him see that...but i dunno if he does or not... he has something on his mind, and i wish he'd tell me what it was... so i didn't have to sit here kicking myself in the ass wishing i knew what it was...heh...but i guess...i have to respect his decision...and let him tell me when he's ready!...anyways, i'm just about beat...everything is going down the hole anymore...i just sit here...wishing i could find someone that can help me out, and ALWAYS be here for me...Monica and Becca are doing a wonderful job of that...but it's like I almost need more...like a guy...or something...someone i can turn to, no matter what, and not worry about arguing, or crying...i wanna be happy again!...i wanna be the real Chrisie, instead of this down Chrisie that i have been lately!...i dunno...i keep wanting to give up...but that's not an option...Eric won't allow it...becca and monie won't allow it... so i'll just keep my head up...and smile..even though it almost hurts to do that!...i'm going to Chase what makes my heart flutter, and hopefully soon, i'll get it...and then....i'll be the happy Chrisie...Crunchy Monkey would make me happy!...but...what are the chances of me getting that?...one in a million?...or what? tell me what you think... anyways, on to the brighter side of today...i went to Clarinda with mah sis..we hung out...it was fun..we went to the college so she could get her take home test for her criminal justice class.. then we went and ordered pizza from Pizza Hut...and then mah sis let me drive her purty truck...and we went and i got some new jeans and some khakis...and then we came home...and i had to give her the money back....since i didn't have money with me to buy my pants, she bought them for me, then i paid her back..heh..and yes, i did pay her back...i usually do!...and anyways, i came home, and i got online...tried calling eric a few times..he is one sick monkey...but he's getting better....anyways, talking to him was like the highlight of my day...but then he had to leave!...so it's kinda like...aaaaaaaah...but i'm surviving, and i need to do all my homework....an algebra assignment, finish my speech, some anatomy notes and possibly start on my poster for that class...about 5 World History assignments, and study for a Spanish test...all tonight..before school starts at 8:30 tomorrow..yikes!.. get a move on Chrisie!...ya lazy tard ass!!..heh anyways, yeah..that's it for tonight! Current Mood: anxiousCurrent Music: Chase what makes your heart flutter!!!! |
| Monday, October 8th, 2001 | |
| 6:27 pm | ok, if i don't get this out, i'm gonna pop!!... today i talked to Jessica...and she told me some stuff that i probably shouldn't have had to hear...but it's ok...anyways, i am going to post this here, where only my best friends can see it.. cause i know that Becca and Monica both won't say anything.. but here it goes......i will tell Eric, if i decide it's the best thing to do...but we'll see....anyways...lol.... hold_me_im_scared2001: Chrisie hold_me_im_scared2001: hello ck_girl_5: hey Jess! ck_girl_5: what's up chickie? hold_me_im_scared2001: Hey hold_me_im_scared2001: nothin hold_me_im_scared2001: i guess hold_me_im_scared2001: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: whats up with you ck_girl_5: hmm..sounds interesting! ck_girl_5: nothing ck_girl_5: are you friends with Rach again? hold_me_im_scared2001: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: yeah hold_me_im_scared2001: whys? ck_girl_5: ok...i was just wondering ck_girl_5: i wasn't sure ck_girl_5: cause you hated her so much, and now ya'll talk all the time hold_me_im_scared2001: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: i havnt even talked to her for like 2 weeks ck_girl_5: well, every time you're on and she's on, you two talk ck_girl_5: i was confused hold_me_im_scared2001: i didnt hate her....i was just influenced by someone to hate her hold_me_im_scared2001: neways hold_me_im_scared2001: change of subject ck_girl_5: who influenced you to hate her tho? hold_me_im_scared2001: im not gonna be answering that hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: answer it hold_me_im_scared2001: no ck_girl_5: fine! ck_girl_5: bye ck_girl_5: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: CHrisie! ck_girl_5: Jessie! ck_girl_5: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: woot? ck_girl_5: does Rach still love Eric? hold_me_im_scared2001: anything interesting happen this weekend? ck_girl_5: no.. ck_girl_5: not at all hold_me_im_scared2001: CHrisie! ck_girl_5: what? hold_me_im_scared2001: where are these ?'s comin from ck_girl_5: from me hold_me_im_scared2001: I DONT KNOW hold_me_im_scared2001: why ck_girl_5: because i heard things are not going well hold_me_im_scared2001: did tehy break up or somethin ck_girl_5: and if you're friends with Rach you would be the one to know hold_me_im_scared2001: well....i do know somehting... ck_girl_5: no they didn't break up ck_girl_5: well... hold_me_im_scared2001: but im not gonna tell ck_girl_5: i want to know what's going on? hold_me_im_scared2001: i promised not to tell ck_girl_5: who'd it come from? ck_girl_5: Eric, or Rachy? hold_me_im_scared2001: chrisie hold_me_im_scared2001: im not saying nething ck_girl_5: ok Jess... ck_girl_5: never mind ck_girl_5: sorry for worrying about my friends ck_girl_5: shit! hold_me_im_scared2001: all i know is that things havnt been going well for quite some time ck_girl_5: all i want to know is...are things gonna be ok...or are they gonna break up? hold_me_im_scared2001: did they fight this weekend? or somethin hold_me_im_scared2001: ? ck_girl_5: i'm worried about Eric, because he likes her....so so so much ck_girl_5: and i don't know Rachy well enough to know her side of the story hold_me_im_scared2001: i know he does... but theres more fish in the sea hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: so...is she leaving him? ck_girl_5: or what? hold_me_im_scared2001: CHrise! yer putting words in my mouth i didnt say that ck_girl_5: i'm confused!!!!!!...aaaaaaaah ck_girl_5: well...when people say there are more fish in the sea... hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: that normally means that things aren't going to work out, and they should focus on finding someone else ck_girl_5: shit ck_girl_5: you confuse me, lol hold_me_im_scared2001: well i dont think that there gonna get married!!!! hold_me_im_scared2001: i think that things might end very soon!! hold_me_im_scared2001: but dont u go tellin everyone that there breaking up ck_girl_5: i'm not gonna say shit Jessica ck_girl_5: i was simply worried about my friend...damn you ck_girl_5: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: okay! hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: now you're putting words in my mouth hold_me_im_scared2001: Fine hold_me_im_scared2001: good ck_girl_5: damnit ck_girl_5: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: nut uh hold_me_im_scared2001: ! hold_me_im_scared2001: what else happend this weekend? hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: i'm breaking up with Steve...if you even knew we were together ck_girl_5: i think i am anyways hold_me_im_scared2001: I knew that u were together hold_me_im_scared2001: awww why? ck_girl_5: because we never talk hold_me_im_scared2001: i thought u really liked him hold_me_im_scared2001: oh i c ck_girl_5: and this weekend he left without emailing me, and it's the 3rd time he's done it ck_girl_5: this time was only for 2-3 days ck_girl_5: but one time was for like over a week ck_girl_5: and he got mad and told me i didn't understand ck_girl_5: and i shouldn't expect him to be here 24/7/365 ck_girl_5: i was like..yeah, umm..ok ck_girl_5: and i did really like him Jess...i loved him hold_me_im_scared2001: oh well then i think u should break up with him sounds like he was being a jerk hold_me_im_scared2001: well theres mor fishys in the sea ck_girl_5: lmao ck_girl_5: yeah hold_me_im_scared2001: more* ck_girl_5: heh hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: i just don't think i could live my life with someone who makes me unhappy, more than they make me happy! ck_girl_5: correct? hold_me_im_scared2001: YES! hold_me_im_scared2001: lol ck_girl_5: heh hold_me_im_scared2001: well i have a bad situation that im in hold_me_im_scared2001: so help me hold_me_im_scared2001: lol hold_me_im_scared2001: im dating 2 guys hold_me_im_scared2001: lol |
| Saturday, October 6th, 2001 | |
| 5:53 pm | yeah...grrrr i'm so confused anymore...i love steve so incredibly much...but he is always like i want to see you...i'd do anything to come see you and it's a 3 hour drive to here....and he keeps going to places like Boone and all that...and just last night he left to go to St. Louis....hmmm....that's at least a 6 hour drive!...i wouldn't be so upset if he'd just tell me...that he was leaving...that's all he has to do, i won't argue with him...just an email...saying hey chris i'm going to st. louis..i won't be back until..whenever...and all that...so that i don't have to sit here waiting for him to get on..when i could be out doing something with my friends...like now that i know he's gone...i'm gonna go into audra's...and hang with her...audra so thinks i'm stupid for putting up with this...but it's funny what someone would do..when they're in love..right?? |
| Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001 | |
| 1:47 am | dot dot dot.... only becca knows the true meaning of *dot dot dot* because she understands me...heh...when i say dot dot dot..it usually means that i'm mad...or i don't feel like talking....i'm at school...i miss bec... it's not the same when she's not around...lmao... clint just called skyler a cock knot...it was so funny...clint is mad because his computer won't work but skyler's is...it's great...my head hurts today...it hurts like hell...maybe it was the great sex i had with becca today..i don't know maybe..anyways, yeah...hmm..i'm confused...my English teacher just said she owes me big time.. for what i'm not sure...i have no idea...i think i'll go bug her about it..heh...well, becca... how are them SWCC guys?...find any hotties yet to bring home so we can have a good time?...ha...not even gurl...you can bring one home for you...but i give up....i'm gonna stick with Steve, remain happy, and not let anything get to me anymore....i've been depressed for far to long...*not fun*..and yeah... well, i hope that makeup and money and my black pants worked for you for tonight...and got ya through the day....but you don't need makeup cause you're already purtiful without it...but if you like my makeup..just ask for it whenever you want!.. love you gurl...and i'll talk to you later tonight, imma go pick on ms. harter, lol... |
| Friday, September 28th, 2001 | |
| 8:20 pm | *I Can't Cry Anymore!!!* I really really really miss steve! I miss the nice long conversations we use to have!...I miss him so much...yesterday.. was our one month anniversary..but we didn't talk much!...i dunno i love him to pieces, i just miss him is all!...I sure did call him today...and he was talking about how he was having some problems with Julie's mom and dad and stuff like that, and that's why he wasn't online...he said he'd be online tomorrow, but i sure do have a game at 11:00 and then i have to babysit for Anne..(my English teacher) for like 8 hours...yay me!...so i probably won't get to talk to him tomorrow either!...i do understand why he isn't online, i understand that shit happens...but if i were in the situation he is in right now..i'd want to talk to him about it... cause he always makes me feel better...but i have come to realize that everyone has their own ways of dealing with things, and his way of dealing with this is to just stay offline and hang out at home...which is fine...but why am i crying?...i don't understand.. it seems like every day at school is fine...but when i come home everything goes to shit!...is it because i just put an act on at school?...or what?..i don't understand at all!...i sure do feel like an ass though...get this...when steve told me he wanted to go but he'd be on tomorrow..i was like..ok...and he was like, i love you baby...and i was like..yeah.ok...why didn't i say it back?... i wanted to so bad...i was just so sad cause i miss him...i'm constantly sitting here telling myself to stop what i'm thinking.. because i sit here thinking to myself that maybe he doesn't feel the same way as he used to...i know that i shouldn't feel that way.. but if it ever comes to that, i hope he tells me...and doesn't just try to avoid me so he doesn't have to tell me... that's not like steve though...so everything is fine....but why can't the pain i feel in my heart just go away?..and stay away???? Current Mood: Extremely Depressed Current Music: When the Children Cry...White Lion |
| Thursday, September 27th, 2001 | |
| 12:16 am | KICK ASS!!!! Today, is the 27th...and..that means it's been an entire month since i started dating Steve...aaaaaaaaah..how exciting..wowie!... i could just dance!...heh..i can't dance...*smacks herself on the head* duh hurt Chrisie!..think about it!...ok, so i got a little excited, i can't help it...it's gonna suck after school..i have soccer practice at 5:30 to 6:30...when i could be home talking to mah baby!...i dunno why i have to be so nice, and help other people out...like..my English teacher is supposed to be coaching the soccer team, but she doesn't know dawdily sqwat about soccer so i volunteered to help her...so yeah...i dunno...lol...i'm crazy i guess...anyways...yeah...i think that's it for now..i just had to get my excitement outta me...but i'm good for now!..yay!... |
| Monday, September 24th, 2001 | |
| 10:57 pm | as;dklj I have come to realize that depression kills...today, i was happy at school...and then i get home, and i get online, and it's like shit...and i burst into tears, it's a terrible feeling...i don't know why i feel like this....i hate crying...but it does make me feel better sometimes...just to get everything out...i miss him... it's been 3 entire days, going on 4 since i've talked to my baby!.. i was doing ok...but today, it was like *BOOM* you're gonna be sad today!!..i was sad every other day too, but today was the day it really hit me...like, shit, 3 days of not talking to him...now what...but...he should be home tomorrow i guess...so we'll see...if not...i dunno...i'll just lay in bed, and cry myself to sleep, and die a lonely midget!!!..KICK ASS!!!! Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: It's Been Awhile, Staind |
| Sunday, September 23rd, 2001 | |
| 2:12 pm | Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, Won't You Come Out and Play With Me?!?!?! My weekend has really sucked so far...I haven't talked to Steve since Friday night, and he went to bed early that night...i was hoping he'd be on yesterday before i went to work but he wasn't.. i so wanted to ask him about something Kat told me..it was really really funny!..but oh well, when he's on again, i'll ask him...last night at work sure did suck...i was in such a pissy mood...but soon after i got there this guy Nick showed up...and he was full of piss and vinegar if you ask me...the party we were working for had these 3 girls working, and they were in dresses and shit..anyways Nick thought that one of them was really really pretty...but i had no idea who she was...the other two i knew quite well..so i went and asked this other girl who she was...and her name was Julie...and so i went back and told Nick her name was Julie and that i asked her if he could rape her up the ass...and some other shit..and he was like..grrr..damnit...anyways, i explained to him that i hadn't told her all that...so it was all good...but i was his little spy for the night...i found out her name was Julie, she lives in Lenox..she is 20 years old...and she likes mashed potatoes and chicken legs...and Nick was like..well at least we have something in common, cause i like chicken...then he made this one comment...*but maybe not the chicken she likes* oh god did i die laughing...but then, my not so great moment was when i was at work, and i hit my head...damn that hurt..i almost wanted to cry...but i didn't...i was reaching down to get something, and i smacked my head on the corner of this metal counter top we have in the kitchen...damn..lol...it was kinda funny...but when i came back up i nearly fell backwards cause i was dizzy...it was weird....then, i got home at about 10:30 or so.. and i was pretty tired...but i stayed online for a bit, and Steve wasn't on, so i just went to bed...i got to missing him so terribly much last night...but when i went to bed, i woke up at about 1:30 and got online to check for him again...and he still wasn't here, but he had left me some offline messages, one saying he wouldn't be on today at all...man, i could have cried because i missed him...anyways, i woke up so many times in the middle of the night, just wishing i could talk to him...anyways, here i am sitting here today...on such a gloomy sunday afternoon...with my head hurting like hell, and missing my baby like crazy...i dont' know what to do..other than go back to sleep...i keep waking up and checking, just hoping he'll get on...but when i find that he's not here, i just go right back to sleep...to forget how miserable i am today!...but i'll get over it.... Current Mood: lonelyCurrent Music: Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion |
| Wednesday, September 19th, 2001 | |
| 9:36 pm | good lord misty is a stupid skanky whore!! ok, so today, i walked to school with audra, and we stopped by becca's house to get her....we yelled up to becca...she was in her room...so we stood outside her window yelling until she came...and on the way to school...we saw misty...and me audra and becca were walking through the park...and do we ever hate misty...and when we saw her she was dressed up for 80's day at school...and becca yells at her..good god, you look bad enough already and then you go and do that stupid shit to yourself?...and i was like yeah...whore...and becca was like...yeah...incest...cause misty was with her brother...so we were yelling at her to go fuck her brother...and then...i started calling her an imbred texas twat twiddler...and becca and audra were laughing so hard...then i was like...you imbred billy goat humper...and becca was like..laughing so damn hard...and since becca got in trouble for telling misty she was a stupid whore and that she didnt like her the first week of school...becca was all like..yeah, this is good, cause now they are gonna yell at me cause she'll probably go crying to the office...so i told becca that i'd take the blame for it...then us 3 decided that the only reason we'd get in trouble is because the office peeps probably just didn't want to hear misty's skanky ass whine...anyways, yeah... today i also found out that i'm not camera shy...damn, i took so many pictures...and my friends are gonna give me a copy of all the pictures i'm in...so i can send them to steverz....he'll enjoy them..he'll get to see what a nut i am at school..and around my buddies...but anyways, yeah... |
| Sunday, September 16th, 2001 | |
| 6:39 pm | ok, so i have officially decided that i want to get married as soon as possible...tonight if i could...just because i want a pretty cake like the one i saw last night...at the wedding reception i had to work for...and all the food there, was scrumdiddilyumptious...so yeah, i wanna get married for the cake and all the food...i told my aunt Theresa that since she was working with me, and she told me that i couldn't get married just for that, i had to find a guy that i loved with all my heart first.. i wanted to tell her so bad that i had...but, i'm still trying to think of a way to get this news to my mom...i'm sure she'll figure it out when the phone bill comes, since i call Steve 24/7...lol...but i'll be like...who cares who i call if i pay for it...and she can just shut up...anyways..yeah...it will be a good time...anyways, i have to piss, so i'm gonna end this entry right here, before i piss my pants...and then imma call my baby...woohoo i'm so excited, gosh i love him...but aaaaaaaaaaah...gotta piss.. MOMMY WOW!...I'M A BIG KID NOW!!....a;sldkfjasl;dkfjal;ieuj |
| Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 | |
| 11:43 pm | What a horrible situation!! Today, was a crazy day!...all this shit happening and all!..almost lost my baby for a few days at least...i would have died without him!..but now he just has to be prepared for the worst...and i'm hoping the worst doesn't come...cause i need my baby!..he means the world to me...and so much more..i don't know what i'd do without him and all my buddies....they are the ones that keep me happy...and i'm proud to have them all in my life.. yay me!!!...why this happened today, no one knows for sure...but i have come a lot closer to everyone i care about...because it makes me think about why i care about them...everything happens for a reason i guess...but why things like this...aaaaaaaaaaaah....i want my baby here, so i feel safe...i have no one here....i'm all alone...my sister doesn't care...and my parents are both gone...when i need my mom the most...it seems like she is never there...i will never do that to my kids, i will always be there to support them, and keep them safe...it's all i can do...it's what i have to do!...why can't my mom see that, i dunno!...oh well, that's enough jibba jabba for one night...i'm too upset to write anymore...but i love you Steve, and i love you too Becca, and audra, you too!!...you all make me happy...and i'd do anything for you all!!! Current Mood:  infuriated |
| Sunday, September 9th, 2001 | |
| 3:16 pm | Entry, JUST FOR BECCA!!...*giggles* Today, I have really come to realize, just how much I care for Becster!..she's having such a rough time....and i have no idea what else to tell her or do for her, other than just be here to listen, and offer her words of advice...sometimes i feel like that's not enough but then i think that's just about all i can do... I LOVE YOU BECSTER!!...you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you'll never know dear, how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away!!!...and becca, i know you are hurting...but i wanna see you happy gurl...we'll have to hang out...and go rim jobbing for pigs...aaaaaaaahahahahaha...or maybe i can just marry Steve sooner, so you can be the flower girl sooner...aaaaahahaha, becca in a lil' frilly dress...what a sight...all the guys will be walking up to you with their cocks hanging out...just cause you are on your knees...aaaaaahahahahaha...and..just think of fucking up the biggest slut we know... aaaahahahaha ok, i think i better stop with this entry, before i get too far ahead of myself..if i haven't already...oh and Becster...remember.. GONZO LOVES YOU!! hahahaah...and Gonzo have more crack for your crack-a-tory!!!..woohoo...lol |
| Saturday, September 8th, 2001 | |
| 5:19 pm | some people really piss me off...oh well though!! damn i'm tired....and people just keep fucking with me, it's like they want me to be grouchy or something....i told my brother Austin that i was talking to steve but he just disappeared without saying anything, not even bye..or anything like that...and he asks me if i'm *sure about Steve* fuck yeah i'm sure damnit...people don't need to say shit like that...so he does some things like this, but hell...i get over it fast...and then, i'm so damn tired on top of everything, like i said...which just makes matters worse....i babysat last night for Mr. Hults, my science teacher, and his girl just kept screaming cause it was storming out...and then i got home at like 10, and tried to talk to Steve, but he had to run my best friend (hahaha) to the hospital and told me he'd try to hurry back, and my stupid ass stayed up until 3:30 in the morning waiting for him...and i had to wake up at 6:30 to go into town to babysit by 7 for audra's sister...it was just crazy...and now i'm tired as hell, wishing i could talk to Steve or something, but no..not me, damnit....i'm just gonna go!!! Current Mood: cranky |